Yet I was not deterred. In fact, I needed to watch this train derail. Coolio and Mark didn’t let me down. I watched in astonishment as the “Ganagta’s Paradise” rapper attempted ice skating with McGrath’s wife and then took suggestions on how to treat his woman from Mark.

Exhibit B:

And finally the shocking ending to the story, Exhibit C:

That’s right, Coolio’s two-job having, hard working, mother-of-three girlfriend Mimi learned her relationship was bogus through the swap and sent Coolio packing. I didn’t see that coming. I also couldn’t have predicted that I’d get hooked on Celebrity Wife Swap.

What makes CWS so titillating is that, this season, their formula is masterfully set up for conflict: First, they pair couples whose famous halves know each other from the past and usually have some kind of beef. Next, they carefully set up what they perceive to be the key difference between the families (e.g. child rearing habits, etc.), they add cameras and voila!

The worst/best reality show on TV is chock full of delicious awkwardness, Emmy-seeking tears, and extreme frivolousness.

Let’s see some examples, shall we?

Melissa Rivers vs. Bristol Palin

You don’t even have to watch this episode to know that it was just a ploy to get Joan Rives and Bristol Palin in the same room after Rivers ridiculed young Palin during her DWTS stint. Well played, ABC.

This battle royale boils down to fashion vs. frump. They make sure to mention how important fashion is to Melissa (and of course her mother Joan) and point out how the Palin girls are proud of their cozy clothes. Beyond that, we learn that Melissa’s son Cooper is surprisingly well-adjusted for being raised by the Rivers and that Bristol is masterful at dodging political conversations. In the end, they all teach each other manners and hug. Bristol Palin got Joan Rivers to eat her words, who’d a thunk it?

Alan Thicke vs. Gilbert Gottfried

This silly story focuses on the cheap vs. the extravagant. Here we learn that Thicke fired Gottfried from his short-lived late night talk show Thicke of the Night and Gottfried is the cheapest human being on the planet. Gottfried wastes no time sexually harassing Thicke’s totally-hot-in-the-'80s wife, Tanya, while Alan Thicke impresses friends with a horrible Gilbert Gottfried impersonation.

Turns out both families lead completely ridiculous lifestyles. The Thickes adorn their walls with portraits of Tanya and the Gottfrieds shop exclusively at the 99 Cent store.

“Nature Boy” Ric Flair vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper

Even '80s WWF fans can enjoy Celebrity Wife Swap! What a clever trick by the ABC bigwigs! Pinning WWF rivals Ric Flair and Roddy Piper against one another in the ol’ wife swap = brilliant. And oh does this rivaly run deep! Turns out, Ric and Roddy don’t just know one another, but Roddy and his wife Kitty were in Ric’s first wedding. Now on wife #4, Ric lives a flashy lifestyle in Charlotte, while Roddy, Kitty and the kids hole up in their Oregon home Howard Hughes style.

By the end of the Swap, Ric Flair is reduced to tears when he finally admits he’s still hanging on to his glory days, and Roddy Piper decides to take his wife out to dinner.

Though it is still unclear to me why a celebrity of any level would choose to participate in this show knowing that it only serves to reveal all of their at home weirdness, if they’re willing to do it, I am willing to watch.

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Celebrity Wife Swap: The Worst and Best Show on Television