Mental health tools that can help middle schoolers get a better perspective
Schools embrace tools to help 'overwhelmed' students
Feeling Insecure? 6 Tips To Quiet Negative Thoughts
How Can Schools Help Kids With Anxiety?
How Schools Can Bridge Mental Health Care Gaps with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Tools
For Kids With Anxiety, Parents Learn To Let Them Face Their Fears
How Group Therapy at School Helps Kids Manage Trauma, Anxiety
Exaggerated Thoughts That Can Cause Adolescents to Misperceive Reality
For Teens Knee-Deep In Negativity, Reframing Thoughts Can Help
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Prior to joining MindShift in 2014, she was a digital news trainer at NPR.","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/4ab131bca80bafb89a073bf2348fce93?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":null,"facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"news","roles":["editor"]},{"site":"mindshift","roles":["administrator"]},{"site":"elections","roles":["administrator"]}],"headData":{"title":"Ki Sung | KQED","description":"KQED Contributor","ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/4ab131bca80bafb89a073bf2348fce93?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/4ab131bca80bafb89a073bf2348fce93?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/ksung"},"lshaffer":{"type":"authors","id":"11330","meta":{"index":"authors_1591205172","id":"11330","found":true},"name":"Leah Shaffer","firstName":"Leah","lastName":"Shaffer","slug":"lshaffer","email":"leahabshaffer@gmail.com","display_author_email":false,"staff_mastheads":[],"title":null,"bio":null,"avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/ee7b4bb631d0c035e426aba5e260f9ce?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":null,"facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"mindshift","roles":["author"]}],"headData":{"title":"Leah Shaffer | KQED","description":null,"ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/ee7b4bb631d0c035e426aba5e260f9ce?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/ee7b4bb631d0c035e426aba5e260f9ce?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/lshaffer"}},"breakingNewsReducer":{},"campaignFinanceReducer":{},"firebase":{"requesting":{},"requested":{},"timestamps":{},"data":{},"ordered":{},"auth":{"isLoaded":false,"isEmpty":true},"authError":null,"profile":{"isLoaded":false,"isEmpty":true},"listeners":{"byId":{},"allIds":[]},"isInitializing":false,"errors":[]},"navBarReducer":{"navBarId":"home","fullView":true,"showPlayer":false},"navMenuReducer":{"menus":[{"key":"menu1","items":[{"name":"News","link":"/","type":"title"},{"name":"Politics","link":"/politics"},{"name":"Science","link":"/science"},{"name":"Education","link":"/educationnews"},{"name":"Housing","link":"/housing"},{"name":"Immigration","link":"/immigration"},{"name":"Criminal Justice","link":"/criminaljustice"},{"name":"Silicon Valley","link":"/siliconvalley"},{"name":"Forum","link":"/forum"},{"name":"The California Report","link":"/californiareport"}]},{"key":"menu2","items":[{"name":"Arts & Culture","link":"/arts","type":"title"},{"name":"Critics’ Picks","link":"/thedolist"},{"name":"Cultural Commentary","link":"/artscommentary"},{"name":"Food & Drink","link":"/food"},{"name":"Bay Area Hip-Hop","link":"/bayareahiphop"},{"name":"Rebel Girls","link":"/rebelgirls"},{"name":"Arts Video","link":"/artsvideos"}]},{"key":"menu3","items":[{"name":"Podcasts","link":"/podcasts","type":"title"},{"name":"Bay Curious","link":"/podcasts/baycurious"},{"name":"Rightnowish","link":"/podcasts/rightnowish"},{"name":"The Bay","link":"/podcasts/thebay"},{"name":"On Our Watch","link":"/podcasts/onourwatch"},{"name":"Mindshift","link":"/podcasts/mindshift"},{"name":"Consider This","link":"/podcasts/considerthis"},{"name":"Political Breakdown","link":"/podcasts/politicalbreakdown"}]},{"key":"menu4","items":[{"name":"Live Radio","link":"/radio","type":"title"},{"name":"TV","link":"/tv","type":"title"},{"name":"Events","link":"/events","type":"title"},{"name":"For Educators","link":"/education","type":"title"},{"name":"Support KQED","link":"/support","type":"title"},{"name":"About","link":"/about","type":"title"},{"name":"Help Center","link":"https://kqed-helpcenter.kqed.org/s","type":"title"}]}]},"pagesReducer":{},"postsReducer":{"stream_live":{"type":"live","id":"stream_live","audioUrl":"https://streams.kqed.org/kqedradio","title":"Live Stream","excerpt":"Live Stream information currently unavailable.","link":"/radio","featImg":"","label":{"name":"KQED Live","link":"/"}},"stream_kqedNewscast":{"type":"posts","id":"stream_kqedNewscast","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/RDnews/newscast.mp3?_=1","title":"KQED Newscast","featImg":"","label":{"name":"88.5 FM","link":"/"}},"mindshift_62649":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_62649","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"62649","score":null,"sort":[1698129305000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"mental-health-tools-for-tweens-by-phyllis-fagell","title":"Mental health tools that can help middle schoolers get a better perspective","publishDate":1698129305,"format":"audio","headTitle":"Mental health tools that can help middle schoolers get a better perspective | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>Excerpted from “\u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/phyllis-l-fagell/middle-school-superpowers/9780306829758/\">MIDDLE SCHOOL SUPERPOWERS: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times by Phyllis L. Fagell\u003c/a>.” Copyright © 2023. Available from Hachette Go, an imprint of Hachette Book Group, Inc.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Challenge distorted thinking\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Tweens think they wouldn’t lie to themselves, but they do. They can catastrophize, think in all-or-nothing terms, jump to conclusions, overgeneralize, discount the positive, or blame themselves or others when something goes wrong, to name a few common thinking errors. For instance, if ten people tell a kid that they love their haircut, but one person says, “I see you got a haircut,” they might spend the rest of the day trying to decipher the one ambiguous comment. If a teacher changes a kid’s seat because they’re disruptive, the kid might conclude that the relationship is irreparably damaged. Or if they bomb a history test, they might think, “I suck at history and the teacher clearly hates me, so what’s the point?” That kind of defeatist, unproductive thinking serves only to worsen their suffering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the core of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the idea that how you think impacts how you feel and act. In other words, your thoughts determine your feelings and behavior. That’s why it’s so important to help your middle schooler learn to recognize when their thoughts are out of whack. If that kid who failed the history test adopted a more realistic stance, for instance, he might realize, “It’s not going to be fun to tell my parents that I failed, and I’m embarrassed and upset, but it’s literally a history test now. Next time, maybe I could ask the teacher for help or join a study group.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As I tell kids, being ruthlessly self-critical is like bullying yourself. When I facilitate Worrybusters groups at school, I might ask students, “If I could listen in on what you tell yourself when you’re really beating yourself up, what would I hear?” After students share their self-critical thoughts with peers, they’re often surprised but relieved that others are equally hard on themselves. They also realize they’d never talk to a friend the way they talk to themselves, and they develop more self-compassion. (As another side benefit, the kids typically bend over backward to compliment one another.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/phyllis-l-fagell/middle-school-superpowers/9780306829758/\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-62650\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-scaled.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"375\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-scaled.jpeg 1707w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-800x1200.jpeg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-1020x1530.jpeg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-160x240.jpeg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-768x1152.jpeg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-1024x1536.jpeg 1024w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-1365x2048.jpeg 1365w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px\">\u003c/a>Once you bring your child’s thoughts to the surface, teach them how to talk back to their inner critic. If they’re telling themselves, “I’m not smart enough to be in the advanced math class” or “I want to go to the party, but I’ll be too awkward to talk to anyone,” ask them questions such as “How useful is it to get caught up thinking that way? What’s the best-case scenario? What’s the evidence that the worst will happen? What’s the evidence it won’t happen? What resources or help would you need to cope with the worst-case scenario? Have you ever been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? Have you seen anyone else experience something similar and come out OK? How did they deal with it?” You also can ask them how they’d reassure a friend who felt the same way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The goal is to help them recognize when they’re thinking in extremes and then challenge the thought. If they say they’re “a total failure,” for instance, point out that “I’m a failure” and “I’m a success” are not the only two options. Someone can “succeed” in one area and “fail” at something else. Or as I told a sixth-grade girl who was disgusted with herself for being a “crybaby,” there is an upside to every perceived weakness. For one, crying is an effective way to signal that you need support. It also might embolden others to admit they need help. To reinforce the idea that merely thinking something doesn’t make it true, have them preface a self-critical comment with sentence starters such as “I’m having the thought that” or “I’m noticing I’m having the thought that.” They also can try repeating the comment until it sounds like gobbledygook and loses all meaning. After all, they’re the one ascribing meaning to the words in the first place.\u003cbr>\n\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"200\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"https://playlist.megaphone.fm/?e=KQINC1854595359&light=true\" width=\"100%\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I worked with a fifth-grade boy, Marcus, who was irritated because his classmate, Owen, was constantly poking him in the belly button and making comments about annoying things, like how he kicked a soccer ball or how high he raised his hand in class. Owen was instigating fights with most of the students in the grade, but Marcus felt personally targeted. To loosen his thinking, I asked him to come up with a few possible reasons that Owen might be acting like a jerk that had nothing to do with him. Marcus sat at the table in my office for a few minutes before jotting down the following: “1. Maybe I just don’t see Owen doing this stuff to other people. 2. Maybe he doesn’t realize it bothers me. 3. Maybe something else happened in his life that turned him into a butthead jerk.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After I read Marcus’s list out loud, he said, “You know, I actually feel kind of bad for Owen. He’s annoying to everyone, and he could end up losing all his friends.” The exercise had elicited Marcus’s compassion, which in turn helped him react with more equanimity when Owen provoked him. And much to Marcus’s surprise, that made him a less appealing target.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_62651\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 250px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-62651\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author.jpg\" alt=\"Woman with blonde hair and dark top\" width=\"250\" height=\"306\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author.jpg 2047w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-800x980.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-1020x1249.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-160x196.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-768x941.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-1254x1536.jpg 1254w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-1672x2048.jpg 1672w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-1920x2351.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Phyllis Fagell\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://phyllisfagell.com/\">Phyllis L. Fagell\u003c/a> is a licensed clinical professional counselor, a certified professional school counselor, and author of \u003ca href=\"https://phyllisfagell.com/middle-school-matters/\">Middle School Matters\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/phyllis-l-fagell/middle-school-superpowers/9780306829758/\">Middle School Superpowers\u003c/a>. She is a school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C. and provides therapy to children, teens, and families at The Chrysalis Group Inc. in Bethesda, Maryland. Phyllis also speaks and consults on issues relating to parenting, counseling, and education.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Middle schoolers can be especially prone to thinking the worst possible outcomes. Asking them questions and having them imagine certain scenarios can help ease tweens back to reality and a healthier state of mind.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1708482269,"stats":{"hasAudio":true,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":11,"wordCount":1085},"headData":{"title":"Mental health tools that can help middle schoolers get a better perspective | KQED","description":"Middle schoolers can be especially prone to thinking the worst possible outcomes. Asking them questions and having them imagine certain scenarios can help ease tweens back to reality and a healthier state of mind.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"Middle schoolers can be especially prone to thinking the worst possible outcomes. Asking them questions and having them imagine certain scenarios can help ease tweens back to reality and a healthier state of mind."},"audioUrl":"https://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/chrt.fm/track/G6C7C3/traffic.megaphone.fm/KQINC1854595359.mp3?updated=1698107149","sticky":false,"WpOldSlug":"mental-health-tools-by-phyllis-fagell","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/62649/mental-health-tools-for-tweens-by-phyllis-fagell","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Excerpted from “\u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/phyllis-l-fagell/middle-school-superpowers/9780306829758/\">MIDDLE SCHOOL SUPERPOWERS: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times by Phyllis L. Fagell\u003c/a>.” Copyright © 2023. Available from Hachette Go, an imprint of Hachette Book Group, Inc.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Challenge distorted thinking\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Tweens think they wouldn’t lie to themselves, but they do. They can catastrophize, think in all-or-nothing terms, jump to conclusions, overgeneralize, discount the positive, or blame themselves or others when something goes wrong, to name a few common thinking errors. For instance, if ten people tell a kid that they love their haircut, but one person says, “I see you got a haircut,” they might spend the rest of the day trying to decipher the one ambiguous comment. If a teacher changes a kid’s seat because they’re disruptive, the kid might conclude that the relationship is irreparably damaged. Or if they bomb a history test, they might think, “I suck at history and the teacher clearly hates me, so what’s the point?” That kind of defeatist, unproductive thinking serves only to worsen their suffering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the core of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the idea that how you think impacts how you feel and act. In other words, your thoughts determine your feelings and behavior. That’s why it’s so important to help your middle schooler learn to recognize when their thoughts are out of whack. If that kid who failed the history test adopted a more realistic stance, for instance, he might realize, “It’s not going to be fun to tell my parents that I failed, and I’m embarrassed and upset, but it’s literally a history test now. Next time, maybe I could ask the teacher for help or join a study group.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As I tell kids, being ruthlessly self-critical is like bullying yourself. When I facilitate Worrybusters groups at school, I might ask students, “If I could listen in on what you tell yourself when you’re really beating yourself up, what would I hear?” After students share their self-critical thoughts with peers, they’re often surprised but relieved that others are equally hard on themselves. They also realize they’d never talk to a friend the way they talk to themselves, and they develop more self-compassion. (As another side benefit, the kids typically bend over backward to compliment one another.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/phyllis-l-fagell/middle-school-superpowers/9780306829758/\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-62650\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-scaled.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"375\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-scaled.jpeg 1707w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-800x1200.jpeg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-1020x1530.jpeg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-160x240.jpeg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-768x1152.jpeg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-1024x1536.jpeg 1024w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Fagell_MIDDLE-SCHOOL-SUPERPOWERS_cover-1365x2048.jpeg 1365w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px\">\u003c/a>Once you bring your child’s thoughts to the surface, teach them how to talk back to their inner critic. If they’re telling themselves, “I’m not smart enough to be in the advanced math class” or “I want to go to the party, but I’ll be too awkward to talk to anyone,” ask them questions such as “How useful is it to get caught up thinking that way? What’s the best-case scenario? What’s the evidence that the worst will happen? What’s the evidence it won’t happen? What resources or help would you need to cope with the worst-case scenario? Have you ever been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? Have you seen anyone else experience something similar and come out OK? How did they deal with it?” You also can ask them how they’d reassure a friend who felt the same way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The goal is to help them recognize when they’re thinking in extremes and then challenge the thought. If they say they’re “a total failure,” for instance, point out that “I’m a failure” and “I’m a success” are not the only two options. Someone can “succeed” in one area and “fail” at something else. Or as I told a sixth-grade girl who was disgusted with herself for being a “crybaby,” there is an upside to every perceived weakness. For one, crying is an effective way to signal that you need support. It also might embolden others to admit they need help. To reinforce the idea that merely thinking something doesn’t make it true, have them preface a self-critical comment with sentence starters such as “I’m having the thought that” or “I’m noticing I’m having the thought that.” They also can try repeating the comment until it sounds like gobbledygook and loses all meaning. After all, they’re the one ascribing meaning to the words in the first place.\u003cbr>\n\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"200\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"https://playlist.megaphone.fm/?e=KQINC1854595359&light=true\" width=\"100%\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I worked with a fifth-grade boy, Marcus, who was irritated because his classmate, Owen, was constantly poking him in the belly button and making comments about annoying things, like how he kicked a soccer ball or how high he raised his hand in class. Owen was instigating fights with most of the students in the grade, but Marcus felt personally targeted. To loosen his thinking, I asked him to come up with a few possible reasons that Owen might be acting like a jerk that had nothing to do with him. Marcus sat at the table in my office for a few minutes before jotting down the following: “1. Maybe I just don’t see Owen doing this stuff to other people. 2. Maybe he doesn’t realize it bothers me. 3. Maybe something else happened in his life that turned him into a butthead jerk.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After I read Marcus’s list out loud, he said, “You know, I actually feel kind of bad for Owen. He’s annoying to everyone, and he could end up losing all his friends.” The exercise had elicited Marcus’s compassion, which in turn helped him react with more equanimity when Owen provoked him. And much to Marcus’s surprise, that made him a less appealing target.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_62651\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 250px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-62651\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author.jpg\" alt=\"Woman with blonde hair and dark top\" width=\"250\" height=\"306\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author.jpg 2047w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-800x980.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-1020x1249.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-160x196.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-768x941.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-1254x1536.jpg 1254w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-1672x2048.jpg 1672w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2023/10/Phyllis-Fagell_courtesy-of-the-author-1920x2351.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Phyllis Fagell\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://phyllisfagell.com/\">Phyllis L. Fagell\u003c/a> is a licensed clinical professional counselor, a certified professional school counselor, and author of \u003ca href=\"https://phyllisfagell.com/middle-school-matters/\">Middle School Matters\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/phyllis-l-fagell/middle-school-superpowers/9780306829758/\">Middle School Superpowers\u003c/a>. She is a school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C. and provides therapy to children, teens, and families at The Chrysalis Group Inc. in Bethesda, Maryland. Phyllis also speaks and consults on issues relating to parenting, counseling, and education.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/62649/mental-health-tools-for-tweens-by-phyllis-fagell","authors":["4596"],"categories":["mindshift_21445","mindshift_21130"],"tags":["mindshift_21250","mindshift_21137","mindshift_21473","mindshift_20865","mindshift_145","mindshift_21244","mindshift_21680"],"featImg":"mindshift_62655","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_58862":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_58862","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"58862","score":null,"sort":[1640077384000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"schools-embrace-tools-to-help-overwhelmed-students","title":"Schools embrace tools to help 'overwhelmed' students","publishDate":1640077384,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>PAW PAW, Mich. — On a windy December morning in rural southwest Michigan, an American flag flapped at half-staff outside Paw Paw Early Elementary School. A social worker with a miniature therapy dog named Trixie offered comfort at the entry doors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Children wearing face masks scampered off buses into the morning chill, some stooping to pet the shaggy pup before ambling inside.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like kids in so many cities and towns around the globe, the youngsters in Michigan's Van Buren Intermediate School District have been through a lot these past few years. A relentless pandemic that continues to disrupt classrooms, sicken friends and loved ones, and has left some district families jobless and homeless. Three student suicide attempts since in-person school resumed full-time this fall, two student suicides last year. And now, a deadly shooting just two days earlier at a school a few hours away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But with an infusion of federal COVID relief money and state funding this year plus a belief among local school officials that kids can't succeed academically if they are struggling emotionally, every child in this district's 11 schools is receiving extra help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a school year that was supposed to be a return to normal but has proven anything but, the district has launched an educational program based on a key component of modern psychology — cognitive behavior therapy. Principles of this method are embedded in the curriculum and are part of the district's full embrace of social and emotional learning.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Students in every grade are taught how thoughts, feelings and behaviors are linked and how learning how to control and reframe thoughts can lead to more positive outcomes. The program includes more intensive lessons for kids struggling with anxiety, depression or trauma, along with sessions on suicide prevention. All district employees learn about the concepts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While schools in the U.S. and elsewhere are increasingly teaching social and emotional learning skills, many use a more piecemeal approach, creating a designated class for talking about feelings, or focusing that attention only on the most troubled kids. Many lack funding and resources to adopt the kind of comprehensive approach that Paw Paw and its neighbor schools are attempting, weaving evidence-based psychology methods into the curriculum and involving all students and staff.