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An unapologetic lover of ice hockey and acrylic nails, Natalie spends much of her free time perfecting her one-liners and planning nutritious meals.","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/04cd08a0a1c96a1525a6869722659f8b?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"missnattieice","facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"pop","roles":["contributor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Natalie Grace Sweet | KQED","description":null,"ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/04cd08a0a1c96a1525a6869722659f8b?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/04cd08a0a1c96a1525a6869722659f8b?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/nataliegrace"},"ralexandra":{"type":"authors","id":"11242","meta":{"index":"authors_1591205172","id":"11242","found":true},"name":"Rae Alexandra","firstName":"Rae","lastName":"Alexandra","slug":"ralexandra","email":"ralexandra@kqed.org","display_author_email":false,"staff_mastheads":["arts"],"title":"Staff Writer","bio":"Rae Alexandra is Staff Writer for KQED Arts & Culture, and the creator/author of the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/program/rebel-girls-from-bay-area-history\">Rebel Girls From Bay Area History\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/bizarrebayarea\">Bizarre Bay Area\u003c/a> series. Born and raised in Wales, she started her career in London, as a music journalist for uproarious rock ’n’ roll magazine, \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kerrang.com/features/an-oral-history-of-alternative-tentacles-40-years-of-keeping-punk-alive/\">Kerrang!\u003c/a>\u003c/em>. In America, she got her start at alt-weeklies including \u003ca href=\"https://archives.sfweekly.com/sanfrancisco/ArticleArchives?author=2127078&excludeCategoryType=Blog\">\u003cem>SF Weekly\u003c/em>\u003c/a> and the \u003ca href=\"https://www.villagevoice.com/author/raealexandra/\">\u003cem>Village Voice\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, and freelanced for a great many other publications. Her undying love for San Francisco has, more recently, turned her into \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/bayareahistory/\">a history nerd\u003c/a>. In 2023, Rae was awarded an SPJ Excellence in Journalism Award for Arts & Culture.","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/d5ef3d663d9adae1345d06932a3951de?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"raemondjjjj","facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"arts","roles":["editor"]},{"site":"news","roles":["editor"]},{"site":"pop","roles":["editor"]},{"site":"bayareabites","roles":["editor"]},{"site":"science","roles":["editor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Rae Alexandra | KQED","description":"Staff Writer","ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/d5ef3d663d9adae1345d06932a3951de?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/d5ef3d663d9adae1345d06932a3951de?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/ralexandra"}},"breakingNewsReducer":{},"campaignFinanceReducer":{},"firebase":{"requesting":{},"requested":{},"timestamps":{},"data":{},"ordered":{},"auth":{"isLoaded":false,"isEmpty":true},"authError":null,"profile":{"isLoaded":false,"isEmpty":true},"listeners":{"byId":{},"allIds":[]},"isInitializing":false,"errors":[]},"navBarReducer":{"navBarId":"arts","fullView":true,"showPlayer":false},"navMenuReducer":{"menus":[{"key":"menu1","items":[{"name":"News","link":"/","type":"title"},{"name":"Politics","link":"/politics"},{"name":"Science","link":"/science"},{"name":"Education","link":"/educationnews"},{"name":"Housing","link":"/housing"},{"name":"Immigration","link":"/immigration"},{"name":"Criminal Justice","link":"/criminaljustice"},{"name":"Silicon Valley","link":"/siliconvalley"},{"name":"Forum","link":"/forum"},{"name":"The California Report","link":"/californiareport"}]},{"key":"menu2","items":[{"name":"Arts & Culture","link":"/arts","type":"title"},{"name":"Critics’ Picks","link":"/thedolist"},{"name":"Cultural Commentary","link":"/artscommentary"},{"name":"Food & Drink","link":"/food"},{"name":"Bay Area Hip-Hop","link":"/bayareahiphop"},{"name":"Rebel Girls","link":"/rebelgirls"},{"name":"Arts Video","link":"/artsvideos"}]},{"key":"menu3","items":[{"name":"Podcasts","link":"/podcasts","type":"title"},{"name":"Bay Curious","link":"/podcasts/baycurious"},{"name":"Rightnowish","link":"/podcasts/rightnowish"},{"name":"The Bay","link":"/podcasts/thebay"},{"name":"On Our Watch","link":"/podcasts/onourwatch"},{"name":"Mindshift","link":"/podcasts/mindshift"},{"name":"Consider This","link":"/podcasts/considerthis"},{"name":"Political Breakdown","link":"/podcasts/politicalbreakdown"}]},{"key":"menu4","items":[{"name":"Live Radio","link":"/radio","type":"title"},{"name":"TV","link":"/tv","type":"title"},{"name":"Events","link":"/events","type":"title"},{"name":"For Educators","link":"/education","type":"title"},{"name":"Support KQED","link":"/support","type":"title"},{"name":"About","link":"/about","type":"title"},{"name":"Help Center","link":"https://kqed-helpcenter.kqed.org/s","type":"title"}]}]},"pagesReducer":{},"postsReducer":{"stream_live":{"type":"live","id":"stream_live","audioUrl":"https://streams.kqed.org/kqedradio","title":"Live Stream","excerpt":"Live Stream information currently unavailable.","link":"/radio","featImg":"","label":{"name":"KQED Live","link":"/"}},"stream_kqedNewscast":{"type":"posts","id":"stream_kqedNewscast","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/RDnews/newscast.mp3?_=1","title":"KQED Newscast","featImg":"","label":{"name":"88.5 FM","link":"/"}},"pop_105940":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_105940","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"105940","score":null,"sort":[1539090988000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-millennials-and-chrissy-teigen-are-tearing-up-the-rules","title":"How Millennials (and Chrissy Teigen) Are Tearing Up 'The Rules'","publishDate":1539090988,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>On a recent episode of \u003cem>Watch What Happens Live\u003c/em>, Real Housewife of Orange County \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/RHOC_KellyDodd\">Kelly Dodd\u003c/a> was asked if she slept with her current squeeze on the first night. \"No, not at all,\" she said quickly. \"We didn't at all.\" She was contradicted almost immediately by the man in question. \"Just a little bit,\" \u003ca href=\"https://www.linkedin.com/in/frank-acosta-30882917/\">Frank Acosta\u003c/a>, also a guest on the show, blushed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dodd's jaw dropped and she began vehemently denying it. It was left to third guest, Chrissy Teigen, to calm the madness. \"It's fine,\" she said casually. \"I closed the deal the first [night].\" Teigan then explained in more detail the first day she met (and had sex with) her husband, John Legend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=5&v=FT1YO-0VtRg\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The difference between 42-year-old Dodd and 32-year-old Teigen's approaches to discussing first-night sexual encounters represents a wider generational difference across America. And oh what a difference one decade makes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For many heterosexual American women who came of age in the '90s, like Dodd, there were literal rules to follow when it came to having sex with a new person. \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rules\">\u003cem>The Rules\u003c/em> by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider\u003c/a> came out in 1995 and gave single women an extraordinarily harsh set of behavioral restrictions to live by. Feminists were outspoken against the book at the time, and others suggested it was also insulting to men. \u003cem>The Rules\u003c/em> was still a smash hit that sold millions of copies and was translated into 27 languages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The book's 35 rules are reasonably astonishing to look back on now. Chapter titles include:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Don't Tell Him What to Do\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Be Easy to Live With\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>In 2001, \u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/world/2001/mar/27/gender.uk\">Katie Roiphe wrote in \u003cem>The Guardian\u003c/em>\u003c/a>: \"I have noticed \u003cem>The Rules\u003c/em> on all sorts of intelligent people's bookshelves... I have noticed smart women buying it and following its ethos… I have heard educated, liberal women talking about how long to wait before calling a man back, or whether the date should be in her neighbourhood, or how long to wait until sleeping with him, as if there is... some mathematical principle to romantic happiness that she has yet to divine... It is strange that the '50s courtship rituals our mothers fought so hard to get away from should come to be so appealing, so necessary, to a new generation.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No matter how crazy it seems now, \u003cem>The Rules\u003c/em> really did shape a generation of daters, and, in some corners at least, the old guard is still hanging on. \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.yourtango.com/201174240/8-modern-dating-rules-every-single-should-know\">Your Tango\u003c/a> \u003c/em>says, \"Don't go all the way. At least not until well after your first date.\" \u003ca href=\"https://www.meetmindful.com/modern-dating-rules/#\">\u003cem>Meet Mindful\u003c/em>\u003c/a> advises, \"Hold the sex.\" \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://thoughtcatalog.com/elizabeth-overstreet/2018/02/10-non-negotiable-rules-for-dating-smart-in-2018/\">Thought Catalog\u003c/a> \u003c/em>agrees, \"I advise my female clients to hold out at least past the first date. Give him a chance to get to know you outside the bedroom.\" \u003ca href=\"https://www.muscleandfitness.com/women/dating-advice/the-new-rules-of-dating\">\u003cem>Muscle & Fitness\u003c/em>\u003c/a> even offers some surreptitious slut-shaming: \"She says, 'Let's go to yours.' She means, 'You're sexy, but I probably won't return your calls after we've spent the night together.'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For the people who came of age in the new Millennium though, attitudes are wildly different. In a dating world dominated by apps, swiping, texting and sexting, \u003cem>The Rules\u003c/em> feels positively Dickensian. Multiple dating websites reflect this. \u003ca href=\"https://www.eharmony.com.au/dating-advice/blog/the-no-rules-rules-of-dating#Q5o3pgcVeA6Pr4rA.99\">Australian eHarmony\u003c/a> has stated outright that\u003cem> The Rules\u003c/em> was \"all about playing hard to get and manipulating to get what you want.\" Earlier this year, \u003ca href=\"https://uk.match.com/pages/advice/dating-guide/dating-advice/20-new-rules-dating-2018\">\u003cem>Match\u003c/em> UK also announced\u003c/a> that \"Waiting rules are dead and gone. The three-day rule? Don’t text immediately after an amazing date? These ancient games are history.