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He coined the term \"oldies but goodies,\" and his beloved radio show drew a racially diverse audience from across California and beyond. California Report Magazine host Sasha Khokha got a chance to interview him for a 2019 story. This week, we're reprising that piece as a tribute to Laboe. Listen to the story in the audio link above.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Original story, Feb. 8, 2019:\u003cbr>\n\u003c/strong>[dropcap]I[/dropcap] never knew who Art Laboe was, or what he meant to so many Californians, until I moved to Fresno, and started dating someone who grew up on Laboe's music. We would drive on country roads lined with orange groves and tune into Laboe's Sunday radio show, where people from all over the state would send in lovey-dovey dedications to each other. And then there was Laboe's signature on-air smooch into the microphone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My now-husband Karl was a low-rider growing up, cruising in his Nissan mini-truck with tinted windows, custom-painted graphics on the side and a booming stereo. He would blast Laboe's show, which played songs by artists like Rick James, Teena Marie, Tierra and the Temptations — from the 12-inch woofers, while waxing his car and cleaning the custom spoke wheels with a toothbrush.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By the time I met Karl, he had moved away from the low-rider lifestyle, but not Art Laboe, or the love songs. He's one of generations of Californians — especially Chicanos and Latinx folks — who've grown up on Laboe's music, first listening as their grandparents did.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723560\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11723560\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35135_1947-circa-Art-Laboe-in-KCMJ-Palm-Springs-studio-qut-800x958.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"958\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35135_1947-circa-Art-Laboe-in-KCMJ-Palm-Springs-studio-qut-800x958.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35135_1947-circa-Art-Laboe-in-KCMJ-Palm-Springs-studio-qut-160x192.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35135_1947-circa-Art-Laboe-in-KCMJ-Palm-Springs-studio-qut-1020x1221.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35135_1947-circa-Art-Laboe-in-KCMJ-Palm-Springs-studio-qut-1002x1200.jpg 1002w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35135_1947-circa-Art-Laboe-in-KCMJ-Palm-Springs-studio-qut.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Art Laboe developed a radio persona that was daring and rebellious for its time. Here he broadcasts from the Palm Springs studios of KCMJ in 1946 while getting a haircut. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Art Laboe)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>After all, Laboe has been spinning oldies and love songs since 1943. He coined the term “oldies but goodies” and was one of the first DJs on the West Coast to play rock 'n' roll.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He still takes to the airwaves from a Palm Springs studio six nights a week from 7 p.m. to midnight, hosting \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/ArtLaboeConnection/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Art Laboe Connection\u003c/a> — a show broadcast on more than a dozen stations across California.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Watch a tribute to Art Laboe produced by videographer Bryan Mendez:\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jx6zqCY8GMU\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Laboe spends hours every day playing songs that are about the heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Love is a powerful medicine, whether you’re falling in love, or out of love,” he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Connecting loved ones, in and out of prison\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>These days, many of those calling in with regular dedications have loved ones in prison.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He's just an amazing DJ. I would listen to him until my last breath,\" says longtime listener Rosie Morales, of Sylmar.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723897\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 351px\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-11723897\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35166_DSCF7495-1-qut-800x531.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"351\" height=\"233\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35166_DSCF7495-1-qut-800x531.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35166_DSCF7495-1-qut-160x106.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35166_DSCF7495-1-qut-1020x677.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35166_DSCF7495-1-qut-1200x797.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35166_DSCF7495-1-qut.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 351px) 100vw, 351px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Art Laboe receives thousands of letters from incarcerated people each year. Some envelopes contain a week's work of dedications for their loved ones. \u003ccite>(Bryan Mendez/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>She calls in every single day with a dedication to her husband Scrappy, who's serving a life sentence in Kern Valley State Prison in Delano. She can't call her husband directly right now, because he's in solitary confinement. But she can hear Laboe smooch kisses sent by her husband into his microphone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He's able to communicate to our loved ones when we can't,\" Morales says. \"He brings that spark into relationships.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“They’re there, man and wife, every night, man and wife, doing it to each other, dedications,\" Laboe laughs. \"Conjugal, but not conjugal.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some incarcerated people send in a week's worth of dedications to their spouses or lovers, with a different love song for each day of the week.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723729\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11723729\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35147_2018_1211_185557001-qut-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35147_2018_1211_185557001-qut-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35147_2018_1211_185557001-qut-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35147_2018_1211_185557001-qut-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35147_2018_1211_185557001-qut-1200x675.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35147_2018_1211_185557001-qut.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Art Laboe has been spinning love songs for 75 years. \u003ccite>(Bryan Mendez/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\"Art’s so concerned about the prisoners, because for every person that's inside there can be 10 or 20 family members on the outside affected by that person being in jail,\" says his longtime audio engineer, Joanna Morones, who answers phones to take dedications.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He really caters to that family dynamic, you know, and connecting them. We're told every night, ‘I can't go visit him. I won't be able to go see him for two weeks, but I can talk to him on the radio.’ The guys in prison sit there and wait to hear their wives’ voice on the radio,\" Morones says.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Getting his start — thanks to the WWII draft\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Laboe's obsession with radio started when he was eight years old, when his sister sent his parents what he called \"this box that talked.\" He set up a ham radio station in his bedroom at age 14, broadcasting to his neighbors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When he was 18, he walked into radio station KSAN in San Francisco and asked for a job.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He had no real experience, and he hadn’t yet honed his rich baritone. But he did have one thing: a radio operator’s license.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The station had lost its engineers to the draft — this was World War II. The manager offered him a job on the spot. As long as he changed his last name, which the manager thought sounded \"too ethnic\" for the airwaves in 1943.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So Art Egnoian — the son of Armenian immigrants — took the name of the station’s receptionist and became Art Laboe.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723557\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 768px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11723557\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35134_1945-KPMO-Art-Laboe-w-Eddie-Rodriquez-s-qut.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"768\" height=\"936\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35134_1945-KPMO-Art-Laboe-w-Eddie-Rodriquez-s-qut.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35134_1945-KPMO-Art-Laboe-w-Eddie-Rodriquez-s-qut-160x195.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Laboe claims to have invented the on-air dedication, where listeners write or call in to send music and love notes to each other on the air. Here he reads dedications with Eddie Rodriguez in 1945, at radio station KPMO in Pomona. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Art Laboe)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>But his music, and his fan base, have never been whitewashed. Laboe has built a huge fan base, starting with the teenagers who attended his live concerts or dances back in the 1950s. He made a name for himself hosting rock 'n' roll concerts in the Los Angeles suburb of El Monte, pioneering racially integrated, all-ages dance parties with live bands.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I can do some nice talking in Armenian. But I can do almost that good in Spanish, too,\" Laboe smiles. \"I’m happy that [our concerts and shows appeal to] everybody. If you come to one of our concerts, you’ll see a mixture, a complete mixture of what we have in California.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723561\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11723561\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35138_1958-Art-Laboe-KPOP-broadcast-event-s-qut-800x570.jpg\" alt=\"Laboe pioneered live broadcast events, talking to listeners from drive-ins and concert halls, and sometimes even pulling stunts like trying to get a lion to roar into his microphone.\" width=\"800\" height=\"570\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35138_1958-Art-Laboe-KPOP-broadcast-event-s-qut-800x570.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35138_1958-Art-Laboe-KPOP-broadcast-event-s-qut-160x114.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35138_1958-Art-Laboe-KPOP-broadcast-event-s-qut-1020x726.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35138_1958-Art-Laboe-KPOP-broadcast-event-s-qut.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Laboe pioneered live broadcast events, talking to listeners from drive-ins and concert halls, and sometimes even pulling stunts like trying to get a lion to roar into his microphone. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Art Laboe)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>At 94, Laboe is still hosting live shows across California and the west, wearing his signature bedazzled track suit and a sparkly bowler hat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Laboe says he knows people his age always say this kind of thing, but he is nostalgic for the old days — a time when people used to have a little more kindness for each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It would be good if we had a little bit more of what we used to have in the world,\" Laboe says. \"Nevertheless, people are people and they still have the same basic wants and needs. Everyone is capable of love and affection, if they could just have a little bit more of it for each other.\"\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Widely credited as the first DJ to play rock and roll on the West Coast, Art Laboe died earlier this month in Palm Springs at the age of 97, after a broadcasting career spanning some 80 years.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1666394636,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":29,"wordCount":1271},"headData":{"title":"A Tribute to a California DJ Who Connected Lovers on the Air for 80 Years | KQED","description":"Widely credited as the first DJ to play rock and roll on the West Coast, Art Laboe died earlier this month in Palm Springs at the age of 97, after a broadcasting career spanning some 80 years.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11723524 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11723524","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2022/10/21/at-93-this-california-dj-is-still-connecting-loved-ones-on-the-air/","disqusTitle":"A Tribute to a California DJ Who Connected Lovers on the Air for 80 Years","audioUrl":"https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/0af137ef-751e-4b19-a055-aaef00d2d578/ffca7e9f-6831-41c5-bcaf-aaef00f5a073/0716a279-1155-4286-bc81-ab620003dba0/audio.mp3","audioTrackLength":690,"excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","path":"/news/11723524/at-93-this-california-dj-is-still-connecting-loved-ones-on-the-air","audioDuration":705000,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Art Laboe, widely credited as the first DJ to play rock and roll on the West Coast, died earlier this month in Palm Springs at the age of 97, after a broadcasting career spanning some 80 years. He coined the term \"oldies but goodies,\" and his beloved radio show drew a racially diverse audience from across California and beyond. California Report Magazine host Sasha Khokha got a chance to interview him for a 2019 story. This week, we're reprising that piece as a tribute to Laboe. Listen to the story in the audio link above.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Original story, Feb. 8, 2019:\u003cbr>\n\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class=\"utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__dropcapShortcode__dropcap\">I\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp> never knew who Art Laboe was, or what he meant to so many Californians, until I moved to Fresno, and started dating someone who grew up on Laboe's music. We would drive on country roads lined with orange groves and tune into Laboe's Sunday radio show, where people from all over the state would send in lovey-dovey dedications to each other. And then there was Laboe's signature on-air smooch into the microphone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My now-husband Karl was a low-rider growing up, cruising in his Nissan mini-truck with tinted windows, custom-painted graphics on the side and a booming stereo. He would blast Laboe's show, which played songs by artists like Rick James, Teena Marie, Tierra and the Temptations — from the 12-inch woofers, while waxing his car and cleaning the custom spoke wheels with a toothbrush.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By the time I met Karl, he had moved away from the low-rider lifestyle, but not Art Laboe, or the love songs. He's one of generations of Californians — especially Chicanos and Latinx folks — who've grown up on Laboe's music, first listening as their grandparents did.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723560\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11723560\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35135_1947-circa-Art-Laboe-in-KCMJ-Palm-Springs-studio-qut-800x958.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"958\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35135_1947-circa-Art-Laboe-in-KCMJ-Palm-Springs-studio-qut-800x958.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35135_1947-circa-Art-Laboe-in-KCMJ-Palm-Springs-studio-qut-160x192.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35135_1947-circa-Art-Laboe-in-KCMJ-Palm-Springs-studio-qut-1020x1221.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35135_1947-circa-Art-Laboe-in-KCMJ-Palm-Springs-studio-qut-1002x1200.jpg 1002w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35135_1947-circa-Art-Laboe-in-KCMJ-Palm-Springs-studio-qut.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Art Laboe developed a radio persona that was daring and rebellious for its time. Here he broadcasts from the Palm Springs studios of KCMJ in 1946 while getting a haircut. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Art Laboe)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>After all, Laboe has been spinning oldies and love songs since 1943. He coined the term “oldies but goodies” and was one of the first DJs on the West Coast to play rock 'n' roll.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He still takes to the airwaves from a Palm Springs studio six nights a week from 7 p.m. to midnight, hosting \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/ArtLaboeConnection/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Art Laboe Connection\u003c/a> — a show broadcast on more than a dozen stations across California.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Watch a tribute to Art Laboe produced by videographer Bryan Mendez:\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/jx6zqCY8GMU'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/jx6zqCY8GMU'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Laboe spends hours every day playing songs that are about the heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Love is a powerful medicine, whether you’re falling in love, or out of love,” he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Connecting loved ones, in and out of prison\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>These days, many of those calling in with regular dedications have loved ones in prison.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He's just an amazing DJ. I would listen to him until my last breath,\" says longtime listener Rosie Morales, of Sylmar.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723897\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 351px\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-11723897\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35166_DSCF7495-1-qut-800x531.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"351\" height=\"233\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35166_DSCF7495-1-qut-800x531.