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Effective social and emotional learning doesn't happen \"only at certain times of the day or with certain people,\" it should be reflected in all school operations and practices, said Olga Acosta Price, director of the national Center for Health and Health Care in Schools. With disruptions from the pandemic so widespread, that kind of approach is needed \"now more than ever,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_58863\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-58863\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/12/ap21352668106100-4ecfea18207b543fe0d6cee0b47ad3612a994f01-scaled-e1640076527963.jpg\" alt='Second-graders hold their heads as they talk about \"thoughts\" and how they compare with \"feelings\" and resulting \"actions.\"' width=\"1920\" height=\"1440\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Second-graders hold their heads as they talk about \"thoughts\" and how they compare with \"feelings\" and resulting \"actions,\" at Paw Paw Elementary School earlier this month, in Paw Paw, Mich. \u003ccite>(Martha Irvine/AP)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>As second-graders at Paw Paw Early Elementary sat crossed-legged on the floor on this December day, they received an introduction from their teacher and a video presentation, learning how to identify, manage and reframe \"big\" feelings like anxiety, anger and sadness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The youngsters were given an example: Feeling angry and yelling at your mom because she forgot to buy your favorite breakfast cereal. That makes you more upset and your mom feel sad. Instead, remember that you also like waffles and could ask her nicely to make some, leading you both to feel happier as you begin your day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the adjoining elementary school for older grades, in a group session for more at-risk kids, four fifth graders practiced a mindfulness exercise, slowly breathing in and out while using a forefinger to trace up and down the fingers on the other hand. Behavior specialist Eric Clark, wearing a black face mask printed with the message, \"Be Nice,\" led the session, calmly accepting a defiant girl's refusal to participate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Clark said that since school resumed, he's seen kids with lots of anxiety, thoughts of self-harm and feeling \"completely overwhelmed, they just don't want to do it anymore.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think we're starting to see some of the effects of the past few years,\" he said. \"The extra stresses of not knowing what's next and not knowing if we're going to have school because we have too many cases or not knowing if another variant has come in or not knowing if somebody has a job still.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Clark said the psychology-focused program the district has adopted, dubbed \"TRAILS\" by its University of Michigan creators, is helping everyone manage the challenges.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_58865\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-58865\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/12/ap21352668154502-bafaccce50f9f9d80e734ea1d1f002d5d6369648-scaled-e1640076699861.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1440\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Second-graders talk in small groups about their how they're feeling at Paw Paw Elementary School in Paw Paw, Mich. With an infusion of federal COVID relief money and state funding this year, every child in this district's 11 schools is receiving extra support of some kind. \u003ccite>(Martha Irvine/AP)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\"We can't control what's coming at us, but we can control how we respond to it,\" Clark said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Abby Olmstead, a dark-haired, dark-eyed 10-year-old girl with a splash of freckles across her nose, says the finger-breathing exercise calms her and that working with Clark \"has been helping me a lot.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He always makes me laugh when I have anxiety, and that's not a bad thing,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Her mom, Dawn Olmstead, said Abby struggled with online school last year and is learning how to better manage her frustrations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I definitely approve of what they're doing for social and emotional learning,\" Olmstead said. \"If that was not there, you couldn't get down to the basics for my own daughter.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More than 1,000 district employees, even bus drivers, have received training in the program.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"From the superintendent on down to every staff person, we have said you need to know what makes kids tick,\" said Corey Harbaugh, Paw Paw schools' curriculum director. \"You need to be better at that so that every adult a student comes into contact with — from the moment they get on a bus in the morning, the moment they get off in the afternoon — every adult has been trained and has been given some tools to work with kids around social, emotional skills.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some parents have questioned the approach, arguing that their kids are \"well-regulated\" and don't need it. And some mistakenly think social and emotional learning is somehow related to a method of understanding American racism called critical race theory.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Harbaugh doesn't back down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We're very direct in saying we know this is good for kids. The research is there,\" he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Studies have shown that social and emotional learning programs can improve academic performance, classroom behavior and stress management. Research also suggests TRAILS lessons for at-risk kids can reduce depression and improve coping skills.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Almost 700 U.S. schools have paid contracts to receive support and implement the program. Its website provides free online materials that are downloaded more than 2,000 times daily, and users come from all over the world, said Elizabeth Koschmann, a University of Michigan researcher who developed the program. Those downloads have skyrocketed during the pandemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She said schools contact her almost daily, asking \"how how they can possibly keep up with students who are falling apart, staff who are losing morale and experiencing tremendous burnout, and just a pervasive sense of exhaustion, despair, and hopelessness.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Evidence supporting the need for more attention to students' mental well-being is plentiful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>U.S. emergency rooms have seen a surge in kids with mental health crises including suicidal behavior, depression and eating disorders. Pediatric mental health therapists are scarce in many areas and kids often wait months for outpatient treatment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a Dec. 7 public health advisory, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy cited research showing that depression and anxiety symptoms doubled among youth worldwide during the pandemic. Expanding school-based programs is among his recommendations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The American Academy of Pediatrics is among groups that recently made similar recommendations in declaring children's faltering mental health a national emergency.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With teachers and students all struggling with the effects of the pandemic, \"more needs to be done,\" said Dr. Sara Bode, chair-elect of the academy's council on school health and a pediatrician at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. Comprehensive programs are \"critical because we cannot individually treat our way out of this crisis.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Paw Paw Middle School, an emergency drill interrupted 8th graders writing down values and behavior they'd like to see in a social contract for the class. The drill gave students and administrators time to reflect on the recent school shooting in Oxford, Michigan, allegedly by a boy just a few years older than these kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Paw Paw students were told to seek the nearest classroom rather than flee outside, in case a shooter was positioned there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will Bowater, 13, said the reminders are stressful but that \"it helps to know that there are people who are, like, collected enough to think about how to deal with stuff like that.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He said the school's focus on feelings and positivity is a good thing, even if \"sometimes it does kind of sound, a bit, like, corny.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Harbaugh acknowledged it's a work in progress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If you come to look at our school, social, emotional learning and Paw Paw, we're not serving up a gourmet meal here,\" he said. \"We're in the kitchen, there's flour everywhere, the eggs are broken and you know, we've got things in motion and the ovens are heating behind us. We're trying to figure it out. And we're going to keep at it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Schools+embrace+social+and+emotional+learning+to+help+%27overwhelmed%27+students&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"School officials believe that kids can't succeed academically if they are struggling emotionally.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1640077384,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":40,"wordCount":1641},"headData":{"title":"Schools embrace tools to help 'overwhelmed' students - MindShift","description":"School officials believe that kids can't succeed academically if they are struggling emotionally.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"58862 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=58862","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2021/12/21/schools-embrace-tools-to-help-overwhelmed-students/","disqusTitle":"Schools embrace tools to help 'overwhelmed' students","nprImageCredit":"Martha Irvine","nprByline":"Lindsey Tanner, The Associated Press","nprImageAgency":"AP","nprStoryId":"1065714681","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=1065714681&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/2021/12/20/1065714681/schools-embrace-social-and-emotional-learning-to-help-overwhelmed-students?ft=nprml&f=1065714681","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Mon, 20 Dec 2021 02:30:00 -0500","nprStoryDate":"Mon, 20 Dec 2021 02:30:19 -0500","nprLastModifiedDate":"Mon, 20 Dec 2021 02:30:19 -0500","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","path":"/mindshift/58862/schools-embrace-tools-to-help-overwhelmed-students","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>PAW PAW, Mich. — On a windy December morning in rural southwest Michigan, an American flag flapped at half-staff outside Paw Paw Early Elementary School. A social worker with a miniature therapy dog named Trixie offered comfort at the entry doors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Children wearing face masks scampered off buses into the morning chill, some stooping to pet the shaggy pup before ambling inside.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like kids in so many cities and towns around the globe, the youngsters in Michigan's Van Buren Intermediate School District have been through a lot these past few years. A relentless pandemic that continues to disrupt classrooms, sicken friends and loved ones, and has left some district families jobless and homeless. Three student suicide attempts since in-person school resumed full-time this fall, two student suicides last year. And now, a deadly shooting just two days earlier at a school a few hours away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But with an infusion of federal COVID relief money and state funding this year plus a belief among local school officials that kids can't succeed academically if they are struggling emotionally, every child in this district's 11 schools is receiving extra help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a school year that was supposed to be a return to normal but has proven anything but, the district has launched an educational program based on a key component of modern psychology — cognitive behavior therapy. Principles of this method are embedded in the curriculum and are part of the district's full embrace of social and emotional learning.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Students in every grade are taught how thoughts, feelings and behaviors are linked and how learning how to control and reframe thoughts can lead to more positive outcomes. The program includes more intensive lessons for kids struggling with anxiety, depression or trauma, along with sessions on suicide prevention. All district employees learn about the concepts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While schools in the U.S. and elsewhere are increasingly teaching social and emotional learning skills, many use a more piecemeal approach, creating a designated class for talking about feelings, or focusing that attention only on the most troubled kids. Many lack funding and resources to adopt the kind of comprehensive approach that Paw Paw and its neighbor schools are attempting, weaving evidence-based psychology methods into the curriculum and involving all students and staff.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Effective social and emotional learning doesn't happen \"only at certain times of the day or with certain people,\" it should be reflected in all school operations and practices, said Olga Acosta Price, director of the national Center for Health and Health Care in Schools. With disruptions from the pandemic so widespread, that kind of approach is needed \"now more than ever,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_58863\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-58863\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/12/ap21352668106100-4ecfea18207b543fe0d6cee0b47ad3612a994f01-scaled-e1640076527963.jpg\" alt='Second-graders hold their heads as they talk about \"thoughts\" and how they compare with \"feelings\" and resulting \"actions.\"' width=\"1920\" height=\"1440\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Second-graders hold their heads as they talk about \"thoughts\" and how they compare with \"feelings\" and resulting \"actions,\" at Paw Paw Elementary School earlier this month, in Paw Paw, Mich. \u003ccite>(Martha Irvine/AP)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>As second-graders at Paw Paw Early Elementary sat crossed-legged on the floor on this December day, they received an introduction from their teacher and a video presentation, learning how to identify, manage and reframe \"big\" feelings like anxiety, anger and sadness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The youngsters were given an example: Feeling angry and yelling at your mom because she forgot to buy your favorite breakfast cereal. That makes you more upset and your mom feel sad. Instead, remember that you also like waffles and could ask her nicely to make some, leading you both to feel happier as you begin your day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the adjoining elementary school for older grades, in a group session for more at-risk kids, four fifth graders practiced a mindfulness exercise, slowly breathing in and out while using a forefinger to trace up and down the fingers on the other hand. Behavior specialist Eric Clark, wearing a black face mask printed with the message, \"Be Nice,\" led the session, calmly accepting a defiant girl's refusal to participate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Clark said that since school resumed, he's seen kids with lots of anxiety, thoughts of self-harm and feeling \"completely overwhelmed, they just don't want to do it anymore.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think we're starting to see some of the effects of the past few years,\" he said. \"The extra stresses of not knowing what's next and not knowing if we're going to have school because we have too many cases or not knowing if another variant has come in or not knowing if somebody has a job still.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Clark said the psychology-focused program the district has adopted, dubbed \"TRAILS\" by its University of Michigan creators, is helping everyone manage the challenges.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_58865\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-58865\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2021/12/ap21352668154502-bafaccce50f9f9d80e734ea1d1f002d5d6369648-scaled-e1640076699861.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1440\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Second-graders talk in small groups about their how they're feeling at Paw Paw Elementary School in Paw Paw, Mich. With an infusion of federal COVID relief money and state funding this year, every child in this district's 11 schools is receiving extra support of some kind. \u003ccite>(Martha Irvine/AP)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\"We can't control what's coming at us, but we can control how we respond to it,\" Clark said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Abby Olmstead, a dark-haired, dark-eyed 10-year-old girl with a splash of freckles across her nose, says the finger-breathing exercise calms her and that working with Clark \"has been helping me a lot.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He always makes me laugh when I have anxiety, and that's not a bad thing,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Her mom, Dawn Olmstead, said Abby struggled with online school last year and is learning how to better manage her frustrations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I definitely approve of what they're doing for social and emotional learning,\" Olmstead said. \"If that was not there, you couldn't get down to the basics for my own daughter.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More than 1,000 district employees, even bus drivers, have received training in the program.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"From the superintendent on down to every staff person, we have said you need to know what makes kids tick,\" said Corey Harbaugh, Paw Paw schools' curriculum director. \"You need to be better at that so that every adult a student comes into contact with — from the moment they get on a bus in the morning, the moment they get off in the afternoon — every adult has been trained and has been given some tools to work with kids around social, emotional skills.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some parents have questioned the approach, arguing that their kids are \"well-regulated\" and don't need it. And some mistakenly think social and emotional learning is somehow related to a method of understanding American racism called critical race theory.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Harbaugh doesn't back down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We're very direct in saying we know this is good for kids. The research is there,\" he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Studies have shown that social and emotional learning programs can improve academic performance, classroom behavior and stress management. Research also suggests TRAILS lessons for at-risk kids can reduce depression and improve coping skills.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Almost 700 U.S. schools have paid contracts to receive support and implement the program. Its website provides free online materials that are downloaded more than 2,000 times daily, and users come from all over the world, said Elizabeth Koschmann, a University of Michigan researcher who developed the program. Those downloads have skyrocketed during the pandemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She said schools contact her almost daily, asking \"how how they can possibly keep up with students who are falling apart, staff who are losing morale and experiencing tremendous burnout, and just a pervasive sense of exhaustion, despair, and hopelessness.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Evidence supporting the need for more attention to students' mental well-being is plentiful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>U.S. emergency rooms have seen a surge in kids with mental health crises including suicidal behavior, depression and eating disorders. Pediatric mental health therapists are scarce in many areas and kids often wait months for outpatient treatment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a Dec. 7 public health advisory, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy cited research showing that depression and anxiety symptoms doubled among youth worldwide during the pandemic. Expanding school-based programs is among his recommendations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The American Academy of Pediatrics is among groups that recently made similar recommendations in declaring children's faltering mental health a national emergency.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With teachers and students all struggling with the effects of the pandemic, \"more needs to be done,\" said Dr. Sara Bode, chair-elect of the academy's council on school health and a pediatrician at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. Comprehensive programs are \"critical because we cannot individually treat our way out of this crisis.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Paw Paw Middle School, an emergency drill interrupted 8th graders writing down values and behavior they'd like to see in a social contract for the class. The drill gave students and administrators time to reflect on the recent school shooting in Oxford, Michigan, allegedly by a boy just a few years older than these kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Paw Paw students were told to seek the nearest classroom rather than flee outside, in case a shooter was positioned there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will Bowater, 13, said the reminders are stressful but that \"it helps to know that there are people who are, like, collected enough to think about how to deal with stuff like that.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He said the school's focus on feelings and positivity is a good thing, even if \"sometimes it does kind of sound, a bit, like, corny.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Harbaugh acknowledged it's a work in progress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If you come to look at our school, social, emotional learning and Paw Paw, we're not serving up a gourmet meal here,\" he said. \"We're in the kitchen, there's flour everywhere, the eggs are broken and you know, we've got things in motion and the ovens are heating behind us. We're trying to figure it out. And we're going to keep at it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Schools+embrace+social+and+emotional+learning+to+help+%27overwhelmed%27+students&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/58862/schools-embrace-tools-to-help-overwhelmed-students","authors":["byline_mindshift_58862"],"categories":["mindshift_21280"],"tags":["mindshift_20589","mindshift_21137","mindshift_21047","mindshift_20865","mindshift_943"],"featImg":"mindshift_58864","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_54521":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_54521","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"54521","score":null,"sort":[1569607769000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"feeling-insecure-6-tips-to-quiet-negative-thoughts","title":"Feeling Insecure? 6 Tips To Quiet Negative Thoughts","publishDate":1569607769,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>You have a voice inside your head. It runs constantly, providing live commentary about your life to the audience of your brain.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it's not an objective reporter. It likes to act as critic, judge and jury — especially when it comes to social situations. You know that voice, right? The one that says, \"They didn't text back. They must think I'm uncool/awkward.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Those negative thoughts can hold you back from making new friends, connecting with colleagues or sharing your brilliant ideas in meetings. Especially for shy or introverted people, it can be a real handicap and even lead to loneliness or isolation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"That voice is there for all of us — obviously in varying degrees,\" says psychologist and author \u003ca href=\"https://drandreabonior.com/\">Andrea Bonior\u003c/a>. \"With social media, especially, we look at what other people are presenting as, and we assume they are so confident because of how they appear ... and we just make ourselves feel worse.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bonior is the author of \u003cem>The Friendship Fix\u003c/em> and the forthcoming \u003ca href=\"https://drandreabonior.com/books\">Detox Your Thoughts\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The critical voice in your head can also prompt you to adopt a persona to fit into social situations, says Steven Hayes, a psychologist and professor at the University of Nevada.