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Women's publications back up that trend, including: \u003ca href=\"https://www.bustle.com/p/9-dating-rules-you-dont-have-to-follow-according-to-love-experts-10212970\">\u003cem>Bustle\u003c/em>\u003c/a> (\"Just as rules should be thrown out the window, so should 'scheduling' when you'll have sex for the first time\"), \u003ca href=\"https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/g2147/new-dating-rules-for-getting-guys/?slide=4\">\u003cem>Cosmopolitan\u003c/em>\u003c/a> (\"If it doesn't work out, it's not because you hooked up too soon\"), \u003ca href=\"https://shesaid.com/13-dating-rules-need-rethink-2018/\">\u003cem>She Said\u003c/em>\u003c/a> (\"Have sex whenever you damn well please\"), and the \u003ca href=\"https://nypost.com/2017/02/08/youre-doing-it-wrong-10-new-rules-for-dating/\">\u003cem>NY Post\u003c/em> \u003c/a>(\"Old rule: No sex until the third date. New rule: Test out the chemistry as soon as you feel like it.\") One man told \u003ca href=\"https://www.glamour.com/gallery/10-dating-rules-men-wish-you-would-break#2\">\u003cem>Glamour\u003c/em>\u003c/a>: \"If you like us, there is no reason to hold back. If you don't like us, don't sleep with us. When you know, you know.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There has been such a swift turn around in societal attitudes that the two different schools of thought sometimes find themselves clashing in ways far more dramatic than we saw on \u003cem>Watch What Happens Live\u003c/em>. One episode of \u003cem>The Doctors\u003c/em> last year proved how contentious things could get, when two male panelists fundamentally and passionately disagreed on the topic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPsOpqpMrwo\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the end, it's pretty obvious which side of this argument is going to win out eventually. Not only does Teigen's successful relationship offer concrete proof that the old rules are nonsense, but Kelly Dodd also relaxed immediately and visibly as soon as Teigen nonchalantly made her first-night admission.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Truthfully, as much as its influence remains, \u003cem>The Rules\u003c/em> came during the last gasp of pre-internet living and, arguably, was probably the last time such unreasonable restrictions could be willingly adopted by so many women. We're still seeing them because old habits die hard and sex-shame is hard to shake off once it's been ingrained. But the internet and rule-free modern dating have made these kinds of vacuums much harder to maintain, and women much harder to control—and that can be nothing but a good thing.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"'The Rules' may have dominated dating in the 1990s, but in 2018, no rules is the only rule. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1539111526,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":14,"wordCount":1000},"headData":{"title":"How Millennials (and Chrissy Teigen) Are Tearing Up 'The Rules' | KQED","description":"'The Rules' may have dominated dating in the 1990s, but in 2018, no rules is the only rule. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"105940 https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/?p=105940","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2018/10/09/how-millennials-and-chrissy-teigen-are-tearing-up-the-rules/","disqusTitle":"How Millennials (and Chrissy Teigen) Are Tearing Up 'The Rules'","path":"/pop/105940/how-millennials-and-chrissy-teigen-are-tearing-up-the-rules","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>On a recent episode of \u003cem>Watch What Happens Live\u003c/em>, Real Housewife of Orange County \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/RHOC_KellyDodd\">Kelly Dodd\u003c/a> was asked if she slept with her current squeeze on the first night. \"No, not at all,\" she said quickly. \"We didn't at all.\" She was contradicted almost immediately by the man in question. \"Just a little bit,\" \u003ca href=\"https://www.linkedin.com/in/frank-acosta-30882917/\">Frank Acosta\u003c/a>, also a guest on the show, blushed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dodd's jaw dropped and she began vehemently denying it. It was left to third guest, Chrissy Teigen, to calm the madness. \"It's fine,\" she said casually. \"I closed the deal the first [night].\" Teigan then explained in more detail the first day she met (and had sex with) her husband, John Legend.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/FT1YO-0VtRg'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/FT1YO-0VtRg'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>The difference between 42-year-old Dodd and 32-year-old Teigen's approaches to discussing first-night sexual encounters represents a wider generational difference across America. And oh what a difference one decade makes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For many heterosexual American women who came of age in the '90s, like Dodd, there were literal rules to follow when it came to having sex with a new person. \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rules\">\u003cem>The Rules\u003c/em> by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider\u003c/a> came out in 1995 and gave single women an extraordinarily harsh set of behavioral restrictions to live by. Feminists were outspoken against the book at the time, and others suggested it was also insulting to men. \u003cem>The Rules\u003c/em> was still a smash hit that sold millions of copies and was translated into 27 languages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The book's 35 rules are reasonably astonishing to look back on now. Chapter titles include:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Don't Tell Him What to Do\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Be Easy to Live With\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>In 2001, \u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/world/2001/mar/27/gender.uk\">Katie Roiphe wrote in \u003cem>The Guardian\u003c/em>\u003c/a>: \"I have noticed \u003cem>The Rules\u003c/em> on all sorts of intelligent people's bookshelves... I have noticed smart women buying it and following its ethos… I have heard educated, liberal women talking about how long to wait before calling a man back, or whether the date should be in her neighbourhood, or how long to wait until sleeping with him, as if there is... some mathematical principle to romantic happiness that she has yet to divine... It is strange that the '50s courtship rituals our mothers fought so hard to get away from should come to be so appealing, so necessary, to a new generation.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No matter how crazy it seems now, \u003cem>The Rules\u003c/em> really did shape a generation of daters, and, in some corners at least, the old guard is still hanging on. \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.yourtango.com/201174240/8-modern-dating-rules-every-single-should-know\">Your Tango\u003c/a> \u003c/em>says, \"Don't go all the way. At least not until well after your first date.\" \u003ca href=\"https://www.meetmindful.com/modern-dating-rules/#\">\u003cem>Meet Mindful\u003c/em>\u003c/a> advises, \"Hold the sex.\" \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://thoughtcatalog.com/elizabeth-overstreet/2018/02/10-non-negotiable-rules-for-dating-smart-in-2018/\">Thought Catalog\u003c/a> \u003c/em>agrees, \"I advise my female clients to hold out at least past the first date. Give him a chance to get to know you outside the bedroom.\" \u003ca href=\"https://www.muscleandfitness.com/women/dating-advice/the-new-rules-of-dating\">\u003cem>Muscle & Fitness\u003c/em>\u003c/a> even offers some surreptitious slut-shaming: \"She says, 'Let's go to yours.' She means, 'You're sexy, but I probably won't return your calls after we've spent the night together.'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For the people who came of age in the new Millennium though, attitudes are wildly different. In a dating world dominated by apps, swiping, texting and sexting, \u003cem>The Rules\u003c/em> feels positively Dickensian. Multiple dating websites reflect this. \u003ca href=\"https://www.eharmony.com.au/dating-advice/blog/the-no-rules-rules-of-dating#Q5o3pgcVeA6Pr4rA.99\">Australian eHarmony\u003c/a> has stated outright that\u003cem> The Rules\u003c/em> was \"all about playing hard to get and manipulating to get what you want.\" Earlier this year, \u003ca href=\"https://uk.match.com/pages/advice/dating-guide/dating-advice/20-new-rules-dating-2018\">\u003cem>Match\u003c/em> UK also announced\u003c/a> that \"Waiting rules are dead and gone. The three-day rule? Don’t text immediately after an amazing date? These ancient games are history.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Women's publications back up that trend, including: \u003ca href=\"https://www.bustle.com/p/9-dating-rules-you-dont-have-to-follow-according-to-love-experts-10212970\">\u003cem>Bustle\u003c/em>\u003c/a> (\"Just as rules should be thrown out the window, so should 'scheduling' when you'll have sex for the first time\"), \u003ca href=\"https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/g2147/new-dating-rules-for-getting-guys/?slide=4\">\u003cem>Cosmopolitan\u003c/em>\u003c/a> (\"If it doesn't work out, it's not because you hooked up too soon\"), \u003ca href=\"https://shesaid.com/13-dating-rules-need-rethink-2018/\">\u003cem>She Said\u003c/em>\u003c/a> (\"Have sex whenever you damn well please\"), and the \u003ca href=\"https://nypost.com/2017/02/08/youre-doing-it-wrong-10-new-rules-for-dating/\">\u003cem>NY Post\u003c/em> \u003c/a>(\"Old rule: No sex until the third date. New rule: Test out the chemistry as soon as you feel like it.\") One man told \u003ca href=\"https://www.glamour.com/gallery/10-dating-rules-men-wish-you-would-break#2\">\u003cem>Glamour\u003c/em>\u003c/a>: \"If you like us, there is no reason to hold back. If you don't like us, don't sleep with us. When you know, you know.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There has been such a swift turn around in societal attitudes that the two different schools of thought sometimes find themselves clashing in ways far more dramatic than we saw on \u003cem>Watch What Happens Live\u003c/em>. One episode of \u003cem>The Doctors\u003c/em> last year proved how contentious things could get, when two male panelists fundamentally and passionately disagreed on the topic.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/EPsOpqpMrwo'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/EPsOpqpMrwo'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>In the end, it's pretty obvious which side of this argument is going to win out eventually. Not only does Teigen's successful relationship offer concrete proof that the old rules are nonsense, but Kelly Dodd also relaxed immediately and visibly as soon as Teigen nonchalantly made her first-night admission.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Truthfully, as much as its influence remains, \u003cem>The Rules\u003c/em> came during the last gasp of pre-internet living and, arguably, was probably the last time such unreasonable restrictions could be willingly adopted by so many women. We're still seeing them because old habits die hard and sex-shame is hard to shake off once it's been ingrained. But the internet and rule-free modern dating have made these kinds of vacuums much harder to maintain, and women much harder to control—and that can be nothing but a good thing.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/105940/how-millennials-and-chrissy-teigen-are-tearing-up-the-rules","authors":["11242"],"categories":["pop_1041"],"tags":["pop_3014","pop_159","pop_3056","pop_160"],"featImg":"pop_105972","label":"pop"},"pop_25107":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_25107","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"25107","score":null,"sort":[1464706879000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"want-to-text-back-and-forth-with-a-made-up-significant-other-try-invisible-boyfriend-girlfriend","title":"Want to Text Back and Forth with a Made-Up Significant Other? Try Invisible Boyfriend / Girlfriend","publishDate":1464706879,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>Do you ever find yourself alone on a Saturday night, watching Netflix and scarfing down a bunch of snacks, while compulsively checking your phone, desperate for a text from some cutie you’ve been pining away for? Do you wish you had a boyfriend or girlfriend who’d text you consistently and ask about your day? Well, there’s an app for that, and I don’t mean Tinder.