10 Hacks to Boost Teens' Executive Function Skills and Manage Screen Time
How Parents Can Help Children with ADHD Thrive in Friendships
The Two Types of Independence Growing Tweens Need to Practice
Why We Need to Pay More Attention to the Youngest Children and Their Parents
Kindness Vs. Cruelty: Helping Kids Hear The Better Angels Of Their Nature
Concrete Ways To Help Students Self-Regulate And Prioritize Work
Five Ways to Help Children with ADHD Develop Their Strengths
How Parents Can Create a Nightly Homework Ritual for Reluctant Children
How Reverse Planning for Goals Can Help Students Succeed in School
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Something as simple as an audible notification can draw focus away from a task. And when humans are distracted, it takes 23 minutes to get back to that previous level of focus. In schools, that means that in a 55-minute class period, multiple distractions across the classroom create an almost impossible task of staying on topic and focused. “When you toggle between two things, you lose cognitive energy and it takes a lot longer to get into deep focus,” said school psychologist \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tiktok.com/@thrivingstudents\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Rebecca Branstetter\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Teens “don’t realize that multitasking is neurologically impossible.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Branstetter recently spoke at the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.learningandthebrain.com/conference-514/teaching-engaged-brains/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Learning and The Brain: Teaching Engaged Brains\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> conference in San Francisco, where she cited the above statistics from the book \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://stolenfocusbook.com/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stolen Focus\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> by Johann Hari. When Branstetter asked about challenges with screens in the classroom, the audience of teachers shouted out familiar student behaviors, including: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">playing games during a lesson,\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">denying their phone was out when it was visible and\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">showing up tired from scrolling all night long.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">These distractions aren’t only frustrating for educators, research shows they reduce cognitive efficiency. Because social media is designed to keep users engaged for long periods of time, and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/48315/why-executive-function-skills-take-so-long-to-fully-develop\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">kids and teens are still learning executive function skills\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, it’s important for parents and teachers to set boundaries and serve as tech mentors, she said. “Willpower alone is not enough. You have to require that environment to set the stage for how to help kids prioritize and focus.” In her talk and a follow-up interview with MindShift, Branstetter offered 10 tips and hacks to help boost teen’s executive function skills and manage screen time. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>1. See tech as a tool\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Technology is like a hammer, said Branstetter. “It’s a tool, and you can use it to create beautiful things and you can create to destroy things. It depends on how you use it.” Adults can help to empower kids to see tech as a tool by encouraging them to find an app or tech tool that will address a specific challenge they are facing. If a teen is dealing with anxiety, for example, they can test out a few meditation apps and report back to the adult.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Branstetter also pointed out that there are apps that block the most searched websites on a device for a period of time, which can be useful for a student having a hard time focusing on tasks for extended periods of time.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>2. Coach through task initiation\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Task initiation is one of the big \u003ca href=\"https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/what-is-executive-function-and-how-does-it-relate-to-child-development/\">executive function skills\u003c/a> that are interrupted by technology and cell phone use, according to Branstetter. Adults might assume that stopping a previous task is an obvious precursor to initiating a new task, but kids and teens might need more explicit instruction to develop that sequencing habit. This can look like asking students what needs to be done in order to start a specific task. Students might suggest that phones need to go away and that they need to pull out necessary materials to perform the new task at hand. According to Branstetter, this is an important practice in self-awareness. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>3. Probe for the feelings behind phone distractions\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Impulse control is another executive function skill that teens are developing. If a student is having trouble refraining from looking at their phone when initiating a new task, it can help to encourage quick mindful reflection. An adult can ask a teen, “What is it that’s making you go on your phone?” and suggest some feelings like anxiety or boredom that they might identify with. Then the adult and teen can create a quick plan for stopping phone use at that moment and refocusing on the more immediate task.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>4. Try the scrunchie trick or airplane mode\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Putting a scrunchie over the front camera prevents smartphone facial recognition from effortlessly unlocking aphone. Branstetter recommended guiding teens to use that moment when the phone doesn’t unlock for a mental check-in: “Why am I checking this? How do I feel?” If the scrunchie method doesn’t work, Branstetter suggested teaching teens to use airplane mode during a time when phone distractions are unwelcome.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>5. Take advantage of A.I.\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There are also some useful A.I. tools for teens who might struggle with task breakdown and completion. Branstetter recommended \u003ca href=\"https://goblin.tools/About\">Goblin Tools\u003c/a>, which takes a prompt like “I have to write a five-page paper on Mesopotamia,” and creates a checklist with the steps that a student might need to do to complete the assignment.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>6. Use a focus timer\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51765/procrastinating-still-how-a-tomato-timer-can-help-you-stop-putting-things-off\">Pomodoro technique\u003c/a>, which uses 25-minute bursts of focused time with breaks in between, has been a useful tool for the teens that Branstetter works with. She also recommended \u003ca href=\"https://www.forestapp.cc/\">Forest\u003c/a>, which can be downloaded as a smartphone app or used as a Chrome extension. Forest helps users track their focus time with a visual reminder of focus as a tree slowly grows on the screen, as well as real-world incentive. When a user completes a certain amount of focus time, without distraction, a real tree is planted through Forest app’s partner, Trees For The Future.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>7. Create a tech contract\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/featured-content/files/common_sense_family_media_agreement.pdf\">Tech agreements\u003c/a> or contracts, allow teachers or parents to \u003ca href=\"https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/heres-real-proof-that-a-cellphone-contract-works\">collaborate with young people on expectations\u003c/a> for technology. One aspect of a tech agreement can be determining where the technology “hot spots” and “cold spots” are in the classroom or home. By predetermining where technology is expected to be used or not to be used, students have a better chance at applying their learned executive functioning and anticipatory thinking skills. Tech agreements can be \u003ca href=\"https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/our-sons-behavior-improved-with-a-tech-agreement\">revisited and adjusted\u003c/a> as often as needed, said Branstetter.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>8. Keep a technology diary\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Another exercise that parents and teachers might find useful when it comes to making teens aware of their own habits, is to have them create a log of their daily activities, said Branstetter. For example, students can write a timeline of their day and determine how much time is spent outside, doing physical activity, socializing, having fun, focusing, and downtime without technology. By having kids take the time to reflect on their own data and see how much time is spent during their day doing certain activities, the unbalanced moments become very apparent, said Branstetter.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>9. Encourage future thinking\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Future planning is \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/50947/how-reverse-planning-for-goals-can-help-students-succeed-in-school\">also a learned executive function skill\u003c/a>. “Because motivation is the ability to see a positive emotion of the future … we need to help kids do a future sketch,” said Branstetter. Helping students visualize what it might look like and feel like in the future to complete a task will help them with anticipatory thinking.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Branstetter likes doing a future sketch that she calls a “movie in your mind.” For example, if a teacher notices a student on their phone when they should be completing a math task, they might say something like this: “Here’s the movie that is playing in my mind right now. You have your phone out and there’s a no-phone policy, so I’m supposed to take it from you, and that’s how the movie ends, with me taking it.” The teacher then prompts the student to narrate how an episode might play out if they finish their math task versus if they don’t finish their math task. The teacher can then simply ask, “which one feels better to you?” leaving the anticipatory thinking to the student.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>10. Reinforce positive behaviors\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Branstetter has also seen success in positive reinforcement from adults when it’s specific and sincere. She said praise is best paired with corrective feedback in a 5:1 ratio. But with teenagers, praise is not often received as well if it’s made publicly, so try to offer both praise and corrective feedback in quieter, more private settings. When it comes to regulating screen time in the classroom, praise can be as simple as saying to a student, “I haven’t seen you with your phone all day in my class,” Branstetter suggested in her conference session.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Teens’ focus is interrupted, on average, every 90 seconds. A school psychologist offers tips to help them manage distractions, including their phones, in school.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1712270559,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":17,"wordCount":1400},"headData":{"title":"10 Hacks to Boost Teens' Executive Function Skills and Manage Screen Time | KQED","description":"Teens’ focus is interrupted, on average, every 90 seconds. A school psychologist offers tips to help them manage distractions, including their phones.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"Teens’ focus is interrupted, on average, every 90 seconds. A school psychologist offers tips to help them manage distractions, including their phones.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"10 Hacks to Boost Teens' Executive Function Skills and Manage Screen Time","datePublished":"2024-04-02T01:00:57.000Z","dateModified":"2024-04-04T22:42:39.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/63441/10-hacks-to-boost-teens-executive-function-skills-and-manage-screen-time","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Teens’ focus is interrupted, on average, every 90 seconds. Something as simple as an audible notification can draw focus away from a task. And when humans are distracted, it takes 23 minutes to get back to that previous level of focus. In schools, that means that in a 55-minute class period, multiple distractions across the classroom create an almost impossible task of staying on topic and focused. “When you toggle between two things, you lose cognitive energy and it takes a lot longer to get into deep focus,” said school psychologist \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tiktok.com/@thrivingstudents\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Rebecca Branstetter\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Teens “don’t realize that multitasking is neurologically impossible.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Branstetter recently spoke at the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.learningandthebrain.com/conference-514/teaching-engaged-brains/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Learning and The Brain: Teaching Engaged Brains\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> conference in San Francisco, where she cited the above statistics from the book \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://stolenfocusbook.com/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stolen Focus\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> by Johann Hari. When Branstetter asked about challenges with screens in the classroom, the audience of teachers shouted out familiar student behaviors, including: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">playing games during a lesson,\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">denying their phone was out when it was visible and\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">showing up tired from scrolling all night long.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">These distractions aren’t only frustrating for educators, research shows they reduce cognitive efficiency. Because social media is designed to keep users engaged for long periods of time, and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/48315/why-executive-function-skills-take-so-long-to-fully-develop\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">kids and teens are still learning executive function skills\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, it’s important for parents and teachers to set boundaries and serve as tech mentors, she said. “Willpower alone is not enough. You have to require that environment to set the stage for how to help kids prioritize and focus.” In her talk and a follow-up interview with MindShift, Branstetter offered 10 tips and hacks to help boost teen’s executive function skills and manage screen time. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>1. See tech as a tool\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Technology is like a hammer, said Branstetter. “It’s a tool, and you can use it to create beautiful things and you can create to destroy things. It depends on how you use it.” Adults can help to empower kids to see tech as a tool by encouraging them to find an app or tech tool that will address a specific challenge they are facing. If a teen is dealing with anxiety, for example, they can test out a few meditation apps and report back to the adult.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Branstetter also pointed out that there are apps that block the most searched websites on a device for a period of time, which can be useful for a student having a hard time focusing on tasks for extended periods of time.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>2. Coach through task initiation\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Task initiation is one of the big \u003ca href=\"https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/what-is-executive-function-and-how-does-it-relate-to-child-development/\">executive function skills\u003c/a> that are interrupted by technology and cell phone use, according to Branstetter. Adults might assume that stopping a previous task is an obvious precursor to initiating a new task, but kids and teens might need more explicit instruction to develop that sequencing habit. This can look like asking students what needs to be done in order to start a specific task. Students might suggest that phones need to go away and that they need to pull out necessary materials to perform the new task at hand. According to Branstetter, this is an important practice in self-awareness. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>3. Probe for the feelings behind phone distractions\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Impulse control is another executive function skill that teens are developing. If a student is having trouble refraining from looking at their phone when initiating a new task, it can help to encourage quick mindful reflection. An adult can ask a teen, “What is it that’s making you go on your phone?” and suggest some feelings like anxiety or boredom that they might identify with. Then the adult and teen can create a quick plan for stopping phone use at that moment and refocusing on the more immediate task.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>4. Try the scrunchie trick or airplane mode\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Putting a scrunchie over the front camera prevents smartphone facial recognition from effortlessly unlocking aphone. Branstetter recommended guiding teens to use that moment when the phone doesn’t unlock for a mental check-in: “Why am I checking this? How do I feel?” If the scrunchie method doesn’t work, Branstetter suggested teaching teens to use airplane mode during a time when phone distractions are unwelcome.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>5. Take advantage of A.I.\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There are also some useful A.I. tools for teens who might struggle with task breakdown and completion. Branstetter recommended \u003ca href=\"https://goblin.tools/About\">Goblin Tools\u003c/a>, which takes a prompt like “I have to write a five-page paper on Mesopotamia,” and creates a checklist with the steps that a student might need to do to complete the assignment.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>6. Use a focus timer\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51765/procrastinating-still-how-a-tomato-timer-can-help-you-stop-putting-things-off\">Pomodoro technique\u003c/a>, which uses 25-minute bursts of focused time with breaks in between, has been a useful tool for the teens that Branstetter works with. She also recommended \u003ca href=\"https://www.forestapp.cc/\">Forest\u003c/a>, which can be downloaded as a smartphone app or used as a Chrome extension. Forest helps users track their focus time with a visual reminder of focus as a tree slowly grows on the screen, as well as real-world incentive. When a user completes a certain amount of focus time, without distraction, a real tree is planted through Forest app’s partner, Trees For The Future.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>7. Create a tech contract\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/featured-content/files/common_sense_family_media_agreement.pdf\">Tech agreements\u003c/a> or contracts, allow teachers or parents to \u003ca href=\"https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/heres-real-proof-that-a-cellphone-contract-works\">collaborate with young people on expectations\u003c/a> for technology. One aspect of a tech agreement can be determining where the technology “hot spots” and “cold spots” are in the classroom or home. By predetermining where technology is expected to be used or not to be used, students have a better chance at applying their learned executive functioning and anticipatory thinking skills. Tech agreements can be \u003ca href=\"https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/our-sons-behavior-improved-with-a-tech-agreement\">revisited and adjusted\u003c/a> as often as needed, said Branstetter.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>8. Keep a technology diary\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Another exercise that parents and teachers might find useful when it comes to making teens aware of their own habits, is to have them create a log of their daily activities, said Branstetter. For example, students can write a timeline of their day and determine how much time is spent outside, doing physical activity, socializing, having fun, focusing, and downtime without technology. By having kids take the time to reflect on their own data and see how much time is spent during their day doing certain activities, the unbalanced moments become very apparent, said Branstetter.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>9. Encourage future thinking\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Future planning is \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/50947/how-reverse-planning-for-goals-can-help-students-succeed-in-school\">also a learned executive function skill\u003c/a>. “Because motivation is the ability to see a positive emotion of the future … we need to help kids do a future sketch,” said Branstetter. Helping students visualize what it might look like and feel like in the future to complete a task will help them with anticipatory thinking.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Branstetter likes doing a future sketch that she calls a “movie in your mind.” For example, if a teacher notices a student on their phone when they should be completing a math task, they might say something like this: “Here’s the movie that is playing in my mind right now. You have your phone out and there’s a no-phone policy, so I’m supposed to take it from you, and that’s how the movie ends, with me taking it.” The teacher then prompts the student to narrate how an episode might play out if they finish their math task versus if they don’t finish their math task. The teacher can then simply ask, “which one feels better to you?” leaving the anticipatory thinking to the student.