But here is where I start to see a real flaw in the system. Since servers are earning, in most cases, a significantly reduced hourly wage, they are completely dependent on their tips. That puts an awful lot of power in the hands of the consumer: remember tipping is not technically mandatory. It also leaves the door wide open for some very cruel behavior (and very generous behavior, though those stories rarely make the news). The thing is, “gratuity” is an incredibly misleading word. Rather than being a bonus or a reward for a job well done, servers’ incomes are being completely subsidized by patrons’ tips. Therefore, servers rely on their patrons to keep pace with inflation rates. Whew! That’s an awful lot of pressure. Factor in that most servers have no healthcare, sick days or vacation time and it’s enough to make your head spin. But this is the system we have in place and social and cultural norms dictate that we must play by these rules.

So here we are, left to settle the check but a long way from settling the debate. Sometimes the restaurant tries to make things easy for us and includes the gratuity on the bill. This usually happens with larger parties and is usually specified in writing on the menu. Recently, Pastor Alois Bell of St. Louis made national news when a nasty note she scrawled on her lunch receipt made its way to Reddit. Apparently, Alois was displeased with Applebee’s decision to include an 18% gratuity on her party of eight’s bill. For her $34.93 portion of the check, Alois opted to scratch out the auto-grat and leave the following note instead,” I give God 10%, why do you get 18?” Chelsea Welch, who served Alois, found the “tip” so insulting that she decided to photograph the receipt and post it to Reddit’s Atheism page under the title “My mistake sir, I’m sure Jesus will pay for my rent and groceries.” It went viral. When Alois eventually became aware that she’d achieved internet infamy, she promptly called Applebee’s who promptly fired Welch. Was it wrong for Welch to post the receipt and publicly shame Alois? Probably. But it was also wrong to leave a zero dollar tip and an indignant note. I suppose two wrongs really don’t make a right and now Welch is without a job and Alois has a tarnished image. All this over a $6.23 tip, what a mess.

tipping. etiquettetipping. etiquette

Today in Etiquette: Why to Tip Like a Human Being