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's that problem-solving voice that says, 'You will belong if you are special, and you'll be cast out if you're not,' \" says Hayes, whose new book, \u003ca href=\"https://stevenchayes.com/a-liberated-mind/\">A Liberated Mind\u003c/a>, aims to help people learn to defuse these thoughts. \"You step back and become a little distant, evaluating, listening to the inner chatter — 'Am I doing this right?' \"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you can turn down the volume on that voice, he says, you might find that you can more easily share the unique gifts you have to offer others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it can help you get emotionally closer to the people around you, Hayes continues.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You've got to rein in the dictator within you,\" he says. \"You've got to put that voice on a leash.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's good for paying taxes or fixing your car — that's when you want that judgmental, problem-solving voice. Your friends are not a math problem.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For some people, these negative thoughts become debilitating and require professional attention. For the vast majority, though, simple tools can help defang that inner dictator and stop it from holding you back when you want to connect with others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Label the voice.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The voice does not define you; in fact, identify it as an independent entity and give it a name. Call it your unreliable narrator, your negative Nelly or your worry blob — \"I've seen all kinds of labels,\" says Bonior. \"What that does is it separates it from yourself.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Mine happens to be named George,\" says Hayes. \"I say, 'Thanks, George, for the advice. I've got this covered, George.' \"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Naming the voice almost turns it into someone else talking. \"It's just one little cognitive strand waving its finger at you,\" Hayes says. \"You don't have to do what the dictator says.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Set negative thoughts to music.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Distill your inner negative messages down to a phrase or two. It may help to take a few moments to observe and jot down your most recurrent thoughts. Once you've identified them, take the thoughts — \"I'm not good enough,\" \"They're never going to like me,\" etc. — and set them to music, Hayes suggests.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He recommends an app called Songify by Smule, or just sing it to the tune of \"Happy Birthday.\" Besides making you laugh, the effect will be to put those thoughts in perspective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Say those thoughts out loud in the voice of your least favorite politician. \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or say them quietly to yourself, or say them in a silly cartoon voice. \"Not to ridicule it,\" Hayes says. \"Just to remind you, it's just a voice inside you talking.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Trust that the thought will pass.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's just a thought, and it's just not that important — it's irrational after all! Don't waste energy fighting it or dwelling on it, Bonior says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We don't realize we're empowering those thoughts, getting into a tug of war with them,\" she says. \"You can choose to accept its presence in the moment and trust that it will pass.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Slow your breathing to calm your thoughts.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Negative thinking can do a number on your central nervous system, causing you to react physically. Have you ever started getting negative thoughts and suddenly felt physically bad too? Whatever your response — shaky hands, trembly voice, sweaty brow — a slow inhale and a slower exhale will help soothe the central nervous system.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And finding your composure will help you let the thoughts pass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You can't have a calm mind if your body is in hyperdrive,\" Bonior explains. \"The opposite is true too — you can't have a calm body if your mind is going in circles.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong> 6. Remember, you have a lot to give.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Along with taking slower breaths, remind yourself that you have just as much to offer to the conversation as the person you are speaking with. And you can always steer the conversation to topics that put you at ease.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The people you encounter — whether it's friends, colleagues or strangers — will like you more than you think, as Gillian Sandstrom, a psychologist and researcher at the University of Essex in the United Kingdom, \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2019/08/15/751479810/make-new-friends-and-keep-the-old\">told NPR's Life Kit\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When you talk to someone else, you're actually going to brighten their day,\" Sandstrom says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Don't let that voice in your head tell you otherwise.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Feeling+Insecure%3F+6+Tips+To+Quiet+Your+Inner+Critic&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Negative thinking can keep you from making social connections. Here's advice from psychologists about how to overcome the sneaky voice in your head that holds you back.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1569607769,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":35,"wordCount":957},"headData":{"title":"Feeling Insecure? 6 Tips To Quiet Negative Thoughts | KQED","description":"Negative thinking can keep you from making social connections. Here's advice from psychologists about how to overcome the sneaky voice in your head that holds you back.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"54521 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=54521","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2019/09/27/feeling-insecure-6-tips-to-quiet-negative-thoughts/","disqusTitle":"Feeling Insecure? 6 Tips To Quiet Negative Thoughts","nprImageCredit":"Tara Moore","nprByline":"L. Carol Ritchie","nprImageAgency":"Getty Images","nprStoryId":"764695490","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=764695490&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/09/26/764695490/feeling-insecure-6-tips-to-quiet-your-inner-critic?ft=nprml&f=764695490","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Thu, 26 Sep 2019 17:30:00 -0400","nprStoryDate":"Thu, 26 Sep 2019 14:38:46 -0400","nprLastModifiedDate":"Thu, 26 Sep 2019 17:30:38 -0400","path":"/mindshift/54521/feeling-insecure-6-tips-to-quiet-negative-thoughts","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>You have a voice inside your head. It runs constantly, providing live commentary about your life to the audience of your brain.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it's not an objective reporter. It likes to act as critic, judge and jury — especially when it comes to social situations. You know that voice, right? The one that says, \"They didn't text back. They must think I'm uncool/awkward.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Those negative thoughts can hold you back from making new friends, connecting with colleagues or sharing your brilliant ideas in meetings. Especially for shy or introverted people, it can be a real handicap and even lead to loneliness or isolation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"That voice is there for all of us — obviously in varying degrees,\" says psychologist and author \u003ca href=\"https://drandreabonior.com/\">Andrea Bonior\u003c/a>. \"With social media, especially, we look at what other people are presenting as, and we assume they are so confident because of how they appear ... and we just make ourselves feel worse.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bonior is the author of \u003cem>The Friendship Fix\u003c/em> and the forthcoming \u003ca href=\"https://drandreabonior.com/books\">Detox Your Thoughts\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The critical voice in your head can also prompt you to adopt a persona to fit into social situations, says Steven Hayes, a psychologist and professor at the University of Nevada.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's that problem-solving voice that says, 'You will belong if you are special, and you'll be cast out if you're not,' \" says Hayes, whose new book, \u003ca href=\"https://stevenchayes.com/a-liberated-mind/\">A Liberated Mind\u003c/a>, aims to help people learn to defuse these thoughts. \"You step back and become a little distant, evaluating, listening to the inner chatter — 'Am I doing this right?' \"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you can turn down the volume on that voice, he says, you might find that you can more easily share the unique gifts you have to offer others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it can help you get emotionally closer to the people around you, Hayes continues.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You've got to rein in the dictator within you,\" he says. \"You've got to put that voice on a leash.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's good for paying taxes or fixing your car — that's when you want that judgmental, problem-solving voice. Your friends are not a math problem.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For some people, these negative thoughts become debilitating and require professional attention. For the vast majority, though, simple tools can help defang that inner dictator and stop it from holding you back when you want to connect with others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Label the voice.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The voice does not define you; in fact, identify it as an independent entity and give it a name. Call it your unreliable narrator, your negative Nelly or your worry blob — \"I've seen all kinds of labels,\" says Bonior. \"What that does is it separates it from yourself.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Mine happens to be named George,\" says Hayes. \"I say, 'Thanks, George, for the advice. I've got this covered, George.' \"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Naming the voice almost turns it into someone else talking. \"It's just one little cognitive strand waving its finger at you,\" Hayes says. \"You don't have to do what the dictator says.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Set negative thoughts to music.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Distill your inner negative messages down to a phrase or two. It may help to take a few moments to observe and jot down your most recurrent thoughts. Once you've identified them, take the thoughts — \"I'm not good enough,\" \"They're never going to like me,\" etc. — and set them to music, Hayes suggests.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He recommends an app called Songify by Smule, or just sing it to the tune of \"Happy Birthday.\" Besides making you laugh, the effect will be to put those thoughts in perspective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Say those thoughts out loud in the voice of your least favorite politician. \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or say them quietly to yourself, or say them in a silly cartoon voice. \"Not to ridicule it,\" Hayes says. \"Just to remind you, it's just a voice inside you talking.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Trust that the thought will pass.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's just a thought, and it's just not that important — it's irrational after all! Don't waste energy fighting it or dwelling on it, Bonior says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We don't realize we're empowering those thoughts, getting into a tug of war with them,\" she says. \"You can choose to accept its presence in the moment and trust that it will pass.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Slow your breathing to calm your thoughts.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Negative thinking can do a number on your central nervous system, causing you to react physically. Have you ever started getting negative thoughts and suddenly felt physically bad too? Whatever your response — shaky hands, trembly voice, sweaty brow — a slow inhale and a slower exhale will help soothe the central nervous system.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And finding your composure will help you let the thoughts pass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You can't have a calm mind if your body is in hyperdrive,\" Bonior explains. \"The opposite is true too — you can't have a calm body if your mind is going in circles.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong> 6. Remember, you have a lot to give.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Along with taking slower breaths, remind yourself that you have just as much to offer to the conversation as the person you are speaking with. And you can always steer the conversation to topics that put you at ease.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The people you encounter — whether it's friends, colleagues or strangers — will like you more than you think, as Gillian Sandstrom, a psychologist and researcher at the University of Essex in the United Kingdom, \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2019/08/15/751479810/make-new-friends-and-keep-the-old\">told NPR's Life Kit\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When you talk to someone else, you're actually going to brighten their day,\" Sandstrom says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Don't let that voice in your head tell you otherwise.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Feeling+Insecure%3F+6+Tips+To+Quiet+Your+Inner+Critic&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/54521/feeling-insecure-6-tips-to-quiet-negative-thoughts","authors":["byline_mindshift_54521"],"categories":["mindshift_192"],"tags":["mindshift_21137","mindshift_20784","mindshift_1040","mindshift_20799","mindshift_20865"],"featImg":"mindshift_54522","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_54144":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_54144","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"54144","score":null,"sort":[1566284515000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety","title":"How Can Schools Help Kids With Anxiety?","publishDate":1566284515,"format":"audio","headTitle":"How Can Schools Help Kids With Anxiety? | KQED","labelTerm":{"term":21847,"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003ch4>Listen and subscribe to our podcast from your mobile device:\u003cbr>\n\u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety/id1078765985?i=1000447318381\">via Apple Podcasts \u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=63336182&autoplay=1\">via Stitcher\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://one.npr.org/i/752668336:752668338\">via NPROne\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ije5j538NaX2QY185gkOV\"> via Spotify\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/transcript-how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety\">Transcript\u003c/a>\u003c/h4>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I met Brianna Sedillo when she pitched my radio station a personal perspective on anxiety, a topic that comes up over and over as teachers and parents \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/49829/how-schools-can-help-students-manage-and-mitigate-anxiety\">try to support young people\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Everything kind of started with the anxiety and depression after the passing of my grandfather,” Brianna said. “He was kinda my safe space. And losing that was really big.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brianna missed her grandfather’s supportive presence acutely during her middle school years, which were difficult. Middle school can be a difficult time for anyone, but for Brianna it was particularly hard socially because her family moved several times. She had trouble making new friends and felt each change of school acutely. Despite all that, she was a good student; she made the honor roll all three years in middle school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But everything got worse when she started at El Cerrito High School, just outside San Francisco. Brianna’s feelings of isolation intensified, and her depression and anxiety kicked into high gear. She knew that she should be doing her homework, participating in class, and trying to be more social, but she couldn’t bring herself to do any of it. By sophomore year, Brianna was barely passing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It was just really rough for me,” Brianna said. She couldn’t stop worrying about what people thought of her, which made her so self-conscious she could barely function. “With my anxiety I tend to overthink everything. And I’m always aware of who’s looking at me and who’s talking about me, who’s judging me.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brianna remembers an endless cycle of waking up, going to school, taking work she couldn’t bring herself to do, and coming home to hide in her room and sleep. She lost a lot of weight and didn’t even enjoy playing soccer anymore, her favorite activity. She scrutinized her appearance every few minutes, and became so self-conscious she avoided answering questions she knew in class because she didn’t want people to look at her. When she got home, where she felt safe, all the anxiety she’d been bottling up all day came spilling out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s like something goes off and the anxiety kind of kicks in,” Brianna said. She would go over every tiny detail of the day. “Everything that I did that day. The way I pronounce something, the way I did something, The way I walked.” Then she would start thinking about her mom and how she should be working harder to make her mom proud, and that only made her feel worse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“And then I start to panic and then it’s like, what am I going to do? Like, I’m going to disappoint my mom. And then I can’t breathe and then I get shaky, and I end up in a ball on the floor just trying to get my breathing back on track,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside tag=’anxiety’ label=’More On Dealing With Anxiety’]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brianna is just one of many young people \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/11/magazine/why-are-more-american-teenagers-than-ever-suffering-from-severe-anxiety.html\">around the country experiencing anxiety\u003c/a>, and often the depression that comes with it. Teachers and parents all over the country are noticing\u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2018/05/10/why-kids-and-teens-may-face-far-more-anxiety-these-days/\"> an increase in mental health issues\u003c/a>, including anxiety, among students.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There isn’t much research directly surveying adolescents on their anxiety. In 2004, the \u003ca href=\"https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/any-anxiety-disorder.shtml#part_155096\">National Institute of Mental Health estimated\u003c/a> that about a third of adolescents (ages 13-18) have been or will be seriously affected by anxiety in their lifetimes. More recently, a study published in the \u003ca href=\"https://journals.lww.com/jrnldbp/Citation/2018/06000/Epidemiology_and_Impact_of_Health_Care.6.aspx\">Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics\u003c/a>, based on parent surveys for the National Survey of Children’s Health, concluded that more than one in twenty U.S. children (ages 6-17) had anxiety or depression in 2011-2012. And a \u003ca href=\"https://www.heri.ucla.edu/monographs/TheAmericanFreshman2017.pdf\">UCLA survey of college freshman\u003c/a> conducted each year, found in 2017 that close to 39 percent frequently felt “overwhelmed by all I had to do.” Parents and educators are scrambling to understand why kids seem to be more anxious and how to help them.\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>\u003cbr>\nOne School’s Attempt to Dispel the Isolation That Accompanies Anxiety\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brianna is far from the only student at El Cerrito High suffering from anxiety. In fact, counselors at the James Morehouse Project, the school’s wellness center, began noticing a few years ago that more and more students named anxiety as a chief concern. Most felt completely alone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“A lot of students [were] coming in saying, ‘people don’t get this. Other students don’t experience this. People don’t know what it’s like,’” said Rachel Krow-Boniske, a social work intern at the \u003ca href=\"http://www.jamesmorehouseproject.org/\">James Morehouse Project\u003c/a>. “And seeing that from so many different students made me want to be like, ‘Actually, this is really common! And if you all got to talk with each other and connect with each other over the experience, it might feel less alienating.’”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So Krow-Boniske and another intern, Forest Novak, started an anxiety group in the 2018-19 school year. They recommended some students they were seeing individually, and spread the word among teachers, who also recommended students who might benefit from participating.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch4>Listen and subscribe to our podcast from your mobile device:\u003cbr>\n\u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety/id1078765985?i=1000447318381\">via Apple Podcasts \u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=63336182&autoplay=1\">via Stitcher\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://one.npr.org/i/752668336:752668338\">via NPROne\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ije5j538NaX2QY185gkOV\"> via Spotify\u003c/a>\u003c/h4>\n\u003cp>The group includes students from all grades and fluctuates in size from eight to ten. It meets once a week so students can discuss their anxiety, gain confidence that they aren’t the only ones struggling, and learn coping strategies. Krow-Boniske and Novak want students to become more aware of the signs of their anxiety, what triggers it, and how they can tell themselves a different story about what’s happening.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The course is broken down into sections. The first several weeks the two counselors facilitate a process of self-discovery for students. They do writing exercises with students to help them think carefully about how their bodies feel when they’re getting anxious, what’s happening around them, and what messages their anxiety tells them about themselves. After they validate that a lot of people are having similar feelings, the curriculum moves on to dig into seven types of coping strategies: grounding, distraction, emotional release, thought challenging, self-love, and accessing the truest parts of oneself to help hold all the other coping mechanisms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I’ve been amazed by how much they know about their own anxiety,” Krow-Boniske said. “They seem so aware of what’s happening for them and just haven’t quite had the words or the space to talk about it.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Part Of a Broad Strategy to Support Students Where They’re At\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The anxiety group is just one of many student wellness services offered at the James Morehouse Project, or the JMP as everyone at El Cerrito High calls it. The center is named for a \u003ca href=\"http://www.jamesmorehouseproject.org/about-us-2/mr-morehouse\">former staff member\u003c/a> who had a gift for connecting with students. Jenn Rader, a former history teacher, started the JMP when she realized that her students were struggling with far more than academics in her classroom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Those things were taking up so much space that there was really nothing left over to receive what was being offered in the building,” Rader said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When it opened more than 20 years ago, the James Morehouse Project focused on providing health services and a little bit of counseling to students. Now, it offers an impressive array of services. It has a free, full-service medical clinic where students can get physical exams and an array of reproductive health services. It also has a dental clinic for students with MediCal, California’s Medicaid program.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It offers a youth development program aimed at cultivating students’ leadership and activism. Its staff provide one-on-one counseling services, as well as groups dedicated to almost everything a struggling student would need: support for queer-identified young people of color, an Arabic-speaking girls group, a support group for Muslim students, another support group for students who’ve suffered a catastrophic loss, and social skills groups for students who have a difficult time connecting with other young people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I think there’s been kind of a culture shift, a growing awareness and a growing commitment to ensure that children and young people arrive in a building with what they need in order to enter a classroom ready to learn,” Rader said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More than 1,500 students attend El Cerrito High. Rader says almost a third of them have a meaningful interaction with the JMP each year either through groups or counseling. That’s only possible because the JMP runs a robust clinical social work internship program.