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>10. Reinforce positive behaviors\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Branstetter has also seen success in positive reinforcement from adults when it’s specific and sincere. She said praise is best paired with corrective feedback in a 5:1 ratio. But with teenagers, praise is not often received as well if it’s made publicly, so try to offer both praise and corrective feedback in quieter, more private settings. When it comes to regulating screen time in the classroom, praise can be as simple as saying to a student, “I haven’t seen you with your phone all day in my class,” Branstetter suggested in her conference session.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/63441/10-hacks-to-boost-teens-executive-function-skills-and-manage-screen-time","authors":["11759"],"categories":["mindshift_21445","mindshift_195","mindshift_193"],"tags":["mindshift_1023","mindshift_866","mindshift_20955","mindshift_20816","mindshift_30","mindshift_1038"],"featImg":"mindshift_63443","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_61966":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_61966","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"61966","score":null,"sort":[1689040845000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-parents-can-help-children-with-adhd-thrive-in-friendships","title":"How Parents Can Help Children with ADHD Thrive in Friendships","publishDate":1689040845,"format":"standard","headTitle":"How Parents Can Help Children with ADHD Thrive in Friendships | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Vibrant” is how Caroline Poisson describes her seven-year-old son. “He’s incredible, enthusiastic and curious,” she said. “And then there’s a side of what we call kryptonite and we talk about his ADHD brain, where there are some things that are just really hard for him.” \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://childmind.org/article/helping-kids-who-struggle-with-executive-functions/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like many kids with ADHD\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, Poisson’s son struggles with executive function skills – the cognitive abilities that help people plan, stay organized, pay attention, control emotions and make decisions. Without a good grasp on these skills \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2827258/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">it can be hard to make friends and strengthen the social skills\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> needed to navigate adulthood. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents of kids with ADHD often say their kids miss social cues, such as when peers are bored, hurt or offended, according to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psych.ubc.ca/profile/amori-mikami/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Amori Mikami\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a psychology professor at the University of British Columbia in Canada. “It can lead to a lot of outbursts or temper tantrums or whining and complaining or arguing with the friend,” she said. Mikami researches peer relationships, specifically focusing on children with ADHD. Additionally, she developed a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/mono/10.4324/9781003221715/parents-friendship-coaches-children-adhd-amori-yee-mikami-s%C3%A9bastien-normand\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">parental friendship coaching (PFC) model\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> where parents of elementary school-age kids can learn to support their child in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/56979/what-the-research-says-about-the-academic-power-of-friendship\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">making friends\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">PFC programs can be found in participating mental health centers or specialized ADHD treatment centers. If a PFC program is not offered nearby, Mikami recommended sharing\u003ca href=\"https://www.routledge.com/Parents-as-Friendship-Coaches-for-Children-with-ADHD-A-Clinical-Guide/Mikami-Normand/p/book/9781032118284?gclid=CjwKCAjwzJmlBhBBEiwAEJyLu0horPV7Yoz2ngrgzlivLBHna-o6JZHExhSlDDcRd6Qti5XHj7KltxoCEHAQAvD_BwE\"> a link\u003c/a> to the treatment manual with a local provider who has experience providing behavioral parent training for families of kids with ADHD and can work with the family to implement the treatment.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Participants meet with mental health professionals and other parents of kids with ADHD for 10 sessions over several weeks to practice strategies to improve their child’s social behavior. While the parental friendship coaching model can be used individually, a group format lends itself to community and collaboration among parents. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15374416.2017.1390757?journalCode=hcap20\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research trials\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of PFC\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> have shown improvement in children’s \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">social behaviors such as taking turns, sharing and negotiating. A key goal for many parents who use this approach is to help their child have successful playdates and — ideally — deepen their friendships.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Poisson, who found a PFC program online, had been in counseling herself after her son’s diagnosis and felt the program was a way that she could build on that support to help her son. Families where kids have started to be excluded from social activities with peers, are the ones who usually benefit from this program, according to Mikami. “The whole idea is that if your child doesn’t have any friends right now and really just doesn’t have the social skills to make friends, then throwing them in there on their own is too much and they need more scaffolding,” she said. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Building a strong parent-child relationship\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When parents start PFC, the first things they focus on are strategies to strengthen their bond with their child. The parental friendship coaching model encourages parents like Poisson to spend special time connecting with their child so they’re more likely to be receptive to feedback. Examples of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60032/the-5-minute-daily-playtime-ritual-that-can-get-your-kids-to-listen-better\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">special time\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> may include sitting with their child as they draw and narrating the process or letting the child teach the parent a game.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At times, Poisson’s son resisted her feedback when she tried to help him develop better friendship behaviors. “Many parents, especially parents of kids with ADHD, have had the experience where they tell their child something – and maybe it’s even really good advice – but it’s like the brick wall goes up. The child gets very defensive,” said Mikami. “That defensiveness often comes from kids just anticipating that they’re going to do something wrong and they’re going to get a lot of corrective feedback, even if in the parent’s mind it is very well meaning.” Poisson noticed that when she spent special time with her son, his oppositional behavior decreased. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Liubov Delegan, who immigrated from Ukraine to Vancouver, Canada around the time of her eight-year-old son’s ADHD diagnosis, said the parental friendship coaching program taught her to use \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/toddlersandpreschoolers/communication/activelistening.html\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">active listening\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to strengthen her relationship with her child. Active listening means listening without jumping in with advice or criticism. When Delegan did that, she noticed that she asked her child more questions. “It gave more connection. It’s like ‘I can hear you. I hear what you’re saying and I’m interested in your opinion,’” she said. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Nurturing children’s friendship skills \u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Once the parent-child relationship is strong and secure, the PFC program guides parents in nurturing their child’s friendship skills, including negotiation, conflict resolution and perspective taking. Parents are uniquely positioned to be friendship coaches because they have a deep understanding of their child’s strengths, challenges and individual needs. While a child’s therapist can provide tips and strategies, parents have access to real time situations and can provide in-the-moment support. “It can be really hard for the child to learn the skills in therapy and then remember to apply them when they’re with their peers in a totally different situation outside of therapy,” said Mikami. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At a family game night, for example, parents may help their child improve social skills by incorporating breaks if the child gets worked up or praising the child when they are able to stay calm. Additionally, a parent might talk with a child about social cues to look for in playmates that show they might be bored.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">To build her son’s friendship skills, Poisson used PFC’s corrective feedback strategies. When her son interacted with his peers she’d put emphasis on the behavior she’d like to see in the moment instead of focusing on what her son was doing wrong. “When you have kids with ADHD, it’s not intrinsic to them. They’re not able to necessarily pick up on all those social cues,” said Poisson. Before playdates, Poisson now ”frontloads” her son by talking to him about what it means to be a good friend and how a good friend might act.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Setting up successful playdates\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Lastly, the PFC model helps parents learn how to structure successful playdates for their child. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“If you know your child is only likely to behave well in a certain situation for 30 minutes, set your first playdate for 30 minutes,” suggested Mikami. Other factors that are helpful include picking an appropriate friend for the playdate — a peer who has similar interests and encourages good behavior. A parent of a child with ADHD may initially choose to host playdates because they have more control over the environment than if their child is a guest at a peer’s house. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Although parents may feel the need to check in frequently during playdates, they learn in the PFC program that it’s important to make sure that their child experiences quality one-on-one time with their friend. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Mikami said that there are ways for parents to monitor without being intrusive, such as doing laundry during the playdate, which requires walking in and out of the child’s room a few times.\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> “Hopefully a lot of the coaching can be done before or after the playdate, not in front of the peer or not pulling the child out in the middle in a way that would look weird to the peer. That’s compromising autonomy.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Instead of trying to stop things from happening, Poisson accepted the occasional bad playdate as part of the process. “And then we just reflect. ‘What were you doing?’ and ‘What were they doing’ and ‘What could you do?’” she said. Poisson found that when she let go of her own anxieties about how the playdates were going, she got better outcomes. Ultimately Poisson felt that her son’s playdates got better as she used the parental friendship coaching approach. “The biggest thing was for me to just kind of back off a little bit, trust him, use what they had given us, and then just see how it played out,” she said. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents aren’t supposed to be their child’s friendship coach forever, according to Mikami. “It’s meant to be an investment in the early stages of a relationship. And so once your child gains more of these friendship skills and hits it off with a peer, then parents should have a plan to back off,” she said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parental friendship coaching is one of many ways to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61615/understanding-and-supporting-girls-with-adhd?fbclid=IwAR3pLgnT2LVLSuCPf1X-ks7tYFbXH0qB5FhcFVJ1zMt-YP1BNHFn130fGEs\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">improve social outcomes for kids with ADHD\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Mikami encouraged parents to be kind to themselves as they try to meet their child’s needs. “Your child is a different, independent and sentient living being and is not going to do everything the way that you hope and everything is not going to work the way that you hope, whether your child has ADHD or is neurotypical,” said Mikami. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Parental friendship coaching, a treatment model developed by psychologist Amori Mikami, can strengthen parent-child bonds and foster social skills for kids with ADHD.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1712104556,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":19,"wordCount":1572},"headData":{"title":"How Parents Can Help Children with ADHD Thrive in Friendships | KQED","description":"Parental friendship coaching, a model developed by psychologist Amori Mikami, can strengthen parent-child bonds and foster social skills for kids with ADHD.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"Parental friendship coaching, a model developed by psychologist Amori Mikami, can strengthen parent-child bonds and foster social skills for kids with ADHD.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"How Parents Can Help Children with ADHD Thrive in Friendships","datePublished":"2023-07-11T02:00:45.000Z","dateModified":"2024-04-03T00:35:56.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/61966/how-parents-can-help-children-with-adhd-thrive-in-friendships","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Vibrant” is how Caroline Poisson describes her seven-year-old son. “He’s incredible, enthusiastic and curious,” she said. “And then there’s a side of what we call kryptonite and we talk about his ADHD brain, where there are some things that are just really hard for him.” \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://childmind.org/article/helping-kids-who-struggle-with-executive-functions/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like many kids with ADHD\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, Poisson’s son struggles with executive function skills – the cognitive abilities that help people plan, stay organized, pay attention, control emotions and make decisions. Without a good grasp on these skills \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2827258/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">it can be hard to make friends and strengthen the social skills\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> needed to navigate adulthood. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents of kids with ADHD often say their kids miss social cues, such as when peers are bored, hurt or offended, according to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psych.ubc.ca/profile/amori-mikami/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Amori Mikami\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a psychology professor at the University of British Columbia in Canada. “It can lead to a lot of outbursts or temper tantrums or whining and complaining or arguing with the friend,” she said. Mikami researches peer relationships, specifically focusing on children with ADHD. Additionally, she developed a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/mono/10.4324/9781003221715/parents-friendship-coaches-children-adhd-amori-yee-mikami-s%C3%A9bastien-normand\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">parental friendship coaching (PFC) model\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> where parents of elementary school-age kids can learn to support their child in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/56979/what-the-research-says-about-the-academic-power-of-friendship\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">making friends\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">PFC programs can be found in participating mental health centers or specialized ADHD treatment centers. If a PFC program is not offered nearby, Mikami recommended sharing\u003ca href=\"https://www.routledge.com/Parents-as-Friendship-Coaches-for-Children-with-ADHD-A-Clinical-Guide/Mikami-Normand/p/book/9781032118284?gclid=CjwKCAjwzJmlBhBBEiwAEJyLu0horPV7Yoz2ngrgzlivLBHna-o6JZHExhSlDDcRd6Qti5XHj7KltxoCEHAQAvD_BwE\"> a link\u003c/a> to the treatment manual with a local provider who has experience providing behavioral parent training for families of kids with ADHD and can work with the family to implement the treatment.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Participants meet with mental health professionals and other parents of kids with ADHD for 10 sessions over several weeks to practice strategies to improve their child’s social behavior. While the parental friendship coaching model can be used individually, a group format lends itself to community and collaboration among parents. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15374416.2017.1390757?journalCode=hcap20\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research trials\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of PFC\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> have shown improvement in children’s \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">social behaviors such as taking turns, sharing and negotiating. A key goal for many parents who use this approach is to help their child have successful playdates and — ideally — deepen their friendships.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Poisson, who found a PFC program online, had been in counseling herself after her son’s diagnosis and felt the program was a way that she could build on that support to help her son. Families where kids have started to be excluded from social activities with peers, are the ones who usually benefit from this program, according to Mikami. “The whole idea is that if your child doesn’t have any friends right now and really just doesn’t have the social skills to make friends, then throwing them in there on their own is too much and they need more scaffolding,” she said. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Building a strong parent-child relationship\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When parents start PFC, the first things they focus on are strategies to strengthen their bond with their child. The parental friendship coaching model encourages parents like Poisson to spend special time connecting with their child so they’re more likely to be receptive to feedback. Examples of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60032/the-5-minute-daily-playtime-ritual-that-can-get-your-kids-to-listen-better\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">special time\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> may include sitting with their child as they draw and narrating the process or letting the child teach the parent a game.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At times, Poisson’s son resisted her feedback when she tried to help him develop better friendship behaviors. “Many parents, especially parents of kids with ADHD, have had the experience where they tell their child something – and maybe it’s even really good advice – but it’s like the brick wall goes up. The child gets very defensive,” said Mikami. “That defensiveness often comes from kids just anticipating that they’re going to do something wrong and they’re going to get a lot of corrective feedback, even if in the parent’s mind it is very well meaning.” Poisson noticed that when she spent special time with her son, his oppositional behavior decreased. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Liubov Delegan, who immigrated from Ukraine to Vancouver, Canada around the time of her eight-year-old son’s ADHD diagnosis, said the parental friendship coaching program taught her to use \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/toddlersandpreschoolers/communication/activelistening.html\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">active listening\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to strengthen her relationship with her child. Active listening means listening without jumping in with advice or criticism. When Delegan did that, she noticed that she asked her child more questions. “It gave more connection. It’s like ‘I can hear you. I hear what you’re saying and I’m interested in your opinion,’” she said. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Nurturing children’s friendship skills \u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Once the parent-child relationship is strong and secure, the PFC program guides parents in nurturing their child’s friendship skills, including negotiation, conflict resolution and perspective taking. Parents are uniquely positioned to be friendship coaches because they have a deep understanding of their child’s strengths, challenges and individual needs. While a child’s therapist can provide tips and strategies, parents have access to real time situations and can provide in-the-moment support. “It can be really hard for the child to learn the skills in therapy and then remember to apply them when they’re with their peers in a totally different situation outside of therapy,” said Mikami. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At a family game night, for example, parents may help their child improve social skills by incorporating breaks if the child gets worked up or praising the child when they are able to stay calm. Additionally, a parent might talk with a child about social cues to look for in playmates that show they might be bored.