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35166_DSCF7495-1-qut-160x106.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35166_DSCF7495-1-qut-1020x677.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35166_DSCF7495-1-qut-1200x797.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35166_DSCF7495-1-qut.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 351px) 100vw, 351px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Art Laboe receives thousands of letters from incarcerated people each year. Some envelopes contain a week's work of dedications for their loved ones. \u003ccite>(Bryan Mendez/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>She calls in every single day with a dedication to her husband Scrappy, who's serving a life sentence in Kern Valley State Prison in Delano. She can't call her husband directly right now, because he's in solitary confinement. But she can hear Laboe smooch kisses sent by her husband into his microphone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He's able to communicate to our loved ones when we can't,\" Morales says. \"He brings that spark into relationships.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“They’re there, man and wife, every night, man and wife, doing it to each other, dedications,\" Laboe laughs. \"Conjugal, but not conjugal.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some incarcerated people send in a week's worth of dedications to their spouses or lovers, with a different love song for each day of the week.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723729\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11723729\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35147_2018_1211_185557001-qut-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35147_2018_1211_185557001-qut-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35147_2018_1211_185557001-qut-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35147_2018_1211_185557001-qut-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35147_2018_1211_185557001-qut-1200x675.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35147_2018_1211_185557001-qut.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Art Laboe has been spinning love songs for 75 years. \u003ccite>(Bryan Mendez/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\"Art’s so concerned about the prisoners, because for every person that's inside there can be 10 or 20 family members on the outside affected by that person being in jail,\" says his longtime audio engineer, Joanna Morones, who answers phones to take dedications.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He really caters to that family dynamic, you know, and connecting them. We're told every night, ‘I can't go visit him. I won't be able to go see him for two weeks, but I can talk to him on the radio.’ The guys in prison sit there and wait to hear their wives’ voice on the radio,\" Morones says.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Getting his start — thanks to the WWII draft\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Laboe's obsession with radio started when he was eight years old, when his sister sent his parents what he called \"this box that talked.\" He set up a ham radio station in his bedroom at age 14, broadcasting to his neighbors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When he was 18, he walked into radio station KSAN in San Francisco and asked for a job.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He had no real experience, and he hadn’t yet honed his rich baritone. But he did have one thing: a radio operator’s license.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The station had lost its engineers to the draft — this was World War II. The manager offered him a job on the spot. As long as he changed his last name, which the manager thought sounded \"too ethnic\" for the airwaves in 1943.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So Art Egnoian — the son of Armenian immigrants — took the name of the station’s receptionist and became Art Laboe.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723557\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 768px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11723557\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35134_1945-KPMO-Art-Laboe-w-Eddie-Rodriquez-s-qut.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"768\" height=\"936\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35134_1945-KPMO-Art-Laboe-w-Eddie-Rodriquez-s-qut.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35134_1945-KPMO-Art-Laboe-w-Eddie-Rodriquez-s-qut-160x195.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Laboe claims to have invented the on-air dedication, where listeners write or call in to send music and love notes to each other on the air. Here he reads dedications with Eddie Rodriguez in 1945, at radio station KPMO in Pomona. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Art Laboe)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>But his music, and his fan base, have never been whitewashed. Laboe has built a huge fan base, starting with the teenagers who attended his live concerts or dances back in the 1950s. He made a name for himself hosting rock 'n' roll concerts in the Los Angeles suburb of El Monte, pioneering racially integrated, all-ages dance parties with live bands.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I can do some nice talking in Armenian. But I can do almost that good in Spanish, too,\" Laboe smiles. \"I’m happy that [our concerts and shows appeal to] everybody. If you come to one of our concerts, you’ll see a mixture, a complete mixture of what we have in California.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723561\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11723561\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35138_1958-Art-Laboe-KPOP-broadcast-event-s-qut-800x570.jpg\" alt=\"Laboe pioneered live broadcast events, talking to listeners from drive-ins and concert halls, and sometimes even pulling stunts like trying to get a lion to roar into his microphone.\" width=\"800\" height=\"570\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35138_1958-Art-Laboe-KPOP-broadcast-event-s-qut-800x570.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35138_1958-Art-Laboe-KPOP-broadcast-event-s-qut-160x114.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35138_1958-Art-Laboe-KPOP-broadcast-event-s-qut-1020x726.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/RS35138_1958-Art-Laboe-KPOP-broadcast-event-s-qut.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Laboe pioneered live broadcast events, talking to listeners from drive-ins and concert halls, and sometimes even pulling stunts like trying to get a lion to roar into his microphone. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Art Laboe)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>At 94, Laboe is still hosting live shows across California and the west, wearing his signature bedazzled track suit and a sparkly bowler hat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Laboe says he knows people his age always say this kind of thing, but he is nostalgic for the old days — a time when people used to have a little more kindness for each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It would be good if we had a little bit more of what we used to have in the world,\" Laboe says. \"Nevertheless, people are people and they still have the same basic wants and needs. Everyone is capable of love and affection, if they could just have a little bit more of it for each other.\"\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11723524/at-93-this-california-dj-is-still-connecting-loved-ones-on-the-air","authors":["254"],"programs":["news_72"],"categories":["news_223","news_8"],"tags":["news_4","news_20856","news_1425","news_20086","news_20219","news_21795"],"featImg":"news_11724854","label":"news_72"},"news_11811250":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11811250","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11811250","score":null,"sort":[1586736036000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"dating-while-immunocompromised","title":"Dating While Immunocompromised","publishDate":1586736036,"format":"audio","headTitle":"The California Report Magazine | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":26731,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>Like a lot of couples, my relationship has changed a lot over the past few weeks. The Bay Area's shelter-in-place orders means my boyfriend and I have to figure out this whole \"long distance\" thing for the first time. No easy feat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I can still remember the exact moment I met my boyfriend, Larry Jerome, on our first date a little over two years ago. He was waiting for me at a corner table under a string of lights at a bar in San Francisco. President Trump’s first State of the Union was playing in the background. We talked about politics, podcasts and our grandparents. Our first conversation was so easy, I remember thinking: “I could probably talk to this guy forever.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11812020\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11812020\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/IMG_6206-800x551.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"551\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/IMG_6206-800x551.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/IMG_6206-160x110.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/IMG_6206-1020x703.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/IMG_6206-1920x1324.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Asal and Larry have been dating for over two years. \u003ccite>(Asal Ehsanipour/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Larry and I had been dating for a few weeks when he told me about his \u003ca href=\"http://crohnscolitisfoundation.org\">Crohn’s Disease\u003c/a>, a chronic inflammatory illness where the body attacks itself. Larry was diagnosed at age 15 and spent the next few months in and out of hospitals, sometimes for weeks on end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It was probably the scariest thing I’ve ever gone through,\" says Larry. \"I got really, really sick. I couldn’t eat. I lost 20 pounds. I was in a lot of pain. I ended up missing the last month of school. I knew that I was really sick, but I didn't really realize how sick.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Luckily, Larry is now in remission thanks to the Remicade infusion he gets every eight weeks. But the medicine also suppresses his immune system, which increases his likelihood of getting sick. Something as simple as catching a cold could cause a flare up that lands him in the hospital. It's a possibility that's always there, looming beneath the surface.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It feels like when you're in school and you have a big test coming up that you might fail and all of the repercussions that would come from that,\" explains Larry. \"It’s like feeling that all the time.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He says that feeling got worse as the coronavirus started spreading around California.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It’s multiplying my base level fear that I'm gonna get sick,\" says Larry. \"Being immunocompromised makes me so much more susceptible. The prospect of me going into a hospital right now is probably more anxiety inducing than normal.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[pullquote size=\"medium\" align=\"right\" citation=\"Asal Ehsanipour, radio journalist\"]'Since the outbreak, every single day has been an exercise in controlling my imagination. I try my best not to picture him in a hospital, or hooked up to a ventilator.'[/pullquote]\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That anxiety he feels — I feel it, too. I live with a hospital nurse. She thinks she’s probably been exposed, which means I’ve probably been exposed. As a result, I don’t want to go anywhere near Larry. Since the outbreak, every single day has been an exercise in controlling my imagination. I try my best not to picture him in a hospital, or hooked up to a ventilator.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As case numbers started to rise, I decided to pack a bag with the essentials. I left my San Francisco apartment, and I’m now staying in an isolated room at my parents house, away from them and miles away from Larry.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11811873\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11811873\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/RS42656_IMG_6741-qut-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/RS42656_IMG_6741-qut-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/RS42656_IMG_6741-qut-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/RS42656_IMG_6741-qut-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/RS42656_IMG_6741-qut.jpg 1334w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Asal and her boyfriend Larry FaceTime often in order to keep in touch. \u003ccite>(Asal Ehsanipour/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\"It's a really big adjustment having our relationship totally exist over phone calls,\" he says. \"We’ve been talking what, three times a day?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I agree it's a lot, but the stakes in our relationship feel higher.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There’s a lot more fear,\" I tell him. \"And I think we need more from each other. We need a sense of safety when things feel hard, which is often.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Larry agrees with that sentiment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"That’s something that’s been hard for us,\" he says. \"I feel like we have to actively try to find things to talk about [besides coronavirus]. So I’m super glad you’re watching Tiger King so we can just talk about that all the time!\" \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[aside label='Related Coverage' aside postID=arts_13877358,arts_13877273,news_11811910] \u003c/span>Staying connected isn’t always easy. There are days when loving each other feels quieter, more subtle. Where I’m just trying to encourage him to catch up on sleep, get some exercise. Where he’s just giving me space to process my grief over the state of the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My first week here, he sent me and my family chocolates. And my parents reciprocated with a care package of their own.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"[They got me] a giant bag of pistachios, it's got to be at least 10 pounds,\" he says. \"And also a huge bag of dried dates. This is the most Persian thing I can think of.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In peak cheesiness — so cheesy I’m almost too embarrassed to write it — Larry sends me really cute GIFs most mornings of baby goats and \u003ca href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/ftnlpk/one_way_to_play_fetch_and_while_keeping_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x\">a toddler playing fetch with corgis\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Last week, I sent Larry my favorite Bill Withers songs, and later asked him which song \"feels the most like us.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PeyzXvvdmw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I feel like ‘Ain’t No Sunshine' feels like us right now,\" he says. \"Because it’s about a guy who’s sad when the woman he loves is gone or far away.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I also ask Larry what I could be doing to better support him right now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The best thing is just talking to you,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"That’s probably the worst thing about all of this — that I can’t see you. And just not knowing when I’m going to be able to see you again. Having you here would be so much better.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It feels ironic that staying in quarantine to protect Larry means I don’t get to be with Larry. And I want to be with him because he makes me feel better when the world is falling apart.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"\"That’s probably the worst thing about all of this - that I can’t see you. And just not knowing when I’m going to be able to see you again. Having you here would be so much better.\"","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1586817283,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":27,"wordCount":1041},"headData":{"title":"Dating While Immunocompromised | KQED","description":""That’s probably the worst thing about all of this - that I can’t see you. And just not knowing when I’m going to be able to see you again. Having you here would be so much better."","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11811250 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11811250","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2020/04/12/dating-while-immunocompromised/","disqusTitle":"Dating While Immunocompromised","audioUrl":"https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/0af137ef-751e-4b19-a055-aaef00d2d578/ffca7e9f-6831-41c5-bcaf-aaef00f5a073/6280b2c4-80d4-4fdb-8087-ab990181d3f3/audio.mp3","path":"/news/11811250/dating-while-immunocompromised","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Like a lot of couples, my relationship has changed a lot over the past few weeks. The Bay Area's shelter-in-place orders means my boyfriend and I have to figure out this whole \"long distance\" thing for the first time. No easy feat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I can still remember the exact moment I met my boyfriend, Larry Jerome, on our first date a little over two years ago. He was waiting for me at a corner table under a string of lights at a bar in San Francisco. President Trump’s first State of the Union was playing in the background. We talked about politics, podcasts and our grandparents. Our first conversation was so easy, I remember thinking: “I could probably talk to this guy forever.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11812020\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11812020\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/IMG_6206-800x551.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"551\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/IMG_6206-800x551.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/IMG_6206-160x110.