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://invisibleboyfriend.com/\">Invisible Boyfriend\u003c/a>/\u003ca href=\"https://invisiblegirlfriend.com/\">Girlfriend\u003c/a> offers users the opportunity to choose a name and “selfie” for a fake significant other—the pictures are of real human beings—then select a personality for their imaginary love, such as “sweet and shy” or “saucy and sarcastic.” The minimum rate is $14.99 to exchange 100 texts, or you can pay $24.99 for 200 messages and one “note.” \u003ca href=\"http://www.techtimes.com/articles/27915/20150121/meet-invisible-boyfriend-a-k-a-the-worlds-saddest-dating-app.htm\">\u003cem>Techtimes\u003c/em>\u003c/a> has called Invisible Boyfriend “the saddest dating app.\" But CEO and co-founder Kyle Tabor claims, “Our users are simply looking for someone to talk to… Our users just want an empathetic ear to listen to them about the mundane parts of their day. They want to be able to let their guard down and be themselves without fear of judgment.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The concept of paying for intimacy is nothing new. The difference is the involvement of more advanced technology and the absence of sexual fulfillment. (Sexting your invisible boyfriend or girlfriend is a no-no).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fans of the futuristic-dystopian Netflix series \u003ca href=\"https://www.netflix.com/title/70264888\">\u003cem>Black Mirror\u003c/em>\u003c/a> might remember the episode in which a grief stricken widow signs up for an AI service that offers texts and phone calls from an electronic amalgamation of her dead husband. The virtual husband is eventually upgraded to a fully-formed bot made in the deceased’s likeness. The romance, however, reaches an inevitable point of decline because the artificial husband lacks the one true element that would make him believably human: free will.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the case of Invisible Boyfriend/Girlfriend, falling in love with one’s pseudo beau also proves problematic. The company doesn’t recommend developing feelings for your custom-designed partner, who is powered by a team of writers. Tabor comments, “A few [users] have asked if they could meet their partner in real life. Unfortunately that isn’t really possible because we use different writers so we can provide a seamless service around the clock.” Clients who seek to contact the writer behind the texts may either not realize more than one person is acting as their significant other, or perhaps are having trouble distinguishing between the illusion of connection and the reality of a paid service. Either way, they are destined for disappointment of \u003ca href=\"http://www.herthemovie.com/#/home\">\u003cem>Her\u003c/em>\u003c/a>-like proportions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So far, 200,000 significant others have been generated since the app’s inception. It’s possible that some users are looking to fake a relationship for reasons outside of companionship, such as warding off prying, match-making aunties at a family wedding, but the app markets itself as a means of exploring “a relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend but without all the baggage that comes with dating.” In this way, you avoid the pitfalls of popular dating apps.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“With Tinder,” Tabor says, “people are typically looking to hook up. Our users are tired of the dating game, and are sick of always trying to impress someone else. We are the opposite of Tinder or other dating apps. You can have a human connection, but without the baggage that comes with dating. Several users have joined online dating services because our service has taught them what a healthy relationship can be like.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The word “baggage” comes up repeatedly in Invisible Boyfriend/Girlfriend’s selling points, as if the lack of luggage is what makes an imaginary human a viable replacement for a real one. Nevertheless, it’s possible Invisible Boyfriend/Girlfriend’s users end up going back to dating sites, not because the app has taught them how to manage a good relationship or how to handle conflict and set boundaries, but because there is something deeply unsatisfying about paying people to text you, even if those texts still give you the same dopamine rush as the ones you get for free. Minus the dick pics, of course.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Need to fake a relationship? Want to have a breakdown over a fake person like in 'Her'? There's an app for that.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1464393318,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":10,"wordCount":738},"headData":{"title":"Want to Text Back and Forth with a Made-Up Significant Other? Try Invisible Boyfriend / Girlfriend | KQED","description":"Need to fake a relationship? Want to have a breakdown over a fake person like in 'Her'? There's an app for that.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"25107 http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/?p=25107","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/05/31/want-to-text-back-and-forth-with-a-made-up-significant-other-try-invisible-boyfriend-girlfriend/","disqusTitle":"Want to Text Back and Forth with a Made-Up Significant Other? Try Invisible Boyfriend / Girlfriend","nprByline":"Lindsay Merbaum","path":"/pop/25107/want-to-text-back-and-forth-with-a-made-up-significant-other-try-invisible-boyfriend-girlfriend","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Do you ever find yourself alone on a Saturday night, watching Netflix and scarfing down a bunch of snacks, while compulsively checking your phone, desperate for a text from some cutie you’ve been pining away for? Do you wish you had a boyfriend or girlfriend who’d text you consistently and ask about your day? Well, there’s an app for that, and I don’t mean Tinder.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://invisibleboyfriend.com/\">Invisible Boyfriend\u003c/a>/\u003ca href=\"https://invisiblegirlfriend.com/\">Girlfriend\u003c/a> offers users the opportunity to choose a name and “selfie” for a fake significant other—the pictures are of real human beings—then select a personality for their imaginary love, such as “sweet and shy” or “saucy and sarcastic.” The minimum rate is $14.99 to exchange 100 texts, or you can pay $24.99 for 200 messages and one “note.” \u003ca href=\"http://www.techtimes.com/articles/27915/20150121/meet-invisible-boyfriend-a-k-a-the-worlds-saddest-dating-app.htm\">\u003cem>Techtimes\u003c/em>\u003c/a> has called Invisible Boyfriend “the saddest dating app.\" But CEO and co-founder Kyle Tabor claims, “Our users are simply looking for someone to talk to… Our users just want an empathetic ear to listen to them about the mundane parts of their day. They want to be able to let their guard down and be themselves without fear of judgment.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The concept of paying for intimacy is nothing new. The difference is the involvement of more advanced technology and the absence of sexual fulfillment. (Sexting your invisible boyfriend or girlfriend is a no-no).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fans of the futuristic-dystopian Netflix series \u003ca href=\"https://www.netflix.com/title/70264888\">\u003cem>Black Mirror\u003c/em>\u003c/a> might remember the episode in which a grief stricken widow signs up for an AI service that offers texts and phone calls from an electronic amalgamation of her dead husband. The virtual husband is eventually upgraded to a fully-formed bot made in the deceased’s likeness. The romance, however, reaches an inevitable point of decline because the artificial husband lacks the one true element that would make him believably human: free will.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the case of Invisible Boyfriend/Girlfriend, falling in love with one’s pseudo beau also proves problematic. The company doesn’t recommend developing feelings for your custom-designed partner, who is powered by a team of writers. Tabor comments, “A few [users] have asked if they could meet their partner in real life. Unfortunately that isn’t really possible because we use different writers so we can provide a seamless service around the clock.” Clients who seek to contact the writer behind the texts may either not realize more than one person is acting as their significant other, or perhaps are having trouble distinguishing between the illusion of connection and the reality of a paid service. Either way, they are destined for disappointment of \u003ca href=\"http://www.herthemovie.com/#/home\">\u003cem>Her\u003c/em>\u003c/a>-like proportions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So far, 200,000 significant others have been generated since the app’s inception. It’s possible that some users are looking to fake a relationship for reasons outside of companionship, such as warding off prying, match-making aunties at a family wedding, but the app markets itself as a means of exploring “a relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend but without all the baggage that comes with dating.” In this way, you avoid the pitfalls of popular dating apps.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“With Tinder,” Tabor says, “people are typically looking to hook up. Our users are tired of the dating game, and are sick of always trying to impress someone else. We are the opposite of Tinder or other dating apps. You can have a human connection, but without the baggage that comes with dating. Several users have joined online dating services because our service has taught them what a healthy relationship can be like.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The word “baggage” comes up repeatedly in Invisible Boyfriend/Girlfriend’s selling points, as if the lack of luggage is what makes an imaginary human a viable replacement for a real one. Nevertheless, it’s possible Invisible Boyfriend/Girlfriend’s users end up going back to dating sites, not because the app has taught them how to manage a good relationship or how to handle conflict and set boundaries, but because there is something deeply unsatisfying about paying people to text you, even if those texts still give you the same dopamine rush as the ones you get for free. Minus the dick pics, of course.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/25107/want-to-text-back-and-forth-with-a-made-up-significant-other-try-invisible-boyfriend-girlfriend","authors":["byline_pop_25107"],"categories":["pop_1155"],"tags":["pop_1068","pop_159","pop_160"],"featImg":"pop_25109","label":"pop"},"pop_7392":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_7392","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"7392","score":null,"sort":[1375815549000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax","title":"Hooked on Catfish: The Addictive Lure of the Internet Romance Hoax","publishDate":1375815549,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Spoiler alert: This piece contains spoilers about the movie \u003cem>Catfish \u003c/em>and also \u003cem>Catfish: The TV Show\u003c/em>. Read at your own risk!