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">To build her son’s friendship skills, Poisson used PFC’s corrective feedback strategies. When her son interacted with his peers she’d put emphasis on the behavior she’d like to see in the moment instead of focusing on what her son was doing wrong. “When you have kids with ADHD, it’s not intrinsic to them. They’re not able to necessarily pick up on all those social cues,” said Poisson. Before playdates, Poisson now ”frontloads” her son by talking to him about what it means to be a good friend and how a good friend might act.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Setting up successful playdates\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Lastly, the PFC model helps parents learn how to structure successful playdates for their child. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“If you know your child is only likely to behave well in a certain situation for 30 minutes, set your first playdate for 30 minutes,” suggested Mikami. Other factors that are helpful include picking an appropriate friend for the playdate — a peer who has similar interests and encourages good behavior. A parent of a child with ADHD may initially choose to host playdates because they have more control over the environment than if their child is a guest at a peer’s house. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Although parents may feel the need to check in frequently during playdates, they learn in the PFC program that it’s important to make sure that their child experiences quality one-on-one time with their friend. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Mikami said that there are ways for parents to monitor without being intrusive, such as doing laundry during the playdate, which requires walking in and out of the child’s room a few times.\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> “Hopefully a lot of the coaching can be done before or after the playdate, not in front of the peer or not pulling the child out in the middle in a way that would look weird to the peer. That’s compromising autonomy.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Instead of trying to stop things from happening, Poisson accepted the occasional bad playdate as part of the process. “And then we just reflect. ‘What were you doing?’ and ‘What were they doing’ and ‘What could you do?’” she said. Poisson found that when she let go of her own anxieties about how the playdates were going, she got better outcomes. Ultimately Poisson felt that her son’s playdates got better as she used the parental friendship coaching approach. “The biggest thing was for me to just kind of back off a little bit, trust him, use what they had given us, and then just see how it played out,” she said. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents aren’t supposed to be their child’s friendship coach forever, according to Mikami. “It’s meant to be an investment in the early stages of a relationship. And so once your child gains more of these friendship skills and hits it off with a peer, then parents should have a plan to back off,” she said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parental friendship coaching is one of many ways to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61615/understanding-and-supporting-girls-with-adhd?fbclid=IwAR3pLgnT2LVLSuCPf1X-ks7tYFbXH0qB5FhcFVJ1zMt-YP1BNHFn130fGEs\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">improve social outcomes for kids with ADHD\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Mikami encouraged parents to be kind to themselves as they try to meet their child’s needs. “Your child is a different, independent and sentient living being and is not going to do everything the way that you hope and everything is not going to work the way that you hope, whether your child has ADHD or is neurotypical,” said Mikami. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/61966/how-parents-can-help-children-with-adhd-thrive-in-friendships","authors":["11721"],"categories":["mindshift_21280","mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_20862","mindshift_20882","mindshift_20955","mindshift_21074","mindshift_21336","mindshift_20870","mindshift_20568","mindshift_290","mindshift_498","mindshift_20774","mindshift_943"],"featImg":"mindshift_61968","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_57424":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_57424","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"57424","score":null,"sort":[1614067831000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"the-two-types-of-independence-growing-tweens-need-to-practice","title":"The Two Types of Independence Growing Tweens Need to Practice","publishDate":1614067831,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>Excerpted from \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/623740/fourteen-talks-by-age-fourteen-by-michelle-icard/\">FOURTEEN TALKS BY AGE FOURTEEN\u003c/a> \u003cem>copyright © 2021 by Michelle Icard. Used by permission of Harmony Books, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.\u003c/em>\u003cem> \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Two Types of Independence\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>In my work, I see two primary ways kids assert their independence after elementary school: 1) by isolating themselves from their family at home, and 2) by separating from their family to explore the world. Both of these cause parents a great deal of worry.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before I help you launch into how to talk about independence with your child, it may help to first understand a bit about isolation versus exploration, so you’ll have a sense of what’s normal and safe, or if you might need to be more concerned.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Independence Through Isolation\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Why do tweens spend a colossal amount of time in their rooms? Why do they stop (willingly) participating in family movie or game night? Why do family dinners feel like a timed race to the finish line, so your kid can hop up and rush back to their room? You used to be close, but these days it probably feels like you’re being ghosted by your kid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Don’t worry. It’s not you. It’s them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Adolescents need to cocoon. Cocooning is a term coined in the early 1980s by Faith Popcorn, a social trend analyst with a bizarre and compelling name. (That’s neither here nor there, but it can’t go unsaid.) Popcorn describes cocooning as “the impulse to stay inside when the outside gets too tough and scary.” Since its introduction to our lexicon, it has come to be used regularly to describe adolescents and their relationship to their rooms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tweens and teens cocoon because at a time when most things in their lives are changing—their bodies, brains, emotions, friends, and even their self-concepts—bedrooms are safe havens. There, they can think about any and all things ad nauseam, or push them aside and take a break from the mental turmoil of their busy minds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Most kids take cocooning so seriously they will, if allowed, suddenly redecorate or rearrange their preteen rooms to reflect a new sense of self. They want to establish that this space is more theirs, and definitely not moms or dads. Due to financial constraints, I wasn’t allowed to redecorate my room when I was a teenager, so I covered the 1775 colonial-themed wallpaper I inherited when we moved in with floor-to-ceiling black-and-white ads I collected from old magazines. This décor wouldn’t have been my first choice, but it sent a clear message: this is my space, not yours. Eventually, kids emerge from their cocoons with a better-formed sense of self. It may feel like mindless sequestering to parents, but it serves as a safe place to grow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When cocooning goes well, kids feel a sense of independence and autonomy right in the safety of your own home. When cocooning doesn’t go well, kids become overly self-indulgent, forgetting that they are still members of a family unit and they must still do chores, engage in pleasant conversation, and balance their own needs with what’s best for the group. As you talk with your tween about their cocooning habits, you’ll want to keep in mind that not all isolation is bad. Seek a compromise on balancing their needs with those of the family.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Independence Through Exploration\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://michelleicard.com/books/\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright wp-image-57425\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/Fourteen-Talks.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"304\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/Fourteen-Talks.jpeg 842w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/Fourteen-Talks-800x1216.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/Fourteen-Talks-160x243.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/Fourteen-Talks-768x1168.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">\u003c/a>In contrast to isolating at home, sometimes your tween will want to assert their independence by venturing out into the world without you. However, because of our constant exposure to news showing us how seemingly every kid is in mortal danger from guns, drugs, and sexual trafficking, parents accordingly react by limiting those freedoms. Lenore Skenazy has written an incredible book about the perils of this crack-down phenomenon: Free-Range Kids. If you are nervous about letting your kids explore your neighborhood, town, or city, I urge you to read it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Exploring the world in middle school might look like doing one of these things without parental supervision: going to the mall with a friend, meeting up with classmates at a roller rink or trampoline park, riding a bike to the gas station to buy a candy bar, taking public transportation, or being dropped off at the movies or a sub shop for lunch. All of these are fairly typical middle school explorations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In any of these scenarios there are three kinds of learning happening for tweens:\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Learning how to navigate traffic, strangers, and public spaces safely.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Learning how to assert themselves by asking for directions or help (as in, “What do I do? The soda machine is broken and I already paid.”), ordering for themselves, figuring out a tip, or trying not to get yelled at by grumpy people who don’t like kids milling around.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Learning how to think for themselves, by themselves, and becoming okay with the sound of their own thoughts. It’s about tuning in to that inner voice tweens may not yet be familiar with, if all they have ever heard is an adult’s voice telling them what to do.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>When exploration goes well, kids develop confidence in their abilities to overcome obstacles and solve their own problems. Giving kids a chance to earn this confidence actually makes them safer, because if someone is going to target your kid, whether that’s a manipulative friend, bully at school, older teens at the mall, or god forbid, stranger with bad intentions, you want your child to be confident and street smart enough to speak up, get loud if necessary, and get help. People who do bad things at any level don’t like an audience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When exploration goes wrong, it can go wrong in a broad range of ways. Like me when my parents left me home alone, kids may ask for more than they can handle. An experience like this can leave a kid emotionally drained, but it’s not likely to have any long-term effects (other than being useful one day when writing a book). I’d be more concerned about kids who are sent out before they’re taught how to explore safely. They may run the risk of getting hit by a car, or getting seriously lost, or as mentioned above, not knowing how to speak up for themselves or get help if approached by someone with the intention of testing your kid’s boundaries.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tweens exploring their world also run the risk of making dumb decisions. Maybe they’ll get kicked out of a store for being too rowdy, or get yelled at by a server for leaving a bad tip or making a mess. Maybe they’ll decide to see what happens if they pocket a golf ball from the sporting goods store without paying for it. Think ahead about what choices you want your kid to make when you aren’t there, and have those conversations ahead of time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_57426\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 160px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-57426 size-thumbnail\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/c-Kate-Weaver-Photography-e1614028376829-160x206.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"206\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/c-Kate-Weaver-Photography-e1614028376829-160x206.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/c-Kate-Weaver-Photography-e1614028376829.jpg 245w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Michelle Icard \u003ccite>(Kate Weaver)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/michelleicard\">Michelle Icard\u003c/a> is a member of the Today show parenting team and NBC News Learn. The author of Middle School Makeover, her work has been featured in the Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, The Christian Science Monitor, Redbook, Time, and People. Her leadership curriculum for middle schoolers, Athena's Path and Hero's Pursuit, have been implemented at schools across the U.S., and her summer camp curriculum is offered at more than twenty camps each summer. She lives with her family in Charlotte, North Carolina.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Being alone coccooning in their rooms or breaking away from one's families are just some ways tweens and teens exercise independence in developmentally appropriate ways. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1614366836,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":18,"wordCount":1329},"headData":{"title":"The Two Types of Independence Growing Tweens Need to Practice - MindShift","description":"Being alone coccooning in their rooms or breaking away from one's families are just some ways tweens and teens excercise independence in developmentally appropriate ways.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"The Two Types of Independence Growing Tweens Need to Practice","datePublished":"2021-02-23T08:10:31.000Z","dateModified":"2021-02-26T19:13:56.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"57424 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=57424","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2021/02/23/the-two-types-of-independence-growing-tweens-need-to-practice/","disqusTitle":"The Two Types of Independence Growing Tweens Need to Practice","path":"/mindshift/57424/the-two-types-of-independence-growing-tweens-need-to-practice","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Excerpted from \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/623740/fourteen-talks-by-age-fourteen-by-michelle-icard/\">FOURTEEN TALKS BY AGE FOURTEEN\u003c/a> \u003cem>copyright © 2021 by Michelle Icard. Used by permission of Harmony Books, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.\u003c/em>\u003cem> \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Two Types of Independence\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>In my work, I see two primary ways kids assert their independence after elementary school: 1) by isolating themselves from their family at home, and 2) by separating from their family to explore the world. Both of these cause parents a great deal of worry.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before I help you launch into how to talk about independence with your child, it may help to first understand a bit about isolation versus exploration, so you’ll have a sense of what’s normal and safe, or if you might need to be more concerned.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Independence Through Isolation\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Why do tweens spend a colossal amount of time in their rooms? Why do they stop (willingly) participating in family movie or game night? Why do family dinners feel like a timed race to the finish line, so your kid can hop up and rush back to their room? You used to be close, but these days it probably feels like you’re being ghosted by your kid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Don’t worry. It’s not you. It’s them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Adolescents need to cocoon. Cocooning is a term coined in the early 1980s by Faith Popcorn, a social trend analyst with a bizarre and compelling name. (That’s neither here nor there, but it can’t go unsaid.) Popcorn describes cocooning as “the impulse to stay inside when the outside gets too tough and scary.” Since its introduction to our lexicon, it has come to be used regularly to describe adolescents and their relationship to their rooms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tweens and teens cocoon because at a time when most things in their lives are changing—their bodies, brains, emotions, friends, and even their self-concepts—bedrooms are safe havens. There, they can think about any and all things ad nauseam, or push them aside and take a break from the mental turmoil of their busy minds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Most kids take cocooning so seriously they will, if allowed, suddenly redecorate or rearrange their preteen rooms to reflect a new sense of self. They want to establish that this space is more theirs, and definitely not moms or dads. Due to financial constraints, I wasn’t allowed to redecorate my room when I was a teenager, so I covered the 1775 colonial-themed wallpaper I inherited when we moved in with floor-to-ceiling black-and-white ads I collected from old magazines. This décor wouldn’t have been my first choice, but it sent a clear message: this is my space, not yours. Eventually, kids emerge from their cocoons with a better-formed sense of self. It may feel like mindless sequestering to parents, but it serves as a safe place to grow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When cocooning goes well, kids feel a sense of independence and autonomy right in the safety of your own home. When cocooning doesn’t go well, kids become overly self-indulgent, forgetting that they are still members of a family unit and they must still do chores, engage in pleasant conversation, and balance their own needs with what’s best for the group. As you talk with your tween about their cocooning habits, you’ll want to keep in mind that not all isolation is bad. Seek a compromise on balancing their needs with those of the family.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Independence Through Exploration\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://michelleicard.com/books/\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright wp-image-57425\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/Fourteen-Talks.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"304\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/Fourteen-Talks.jpeg 842w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/Fourteen-Talks-800x1216.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/Fourteen-Talks-160x243.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/Fourteen-Talks-768x1168.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">\u003c/a>In contrast to isolating at home, sometimes your tween will want to assert their independence by venturing out into the world without you. However, because of our constant exposure to news showing us how seemingly every kid is in mortal danger from guns, drugs, and sexual trafficking, parents accordingly react by limiting those freedoms. Lenore Skenazy has written an incredible book about the perils of this crack-down phenomenon: Free-Range Kids. If you are nervous about letting your kids explore your neighborhood, town, or city, I urge you to read it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Exploring the world in middle school might look like doing one of these things without parental supervision: going to the mall with a friend, meeting up with classmates at a roller rink or trampoline park, riding a bike to the gas station to buy a candy bar, taking public transportation, or being dropped off at the movies or a sub shop for lunch. All of these are fairly typical middle school explorations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In any of these scenarios there are three kinds of learning happening for tweens:\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Learning how to navigate traffic, strangers, and public spaces safely.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Learning how to assert themselves by asking for directions or help (as in, “What do I do? The soda machine is broken and I already paid.”), ordering for themselves, figuring out a tip, or trying not to get yelled at by grumpy people who don’t like kids milling around.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Learning how to think for themselves, by themselves, and becoming okay with the sound of their own thoughts. It’s about tuning in to that inner voice tweens may not yet be familiar with, if all they have ever heard is an adult’s voice telling them what to do.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>When exploration goes well, kids develop confidence in their abilities to overcome obstacles and solve their own problems. Giving kids a chance to earn this confidence actually makes them safer, because if someone is going to target your kid, whether that’s a manipulative friend, bully at school, older teens at the mall, or god forbid, stranger with bad intentions, you want your child to be confident and street smart enough to speak up, get loud if necessary, and get help. People who do bad things at any level don’t like an audience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When exploration goes wrong, it can go wrong in a broad range of ways. Like me when my parents left me home alone, kids may ask for more than they can handle. An experience like this can leave a kid emotionally drained, but it’s not likely to have any long-term effects (other than being useful one day when writing a book). I’d be more concerned about kids who are sent out before they’re taught how to explore safely. They may run the risk of getting hit by a car, or getting seriously lost, or as mentioned above, not knowing how to speak up for themselves or get help if approached by someone with the intention of testing your kid’s boundaries.