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/IMG_6206-1020x703.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/IMG_6206-1920x1324.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Asal and Larry have been dating for over two years. \u003ccite>(Asal Ehsanipour/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Larry and I had been dating for a few weeks when he told me about his \u003ca href=\"http://crohnscolitisfoundation.org\">Crohn’s Disease\u003c/a>, a chronic inflammatory illness where the body attacks itself. Larry was diagnosed at age 15 and spent the next few months in and out of hospitals, sometimes for weeks on end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It was probably the scariest thing I’ve ever gone through,\" says Larry. \"I got really, really sick. I couldn’t eat. I lost 20 pounds. I was in a lot of pain. I ended up missing the last month of school. I knew that I was really sick, but I didn't really realize how sick.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Luckily, Larry is now in remission thanks to the Remicade infusion he gets every eight weeks. But the medicine also suppresses his immune system, which increases his likelihood of getting sick. Something as simple as catching a cold could cause a flare up that lands him in the hospital. It's a possibility that's always there, looming beneath the surface.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It feels like when you're in school and you have a big test coming up that you might fail and all of the repercussions that would come from that,\" explains Larry. \"It’s like feeling that all the time.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He says that feeling got worse as the coronavirus started spreading around California.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It’s multiplying my base level fear that I'm gonna get sick,\" says Larry. \"Being immunocompromised makes me so much more susceptible. The prospect of me going into a hospital right now is probably more anxiety inducing than normal.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'Since the outbreak, every single day has been an exercise in controlling my imagination. I try my best not to picture him in a hospital, or hooked up to a ventilator.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Asal Ehsanipour, radio journalist","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That anxiety he feels — I feel it, too. I live with a hospital nurse. She thinks she’s probably been exposed, which means I’ve probably been exposed. As a result, I don’t want to go anywhere near Larry. Since the outbreak, every single day has been an exercise in controlling my imagination. I try my best not to picture him in a hospital, or hooked up to a ventilator.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As case numbers started to rise, I decided to pack a bag with the essentials. I left my San Francisco apartment, and I’m now staying in an isolated room at my parents house, away from them and miles away from Larry.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11811873\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11811873\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/RS42656_IMG_6741-qut-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/RS42656_IMG_6741-qut-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/RS42656_IMG_6741-qut-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/RS42656_IMG_6741-qut-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/04/RS42656_IMG_6741-qut.jpg 1334w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Asal and her boyfriend Larry FaceTime often in order to keep in touch. \u003ccite>(Asal Ehsanipour/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\"It's a really big adjustment having our relationship totally exist over phone calls,\" he says. \"We’ve been talking what, three times a day?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I agree it's a lot, but the stakes in our relationship feel higher.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There’s a lot more fear,\" I tell him. \"And I think we need more from each other. We need a sense of safety when things feel hard, which is often.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Larry agrees with that sentiment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"That’s something that’s been hard for us,\" he says. \"I feel like we have to actively try to find things to talk about [besides coronavirus]. So I’m super glad you’re watching Tiger King so we can just talk about that all the time!\" \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"label":"Related Coverage aside","postid":"arts_13877358,arts_13877273,news_11811910"},"numeric":["aside"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp> \u003c/span>Staying connected isn’t always easy. There are days when loving each other feels quieter, more subtle. Where I’m just trying to encourage him to catch up on sleep, get some exercise. Where he’s just giving me space to process my grief over the state of the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My first week here, he sent me and my family chocolates. And my parents reciprocated with a care package of their own.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"[They got me] a giant bag of pistachios, it's got to be at least 10 pounds,\" he says. \"And also a huge bag of dried dates. This is the most Persian thing I can think of.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In peak cheesiness — so cheesy I’m almost too embarrassed to write it — Larry sends me really cute GIFs most mornings of baby goats and \u003ca href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/ftnlpk/one_way_to_play_fetch_and_while_keeping_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x\">a toddler playing fetch with corgis\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Last week, I sent Larry my favorite Bill Withers songs, and later asked him which song \"feels the most like us.\"\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/5PeyzXvvdmw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/5PeyzXvvdmw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\"I feel like ‘Ain’t No Sunshine' feels like us right now,\" he says. \"Because it’s about a guy who’s sad when the woman he loves is gone or far away.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I also ask Larry what I could be doing to better support him right now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The best thing is just talking to you,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"That’s probably the worst thing about all of this — that I can’t see you. And just not knowing when I’m going to be able to see you again. Having you here would be so much better.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It feels ironic that staying in quarantine to protect Larry means I don’t get to be with Larry. And I want to be with him because he makes me feel better when the world is falling apart.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11811250/dating-while-immunocompromised","authors":["11580"],"programs":["news_72","news_26731"],"categories":["news_8"],"tags":["news_27350","news_26028","news_20856","news_25020","news_27638"],"featImg":"news_11812022","label":"news_26731"},"news_11801032":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11801032","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11801032","score":null,"sort":[1581685311000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"these-oakland-teachers-met-on-an-app-but-its-not-the-one-you-think","title":"These Oakland Teachers Met on an App — But It's Not the One You Think","publishDate":1581685311,"format":"standard","headTitle":"The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":72,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>Junior year of college, Aleah Fajardo was doing a lot — like, a lot, a lot: enrolled in a full course load, working for San Francisco State University’s newspaper and doing a photojournalism internship with the San Francisco Examiner. But bills still had to get paid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I didn't have time for a regular job. I was like, I have a car, I'm in like one of the prime cities that people take Lyft so, I should just do that to help sustain myself through that semester or however long my internship was,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On one particular Saturday night, Aleah had a choice to make.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I was like, damn, I can go out tonight and spend money that I do not have, or I can be an adult and save some money and make some money,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She got in her car and turned on the Lyft app.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, a group of friends in a San Francisco apartment were celebrating their friend’s birthday with Netflix, video games and booze.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“There was like a turning point in the night because about half of us were getting tired because we'd been drinking since 2 o'clock. And then the other half of us were like, 'Man, what are we going to do next?' ” said Eugenio Borgeson. “And my friend Adam, whose birthday [it was]. I don't know what lit his fire, but he just got up and was like, ‘No, let's go to a dancing bar!’ And we were like, 'OK, OK!' ”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since there were 14 people that had to get transported to the club, three different Lyfts were in order.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Luckily for Eugenio, the birthday guy was looking out for him as the only single friend in the crew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“He was looking at the phone all up to his face. He's like, ‘Oh, my God. Eugenio! This Lyft driver is super cute.’ He's like, ‘You’re riding in this car, Eugenio, you’re riding in this car.' ”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the driver rolled up, Eugenio’s friends made him sit shotgun so he could strike up a conversation with the cute driver.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And that cute driver just so happened to be Aleah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What up, y'all? Happy Saturday. I'm glad I'm getting you to your party!” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eugenio proceeded to ask her about how her day was going. Once they got past the small talk, the conversation started flowing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size=\"medium\" align=\"right\" citation=\"Eugenio Borgeson\"]'Aleah seemed to care about a lot of things I cared about. And so we really were like connecting over that.'[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“His students were working on a documentary, and so I was just asking him about how’d [they] get these interviews,\" she said. \"I was really invested in that conversation.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The interest was mutual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Aleah seemed to care about a lot of things I cared about. And so we really were like connecting over that,\" Eugenio said. \"We were just exchanging stories about how digital media is like a really powerful weapon for youth.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the conversation couldn’t go on for long. Eugenio and his crew had a club to dance in, and Aleah had to make more money picking up passengers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When we rolled up to the spot, my mind was going like a million miles a minute. My friends were making me feel nervous, they were pushing me and everything, saying, 'Ask her for a number.' In my head I was saying, 'No, no,' \" Eugenio said. \"She probably has tons of guys ask her for a number. I do not want to be lumped into that. I want to be different.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As Eugenio lingered, Aleah could sense the dreaded question: Can I have your number?\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11801374\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1244px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11801374\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/02/E-A-in-2016.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1244\" height=\"980\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/02/E-A-in-2016.jpg 1244w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/02/E-A-in-2016-160x126.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/02/E-A-in-2016-800x630.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/02/E-A-in-2016-1020x804.jpg 1020w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1244px) 100vw, 1244px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Aleah Fajardo and Eugiono Borgeson take a selfie the year they met, in 2016. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Aleah Fajardo and Eugenio Borgeson)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>“I have had people when they would get off the car, they'd be like, 'Hey, can I get your number,' and umm, it was cool,\" Aleah said. \"But it also made me feel weird, because we just had a normal conversation and they kind of made our conversations sexualized in a way.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whenever that would happen, she’d give her number out, but wouldn't actually text those guys back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I didn't feel like their intentions were where I wanted them to be,\" she said. \"But Eugenio didn't really make me feel that way. We were just kind of like having a great conversation and really like vibing with each other.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After a couple of long, awkward seconds of lingering until his friends got out, Eugenio ditched the script and asked Aleah if he could give her his number. He wanted to continue their conversation over coffee or lunch sometime.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Why don't I offer her my number and have the ball be on her court, so she doesn't feel pressure to give me hers,\" he said. \"If she wasn't feeling it, then it's like, all right, no harm, no foul, [she] doesn't have to call me.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Aleah was genuinely caught off guard by him offering his number, and she was into it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“As she started to [drive away], I was thinking in my head, did I make the right decision?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That evening when Aleah got home, she told her roommates about the cute guy she drove and their stimulating conversation. But she wasn’t sure if she should text him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Monday rolls around and I'm at work and I was like, 'Oh, my God, she's not going to text me. I made the wrong decision. Why didn't I ask her for her number?' ” Eugenio said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Aleah was stressing, too — should she text him or not?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When I finally get home from classes, I go to my roommate like, ‘Yo, tell me the truth. Should I text him?’ And she said, ‘Aleah, you have not shut up about him from the moment you got home on Saturday. Just text him, stop bugging me about it and text him.’ ”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So she did.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When she did finally text me, it was such a huge relief,” Eugenio said. “I was just so scared she wasn't going to at all. And I was just going to hate myself for it forever.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That ride was nearly four years ago.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Today, Eugenio and Aleah live together in Oakland where they both teach at public high schools and continue to use art to empower their students.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"A modern-day love story began nearly four years ago when a ride-hail driver picked up her passenger in San Francisco — after that, the rest was history. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1581725737,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":38,"wordCount":1143},"headData":{"title":"These Oakland Teachers Met on an App — But It's Not the One You Think | KQED","description":"A modern-day love story began nearly four years ago when a ride-hail driver picked up her passenger in San Francisco — after that, the rest was history. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11801032 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11801032","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2020/02/14/these-oakland-teachers-met-on-an-app-but-its-not-the-one-you-think/","disqusTitle":"These Oakland Teachers Met on an App — But It's Not the One You Think","audioTrackLength":395,"path":"/news/11801032/these-oakland-teachers-met-on-an-app-but-its-not-the-one-you-think","audioUrl":"https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/0af137ef-751e-4b19-a055-aaef00d2d578/ffca7e9f-6831-41c5-bcaf-aaef00f5a073/ac03873c-0306-4d37-9142-ab6200026010/audio.mp3","audioDuration":395000,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Junior year of college, Aleah Fajardo was doing a lot — like, a lot, a lot: enrolled in a full course load, working for San Francisco State University’s newspaper and doing a photojournalism internship with the San Francisco Examiner. But bills still had to get paid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I didn't have time for a regular job. I was like, I have a car, I'm in like one of the prime cities that people take Lyft so, I should just do that to help sustain myself through that semester or however long my internship was,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On one particular Saturday night, Aleah had a choice to make.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I was like, damn, I can go out tonight and spend money that I do not have, or I can be an adult and save some money and make some money,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She got in her car and turned on the Lyft app.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, a group of friends in a San Francisco apartment were celebrating their friend’s birthday with Netflix, video games and booze.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“There was like a turning point in the night because about half of us were getting tired because we'd been drinking since 2 o'clock. And then the other half of us were like, 'Man, what are we going to do next?' ” said Eugenio Borgeson. “And my friend Adam, whose birthday [it was]. I don't know what lit his fire, but he just got up and was like, ‘No, let's go to a dancing bar!’ And we were like, 'OK, OK!' ”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since there were 14 people that had to get transported to the club, three different Lyfts were in order.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Luckily for Eugenio, the birthday guy was looking out for him as the only single friend in the crew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“He was looking at the phone all up to his face. He's like, ‘Oh, my God. Eugenio! This Lyft driver is super cute.’ He's like, ‘You’re riding in this car, Eugenio, you’re riding in this car.' ”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the driver rolled up, Eugenio’s friends made him sit shotgun so he could strike up a conversation with the cute driver.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And that cute driver just so happened to be Aleah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What up, y'all? Happy Saturday. I'm glad I'm getting you to your party!” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eugenio proceeded to ask her about how her day was going. Once they got past the small talk, the conversation started flowing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'Aleah seemed to care about a lot of things I cared about. And so we really were like connecting over that.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Eugenio Borgeson","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“His students were working on a documentary, and so I was just asking him about how’d [they] get these interviews,\" she said. \"I was really invested in that conversation.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The interest was mutual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Aleah seemed to care about a lot of things I cared about. And so we really were like connecting over that,\" Eugenio said. \"We were just exchanging stories about how digital media is like a really powerful weapon for youth.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the conversation couldn’t go on for long. Eugenio and his crew had a club to dance in, and Aleah had to make more money picking up passengers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When we rolled up to the spot, my mind was going like a million miles a minute. My friends were making me feel nervous, they were pushing me and everything, saying, 'Ask her for a number.' In my head I was saying, 'No, no,' \" Eugenio said. \"She probably has tons of guys ask her for a number. I do not want to be lumped into that. I want to be different.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As Eugenio lingered, Aleah could sense the dreaded question: Can I have your number?\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11801374\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1244px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11801374\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/02/E-A-in-2016.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1244\" height=\"980\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/02/E-A-in-2016.jpg 1244w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/02/E-A-in-2016-160x126.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/02/E-A-in-2016-800x630.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/02/E-A-in-2016-1020x804.jpg 1020w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1244px) 100vw, 1244px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Aleah Fajardo and Eugiono Borgeson take a selfie the year they met, in 2016. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Aleah Fajardo and Eugenio Borgeson)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>“I have had people when they would get off the car, they'd be like, 'Hey, can I get your number,' and umm, it was cool,\" Aleah said. \"But it also made me feel weird, because we just had a normal conversation and they kind of made our conversations sexualized in a way.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whenever that would happen, she’d give her number out, but wouldn't actually text those guys back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I didn't feel like their intentions were where I wanted them to be,\" she said. \"But Eugenio didn't really make me feel that way. We were just kind of like having a great conversation and really like vibing with each other.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After a couple of long, awkward seconds of lingering until his friends got out, Eugenio ditched the script and asked Aleah if he could give her his number. He wanted to continue their conversation over coffee or lunch sometime.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Why don't I offer her my number and have the ball be on her court, so she doesn't feel pressure to give me hers,\" he said. \"If she wasn't feeling it, then it's like, all right, no harm, no foul, [she] doesn't have to call me.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Aleah was genuinely caught off guard by him offering his number, and she was into it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“As she started to [drive away], I was thinking in my head, did I make the right decision?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That evening when Aleah got home, she told her roommates about the cute guy she drove and their stimulating conversation. But she wasn’t sure if she should text him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Monday rolls around and I'm at work and I was like, 'Oh, my God, she's not going to text me. I made the wrong decision. Why didn't I ask her for her number?' ” Eugenio said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Aleah was stressing, too — should she text him or not?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When I finally get home from classes, I go to my roommate like, ‘Yo, tell me the truth. Should I text him?’ And she said, ‘Aleah, you have not shut up about him from the moment you got home on Saturday. Just text him, stop bugging me about it and text him.’ ”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So she did.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When she did finally text me, it was such a huge relief,” Eugenio said. “I was just so scared she wasn't going to at all. And I was just going to hate myself for it forever.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That ride was nearly four years ago.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Today, Eugenio and Aleah live together in Oakland where they both teach at public high schools and continue to use art to empower their students.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11801032/these-oakland-teachers-met-on-an-app-but-its-not-the-one-you-think","authors":["11528"],"programs":["news_72"],"categories":["news_8","news_1397"],"tags":["news_20856","news_4524","news_3366","news_25020","news_25675","news_5762","news_17041","news_2301"],"featImg":"news_11801368","label":"news_72"},"news_11725695":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11725695","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11725695","score":null,"sort":[1550279610000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"why-remembering-a-last-kiss-is-as-important-as-remembering-a-first","title":"Why Remembering a Last Kiss Is as Important as Remembering a First","publishDate":1550279610,"format":"audio","headTitle":"The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":72,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>Close your eyes, and think about the first time you kissed someone special. Even little details stand out, like how you were dressed that day and what the weather was like.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now try to remember a last kiss. That’s much harder, right? This sort of memory doesn’t come so easily. It can be painful, awkward or sad. More often than not, it’s something you’d rather forget.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lately, I've been asking Californians to share their last kiss stories. I wanted to know what it was about these experiences that stays with people, as well as what they might all have in common. I was surprised by how many people were willing to share their last kiss stories, and how the memories, though often difficult, were positive, rather than filled with regret.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725941\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11725941 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Nara-1-e1550093227871-800x1067.jpg\" alt=\"Nara with her friend, fellow theater aficionado and UC Santa Barbara roommate Greg.\" width=\"800\" height=\"1067\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Nara with her friend, fellow theater aficionado and UC Santa Barbara roommate, Greg. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Nara D)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Nara, 38\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nMy junior year in college, I helped my roommate and friend Greg re-dye his hair pink, to piss off the director of a play he was in. The director was very conservative and seemingly didn't approve of Greg's gay lifestyle. We sat on the stoop of our house in the sun chatting and waiting for the dye to dry. Eventually, I had to go to class and Greg needed to go prep for his preview performance. When we said goodbye, we kissed each other and said “I love you.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He died onstage that night of an undiagnosed heart condition. He was 20 years old. It was one of the biggest shocks I've ever had. Greg left a big hole in my life, but I don't think I would trade that pain for not having lived with him, and not having gotten to know him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725942\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 720px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11725942\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Joe-and-KC.jpg\" alt=\"Joe and his girlfriend K.C. in Sonoma.\" width=\"720\" height=\"960\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Joe-and-KC.jpg 720w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Joe-and-KC-160x213.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Joe and his girlfriend K.C. in Sonoma. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Joe H.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Joe, 63\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nI met my girlfriend K.C. through a friend. We started emailing each other and decided to meet in person after about a month. We went to a little restaurant for our first date. About three minutes into our conversation, she got right to telling me what was important: that she had two incurable diseases she caught while being a nurse 30 years ago; that she was in so much pain all the time, she couldn't have sex; and that she was still legally married. I admired the way she didn't play games.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Strangely enough, K.C. didn't end up dying because of those diseases. She was part of a drug trial and was cured. But six months later, she was diagnosed with cancer. So I knew the last kiss was coming. One day, when I visited her, I kissed her on the couch at her home in Sonoma. That was the last time I saw her. She called me the night she passed away. K.C. went to sleep and never woke up. The world got a little darker after she left.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725943\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11725943 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Keli-Dailey-2-e1550093466753-800x1067.jpg\" alt=\"Keli in San Francisco.\" width=\"800\" height=\"1067\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Keli in San Francisco. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Keli D.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Keli, 44\u003cbr>\n\u003c/strong>I met this guy in a San Francisco record store and we ended up going out on a date. We went for oysters. We were having a fun, casual time. Then, at the end of the evening, he lunged at me. It felt like he was coming from every direction. It was like an \"omni kiss,\" where there's tongue and hands and this and that. It was so passionate and unusual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then I went out of town for a week for Thanksgiving [and came down with a cold]. By the time I got off the plane, I was in full-blown sick mode. But of course this guy still wanted to see me. It was a strange reunion because we couldn’t kiss. I was sick, so I couldn't breathe. Also, my nose was leaking. I couldn’t wait to get my health back so I could kiss him again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I was feeling well enough, we spoke on the phone. I said, “Oh my gosh, I can't wait to see you! When will I see you next?” “Yeah, about that,\" he said. \"I think I'd like to take a step back.” And my first response was, “Oh no. I just beat my cold! What are you talking about?\" Just when I was well enough to kiss again, no more kisses would be had. It's taught me to be more explicit with dudes about what I'm looking for. Because one of those \"good time kisses\" is a waste of time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725944\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11725944 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Karen-and-Loren-in-1977-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Karen and Loren in 1977\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Karen-and-Loren-in-1977-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Karen-and-Loren-in-1977-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Karen-and-Loren-in-1977-1020x679.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Karen-and-Loren-in-1977-1200x799.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Karen-and-Loren-in-1977-1920x1278.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Karen and Loren in 1977. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Karen Z.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Karen, 50\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nWhen I said goodbye to my oldest friend, Loren, just before she died of a brain tumor at 45, she was medicated into what seemed like unconsciousness. So I sat at her bedside and held her hand and talked to her. When it was time to leave I said, “I’m going to kiss you now.\" And as I leaned in to kiss her, Loren puckered her lips. I’ll never forget it. She had not fluttered her eyes or moved in any way the whole time I'd been talking to her, until I told her I was going to kiss her. And I have to say, it looked like it took effort to pucker her lips, like she really wanted to make it clear that she was listening to me, that she had heard what I said, that she was there with me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725954\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11725954 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/erin-tattoo-3-800x1067.jpg\" alt=\"The tattoo on Erin's back which inspired her teacher's love poem\" width=\"800\" height=\"1067\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The tattoo on Erin's back which inspired her teacher's love poem. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Erin S.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Erin, 35\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nI'm a single mom of a toddler, and was coming out of a long relationship when I ended up in an intense emotional affair with a teacher at a summer program I was attending. He had a daughter the same age as mine, and was in a supposedly monogamous relationship with her mom. The first time we met, in the open, we talked for over an hour. Later, we met in secret three times. It was never more than kissing, but I'd never been kissed like that in my entire life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the last day of the program, he wrote a poem about his summer, his heart, and the experience with me, and read it out loud to the entire class. No one understood except me. The last night of the program we shared a goodbye kiss in my car. It was distracted and sad. I didn't show up on campus for my exit interview the next day. The whole thing was tragic, beautiful, and totally against who I am. I don't regret any of it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725971\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 1687px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11725971\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/CJ-and-Ripper.jpeg\" alt=\"Ripper and a young CJ\" width=\"1687\" height=\"1265\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/CJ-and-Ripper.jpeg 1687w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/CJ-and-Ripper-160x120.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/CJ-and-Ripper-800x600.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/CJ-and-Ripper-1020x765.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/CJ-and-Ripper-1200x900.jpeg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1687px) 100vw, 1687px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Ripper and a young CJ. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Coulton B.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>CJ, 23\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nRipper was my first dog, a black lab. He was playful, sweet and smelly. I was around nine when we had to put him down because he was old and sick. I remember my parents telling me today was the day. I was sad all day. I hung out with Ripper and cuddled with him and he didn't really want to move much. He was just laying there the whole time. I fell asleep for a while with Ripper, and I remember my parents waking me up and saying, \"It's time for him to go.\" I remember looking him in the eyes and I gave him a little kiss on the forehead. He looked at me. It seemed like he knew that this was his time, like he was ready to go. He kind of smiled. And then he just rested his head. He passed and that was pretty much it. I wasn't ready for it.I still miss him. He was the first stepping stone into my love of all animals. I hope to work with animals someday, perhaps in a shelter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725972\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 240px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11725972\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Olivia-Sally-copy.jpg\" alt=\"Olivia and her brother on an early family trip to Disneyland\" width=\"240\" height=\"320\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Olivia-Sally-copy.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Olivia-Sally-copy-160x213.