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All those extra adults make a big difference in the lives of kids. When Brianna first came to the JMP, she saw an intern counselor who she says changed her life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“She didn’t tell me what I was supposed to be, who I was supposed to be,” Brianna said. “She sat there and she listened, and she helped me just discover who I was. She helped me get deeper with myself and realizing things I hadn’t realized before. By the end of that, I was a much happier person. It was like a weight was on my shoulders, and piece by piece, she helped me take it off.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>How Parents Can Help Their Kids With Anxiety\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many students I spoke with for this story feel misunderstood by the adults around them. Their anxiety makes it difficult for them to complete assignments or be proactive, and that can look like procrastination. Brianna, for example, felt she was letting her mother down when she couldn’t bring herself to do her homework. Feeling inadequate made the anxiety and depression worse.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch4>Listen and subscribe to our podcast from your mobile device:\u003cbr>\n\u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety/id1078765985?i=1000447318381\">via Apple Podcasts \u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=63336182&autoplay=1\">via Stitcher\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://one.npr.org/i/752668336:752668338\">via NPROne\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ije5j538NaX2QY185gkOV\"> via Spotify\u003c/a>\u003c/h4>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://practicesanfrancisco.com/\">Nina Kaiser\u003c/a> is a child psychologist based in San Francisco who has been working with anxious kids for over 15 years. She says the feelings Brianna describes, as well as the misunderstandings that can arise with parents, are common. If parents want to get to the bottom of the problem, the first step is to understand how anxiety works.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Your brain is constantly scanning your environment, looking for danger,” Kaiser explained. “It’s true for all of us, every single one of us, but when you are experiencing anxiety, it’s like a smoke detector or alarm that goes off more frequently.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kaiser likes working with anxious kids because there are effective treatments. One of the most effective ways to treat anxiety is with \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53544/how-schools-can-bridge-mental-health-care-gaps-with-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-tools\">cognitive behavioral therapy\u003c/a>. She helps her patients address both their physical responses to anxiety, as well as their \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/49763/exaggerated-thoughts-that-can-cause-adolescents-to-misperceive-reality\">distorted thoughts\u003c/a> or “cognitions.” These thoughts often tend towards \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/49190/for-teens-knee-deep-in-negativity-reframing-thoughts-can-help\">catastrophizing\u003c/a> or ruminating on something that happened in the past, or could happen in the future.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“You’re teaching kids strategies around noticing those thoughts and being able to push back against them, or to shift gears instead of getting stuck in that pattern,” Kaiser said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it takes a lot of practice to step back from the panicked feelings and to look at them with a little more objective distance. She describes anxious thoughts to her clients as junk mail or spam. She directs them to look for evidence that supports the negative thoughts, or disproves them. So, if a student is anxious about failing a test, Kaiser will coach them to think about their past performance on tests, their grades overall, and whether this one test even matters that much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, she adds, “Those [anxious] thoughts tend to be really powerful and really automatic. They’re coming into your mind really quickly, really loudly, and it’s challenging to step back and notice that there are other ways to think about the situation.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kaiser says anxiety can be \u003ca href=\"http://practicesanfrancisco.com/parenting-your-anxious-child/\">tricky for parents to handle\u003c/a> because they may see it as laziness on the part of their child. But rather than judging them for not doing their homework or not wanting to go out with friends, she recommends they try to approach the situation with curiosity. When parents don’t assume they know what’s happening with their child, they can open up more space for the child to confide what’s really going on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kaiser also says that one of the hardest parts about treating anxiety is \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53468/for-kids-with-anxiety-parents-learn-to-let-them-face-their-fears\">confronting the things that make a person anxious\u003c/a>. Kids aren’t going to want to do that, and a parent’s first instinct is often to protect their child from things that cause them distress. Kaiser reminds her clients and their parents that anxiety is trying to control them and the best way to get out from under that is to push back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“So if a kid is really spiraling about something, if parents are overly reassuring, they’re also sending a message that there’s something valid about that anxiety,” Kaiser said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She recommends parents and their kids read reputable sources about anxiety ahead of time, when tensions aren’t high. Then, when a panic attack hits or a student is particularly anxious, it’s easier for parents to gently push them without making their child feel they aren’t emotionally supported. Kaiser knows this is hard for parents to do, but she says having a collaborative relationship established ahead of time will make it easier.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>It’s All About Resilience\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Brianna got help with her depression at the James Morehouse Project, she also developed coping strategies for her anxiety. She still gets panic attacks sometimes, but now she knows how to handle them. And she’s headed to community college in the fall, a new phase of life that excites her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>James Morehouse Project director Jenn Rader says it’s no surprise students are anxious in today’s world. Her students are dealing with a lot of trauma from the world around them. Their families are struggling to make ends meet in an economy that is increasingly unequal. They are worried about their futures in an insecure world. Many feel that if they aren’t perfect, they’ve failed. And they’re constantly comparing themselves to others on social media. They are terrified of school shootings, immigration raids, violence in their neighborhoods, and even not getting into a good college.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nina Kaiser says she’s seeing patients with serious anxiety at younger and younger ages. She’s even started an anxiety group, called \u003ca href=\"http://practicesanfrancisco.com/mighty-minds/\">Mighty Minds\u003c/a>, with elementary school-aged children to help kids build up the resilience they’ll need to face middle and high school stress before they get there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Why are we waiting until kids are already struggling? These are really life skills. The ability to calm yourself down, to notice when you’re feeling stressed. I’m practically 40 years old. These are still skills that I’m practicing day by day.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She hopes with these tools available to them, kids will have skills to fall back on when they run up against adversity.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch4>Listen and subscribe to our podcast from your mobile device:\u003cbr>\n\u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety/id1078765985?i=1000447318381\">via Apple Podcasts \u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=63336182&autoplay=1\">via Stitcher\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://one.npr.org/i/752668336:752668338\">via NPROne\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ije5j538NaX2QY185gkOV\"> via Spotify\u003c/a>\u003c/h4>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Anxiety is running rampant in high schools around the country, both rich and poor. It makes it hard for students to learn and to deal with life. Hear from two teens’ and learn strategies educators and parents can use to help them cope.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1700528846,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":46,"wordCount":2653},"headData":{"title":"How Can Schools Help Kids With Anxiety? | KQED","description":"Anxiety is running rampant in high schools around the country, both rich and poor. It makes it hard for students to learn and to deal with life. Hear from two teens’ and learn strategies educators and parents can use to help them cope.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"audioTrackLength":1457,"path":"/mindshift/54144/how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/storiesteachersshare/2019/08/HowCanSchoolsSupportKidsWithAnxiety.mp3","audioDuration":1456000,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003ch4>Listen and subscribe to our podcast from your mobile device:\u003cbr>\n\u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety/id1078765985?i=1000447318381\">via Apple Podcasts \u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=63336182&autoplay=1\">via Stitcher\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://one.npr.org/i/752668336:752668338\">via NPROne\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ije5j538NaX2QY185gkOV\"> via Spotify\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/transcript-how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety\">Transcript\u003c/a>\u003c/h4>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I met Brianna Sedillo when she pitched my radio station a personal perspective on anxiety, a topic that comes up over and over as teachers and parents \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/49829/how-schools-can-help-students-manage-and-mitigate-anxiety\">try to support young people\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Everything kind of started with the anxiety and depression after the passing of my grandfather,” Brianna said. “He was kinda my safe space. And losing that was really big.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brianna missed her grandfather’s supportive presence acutely during her middle school years, which were difficult. Middle school can be a difficult time for anyone, but for Brianna it was particularly hard socially because her family moved several times. She had trouble making new friends and felt each change of school acutely. Despite all that, she was a good student; she made the honor roll all three years in middle school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But everything got worse when she started at El Cerrito High School, just outside San Francisco. Brianna’s feelings of isolation intensified, and her depression and anxiety kicked into high gear. She knew that she should be doing her homework, participating in class, and trying to be more social, but she couldn’t bring herself to do any of it. By sophomore year, Brianna was barely passing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It was just really rough for me,” Brianna said. She couldn’t stop worrying about what people thought of her, which made her so self-conscious she could barely function. “With my anxiety I tend to overthink everything. And I’m always aware of who’s looking at me and who’s talking about me, who’s judging me.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brianna remembers an endless cycle of waking up, going to school, taking work she couldn’t bring herself to do, and coming home to hide in her room and sleep. She lost a lot of weight and didn’t even enjoy playing soccer anymore, her favorite activity. She scrutinized her appearance every few minutes, and became so self-conscious she avoided answering questions she knew in class because she didn’t want people to look at her. When she got home, where she felt safe, all the anxiety she’d been bottling up all day came spilling out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s like something goes off and the anxiety kind of kicks in,” Brianna said. She would go over every tiny detail of the day. “Everything that I did that day. The way I pronounce something, the way I did something, The way I walked.” Then she would start thinking about her mom and how she should be working harder to make her mom proud, and that only made her feel worse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“And then I start to panic and then it’s like, what am I going to do? Like, I’m going to disappoint my mom. And then I can’t breathe and then I get shaky, and I end up in a ball on the floor just trying to get my breathing back on track,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"tag":"’anxiety’","label":"More On Dealing With Anxiety"},"numeric":["On","Dealing","With","Anxiety’"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brianna is just one of many young people \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/11/magazine/why-are-more-american-teenagers-than-ever-suffering-from-severe-anxiety.html\">around the country experiencing anxiety\u003c/a>, and often the depression that comes with it. Teachers and parents all over the country are noticing\u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2018/05/10/why-kids-and-teens-may-face-far-more-anxiety-these-days/\"> an increase in mental health issues\u003c/a>, including anxiety, among students.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There isn’t much research directly surveying adolescents on their anxiety. In 2004, the \u003ca href=\"https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/any-anxiety-disorder.shtml#part_155096\">National Institute of Mental Health estimated\u003c/a> that about a third of adolescents (ages 13-18) have been or will be seriously affected by anxiety in their lifetimes. More recently, a study published in the \u003ca href=\"https://journals.lww.com/jrnldbp/Citation/2018/06000/Epidemiology_and_Impact_of_Health_Care.6.aspx\">Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics\u003c/a>, based on parent surveys for the National Survey of Children’s Health, concluded that more than one in twenty U.S. children (ages 6-17) had anxiety or depression in 2011-2012. And a \u003ca href=\"https://www.heri.ucla.edu/monographs/TheAmericanFreshman2017.pdf\">UCLA survey of college freshman\u003c/a> conducted each year, found in 2017 that close to 39 percent frequently felt “overwhelmed by all I had to do.” Parents and educators are scrambling to understand why kids seem to be more anxious and how to help them.\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>\u003cbr>\nOne School’s Attempt to Dispel the Isolation That Accompanies Anxiety\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brianna is far from the only student at El Cerrito High suffering from anxiety. In fact, counselors at the James Morehouse Project, the school’s wellness center, began noticing a few years ago that more and more students named anxiety as a chief concern. Most felt completely alone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“A lot of students [were] coming in saying, ‘people don’t get this. Other students don’t experience this. People don’t know what it’s like,’” said Rachel Krow-Boniske, a social work intern at the \u003ca href=\"http://www.jamesmorehouseproject.org/\">James Morehouse Project\u003c/a>. “And seeing that from so many different students made me want to be like, ‘Actually, this is really common! And if you all got to talk with each other and connect with each other over the experience, it might feel less alienating.’”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So Krow-Boniske and another intern, Forest Novak, started an anxiety group in the 2018-19 school year. They recommended some students they were seeing individually, and spread the word among teachers, who also recommended students who might benefit from participating.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch4>Listen and subscribe to our podcast from your mobile device:\u003cbr>\n\u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety/id1078765985?i=1000447318381\">via Apple Podcasts \u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=63336182&autoplay=1\">via Stitcher\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://one.npr.org/i/752668336:752668338\">via NPROne\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ije5j538NaX2QY185gkOV\"> via Spotify\u003c/a>\u003c/h4>\n\u003cp>The group includes students from all grades and fluctuates in size from eight to ten. It meets once a week so students can discuss their anxiety, gain confidence that they aren’t the only ones struggling, and learn coping strategies. Krow-Boniske and Novak want students to become more aware of the signs of their anxiety, what triggers it, and how they can tell themselves a different story about what’s happening.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The course is broken down into sections. The first several weeks the two counselors facilitate a process of self-discovery for students. They do writing exercises with students to help them think carefully about how their bodies feel when they’re getting anxious, what’s happening around them, and what messages their anxiety tells them about themselves. After they validate that a lot of people are having similar feelings, the curriculum moves on to dig into seven types of coping strategies: grounding, distraction, emotional release, thought challenging, self-love, and accessing the truest parts of oneself to help hold all the other coping mechanisms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I’ve been amazed by how much they know about their own anxiety,” Krow-Boniske said. “They seem so aware of what’s happening for them and just haven’t quite had the words or the space to talk about it.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Part Of a Broad Strategy to Support Students Where They’re At\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The anxiety group is just one of many student wellness services offered at the James Morehouse Project, or the JMP as everyone at El Cerrito High calls it. The center is named for a \u003ca href=\"http://www.jamesmorehouseproject.org/about-us-2/mr-morehouse\">former staff member\u003c/a> who had a gift for connecting with students. Jenn Rader, a former history teacher, started the JMP when she realized that her students were struggling with far more than academics in her classroom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Those things were taking up so much space that there was really nothing left over to receive what was being offered in the building,” Rader said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When it opened more than 20 years ago, the James Morehouse Project focused on providing health services and a little bit of counseling to students. Now, it offers an impressive array of services. It has a free, full-service medical clinic where students can get physical exams and an array of reproductive health services. It also has a dental clinic for students with MediCal, California’s Medicaid program.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It offers a youth development program aimed at cultivating students’ leadership and activism. Its staff provide one-on-one counseling services, as well as groups dedicated to almost everything a struggling student would need: support for queer-identified young people of color, an Arabic-speaking girls group, a support group for Muslim students, another support group for students who’ve suffered a catastrophic loss, and social skills groups for students who have a difficult time connecting with other young people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I think there’s been kind of a culture shift, a growing awareness and a growing commitment to ensure that children and young people arrive in a building with what they need in order to enter a classroom ready to learn,” Rader said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More than 1,500 students attend El Cerrito High. Rader says almost a third of them have a meaningful interaction with the JMP each year either through groups or counseling. That’s only possible because the JMP runs a robust clinical social work internship program.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All those extra adults make a big difference in the lives of kids. When Brianna first came to the JMP, she saw an intern counselor who she says changed her life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“She didn’t tell me what I was supposed to be, who I was supposed to be,” Brianna said. “She sat there and she listened, and she helped me just discover who I was. She helped me get deeper with myself and realizing things I hadn’t realized before. By the end of that, I was a much happier person. It was like a weight was on my shoulders, and piece by piece, she helped me take it off.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>How Parents Can Help Their Kids With Anxiety\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many students I spoke with for this story feel misunderstood by the adults around them. Their anxiety makes it difficult for them to complete assignments or be proactive, and that can look like procrastination. Brianna, for example, felt she was letting her mother down when she couldn’t bring herself to do her homework. Feeling inadequate made the anxiety and depression worse.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch4>Listen and subscribe to our podcast from your mobile device:\u003cbr>\n\u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety/id1078765985?i=1000447318381\">via Apple Podcasts \u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=63336182&autoplay=1\">via Stitcher\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://one.npr.org/i/752668336:752668338\">via NPROne\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ije5j538NaX2QY185gkOV\"> via Spotify\u003c/a>\u003c/h4>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://practicesanfrancisco.com/\">Nina Kaiser\u003c/a> is a child psychologist based in San Francisco who has been working with anxious kids for over 15 years. She says the feelings Brianna describes, as well as the misunderstandings that can arise with parents, are common. If parents want to get to the bottom of the problem, the first step is to understand how anxiety works.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Your brain is constantly scanning your environment, looking for danger,” Kaiser explained. “It’s true for all of us, every single one of us, but when you are experiencing anxiety, it’s like a smoke detector or alarm that goes off more frequently.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kaiser likes working with anxious kids because there are effective treatments. One of the most effective ways to treat anxiety is with \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53544/how-schools-can-bridge-mental-health-care-gaps-with-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-tools\">cognitive behavioral therapy\u003c/a>. She helps her patients address both their physical responses to anxiety, as well as their \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/49763/exaggerated-thoughts-that-can-cause-adolescents-to-misperceive-reality\">distorted thoughts\u003c/a> or “cognitions.” These thoughts often tend towards \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/49190/for-teens-knee-deep-in-negativity-reframing-thoughts-can-help\">catastrophizing\u003c/a> or ruminating on something that happened in the past, or could happen in the future.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“You’re teaching kids strategies around noticing those thoughts and being able to push back against them, or to shift gears instead of getting stuck in that pattern,” Kaiser said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it takes a lot of practice to step back from the panicked feelings and to look at them with a little more objective distance. She describes anxious thoughts to her clients as junk mail or spam. She directs them to look for evidence that supports the negative thoughts, or disproves them. So, if a student is anxious about failing a test, Kaiser will coach them to think about their past performance on tests, their grades overall, and whether this one test even matters that much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, she adds, “Those [anxious] thoughts tend to be really powerful and really automatic. They’re coming into your mind really quickly, really loudly, and it’s challenging to step back and notice that there are other ways to think about the situation.