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tweens exploring their world also run the risk of making dumb decisions. Maybe they’ll get kicked out of a store for being too rowdy, or get yelled at by a server for leaving a bad tip or making a mess. Maybe they’ll decide to see what happens if they pocket a golf ball from the sporting goods store without paying for it. Think ahead about what choices you want your kid to make when you aren’t there, and have those conversations ahead of time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_57426\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 160px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-57426 size-thumbnail\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/c-Kate-Weaver-Photography-e1614028376829-160x206.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"206\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/c-Kate-Weaver-Photography-e1614028376829-160x206.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/02/c-Kate-Weaver-Photography-e1614028376829.jpg 245w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Michelle Icard \u003ccite>(Kate Weaver)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/michelleicard\">Michelle Icard\u003c/a> is a member of the Today show parenting team and NBC News Learn. The author of Middle School Makeover, her work has been featured in the Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, The Christian Science Monitor, Redbook, Time, and People. Her leadership curriculum for middle schoolers, Athena's Path and Hero's Pursuit, have been implemented at schools across the U.S., and her summer camp curriculum is offered at more than twenty camps each summer. She lives with her family in Charlotte, North Carolina.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/57424/the-two-types-of-independence-growing-tweens-need-to-practice","authors":["4354"],"categories":["mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_21093","mindshift_20811","mindshift_20955","mindshift_20865","mindshift_20568","mindshift_21417","mindshift_21159","mindshift_1038"],"featImg":"mindshift_57429","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_57373":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_57373","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"57373","score":null,"sort":[1613464686000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"why-we-need-to-pay-more-attention-to-the-youngest-children-right-now-and-their-parents","title":"Why We Need to Pay More Attention to the Youngest Children and Their Parents","publishDate":1613464686,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Throughout the coronavirus outbreak, nearly everyone connected to children has raised the alarm about \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.edweek.org/teaching-learning/how-much-real-learning-time-are-students-losing-during-the-pandemic/2021/02\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">pandemic learning loss\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Parents, educators, physicians and politicians — they might disagree on solutions, but they’re all concerned about how the current educational upheaval will affect K-12 students.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">By contrast, little attention has been paid to the pandemic’s effects on even younger learners.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“There aren’t a lot of people out there screaming ‘what about the infants?’” said Jack Shonkoff, a pediatrician and professor who leads Harvard’s \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://developingchild.harvard.edu/about/who-we-are/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Center on the Developing Child\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Perhaps there should be. In recent decades, neuroscientists and early learning experts have discovered just how much an infant’s environment contributes to the development of their brain’s structure and circuitry. When infants receive nurturing, responsive care in stable settings, “it literally shapes the architecture of the brain and builds strong brain circuits for learning, for emotional development, for self-regulation,” Shonkoff explained during an \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ewa.org/agenda/agenda-zero-three-crash-course-covering-child-care-and-early-learning-pandemic\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">early childhood seminar\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> hosted by the Education Writers Association.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When the opposite is true, the consequences can last a lifetime. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/fastfact.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fviolenceprevention%2Facestudy%2Ffastfact.html\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adverse childhood experiences\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51589/whats-going-on-in-the-brain-of-a-child-who-has-experienced-trauma\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">toxic stress\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> can negatively affect education, jobs and health into adulthood.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scientists knew all of that before the coronavirus sent rates of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/14/business/economy/unemployment-claims.html\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">unemployment\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/business/hunger-coronavirus-economy/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">hunger\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-00175-z\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">depression and anxiety\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> soaring. There are programs like \u003ca href=\"https://www.healthysteps.org/\">Healthy Steps\u003c/a> that can help families access resources and support. But Shonkoff worries that the the enormous stress and instability families are facing will harm babies and toddlers for years to come. To prevent that, he said everyone needs to step up to support struggling parents.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Disrupted development\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Most parents work incredibly hard to provide the best they can for their kids. But stressors like job loss, illness or a lack of child care make it harder to provide the predictable, responsive care that little ones need.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Without those things, the brain detects danger and triggers the body’s chemical and biological stress responses. If fired too often in a child’s early years, these responses can disrupt their neurological development.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One example of where this can do long-term harm is in the prefrontal cortex, the brain region involved in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/executive-function/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">controlling attention\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. The prefrontal cortex has two periods of rapid development, Shonkoff said in an interview. The first occurs between ages three and five when kids gain more self-control and ability to focus, or as Shonkoff put it, “all that preschool stuff that makes the difference between a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But if the base layers of the prefrontal cortex haven't been laid before then, problems can arise. Psychologists observed this issue in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://www.bucharestearlyinterventionproject.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a longitudinal study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of children who grew up in Romanian orphanages and their peers who were placed in foster care. Researchers found that the institutionalized children, who \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/07/can-an-unloved-child-learn-to-love/612253/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">received little human contact\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, had delays in cognitive, linguistic, motor and socioemotional skills. Those in foster care \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/06/neglect\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">fared better\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> — especially if they were removed from the orphanages before age 2. But even among that subset, ADHD symptoms appeared more often than in a control group.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“The brain circuits and the structures that underlie the early foundations of attention are clearly affected early, not in a way that's necessarily irreversible, but the older you get — and by older I mean going from 1 to 2 to 3 — the harder it becomes to completely recover,” Shonkoff explained.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">That’s why, he said, if society doesn’t make moves to support infants now, in a few years schools can expect to see “more kids with more needs” arriving in classrooms.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Serve and return\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One of the best ways parents and educators can \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52259/5-simple-ways-to-encourage-brain-development-in-your-little-one\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">help children develop healthy brain architecture\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> now is through \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://developingchild.harvard.edu/guide/a-guide-to-serve-and-return-how-your-interaction-with-children-can-build-brains/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“serve and return”\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> interactions.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Think of it like tennis. When a baby does something like focusing on a new object, grabbing their feet or babbling, they’re serving the ball. A parent or caregiver can volley it back by noticing, naming and responding to these small moments. These back-and-forth interactions can activate and strengthen connections in a child’s developing brain, just as tennis practice builds an athlete’s muscles and reflexes.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Practicing serve and return doesn’t require fancy toys or oodles of free time. They can occur through simple play, like peek-a-boo, or during ordinary activities, such as making a snack. In its \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/5-steps-for-brain-building-serve-and-return/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">resources\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> for caregivers, the Center on the Developing Child outlines five steps to serve and return:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Share the focus.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Support and encourage.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Name it.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Take turns.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Follow children’s lead for endings and beginnings. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>To help children, help their parents\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Another key to early brain development is having a predictable daily routine. But if these seem like simple directives, they have become \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/56730/juggling-financial-stress-and-caregiving-parents-are-very-not-ok-in-the-pandemic\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">much harder\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> during the pandemic.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“It's not to say that you're doomed if you're stressed, because we're all stressed,” said Shonkoff. But the amount of stress and available support networks make a difference. Parents need to ask for \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">help\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, he said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And the rest of society needs to respond. “There's nothing magic that the government or programs can do with babies. Whatever we do has to be done by empowering and enhancing the ability of the adults who care for them to be able to provide that kind of environment.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In Congress, Democrats are currently pushing to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/us-policy/2021/02/07/child-benefit-democrats-biden/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">expand the child tax credit\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> for millions of families as a way to combat child poverty. The plan, which would cost an estimated $120 billion per year, has received some bipartisan support but also criticism from conservatives.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">While politics can lead to pessimism for some early childhood advocates, Shonkoff said the scientific evidence showing what’s possible keeps him positive. “Optimism is the only way to think about the early childhood period, not just because we wish that things could be better, but we have so much untapped knowledge that could produce much better results if we used it.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Doctors worry that family stress created by the pandemic may interfere with the brain development of infants, toddlers and preschoolers. Supporting parents is key. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1613762461,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":22,"wordCount":1027},"headData":{"title":"What Infants, Toddlers and Preschoolers Need During the Pandemic - MindShift","description":"Doctors worry that family stress created by the pandemic may interfere with the brain development of infants, toddlers and preschoolers. Supporting parents is key.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Why We Need to Pay More Attention to the Youngest Children and Their Parents","datePublished":"2021-02-16T08:38:06.000Z","dateModified":"2021-02-19T19:21:01.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"57373 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=57373","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2021/02/16/why-we-need-to-pay-more-attention-to-the-youngest-children-right-now-and-their-parents/","disqusTitle":"Why We Need to Pay More Attention to the Youngest Children and Their Parents","path":"/mindshift/57373/why-we-need-to-pay-more-attention-to-the-youngest-children-right-now-and-their-parents","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Throughout the coronavirus outbreak, nearly everyone connected to children has raised the alarm about \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.edweek.org/teaching-learning/how-much-real-learning-time-are-students-losing-during-the-pandemic/2021/02\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">pandemic learning loss\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Parents, educators, physicians and politicians — they might disagree on solutions, but they’re all concerned about how the current educational upheaval will affect K-12 students.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">By contrast, little attention has been paid to the pandemic’s effects on even younger learners.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“There aren’t a lot of people out there screaming ‘what about the infants?’” said Jack Shonkoff, a pediatrician and professor who leads Harvard’s \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://developingchild.harvard.edu/about/who-we-are/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Center on the Developing Child\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Perhaps there should be. In recent decades, neuroscientists and early learning experts have discovered just how much an infant’s environment contributes to the development of their brain’s structure and circuitry. When infants receive nurturing, responsive care in stable settings, “it literally shapes the architecture of the brain and builds strong brain circuits for learning, for emotional development, for self-regulation,” Shonkoff explained during an \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ewa.org/agenda/agenda-zero-three-crash-course-covering-child-care-and-early-learning-pandemic\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">early childhood seminar\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> hosted by the Education Writers Association.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When the opposite is true, the consequences can last a lifetime. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/fastfact.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fviolenceprevention%2Facestudy%2Ffastfact.html\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Adverse childhood experiences\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51589/whats-going-on-in-the-brain-of-a-child-who-has-experienced-trauma\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">toxic stress\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> can negatively affect education, jobs and health into adulthood.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scientists knew all of that before the coronavirus sent rates of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/14/business/economy/unemployment-claims.html\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">unemployment\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/business/hunger-coronavirus-economy/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">hunger\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-00175-z\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">depression and anxiety\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> soaring. There are programs like \u003ca href=\"https://www.healthysteps.org/\">Healthy Steps\u003c/a> that can help families access resources and support. But Shonkoff worries that the the enormous stress and instability families are facing will harm babies and toddlers for years to come. To prevent that, he said everyone needs to step up to support struggling parents.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Disrupted development\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Most parents work incredibly hard to provide the best they can for their kids. But stressors like job loss, illness or a lack of child care make it harder to provide the predictable, responsive care that little ones need.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Without those things, the brain detects danger and triggers the body’s chemical and biological stress responses. If fired too often in a child’s early years, these responses can disrupt their neurological development.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One example of where this can do long-term harm is in the prefrontal cortex, the brain region involved in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/executive-function/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">controlling attention\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. The prefrontal cortex has two periods of rapid development, Shonkoff said in an interview. The first occurs between ages three and five when kids gain more self-control and ability to focus, or as Shonkoff put it, “all that preschool stuff that makes the difference between a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But if the base layers of the prefrontal cortex haven't been laid before then, problems can arise. Psychologists observed this issue in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://www.bucharestearlyinterventionproject.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a longitudinal study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of children who grew up in Romanian orphanages and their peers who were placed in foster care. Researchers found that the institutionalized children, who \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/07/can-an-unloved-child-learn-to-love/612253/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">received little human contact\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, had delays in cognitive, linguistic, motor and socioemotional skills. Those in foster care \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/06/neglect\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">fared better\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> — especially if they were removed from the orphanages before age 2. But even among that subset, ADHD symptoms appeared more often than in a control group.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“The brain circuits and the structures that underlie the early foundations of attention are clearly affected early, not in a way that's necessarily irreversible, but the older you get — and by older I mean going from 1 to 2 to 3 — the harder it becomes to completely recover,” Shonkoff explained.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">That’s why, he said, if society doesn’t make moves to support infants now, in a few years schools can expect to see “more kids with more needs” arriving in classrooms.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Serve and return\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One of the best ways parents and educators can \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52259/5-simple-ways-to-encourage-brain-development-in-your-little-one\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">help children develop healthy brain architecture\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> now is through \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://developingchild.harvard.edu/guide/a-guide-to-serve-and-return-how-your-interaction-with-children-can-build-brains/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“serve and return”\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> interactions.