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Olivia and her brother on an early family trip to Disneyland. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Olivia S)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Olivia, 16\u003cbr>\n\u003c/strong>When I was 14, I went to Disneyland with my family. I had a crush on this guy, Kyle. I found out he was also going to Disneyland with his family. So I texted him and we ended up meeting up at the park. We went on the Winnie the Pooh ride. We'd flirted before, so it wasn't completely a surprise when we started holding hands. While we were on the ride, he moved his head around to the front of my face, leaned in and his lips touched mine. And in a second, my first kiss was gone. I was devastated. I pulled away. \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We didn't even talk about it. We got off the ride. We weren't holding hands anymore. I said, \"I'll see you around.\" And we went back to our families. That was the end of the day for us, and the last time I kissed Kyle. I hoped my first kiss was going to be with someone whom I was in love with, maybe on a mountain, maybe watching the sunset. That was the ideal. So having strayed from that was something I really had difficulty processing. Nothing's going to be perfect, is what I've learned.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725973\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 1350px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11725973\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/TWH-teeth.jpg\" alt=\"Tom in San Francisco.\" width=\"1350\" height=\"1800\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/TWH-teeth.jpg 1350w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/TWH-teeth-160x213.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/TWH-teeth-800x1067.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/TWH-teeth-1020x1360.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/TWH-teeth-900x1200.jpg 900w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1350px) 100vw, 1350px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Tom in San Francisco. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Tom H.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tom, 47\u003cbr>\n\u003c/strong>I've been a gay man my whole adult life. But my last kiss story is about the last time I kissed a girl. It was New Year's Eve in Ipswich —the town where I grew up, in the U.K. — and I was with one of my best friends, Sarah. \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We were teenagers at the time. It was kind of custom that everyone on New Year's Eve would go out, drink as much alcohol as humanly possible, and then throw empty bottles at the police. I wasn't out to everyone, but Sarah knew I was gay. And then suddenly we were snogging and had this really passionate kiss. Eventually, we both blinked and finished. I think we probably had strong feelings for each other. Maybe it was just sort of sealing a friendship or something, in a crazy, teenage, hormonal way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Unlike first kisses, last kisses are often painful, awkward or sad. But they're worth remembering. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1550279610,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":20,"wordCount":1728},"headData":{"title":"Why Remembering a Last Kiss Is as Important as Remembering a First | KQED","description":"Unlike first kisses, last kisses are often painful, awkward or sad. But they're worth remembering. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11725695 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11725695","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2019/02/15/why-remembering-a-last-kiss-is-as-important-as-remembering-a-first/","disqusTitle":"Why Remembering a Last Kiss Is as Important as Remembering a First","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcrmag/2019/02/VeltmanLastKiss.mp3","audioTrackLength":441,"path":"/news/11725695/why-remembering-a-last-kiss-is-as-important-as-remembering-a-first","audioDuration":451000,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Close your eyes, and think about the first time you kissed someone special. Even little details stand out, like how you were dressed that day and what the weather was like.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now try to remember a last kiss. That’s much harder, right? This sort of memory doesn’t come so easily. It can be painful, awkward or sad. More often than not, it’s something you’d rather forget.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lately, I've been asking Californians to share their last kiss stories. I wanted to know what it was about these experiences that stays with people, as well as what they might all have in common. I was surprised by how many people were willing to share their last kiss stories, and how the memories, though often difficult, were positive, rather than filled with regret.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725941\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11725941 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Nara-1-e1550093227871-800x1067.jpg\" alt=\"Nara with her friend, fellow theater aficionado and UC Santa Barbara roommate Greg.\" width=\"800\" height=\"1067\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Nara with her friend, fellow theater aficionado and UC Santa Barbara roommate, Greg. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Nara D)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Nara, 38\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nMy junior year in college, I helped my roommate and friend Greg re-dye his hair pink, to piss off the director of a play he was in. The director was very conservative and seemingly didn't approve of Greg's gay lifestyle. We sat on the stoop of our house in the sun chatting and waiting for the dye to dry. Eventually, I had to go to class and Greg needed to go prep for his preview performance. When we said goodbye, we kissed each other and said “I love you.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He died onstage that night of an undiagnosed heart condition. He was 20 years old. It was one of the biggest shocks I've ever had. Greg left a big hole in my life, but I don't think I would trade that pain for not having lived with him, and not having gotten to know him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725942\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 720px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11725942\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Joe-and-KC.jpg\" alt=\"Joe and his girlfriend K.C. in Sonoma.\" width=\"720\" height=\"960\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Joe-and-KC.jpg 720w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Joe-and-KC-160x213.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Joe and his girlfriend K.C. in Sonoma. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Joe H.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Joe, 63\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nI met my girlfriend K.C. through a friend. We started emailing each other and decided to meet in person after about a month. We went to a little restaurant for our first date. About three minutes into our conversation, she got right to telling me what was important: that she had two incurable diseases she caught while being a nurse 30 years ago; that she was in so much pain all the time, she couldn't have sex; and that she was still legally married. I admired the way she didn't play games.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Strangely enough, K.C. didn't end up dying because of those diseases. She was part of a drug trial and was cured. But six months later, she was diagnosed with cancer. So I knew the last kiss was coming. One day, when I visited her, I kissed her on the couch at her home in Sonoma. That was the last time I saw her. She called me the night she passed away. K.C. went to sleep and never woke up. The world got a little darker after she left.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725943\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11725943 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Keli-Dailey-2-e1550093466753-800x1067.jpg\" alt=\"Keli in San Francisco.\" width=\"800\" height=\"1067\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Keli in San Francisco. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Keli D.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Keli, 44\u003cbr>\n\u003c/strong>I met this guy in a San Francisco record store and we ended up going out on a date. We went for oysters. We were having a fun, casual time. Then, at the end of the evening, he lunged at me. It felt like he was coming from every direction. It was like an \"omni kiss,\" where there's tongue and hands and this and that. It was so passionate and unusual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then I went out of town for a week for Thanksgiving [and came down with a cold]. By the time I got off the plane, I was in full-blown sick mode. But of course this guy still wanted to see me. It was a strange reunion because we couldn’t kiss. I was sick, so I couldn't breathe. Also, my nose was leaking. I couldn’t wait to get my health back so I could kiss him again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I was feeling well enough, we spoke on the phone. I said, “Oh my gosh, I can't wait to see you! When will I see you next?” “Yeah, about that,\" he said. \"I think I'd like to take a step back.” And my first response was, “Oh no. I just beat my cold! What are you talking about?\" Just when I was well enough to kiss again, no more kisses would be had. It's taught me to be more explicit with dudes about what I'm looking for. Because one of those \"good time kisses\" is a waste of time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725944\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11725944 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Karen-and-Loren-in-1977-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Karen and Loren in 1977\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Karen-and-Loren-in-1977-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Karen-and-Loren-in-1977-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Karen-and-Loren-in-1977-1020x679.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Karen-and-Loren-in-1977-1200x799.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Karen-and-Loren-in-1977-1920x1278.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Karen and Loren in 1977. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Karen Z.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Karen, 50\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nWhen I said goodbye to my oldest friend, Loren, just before she died of a brain tumor at 45, she was medicated into what seemed like unconsciousness. So I sat at her bedside and held her hand and talked to her. When it was time to leave I said, “I’m going to kiss you now.\" And as I leaned in to kiss her, Loren puckered her lips. I’ll never forget it. She had not fluttered her eyes or moved in any way the whole time I'd been talking to her, until I told her I was going to kiss her. And I have to say, it looked like it took effort to pucker her lips, like she really wanted to make it clear that she was listening to me, that she had heard what I said, that she was there with me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725954\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11725954 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/erin-tattoo-3-800x1067.jpg\" alt=\"The tattoo on Erin's back which inspired her teacher's love poem\" width=\"800\" height=\"1067\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The tattoo on Erin's back which inspired her teacher's love poem. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Erin S.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Erin, 35\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nI'm a single mom of a toddler, and was coming out of a long relationship when I ended up in an intense emotional affair with a teacher at a summer program I was attending. He had a daughter the same age as mine, and was in a supposedly monogamous relationship with her mom. The first time we met, in the open, we talked for over an hour. Later, we met in secret three times. It was never more than kissing, but I'd never been kissed like that in my entire life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the last day of the program, he wrote a poem about his summer, his heart, and the experience with me, and read it out loud to the entire class. No one understood except me. The last night of the program we shared a goodbye kiss in my car. It was distracted and sad. I didn't show up on campus for my exit interview the next day. The whole thing was tragic, beautiful, and totally against who I am. I don't regret any of it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725971\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 1687px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11725971\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/CJ-and-Ripper.jpeg\" alt=\"Ripper and a young CJ\" width=\"1687\" height=\"1265\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/CJ-and-Ripper.jpeg 1687w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/CJ-and-Ripper-160x120.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/CJ-and-Ripper-800x600.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/CJ-and-Ripper-1020x765.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/CJ-and-Ripper-1200x900.jpeg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1687px) 100vw, 1687px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Ripper and a young CJ. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Coulton B.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>CJ, 23\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nRipper was my first dog, a black lab. He was playful, sweet and smelly. I was around nine when we had to put him down because he was old and sick. I remember my parents telling me today was the day. I was sad all day. I hung out with Ripper and cuddled with him and he didn't really want to move much. He was just laying there the whole time. I fell asleep for a while with Ripper, and I remember my parents waking me up and saying, \"It's time for him to go.\" I remember looking him in the eyes and I gave him a little kiss on the forehead. He looked at me. It seemed like he knew that this was his time, like he was ready to go. He kind of smiled. And then he just rested his head. He passed and that was pretty much it. I wasn't ready for it.I still miss him. He was the first stepping stone into my love of all animals. I hope to work with animals someday, perhaps in a shelter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725972\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 240px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11725972\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Olivia-Sally-copy.jpg\" alt=\"Olivia and her brother on an early family trip to Disneyland\" width=\"240\" height=\"320\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Olivia-Sally-copy.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/Olivia-Sally-copy-160x213.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Olivia and her brother on an early family trip to Disneyland. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Olivia S)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Olivia, 16\u003cbr>\n\u003c/strong>When I was 14, I went to Disneyland with my family. I had a crush on this guy, Kyle. I found out he was also going to Disneyland with his family. So I texted him and we ended up meeting up at the park. We went on the Winnie the Pooh ride. We'd flirted before, so it wasn't completely a surprise when we started holding hands. While we were on the ride, he moved his head around to the front of my face, leaned in and his lips touched mine. And in a second, my first kiss was gone. I was devastated. I pulled away. \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We didn't even talk about it. We got off the ride. We weren't holding hands anymore. I said, \"I'll see you around.\" And we went back to our families. That was the end of the day for us, and the last time I kissed Kyle. I hoped my first kiss was going to be with someone whom I was in love with, maybe on a mountain, maybe watching the sunset. That was the ideal. So having strayed from that was something I really had difficulty processing. Nothing's going to be perfect, is what I've learned.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11725973\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 1350px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11725973\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/TWH-teeth.jpg\" alt=\"Tom in San Francisco.\" width=\"1350\" height=\"1800\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/TWH-teeth.jpg 1350w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/TWH-teeth-160x213.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/TWH-teeth-800x1067.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/TWH-teeth-1020x1360.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/TWH-teeth-900x1200.jpg 900w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1350px) 100vw, 1350px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Tom in San Francisco. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Tom H.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tom, 47\u003cbr>\n\u003c/strong>I've been a gay man my whole adult life. But my last kiss story is about the last time I kissed a girl. It was New Year's Eve in Ipswich —the town where I grew up, in the U.K. — and I was with one of my best friends, Sarah. \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We were teenagers at the time. It was kind of custom that everyone on New Year's Eve would go out, drink as much alcohol as humanly possible, and then throw empty bottles at the police. I wasn't out to everyone, but Sarah knew I was gay. And then suddenly we were snogging and had this really passionate kiss. Eventually, we both blinked and finished. I think we probably had strong feelings for each other. Maybe it was just sort of sealing a friendship or something, in a crazy, teenage, hormonal way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11725695/why-remembering-a-last-kiss-is-as-important-as-remembering-a-first","authors":["8608"],"programs":["news_72"],"categories":["news_223"],"tags":["news_22434","news_25038","news_20856","news_2301"],"featImg":"news_11725940","label":"news_72"},"news_11723406":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11723406","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11723406","score":null,"sort":[1549726220000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"this-couples-wild-calls-display-passion-for-swimming-safety-and-each-other","title":"This Couple’s Wild Calls Display Passion for Swimming, Safety — and Each Other","publishDate":1549726220,"format":"video","headTitle":"The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":72,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>On a cold, grey winter morning, Roberta Guise and John Rohosky greet each other on the dock outside their swim club.