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7393\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 200px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/06/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax/catfishlogo/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7393\">\u003cimg class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-7393\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/catfishlogo-200x200.jpg\" alt=\"Image via MTV.com\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Image via MTV.com\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>In the early days of the internet, when AOL start-up CDs arrived in the mail with regularity, we were all too aware of the dangers of online strangers. Even in those old AOL chat room when someone asked, \"\u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=a%2Fs%2Fl\" target=\"_blank\">A/S/L\u003c/a>?,\" one could never truly trust the results. But as time marched on and people loosened up, we all began routinely engaging with strangers. By now I think it's safe to say that it's not even a little bit weird to meet people online and then have them in your reality. We all love the internet, and we use to not just to read the news and watch YouTube, but to find true love. For some, that means braving the muddy waters of OkCupid or eHarmony, for others it means joining an online gaming community or message board or whatever. It seems like we're all alone, behind our computers, reaching out for attention.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2010, Nev Schulman was the subject of the documentary, \u003cem>Catfish\u003c/em>. The film followed Nev as he uncovered the sad, ugly truth behind his online love, Megan, who turns out to be Angela, a middle-aged wife and mother in rural Michigan living a tough life. It's gut-wrenching to watch as Nev confronts Angela to get answers on why she lied, gut-wrenching and absolutely fascinating. After the docudrama was released, Nev allegedly began receiving emails from other kids in his predicament, all asking him to help them discover the truth about their online romances. MTV saw dollar signs and \u003cem>Catfish: The TV Show \u003c/em>was born.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 300px\">\u003cimg src=\"http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/73/Catfish_film.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"444\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Theatrical release poster for Catfish. Image via Wikipedia.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>I caught a commercial for \u003cem>Catfish: The TV Show\u003c/em> sometime before Thanksgiving in 2012 and was immediately obsessed. Captivated by the motivation of the \"catfishes,\" I consumed every episode of the first season with zeal. Each episode revealed another incredible (or ridiculous) circumstance where someone had fallen in love online but were really being scammed by a liar. The most unique example of this is the guy in the south who thought the woman he was talking to was trans-- he revealed to his friend that he was cool with it and planned to continue a relationship with her and when she turned out to be a woman he was stunned and forced to face his sexuality head on. It was a real nail biter. It was also really, well, uncomfortable. It's hard to imagine there are so many unique cases of intense, romantic relationships where the people have never met or seen each other in real life. It's harder still to watch someone's heart break on television when they realize they've been had. The reasons people gave for catfishing varied. Unfortunately, many of them had to do with physical appearance, specifically weight issues, or people just \u003cem>wanting\u003c/em> to mess with someone. Sometimes people catfished their own friend, just because they were too shy or scared to be honest about their feelings. All the while, host Nev Schulman and his filmmaker friend Max Joseph are standing by, dishing out Dr. Drew-style advice with hipster-chic intonation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7394\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 281px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/06/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax/therapy/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7394\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-7394\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/therapy.jpeg\" alt=\"Nev dishes out advice. Image via MTV.com\" width=\"281\" height=\"179\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Nev dishes out advice. Image via MTV.com\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>It freaked me out. It was like watching a weird dating show but it was also like couples therapy. I could not look away. When \u003ca href=\"http://deadspin.com/manti-teos-dead-girlfriend-the-most-heartbreaking-an-5976517\" target=\"_blank\">the Manti Te'o faux girlfriend scandal hit the news\u003c/a>, I felt vindicated. \"See?!\" I told my friends. \"This does really happen!\" I was flabbergasted, though that may be because I'm lazy. I mean, two cell phones (and two cell phone bills), multiple Facebook profiles and personas, infinite status updates, juggling text messages, and those long, long nightly phone calls? That seems exhausting. Anywho, the show challenged audiences with some serious questions, both moral and practical. Is it smart to trust those you meet online? Is it okay to lie to someone you met online? And are there any exceptions in either case?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Though the circumstances varied, the end of each episode of Season One had something in common: the catfish acknowledged what they had done and expressed remorse for hurting the other person so deeply. In most cases the apology wasn't enough to save the romance or even form a friendship but the gesture was comforting and appropriate. It worried me how easy it had been for these people to trick the innocent. It was so exploitative and unkind, but I secretly enjoyed the brief journey into the mind of a bully (or a coward, whatever). I also appreciated the fact that this was happening far away from me, in places like Mississippi and Maryland, not in San Francisco.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Season Two began a few months back and of course I tuned in. I had hoped that it would get even more crazy the second time around but unfortunately, Season One's popularity seems to have poisoned the well a little. In Season Two, each time Nev and Max call the catfish, the person on the other end of the phone is well aware of the show and who they are. From go, Season Two felt less authentic, that is until last week's episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7395\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 264px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/06/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax/nevmax/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7395\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-7395\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/nevmax.jpeg\" alt=\"Nev and Max doing some research. Image via MTV.com\" width=\"264\" height=\"168\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Nev and Max doing some research. Image via MTV.com\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Last week Nev and Max met a really sweet girl from Iowa named Jennifer. She'd been bullied throughout her adolescence (likely because she was more interesting than her classmates) and used online gaming communities and message boards to find friends all over the world. The internet has served her well so far, so it did seem odd to her that her online friend Skylar, a computer tech student at SF State, refused to video chat with her. Jen starts college at the end of the summer and has really been coming into her own lately. As part of that, she wants to know who she is talking to before she allows her feelings to get too invested romantically. Skylar and Jen talk almost every day and their texts read like a cheesy modern romance novel. She does not come off as naive or stupid, just a nice kid looking for a friend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7397\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 274px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/06/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax/jenhears/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7397\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-7397 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/jenhears.jpeg\" alt=\"Jen getting the news that Skylar is phony. Image via MTV.com\" width=\"274\" height=\"184\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jen getting the news that Skylar is phony. Image via MTV.com\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>It takes Nev and Max 10 minutes to discover that Skylar is not who he says he is. They call him on the phone and though he initially resists, Skylar agrees to meet Jen in San Francisco saying he \u003cem>really\u003c/em> wants to meet her in person. It's not shocking that Skylar turns out to be Bryan, an SF State student whose major I didn't catch. It is shocking that Bryan is not the least bit apologetic for the hoax. In fact, he told Max that he had been giving Jen a gift by leading her on and making her feel appreciated. There wasn't much left to say after that. For the first time in my \u003cem>Catfish\u003c/em> viewing history, the catfish-er admitted to having absolutely no emotional or romantic feelings for the catfishee. It was just entertainment for him. He claims he's done it to lots of girls, to \"brush up on his game.\" Personally, I still thinks he needs some work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7396\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 270px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/06/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax/skylar1/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7396\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-7396 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/Skylar1-300x168.gif\" alt=\"Bryan reveals himself to Jen in SF\" width=\"270\" height=\"151\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bryan reveals himself to Jen in SF\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>That one stung. That episode proved that not only are these people real, they live among us. And with that I deleted my Tinder app, canceled eHarmony and unfriended all strangers. I'm not taking any chances with that kind of humiliation and heartbreak, I'll stick to real life for that mess. Even though it will inevitably be tough to maintain the authenticity and emotion of it's first season, I'll remain loyal to \u003cem>Catfish: the TV Show\u003c/em>. Please don't judge me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Catfish: The TV Show\u003c/em> airs \u003ca href=\"http://www.mtv.com/shows/catfish/series.jhtml\" target=\"_blank\">Tuesdays at 10pm on MTV\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"How an MTV reality show made the internet more scary. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1382053854,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":13,"wordCount":1350},"headData":{"title":"Hooked on Catfish: The Addictive Lure of the Internet Romance Hoax | KQED","description":"How an MTV reality show made the internet more scary. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"7392 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=7392","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/06/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax/","disqusTitle":"Hooked on Catfish: The Addictive Lure of the Internet Romance Hoax","path":"/pop/7392/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Spoiler alert: This piece contains spoilers about the movie \u003cem>Catfish \u003c/em>and also \u003cem>Catfish: The TV Show\u003c/em>. Read at your own risk!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7393\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 200px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/06/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax/catfishlogo/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7393\">\u003cimg class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-7393\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/catfishlogo-200x200.jpg\" alt=\"Image via MTV.com\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Image via MTV.com\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>In the early days of the internet, when AOL start-up CDs arrived in the mail with regularity, we were all too aware of the dangers of online strangers. Even in those old AOL chat room when someone asked, \"\u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=a%2Fs%2Fl\" target=\"_blank\">A/S/L\u003c/a>?,\" one could never truly trust the results. But as time marched on and people loosened up, we all began routinely engaging with strangers. By now I think it's safe to say that it's not even a little bit weird to meet people online and then have them in your reality. We all love the internet, and we use to not just to read the news and watch YouTube, but to find true love. For some, that means braving the muddy waters of OkCupid or eHarmony, for others it means joining an online gaming community or message board or whatever. It seems like we're all alone, behind our computers, reaching out for attention.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2010, Nev Schulman was the subject of the documentary, \u003cem>Catfish\u003c/em>. The film followed Nev as he uncovered the sad, ugly truth behind his online love, Megan, who turns out to be Angela, a middle-aged wife and mother in rural Michigan living a tough life. It's gut-wrenching to watch as Nev confronts Angela to get answers on why she lied, gut-wrenching and absolutely fascinating. After the docudrama was released, Nev allegedly began receiving emails from other kids in his predicament, all asking him to help them discover the truth about their online romances. MTV saw dollar signs and \u003cem>Catfish: The TV Show \u003c/em>was born.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 300px\">\u003cimg src=\"http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/73/Catfish_film.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"444\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Theatrical release poster for Catfish. Image via Wikipedia.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>I caught a commercial for \u003cem>Catfish: The TV Show\u003c/em> sometime before Thanksgiving in 2012 and was immediately obsessed. Captivated by the motivation of the \"catfishes,\" I consumed every episode of the first season with zeal. Each episode revealed another incredible (or ridiculous) circumstance where someone had fallen in love online but were really being scammed by a liar. The most unique example of this is the guy in the south who thought the woman he was talking to was trans-- he revealed to his friend that he was cool with it and planned to continue a relationship with her and when she turned out to be a woman he was stunned and forced to face his sexuality head on. It was a real nail biter. It was also really, well, uncomfortable. It's hard to imagine there are so many unique cases of intense, romantic relationships where the people have never met or seen each other in real life. It's harder still to watch someone's heart break on television when they realize they've been had. The reasons people gave for catfishing varied. Unfortunately, many of them had to do with physical appearance, specifically weight issues, or people just \u003cem>wanting\u003c/em> to mess with someone. Sometimes people catfished their own friend, just because they were too shy or scared to be honest about their feelings. All the while, host Nev Schulman and his filmmaker friend Max Joseph are standing by, dishing out Dr. Drew-style advice with hipster-chic intonation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7394\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 281px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/06/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax/therapy/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7394\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-7394\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/therapy.jpeg\" alt=\"Nev dishes out advice. Image via MTV.com\" width=\"281\" height=\"179\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Nev dishes out advice. Image via MTV.com\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>It freaked me out. It was like watching a weird dating show but it was also like couples therapy. I could not look away. When \u003ca href=\"http://deadspin.com/manti-teos-dead-girlfriend-the-most-heartbreaking-an-5976517\" target=\"_blank\">the Manti Te'o faux girlfriend scandal hit the news\u003c/a>, I felt vindicated. \"See?!\" I told my friends. \"This does really happen!\" I was flabbergasted, though that may be because I'm lazy. I mean, two cell phones (and two cell phone bills), multiple Facebook profiles and personas, infinite status updates, juggling text messages, and those long, long nightly phone calls? That seems exhausting. Anywho, the show challenged audiences with some serious questions, both moral and practical. Is it smart to trust those you meet online? Is it okay to lie to someone you met online? And are there any exceptions in either case?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Though the circumstances varied, the end of each episode of Season One had something in common: the catfish acknowledged what they had done and expressed remorse for hurting the other person so deeply. In most cases the apology wasn't enough to save the romance or even form a friendship but the gesture was comforting and appropriate. It worried me how easy it had been for these people to trick the innocent. It was so exploitative and unkind, but I secretly enjoyed the brief journey into the mind of a bully (or a coward, whatever). I also appreciated the fact that this was happening far away from me, in places like Mississippi and Maryland, not in San Francisco.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Season Two began a few months back and of course I tuned in. I had hoped that it would get even more crazy the second time around but unfortunately, Season One's popularity seems to have poisoned the well a little. In Season Two, each time Nev and Max call the catfish, the person on the other end of the phone is well aware of the show and who they are. From go, Season Two felt less authentic, that is until last week's episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7395\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 264px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/06/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax/nevmax/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7395\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-7395\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/nevmax.jpeg\" alt=\"Nev and Max doing some research. Image via MTV.com\" width=\"264\" height=\"168\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Nev and Max doing some research. Image via MTV.com\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Last week Nev and Max met a really sweet girl from Iowa named Jennifer. She'd been bullied throughout her adolescence (likely because she was more interesting than her classmates) and used online gaming communities and message boards to find friends all over the world. The internet has served her well so far, so it did seem odd to her that her online friend Skylar, a computer tech student at SF State, refused to video chat with her. Jen starts college at the end of the summer and has really been coming into her own lately. As part of that, she wants to know who she is talking to before she allows her feelings to get too invested romantically. Skylar and Jen talk almost every day and their texts read like a cheesy modern romance novel. She does not come off as naive or stupid, just a nice kid looking for a friend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7397\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 274px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/06/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax/jenhears/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7397\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-7397 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/jenhears.jpeg\" alt=\"Jen getting the news that Skylar is phony. Image via MTV.com\" width=\"274\" height=\"184\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jen getting the news that Skylar is phony. Image via MTV.com\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>It takes Nev and Max 10 minutes to discover that Skylar is not who he says he is. They call him on the phone and though he initially resists, Skylar agrees to meet Jen in San Francisco saying he \u003cem>really\u003c/em> wants to meet her in person. It's not shocking that Skylar turns out to be Bryan, an SF State student whose major I didn't catch. It is shocking that Bryan is not the least bit apologetic for the hoax. In fact, he told Max that he had been giving Jen a gift by leading her on and making her feel appreciated. There wasn't much left to say after that. For the first time in my \u003cem>Catfish\u003c/em> viewing history, the catfish-er admitted to having absolutely no emotional or romantic feelings for the catfishee. It was just entertainment for him. He claims he's done it to lots of girls, to \"brush up on his game.\" Personally, I still thinks he needs some work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7396\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 270px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/06/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax/skylar1/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7396\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-7396 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/Skylar1-300x168.gif\" alt=\"Bryan reveals himself to Jen in SF\" width=\"270\" height=\"151\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bryan reveals himself to Jen in SF\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>That one stung. That episode proved that not only are these people real, they live among us. And with that I deleted my Tinder app, canceled eHarmony and unfriended all strangers. I'm not taking any chances with that kind of humiliation and heartbreak, I'll stick to real life for that mess. Even though it will inevitably be tough to maintain the authenticity and emotion of it's first season, I'll remain loyal to \u003cem>Catfish: the TV Show\u003c/em>. Please don't judge me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Catfish: The TV Show\u003c/em> airs \u003ca href=\"http://www.mtv.com/shows/catfish/series.jhtml\" target=\"_blank\">Tuesdays at 10pm on MTV\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/7392/hooked-on-catfish-the-addictive-lure-of-the-internet-romance-hoax","authors":["2438"],"categories":["pop_5","pop_3","pop_1041"],"tags":["pop_1090","pop_1091","pop_52","pop_160"],"featImg":"pop_7400","label":"pop"},"pop_1206":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_1206","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"1206","score":null,"sort":[1360708148000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"8-things-to-know-before-you-start-dating-online","title":"8 Important Things to Know Before You Start Dating Online","publishDate":1360708148,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>Conversation hearts and chocolate samplers fill the grocery aisles, your inbox is filled with coupon deals for roses and romantic dates, and your grandmother has yet again asked if you have a \"special friend.