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kaiser says anxiety can be \u003ca href=\"http://practicesanfrancisco.com/parenting-your-anxious-child/\">tricky for parents to handle\u003c/a> because they may see it as laziness on the part of their child. But rather than judging them for not doing their homework or not wanting to go out with friends, she recommends they try to approach the situation with curiosity. When parents don’t assume they know what’s happening with their child, they can open up more space for the child to confide what’s really going on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kaiser also says that one of the hardest parts about treating anxiety is \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53468/for-kids-with-anxiety-parents-learn-to-let-them-face-their-fears\">confronting the things that make a person anxious\u003c/a>. Kids aren’t going to want to do that, and a parent’s first instinct is often to protect their child from things that cause them distress. Kaiser reminds her clients and their parents that anxiety is trying to control them and the best way to get out from under that is to push back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“So if a kid is really spiraling about something, if parents are overly reassuring, they’re also sending a message that there’s something valid about that anxiety,” Kaiser said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She recommends parents and their kids read reputable sources about anxiety ahead of time, when tensions aren’t high. Then, when a panic attack hits or a student is particularly anxious, it’s easier for parents to gently push them without making their child feel they aren’t emotionally supported. Kaiser knows this is hard for parents to do, but she says having a collaborative relationship established ahead of time will make it easier.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>It’s All About Resilience\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Brianna got help with her depression at the James Morehouse Project, she also developed coping strategies for her anxiety. She still gets panic attacks sometimes, but now she knows how to handle them. And she’s headed to community college in the fall, a new phase of life that excites her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>James Morehouse Project director Jenn Rader says it’s no surprise students are anxious in today’s world. Her students are dealing with a lot of trauma from the world around them. Their families are struggling to make ends meet in an economy that is increasingly unequal. They are worried about their futures in an insecure world. Many feel that if they aren’t perfect, they’ve failed. And they’re constantly comparing themselves to others on social media. They are terrified of school shootings, immigration raids, violence in their neighborhoods, and even not getting into a good college.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nina Kaiser says she’s seeing patients with serious anxiety at younger and younger ages. She’s even started an anxiety group, called \u003ca href=\"http://practicesanfrancisco.com/mighty-minds/\">Mighty Minds\u003c/a>, with elementary school-aged children to help kids build up the resilience they’ll need to face middle and high school stress before they get there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Why are we waiting until kids are already struggling? These are really life skills. The ability to calm yourself down, to notice when you’re feeling stressed. I’m practically 40 years old. These are still skills that I’m practicing day by day.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She hopes with these tools available to them, kids will have skills to fall back on when they run up against adversity.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch4>Listen and subscribe to our podcast from your mobile device:\u003cbr>\n\u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety/id1078765985?i=1000447318381\">via Apple Podcasts \u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=63336182&autoplay=1\">via Stitcher\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://one.npr.org/i/752668336:752668338\">via NPROne\u003c/a> | \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ije5j538NaX2QY185gkOV\"> via Spotify\u003c/a>\u003c/h4>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/54144/how-can-schools-help-kids-with-anxiety","authors":["234"],"programs":["mindshift_21847"],"categories":["mindshift_21130","mindshift_21848"],"tags":["mindshift_20589","mindshift_21137","mindshift_20784","mindshift_1040","mindshift_20865","mindshift_21132","mindshift_20568"],"featImg":"mindshift_54184","label":"mindshift_21847"},"mindshift_53544":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_53544","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"53544","score":null,"sort":[1557907128000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-schools-can-bridge-mental-health-care-gaps-with-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-tools","title":"How Schools Can Bridge Mental Health Care Gaps with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Tools","publishDate":1557907128,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>School counselors help guide students with academics, college applications and social matters with other students. Increasingly, however, they are also helping students deal with mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression. School counselors, along with school social workers, may be children’s only access to some form of mental health care, since it’s estimated that only 20 percent of children with mental or behavioral disorders receive help from a mental health care \u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/access.html\">provider\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The vast majority of mental health services are actually delivered in schools,\" said Sharon Hoover, co-director for the National Center for School Mental Health. \"Kids and families don’t make it consistently to community mental health settings.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A challenge for schools is to efficiently incorporate the services that do exist, said Hoover. In most schools, you already have an established mental health care workforce, but they’re understaffed with caseloads of a few hundred students and may not partner well with community care providers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, a program through the University of Michigan is trying to address that challenge by partnering school staff with community counselors in a professional development program. The Transforming Research into Action to Improve the Lives of Students (\u003ca href=\"https://trailstowellness.org/about\">TRAILS\u003c/a>) program trains K-12 counselors and social workers to teach students how to manage their thoughts, feelings and actions with cognitive behavioral therapy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CBT is a way to treat stress, anxiety and depression by identifying patterns in thinking that negatively affect emotion and behavior. One sample activity used by TRAILS is around a form of communication ubiquitous in a teen’s life: text messaging. Students are asked to imagine what they would think if a friend didn't text them back. What emotions would they feel and what actions might they take? The students are walked through the series of steps in order to identify and stop negative feedback at the thoughts stage, before that thinking can snowball into panic, depression or lashing out to others. Students would be encouraged to re-analyze their thoughts to not take the lack of communication as a personal slight or let those thoughts become negative feelings and behavior.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Greta Furlong, a social worker at Ypsilanti Community Schools in Ypsilanti, Michigan, has seen the positive impact of CBT. Furlong went through the TRAILS training last year and established a CBT group for students at Ypsilanti Community High School.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She recalled how one young man in a CBT group tended to hold in his feelings until he would explode in anger and frustration. But after learning some of the strategies in CBT, he learned how to take a step back, pause to take a moment and reflect on his negative thoughts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The CBT groups were teaching the students the connection between thoughts, feelings, behaviors and actions,” Furlong said. The student told Furlong that the CBT group “really helped him begin to manage his feelings better,” she said. Engaging in these group settings also helps people feel less alone in their struggles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9c_Bv_FBE-c\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KIDS’ GROWING MENTAL HEALTH NEEDS\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is some evidence that more children are experiencing mental health problems, or at the very least awareness of it has increased. The percentage of children ages 6 to 17 who have been diagnosed with either anxiety or depression increased from 5.4 percent in 2003 to 8.4 percent in 2011–2012, according to the \u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/data.html\">Centers for Disease Control and Prevention\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Christa Lindemer, a social worker at Chelsea High School in Chelsea, Michigan, sees the reality of students’ needs all day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She had previously learned about CBT through her social work training, but TRAILS was more focused on methods and strategies to implement the program for students, she said. She is continuing CBT groups at her school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“For some students, this is the only mental health support that they get,” said Lindemer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The students she refers to the group meet up for an hourlong session once a week where they receive skills to cope with the anxiety and/or depression they experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One caution, noted Lindemer, is that staff need to be thoughtful in making sure the student personalities will blend well together when selecting students for a CBT group.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, if a student needs intensive mental health support, the CBT group by itself may not be enough to address their needs, she added. The student would then be referred to the right provider of help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>MAKING CONNECTIONS\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Through TRAILS, school staff (usually nurses, social workers, counselors) participate in a daylong training event through the \u003ca href=\"https://www.depressioncenter.org/\">University of Michigan Depression Center\u003c/a>. More importantly, participants are then connected to a counselor who serves as a coach in establishing CBT groups in schools.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All the materials for the course are available on the \u003ca href=\"https://trailstowellness.org/resources/mindfulness\">TRAILS\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://trailstowellness.org/resources/mindfulness\">website\u003c/a>, so school staff can pick and choose different activities.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If they participate in the TRAILS training event, they are paired with a coach. TRAILS has a network of some 100 coaches throughout the state of Michigan. The coach visits the school once a week for the first semester of running a CBT group. In nine to 12 sessions, this coach helps model skills, provide feedback and demonstrate how to work with students.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Every school professional who participates is expected to run at least one CBT group with their students and coach. But afterward, they can run other groups on their own or just work with individual students as they need to, according to \u003cspan class=\"s1\">Elizabeth Koschmann, director of TRAILS\u003c/span>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Expanding TRAILS\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Schools in Michigan have taken to TRAILS since it first started as a pilot program in 2013. School staff from almost every county in the state have been trained through the program.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Koschmann says they have just started a collaboration with K-12 Detroit public schools and are meeting with a collaborator from Harvard who wants to bring the program to Boston public schools.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The project is funded through grants, but finding enough money for their fast expansion is a challenge, says Koschmann. They will need to adjust materials so that it fits with programming for K-8. They also want to develop materials so more classroom teachers can use a condensed version of the curriculum, with 20-minute lesson plans.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Koschmann’s hope is that every single student in a K-12 building could get a 20-minute lesson introducing them to the basics of CBT and mindfulness. Every class could start the day with a mindfulness exercise, “some way it can be woven into the fabric of the school.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, students need to be at a developmental level where they can understand the curriculum, and staff need to be cautious about selecting students who will respond well to the group dynamic, said Furlong.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She uses some TRAILS activities on an individual level with some students at her middle school. Those students have behavioral problems and are not at a point to be reflective in a group setting. But TRAILS activities that promote self-reflection can help the students be less reactive, she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But for students facing everyday stresses, the CBT groups can make a difference.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The kids really looked forward to coming,” said Furlong.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"The Transforming Research into Action to Improve the Lives of Students (TRAILS) program trains K-12 counselors and social workers to teach students how to manage their thoughts, feelings and actions with cognitive behavioral therapy.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1557907128,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":32,"wordCount":1214},"headData":{"title":"How Schools Can Bridge Mental Health Care Gaps with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Tools | KQED","description":"The Transforming Research into Action to Improve the Lives of Students (TRAILS) program trains K-12 counselors and social workers to teach students how to manage their thoughts, feelings and actions with cognitive behavioral therapy.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"53544 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=53544","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2019/05/15/how-schools-can-bridge-mental-health-care-gaps-with-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-tools/","disqusTitle":"How Schools Can Bridge Mental Health Care Gaps with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Tools","path":"/mindshift/53544/how-schools-can-bridge-mental-health-care-gaps-with-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-tools","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>School counselors help guide students with academics, college applications and social matters with other students. Increasingly, however, they are also helping students deal with mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression. School counselors, along with school social workers, may be children’s only access to some form of mental health care, since it’s estimated that only 20 percent of children with mental or behavioral disorders receive help from a mental health care \u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/access.html\">provider\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The vast majority of mental health services are actually delivered in schools,\" said Sharon Hoover, co-director for the National Center for School Mental Health. \"Kids and families don’t make it consistently to community mental health settings.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A challenge for schools is to efficiently incorporate the services that do exist, said Hoover. In most schools, you already have an established mental health care workforce, but they’re understaffed with caseloads of a few hundred students and may not partner well with community care providers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, a program through the University of Michigan is trying to address that challenge by partnering school staff with community counselors in a professional development program. The Transforming Research into Action to Improve the Lives of Students (\u003ca href=\"https://trailstowellness.org/about\">TRAILS\u003c/a>) program trains K-12 counselors and social workers to teach students how to manage their thoughts, feelings and actions with cognitive behavioral therapy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CBT is a way to treat stress, anxiety and depression by identifying patterns in thinking that negatively affect emotion and behavior. One sample activity used by TRAILS is around a form of communication ubiquitous in a teen’s life: text messaging. Students are asked to imagine what they would think if a friend didn't text them back. What emotions would they feel and what actions might they take? The students are walked through the series of steps in order to identify and stop negative feedback at the thoughts stage, before that thinking can snowball into panic, depression or lashing out to others. Students would be encouraged to re-analyze their thoughts to not take the lack of communication as a personal slight or let those thoughts become negative feelings and behavior.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Greta Furlong, a social worker at Ypsilanti Community Schools in Ypsilanti, Michigan, has seen the positive impact of CBT. Furlong went through the TRAILS training last year and established a CBT group for students at Ypsilanti Community High School.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She recalled how one young man in a CBT group tended to hold in his feelings until he would explode in anger and frustration. But after learning some of the strategies in CBT, he learned how to take a step back, pause to take a moment and reflect on his negative thoughts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The CBT groups were teaching the students the connection between thoughts, feelings, behaviors and actions,” Furlong said. The student told Furlong that the CBT group “really helped him begin to manage his feelings better,” she said. Engaging in these group settings also helps people feel less alone in their struggles.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/9c_Bv_FBE-c'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/9c_Bv_FBE-c'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KIDS’ GROWING MENTAL HEALTH NEEDS\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is some evidence that more children are experiencing mental health problems, or at the very least awareness of it has increased. The percentage of children ages 6 to 17 who have been diagnosed with either anxiety or depression increased from 5.4 percent in 2003 to 8.4 percent in 2011–2012, according to the \u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/data.html\">Centers for Disease Control and Prevention\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Christa Lindemer, a social worker at Chelsea High School in Chelsea, Michigan, sees the reality of students’ needs all day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She had previously learned about CBT through her social work training, but TRAILS was more focused on methods and strategies to implement the program for students, she said. She is continuing CBT groups at her school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“For some students, this is the only mental health support that they get,” said Lindemer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The students she refers to the group meet up for an hourlong session once a week where they receive skills to cope with the anxiety and/or depression they experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One caution, noted Lindemer, is that staff need to be thoughtful in making sure the student personalities will blend well together when selecting students for a CBT group.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, if a student needs intensive mental health support, the CBT group by itself may not be enough to address their needs, she added. The student would then be referred to the right provider of help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>MAKING CONNECTIONS\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Through TRAILS, school staff (usually nurses, social workers, counselors) participate in a daylong training event through the \u003ca href=\"https://www.depressioncenter.org/\">University of Michigan Depression Center\u003c/a>. More importantly, participants are then connected to a counselor who serves as a coach in establishing CBT groups in schools.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All the materials for the course are available on the \u003ca href=\"https://trailstowellness.org/resources/mindfulness\">TRAILS\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://trailstowellness.org/resources/mindfulness\">website\u003c/a>, so school staff can pick and choose different activities.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If they participate in the TRAILS training event, they are paired with a coach. TRAILS has a network of some 100 coaches throughout the state of Michigan. The coach visits the school once a week for the first semester of running a CBT group. In nine to 12 sessions, this coach helps model skills, provide feedback and demonstrate how to work with students.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Every school professional who participates is expected to run at least one CBT group with their students and coach. But afterward, they can run other groups on their own or just work with individual students as they need to, according to \u003cspan class=\"s1\">Elizabeth Koschmann, director of TRAILS\u003c/span>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Expanding TRAILS\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Schools in Michigan have taken to TRAILS since it first started as a pilot program in 2013. School staff from almost every county in the state have been trained through the program.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Koschmann says they have just started a collaboration with K-12 Detroit public schools and are meeting with a collaborator from Harvard who wants to bring the program to Boston public schools.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The project is funded through grants, but finding enough money for their fast expansion is a challenge, says Koschmann. They will need to adjust materials so that it fits with programming for K-8. They also want to develop materials so more classroom teachers can use a condensed version of the curriculum, with 20-minute lesson plans.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Koschmann’s hope is that every single student in a K-12 building could get a 20-minute lesson introducing them to the basics of CBT and mindfulness. Every class could start the day with a mindfulness exercise, “some way it can be woven into the fabric of the school.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, students need to be at a developmental level where they can understand the curriculum, and staff need to be cautious about selecting students who will respond well to the group dynamic, said Furlong.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She uses some TRAILS activities on an individual level with some students at her middle school. Those students have behavioral problems and are not at a point to be reflective in a group setting. But TRAILS activities that promote self-reflection can help the students be less reactive, she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But for students facing everyday stresses, the CBT groups can make a difference.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The kids really looked forward to coming,” said Furlong.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/53544/how-schools-can-bridge-mental-health-care-gaps-with-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-tools","authors":["11330"],"categories":["mindshift_192"],"tags":["mindshift_21137","mindshift_20784","mindshift_1040","mindshift_20865","mindshift_943"],"featImg":"mindshift_53550","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_53468":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_53468","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"53468","score":null,"sort":[1555395086000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"for-kids-with-anxiety-parents-learn-to-let-them-face-their-fears","title":"For Kids With Anxiety, Parents Learn To Let Them Face Their Fears","publishDate":1555395086,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>The first time Jessica Calise can remember her 9-year-old son Joseph's anxiety spiking was about a year ago, when he had to perform at a school concert. He said his stomach hurt and he might throw up. \"We spent the whole performance in the bathroom,\" she recalls.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After that, Joseph struggled whenever he had to do something alone, like showering or sleeping in his bedroom. He would beg his parents to sit outside the bathroom door or let him sleep in their bed. \"It's heartbreaking to see your child so upset and feel like he's going to throw up because he's nervous about something that, in my mind, is no big deal,\" Jessica says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jessica decided to enroll in an experimental program, one that was very different from other therapy for childhood anxiety that she knew about. It wasn't Joseph who would be seeing a therapist every week — it would be her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The program was part of a Yale University study that treated children's anxiety by teaching their parents new ways of responding to it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The parent's own responses are a core and integral part of childhood anxiety,\" says \u003ca href=\"https://medicine.yale.edu/childstudy/faculty/eli_lebowitz.profile\">Eli Lebowitz\u003c/a>, a psychologist at the Yale School of Medicine who developed the training.