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Heya bruiser,\" Roberta says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"How ya doin', doll?\" her husband responds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cold water isn’t a well-known aphrodisiac. But for this California couple, the soggy depths of San Francisco Bay have long helped to stoke the flames of romance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723442\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11723442\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-4-800x573.jpg\" alt=\"Roberta and John head out for their swim.\" width=\"800\" height=\"573\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-4-800x573.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-4-160x115.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-4.jpg 850w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Roberta and John head out for their swim. \u003ccite>(Stephanie Lister/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Roberta and John, who are both in their 70s, swim in the Bay several times a week. It's an activity that has played a central role in their relationship for more than 30 years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You could say our lives are designed around the swimming schedule,\" says John with a chuckle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>John and Roberta are longtime members of the \u003ca href=\"https://serc.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">South End Rowing Club\u003c/a>, a San Francisco institution dating back to the 1870s.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723447\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11723447 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-5-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Out on the Bay.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Out on the Bay. \u003ccite>(Stephanie Lister/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>On this particular morning, he’s sporting a black speedo, a red swim-cap and bright green fins. She’s in a black one piece and canary yellow cap.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The conditions aren't ideal. A big storm has just blown through, leaving debris, including floating logs, all over the shore and shallows.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With the fast-moving current, John decides to go in backwards. Roberta is doubtful about how easy it'll be to swim back in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And the water’s chilly, even by these veteran swimmers’ standards, at around 50 degrees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So for safety, Roberta and John have developed this highly distinctive call and response system.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Listen to John's call here:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003caudio controls=\"controls\">\u003csource src=\"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcrmag/2019/02/JohnRebelYellCall.mp3\">\u003c/source>\u003c/audio> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Listen to Roberta's call here:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003caudio controls=\"controls\">\u003csource src=\"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcrmag/2019/02/RobertaDyingSealCall.mp3\">\u003c/source>\u003c/audio> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I call it 'dying seal,'\" says John of his wife's call. \"But I don’t think Roberta likes that name.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>John says his call — which he calls the 'Rebel Yell' — puts him in the fighting spirit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's what the Confederate soldiers used to do before they charged the Union lines,\" John says. \"It's supposed to scare everybody.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Roberta’s call is also wild. But in a different way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I didn't pick the seal sound; it picked me,\" she says. \"That's just what came out. And it stuck.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723443\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11723443 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-3-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Roberta and John outside the South End Rowing Club.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Roberta and John outside the South End Rowing Club. \u003ccite>(Stephanie Lister/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Roberta and John met at the club in the 1980s, and started using their calls soon after they became involved in a clandestine romance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Originally, we didn't want people to know that we had made it official,\" Roberta says of those early days. \"So that, I believe, is how we started those calls. They were like a secret code.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They’d use the calls to find out if the other one was around at the club. Roberta would call to see if John was there. And vice versa.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Roberta and John went public about their relationship, they also started to put their calls to a different use.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When Roberta and I started swimming together more regularly, it was a good way to signal to each other,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He'll know by how far away the call is where I am in the water, and know to locate me in the water,\" Roberta says. \"Ditto with John.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723446\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11723446 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-6-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"The kiss on the Bay.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The kiss on the Bay. \u003ccite>(Stephanie Lister/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Roberta recently had a hip replacement and John has dealt with heart arrhythmia. So their piercing vocalizations can be especially useful in rough conditions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like on the morning I meet up with them, about 15 minutes into their swim.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They’ve been keeping up a steady stroke, side by side. But because John’s wearing fins, in no time, he’s pulled far ahead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Roberta yells “Hey John!” to try to attract his attention. But he doesn't hear her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She's treading water, trying to figure out which of the several heads bobbing about in the distance belongs to her husband.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I can't tell which is you!\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time to bring out the dying seal. She yells out to John with her signature call. At first, no luck. So she tries again. Then suddenly, bouncing across the waves, comes the Rebel Yell.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>John swims towards his wife. They embrace, belt out one last call, and then make their way back to shore.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Thanks to the South End Rowing Club, and special thanks to club rowers Eli Rubel and Virginia Waik, and club swimmer Kristin Scheel, for their help with this story. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Cold water isn’t a well-known aphrodisiac. But for one California couple, the soggy depths of San Francisco Bay have long helped to stoke the flames of romance. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1549677361,"stats":{"hasAudio":true,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":38,"wordCount":755},"headData":{"title":"This Couple’s Wild Calls Display Passion for Swimming, Safety — and Each Other | KQED","description":"Cold water isn’t a well-known aphrodisiac. But for one California couple, the soggy depths of San Francisco Bay have long helped to stoke the flames of romance. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11723406 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11723406","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2019/02/09/this-couples-wild-calls-display-passion-for-swimming-safety-and-each-other/","disqusTitle":"This Couple’s Wild Calls Display Passion for Swimming, Safety — and Each Other","videoEmbed":"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMzyXixOP3c","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcrmag/2019/02/VeltmanBellowingLoveCalls.mp3","audioTrackLength":312,"path":"/news/11723406/this-couples-wild-calls-display-passion-for-swimming-safety-and-each-other","audioDuration":322000,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>On a cold, grey winter morning, Roberta Guise and John Rohosky greet each other on the dock outside their swim club.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Heya bruiser,\" Roberta says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"How ya doin', doll?\" her husband responds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cold water isn’t a well-known aphrodisiac. But for this California couple, the soggy depths of San Francisco Bay have long helped to stoke the flames of romance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723442\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11723442\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-4-800x573.jpg\" alt=\"Roberta and John head out for their swim.\" width=\"800\" height=\"573\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-4-800x573.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-4-160x115.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-4.jpg 850w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Roberta and John head out for their swim. \u003ccite>(Stephanie Lister/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Roberta and John, who are both in their 70s, swim in the Bay several times a week. It's an activity that has played a central role in their relationship for more than 30 years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You could say our lives are designed around the swimming schedule,\" says John with a chuckle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>John and Roberta are longtime members of the \u003ca href=\"https://serc.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">South End Rowing Club\u003c/a>, a San Francisco institution dating back to the 1870s.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723447\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11723447 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-5-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Out on the Bay.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Out on the Bay. \u003ccite>(Stephanie Lister/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>On this particular morning, he’s sporting a black speedo, a red swim-cap and bright green fins. She’s in a black one piece and canary yellow cap.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The conditions aren't ideal. A big storm has just blown through, leaving debris, including floating logs, all over the shore and shallows.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With the fast-moving current, John decides to go in backwards. Roberta is doubtful about how easy it'll be to swim back in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And the water’s chilly, even by these veteran swimmers’ standards, at around 50 degrees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So for safety, Roberta and John have developed this highly distinctive call and response system.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Listen to John's call here:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003caudio controls=\"controls\">\u003csource src=\"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcrmag/2019/02/JohnRebelYellCall.mp3\">\u003c/source>\u003c/audio> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Listen to Roberta's call here:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003caudio controls=\"controls\">\u003csource src=\"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcrmag/2019/02/RobertaDyingSealCall.mp3\">\u003c/source>\u003c/audio> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I call it 'dying seal,'\" says John of his wife's call. \"But I don’t think Roberta likes that name.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>John says his call — which he calls the 'Rebel Yell' — puts him in the fighting spirit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's what the Confederate soldiers used to do before they charged the Union lines,\" John says. \"It's supposed to scare everybody.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Roberta’s call is also wild. But in a different way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I didn't pick the seal sound; it picked me,\" she says. \"That's just what came out. And it stuck.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723443\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11723443 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-3-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Roberta and John outside the South End Rowing Club.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Roberta and John outside the South End Rowing Club. \u003ccite>(Stephanie Lister/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Roberta and John met at the club in the 1980s, and started using their calls soon after they became involved in a clandestine romance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Originally, we didn't want people to know that we had made it official,\" Roberta says of those early days. \"So that, I believe, is how we started those calls. They were like a secret code.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They’d use the calls to find out if the other one was around at the club. Roberta would call to see if John was there. And vice versa.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Roberta and John went public about their relationship, they also started to put their calls to a different use.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When Roberta and I started swimming together more regularly, it was a good way to signal to each other,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He'll know by how far away the call is where I am in the water, and know to locate me in the water,\" Roberta says. \"Ditto with John.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11723446\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11723446 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/02/bay-swimmers-6-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"The kiss on the Bay.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The kiss on the Bay. \u003ccite>(Stephanie Lister/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Roberta recently had a hip replacement and John has dealt with heart arrhythmia. So their piercing vocalizations can be especially useful in rough conditions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like on the morning I meet up with them, about 15 minutes into their swim.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They’ve been keeping up a steady stroke, side by side. But because John’s wearing fins, in no time, he’s pulled far ahead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Roberta yells “Hey John!” to try to attract his attention. But he doesn't hear her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She's treading water, trying to figure out which of the several heads bobbing about in the distance belongs to her husband.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I can't tell which is you!\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time to bring out the dying seal. She yells out to John with her signature call. At first, no luck. So she tries again. Then suddenly, bouncing across the waves, comes the Rebel Yell.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>John swims towards his wife. They embrace, belt out one last call, and then make their way back to shore.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Thanks to the South End Rowing Club, and special thanks to club rowers Eli Rubel and Virginia Waik, and club swimmer Kristin Scheel, for their help with this story. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11723406/this-couples-wild-calls-display-passion-for-swimming-safety-and-each-other","authors":["8608"],"programs":["news_72"],"categories":["news_223","news_19906","news_8"],"tags":["news_20856","news_1861","news_18383","news_2301"],"featImg":"news_11723439","label":"news_72"},"news_11649015":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11649015","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11649015","score":null,"sort":[1518199988000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"two-vets-in-love-if-you-came-to-see-the-bride-youre-out-of-luck","title":"Two Vets in Love: 'If You Came To See The Bride, You're Out Of Luck'","publishDate":1518199988,"format":"standard","headTitle":"The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{},"content":"\u003cp>When John Banvard, 100, met Gerard \"Jerry\" Nadeau, 72, in 1993, neither of them had been openly gay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When we met, we were sort of in the closet, and I'd never had a real relationship. Now, we've been together almost 25 years,\" Jerry tells John during a StoryCorps interview.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"What would it have been like if you didn't meet me?\" Jerry asks John.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I would have continued being lonely,\" John says. \"I'd been absolutely lost.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Both are veterans, having served in World War II (John) and Vietnam (Jerry), and when they moved into the veterans home together in the Southern California city of Chula Vista in 2010, Jerry says people there wondered what their relationship was.