\" Dan Slater, author of \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Love-Time-Algorithms-Technology-Meeting/dp/1591845319\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Love in the Time of Algorithms\u003c/a> \u003c/em>visited \u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/a/forum/R201302061000\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">KQED's Forum\u003c/a> to discuss the world of online dating and how it is changing our relationships. Here are some highlights from that show that we hope will help you make sense of the online dating scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Online Dating is Still Dating (Read: Awkward)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Online dating gets so much buzz, you might get the impression that once you post a profile you will be flooded with hundreds of potential partners and that meeting them will be void of stress and awkward moments. You are wrong.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Technology can be a very useful tool, but it's not a cure-all, it's not a panacea for everyone's relationship ills, and I think that often times people approach it with very high expectations; they expect to be able to hit a button and their soul mate pops up, but, you know, it takes a little more work than that.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Don't Invest Too Much Time Before Meeting in Person\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A listener named Anna, who met her husband online, called into the show and offered this advice: \"Read a little bit, send [potential dates] a message, and meet for coffee for a half an hour.\" Anna said that setting limits takes a lot of the fear away because \"you're not investing as much\" in any one profile.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Limiting interaction before you meet someone in person also ensures that you won't steal all of the magic away from that first meeting—something that Slater said a lot of the people he interviewed for his book felt was lacking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's a sense of discovery that is lost in the online process,\" said a caller named Jennifer. \"You read [someone's] entire life story on their summaries about who they are, what they're looking for. The authenticity of that first meeting—the mystery is kind of lost for me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Decide if the Story of How You Met is Important to You\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"People put a lot of stock in the meeting story,\" said Slater. \"If you go to a cocktail party and talk to couples, often times the conversation will go to how they met, and if you don't have that fun story to tell, maybe, for some people, it feels like they've been deprived of something.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before venturing online, figure out if the idea of a serendipitous meeting, however mundane is \"preferable to what [can feel like] an overly structured way of meeting online.\" Because if you can't imagine telling your grandmother that you met your \"special friend\" on \u003ca href=\"http://www.match.com/\">Match.com\u003c/a>, and the thought of lying makes you cringe, you might want to stick to the old-fashioned way of meeting someone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. The Claims on Long Term Compatibility Aren't Proven\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's a fair amount of debate, both within the industry itself and outside of the industry, as to what these algorithms [used by online dating sites] actually do,\" said Slater \"and can they actually predict anything, or is it all just a bunch of smoke?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Slater specifically questioned \u003ca href=\"http://www.eharmony.com/\">eHarmony\u003c/a>'s claim that it can \"predict whether or not a couple of strangers—a man and woman who have never met—can be happy together.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The evidence may be a bit weak,\" said Slater. He cited a study that found social scientists can predict the long term compatibility of a couple that's already together with a fair amount of accuracy, but that predicting how two complete strangers will stand the test of time is something entirely different.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"No one has shown an ability to do that with strangers because before two people have come together, there are so many things you don't know about them,\" said Slater. \"You don't know how they're going to handle stress together. So right now, what seems to be the case is that dating sites are getting better and better at predicting whether two people will hit it off on a first date. And that, in my mind, is a pretty amazing innovation.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Expect Some Untruths\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's a little bit of lying everywhere,\" said Slater. \"If you meet someone offline, there's going to be a little bit of lying that takes place. I think the online world obviously makes it a bit easier to kind of fudge your stats: men will tend to add a couple inches to their height, women will tend to shave a few pounds off their weight.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>6. Casual Sex is Not Just for Men\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A listener named Joseph shared this perspective:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I joined [an online dating site] in 2003 and I was looking for love, and what I discovered is that an amazing number of women would come straight over to my house for the first date; I mean, it became like ordering take-out. And of course I was absolutely delighted with the experience, and also really shocked about it… If I told you the number of women who would just come straight over to my house for sex—no date, no coffee, thirty minutes, it's happening—you would find it hard to believe.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Slater says that online dating might expose the theory that only men want casual sex as just that—a theory.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We don't know at this point whether men do, in fact, pursue more short-term sex than women. Certainly the stereotype and belief all along has been that men are sort of biologically wired to pursue more short-term sex—I don't believe that's the case and I believe that online dating is starting to expose a little bit of that lie.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>7. Don't Pay Too Much Attention to Photos… at First\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Andy shared this experience on the \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/KQEDForum\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Forum Facebook page\u003c/a>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I found my girlfriend of nearly 14 months on \u003ca href=\"http://www.okcupid.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">OkCupid\u003c/a>. The key is to go beyond the 10-20 percent of users who get the vast majority of the messages. [Try to] ignore the pictures at first and just focus on the profile, then take a look at the picture once you have a better sense of who the person is. The problem most online daters face is that they judge based on looks (as determined by a couple of thumbnail pictures) and don't make an attempt to contact people who could be great matches if they met in person. If you go beyond that your chances of success dramatically increase.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When you post your photo—choose one that's in-focus and sans sunglasses. The purpose of the profile picture is to let people know what you look like, so you may as well pick a photo that does the job.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>8. There's a Dating Service for Every Type\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Chances are, if you've got a type, \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/06/fashion/06Niche.html?_r=0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">there's a site for it\u003c/a>. Are you a\u003ca href=\"http://cupidtino.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Mac\u003c/a> of PC person? A Democrat or a Republican? Jewish or Catholic? Before investing in a paid subscription, be sure to look beyond the big name sites like Match.com and \u003ca href=\"http://www.eharmony.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">eHarmony\u003c/a>, especially if you there's a characteristic that's a must-have for you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/201302061000/is-online-dating-changing-our-relationships\">Listen to the complete interview with Mr. Slater!\u003c/a>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"It's February, which means love is looming large. If you want to play along with the season's preoccupation with pink and partnering, maybe it's time to considered online dating.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1552083824,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":32,"wordCount":1250},"headData":{"title":"8 Important Things to Know Before You Start Dating Online | KQED","description":"It's February, which means love is looming large. If you want to play along with the season's preoccupation with pink and partnering, maybe it's time to considered online dating.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"1206 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=1206","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/12/8-things-to-know-before-you-start-dating-online/","disqusTitle":"8 Important Things to Know Before You Start Dating Online","path":"/pop/1206/8-things-to-know-before-you-start-dating-online","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Conversation hearts and chocolate samplers fill the grocery aisles, your inbox is filled with coupon deals for roses and romantic dates, and your grandmother has yet again asked if you have a \"special friend.\" Dan Slater, author of \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Love-Time-Algorithms-Technology-Meeting/dp/1591845319\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Love in the Time of Algorithms\u003c/a> \u003c/em>visited \u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/a/forum/R201302061000\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">KQED's Forum\u003c/a> to discuss the world of online dating and how it is changing our relationships. Here are some highlights from that show that we hope will help you make sense of the online dating scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Online Dating is Still Dating (Read: Awkward)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Online dating gets so much buzz, you might get the impression that once you post a profile you will be flooded with hundreds of potential partners and that meeting them will be void of stress and awkward moments. You are wrong.