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Think of it like tennis. When a baby does something like focusing on a new object, grabbing their feet or babbling, they’re serving the ball. A parent or caregiver can volley it back by noticing, naming and responding to these small moments. These back-and-forth interactions can activate and strengthen connections in a child’s developing brain, just as tennis practice builds an athlete’s muscles and reflexes.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Practicing serve and return doesn’t require fancy toys or oodles of free time. They can occur through simple play, like peek-a-boo, or during ordinary activities, such as making a snack. In its \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/5-steps-for-brain-building-serve-and-return/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">resources\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> for caregivers, the Center on the Developing Child outlines five steps to serve and return:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Share the focus.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Support and encourage.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Name it.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Take turns.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Follow children’s lead for endings and beginnings. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>To help children, help their parents\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Another key to early brain development is having a predictable daily routine. But if these seem like simple directives, they have become \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/56730/juggling-financial-stress-and-caregiving-parents-are-very-not-ok-in-the-pandemic\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">much harder\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> during the pandemic.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“It's not to say that you're doomed if you're stressed, because we're all stressed,” said Shonkoff. But the amount of stress and available support networks make a difference. Parents need to ask for \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">help\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, he said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And the rest of society needs to respond. “There's nothing magic that the government or programs can do with babies. Whatever we do has to be done by empowering and enhancing the ability of the adults who care for them to be able to provide that kind of environment.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In Congress, Democrats are currently pushing to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/us-policy/2021/02/07/child-benefit-democrats-biden/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">expand the child tax credit\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> for millions of families as a way to combat child poverty. The plan, which would cost an estimated $120 billion per year, has received some bipartisan support but also criticism from conservatives.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">While politics can lead to pessimism for some early childhood advocates, Shonkoff said the scientific evidence showing what’s possible keeps him positive. “Optimism is the only way to think about the early childhood period, not just because we wish that things could be better, but we have so much untapped knowledge that could produce much better results if we used it.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/57373/why-we-need-to-pay-more-attention-to-the-youngest-children-right-now-and-their-parents","authors":["11487"],"categories":["mindshift_21345"],"tags":["mindshift_767","mindshift_21344","mindshift_21343","mindshift_20720","mindshift_20955","mindshift_21414","mindshift_20865","mindshift_943"],"featImg":"mindshift_57377","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_53917":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_53917","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"53917","score":null,"sort":[1562392796000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"kindness-vs-cruelty-helping-kids-hear-the-better-angels-of-their-nature","title":"Kindness Vs. Cruelty: Helping Kids Hear The Better Angels Of Their Nature","publishDate":1562392796,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>This story was adapted from an episode from a Life Kit podcast,\u003c/em>\u003c/strong> \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510344/raising-awesome-kids\">\u003cstrong>Parenting: Raising Awesome Kids\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Are humans born kind?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We both assumed, as parents of young children, that kindness is just something our kids would pick up by osmosis, because we love them. It's a common assumption.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We often just expect people to be kind without talking about it,\" says Jennifer Kotler, vice president of research and evaluation at Sesame Workshop. \"We think, 'Oh, you're a good kid. You're gonna be kind.' \"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now, that's not entirely wrong. Humans are certainly born with a capacity to be kind — even \u003cem>leaning\u003c/em> toward kindness in many situations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We have neurons in our brains, called mirror neurons, and they respond in the same way when we experience pain, say by being pricked with a needle, as they do when we see someone else experience the same thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We also see signs of what is called empathic distress even in babies, says Thomas Lickona, a psychologist and author of \u003cem>How to Raise Kind Kids\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Soon after birth, children will be more likely to cry as a result of hearing another child cry than in response to any other sort of noise,\" says Lickona.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But kindness is about more than sensing someone else's pain. It's also about wanting to do something about it — and then actually being helpful. Lickona says kids show an early preference for helping, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://science.sciencemag.org/content/311/5765/1301.full\">one study\u003c/a>, when toddlers observed an adult appear to accidentally drop something, nearly every one of them responded by helping, usually within seconds, Lickona says. \"And they did this without any request from the adult and without even being thanked by the adult. And it didn't matter whether or not the parent was in the room.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In fact, this preference for helping shows up even earlier. Kiley Hamlin is an associate professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia, and she has used puppets to \u003ca href=\"https://www.nature.com/articles/nature06288#article-info\">test this preference\u003c/a> in babies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hamlin had infants watch as a puppet looked longingly up a hill it wanted to climb. When the puppet tried, though, one of two things happened: Either a helper puppet gave the climber a boost up the hill or, once at the top, the climber puppet got bumped back down by a hinderer puppet. Hamlin then put the helper and hinderer in front of the babies and waited to see which one they preferred.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The surprising thing was the sheer number of babies who were showing this preference for the helper,\" says Hamlin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_53928\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 500px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-53928\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2019/07/nature06288-s1-helper.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"376\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Climber (red circle) fails to get up the hill on its own and is boosted to the top by the Helper (yellow triangle). \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Nature)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_53931\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 500px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-53931\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2019/07/nature06288-s6-hinderer-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The red circle rests at the top of the hill before being pushed down to the bottom by the yellow triangle. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Nature)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://apps.npr.org/dailygraphics/graphics/kindness-20190611?mode=childlink&utm_source=nprnews&utm_medium=app&utm_campaign=storyredirect\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Don't see the graphic above? Click here.\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Between 75% and 100% of babies in these studies tend to reach for, or look longer at, the helper puppet rather than the meanie, Hamlin says. This suggests that even babies are picking up on \"who has goals that need help, who did what to whom, who's a good guy, who's a bad guy, and that they're using this understanding in order to structure sort of their own social preferences.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As we said, in some ways, kids are born kind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But there are also big barriers to kindness. For example, in one \u003ca href=\"https://www.jstor.org/stable/1129406?read-now=1&seq=7#page_scan_tab_contents\">small study\u003c/a>, children who were roughly 2 years old witnessed other kids in distress. Perhaps a fellow child fell on the playground, though not necessarily someone they knew. In only a third of these situations did the bystander children respond with altruism — going over to the child, offering a hug, or calling for an adult.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What gets in the way of kindness? Lots of things. For one, young kids are naturally self-centered. The ability to take others' perspective is something they have to develop through experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There's also temperament. Some kids really can't handle other kids' pain. Or maybe they're shy, or not sure what to do, and they wait for someone else to step up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But there's another, more disturbing barrier to kindness: Tribalism. Not just a preference for those who look and act like us but even a desire to see those not like us treated badly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a \u003ca href=\"https://www.utoronto.ca/news/racial-bias-may-begin-babies-six-months-u-t-research-reveals\">University of Toronto study\u003c/a>, infants as young as six months old showed a preference for members of their own race and against members of different races. And this us vs. them mentality extends beyond physical differences.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hamlin, at the University of British Columbia, introduced a new variable to her puppet shows. When the puppet and baby liked different snacks, the baby wasn't just less kind. She often wanted the puppet that did not share her snack preference \u003cem>punished\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Babies did seem to care more about who was like them than they cared about niceness and meanness,\" says Hamlin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"So here's a real forerunner, evident as early as six months of age, of what becomes ugly prejudice, discrimination and so on later on,\" says Tom Lickona.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No surprise, much of the hard work of cultivating a more consistent kindness in children — especially toward people who aren't like them — falls to parents, teachers, and the rest of us grown-ups.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Remember that study of the kids who observed fellow children in distress? The ones who were most likely to help had mothers who were warm and nurturing but also gave direct and firm moral instruction. (The study only examined mothers). These mothers took it very seriously when their child harmed another child. Lickona says they gave clear correction, and did so with feeling. For example, \"You \u003cem>hurt\u003c/em> Amy. Pulling hair hurts. \u003cem>Never \u003c/em>pull hair\u003cem>.\" \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The message? Hurting is a big deal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"As a result, the child was more likely to take it seriously later on and respond compassionately when she saw another child crying on the playground,\" Lickona says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out, kindness is complicated. We're born with the wiring for both kindness and cruelty, so altruism is not inevitable. It's a skill and a habit that we have the power — and responsibility — to foster, one good deed at a time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Kindness+Vs.+Cruelty%3A+Helping+Kids+Hear+The+Better+Angels+Of+Their+Nature&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"A hardwired, us-vs.-them mentality can easily pull kids away from kindness, toward cruelty. Here's what parents can do about it. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1562567865,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":31,"wordCount":1071},"headData":{"title":"Kindness Vs. Cruelty: Helping Kids Hear The Better Angels Of Their Nature | KQED","description":"A hardwired, us-vs.-them mentality can easily pull kids away from kindness, toward cruelty. Here's what parents can do about it. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Kindness Vs. Cruelty: Helping Kids Hear The Better Angels Of Their Nature","datePublished":"2019-07-06T05:59:56.000Z","dateModified":"2019-07-08T06:37:45.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"53917 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=53917","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2019/07/05/kindness-vs-cruelty-helping-kids-hear-the-better-angels-of-their-nature/","disqusTitle":"Kindness Vs. Cruelty: Helping Kids Hear The Better Angels Of Their Nature","nprByline":"Cory Turner and Anya Kamenetz","nprImageAgency":"Laurent Hyrbyk for NPR","nprStoryId":"731346268","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=731346268&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/2019/07/05/731346268/kindness-vs-cruelty-helping-kids-hear-the-better-angels-of-their-nature?ft=nprml&f=731346268","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Fri, 05 Jul 2019 15:40:00 -0400","nprStoryDate":"Fri, 05 Jul 2019 11:10:03 -0400","nprLastModifiedDate":"Fri, 05 Jul 2019 15:40:51 -0400","path":"/mindshift/53917/kindness-vs-cruelty-helping-kids-hear-the-better-angels-of-their-nature","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>This story was adapted from an episode from a Life Kit podcast,\u003c/em>\u003c/strong> \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510344/raising-awesome-kids\">\u003cstrong>Parenting: Raising Awesome Kids\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Are humans born kind?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We both assumed, as parents of young children, that kindness is just something our kids would pick up by osmosis, because we love them. It's a common assumption.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We often just expect people to be kind without talking about it,\" says Jennifer Kotler, vice president of research and evaluation at Sesame Workshop. \"We think, 'Oh, you're a good kid. You're gonna be kind.' \"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now, that's not entirely wrong. Humans are certainly born with a capacity to be kind — even \u003cem>leaning\u003c/em> toward kindness in many situations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We have neurons in our brains, called mirror neurons, and they respond in the same way when we experience pain, say by being pricked with a needle, as they do when we see someone else experience the same thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We also see signs of what is called empathic distress even in babies, says Thomas Lickona, a psychologist and author of \u003cem>How to Raise Kind Kids\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Soon after birth, children will be more likely to cry as a result of hearing another child cry than in response to any other sort of noise,\" says Lickona.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But kindness is about more than sensing someone else's pain. It's also about wanting to do something about it — and then actually being helpful. Lickona says kids show an early preference for helping, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://science.sciencemag.org/content/311/5765/1301.full\">one study\u003c/a>, when toddlers observed an adult appear to accidentally drop something, nearly every one of them responded by helping, usually within seconds, Lickona says. \"And they did this without any request from the adult and without even being thanked by the adult. And it didn't matter whether or not the parent was in the room.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In fact, this preference for helping shows up even earlier. Kiley Hamlin is an associate professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia, and she has used puppets to \u003ca href=\"https://www.nature.com/articles/nature06288#article-info\">test this preference\u003c/a> in babies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hamlin had infants watch as a puppet looked longingly up a hill it wanted to climb. When the puppet tried, though, one of two things happened: Either a helper puppet gave the climber a boost up the hill or, once at the top, the climber puppet got bumped back down by a hinderer puppet. Hamlin then put the helper and hinderer in front of the babies and waited to see which one they preferred.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The surprising thing was the sheer number of babies who were showing this preference for the helper,\" says Hamlin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_53928\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 500px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-53928\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2019/07/nature06288-s1-helper.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"376\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Climber (red circle) fails to get up the hill on its own and is boosted to the top by the Helper (yellow triangle). \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Nature)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_53931\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 500px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-53931\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2019/07/nature06288-s6-hinderer-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The red circle rests at the top of the hill before being pushed down to the bottom by the yellow triangle. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Nature)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://apps.npr.org/dailygraphics/graphics/kindness-20190611?mode=childlink&utm_source=nprnews&utm_medium=app&utm_campaign=storyredirect\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Don't see the graphic above? Click here.\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Between 75% and 100% of babies in these studies tend to reach for, or look longer at, the helper puppet rather than the meanie, Hamlin says. This suggests that even babies are picking up on \"who has goals that need help, who did what to whom, who's a good guy, who's a bad guy, and that they're using this understanding in order to structure sort of their own social preferences.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As we said, in some ways, kids are born kind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But there are also big barriers to kindness. For example, in one \u003ca href=\"https://www.jstor.org/stable/1129406?read-now=1&seq=7#page_scan_tab_contents\">small study\u003c/a>, children who were roughly 2 years old witnessed other kids in distress. Perhaps a fellow child fell on the playground, though not necessarily someone they knew. In only a third of these situations did the bystander children respond with altruism — going over to the child, offering a hug, or calling for an adult.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What gets in the way of kindness? Lots of things. For one, young kids are naturally self-centered. The ability to take others' perspective is something they have to develop through experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There's also temperament. Some kids really can't handle other kids' pain. Or maybe they're shy, or not sure what to do, and they wait for someone else to step up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But there's another, more disturbing barrier to kindness: Tribalism. Not just a preference for those who look and act like us but even a desire to see those not like us treated badly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a \u003ca href=\"https://www.utoronto.ca/news/racial-bias-may-begin-babies-six-months-u-t-research-reveals\">University of Toronto study\u003c/a>, infants as young as six months old showed a preference for members of their own race and against members of different races. And this us vs. them mentality extends beyond physical differences.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hamlin, at the University of British Columbia, introduced a new variable to her puppet shows. When the puppet and baby liked different snacks, the baby wasn't just less kind. She often wanted the puppet that did not share her snack preference \u003cem>punished\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Babies did seem to care more about who was like them than they cared about niceness and meanness,\" says Hamlin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"So here's a real forerunner, evident as early as six months of age, of what becomes ugly prejudice, discrimination and so on later on,\" says Tom Lickona.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No surprise, much of the hard work of cultivating a more consistent kindness in children — especially toward people who aren't like them — falls to parents, teachers, and the rest of us grown-ups.