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For instance, when Joseph would get scared about sleeping alone, Jessica and her husband, Chris Calise, did what he asked and comforted him. \"In my mind, I was doing the right thing,\" she says. \"I would say, 'I'm right outside the door' or 'Come sleep in my bed.' I'd do whatever I could to make him feel not anxious or worried.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But this comforting — something psychologists call accommodation — can actually be counterproductive for children with anxiety disorders, Lebowitz says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"These accommodations lead to worse anxiety in their child, rather than less anxiety,\" he says. That's because the child is always relying on the parents, he explains, so kids never learn to deal with stressful situations on their own and never learn they have the ability to cope with these moments.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When you provide a lot of accommodation, the unspoken message is, 'You can't do this, so I'm going to help you,' \" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lebowitz wondered if it would help to train parents to change that message and to encourage their children to face anxieties rather than flee from them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Currently the established treatment for childhood anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy delivered directly to the child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When researchers have tried to involve parents in their child's therapy in the past, the \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16026220\">outcomes from studies\u003c/a> suggested that training parents in cognitive behavioral therapy didn't make much of a difference for the child's recovery. Lebowitz says that this might be because cognitive behavioral therapy asks the child to change their behavior. \"When you ask the parents to change their child's behavior, you are setting them up for a very difficult interaction,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead, Lebowitz's research explores whether training only the parents without including direct child therapy can help. He is running experiments to compare cognitive behavioral therapy for the child with parent-only training. A study of the approach appeared in the \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30851397\">Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry\u003c/a> last month.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jessica Calise received 12 weeks of Lebowitz's parent training as part of a follow-up study, the results of which are not yet published.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_53471\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-53471\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2019/04/cappy_20190409_3475_custom-4817cb8ede5c9cd1957aa233efeb7df6f9d2b27e-e1555391661321.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1279\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jessica and Chris Calise sit in their living room with their son, Joseph Calise. \u003ccite>(Christopher Capozziello for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Once a week, she drove from Norwalk, Conn., to Yale University for an hourlong session with a therapist. Like all the parents who went through Lebowitz's training program, Jessica began forming a plan with the therapist on how she and her husband would stop swooping in when Joseph became anxious.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The key to doing that, Lebowitz says, is to make children feel heard and loved, while using supportive statements to build their confidence. Parents need to \"show their child that they understand how terrible it is to feel anxious,\" he says. They need to accept that their child is \"genuinely anxious and not just being attention seeking,\" he adds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next step is to tell children that \"they can tolerate that anxiety and they don't need to be rescued from it.\" This helps give them the strength to face their fears, Lebowitz says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This approach was hard at first, says Joseph's father, Chris Calise. He's a construction equipment operator, roughly 6 feet tall, with a frame as solid as brick. \"The hardest hump for me was the way I was brought up,\" he says, rapping his fingers against the kitchen table. \"I always thought the way you do things [is to say], 'Get over it. You're fine. Suck it up.' But it was obvious what we were doing wasn't working.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, the parents committed themselves to a plan to get Joseph to feel comfortable sleeping and showering alone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It was baby steps first. I'd say, 'I'm not going to stay [outside the bathroom], but I'll come back and check on you in five minutes,' \" Jessica says. \"Then I would say, 'I know it's scary for you, but I know that you can do it. You're going to do great.' Just acknowledging the anxiety and providing the reinforcing statement.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It was slow at first, Jessica says. But each time, as she'd been trained, Jessica would praise Joseph when he managed to pass the time on his own. \"[We'd] say like, 'Wow, you're a rock star! You were nervous and scared, but you did it, and you can do it,' \" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, slowly, Joseph started to spend longer amounts of time by himself, eventually sleeping on his own all night. \"It was about halfway through when you really started noticing big differences,\" Chris recalls. \"He was becoming more confident. He just did things on his own without us having to ask or tell him.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many parents in Lebowitz's recently published study had a similar experience. Nearly 70 percent of the 64 children who were assigned to the parent-training arm of the experiment had no anxiety by the end of the study.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It is amazing. It is really exciting. These children had never met a therapist and were as likely to be cured of their anxiety disorder as the children who had 12 sessions of the best therapy available,\" Lebowitz says of the results of his recently published study.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The parent training seems to work because it lets children confront their anxieties while parents provide love and support from afar, says \u003ca href=\"https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/profile/anne-marie-albano-phd\">Anne Marie Albano\u003c/a>, a psychologist at Columbia University who did not work on the study.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You coach the child a bit but don't take over. It's helping the child stumble into their own way of coping and ride whatever wave of anxiety they're having,\" she says. \"That ultimately builds their confidence.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_53472\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-53472\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2019/04/cappy_20190409_3560_custom-35ac6e82095ebd3b95230de89bd4e847a9abde1d-e1555391685823.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1279\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Joseph brushes his teeth before bedtime. \u003ccite>(Christopher Capozziello for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>That suggests this parent training has a lot of potential to advance childhood anxiety treatment, Albano says. \"It is preliminary, but this paper is very exciting to me as someone who worked for 30 years in this field,\" she says. \"This treatment brings in the parents, finally, and focuses on the ways parents need [to stop] taking over, to break the cycle of anxiety in kids.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lebowitz's parent training is theoretically similar to traditional therapy, says \u003ca href=\"http://www.muniyakhannaphd.com/drkhanna.html\">Muniya Khanna\u003c/a>, a psychologist at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and director of the OCD & Anxiety Institute in Philadelphia, who was not involved with the work. \"But, this gets at it from a different angle,\" she says. \"It targets lifestyle change and says, yes, if you change lifestyle and family life, it can have almost the same effect as changing the child's theoretical understanding about [anxiety].\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Khanna thinks that combining this parent program with traditional therapy might yield even better results, particularly for children who haven't responded to behavioral therapy alone. \"It's encouraging for families where kids may not be developmentally or emotionally ready to take on cognitive behavioral therapy,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The study leaves many unanswered questions, Albano adds. \"This is only a short-term outcome. We need to follow up [with] the kids at six months, 12 months, even several years,\" she says. Not only does it remain to be seen if the benefits from the parent training persist as the child gets older, but more research will also need to be done to see if the same techniques will continue to work as children age into teenagers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_53469\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-53469\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2019/04/cappy_20190409_3651_custom-de8f80dd4db7ebe18e989259b1332be0616f3f61-e1555391488821.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1279\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jessica Calise checks on Joseph as he gets ready for bed. Joseph used to be afraid to sleep alone, but he has learned to be OK with it since his mother learned new parenting approaches. \u003ccite>(Christopher Capozziello for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Jessica and Chris Calise say that they even use the techniques they learned through the parent-training program with Joseph's twin sister and older brother, Isabella and Nicholas. \"It's important to validate your kids' feelings and show them that we care,\" Jessica says. \"I think this taught us to communicate better. I think it made us better parents, quite honestly.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Joseph says he no longer feels anxiety about being alone. He doesn't enjoy it, \"but I'm OK with it,\" he says. He has learned to banish the frightening thoughts that would come when he was by himself and that kept him up at night. \"If I get a nightmare, I just change the subject to something happy,\" he says. \"Then I'm fine.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New fears come up from time to time — like a recently discovered fear of heights. But with his parents' support, Joseph says, he's learning to face these too. \"I think I'll be OK,\" he says. \"I'll just try to do it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Angus Chen is a reporter based in New York City. Follow him on Twitter: \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/angRchen\">@angRchen\u003c/a>\u003cem>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=For+Kids+With+Anxiety%2C+Parents+Learn+To+Let+Them+Face+Their+Fears&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"For some kids with anxiety disorders, a new study suggests the best treatment might be teaching their parents new parenting skills.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1596148995,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":36,"wordCount":1691},"headData":{"title":"For Kids With Anxiety, Parents Learn To Let Them Face Their Fears - MindShift","description":"For some kids with anxiety disorders, a new study suggests the best treatment might be teaching their parents new parenting skills.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"53468 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=53468","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2019/04/15/for-kids-with-anxiety-parents-learn-to-let-them-face-their-fears/","disqusTitle":"For Kids With Anxiety, Parents Learn To Let Them Face Their Fears","nprByline":"Angus Chen","nprImageAgency":"Christopher Capozziello for NPR","nprStoryId":"711213752","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=711213752&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/04/15/711213752/for-kids-with-anxiety-parents-learn-to-let-them-face-their-fears?ft=nprml&f=711213752","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Mon, 15 Apr 2019 10:38:00 -0400","nprStoryDate":"Mon, 15 Apr 2019 05:00:00 -0400","nprLastModifiedDate":"Mon, 15 Apr 2019 13:36:42 -0400","nprAudio":"https://ondemand.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/me/2019/04/20190415_me_for_kids_with_anxiety_parents_learn_to_let_them_face_their_fears.mp3?orgId=1&topicId=1128&d=247&p=3&story=711213752&ft=nprml&f=711213752","nprAudioM3u":"http://api.npr.org/m3u/1713388021-b6805b.m3u?orgId=1&topicId=1128&d=247&p=3&story=711213752&ft=nprml&f=711213752","audioTrackLength":247,"path":"/mindshift/53468/for-kids-with-anxiety-parents-learn-to-let-them-face-their-fears","audioUrl":"https://ondemand.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/me/2019/04/20190415_me_for_kids_with_anxiety_parents_learn_to_let_them_face_their_fears.mp3?orgId=1&topicId=1128&d=247&p=3&story=711213752&ft=nprml&f=711213752","parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>The first time Jessica Calise can remember her 9-year-old son Joseph's anxiety spiking was about a year ago, when he had to perform at a school concert. He said his stomach hurt and he might throw up. \"We spent the whole performance in the bathroom,\" she recalls.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After that, Joseph struggled whenever he had to do something alone, like showering or sleeping in his bedroom. He would beg his parents to sit outside the bathroom door or let him sleep in their bed. \"It's heartbreaking to see your child so upset and feel like he's going to throw up because he's nervous about something that, in my mind, is no big deal,\" Jessica says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jessica decided to enroll in an experimental program, one that was very different from other therapy for childhood anxiety that she knew about. It wasn't Joseph who would be seeing a therapist every week — it would be her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The program was part of a Yale University study that treated children's anxiety by teaching their parents new ways of responding to it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The parent's own responses are a core and integral part of childhood anxiety,\" says \u003ca href=\"https://medicine.yale.edu/childstudy/faculty/eli_lebowitz.profile\">Eli Lebowitz\u003c/a>, a psychologist at the Yale School of Medicine who developed the training.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For instance, when Joseph would get scared about sleeping alone, Jessica and her husband, Chris Calise, did what he asked and comforted him. \"In my mind, I was doing the right thing,\" she says. \"I would say, 'I'm right outside the door' or 'Come sleep in my bed.' I'd do whatever I could to make him feel not anxious or worried.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But this comforting — something psychologists call accommodation — can actually be counterproductive for children with anxiety disorders, Lebowitz says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"These accommodations lead to worse anxiety in their child, rather than less anxiety,\" he says. That's because the child is always relying on the parents, he explains, so kids never learn to deal with stressful situations on their own and never learn they have the ability to cope with these moments.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When you provide a lot of accommodation, the unspoken message is, 'You can't do this, so I'm going to help you,' \" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lebowitz wondered if it would help to train parents to change that message and to encourage their children to face anxieties rather than flee from them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Currently the established treatment for childhood anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy delivered directly to the child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When researchers have tried to involve parents in their child's therapy in the past, the \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16026220\">outcomes from studies\u003c/a> suggested that training parents in cognitive behavioral therapy didn't make much of a difference for the child's recovery. Lebowitz says that this might be because cognitive behavioral therapy asks the child to change their behavior. \"When you ask the parents to change their child's behavior, you are setting them up for a very difficult interaction,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead, Lebowitz's research explores whether training only the parents without including direct child therapy can help. He is running experiments to compare cognitive behavioral therapy for the child with parent-only training. A study of the approach appeared in the \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30851397\">Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry\u003c/a> last month.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jessica Calise received 12 weeks of Lebowitz's parent training as part of a follow-up study, the results of which are not yet published.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_53471\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-53471\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2019/04/cappy_20190409_3475_custom-4817cb8ede5c9cd1957aa233efeb7df6f9d2b27e-e1555391661321.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1279\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jessica and Chris Calise sit in their living room with their son, Joseph Calise. \u003ccite>(Christopher Capozziello for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Once a week, she drove from Norwalk, Conn., to Yale University for an hourlong session with a therapist. Like all the parents who went through Lebowitz's training program, Jessica began forming a plan with the therapist on how she and her husband would stop swooping in when Joseph became anxious.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The key to doing that, Lebowitz says, is to make children feel heard and loved, while using supportive statements to build their confidence. Parents need to \"show their child that they understand how terrible it is to feel anxious,\" he says. They need to accept that their child is \"genuinely anxious and not just being attention seeking,\" he adds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next step is to tell children that \"they can tolerate that anxiety and they don't need to be rescued from it.\" This helps give them the strength to face their fears, Lebowitz says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This approach was hard at first, says Joseph's father, Chris Calise. He's a construction equipment operator, roughly 6 feet tall, with a frame as solid as brick. \"The hardest hump for me was the way I was brought up,\" he says, rapping his fingers against the kitchen table. \"I always thought the way you do things [is to say], 'Get over it. You're fine. Suck it up.' But it was obvious what we were doing wasn't working.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, the parents committed themselves to a plan to get Joseph to feel comfortable sleeping and showering alone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It was baby steps first. I'd say, 'I'm not going to stay [outside the bathroom], but I'll come back and check on you in five minutes,' \" Jessica says. \"Then I would say, 'I know it's scary for you, but I know that you can do it. You're going to do great.' Just acknowledging the anxiety and providing the reinforcing statement.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It was slow at first, Jessica says. But each time, as she'd been trained, Jessica would praise Joseph when he managed to pass the time on his own. \"[We'd] say like, 'Wow, you're a rock star! You were nervous and scared, but you did it, and you can do it,' \" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, slowly, Joseph started to spend longer amounts of time by himself, eventually sleeping on his own all night. \"It was about halfway through when you really started noticing big differences,\" Chris recalls. \"He was becoming more confident. He just did things on his own without us having to ask or tell him.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many parents in Lebowitz's recently published study had a similar experience. Nearly 70 percent of the 64 children who were assigned to the parent-training arm of the experiment had no anxiety by the end of the study.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It is amazing. It is really exciting. These children had never met a therapist and were as likely to be cured of their anxiety disorder as the children who had 12 sessions of the best therapy available,\" Lebowitz says of the results of his recently published study.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The parent training seems to work because it lets children confront their anxieties while parents provide love and support from afar, says \u003ca href=\"https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/profile/anne-marie-albano-phd\">Anne Marie Albano\u003c/a>, a psychologist at Columbia University who did not work on the study.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You coach the child a bit but don't take over. It's helping the child stumble into their own way of coping and ride whatever wave of anxiety they're having,\" she says. \"That ultimately builds their confidence.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_53472\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-53472\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2019/04/cappy_20190409_3560_custom-35ac6e82095ebd3b95230de89bd4e847a9abde1d-e1555391685823.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1279\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Joseph brushes his teeth before bedtime. \u003ccite>(Christopher Capozziello for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>That suggests this parent training has a lot of potential to advance childhood anxiety treatment, Albano says. \"It is preliminary, but this paper is very exciting to me as someone who worked for 30 years in this field,\" she says. \"This treatment brings in the parents, finally, and focuses on the ways parents need [to stop] taking over, to break the cycle of anxiety in kids.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lebowitz's parent training is theoretically similar to traditional therapy, says \u003ca href=\"http://www.muniyakhannaphd.com/drkhanna.html\">Muniya Khanna\u003c/a>, a psychologist at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and director of the OCD & Anxiety Institute in Philadelphia, who was not involved with the work. \"But, this gets at it from a different angle,\" she says. \"It targets lifestyle change and says, yes, if you change lifestyle and family life, it can have almost the same effect as changing the child's theoretical understanding about [anxiety].\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Khanna thinks that combining this parent program with traditional therapy might yield even better results, particularly for children who haven't responded to behavioral therapy alone. \"It's encouraging for families where kids may not be developmentally or emotionally ready to take on cognitive behavioral therapy,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The study leaves many unanswered questions, Albano adds. \"This is only a short-term outcome. We need to follow up [with] the kids at six months, 12 months, even several years,\" she says. Not only does it remain to be seen if the benefits from the parent training persist as the child gets older, but more research will also need to be done to see if the same techniques will continue to work as children age into teenagers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_53469\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-53469\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2019/04/cappy_20190409_3651_custom-de8f80dd4db7ebe18e989259b1332be0616f3f61-e1555391488821.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1279\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jessica Calise checks on Joseph as he gets ready for bed. Joseph used to be afraid to sleep alone, but he has learned to be OK with it since his mother learned new parenting approaches. \u003ccite>(Christopher Capozziello for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Jessica and Chris Calise say that they even use the techniques they learned through the parent-training program with Joseph's twin sister and older brother, Isabella and Nicholas. \"It's important to validate your kids' feelings and show them that we care,\" Jessica says. \"I think this taught us to communicate better. I think it made us better parents, quite honestly.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Joseph says he no longer feels anxiety about being alone. He doesn't enjoy it, \"but I'm OK with it,\" he says. He has learned to banish the frightening thoughts that would come when he was by himself and that kept him up at night. \"If I get a nightmare, I just change the subject to something happy,\" he says. \"Then I'm fine.