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Technology can be a very useful tool, but it's not a cure-all, it's not a panacea for everyone's relationship ills, and I think that often times people approach it with very high expectations; they expect to be able to hit a button and their soul mate pops up, but, you know, it takes a little more work than that.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Don't Invest Too Much Time Before Meeting in Person\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A listener named Anna, who met her husband online, called into the show and offered this advice: \"Read a little bit, send [potential dates] a message, and meet for coffee for a half an hour.\" Anna said that setting limits takes a lot of the fear away because \"you're not investing as much\" in any one profile.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Limiting interaction before you meet someone in person also ensures that you won't steal all of the magic away from that first meeting—something that Slater said a lot of the people he interviewed for his book felt was lacking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's a sense of discovery that is lost in the online process,\" said a caller named Jennifer. \"You read [someone's] entire life story on their summaries about who they are, what they're looking for. The authenticity of that first meeting—the mystery is kind of lost for me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Decide if the Story of How You Met is Important to You\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"People put a lot of stock in the meeting story,\" said Slater. \"If you go to a cocktail party and talk to couples, often times the conversation will go to how they met, and if you don't have that fun story to tell, maybe, for some people, it feels like they've been deprived of something.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before venturing online, figure out if the idea of a serendipitous meeting, however mundane is \"preferable to what [can feel like] an overly structured way of meeting online.\" Because if you can't imagine telling your grandmother that you met your \"special friend\" on \u003ca href=\"http://www.match.com/\">Match.com\u003c/a>, and the thought of lying makes you cringe, you might want to stick to the old-fashioned way of meeting someone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. The Claims on Long Term Compatibility Aren't Proven\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's a fair amount of debate, both within the industry itself and outside of the industry, as to what these algorithms [used by online dating sites] actually do,\" said Slater \"and can they actually predict anything, or is it all just a bunch of smoke?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Slater specifically questioned \u003ca href=\"http://www.eharmony.com/\">eHarmony\u003c/a>'s claim that it can \"predict whether or not a couple of strangers—a man and woman who have never met—can be happy together.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The evidence may be a bit weak,\" said Slater. He cited a study that found social scientists can predict the long term compatibility of a couple that's already together with a fair amount of accuracy, but that predicting how two complete strangers will stand the test of time is something entirely different.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"No one has shown an ability to do that with strangers because before two people have come together, there are so many things you don't know about them,\" said Slater. \"You don't know how they're going to handle stress together. So right now, what seems to be the case is that dating sites are getting better and better at predicting whether two people will hit it off on a first date. And that, in my mind, is a pretty amazing innovation.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Expect Some Untruths\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's a little bit of lying everywhere,\" said Slater. \"If you meet someone offline, there's going to be a little bit of lying that takes place. I think the online world obviously makes it a bit easier to kind of fudge your stats: men will tend to add a couple inches to their height, women will tend to shave a few pounds off their weight.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>6. Casual Sex is Not Just for Men\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A listener named Joseph shared this perspective:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I joined [an online dating site] in 2003 and I was looking for love, and what I discovered is that an amazing number of women would come straight over to my house for the first date; I mean, it became like ordering take-out. And of course I was absolutely delighted with the experience, and also really shocked about it… If I told you the number of women who would just come straight over to my house for sex—no date, no coffee, thirty minutes, it's happening—you would find it hard to believe.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Slater says that online dating might expose the theory that only men want casual sex as just that—a theory.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We don't know at this point whether men do, in fact, pursue more short-term sex than women. Certainly the stereotype and belief all along has been that men are sort of biologically wired to pursue more short-term sex—I don't believe that's the case and I believe that online dating is starting to expose a little bit of that lie.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>7. Don't Pay Too Much Attention to Photos… at First\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Andy shared this experience on the \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/KQEDForum\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Forum Facebook page\u003c/a>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I found my girlfriend of nearly 14 months on \u003ca href=\"http://www.okcupid.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">OkCupid\u003c/a>. The key is to go beyond the 10-20 percent of users who get the vast majority of the messages. [Try to] ignore the pictures at first and just focus on the profile, then take a look at the picture once you have a better sense of who the person is. The problem most online daters face is that they judge based on looks (as determined by a couple of thumbnail pictures) and don't make an attempt to contact people who could be great matches if they met in person. If you go beyond that your chances of success dramatically increase.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When you post your photo—choose one that's in-focus and sans sunglasses. The purpose of the profile picture is to let people know what you look like, so you may as well pick a photo that does the job.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>8. There's a Dating Service for Every Type\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Chances are, if you've got a type, \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/06/fashion/06Niche.html?_r=0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">there's a site for it\u003c/a>. Are you a\u003ca href=\"http://cupidtino.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Mac\u003c/a> of PC person? A Democrat or a Republican? Jewish or Catholic? Before investing in a paid subscription, be sure to look beyond the big name sites like Match.com and \u003ca href=\"http://www.eharmony.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">eHarmony\u003c/a>, especially if you there's a characteristic that's a must-have for you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/201302061000/is-online-dating-changing-our-relationships\">Listen to the complete interview with Mr. Slater!\u003c/a>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/1206/8-things-to-know-before-you-start-dating-online","authors":["70"],"categories":["pop_6","pop_155"],"tags":["pop_159","pop_162","pop_99","pop_157","pop_161","pop_160","pop_158"],"featImg":"pop_110092","label":"pop"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.","airtime":"SUN 2pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Possible-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.possible.fm/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Possible"},"link":"/radio/program/possible","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/possible/id1677184070","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/730YpdUSNlMyPQwNnyjp4k"}},"1a":{"id":"1a","title":"1A","info":"1A is home to the national conversation. 1A brings on great guests and frames the best debate in ways that make you think, share and engage.","airtime":"MON-THU 11pm-12am","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/1a.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://the1a.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/1a","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=1188724250&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/1A-p947376/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510316/podcast.xml"}},"all-things-considered":{"id":"all-things-considered","title":"All Things Considered","info":"Every weekday, \u003cem>All Things Considered\u003c/em> hosts Robert Siegel, Audie Cornish, Ari Shapiro, and Kelly McEvers present the program's trademark mix of news, interviews, commentaries, reviews, and offbeat features. Michel Martin hosts on the weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 1pm-2pm, 4:30pm-6:30pm\u003cbr />SAT-SUN 5pm-6pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/All-Things-Considered-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.npr.org/programs/all-things-considered/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/all-things-considered"},"american-suburb-podcast":{"id":"american-suburb-podcast","title":"American Suburb: The Podcast","tagline":"The flip side of gentrification, told through one town","info":"Gentrification is changing cities across America, forcing people from neighborhoods they have long called home. Call them the displaced. Now those priced out of the Bay Area are looking for a better life in an unlikely place. American Suburb follows this migration to one California town along the Delta, 45 miles from San Francisco. But is this once sleepy suburb ready for them?","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/American-Suburb-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"13"},"link":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?mt=2&id=1287748328","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/American-Suburb-p1086805/","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkMzMDExODgxNjA5"}},"baycurious":{"id":"baycurious","title":"Bay Curious","tagline":"Exploring the Bay Area, one question at a time","info":"KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Bay-Curious-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"\"KQED Bay Curious","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/baycurious","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"4"},"link":"/podcasts/baycurious","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bay-curious/id1172473406","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/500557090/bay-curious","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/category/bay-curious-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93dzIua3FlZC5vcmcvbmV3cy9jYXRlZ29yeS9iYXktY3VyaW91cy1wb2RjYXN0L2ZlZWQvcG9kY2FzdA","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/bay-curious","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/6O76IdmhixfijmhTZLIJ8k"}},"bbc-world-service":{"id":"bbc-world-service","title":"BBC World Service","info":"The day's top stories from BBC News compiled twice daily in the week, once at weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9pm-10pm, TUE-FRI 1am-2am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/BBC-World-Service-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/live:bbc_world_service","meta":{"site":"news","source":"BBC World Service"},"link":"/radio/program/bbc-world-service","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/global-news-podcast/id135067274?mt=2","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/BBC-World-Service-p455581/","rss":"https://podcasts.files.bbci.co.uk/p02nq0gn.rss"}},"code-switch-life-kit":{"id":"code-switch-life-kit","title":"Code Switch / Life Kit","info":"\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />","airtime":"SUN 9pm-10pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Code-Switch-Life-Kit-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/code-switch-life-kit","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/1112190608?