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Remember that study of the kids who observed fellow children in distress? The ones who were most likely to help had mothers who were warm and nurturing but also gave direct and firm moral instruction. (The study only examined mothers). These mothers took it very seriously when their child harmed another child. Lickona says they gave clear correction, and did so with feeling. For example, \"You \u003cem>hurt\u003c/em> Amy. Pulling hair hurts. \u003cem>Never \u003c/em>pull hair\u003cem>.\" \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The message? Hurting is a big deal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"As a result, the child was more likely to take it seriously later on and respond compassionately when she saw another child crying on the playground,\" Lickona says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out, kindness is complicated. We're born with the wiring for both kindness and cruelty, so altruism is not inevitable. It's a skill and a habit that we have the power — and responsibility — to foster, one good deed at a time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Kindness+Vs.+Cruelty%3A+Helping+Kids+Hear+The+Better+Angels+Of+Their+Nature&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/53917/kindness-vs-cruelty-helping-kids-hear-the-better-angels-of-their-nature","authors":["byline_mindshift_53917"],"categories":["mindshift_192"],"tags":["mindshift_20720","mindshift_20955","mindshift_21106","mindshift_943"],"featImg":"mindshift_53918","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_53132":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_53132","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"53132","score":null,"sort":[1560411432000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"concrete-ways-to-help-students-self-regulate-and-prioritize-work","title":"Concrete Ways To Help Students Self-Regulate And Prioritize Work","publishDate":1560411432,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>There are a lot of skills necessary to succeed in school that aren't directly about mastering content, including the ability to recognize, name and control ones emotions. The school day often comes with lots of emotion, everything from elation to frustration, which makes it the perfect place to practice self-regulation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"One of the most authentic ways for me to help them expand their own vocabulary is to use my personal experience with my own emotions in the classroom,\" said Lindsey Minder, a second grade teacher. She regularly \u003ca href=\"https://www.edutopia.org/video/teaching-self-regulation-modeling\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">models describing how she's feeling and why\u003c/a> throughout the school day, as well as demonstrating simple practices like taking a deep breath to calm down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"One of the critical features of learning is modeling,\" said Linda Darling-Hammond, president and CEO of the Learning Policy Institute in an \u003ca href=\"https://www.edutopia.org/how-learning-happens\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Edutopia series\u003c/a> on the science of learning. \"We learn by watching others. In this classroom, we see the teacher modeling her recognition of her emotions and also modeling how she deals with them in productive ways. And that is the first step in helping children learn to manage their own emotions.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This type of modeling also helps students recognize that their teachers are people too, and that like students, they get frustrated when no one listens or follows directions. It builds empathy to know that all humans experience a range of emotions across a day and each person is doing their best to manage them productively.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"700\" height=\"400\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/UD9m5n-ZpB0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" scrolling=\"yes\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Students must also learn and practice how to \u003ca href=\"https://www.edutopia.org/video/developing-executive-function-priority-lists\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">prioritize and tackle tasks\u003c/a> for academic and life success. \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/48315/why-executive-function-skills-take-so-long-to-fully-develop\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Executive function\u003c/a> often develops in middle school when the skills become even more important as students juggle work from multiple classes with many deadlines. Learning how to prioritize work not only makes it feel more manageable, it also helps students use work time efficiently.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Mark Twain said if you wake up every morning and eat a frog, everything else will taste great,\" said eighth grade teacher Catherine Paul. \"So, I taught them to take their frog from the list, which is the thing they want to do the least, and get it out of the way, because everything else will seem easy.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"700\" height=\"400\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/AhoXKhkQ6SE\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" scrolling=\"yes\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Paul guides her students through the process of creating a priority list together so they have a tool to do it on their own later.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Then you can know what to do first and categorize it and get it done efficiently,\" said Arius, an eighth grader.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"When teachers model self-regulation and executive function skills throughout the school day to helps students productively manage their emotions and time.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1560411432,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":true,"iframeSrcs":["https://www.youtube.com/embed/UD9m5n-ZpB0","https://www.youtube.com/embed/AhoXKhkQ6SE"],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":12,"wordCount":411},"headData":{"title":"Concrete Ways To Help Students Self-Regulate And Prioritize Work | KQED","description":"When teachers model self-regulation and executive function skills throughout the school day to helps students productively manage their emotions and time.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Concrete Ways To Help Students Self-Regulate And Prioritize Work","datePublished":"2019-06-13T07:37:12.000Z","dateModified":"2019-06-13T07:37:12.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"53132 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=53132","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2019/06/13/concrete-ways-to-help-students-self-regulate-and-prioritize-work/","disqusTitle":"Concrete Ways To Help Students Self-Regulate And Prioritize Work","path":"/mindshift/53132/concrete-ways-to-help-students-self-regulate-and-prioritize-work","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>There are a lot of skills necessary to succeed in school that aren't directly about mastering content, including the ability to recognize, name and control ones emotions. The school day often comes with lots of emotion, everything from elation to frustration, which makes it the perfect place to practice self-regulation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"One of the most authentic ways for me to help them expand their own vocabulary is to use my personal experience with my own emotions in the classroom,\" said Lindsey Minder, a second grade teacher. She regularly \u003ca href=\"https://www.edutopia.org/video/teaching-self-regulation-modeling\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">models describing how she's feeling and why\u003c/a> throughout the school day, as well as demonstrating simple practices like taking a deep breath to calm down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"One of the critical features of learning is modeling,\" said Linda Darling-Hammond, president and CEO of the Learning Policy Institute in an \u003ca href=\"https://www.edutopia.org/how-learning-happens\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Edutopia series\u003c/a> on the science of learning. \"We learn by watching others. In this classroom, we see the teacher modeling her recognition of her emotions and also modeling how she deals with them in productive ways. And that is the first step in helping children learn to manage their own emotions.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This type of modeling also helps students recognize that their teachers are people too, and that like students, they get frustrated when no one listens or follows directions. It builds empathy to know that all humans experience a range of emotions across a day and each person is doing their best to manage them productively.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"700\" height=\"400\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/UD9m5n-ZpB0\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" scrolling=\"yes\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Students must also learn and practice how to \u003ca href=\"https://www.edutopia.org/video/developing-executive-function-priority-lists\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">prioritize and tackle tasks\u003c/a> for academic and life success. \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/48315/why-executive-function-skills-take-so-long-to-fully-develop\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Executive function\u003c/a> often develops in middle school when the skills become even more important as students juggle work from multiple classes with many deadlines. Learning how to prioritize work not only makes it feel more manageable, it also helps students use work time efficiently.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Mark Twain said if you wake up every morning and eat a frog, everything else will taste great,\" said eighth grade teacher Catherine Paul. \"So, I taught them to take their frog from the list, which is the thing they want to do the least, and get it out of the way, because everything else will seem easy.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"700\" height=\"400\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/AhoXKhkQ6SE\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" scrolling=\"yes\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Paul guides her students through the process of creating a priority list together so they have a tool to do it on their own later.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Then you can know what to do first and categorize it and get it done efficiently,\" said Arius, an eighth grader.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/53132/concrete-ways-to-help-students-self-regulate-and-prioritize-work","authors":["234"],"categories":["mindshift_193"],"tags":["mindshift_20955","mindshift_20784","mindshift_1040","mindshift_145","mindshift_21252"],"featImg":"mindshift_53838","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_52852":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_52852","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"52852","score":null,"sort":[1548142749000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"five-ways-to-help-children-with-adhd-develop-their-strengths","title":"Five Ways to Help Children with ADHD Develop Their Strengths","publishDate":1548142749,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What is it like to be a kid with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder? Children with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/research.html\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">ADHD\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> often struggle academically, socially and emotionally. They may be disorganized, forgetful, easily distracted and impulsive. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And like all kids, they want to feel normal, says \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://drsharonsaline.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Dr. Sharon Saline\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, author of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/What-Your-ADHD-Child-Wishes/dp/0143132393\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Saline, a psychotherapist who works with ADHD children and their families, argues that an informed empathy for ADHD children -- for what they experience on a daily basis -- can inspire parents and teachers to work with these children in ways that will help them grow into responsible and happy adults.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">She advocates the Five C’s method -- self-Control, Compassion, Collaboration, Consistency and Celebration -- as a roadmap for reducing family stress and equipping children with the skills they need to thrive.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Self-Control\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Self-control isn’t just a skill for children, says Saline. Raising a child with ADHD can test parents’ patience, so she advocates “learning to manage your own feelings first so you can teach your child to do the same.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline says that it’s distressing for kids when parents absorb and reflect their distress. Children in her practice want their parents to know, “If I’m upset and then you get upset, there’s nobody to help me rein it in and get back to center. If you lose it in response to my losing it, it’s kindling on the fire.” Kids with ADHD need adults to model how to manage emotions in the face distress. Remember that self-regulation is a skill -- something that children and adults can strengthen with strategic practices such as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/31291/why-teaching-mindfulness-benefits-students-learning\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">mindfulness\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/46150/why-teachers-say-practicing-mindfulness-is-transforming-the-work\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">training\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Compassion\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline likens ADHD to a constant barrage of “small ‘t’ traumas.” These children experience “the accumulation of a thousand paper cuts that wear down their positive self-concept.” If we want children with ADHD to develop self-compassion, they have to first experience it from others. When parents and adults constantly point out deficits, children run the risk of viewing themselves as inherently deficient. Saline says kids want to tell adults, “I need to you understand and accept me even if I don’t understand and accept myself.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline describes compassion as “meeting your child where they are, not where you expect them to be. When you accept the brain that your child has and who your child is, it makes all the difference for them.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Collaboration\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If parents and teachers can project self-control and compassion, it becomes easier to collaborate with children on practical strategies that will help them grow. Saline advocates working together with children to find solutions rather than imposing top-down rules. “What kids tell me is that they want to have a say in the plans that are made that are supposed to help them,” says Saline. “They get feedback from people all the time on what they could be doing differently. When there’s buy-in from the child, there’s more participation, more collaboration and more value.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Here’s a strategy Saline recommends to families and educators: sit down and jointly identify a list of things you want to work on -- things that will make daily life at home or school a little easier. “You may have 15 items on your list, and your child may have two. But those two things will also be on your list, so go with those two.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For example, if you are constantly fighting because your child’s room is a mess, you will probably both identify that issue. So how do you teach organization? As the adult, you have to participate in this, at least initially, says Saline. “It’s not going to work to say, ‘Go clean your room.’ They will find one item and say, ‘Wow, where has this been?’ – and then they are gone.” Adults can be the child’s “double” and help scaffold their success until they have mastered the skill on their own. This might include talking through the plan and creating a checklist that you tackle together. Try turning needed tasks into a game, says Saline. “Turn on tunes that they like and say, ‘We are going to take 15 minutes and put your room in order together.'” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline describes a grandfather who sat in his grandson’s room and called out one item at a time (“Shirts!” “Socks!”) until the room was cleaned. “He was helping build the executive functioning skills of sorting, sequencing and prioritizing all at the same time.” When you model how to attack an overwhelming task, “you are helping your child build fundamental skills.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Consistency\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Children with ADHD respond well to predictable routines that help them organize their day. This includes consistent rules and consequences. When possible, says Saline, “do what you say you will do” while recognizing that you are aiming for steady, not perfection. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline says that the kids she works with “can’t stand it when parents say they are going to do something and then they don’t do it.” For example, a parent might say, “I’m not going to pick up your stuff anymore,” and then clean up their child’s piles when they are at school. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“For concrete thinkers, this is very confusing,” says Saline. “They will continue to push you because they don’t know where the limit is. The limit keeps changing.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Celebration \u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline estimates that the ratio of positive to negative feedback ADHD children receive is 1:15. Kids often feel like adults only notice when they “mess up,” not when they try. Saline says that children and teens with ADHD can grow wary of feedback because it so rarely focuses on their strengths. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“We have to pay attention to kids trying, even if they are not succeeding,” says Saline. “Practice makes progress; we are looking for progress, not perfection. We have to focus on the process more than the product. It’s the \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">process\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that will help the kids build the executive functioning skills they need for productive adulthood. When we notice that they are actually turning in homework four-fifths of the time when it used to be two-fifths? Well, that’s progress.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Look for ways to celebrate your child’s strengths, says Saline. “They get up in the morning, they go to school, and they do it over and over and over again. That is a strength. Build on that desire to try. We often look at what the shortfall is. We have to tap into these strengths.” Pay attention to children’s interests and skills -- from technology to doodling to drama -- and explore ways children can use these interests to strengthen other areas of their life. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline describes one little boy she worked with who had big feelings to manage. She asked him if he would like to take an improv class. Four years later, he is a fixture in drama performances, an activity that builds executive functioning skills such as memory, planning, and focus.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reversing the positive to negative feedback ratio isn’t always easy, says Sailne. “If you have a day where your teen is driving you crazy, and all that you can find to celebrate is the fact that they are showering and brushing their teeth, that’s what you are talking about: ‘You smell good. Nice T-Shirt.’” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helping ADHD Kids Understand Their Brain\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline says that medication can help some kids with ADHD but “but pills don’t teach skills.” Children need consistent support in developing their executive functioning skills. “You have to separate your brain with your sense of self. It’s easy for these kids to ask, ‘What’s wrong with ME? Why am I less than? Why am I failing?’” Instead, she talks to kids about how their brain works, how it grows, and what they can do to strengthen their executive functioning skills. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This type of language helps kids “create space between ‘what my brain is’ and ‘what I am,’” separating the experience from the person. For example, instead of “I am a distracted person,” kids learn to say, “I am training my brain to focus better. Here’s how I’m doing it.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Teachers can help children with ADHD by overtly teaching executive functioning skills and integrating this language into their lessons. For example, when introducing a task such as writing a story, ask students what executive functioning skills they will need to use -- e.g. shifting from listening to thinking, planning and organizing -- and offer help if they find themselves struggling with one of these steps in the process. “Remember,” says Saline, “you are talking about the skills, not the child.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>The Good News for Parents\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If your child has just been diagnosed with ADHD or if you are struggling to help your child manage their life, Saline offers these words of support.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">First, development is in your child’s favor. “The brain is developing and will continue to develop. Where your child is now is not where they will be in a year. Focus on the now, not on your worries about the five years from now.