The moment I knew Emoji had reached peak popularity was when my immigrant mom not only started using them, but started using them in funnier ways than me. She -- and most likely you -- will be excited that Unicode just dropped 72 brand new ones to up your texting game. Behold!
Hey, new laughing emoji, Imma let you finish...but the laughing-so-hard-I'm-bawling emoji is the best laughing emoji of all time!!!
In honor of all the gay rodeos out there.
Prediction: this will be very triggering for the 52% of Americans that are deathly afraid of carnies.
For the next time you have to call out the Jay-Z in your life (10 times out of nine, they be lying).
For reacting to thirst traps or giving your friends a heads-up that you have the mouth sweats and will be puking sometime soon.
This is to be used in conjunction with the mouth sweat emoji above. Also, can be used to convince someone you need to ride shotgun because you get car sick (this doesn't have to be true).
Next time a friend flakes on you, you better believe they will be using this little guy (they're not actually sick).
I agree; we should be texting about Prince Harry more.
Very niche move, Unicode. But Mrs. Clause deserves her shine too, I guess.
For when you're texting Hollywood big wigs and advocating for Idris Elba as the next Bond.
Searching high and low for this little guy -- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -- takes up at least 10 minutes out of my week. What will I do with all the extra time? (Watch more of that British baking show probably).
When someone's text is too embarrassing to warrant words. Also, could be used to narrate the first line of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" (it's "Don't look at me" for those not up on their legendary pop history).
Conversations about whether Beyonce actually carried Blue Ivy or used a surrogate just got a lot more efficient!
Stop trying to make disco happen. It's not going to happen.
What Kim Kardashian hath wrought.
It seems random, but I've wondered why there was no fingers-crossed emoji at least 93 times.
This allegedly means "Call me!" If there's one thing I don't need in the world, it's anything that gives people the impression I want to talk on the phone....ever.
Um, I don't think Unicode thought these two all the way through.
So let me get this straight: we still don't have a witch emoji, but we have this useless "raised back of hand" one? Get it together, Unicode workers!
To promote collaboration or to warn against spreading germs, you decide.
Goths fall in love too, you guys!
#JusticeForZooGorillas!
What does the fox say? I'm not sure; I missed that cultural moment, but this little one sure is cute.
Reparations for Bambi's mom.
Reminder to moisturize.
Bats are animals too! It's not their fault your hair looks so appealing.
For text debates about who is more patriotic.
For people who love dude ducks (the females don't have green heads).
I watched a Winnie the Pooh movie recently (because why not) and the owl was insufferable. But this is cute so I'll allow it.
Representing for all the melted aliens out there!
Promo for Blake Lively's new movie, The Shallows.
Realizing what shrimp actually look like might change some diets out there.
Prince's reincarnation.
Mariah Carey fans' lives just got a whole lot brighter (butterflies are her symbol, duh).
Promo for Emma Watson's new adaptation of Beauty and the Beast, or just a reminder that everything dies. 🙂
Kiwis are so under-appreciated. That changes right now!
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
Hands down, my favorite food. French fries, mashed potatoes, scalloped, whatever. Gimme!
Beta carotene in the building! *air horn*
Paying tribute to Anna Nicole's memory (she really loved pickles).
Too much work.
A subtle way of calling your friend out for being flakey.
Oprah famously said "I love bread!" So say we all.
This looks naked without the butter.
Meat water slides! Cool!
For text debates over how to properly pronounce gyro.
Don't we get enough of these from anonymous Twitter trolls?
As a vegetarian, this offends me.
As a vegetarian, this does not offend me.
As a lactose intolerant person, this offends me.
As a person who does not like beer and does not connect with the beer-jugs-cheers emoji, this uplifts me.
Ditto the above. Don Draper would be so proud.
For inviting your crush over for some spooning. Or if you happen to be texting about telekinesis.
...in the name of love!
Sweet, but I would have preferred a Heely emoji.
Roman Holiday was a cute movie.
I didn't go to camp as a kid.
Beyonce.
Kelly Rowland.
The other one.
You can't tell, but that person is giving you the finger.
Karate ghost.
Remember when Kerri Strug stuck that landing, despite an injury, and won the gold for the entire U.S. team? She definitely deserves her own Emoji for that.
West Side Story.
Emoji: now with more muscle definition!
I have no idea what this is.
White people do the darnedest things.
Goal or sink trap. Who cares; you won't be using this ever.
Thanks for the reminder that I can't and will never be able to juggle.
*insert corny joke here* Ba dum tss!
Life is short. Next time you admit that you're an adult by going grocery shopping, treat yourself with a ride in one of these. You've earned it.
And that makes 72, ladies and gents! Text responsibly!
Note: Unicode has released these, but it's up to Apple and other cell phone makers to figure out roll-out timelines. So we'll have to wait a little longer to actually use these, but hopefully not long!