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy9yc3MvcG9kY2FzdC5waHA_aWQ9NTEwMzEy","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3bExJ9JQpkwNhoHvaIIuyV","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510312/podcast.xml"}},"commonwealth-club":{"id":"commonwealth-club","title":"Commonwealth Club of California Podcast","info":"The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.","airtime":"THU 10pm, FRI 1am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.commonwealthclub.org/podcasts","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Commonwealth Club of California"},"link":"/radio/program/commonwealth-club","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/commonwealth-club-of-california-podcast/id976334034?mt=2","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5jb21tb253ZWFsdGhjbHViLm9yZy9hdWRpby9wb2RjYXN0L3dlZWtseS54bWw","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Commonwealth-Club-of-California-p1060/"}},"considerthis":{"id":"considerthis","title":"Consider This","tagline":"Make sense of the day","info":"Make sense of the day. Every weekday afternoon, Consider This helps you consider the major stories of the day in less than 15 minutes, featuring the reporting and storytelling resources of NPR. Plus, KQED’s Bianca Taylor brings you the local KQED news you need to know.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Consider-This-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"Consider This from NPR and KQED","officialWebsiteLink":"/podcasts/considerthis","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"7"},"link":"/podcasts/considerthis","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1503226625?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/coronavirusdaily","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5ucHIub3JnLzUxMDM1NS9wb2RjYXN0LnhtbA","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3Z6JdCS2d0eFEpXHKI6WqH"}},"forum":{"id":"forum","title":"Forum","tagline":"The conversation starts here","info":"KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9am-11am, 10pm-11pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"KQED Forum with Mina Kim and Alexis Madrigal","officialWebsiteLink":"/forum","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"8"},"link":"/forum","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kqeds-forum/id73329719","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM5NTU3MzgxNjMz","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/432307980/forum","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqedfm-kqeds-forum-podcast","rss":"https://feeds.megaphone.fm/KQINC9557381633"}},"freakonomics-radio":{"id":"freakonomics-radio","title":"Freakonomics Radio","info":"Freakonomics Radio is a one-hour award-winning podcast and public-radio project hosted by Stephen Dubner, with co-author Steve Levitt as a regular guest. It is produced in partnership with WNYC.","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/05/freakonomicsRadio.png","officialWebsiteLink":"http://freakonomics.com/","airtime":"SUN 1am-2am, SAT 3pm-4pm","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"WNYC"},"link":"/radio/program/freakonomics-radio","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/4s8b","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/freakonomics-radio/id354668519","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/podcasts/WNYC-Podcasts/Freakonomics-Radio-p272293/","rss":"https://feeds.feedburner.com/freakonomicsradio"}},"fresh-air":{"id":"fresh-air","title":"Fresh Air","info":"Hosted by Terry Gross, \u003cem>Fresh Air from WHYY\u003c/em> is the Peabody Award-winning weekday magazine of contemporary arts and issues. One of public radio's most popular programs, Fresh Air features intimate conversations with today's biggest luminaries.","airtime":"MON-FRI 7pm-8pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Fresh-Air-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.npr.org/programs/fresh-air/","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/fresh-air","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/4s8b","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=214089682&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Fresh-Air-p17/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/381444908/podcast.xml"}},"here-and-now":{"id":"here-and-now","title":"Here & Now","info":"A live production of NPR and WBUR Boston, in collaboration with stations across the country, Here & Now reflects the fluid world of news as it's happening in the middle of the day, with timely, in-depth news, interviews and conversation. Hosted by Robin Young, Jeremy Hobson and Tonya Mosley.","airtime":"MON-THU 11am-12pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Here-And-Now-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"http://www.wbur.org/hereandnow","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/here-and-now","subsdcribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?mt=2&id=426698661","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Here--Now-p211/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510051/podcast.xml"}},"how-i-built-this":{"id":"how-i-built-this","title":"How I Built This with Guy Raz","info":"Guy Raz dives into the stories behind some of the world's best known companies. How I Built This weaves a narrative journey about innovators, entrepreneurs and idealists—and the movements they built.","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/05/howIBuiltThis.png","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510313/how-i-built-this","airtime":"SUN 7:30pm-8pm","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/how-i-built-this","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/3zxy","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/how-i-built-this-with-guy-raz/id1150510297?mt=2","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/podcasts/Arts--Culture-Podcasts/How-I-Built-This-p910896/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510313/podcast.xml"}},"inside-europe":{"id":"inside-europe","title":"Inside Europe","info":"Inside Europe, a one-hour weekly news magazine hosted by Helen Seeney and Keith Walker, explores the topical issues shaping the continent. No other part of the globe has experienced such dynamic political and social change in recent years.","airtime":"SAT 3am-4am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Inside-Europe-Podcast-Tile-300x300-1.jpg","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Deutsche Welle"},"link":"/radio/program/inside-europe","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/inside-europe/id80106806?mt=2","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Inside-Europe-p731/","rss":"https://partner.dw.com/xml/podcast_inside-europe"}},"latino-usa":{"id":"latino-usa","title":"Latino USA","airtime":"MON 1am-2am, SUN 6pm-7pm","info":"Latino USA, the radio journal of news and culture, is the only national, English-language radio program produced from a Latino perspective.","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/latinoUsa.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"http://latinousa.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/latino-usa","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/xtTd","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=79681317&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Latino-USA-p621/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510016/podcast.xml"}},"live-from-here-highlights":{"id":"live-from-here-highlights","title":"Live from Here Highlights","info":"Chris Thile steps to the mic as the host of Live from Here (formerly A Prairie Home Companion), a live public radio variety show. Download Chris’s Song of the Week plus other highlights from the broadcast. Produced by American Public Media.","airtime":"SAT 6pm-8pm, SUN 11am-1pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Live-From-Here-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.livefromhere.org/","meta":{"site":"arts","source":"american public media"},"link":"/radio/program/live-from-here-highlights","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1167173941","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Live-from-Here-Highlights-p921744/","rss":"https://feeds.publicradio.org/public_feeds/a-prairie-home-companion-highlights/rss/rss"}},"marketplace":{"id":"marketplace","title":"Marketplace","info":"Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.","airtime":"MON-FRI 4pm-4:30pm, MON-WED 6:30pm-7pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Marketplace-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.marketplace.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"American Public Media"},"link":"/radio/program/marketplace","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=201853034&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/APM-Marketplace-p88/","rss":"https://feeds.publicradio.org/public_feeds/marketplace-pm/rss/rss"}},"mindshift":{"id":"mindshift","title":"MindShift","tagline":"A podcast about the future of learning and how we raise our kids","info":"The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Mindshift-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"KQED MindShift: How We Will Learn","officialWebsiteLink":"/mindshift/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"2"},"link":"/podcasts/mindshift","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mindshift-podcast/id1078765985","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM1NzY0NjAwNDI5","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/464615685/mind-shift-podcast","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/stories-teachers-share","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/0MxSpNYZKNprFLCl7eEtyx"}},"morning-edition":{"id":"morning-edition","title":"Morning Edition","info":"\u003cem>Morning Edition\u003c/em> takes listeners around the country and the world with multi-faceted stories and commentaries every weekday. Hosts Steve Inskeep, David Greene and Rachel Martin bring you the latest breaking news and features to prepare you for the day.","airtime":"MON-FRI 3am-9am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Morning-Edition-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.npr.org/programs/morning-edition/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/morning-edition"},"onourwatch":{"id":"onourwatch","title":"On Our Watch","tagline":"Police secrets, unsealed","info":"For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. 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