Last week, Mariah received her long-overdue Hollywood Walk of Fame star. Why does she deserve it? Oh, maybe because she wrote every song she’s released (minus the covers), has sold more than 200 million records worldwide, holds the title for most weeks at #1 (16) and has had 18 #1 singles (only the Beatles have more at 20). I could go on, but this post is already going to be super long so I won’t.

What better way to show appreciation for 25 years worth of artistic output than to watch every music video Mariah has produced (minus remixes and feature spots on other people’s songs because I have to eventually get back to my life)?

It took me two weeks, but I made it. Some takeaways: Mariah loves small animals, Christmas, singing in the rain, journaling, picking up children, getting revenge, playing evil brunettes, gesturing with her fingers, waving at the camera, and crying single tears for dramatic purposes.

The following is a ranking from worst to best, based on a not-so-scientific formula that factors in storyline, aesthetic  and whether the video inspires me to throw up praise hands or not. This is not a judgment on the songs themselves so save your tweets.

Note: Some computers just couldn’t handle all this Mariah so look for page numbers at the bottom of the post to navigate through Mariah’s career.

So without further ado:

“Endless Love” feat. Luther Vandross (1994)

You know it’s bad when you start longing for Michael Bolton.

Highlight: Luther Vandross’ I’m-either-going-to-murder-or-have-sex-with-you eyes:

“Angels Cry” (2010)

Basically the same thing as the Luther Vandross video, but with a drenched Mariah and a newborn puppy!

Highlight: Is it even a question?

“Forever” (1995)

Concert videos are so lazy. Next.

Highlight: This champagne walk and talk is what Ariana Grande’s entire career is based on.

“H.A.T.E.U.” (2009)

Mariah seethes on a beach. That’s kind of it.

Highlight: She’s not afraid to go there:

“I Want to Know What Love Is” (2009)

Mariah performs in a CGI baseball field, while super creepy extras look on.

Highlight: This child of the corn:

“Hero” and “Without You” (1993-4)

What did I just say about concert videos? These songs deserve so much more than this. Did her record label run out of money in 1993 or something? It’s cute to see some of the awestruck people in the audience, but zzzzz.

Highlight: This fan’s defeated reach for Mariah, perfectly timed to “No one reaches out a hand for you to hold:”

“Can’t Let Go” (1991)

This music video begins with hands opening to reveal a white rose. And that’s the most exciting thing that happens (other than the video ending). Next time you’re suffering from insomnia, use this as a sleep aid.

Highlight: Woomp, there it is:

“Almost Home” (2013)

This is essentially the same video as “Can’t Let Go,” 22 years later. Only, this time, there’s footage from a James Franco movie no one saw.

Highlight: Her hand choreography is unparalleled:

No, really:

“Thank God I Found You” (1999)

If you must praise the lord in a song, at least do it with the Backstreet Boys.

Highlight: From now on, I’m only talking on the phone while reclining on the hood of a car:

“Love Takes Time” (1990)

“I don’t want to be here,” Mariah sings listlessly on a beach. And we don’t want to be here watching this uninspired video. You know it’s bad when the highlights are a phone that’s swinging off the hook and a silver locket being washed away by a bored wave.

Highlight: Pay phone drama! No word on whether it was outside of a Best Buy or not:

  • tahoegeminii

    well they are all the worst bunch of poptard flesh puppet faked photoshopped BS on the planet and MeMe has always looked as stupid as possible in her videos even with all the editing room help-besides the music is all studio fiction and irritating as helll–and Forbes has put out a couple of articles were the real writers of her songs came forward stating that Tommy and Sony bought most of her song rights so they could market her as a “song writer”to try and one up Whitney she didn’t write sh-ttt and if there was a doubt it’s obvious she did write Triumphant a sac of sh-tt that was a second grader could have done better-more ridiculous exaggerated lies about this over rated strippers “talent”-

    • Jimmy Fulton

      Wow Rebecca, you sound a little jealous, and extremely obsessed with Mariah! Be gone troll!!

      • JoanCrawford1

        Jealous of the pile of dog sh!t videos!? I think not. This just goes to show how bad Mariah Carey IS as an artist and why nobody takes her seriously.

        • Brandon

          Serious enough for a star on the Walk of Fame. You say she’s a bad artist, yet she writes, sings, and produces most of her own songs. You sound ridiculous. She’s never claimed to direct her own videos; she usually outsources the things that aren’t apart of her artistic repertoire. Don’t be so hateful you ENTIRE life.

        • Lucas Guerreros

          Singing is a form of art. And everybody recognizes Mariah as one of the best vocalists that ever lived. She has acclaimed albums too. Butterfly and Daydream. And a true Chrismast Classic that is also acclaimed. Vision Of LOve is also acclaimed. She is taken seriously. She proved to have real talent, that alone is enough to be taken seriously.

        • Jimmy Fulton

          Yeah, Joan, jealous just like you are! You are another troll who is obsessed with Mariah and tries to spread your negativity around to make everyone miserable because you are a miserable old troll who needs to go back under the rock you crawled out from!

    • Lucas Guerreros

      Funny because all the producers and writers she worked with praised Mariah’s writing skills. And Mariah didn’t copy Whitney. You can’t copy somebody just because you can belt out a note. Countless of legendary vocalists were doing what Whitney did way before Whitney’s parents were even born.

      • Brandon


    • Brandon

      Nothing is worse than your writing ability Rebecca Enerson. And, I took a look at your Facebook photos a while back; I see why you’re jealous…it is because you look more like Mariah’s sister….cracked out.

  • JoanCrawford1

    Thank you for this article. It basically says, most of mariah’s music videos are dog sh!t. Gosh, I never realized how bad Mariah’s videography is – it’s HORRIBLE. She is one of the worst video music artists of all time.

    • Brandon

      It is good thing she’s a singer, songwriter and producer and not a “video music artist”. Stop inventing titles for her.

    • Jimmy Fulton

      And you are one of the worst trolls of all time! Be gone troll!

    • Tiffany Jackson

      She’s not a visuals artist like MADONNA. That’s because she could actually sing. Lord knows, Madonna would be nothing without visuals.

  • I just have to say that Bringin’ On The Heartbreak is amazing, and an incredible cover.

  • disqus_TQlGEwZHs8

    Is there a reason the Heartbreaker (Remix) video isn’t on this list or did I miss it?

  • Francisco Pastrana

    What about the remix videos??? I love me some of those, especially Joy To The World, Anytime You Need A Friend, I Still Believe/Pure Imagination, My All/Stay Awhile, she looks stunning in the tunnel scenes in Honey Bad Boy Remix, Fantasy Bad Boy Remix is a classic!! On another note my personal favorite Mariah video is The Roof.

  • JT

    Loved this entire post and laughed my way through most of it. Thanks so much for writing it!

  • Nikki Battle Scar

    I love you for this. LOVE.


Emmanuel Hapsis

Emmanuel Hapsis is the creator and editor of KQED Pop and also the host of The Cooler. He studied creative writing at University of Maryland and went on to receive his MFA in the field from California College of the Arts. In his free time, he sings his heart out at karaoke.

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