The other day on BART, there was a guy trying to make his friend laugh by singing “Everything is Awesome” from The Lego Movie with alternative lyrics, so it became “Everything is Awful.” Nods of knowing empathy sprang up in his general vicinity because, as we are all acutely aware, 2017 is chaos incarnate.

Finding joy in the small things has become a necessity, so thank goodness for whoever had the good sense to create these: Fake Wikipedia dog profiles that appear to have been written by the dog breeds themselves. This is a world in which the snouts of Greyhounds can prevent war; a universe in which Pomeranians are running a complex chicken nugget distribution network; and a place where God created dachshunds out “of playdough” and “did a heckin streetchh out of the doggo.”

Real-life Wikipedia might have pages for robot dogs, Huckleberry Hound, and Muttley, but fake Wikipedia (via Instagram’s Doggos Being Doggos account) has these beauties:

The German Shepherd

Introducing: The German Boiii

A post shared by Doggos (@doggosbeingdoggos) on

 

Golden Retriever

Golden Boy has arrived

A post shared by Doggos (@doggosbeingdoggos) on

 

Greyhound

Welcome, Long Boy

A post shared by Doggos (@doggosbeingdoggos) on

 

Pomeranian

Introducing, the founder of Pommunism

A post shared by Doggos (@doggosbeingdoggos) on

 

Dachshund

Sosig Boi

A post shared by Doggos (@doggosbeingdoggos) on

 

Corgi

Heavily requested, the Corgo

A post shared by Doggos (@doggosbeingdoggos) on

Shiba Inu

Heavily requested, here is the Shibe

A post shared by Doggos (@doggosbeingdoggos) on

God bless the internet.

Wikipedia Pages Written By Dogs Are About to Make Your Day 21 November,2017Rae Alexandra

Author

Rae Alexandra

Rae Alexandra is On Call Producer for KQED Pop. Born and raised in Wales, she started her career writing for Britain’s biggest music magazines. After moving to California, she became a regular contributor to both SF Weekly and New York’s Village Voice. She regularly ruins your favorite ‘80s movies at MovieRuiner.com, and can be found on Twitter @raemondjjjj.

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