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Well, when we got married, they knew what our relationship was,\" Jerry says, laughing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The couple married in 2013, and John says he was surprised by the warm reception they received. \"I was expecting we'd be ridiculed, and there was very little of that,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We'd gotten married at the veterans home, and we said, 'If you came to see the bride, you're out of luck.' Do you remember that?\" Jerry asks John.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Yes, of course,\" John says. The two indulge in the memory of a casual wedding — a frank display, if you will, of their unabashed love — featuring hot dogs as a main course, which, John says, \"is hardly wedding food.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, their achievement was affirmed by a simple introduction. \"I was with you in the cafeteria, and somebody came up with their family, and they said, 'This is Gerard Nadeau, and this is his husband, John,' \" Jerry recounts. \"I'd never heard that before.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Yes, that was very nice,\" John says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You've made my life complete,\" Jerry tells John.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I could say the same to you,\" John replied. \"I think we're probably as happy together as any two people you're likely to meet.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Produced for \u003c/em>Morning Edition\u003cem> by Liyna Anwar.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>StoryCorps is a national nonprofit that gives people the chance to interview friends and loved ones about their lives. These conversations are archived at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress, allowing participants to leave a legacy for future generations. Learn more, including how to interview someone in your life, at \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"http://storycorps.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cem>StoryCorps.org\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=2+Vets+Celebrate+Love%3A+%27If+You+Came+To+See+The+Bride%2C+You%27re+Out+Of+Luck%27&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"When Jerry Nadeau, 72, a Vietnam vet, met his husband, John Banvard, 100, a World War II vet, neither had been openly gay. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1518217595,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":17,"wordCount":399},"headData":{"title":"Two Vets in Love: 'If You Came To See The Bride, You're Out Of Luck' | KQED","description":"When Jerry Nadeau, 72, a Vietnam vet, met his husband, John Banvard, 100, a World War II vet, neither had been openly gay. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11649015 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11649015","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2018/02/09/two-vets-in-love-if-you-came-to-see-the-bride-youre-out-of-luck/","disqusTitle":"Two Vets in Love: 'If You Came To See The Bride, You're Out Of Luck'","source":"NPR","sourceUrl":"www.npr.org","nprByline":"Emma Bowman","nprImageAgency":"Cam Buker for StoryCorps","nprStoryId":"583998949","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=583998949&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/2018/02/09/583998949/two-vets-celebrate-love-if-you-came-to-see-the-bride-you-re-out-of-luck?ft=nprml&f=583998949","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Fri, 09 Feb 2018 08:49:00 -0500","nprStoryDate":"Fri, 09 Feb 2018 04:52:06 -0500","nprLastModifiedDate":"Fri, 09 Feb 2018 08:49:38 -0500","nprAudio":"https://ondemand.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/me/2018/02/20180209_me_two_vets_celebrate_love_if_you_came_to_see_the_bride_youre_out_of_luck.mp3?orgId=1&topicId=1022&aggIds=4516989&d=158&p=3&story=583998949&ft=nprml&f=583998949","nprAudioM3u":"http://api.npr.org/m3u/1584451917-020271.m3u?orgId=1&topicId=1022&aggIds=4516989&d=158&p=3&story=583998949&ft=nprml&f=583998949","path":"/news/11649015/two-vets-in-love-if-you-came-to-see-the-bride-youre-out-of-luck","audioUrl":"https://ondemand.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/me/2018/02/20180209_me_two_vets_celebrate_love_if_you_came_to_see_the_bride_youre_out_of_luck.mp3?orgId=1&topicId=1022&aggIds=4516989&d=158&p=3&story=583998949&ft=nprml&f=583998949","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>When John Banvard, 100, met Gerard \"Jerry\" Nadeau, 72, in 1993, neither of them had been openly gay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When we met, we were sort of in the closet, and I'd never had a real relationship. Now, we've been together almost 25 years,\" Jerry tells John during a StoryCorps interview.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"What would it have been like if you didn't meet me?\" Jerry asks John.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I would have continued being lonely,\" John says. \"I'd been absolutely lost.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Both are veterans, having served in World War II (John) and Vietnam (Jerry), and when they moved into the veterans home together in the Southern California city of Chula Vista in 2010, Jerry says people there wondered what their relationship was.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Well, when we got married, they knew what our relationship was,\" Jerry says, laughing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The couple married in 2013, and John says he was surprised by the warm reception they received. \"I was expecting we'd be ridiculed, and there was very little of that,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We'd gotten married at the veterans home, and we said, 'If you came to see the bride, you're out of luck.' Do you remember that?\" Jerry asks John.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Yes, of course,\" John says. The two indulge in the memory of a casual wedding — a frank display, if you will, of their unabashed love — featuring hot dogs as a main course, which, John says, \"is hardly wedding food.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, their achievement was affirmed by a simple introduction. \"I was with you in the cafeteria, and somebody came up with their family, and they said, 'This is Gerard Nadeau, and this is his husband, John,' \" Jerry recounts. \"I'd never heard that before.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Yes, that was very nice,\" John says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You've made my life complete,\" Jerry tells John.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I could say the same to you,\" John replied. \"I think we're probably as happy together as any two people you're likely to meet.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Produced for \u003c/em>Morning Edition\u003cem> by Liyna Anwar.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>StoryCorps is a national nonprofit that gives people the chance to interview friends and loved ones about their lives. These conversations are archived at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress, allowing participants to leave a legacy for future generations. Learn more, including how to interview someone in your life, at \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"http://storycorps.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cem>StoryCorps.org\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=2+Vets+Celebrate+Love%3A+%27If+You+Came+To+See+The+Bride%2C+You%27re+Out+Of+Luck%27&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11649015/two-vets-in-love-if-you-came-to-see-the-bride-youre-out-of-luck","authors":["byline_news_11649015"],"programs":["news_6944","news_72"],"categories":["news_8"],"tags":["news_20856","news_17286","news_237"],"featImg":"news_11649016","label":"source_news_11649015"},"news_11429742":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11429742","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11429742","score":null,"sort":[1493481604000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"an-immigrant-love-story-four-decades-in-the-making","title":"An Immigrant Love Story, Four Decades in the Making","publishDate":1493481604,"format":"audio","headTitle":"USC | The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":72,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>This story is part of “\u003ca href=\"http://annenberg.usc.edu/news/students/usc-annenberg-student-journalists-kqeds-california-report-publish-joint-investigation\">At Risk in the Trump Era\u003c/a>,” a four-month investigation by USC Annenberg advanced radio students, exploring how vulnerable communities across Southern California react to the first months of Donald Trump’s presidency. The series profiles individuals burdened by new worries — looking for work, signing up for school, or even deciding whether to publicly express their sexual orientation or religious affiliation. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://paolamardo.com/\">Paola Mardo'\u003c/a>s story focuses on \"Tess\" and \"Marco,\" who are among the more than 300,000 undocumented Filipinos in the U.S. -- forced from their home country because of poverty, corruption and a deadly drug war. They’ve asked to change their names for this story because they don’t want to put their community or their relationship at risk.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess and Marco's love story started when they were teenagers. It was Marco who first caught the love bug.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I love her since we were in high school,” says Marco.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“He was my buddy-buddy and he was my best friend. And I didn’t even know that he got interest in me,” Tess smiles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess didn’t know about Marco’s feelings partly because he was planning to be a priest. His Catholic family and everyone at school knew it. So even though they cared for each other, Tess and Marco stayed “buddy-buddy” in high school, and then parted ways after graduation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But when priesthood didn’t work out, Marco always kept Tess in mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Four times I dream of her,” Marco remembers. “1989, 1992, ’98, and 2002.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[contextly_sidebar id=\"9o1Bghaic4Q7ZjmfMnN3z1Hl0oVg1n6Q\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then in 2012, 37 years after graduation, they finally reconnected. Their romance rekindled when Marco began searching for Tess on Facebook.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One day, Marco got the idea to search for his high school class. “Ping! Voila,” he grins.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“‘Hi. Remember me?’ That’s what he said.” Tess recalls. He sent her a few more messages after that: “‘I’m adding you as a friend. You’re not accepting yet.'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It took Tess a few days to confirm this was the Marco she knew from high school decades ago. So much time had passed and she wanted to be sure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When she got Marco's message, Tess was in Los Angeles working as a caregiver and domestic worker for the sick and elderly. Marco was in Saudi Arabia, managing a printing press for an Arabic newspaper. Though they were 8,000 miles apart, they began messaging each other or having online video chats almost every day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11429832\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11429832 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Tess and Marco play sungka, a traditional Filipino mancala game.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-1920x1440.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-1180x885.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-960x720.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-375x281.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-520x390.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Tess and Marco play sungka, a traditional Filipino mancala game. \u003ccite>(Paola Mardo)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Marco sifts through their old Facebook messages and reads them aloud. “I told her, ‘Take care always and bear in mind always that I love you very much.'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We felt like we’re in high school again,\" says Tess. “But it was so corny. So corny because we’re already old!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Marco translates another message and laughs. “I told her, ‘You look old!’ She told me, ‘What do you expect? \u003cem>Sa hirap ng pinagdaanan ko\u003c/em>?’ (After the difficulties I’ve been through?)”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess's life was troubled after high school. Before coming to America, she was married to an abusive husband in Manila. Tess says he was possessive, hit her and was emotionally abusive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After her husband left his job and gambled away their savings, Tess was forced to look for overseas caregiver jobs to support their kids and make ends meet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many of these jobs were in the U.S., where she was forced to work long hours. Tess recalls a harrowing experience in which one employer refused to feed her, and she was forced to eat dog food.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11429835\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11429835 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Tess paints at home to take her mind off recent immigration news.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-1920x1440.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-1180x885.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-960x720.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-375x281.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-520x390.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Tess paints at home to take her mind off recent immigration news. \u003ccite>(Paola Mardo)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Tess rarely saw the money she was paid for these jobs. It wasn’t until much later that she realized she’d been a victim of labor trafficking. When she finally escaped her last abusive employer, she followed one of her daughters, who had moved to Los Angeles. It wasn’t an easy transition.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I worked job after job,” Tess recalls. “I was homeless that time, trying to establish myself alone.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess got a divorce and wanted to restart her life. Marco was in a similar rut. He grew tired of living so far from friends and family in Saudi Arabia. That’s when he sent Tess that fateful friend request. And after months of chatting, he saved up some money to visit her in L.A.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess remembers the moment she saw Marco at the airport, the first time she laid eyes on him after 37 years. “I said, ‘This is for real? Wow, he’s still cute!’ ” She beats her chest and voices the sound of a fast-beating heart: “Boog-boog! Boog-boog!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We just meet at the middle and then I kiss her,” Marco recalls, smacking his lips together. “Muah! Only in cheek. I whisper her, ‘I’m going to kneel and then propose with you to marry me.’ And then she told me, ‘No, no! Not here!’ ”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11429834\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11429834 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Tess and Marco visit a community center where the flags of the United States and the Philippines are displayed next to images of Filipino veterans of the United States Army Forces in the Far East (USAFFE).\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-1920x1440.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-1180x885.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-960x720.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-375x281.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-520x390.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Tess and Marco visit a community center where the flags of the United States and the Philippines are displayed next to images of Filipino veterans of the United States Army Forces in the Far East (USAFFE). \u003ccite>(Paola Mardo)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Tess had overstayed her visa. She was worried she would get picked up by U.S. customs agents if they attracted too much attention at the airport. So Marco withheld his proposal, but he moved in with her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When his visa is about to expire, I said to him, ‘So what’s your plan? You can go back.’ ” Tess said. “He said, ‘No, I’m not going to leave you anymore with these things happening to you. We’re going to live here.’ ”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess is now a caregiver for employers that she says treat her well and give her fair pay. Marco is a maintenance worker and usually the house chef.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[contextly_sidebar id=\"2pbzTxX7TULwqIjsDVdgOapotRq3txhJ\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He and Tess share a laugh. But the risk is real.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After hearing about an immigration raid in Los Angeles targeting undocumented Filipinos, Tess and Marco attend a “Know Your Rights” workshop. In a crowded room, undocumented Filipino immigrants watch as volunteers act out what to do if ICE comes knocking: Don't sign anything, don't give agents permission to search you or your home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the workshop, Tess leads the group in a Tagalog song about the struggles of the immigrant experience: “\u003cem>Ang buhay ng migrante isang mahabang laban\u003c/em>,\" or \"The life of an immigrant is one long fight.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11429836\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11429836 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"A poster hangs by the entrance to a community center that Tess and Marco visit.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-1920x1440.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-1180x885.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-960x720.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-375x281.