Nintendo to Produce Tiny Retro NES, Because Nostalgia Is an Oil Well That Never Runs Dry

Are you a person who is currently one age, but used to be a different age? Do you remember things that happened when you were different ages, like maybe, say, those years in which getting on the internet involved tying up a landline (ha! so crazy!), or a serial rapist got million-dollar contracts for advertising snack foods to children? Oh man! Previous decades were just nutso!

This combination of wistfulness and whimsy we feel at the inexorable march of time is, aside from being the bulk of Buzzfeed's editorial strategy, a reliably bankable force in a #Millennial-driven consumer marketplace.

So it makes sense that the Nintendo corporation -- not content with their recent achievement of overnight worldwide domination in the form of grown adults walking into traffic and shrubbery in pursuit of animated dragons and whatnot -- would strike while the nostalgia iron is hot.

Yes, the company announced a new yet familiar-looking product today that they're calling the NES Classic Edition. The miniature entertainment system will hit stores Nov. 11, loaded with 30 classic games like Super Mario Bros., The Legend of Zelda, Donkey Kong, Final Fantasy, and more.

If you are a person who played these games when you were younger, the thinking goes, maybe you'd like to play them again, even though you are in fact now older, and games and their respective systems have advanced along with your age? Perhaps you even have children who are now around the same age you were when you first played these games, and it will give you some type of feeling to show this console to said children and tell them about how you used to be their age, which is actually a very weird and disturbing thing to think about when you are a young child, so maybe don't be surprised if they just look at you funny and then go back to playing with their Apple Watches?

It's complicated stuff -- and, as a person without a business degree, I don't pretend to understand it entirely. But hey, I'm also one of those poor saps who never had video games as a kid anyway. If anyone needs me I'll just be over here watching the Clarissa Explains It All intro on repeat.