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New fears come up from time to time — like a recently discovered fear of heights. But with his parents' support, Joseph says, he's learning to face these too. \"I think I'll be OK,\" he says. \"I'll just try to do it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Angus Chen is a reporter based in New York City. Follow him on Twitter: \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/angRchen\">@angRchen\u003c/a>\u003cem>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=For+Kids+With+Anxiety%2C+Parents+Learn+To+Let+Them+Face+Their+Fears&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/53468/for-kids-with-anxiety-parents-learn-to-let-them-face-their-fears","authors":["byline_mindshift_53468"],"categories":["mindshift_192"],"tags":["mindshift_20589","mindshift_21137","mindshift_20784","mindshift_1040","mindshift_20865","mindshift_20568"],"featImg":"mindshift_53470","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_51274":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_51274","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"51274","score":null,"sort":[1527139218000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-group-therapy-at-school-helps-kids-manage-trauma-anxiety","title":"How Group Therapy at School Helps Kids Manage Trauma, Anxiety","publishDate":1527139218,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>Sometimes 11-year-old B. comes home from school in tears. Maybe she was taunted about her weight that day, called \"ugly.\" Or her so-called friends blocked her on their phones. Some nights she is too anxious to sleep alone and climbs into her mother's bed. It's just the two of them at home, ever since her father was deported back to West Africa when she was a toddler.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>B.'s mood has improved lately, though, thanks to a new set of skills she is learning at school. (We're using only first initials to protect students' privacy.) Cresthaven Elementary School in Silver Spring, Md., is one of growing number of schools offering kids training in how to manage emotions, handle stress and improve interpersonal relationships.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Cresthaven, some fifth-graders like B. get an intensive 12 weeks of such training, a course called the Resilience Builder Program. Created by psychologist Mary Alvord, it's a form of group therapy designed to help students who are struggling with trauma or cognitive disorders — or everyday anxiety caused by things like bullying or moving schools..\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think it's so critical that kids know they have the power to make changes. While we can't control everything about our lives, we can control many facets,\" Alvord says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If students can learn this kind of resilience, the ability to adapt to emotional challenges, she says, \"I think the whole world gets better.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The idea of teaching social and emotional skills in school is more than 20 years old. Research has shown this kind of intervention is effective and has a lasting impact. One \u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/cdev.12864\">analysis published last year\u003c/a> in the journal \u003cem>Child Development\u003c/em> reviewed dozens of programs with similar approaches. Participants were 11 percent more likely to graduate from college and less likely to have mental health problems or be arrested than were students who never went through these programs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Australia, Canada and the U.K., social and emotional learning in schools is already being implemented on a large scale. Here in the U.S. it has spread, but not as quickly as some would hope. With all the mandates that schools have to keep up with, social emotional learning gets moved to the back burner.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But at Cresthaven, the school counselor, Marina Sklias, and the school principal were hungry for it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sklias says getting help for students dealing with trauma and emotional problems has been tough. In a high-poverty school such as Cresthaven, with a lot of immigrant families, she says there is only so much she can do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Oftentimes I refer students for counseling and parents request counseling, but due to financial situations or transportation issues, parents can't always follow through,\" she says. At school, she is already stretched thin meeting with students or giving classroom presentations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Alvord offered to bring the Resilience Builder Program to Cresthaven pro bono as part of a research project, Sklias selected a group of students she thought could benefit from it. It has been used especially with students dealing with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or anxiety or trauma — officially, students with \"social competence deficits.\" She met with parents, and many agreed to sign up their kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The program focuses on fifth-graders, Alvord explains, to prepare them for middle school, where pressures like dealing with sex or substance use really kick in. It's a time that can be especially hard for kids already struggling with social and emotional issues.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's a big transition, big change,\" Alvord says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For 12 weeks, small groups of Cresthaven students learned about topics like leadership skills, stress management, problem-solving, and empathy. The emotional-problem solving techniques they learned were based in cognitive behavioral therapy — adapted for kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They also drew on the whiteboard together, did role-playing and yoga, had snack time, and played lots of charades.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I was thinking we'll just sit and just do work,\" B. says. \"Instead we would play games and do things that were fun and do things that you usually don't do in regular class.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some of the time they worked on simple social skills, like making eye contact during conversation, greeting people in the morning, respecting personal space.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The kids also learned handy techniques for working with negative thoughts, like visualizing a special kind of remote control. Alvord shows a drawing with buttons that say things like \"happy place\" and \"things thankful for.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You can switch channels in your head,\" she explains. \"Instead of 'that math test was really hard,' if we think, 'I got through it and I'm proud myself.' \"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Alvord developed the Resilience Builder Program in her private practice decades ago, and now she is working with \u003ca href=\"http://psychology.cua.edu/labs/richlab/\">researchers including Dr. Brendan Rich at Catholic University\u003c/a> to measure how well the program works in schools with underserved students. Early pilot studies on the program show it is effective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For kids with ADHD, \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/300706726_Developing_Social_Competence_Through_a_Resilience_Model\">parents and teachers reported\u003c/a> that after the program, students were more social, were able to handle their emotions, and weren't as hyperactive as before. Parents also reported that kids with anxiety were able to manage their emotions and seemed less depressed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The new research compares students who have done the program with those who haven't. Researchers have collected data from 119 kids at four schools in the Washington, D.C., area, including those at Cresthaven. They just had a paper accepted by the \u003cem>International Journal of Group Psychotherapy,\u003c/em> which found that students who went through the program reported better emotional control than students who hadn't. They plan to publish more in the coming months, and Alvord is excited by some early results that show the program is helping kids academically.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It all goes together,\" she says. \"If you're not struggling with relationships or teasing and bullying, you have more head space to give to study, and you're also just more positive.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After each Resilience Builder Program wraps up, Alvord organizes a showcase for the students and their parents. The kids get to share what they've learned and get certificates of achievement, and their parents cheer them on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a warm spring evening, the handful of Cresthaven fifth-graders who had just finished the program gathered in the school library for their showcase.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Most of the families are immigrants from all over the globe, East Africa, Latin America. Alvord is first generation herself and grew up speaking Russian and Armenian. She tells these families that they already know about how important and hard it can be to adapt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You have had to make many changes and learn languages and customs — that's resilience,\" she says. There are nods of agreement in the room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The students take turns coming up to the front to get their certificates and share their favorite takeaways.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When it's her turn, B. — the 11-year-old who was being bullied — says that she learned how to solve \"friendship problems.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It helped me not get as mad at my friends as I used to,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>B.'s mother is thrilled with the changes she has seen in her daughter. Her eyes well up as she talks about how proud she is. B. seems less nervous; she doesn't come home in tears as often.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>B. is pleased, too. She especially likes the relaxation skills they learned — things like breathing in and then slowly out again, and clenching fists and then letting go. She can take her new set of problem-solving tools with her to middle school next year and beyond.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Your Turn: Share Your Parenting Story\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Parents make mistakes. It comes with the job. What do you wish you had known about raising kids before becoming a parent?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/05/08/609470215/your-turn-whats-the-parenting-advice-you-wish-you-had\">\u003cstrong>Read this post\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/05/08/609470215/your-turn-whats-the-parenting-advice-you-wish-you-had\">\u003cstrong> for inspiration\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, \u003cem>then share your story on Instagram or Twitter using the hashtag #HowToRaiseAHuman. We are collecting stories until June 30. We may feature your post on NPR.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=For+Troubled+Kids%2C+Some+Schools+Take+Time+Out+For+Group+Therapy&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"A growing number of schools are offering training for emotional and social skills that can benefit kids in school and throughout their life.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1527139218,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":37,"wordCount":1344},"headData":{"title":"How Group Therapy at School Helps Kids Manage Trauma, Anxiety | KQED","description":"A growing number of schools are offering training for emotional and social skills that can benefit kids in school and throughout their life.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"51274 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=51274","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2018/05/23/how-group-therapy-at-school-helps-kids-manage-trauma-anxiety/","disqusTitle":"How Group Therapy at School Helps Kids Manage Trauma, Anxiety","nprImageCredit":"Nathalie Dieterle","nprByline":"Selena Simmons-Duffin","nprImageAgency":"for NPR","nprStoryId":"613465023","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=613465023&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/05/23/613465023/for-troubled-kids-some-schools-take-time-out-for-group-therapy?ft=nprml&f=613465023","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Wed, 23 May 2018 23:11:00 -0400","nprStoryDate":"Wed, 23 May 2018 15:21:00 -0400","nprLastModifiedDate":"Wed, 23 May 2018 23:11:33 -0400","nprAudio":"https://ondemand.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/atc/2018/05/20180523_atc_for_troubled_kids_some_schools_take_time_out_for_group_therapy.mp3?orgId=1&topicId=1128&aggIds=607483398&d=341&p=2&story=613465023&ft=nprml&f=613465023","nprAudioM3u":"http://api.npr.org/m3u/1613826245-8e8056.m3u?orgId=1&topicId=1128&aggIds=607483398&d=341&p=2&story=613465023&ft=nprml&f=613465023","path":"/mindshift/51274/how-group-therapy-at-school-helps-kids-manage-trauma-anxiety","audioUrl":"https://ondemand.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/atc/2018/05/20180523_atc_for_troubled_kids_some_schools_take_time_out_for_group_therapy.mp3?orgId=1&topicId=1128&aggIds=607483398&d=341&p=2&story=613465023&ft=nprml&f=613465023","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Sometimes 11-year-old B. comes home from school in tears. Maybe she was taunted about her weight that day, called \"ugly.\" Or her so-called friends blocked her on their phones. Some nights she is too anxious to sleep alone and climbs into her mother's bed. It's just the two of them at home, ever since her father was deported back to West Africa when she was a toddler.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>B.'s mood has improved lately, though, thanks to a new set of skills she is learning at school. (We're using only first initials to protect students' privacy.) Cresthaven Elementary School in Silver Spring, Md., is one of growing number of schools offering kids training in how to manage emotions, handle stress and improve interpersonal relationships.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Cresthaven, some fifth-graders like B. get an intensive 12 weeks of such training, a course called the Resilience Builder Program. Created by psychologist Mary Alvord, it's a form of group therapy designed to help students who are struggling with trauma or cognitive disorders — or everyday anxiety caused by things like bullying or moving schools..\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think it's so critical that kids know they have the power to make changes. While we can't control everything about our lives, we can control many facets,\" Alvord says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If students can learn this kind of resilience, the ability to adapt to emotional challenges, she says, \"I think the whole world gets better.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The idea of teaching social and emotional skills in school is more than 20 years old. Research has shown this kind of intervention is effective and has a lasting impact. One \u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/cdev.12864\">analysis published last year\u003c/a> in the journal \u003cem>Child Development\u003c/em> reviewed dozens of programs with similar approaches. Participants were 11 percent more likely to graduate from college and less likely to have mental health problems or be arrested than were students who never went through these programs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Australia, Canada and the U.K., social and emotional learning in schools is already being implemented on a large scale. Here in the U.S. it has spread, but not as quickly as some would hope. With all the mandates that schools have to keep up with, social emotional learning gets moved to the back burner.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But at Cresthaven, the school counselor, Marina Sklias, and the school principal were hungry for it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sklias says getting help for students dealing with trauma and emotional problems has been tough. In a high-poverty school such as Cresthaven, with a lot of immigrant families, she says there is only so much she can do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Oftentimes I refer students for counseling and parents request counseling, but due to financial situations or transportation issues, parents can't always follow through,\" she says. At school, she is already stretched thin meeting with students or giving classroom presentations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Alvord offered to bring the Resilience Builder Program to Cresthaven pro bono as part of a research project, Sklias selected a group of students she thought could benefit from it. It has been used especially with students dealing with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or anxiety or trauma — officially, students with \"social competence deficits.\" She met with parents, and many agreed to sign up their kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The program focuses on fifth-graders, Alvord explains, to prepare them for middle school, where pressures like dealing with sex or substance use really kick in. It's a time that can be especially hard for kids already struggling with social and emotional issues.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's a big transition, big change,\" Alvord says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For 12 weeks, small groups of Cresthaven students learned about topics like leadership skills, stress management, problem-solving, and empathy. The emotional-problem solving techniques they learned were based in cognitive behavioral therapy — adapted for kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They also drew on the whiteboard together, did role-playing and yoga, had snack time, and played lots of charades.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I was thinking we'll just sit and just do work,\" B. says. \"Instead we would play games and do things that were fun and do things that you usually don't do in regular class.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some of the time they worked on simple social skills, like making eye contact during conversation, greeting people in the morning, respecting personal space.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The kids also learned handy techniques for working with negative thoughts, like visualizing a special kind of remote control. Alvord shows a drawing with buttons that say things like \"happy place\" and \"things thankful for.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You can switch channels in your head,\" she explains. \"Instead of 'that math test was really hard,' if we think, 'I got through it and I'm proud myself.' \"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Alvord developed the Resilience Builder Program in her private practice decades ago, and now she is working with \u003ca href=\"http://psychology.cua.edu/labs/richlab/\">researchers including Dr. Brendan Rich at Catholic University\u003c/a> to measure how well the program works in schools with underserved students. Early pilot studies on the program show it is effective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For kids with ADHD, \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/300706726_Developing_Social_Competence_Through_a_Resilience_Model\">parents and teachers reported\u003c/a> that after the program, students were more social, were able to handle their emotions, and weren't as hyperactive as before. Parents also reported that kids with anxiety were able to manage their emotions and seemed less depressed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The new research compares students who have done the program with those who haven't. Researchers have collected data from 119 kids at four schools in the Washington, D.C., area, including those at Cresthaven. They just had a paper accepted by the \u003cem>International Journal of Group Psychotherapy,\u003c/em> which found that students who went through the program reported better emotional control than students who hadn't. They plan to publish more in the coming months, and Alvord is excited by some early results that show the program is helping kids academically.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It all goes together,\" she says. \"If you're not struggling with relationships or teasing and bullying, you have more head space to give to study, and you're also just more positive.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After each Resilience Builder Program wraps up, Alvord organizes a showcase for the students and their parents. The kids get to share what they've learned and get certificates of achievement, and their parents cheer them on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a warm spring evening, the handful of Cresthaven fifth-graders who had just finished the program gathered in the school library for their showcase.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Most of the families are immigrants from all over the globe, East Africa, Latin America. Alvord is first generation herself and grew up speaking Russian and Armenian. She tells these families that they already know about how important and hard it can be to adapt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You have had to make many changes and learn languages and customs — that's resilience,\" she says. There are nods of agreement in the room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The students take turns coming up to the front to get their certificates and share their favorite takeaways.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When it's her turn, B. — the 11-year-old who was being bullied — says that she learned how to solve \"friendship problems.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It helped me not get as mad at my friends as I used to,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>B.'s mother is thrilled with the changes she has seen in her daughter. Her eyes well up as she talks about how proud she is. B. seems less nervous; she doesn't come home in tears as often.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>B. is pleased, too. She especially likes the relaxation skills they learned — things like breathing in and then slowly out again, and clenching fists and then letting go. She can take her new set of problem-solving tools with her to middle school next year and beyond.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Your Turn: Share Your Parenting Story\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Parents make mistakes. It comes with the job. What do you wish you had known about raising kids before becoming a parent?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/05/08/609470215/your-turn-whats-the-parenting-advice-you-wish-you-had\">\u003cstrong>Read this post\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/05/08/609470215/your-turn-whats-the-parenting-advice-you-wish-you-had\">\u003cstrong> for inspiration\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, \u003cem>then share your story on Instagram or Twitter using the hashtag #HowToRaiseAHuman. We are collecting stories until June 30. We may feature your post on NPR.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=For+Troubled+Kids%2C+Some+Schools+Take+Time+Out+For+Group+Therapy&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/51274/how-group-therapy-at-school-helps-kids-manage-trauma-anxiety","authors":["byline_mindshift_51274"],"categories":["mindshift_192"],"tags":["mindshift_20862","mindshift_20589","mindshift_21137","mindshift_20784","mindshift_1040","mindshift_20865","mindshift_21038","mindshift_943","mindshift_21105"],"featImg":"mindshift_51275","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_49763":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_49763","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"49763","score":null,"sort":[1512652838000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"exaggerated-thoughts-that-can-cause-adolescents-to-misperceive-reality","title":"Exaggerated Thoughts That Can Cause Adolescents to Misperceive Reality","publishDate":1512652838,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>Excerpted from \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Born-Be-Wild-Teens-Risks/dp/0143129791/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1511216482&sr=1-1&keywords=born+to+be+wild&dpID=51Lp1M20KBL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch\">BORN TO BE WILD: Why Teens Take Risks, and How We Can Help Keep Them Safe\u003c/a> by Jess P. Shatkin with the permission of TarcherPerigee, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright© 2017 by Jess P. Shatkin\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>By Jess P. Shatkin\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the late 1950s, University of Pennsylvania psychiatrist Aaron Beck, MD, studied the effectiveness of psychoanalysis for the treatment of depression. Beck committed to the theoretical foundations of Freud’s “talking cure.” To his great surprise and disappointment, however, the experiments failed to validate the treatment. By the early ’60s, Beck had penned two important articles on “thinking and depression,” which ultimately led to the development of cognitive behavioral therapy (currently the premier evidence‐based psychotherapeutic treatment for anxiety and depression in both adolescents and adults) and the design of the cognitive triangle, as shown in the diagram below.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-49765\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"951\" height=\"660\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild.png 951w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild-160x111.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild-800x555.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild-768x533.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild-240x167.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild-375x260.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild-520x361.