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Second, your efforts matter. “What kids tell me over and over again is that they wouldn’t get through without their parents. You matter more than you think you do.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Finally, she has seen countless children with ADHD develop into flourishing adults. “When kids are treated properly and given opportunities to learn the skills they need, their life with ADHD can be wonderful.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Dr. Sharon Saline focuses on self-Control, Compassion, Collaboration, Consistency and Celebration as a roadmap for reducing family stress and equipping children with ADHD with the skills they need to thrive.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1548697035,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":35,"wordCount":1716},"headData":{"title":"Five Ways to Help Children with ADHD Develop Their Strengths | KQED","description":"Dr. Sharon Saline focuses on self-Control, Compassion, Collaboration, Consistency and Celebration as a roadmap for reducing family stress and equipping children with ADHD with the skills they need to thrive.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Five Ways to Help Children with ADHD Develop Their Strengths","datePublished":"2019-01-22T07:39:09.000Z","dateModified":"2019-01-28T17:37:15.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"52852 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=52852","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2019/01/21/five-ways-to-help-children-with-adhd-develop-their-strengths/","disqusTitle":"Five Ways to Help Children with ADHD Develop Their Strengths","path":"/mindshift/52852/five-ways-to-help-children-with-adhd-develop-their-strengths","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What is it like to be a kid with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder? Children with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/research.html\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">ADHD\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> often struggle academically, socially and emotionally. They may be disorganized, forgetful, easily distracted and impulsive. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And like all kids, they want to feel normal, says \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://drsharonsaline.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Dr. Sharon Saline\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, author of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/What-Your-ADHD-Child-Wishes/dp/0143132393\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Saline, a psychotherapist who works with ADHD children and their families, argues that an informed empathy for ADHD children -- for what they experience on a daily basis -- can inspire parents and teachers to work with these children in ways that will help them grow into responsible and happy adults.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">She advocates the Five C’s method -- self-Control, Compassion, Collaboration, Consistency and Celebration -- as a roadmap for reducing family stress and equipping children with the skills they need to thrive.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Self-Control\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Self-control isn’t just a skill for children, says Saline. Raising a child with ADHD can test parents’ patience, so she advocates “learning to manage your own feelings first so you can teach your child to do the same.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline says that it’s distressing for kids when parents absorb and reflect their distress. Children in her practice want their parents to know, “If I’m upset and then you get upset, there’s nobody to help me rein it in and get back to center. If you lose it in response to my losing it, it’s kindling on the fire.” Kids with ADHD need adults to model how to manage emotions in the face distress. Remember that self-regulation is a skill -- something that children and adults can strengthen with strategic practices such as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/31291/why-teaching-mindfulness-benefits-students-learning\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">mindfulness\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/46150/why-teachers-say-practicing-mindfulness-is-transforming-the-work\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">training\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Compassion\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline likens ADHD to a constant barrage of “small ‘t’ traumas.” These children experience “the accumulation of a thousand paper cuts that wear down their positive self-concept.” If we want children with ADHD to develop self-compassion, they have to first experience it from others. When parents and adults constantly point out deficits, children run the risk of viewing themselves as inherently deficient. Saline says kids want to tell adults, “I need to you understand and accept me even if I don’t understand and accept myself.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline describes compassion as “meeting your child where they are, not where you expect them to be. When you accept the brain that your child has and who your child is, it makes all the difference for them.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Collaboration\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If parents and teachers can project self-control and compassion, it becomes easier to collaborate with children on practical strategies that will help them grow. Saline advocates working together with children to find solutions rather than imposing top-down rules. “What kids tell me is that they want to have a say in the plans that are made that are supposed to help them,” says Saline. “They get feedback from people all the time on what they could be doing differently. When there’s buy-in from the child, there’s more participation, more collaboration and more value.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Here’s a strategy Saline recommends to families and educators: sit down and jointly identify a list of things you want to work on -- things that will make daily life at home or school a little easier. “You may have 15 items on your list, and your child may have two. But those two things will also be on your list, so go with those two.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For example, if you are constantly fighting because your child’s room is a mess, you will probably both identify that issue. So how do you teach organization? As the adult, you have to participate in this, at least initially, says Saline. “It’s not going to work to say, ‘Go clean your room.’ They will find one item and say, ‘Wow, where has this been?’ – and then they are gone.” Adults can be the child’s “double” and help scaffold their success until they have mastered the skill on their own. This might include talking through the plan and creating a checklist that you tackle together. Try turning needed tasks into a game, says Saline. “Turn on tunes that they like and say, ‘We are going to take 15 minutes and put your room in order together.'” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline describes a grandfather who sat in his grandson’s room and called out one item at a time (“Shirts!” “Socks!”) until the room was cleaned. “He was helping build the executive functioning skills of sorting, sequencing and prioritizing all at the same time.” When you model how to attack an overwhelming task, “you are helping your child build fundamental skills.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Consistency\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Children with ADHD respond well to predictable routines that help them organize their day. This includes consistent rules and consequences. When possible, says Saline, “do what you say you will do” while recognizing that you are aiming for steady, not perfection. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline says that the kids she works with “can’t stand it when parents say they are going to do something and then they don’t do it.” For example, a parent might say, “I’m not going to pick up your stuff anymore,” and then clean up their child’s piles when they are at school. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“For concrete thinkers, this is very confusing,” says Saline. “They will continue to push you because they don’t know where the limit is. The limit keeps changing.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Celebration \u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline estimates that the ratio of positive to negative feedback ADHD children receive is 1:15. Kids often feel like adults only notice when they “mess up,” not when they try. Saline says that children and teens with ADHD can grow wary of feedback because it so rarely focuses on their strengths. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“We have to pay attention to kids trying, even if they are not succeeding,” says Saline. “Practice makes progress; we are looking for progress, not perfection. We have to focus on the process more than the product. It’s the \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">process\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that will help the kids build the executive functioning skills they need for productive adulthood. When we notice that they are actually turning in homework four-fifths of the time when it used to be two-fifths? Well, that’s progress.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Look for ways to celebrate your child’s strengths, says Saline. “They get up in the morning, they go to school, and they do it over and over and over again. That is a strength. Build on that desire to try. We often look at what the shortfall is. We have to tap into these strengths.” Pay attention to children’s interests and skills -- from technology to doodling to drama -- and explore ways children can use these interests to strengthen other areas of their life. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline describes one little boy she worked with who had big feelings to manage. She asked him if he would like to take an improv class. Four years later, he is a fixture in drama performances, an activity that builds executive functioning skills such as memory, planning, and focus.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reversing the positive to negative feedback ratio isn’t always easy, says Sailne. “If you have a day where your teen is driving you crazy, and all that you can find to celebrate is the fact that they are showering and brushing their teeth, that’s what you are talking about: ‘You smell good. Nice T-Shirt.’” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Helping ADHD Kids Understand Their Brain\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Saline says that medication can help some kids with ADHD but “but pills don’t teach skills.” Children need consistent support in developing their executive functioning skills. “You have to separate your brain with your sense of self. It’s easy for these kids to ask, ‘What’s wrong with ME? Why am I less than? Why am I failing?’” Instead, she talks to kids about how their brain works, how it grows, and what they can do to strengthen their executive functioning skills. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This type of language helps kids “create space between ‘what my brain is’ and ‘what I am,’” separating the experience from the person. For example, instead of “I am a distracted person,” kids learn to say, “I am training my brain to focus better. Here’s how I’m doing it.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Teachers can help children with ADHD by overtly teaching executive functioning skills and integrating this language into their lessons. For example, when introducing a task such as writing a story, ask students what executive functioning skills they will need to use -- e.g. shifting from listening to thinking, planning and organizing -- and offer help if they find themselves struggling with one of these steps in the process. “Remember,” says Saline, “you are talking about the skills, not the child.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>The Good News for Parents\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If your child has just been diagnosed with ADHD or if you are struggling to help your child manage their life, Saline offers these words of support.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">First, development is in your child’s favor. “The brain is developing and will continue to develop. Where your child is now is not where they will be in a year. Focus on the now, not on your worries about the five years from now.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Second, your efforts matter. “What kids tell me over and over again is that they wouldn’t get through without their parents. You matter more than you think you do.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Finally, she has seen countless children with ADHD develop into flourishing adults. “When kids are treated properly and given opportunities to learn the skills they need, their life with ADHD can be wonderful.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/52852/five-ways-to-help-children-with-adhd-develop-their-strengths","authors":["11087"],"categories":["mindshift_192"],"tags":["mindshift_20862","mindshift_20589","mindshift_20955","mindshift_20784","mindshift_1040"],"featImg":"mindshift_52915","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_52393":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_52393","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"52393","score":null,"sort":[1543215644000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-parents-can-create-a-nightly-homework-ritual-for-reluctant-children","title":"How Parents Can Create a Nightly Homework Ritual for Reluctant Children","publishDate":1543215644,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cstrong>By \u003ca href=\"https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/ed/18/08/prime-time-parenting\">Heather Miller\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s hard to fault the child who resists doing homework. After all, she has already put in a long day at school, probably been involved in afterschool activities, and, as the late afternoon spills into evening, now faces a pile of assignments. Parents feel it, too — it’s no one’s favorite time of day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But despite its bad rap, homework plays an important role in ensuring that students can execute tasks independently. When it’s thoughtfully assigned, homework provides deeper engagement with material introduced in class. And even when it’s \"just\" worksheets, homework can build the automatic habits and the basic skills required to tackle more interesting endeavors. Finally, homework is a nightly test of grit. Adult life brings its share of tasks that are both compulsory and unenjoyable. Developing the discipline to fulfill our responsibilities, regardless of whether they thrill us, begins in middle childhood.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So how to help the avoidant child embrace the challenge, rather than resist it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The first step, especially with kids 13 and under, is to have them do their homework at a communal space, like a dining room or kitchen table. If other children are in the home, they can all do their homework at the same table, and the parent can sit nearby to support the work effort. This alleviates some of the loneliness a reluctant child might associate with assignments. The alternative — doing homework at a bedroom desk — can result in the child guiltily avoiding the work for as long as possible. Like all forms of procrastination, this has the effect of making the entire process take much longer than it needs to.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many parents are under the impression that they shouldn’t have anything to do with their children's homework. This comes from schools emphasizing that homework is a child's responsibility, not the parents'. While it is absolutely true that parents should not do their children's homework, there \u003cem>is\u003c/em> a role for parents — one that's perhaps best described as “homework project manager.” Parents can be monitoring, organizing, motivating, and praising the homework effort as it gets done. And yes, that means sitting with your child to help them stay focused and on task. Your presence sends the message that homework is important business, not to be taken lightly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once you’re sitting down with your child, ask him to unload his school bag and talk you through his various assignments. Maybe he has a school planner with all his homework listed, or a printout from school, or perhaps his work is listed on the classroom website. Many children attend an afterschool program where, in theory, they are doing homework. They’ll often claim that they’ve done all their homework, even though they’ve only done some. Together, make a quick and easy “Done/To Do” list. Writing down what she has finished will give her a sense of satisfaction. Identifying what she still needs to do will help her to focus on the remaining assignments. Over time, this practice will help your child build an understanding that large tasks are completed incrementally.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Next, ask your child to put the assignments in the order he’d like to do them. Encourage him to explain his thinking. Doing this helps a child feel in control of the evening’s tasks and prompts him to reflect on his work style. Discuss the first task of the night together. Ask your child to think about the supplies he is likely to need, and ensure they’re at the ready. This “pre-work” work helps a child think through a task, understand it, and prepare to execute it with gusto.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Last but not least, introduce a timer to the evening’s proceedings. Challenge your child to estimate how long the first assignment will take. Then ask, “Do you want me to set the timer for the full amount of time you think you’ll need, or a smaller amount?” Then, set the timer with the understanding that the child must work without interruption until the timer goes off. Even questions are verboten while the timer runs. The goal here is to enable the child to solve problems independently, through concentration. This not only builds concentration powers, it builds creativity, critical thinking, resilience, and resourcefulness. In my experience, the theatricality of being timed helps relax children who would otherwise feel daunted by a mountain of homework.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As each piece of work gets done, parents can add meaningful positive reinforcement. Exclaiming, “Another assignment done! And done well!” helps your child feel like what they are doing matters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By turning the homework ritual into a series of conversations about what needs to be done, how, and for how long, children feel less “alone” with their nightly work, they relish the company and support of their parent, and they complete the work much more efficiently and at a higher standard than they might otherwise.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"uk-media-detail__about-author__teaser\">\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/ed/18/08/prime-time-parenting\">Heather Miller\u003c/a> is the director of LePage-Miller, an education firm based in New York City. She is the author of Prime Time Parenting, a guide to parenting in the digital age, with a focus on developing evening routines that work for kids and parents. This post originally appeared in\u003c/em>\u003cem> \u003ca href=\"https://www.gse.harvard.edu/uk\">Usable Knowledge\u003c/a>, which translates education research and well-tested practices so they're accessible to practitioners, policymakers, and parents. \u003ca href=\"https://www.gse.harvard.edu/uk\">Usable Knowledge \u003c/a>is based at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. \u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"A mountain of homework at the end of a long day can feel like insurmountable. Here are some tips to help kids feel less alone and more empowered to tackle their work. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1543215644,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":13,"wordCount":945},"headData":{"title":"How Parents Can Create a Nightly Homework Ritual for Reluctant Children | KQED","description":"A mountain of homework at the end of a long day can feel like insurmountable. Here are some tips to help kids feel less alone and more empowered to tackle their work. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"How Parents Can Create a Nightly Homework Ritual for Reluctant Children","datePublished":"2018-11-26T07:00:44.000Z","dateModified":"2018-11-26T07:00:44.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"52393 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=52393","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2018/11/25/how-parents-can-create-a-nightly-homework-ritual-for-reluctant-children/","disqusTitle":"How Parents Can Create a Nightly Homework Ritual for Reluctant Children","path":"/mindshift/52393/how-parents-can-create-a-nightly-homework-ritual-for-reluctant-children","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>By \u003ca href=\"https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/ed/18/08/prime-time-parenting\">Heather Miller\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s hard to fault the child who resists doing homework. After all, she has already put in a long day at school, probably been involved in afterschool activities, and, as the late afternoon spills into evening, now faces a pile of assignments. Parents feel it, too — it’s no one’s favorite time of day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But despite its bad rap, homework plays an important role in ensuring that students can execute tasks independently. When it’s thoughtfully assigned, homework provides deeper engagement with material introduced in class. And even when it’s \"just\" worksheets, homework can build the automatic habits and the basic skills required to tackle more interesting endeavors. Finally, homework is a nightly test of grit. Adult life brings its share of tasks that are both compulsory and unenjoyable. Developing the discipline to fulfill our responsibilities, regardless of whether they thrill us, begins in middle childhood.