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-520x390.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">A poster hangs by the entrance to a community center that Tess and Marco visit. \u003ccite>(Paola Mardo)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Tess looks around the room. Though most people are in good spirits, there are many scared and anxious faces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There’s an old saying in Tagalog: “\u003cem>Bahala na\u003c/em>.” It means “come what may” or “whatever happens, happens.” It’s how Tess and Marco look at their situation. Fate brought them together, and fate will keep them together in America, they say, no matter what.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We have established a good life here in America. We built our dream after 37 years,” Tess says. “But if I’ll be deported, I’ll fight for my rights. Until the last breath. I’ll fight for it.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We will fight,” Marco says. “Fight, fight, fight.”\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Undocumented couple say fate brought them together, and fate will keep them together in America.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1493425939,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":38,"wordCount":1342},"headData":{"title":"An Immigrant Love Story, Four Decades in the Making | KQED","description":"Undocumented couple say fate brought them together, and fate will keep them together in America.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11429742 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11429742","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2017/04/29/an-immigrant-love-story-four-decades-in-the-making/","disqusTitle":"An Immigrant Love Story, Four Decades in the Making","audioUrl":"http://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcrmag/2017/04/2017-04-28b-tcrmag.mp3","guestFields":"0","nprByline":"Paola Mardo","path":"/news/11429742/an-immigrant-love-story-four-decades-in-the-making","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>This story is part of “\u003ca href=\"http://annenberg.usc.edu/news/students/usc-annenberg-student-journalists-kqeds-california-report-publish-joint-investigation\">At Risk in the Trump Era\u003c/a>,” a four-month investigation by USC Annenberg advanced radio students, exploring how vulnerable communities across Southern California react to the first months of Donald Trump’s presidency. The series profiles individuals burdened by new worries — looking for work, signing up for school, or even deciding whether to publicly express their sexual orientation or religious affiliation. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://paolamardo.com/\">Paola Mardo'\u003c/a>s story focuses on \"Tess\" and \"Marco,\" who are among the more than 300,000 undocumented Filipinos in the U.S. -- forced from their home country because of poverty, corruption and a deadly drug war. They’ve asked to change their names for this story because they don’t want to put their community or their relationship at risk.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess and Marco's love story started when they were teenagers. It was Marco who first caught the love bug.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I love her since we were in high school,” says Marco.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“He was my buddy-buddy and he was my best friend. And I didn’t even know that he got interest in me,” Tess smiles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess didn’t know about Marco’s feelings partly because he was planning to be a priest. His Catholic family and everyone at school knew it. So even though they cared for each other, Tess and Marco stayed “buddy-buddy” in high school, and then parted ways after graduation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But when priesthood didn’t work out, Marco always kept Tess in mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Four times I dream of her,” Marco remembers. “1989, 1992, ’98, and 2002.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then in 2012, 37 years after graduation, they finally reconnected. Their romance rekindled when Marco began searching for Tess on Facebook.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One day, Marco got the idea to search for his high school class. “Ping! Voila,” he grins.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“‘Hi. Remember me?’ That’s what he said.” Tess recalls. He sent her a few more messages after that: “‘I’m adding you as a friend. You’re not accepting yet.'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It took Tess a few days to confirm this was the Marco she knew from high school decades ago. So much time had passed and she wanted to be sure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When she got Marco's message, Tess was in Los Angeles working as a caregiver and domestic worker for the sick and elderly. Marco was in Saudi Arabia, managing a printing press for an Arabic newspaper. Though they were 8,000 miles apart, they began messaging each other or having online video chats almost every day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11429832\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11429832 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Tess and Marco play sungka, a traditional Filipino mancala game.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-1920x1440.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-1180x885.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-960x720.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-375x281.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS-AND-MARCO-HANDS-520x390.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Tess and Marco play sungka, a traditional Filipino mancala game. \u003ccite>(Paola Mardo)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Marco sifts through their old Facebook messages and reads them aloud. “I told her, ‘Take care always and bear in mind always that I love you very much.'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We felt like we’re in high school again,\" says Tess. “But it was so corny. So corny because we’re already old!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Marco translates another message and laughs. “I told her, ‘You look old!’ She told me, ‘What do you expect? \u003cem>Sa hirap ng pinagdaanan ko\u003c/em>?’ (After the difficulties I’ve been through?)”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess's life was troubled after high school. Before coming to America, she was married to an abusive husband in Manila. Tess says he was possessive, hit her and was emotionally abusive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After her husband left his job and gambled away their savings, Tess was forced to look for overseas caregiver jobs to support their kids and make ends meet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many of these jobs were in the U.S., where she was forced to work long hours. Tess recalls a harrowing experience in which one employer refused to feed her, and she was forced to eat dog food.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11429835\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11429835 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Tess paints at home to take her mind off recent immigration news.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-1920x1440.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-1180x885.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-960x720.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-375x281.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/TESS_PAINTING-520x390.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Tess paints at home to take her mind off recent immigration news. \u003ccite>(Paola Mardo)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Tess rarely saw the money she was paid for these jobs. It wasn’t until much later that she realized she’d been a victim of labor trafficking. When she finally escaped her last abusive employer, she followed one of her daughters, who had moved to Los Angeles. It wasn’t an easy transition.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I worked job after job,” Tess recalls. “I was homeless that time, trying to establish myself alone.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess got a divorce and wanted to restart her life. Marco was in a similar rut. He grew tired of living so far from friends and family in Saudi Arabia. That’s when he sent Tess that fateful friend request. And after months of chatting, he saved up some money to visit her in L.A.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess remembers the moment she saw Marco at the airport, the first time she laid eyes on him after 37 years. “I said, ‘This is for real? Wow, he’s still cute!’ ” She beats her chest and voices the sound of a fast-beating heart: “Boog-boog! Boog-boog!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We just meet at the middle and then I kiss her,” Marco recalls, smacking his lips together. “Muah! Only in cheek. I whisper her, ‘I’m going to kneel and then propose with you to marry me.’ And then she told me, ‘No, no! Not here!’ ”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11429834\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11429834 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Tess and Marco visit a community center where the flags of the United States and the Philippines are displayed next to images of Filipino veterans of the United States Army Forces in the Far East (USAFFE).\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-1920x1440.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-1180x885.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-960x720.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-375x281.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FLAGS-520x390.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Tess and Marco visit a community center where the flags of the United States and the Philippines are displayed next to images of Filipino veterans of the United States Army Forces in the Far East (USAFFE). \u003ccite>(Paola Mardo)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Tess had overstayed her visa. She was worried she would get picked up by U.S. customs agents if they attracted too much attention at the airport. So Marco withheld his proposal, but he moved in with her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When his visa is about to expire, I said to him, ‘So what’s your plan? You can go back.’ ” Tess said. “He said, ‘No, I’m not going to leave you anymore with these things happening to you. We’re going to live here.’ ”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess is now a caregiver for employers that she says treat her well and give her fair pay. Marco is a maintenance worker and usually the house chef.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He and Tess share a laugh. But the risk is real.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After hearing about an immigration raid in Los Angeles targeting undocumented Filipinos, Tess and Marco attend a “Know Your Rights” workshop. In a crowded room, undocumented Filipino immigrants watch as volunteers act out what to do if ICE comes knocking: Don't sign anything, don't give agents permission to search you or your home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the workshop, Tess leads the group in a Tagalog song about the struggles of the immigrant experience: “\u003cem>Ang buhay ng migrante isang mahabang laban\u003c/em>,\" or \"The life of an immigrant is one long fight.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11429836\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-11429836 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"A poster hangs by the entrance to a community center that Tess and Marco visit.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-1920x1440.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-1180x885.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-960x720.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-375x281.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/04/FIGHTERS-520x390.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">A poster hangs by the entrance to a community center that Tess and Marco visit. \u003ccite>(Paola Mardo)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Tess looks around the room. Though most people are in good spirits, there are many scared and anxious faces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There’s an old saying in Tagalog: “\u003cem>Bahala na\u003c/em>.” It means “come what may” or “whatever happens, happens.” It’s how Tess and Marco look at their situation. Fate brought them together, and fate will keep them together in America, they say, no matter what.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We have established a good life here in America. We built our dream after 37 years,” Tess says. “But if I’ll be deported, I’ll fight for my rights. Until the last breath. I’ll fight for it.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We will fight,” Marco says. “Fight, fight, fight.”\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11429742/an-immigrant-love-story-four-decades-in-the-making","authors":["byline_news_11429742"],"programs":["news_72"],"series":["news_20860"],"categories":["news_1169","news_8"],"tags":["news_5056","news_20856","news_5055","news_5762","news_17286","news_20529","news_244"],"featImg":"news_11429831","label":"news_72"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.","airtime":"SUN 2pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/possible-5gxfizEbKOJ-pbF5ASgxrs_.1400x1400.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.possible.fm/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Possible"},"link":"/radio/program/possible","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/possible/id1677184070","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/730YpdUSNlMyPQwNnyjp4k"}},"1a":{"id":"1a","title":"1A","info":"1A is home to the national conversation. 1A brings on great guests and frames the best debate in ways that make you think, share and engage.","airtime":"MON-THU 11pm-12am","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/1a.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://the1a.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/1a","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=1188724250&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/1A-p947376/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510316/podcast.xml"}},"all-things-considered":{"id":"all-things-considered","title":"All Things Considered","info":"Every weekday, \u003cem>All Things Considered\u003c/em> hosts Robert Siegel, Audie Cornish, Ari Shapiro, and Kelly McEvers present the program's trademark mix of news, interviews, commentaries, reviews, and offbeat features. Michel Martin hosts on the weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 1pm-2pm, 4:30pm-6:30pm\u003cbr />SAT-SUN 5pm-6pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/ATC_1400.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.npr.org/programs/all-things-considered/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/all-things-considered"},"american-suburb-podcast":{"id":"american-suburb-podcast","title":"American Suburb: The Podcast","tagline":"The flip side of gentrification, told through one town","info":"Gentrification is changing cities across America, forcing people from neighborhoods they have long called home. Call them the displaced. Now those priced out of the Bay Area are looking for a better life in an unlikely place. American Suburb follows this migration to one California town along the Delta, 45 miles from San Francisco. But is this once sleepy suburb ready for them?","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/powerpress/1440_0018_AmericanSuburb_iTunesTile_01.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"13"},"link":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?mt=2&id=1287748328","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/American-Suburb-p1086805/","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkMzMDExODgxNjA5"}},"baycurious":{"id":"baycurious","title":"Bay Curious","tagline":"Exploring the Bay Area, one question at a time","info":"KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/powerpress/1440_0017_BayCurious_iTunesTile_01.jpg","imageAlt":"\"KQED Bay Curious","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/baycurious","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"4"},"link":"/podcasts/baycurious","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bay-curious/id1172473406","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/500557090/bay-curious","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/category/bay-curious-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93dzIua3FlZC5vcmcvbmV3cy9jYXRlZ29yeS9iYXktY3VyaW91cy1wb2RjYXN0L2ZlZWQvcG9kY2FzdA","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/bay-curious","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/6O76IdmhixfijmhTZLIJ8k"}},"bbc-world-service":{"id":"bbc-world-service","title":"BBC World Service","info":"The day's top stories from BBC News compiled twice daily in the week, once at weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9pm-10pm, TUE-FRI 1am-2am","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/2021/10/BBC_1400.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/live:bbc_world_service","meta":{"site":"news","source":"BBC World Service"},"link":"/radio/program/bbc-world-service","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/global-news-podcast/id135067274?mt=2","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/BBC-World-Service-p455581/","rss":"https://podcasts.files.bbci.co.uk/p02nq0gn.rss"}},"code-switch-life-kit":{"id":"code-switch-life-kit","title":"Code Switch / Life Kit","info":"\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />","airtime":"SUN 9pm-10pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/CodeSwitchLifeKit_StationGraphics_300x300EmailGraphic.png","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/code-switch-life-kit","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/1112190608?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy9yc3MvcG9kY2FzdC5waHA_aWQ9NTEwMzEy","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3bExJ9JQpkwNhoHvaIIuyV","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510312/podcast.xml"}},"commonwealth-club":{"id":"commonwealth-club","title":"Commonwealth Club of California Podcast","info":"The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. 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