Silvia Floriano-Cruz was unsure if pushing herself to do something new would really help her grow. In her Perspective, she shares the valuable lesson she learned after all.

I never believed people when they said all you had to do was “push yourself” to do something and join clubs or programs. But I did it. Did it really help in the end?

I was sitting in my room right in the middle of summer and I got a message from my teacher in ninth grade. She was asking if any students wanted to join a two week summer program. I looked at the requirements, which I met, and the stipend did seem worth it, but I had never joined any programs, especially alone.

I knew I wanted to do it, but it didn’t feel like me and honestly, that was a big part of what was preventing me from committing. But I submitted my application and got accepted. I showed up on the first day and I could feel my whole body was fuzzy from the anxiety. If I’m being truthful, I never pushed myself to overcome any anxieties. I always went as far as skipping school as a whole, or leaving early just to avoid the smallest task. So honestly, showing up was a huge thing.

A wave of relief washed over me when I saw my teacher standing at the door and engaging with students. Every day, I forced myself to show up. I was anxious, but it quickly subsided when I started interacting with other youth and felt in community. But at some point, the people were no longer strangers, and I was no longer sitting there listening. I actually felt like I was part of the conversation. I realized everyone in the room somehow had intersecting identities and I had never felt more comfortable.

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When I tell that story, I don’t just mean it to say “join programs! It’s good for your future!” I mean, it’s good for you and feeling that acceptance with others who feel the same as you. Cultural programs are key to making students feel important and uplifting the most underrepresented voices in all systems and places. Maybe I’ve grown to feel more empowered because the programs I partake in revolve around youth voice and youth activism. But honestly, that’s all you need. You need people in your corner and who believe in you to convince you that you are worth more than you might portray or believe yourself to be.

I grew from a very closed off person who didn’t care to ask for support, to the person I am now. I know I have grown through this since I now feel the need to reach out to others who I can see are in the same spot I was. Sometimes all you need to be shown is that you have that support.

With a Perspective, I’m Silvia Floriano-Cruz.

Silvia Floriano-Cruz is a student at Skyline High School in Oakland. Her piece was produced by the KQED Youth Takeover classroom program. Tune in to Youth Takeover from April 22nd to the 26th when teens will share their stories across KQED programs.

PerspectivesPerspectives

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