You’re sitting across from me at the table. It’s our date night, something we don’t do often enough. This is what’s between us: Refinancing our mortgage, investing in the kids’ 529’s, our parents getting older, a bigger car, our work, fatigue, the next family vacation, time. We wonder loosely whether to go with the mushroom tortellini or the shrimp risotto.

I look at you. Deeper than I’ve had the breath to do in weeks.

There are new lines on your face, each one a story of concern for us, your family. I look at you, only half-hearing the words of explanation and regret.

“You’re not listening to me,” you say.

I look at your face, the face I’ve loved every day since I met you, and this is what I want to say:

This morning I woke up to something complete — to you, the simple sound of you, steady and warm. This morning I woke up and all the things that unsettle me, keep me hurtling forward, were for that moment hushed, because you were there. This morning, before the sun split the sky, the world was perfect, because our children were near in their beds and I was next to you.

This morning you walked out the door after a short kiss and we went on with our days. The small and large crises, the trifling errands, the lost instruments and heartbeats, the contracts and calculations, the needs of others wrestling with our own wants — but you kept coming back to me. In moments at the computer on the road, in conversation, I was reminded of you, and why my life is always brimming.

I was reminded of you — the man who looked at me and said, Yes.

You are sitting across from me at the table. It’s our date night, and you are right. I’m not listening. I’m just holding you with my eyes and thinking, You. Always You. Only. You.

With a Perspective, I’m Susan Dix Lyons.

Susan Dix Lyons lives in St. Helena.

Only. You. 13 February,2018Amanda Font

  • Jon Morris

    Beautiful, your writing captures how those, truly in love, feel

  • Any Mouse

    Enough with the navel gazing, Susan Dix Lyons. Diaries are private because they’re only interesting to the person writing them.

  • Your poetry this morning brought tears to my eyes. My wife and I were out to dinner last night and your piece was like you watching and reporting! How did you know?
    Thank you Susan!

  • Tammy

    I thought this piece was beautifully written. Thank you for capturing what most people have trouble saying.

  • Kim

    Thank god I only need to be subjected to this kind of drivel one day a year.

  • Rick

    I was crying right along with the rest of the folks. Couldn’t have expressed my feelings after 25 years of marriage and 2 kids.

  • Lee

    Sorry, I found this weird and creepy

  • Tracy Prose

    When I heard “perspective from Susan Dix Lyons” this morning, my ears perked up after hearing her loving re-count of a day, every day with her teenage daughter. This perspective was on KQED a couple months ago. Being a mother of a teenage daughter, her story touched me to tears. This morning’s Valentine was no exception! Thank you, Susan, for capturing the true tenderness of life’s moments.

  • OaklandLitSpecialist

    Thank you! It is my husband’s and my 14th wedding anniversary today and I teared up on the way to work listening to this, and just played it for my husband as he was doing the dishes. I’m in love with him more everyday, and your sentiments remind me of our love and relationship. Hush to the naysayers!

  • Angela

    Upon hearing your beautiful piece on my way to work this morning, I cried for my amazing husband, our four children, and the blessing of unabashed love. I hope those who left the sour comments will find someone or something they can be as passionate, articulate, honest, and elated about.

  • AR in SF

    Uh, where is the Perspective?

    This is a love note to your husband, that for some majestic reason known only to you and the breathless-with-adoration listeners below you have chosen to share with the world. Save it for the diary next V-Day? Thanks. Or, if you insist on getting on the air to proclaim your Love, contrast the big day in your household with the same day in the household of Mr. & Mrs. Syed Ahmed Jamal of Lawrence, Kansas. This will require you to think and write about someone besides you and yours for a moment or three, though — you up for the challenge?

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