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So how to help the avoidant child embrace the challenge, rather than resist it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The first step, especially with kids 13 and under, is to have them do their homework at a communal space, like a dining room or kitchen table. If other children are in the home, they can all do their homework at the same table, and the parent can sit nearby to support the work effort. This alleviates some of the loneliness a reluctant child might associate with assignments. The alternative — doing homework at a bedroom desk — can result in the child guiltily avoiding the work for as long as possible. Like all forms of procrastination, this has the effect of making the entire process take much longer than it needs to.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many parents are under the impression that they shouldn’t have anything to do with their children's homework. This comes from schools emphasizing that homework is a child's responsibility, not the parents'. While it is absolutely true that parents should not do their children's homework, there \u003cem>is\u003c/em> a role for parents — one that's perhaps best described as “homework project manager.” Parents can be monitoring, organizing, motivating, and praising the homework effort as it gets done. And yes, that means sitting with your child to help them stay focused and on task. Your presence sends the message that homework is important business, not to be taken lightly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once you’re sitting down with your child, ask him to unload his school bag and talk you through his various assignments. Maybe he has a school planner with all his homework listed, or a printout from school, or perhaps his work is listed on the classroom website. Many children attend an afterschool program where, in theory, they are doing homework. They’ll often claim that they’ve done all their homework, even though they’ve only done some. Together, make a quick and easy “Done/To Do” list. Writing down what she has finished will give her a sense of satisfaction. Identifying what she still needs to do will help her to focus on the remaining assignments. Over time, this practice will help your child build an understanding that large tasks are completed incrementally.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Next, ask your child to put the assignments in the order he’d like to do them. Encourage him to explain his thinking. Doing this helps a child feel in control of the evening’s tasks and prompts him to reflect on his work style. Discuss the first task of the night together. Ask your child to think about the supplies he is likely to need, and ensure they’re at the ready. This “pre-work” work helps a child think through a task, understand it, and prepare to execute it with gusto.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Last but not least, introduce a timer to the evening’s proceedings. Challenge your child to estimate how long the first assignment will take. Then ask, “Do you want me to set the timer for the full amount of time you think you’ll need, or a smaller amount?” Then, set the timer with the understanding that the child must work without interruption until the timer goes off. Even questions are verboten while the timer runs. The goal here is to enable the child to solve problems independently, through concentration. This not only builds concentration powers, it builds creativity, critical thinking, resilience, and resourcefulness. In my experience, the theatricality of being timed helps relax children who would otherwise feel daunted by a mountain of homework.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As each piece of work gets done, parents can add meaningful positive reinforcement. Exclaiming, “Another assignment done! And done well!” helps your child feel like what they are doing matters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By turning the homework ritual into a series of conversations about what needs to be done, how, and for how long, children feel less “alone” with their nightly work, they relish the company and support of their parent, and they complete the work much more efficiently and at a higher standard than they might otherwise.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"uk-media-detail__about-author__teaser\">\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/ed/18/08/prime-time-parenting\">Heather Miller\u003c/a> is the director of LePage-Miller, an education firm based in New York City. She is the author of Prime Time Parenting, a guide to parenting in the digital age, with a focus on developing evening routines that work for kids and parents. This post originally appeared in\u003c/em>\u003cem> \u003ca href=\"https://www.gse.harvard.edu/uk\">Usable Knowledge\u003c/a>, which translates education research and well-tested practices so they're accessible to practitioners, policymakers, and parents. \u003ca href=\"https://www.gse.harvard.edu/uk\">Usable Knowledge \u003c/a>is based at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. \u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/52393/how-parents-can-create-a-nightly-homework-ritual-for-reluctant-children","authors":["4354"],"categories":["mindshift_192","mindshift_193"],"tags":["mindshift_20955","mindshift_20784","mindshift_1040","mindshift_563","mindshift_20568"],"featImg":"mindshift_52573","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_50947":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_50947","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"50947","score":null,"sort":[1525845636000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-reverse-planning-for-goals-can-help-students-succeed-in-school","title":"How Reverse Planning for Goals Can Help Students Succeed in School","publishDate":1525845636,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>When Mamie, a 12\u003csup>th\u003c/sup> grader, has a long-term project ahead of her, she starts by making a list of everything she needs to do to finish the assignment. At some point in the day, she takes out her calendar and writes out—by hand—what she needs to complete. “Every day I work on a different task or topic,” she said, crossing off the work when she’s through so she can see what’s remaining. She builds in extra time in case she’s underestimated how time-consuming a particular task might be and sets reminders to keep herself on schedule.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like most successful students, she understands that she can’t float along and simply assume that she’ll get to the necessary work by accident. She recognizes that being purposeful about her assignments, by structuring her time and planning her schedule, is essential to tackling all her work—and allowing time for what she loves outside school. Decades of studies on planning support her instinctive approach: under the right circumstances, planning can \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232516645_Effects_of_temptation-inhibiting_and_task-facilitating_plans_on_self-control\">enhance\u003c/a> self-control, \u003ca href=\"http://www.psych.nyu.edu/gollwitzer/97GollBrand_ImpIntGoalPurs.pdf\">contribute\u003c/a> to better school performance and help people \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0065260106380021\">achieve\u003c/a> goals.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But according to a team of scholars at the University of Iowa who analyzed these studies, little research has been done to evaluate the effect of \u003cem>how\u003c/em> people construct plans on the plan’s outcome—that is, how well the plan worked. The trio of investigators—Jooyoung Park, Fang-Chi Lu and William Hedgcock—conducted five separate studies with about 300 university students to find out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They identified two principal methods of planning: the forward variety, where the planner pinpoints tasks closest chronologically to the present and moves forward toward the goal; and reverse planning, where the planner starts with the end goal and works backward from there. A reverse plan for a research paper, for example, would start with the due date, then determine when a first draft would have to be done, and before that when research would need to be completed, and so on, going backward to the present.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The researchers \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28910234\">devised\u003c/a> various studies with students who had real-life goals to grapple with. As a way to find out if planning order affected motivation, one study involving 44 undergraduates enrolled in a university course were divided into two groups and instructed to plan for an upcoming exam. Half planned forward, and the other backward, but all had to incorporate 15 identical activities related to exam preparation into their plan. The kinds of activities that might be included in exam preparation were “read chapter 7,” “read chapter 8,” “review articles,” “make a summary of notes,” and “review key concepts.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Forward planners typically began the process by identifying what they needed to do before they could achieve their goals, and then slotted in those prep activities that were closest to the present—i.e., “read chapter 7”—and moving forward. Reverse planners typically began their plan with the activity that was furthest from the present and closest to the exam—i.e., “review key concepts”—and moved chronologically backwards from there. In the end, both forward and backward planners came up with very similar looking plans, Hedgcock said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Other studies included students in different settings to assess how planning order affects motivation and actual academic performance, and to evaluate the role of goal complexity in planning. In all the studies, students were responsible for coming up with their own plans.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To their surprise, researchers discovered a marked difference in success between forward and backward planning. “Backward planning could change the actual outcome, student’s grades on an exam, in addition to motivation and perceptions,” Park said about their findings. This held true only when the goal was complex, Park added—say, a comprehensive final exam that required reviewing and integrating a lot of information, or a long-term research project that involved a sequence of related steps.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even among the collection of students whose 15 exam-prep activities were identical, and whose plans looked alike, the results were striking. “The effects don’t seem to be driven by the plan itself,” Hedgcock said. “They seem to be driven by how the plan was \u003cem>constructed\u003c/em>,” he added.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Reverse planning for challenging assignments is more effective than forward planning for a few reasons, the researchers noted. For one, it helps the planner consider critical steps and then identify likely obstacles—all from the point of view of having completed the goal, which sharpens clarity. “When visualizing the endpoint, things seem clearer and more positive,” said William Hedgcock. “If you start at the present, you could go this way or that way—it can be more negative,” he added, because of the multiple possible steps to be taken. Backward planning also kickstarts motivation at the time when inspiration lags most, during the middle of a goal pursuit. Finally, backward planning from an imaginary finished goal lessened the perception of time pressure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These findings could have broad applications. Though the studies involved college kids, high school students would likely experience similar results, Hedgcock said. Also, while “complexity is in the eye of the beholder,” he said, a student who \u003cem>perceives\u003c/em> an assignment to be complex might be more successful if she constructs a plan that starts with the end goal. “I have a four-and seven-year old, and figuring out what to wear to school every day is complex for them,” he said. Reverse planning might also help kids whose motivation often wilts, or who have lost track of what they’re trying to achieve, or who frequently feel strapped for time while working on tough projects. Though the studies did not look at different cohorts of kids, the finding suggests that children who struggle with executive function might benefit from this type of preparation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The researchers were quick to point out the limits to their work. They hadn’t accounted for individual differences among the college students, which could play a role in outcomes. Their work consisted of just five studies, and included only university students. For simple goals, backward planning has no effect. “It’s something that should be examined further,” Hedgcock said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nevertheless, the results suggest that students (and adults) could improve their ability to achieve certain goals by adjusting how they plan for them. “It’s a powerful finding,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Planning a project or creating a study schedule for an exam with the end goal in sight can help give students greater clarity and kickstart motivation when it might seem to lag the most. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1525845636,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":15,"wordCount":1116},"headData":{"title":"How Reverse Planning for Goals Can Help Students Succeed in School | KQED","description":"Planning a project or creating a study schedule for an exam with the end goal in sight can help give students greater clarity and kickstart motivation when it might seem to lag the most. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"How Reverse Planning for Goals Can Help Students Succeed in School","datePublished":"2018-05-09T06:00:36.000Z","dateModified":"2018-05-09T06:00:36.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"disqusIdentifier":"50947 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=50947","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2018/05/08/how-reverse-planning-for-goals-can-help-students-succeed-in-school/","disqusTitle":"How Reverse Planning for Goals Can Help Students Succeed in School","path":"/mindshift/50947/how-reverse-planning-for-goals-can-help-students-succeed-in-school","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>When Mamie, a 12\u003csup>th\u003c/sup> grader, has a long-term project ahead of her, she starts by making a list of everything she needs to do to finish the assignment. At some point in the day, she takes out her calendar and writes out—by hand—what she needs to complete. “Every day I work on a different task or topic,” she said, crossing off the work when she’s through so she can see what’s remaining. She builds in extra time in case she’s underestimated how time-consuming a particular task might be and sets reminders to keep herself on schedule.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like most successful students, she understands that she can’t float along and simply assume that she’ll get to the necessary work by accident. She recognizes that being purposeful about her assignments, by structuring her time and planning her schedule, is essential to tackling all her work—and allowing time for what she loves outside school. Decades of studies on planning support her instinctive approach: under the right circumstances, planning can \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232516645_Effects_of_temptation-inhibiting_and_task-facilitating_plans_on_self-control\">enhance\u003c/a> self-control, \u003ca href=\"http://www.psych.nyu.edu/gollwitzer/97GollBrand_ImpIntGoalPurs.pdf\">contribute\u003c/a> to better school performance and help people \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0065260106380021\">achieve\u003c/a> goals.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But according to a team of scholars at the University of Iowa who analyzed these studies, little research has been done to evaluate the effect of \u003cem>how\u003c/em> people construct plans on the plan’s outcome—that is, how well the plan worked. The trio of investigators—Jooyoung Park, Fang-Chi Lu and William Hedgcock—conducted five separate studies with about 300 university students to find out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They identified two principal methods of planning: the forward variety, where the planner pinpoints tasks closest chronologically to the present and moves forward toward the goal; and reverse planning, where the planner starts with the end goal and works backward from there. A reverse plan for a research paper, for example, would start with the due date, then determine when a first draft would have to be done, and before that when research would need to be completed, and so on, going backward to the present.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The researchers \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28910234\">devised\u003c/a> various studies with students who had real-life goals to grapple with. As a way to find out if planning order affected motivation, one study involving 44 undergraduates enrolled in a university course were divided into two groups and instructed to plan for an upcoming exam. Half planned forward, and the other backward, but all had to incorporate 15 identical activities related to exam preparation into their plan. The kinds of activities that might be included in exam preparation were “read chapter 7,” “read chapter 8,” “review articles,” “make a summary of notes,” and “review key concepts.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Forward planners typically began the process by identifying what they needed to do before they could achieve their goals, and then slotted in those prep activities that were closest to the present—i.e., “read chapter 7”—and moving forward. Reverse planners typically began their plan with the activity that was furthest from the present and closest to the exam—i.e., “review key concepts”—and moved chronologically backwards from there. In the end, both forward and backward planners came up with very similar looking plans, Hedgcock said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Other studies included students in different settings to assess how planning order affects motivation and actual academic performance, and to evaluate the role of goal complexity in planning. In all the studies, students were responsible for coming up with their own plans.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To their surprise, researchers discovered a marked difference in success between forward and backward planning. “Backward planning could change the actual outcome, student’s grades on an exam, in addition to motivation and perceptions,” Park said about their findings. This held true only when the goal was complex, Park added—say, a comprehensive final exam that required reviewing and integrating a lot of information, or a long-term research project that involved a sequence of related steps.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even among the collection of students whose 15 exam-prep activities were identical, and whose plans looked alike, the results were striking. “The effects don’t seem to be driven by the plan itself,” Hedgcock said. “They seem to be driven by how the plan was \u003cem>constructed\u003c/em>,” he added.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Reverse planning for challenging assignments is more effective than forward planning for a few reasons, the researchers noted. For one, it helps the planner consider critical steps and then identify likely obstacles—all from the point of view of having completed the goal, which sharpens clarity. “When visualizing the endpoint, things seem clearer and more positive,” said William Hedgcock. “If you start at the present, you could go this way or that way—it can be more negative,” he added, because of the multiple possible steps to be taken. Backward planning also kickstarts motivation at the time when inspiration lags most, during the middle of a goal pursuit. Finally, backward planning from an imaginary finished goal lessened the perception of time pressure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These findings could have broad applications. Though the studies involved college kids, high school students would likely experience similar results, Hedgcock said. Also, while “complexity is in the eye of the beholder,” he said, a student who \u003cem>perceives\u003c/em> an assignment to be complex might be more successful if she constructs a plan that starts with the end goal. “I have a four-and seven-year old, and figuring out what to wear to school every day is complex for them,” he said. Reverse planning might also help kids whose motivation often wilts, or who have lost track of what they’re trying to achieve, or who frequently feel strapped for time while working on tough projects. Though the studies did not look at different cohorts of kids, the finding suggests that children who struggle with executive function might benefit from this type of preparation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The researchers were quick to point out the limits to their work. They hadn’t accounted for individual differences among the college students, which could play a role in outcomes. Their work consisted of just five studies, and included only university students. For simple goals, backward planning has no effect. “It’s something that should be examined further,” Hedgcock said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nevertheless, the results suggest that students (and adults) could improve their ability to achieve certain goals by adjusting how they plan for them. “It’s a powerful finding,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/50947/how-reverse-planning-for-goals-can-help-students-succeed-in-school","authors":["4613"],"categories":["mindshift_192"],"tags":["mindshift_20955","mindshift_20784","mindshift_1040","mindshift_20867","mindshift_20557","mindshift_20823","mindshift_21190"],"featImg":"mindshift_51174","label":"mindshift"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. 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