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 951px) 100vw, 951px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the center of the cognitive triangle sits an event. Something happens to start this process in motion and trigger the complex interplay between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. In the case of a typical adolescent, imagine that event to be a male high school student, whom we will call Alan, walking down the hallway and seeing a girl he likes, whom we will call Emily. As they approach one another, Alan tries to catch Emily’s eye, but she doesn’t appear to notice him. As they get closer, his gaze remains fixed on her, but she simply doesn’t see him. He even says “hello,” but she doesn’t respond. After they pass, Alan begins to wonder—“Maybe Emily doesn’t like me.” “Did I say something to offend her?” “I knew I shouldn’t have worn this shirt today!” These negative thoughts, or cognitions, then lead to various behaviors and feelings, as depicted by the double‐headed arrows on the figure. Alan may subsequently decide to send Emily a friendly text in the hopes that she will respond, or perhaps he will circle around the next hallway and try to pass her again, hoping to catch her eye this time around.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Alternatively, Alan may go to the cafeteria and eat a doughnut to soothe the pain of Emily not having noticed him. In accord with the three points of the cognitive triangle, Alan may also have some \u003cem>feelings\u003c/em> about this interaction. He may feel depressed, anxious, irritable, or angry about what has just happened. The simple act of passing Emily in the hallway has all sorts of implications for Alan’s thoughts, behaviors, and feelings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Born-Be-Wild-Teens-Risks/dp/0143129791/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1511216482&sr=1-1&keywords=born+to+be+wild&dpID=51Lp1M20KBL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch\">\u003cimg class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-49769 alignright\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-160x240.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"240\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-160x240.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-800x1200.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-768x1152.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-1020x1530.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-1180x1770.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-960x1440.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-240x360.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-375x563.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-520x780.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\">\u003c/a>It’s possible, of course, that Emily simply didn’t see Alan. Maybe she was distracted by bad news from another friend, worried about an upcoming class assignment, bothered by a headache, or pleasantly preoccupied by something wonderful. Since most adolescents act decently to their peers most of the time, the chances are pretty slight that Emily intentionally snubbed Alan, although that’s always a possibility. Given adolescents’ strong evolutionary need for connection to peers, however, Alan is very likely to interpret Emily’s lack of acknowledgment in the hallway as a personal affront. This is the cognitive distortion, or thinking error.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cognitive distortions are exaggerated and unreasonable thoughts that cause us to misperceive reality and then subsequently feel bad. Adults too, of course, are vulnerable to cognitive distortions and will sometimes feel bad because they think that someone has ignored them. But adults, by virtue of their age and experience, have had more practice in these matters and usually, though not always, have an easier time letting go of small potential insults. As a psychiatrist, I’ve heard parents tell their kids countless times, “Don’t sweat it! Who cares what they think?” or simply, “Please, just let it go.” Parents know that their kids sometimes misinterpret the world around them and need help identifying their thinking errors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More than a dozen common cognitive distortions have been described to which we all, at least occasionally, fall prey. Here are a few classic examples:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Filtering—magnifying the negative details from a situation while filtering out all of the positive aspects\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>All or nothing thinking— viewing everything as “good” or “bad” in an overly dogmatic fashion; believing that you must be perfect or a failure, allowing for no middle ground\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Overgeneralization—coming to a conclusion about your capabilities based upon a single incident or piece of evidence; when something bad happens once, the expectation is that it will happen over and over again\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Mind reading—presuming to understand how others feel and to know why they act as they do; particularly believing that you know how others feel about you\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Catastrophizing—expecting disaster from every interaction or situation\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Personalization—thinking that everything people do or say is a reaction to you; constantly comparing yourself to others in an effort to determine who is more intelligent, better looking, and so forth\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Blaming—holding others responsible for the pain you feel, or blaming yourself for every problem\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Shoulds—having a list of restrictive rules about how you and others should act; becoming angered when others break these rules or feeling guilty if you violate them\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Which cognitive distortions do you think might have gotten the best of Alan as he passed Emily in the hallway? I’d say that he’s personalizing and possibly also overgeneralizing. Which cognitive distortions sometimes affect you and your kids?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once adolescents begin to think abstractly, they are increasingly vulnerable to the impact of cognitive distortions, and that can lead to a lot of discomfort. They can imagine what their peers might be thinking, and they often imagine the worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unless they get a lot of practice identifying cognitive distortions and learn to challenge these thoughts in a very conscious way (as one would in psychotherapy), adolescents will frequently feel the confusion, irritability, anger, and sadness that distorted thinking can cause. And what do you suppose an adolescent might do to avoid or soothe the emotional pain of cognitive distortions? Perhaps, as in the case of Alan, he will simply write a text or eat a doughnut. But sometimes, to avoid such pain, our kids will go to much greater lengths and put themselves at significant risk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_49770\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 160px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-49770\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Jess-Shatkin-Head-Shot-1_credit-Jeremy-Folmer-e1511822535112-160x180.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"180\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Jess-Shatkin-Head-Shot-1_credit-Jeremy-Folmer-e1511822535112-160x180.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Jess-Shatkin-Head-Shot-1_credit-Jeremy-Folmer-e1511822535112-240x270.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Jess-Shatkin-Head-Shot-1_credit-Jeremy-Folmer-e1511822535112.jpg 250w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jess Shatkin \u003ccite>(Jeremy Folmer)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Child and adolescent psychiatrist \u003ca href=\"http://www.drjesspshatkin.com/\">Jess P. Shatkin\u003c/a>, M.D., M.P.H., is the author of Born to Be \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Born-Be-Wild-Teens-Risks/dp/0143129791/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1511216482&sr=1-1&keywords=born+to+be+wild&dpID=51Lp1M20KBL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch\">Wild: Why Teens Take Risks, and How we Can Help Keep them Safe\u003c/a>. He serves as Vice Chair for Education at the Child Study Center and Professor of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry and Pediatrics at New York University School of Medicine. Dr. Shatkin is the host of \"About Our Kids,\" a two-hour call-in radio show broadcast live on SiriusXM's Doctor Radio. He lives in New York City with his wife and two teenage children.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Better understanding the complex interplay between thoughts, feelings and behaviors can help adolescents see the possible realities of a situation. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1512652838,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":15,"wordCount":1184},"headData":{"title":"Exaggerated Thoughts That Can Cause Adolescents to Misperceive Reality | KQED","description":"Better understanding the complex interplay between thoughts, feelings and behaviors can help adolescents see the possible realities of a situation. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"49763 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=49763","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2017/12/07/exaggerated-thoughts-that-can-cause-adolescents-to-misperceive-reality/","disqusTitle":"Exaggerated Thoughts That Can Cause Adolescents to Misperceive Reality","path":"/mindshift/49763/exaggerated-thoughts-that-can-cause-adolescents-to-misperceive-reality","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Excerpted from \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Born-Be-Wild-Teens-Risks/dp/0143129791/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1511216482&sr=1-1&keywords=born+to+be+wild&dpID=51Lp1M20KBL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch\">BORN TO BE WILD: Why Teens Take Risks, and How We Can Help Keep Them Safe\u003c/a> by Jess P. Shatkin with the permission of TarcherPerigee, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright© 2017 by Jess P. Shatkin\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>By Jess P. Shatkin\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the late 1950s, University of Pennsylvania psychiatrist Aaron Beck, MD, studied the effectiveness of psychoanalysis for the treatment of depression. Beck committed to the theoretical foundations of Freud’s “talking cure.” To his great surprise and disappointment, however, the experiments failed to validate the treatment. By the early ’60s, Beck had penned two important articles on “thinking and depression,” which ultimately led to the development of cognitive behavioral therapy (currently the premier evidence‐based psychotherapeutic treatment for anxiety and depression in both adolescents and adults) and the design of the cognitive triangle, as shown in the diagram below.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-49765\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"951\" height=\"660\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild.png 951w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild-160x111.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild-800x555.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild-768x533.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild-240x167.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild-375x260.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Born-to-be-Wild-520x361.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 951px) 100vw, 951px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the center of the cognitive triangle sits an event. Something happens to start this process in motion and trigger the complex interplay between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. In the case of a typical adolescent, imagine that event to be a male high school student, whom we will call Alan, walking down the hallway and seeing a girl he likes, whom we will call Emily. As they approach one another, Alan tries to catch Emily’s eye, but she doesn’t appear to notice him. As they get closer, his gaze remains fixed on her, but she simply doesn’t see him. He even says “hello,” but she doesn’t respond. After they pass, Alan begins to wonder—“Maybe Emily doesn’t like me.” “Did I say something to offend her?” “I knew I shouldn’t have worn this shirt today!” These negative thoughts, or cognitions, then lead to various behaviors and feelings, as depicted by the double‐headed arrows on the figure. Alan may subsequently decide to send Emily a friendly text in the hopes that she will respond, or perhaps he will circle around the next hallway and try to pass her again, hoping to catch her eye this time around.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Alternatively, Alan may go to the cafeteria and eat a doughnut to soothe the pain of Emily not having noticed him. In accord with the three points of the cognitive triangle, Alan may also have some \u003cem>feelings\u003c/em> about this interaction. He may feel depressed, anxious, irritable, or angry about what has just happened. The simple act of passing Emily in the hallway has all sorts of implications for Alan’s thoughts, behaviors, and feelings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Born-Be-Wild-Teens-Risks/dp/0143129791/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1511216482&sr=1-1&keywords=born+to+be+wild&dpID=51Lp1M20KBL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch\">\u003cimg class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-49769 alignright\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-160x240.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"240\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-160x240.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-800x1200.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-768x1152.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-1020x1530.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-1180x1770.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-960x1440.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-240x360.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-375x563.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/BorntobeWildJacketArt-520x780.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\">\u003c/a>It’s possible, of course, that Emily simply didn’t see Alan. Maybe she was distracted by bad news from another friend, worried about an upcoming class assignment, bothered by a headache, or pleasantly preoccupied by something wonderful. Since most adolescents act decently to their peers most of the time, the chances are pretty slight that Emily intentionally snubbed Alan, although that’s always a possibility. Given adolescents’ strong evolutionary need for connection to peers, however, Alan is very likely to interpret Emily’s lack of acknowledgment in the hallway as a personal affront. This is the cognitive distortion, or thinking error.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cognitive distortions are exaggerated and unreasonable thoughts that cause us to misperceive reality and then subsequently feel bad. Adults too, of course, are vulnerable to cognitive distortions and will sometimes feel bad because they think that someone has ignored them. But adults, by virtue of their age and experience, have had more practice in these matters and usually, though not always, have an easier time letting go of small potential insults. As a psychiatrist, I’ve heard parents tell their kids countless times, “Don’t sweat it! Who cares what they think?” or simply, “Please, just let it go.” Parents know that their kids sometimes misinterpret the world around them and need help identifying their thinking errors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More than a dozen common cognitive distortions have been described to which we all, at least occasionally, fall prey. Here are a few classic examples:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Filtering—magnifying the negative details from a situation while filtering out all of the positive aspects\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>All or nothing thinking— viewing everything as “good” or “bad” in an overly dogmatic fashion; believing that you must be perfect or a failure, allowing for no middle ground\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Overgeneralization—coming to a conclusion about your capabilities based upon a single incident or piece of evidence; when something bad happens once, the expectation is that it will happen over and over again\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Mind reading—presuming to understand how others feel and to know why they act as they do; particularly believing that you know how others feel about you\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Catastrophizing—expecting disaster from every interaction or situation\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Personalization—thinking that everything people do or say is a reaction to you; constantly comparing yourself to others in an effort to determine who is more intelligent, better looking, and so forth\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Blaming—holding others responsible for the pain you feel, or blaming yourself for every problem\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Shoulds—having a list of restrictive rules about how you and others should act; becoming angered when others break these rules or feeling guilty if you violate them\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Which cognitive distortions do you think might have gotten the best of Alan as he passed Emily in the hallway? I’d say that he’s personalizing and possibly also overgeneralizing. Which cognitive distortions sometimes affect you and your kids?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once adolescents begin to think abstractly, they are increasingly vulnerable to the impact of cognitive distortions, and that can lead to a lot of discomfort. They can imagine what their peers might be thinking, and they often imagine the worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unless they get a lot of practice identifying cognitive distortions and learn to challenge these thoughts in a very conscious way (as one would in psychotherapy), adolescents will frequently feel the confusion, irritability, anger, and sadness that distorted thinking can cause. And what do you suppose an adolescent might do to avoid or soothe the emotional pain of cognitive distortions? Perhaps, as in the case of Alan, he will simply write a text or eat a doughnut. But sometimes, to avoid such pain, our kids will go to much greater lengths and put themselves at significant risk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_49770\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 160px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-49770\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Jess-Shatkin-Head-Shot-1_credit-Jeremy-Folmer-e1511822535112-160x180.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"180\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Jess-Shatkin-Head-Shot-1_credit-Jeremy-Folmer-e1511822535112-160x180.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Jess-Shatkin-Head-Shot-1_credit-Jeremy-Folmer-e1511822535112-240x270.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2017/11/Jess-Shatkin-Head-Shot-1_credit-Jeremy-Folmer-e1511822535112.jpg 250w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jess Shatkin \u003ccite>(Jeremy Folmer)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Child and adolescent psychiatrist \u003ca href=\"http://www.drjesspshatkin.com/\">Jess P. Shatkin\u003c/a>, M.D., M.P.H., is the author of Born to Be \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Born-Be-Wild-Teens-Risks/dp/0143129791/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1511216482&sr=1-1&keywords=born+to+be+wild&dpID=51Lp1M20KBL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch\">Wild: Why Teens Take Risks, and How we Can Help Keep them Safe\u003c/a>. He serves as Vice Chair for Education at the Child Study Center and Professor of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry and Pediatrics at New York University School of Medicine. Dr. Shatkin is the host of \"About Our Kids,\" a two-hour call-in radio show broadcast live on SiriusXM's Doctor Radio. He lives in New York City with his wife and two teenage children.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/49763/exaggerated-thoughts-that-can-cause-adolescents-to-misperceive-reality","authors":["4354"],"categories":["mindshift_192"],"tags":["mindshift_21093","mindshift_20589","mindshift_21137","mindshift_20784","mindshift_1040","mindshift_20865"],"featImg":"mindshift_49786","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_49190":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_49190","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"49190","score":null,"sort":[1505135952000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"for-teens-knee-deep-in-negativity-reframing-thoughts-can-help","title":"For Teens Knee-Deep In Negativity, Reframing Thoughts Can Help","publishDate":1505135952,"format":"standard","headTitle":"MindShift | KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\"Why didn't she text me back yet? She doesn't like me anymore!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's no way I'm trying out for the team. I suck at basketball\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's not fair that I have a curfew!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sound familiar? Parents of tweens and teens often shrug off such anxious and gloomy thinking as normal irritability and moodiness — because it is. Still, the beginning of a new school year, with all of the required adjustments, is a good time to consider just how closely the habit of negative, exaggerated \"self-talk\" can affect academic and social success, self-esteem and happiness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Psychological research shows that what we think can have a powerful influence on how we feel emotionally and physically, and on how we behave. Research also shows that our harmful thinking patterns can be changed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You may not be of much help when it comes to sharpening your son's calculus skills. But during my 35-plus years of clinical practice it's become clear to me that parents can play a huge role in helping their children to develop a critical life skill: the ability to take notice of their thoughts, to step back and view the bigger picture, and to decide how to act based on that more realistic perspective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taking heed of an alarmist or pessimistic inner voice is a universal experience. It has survival value; it often protects people from danger. And it's often true that a worrying thought can act as a motivating force – to study, for example.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still, the insecurities that adolescents feel as they undergo the multiple transitions necessary in growing up make them especially vulnerable to believing the worst. This tendency can lead to chronic anxiety, depression and anger, and can interfere with relationships and success in school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Helping children grasp the importance of thinking more realistically may help protect them later when they make the huge transition to college. A 2016 \u003ca href=\"http://www.acha-ncha.org/docs/NCHA-II_FALL_2016_REFERENCE_GROUP_EXECUTIVE_SUMMARY.pdf\">survey\u003c/a> by the American College Health Association of undergraduates at over 50 colleges and universities found that about 38 percent had felt so depressed at some time during the previous year that it was tough to function. Some 60 percent had experienced an episode of debilitating anxiety.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The power of thoughts to affect feelings and behavior is a foundational principle of cognitive behavioral therapy, which is the form of therapy that I practice. CBT teaches people how to recognize faulty negative self-talk, to notice how it makes them feel and act, and to challenge it. Parents can practice this skill themselves, and act as models as they guide their kids to question a thought by looking at the evidence for and against it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If your child often seems withdrawn, sad or angry, you may be able to identify a problematic thinking pattern by listening closely. Here are four key styles of negative self-talk to listen for:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Catastrophizing.\u003c/strong> One common thought habit is the tendency to jump to the worst-case scenario (\"What if I fail the test? I'm never going to get into college!\") Scanning constantly for disaster ahead acts as a huge contributor to anxiety. And catastrophizing often leads teens to avoid people or become reluctant to try new things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Zooming in on the negative.\u003c/strong> Ruminating on a disappointment without taking into account the many positive and neutral aspects of one's experience is often associated with sadness and depression. A missed soccer goal might overshadow everything else that happens one day – the lunch with friends, the good grade on a test, the hilarious TV show – and consume your high-schooler for days.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>It's not fair! \u003c/strong>Interpreting every letdown as a grave injustice – the \"it's not fair!\" habit – often underlies teens' anger and can harm friendships and family relationships.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I can't!\u003c/strong> Reacting habitually to difficult situations or to new opportunities with \"I can't,\" rather than \"I can try,\" leads to helplessness. Changing the thought to \"I can try!\" encourages problem-solving and a willingness to be proactive, to take positive action — both keys to being successful and resilient.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For parents, the idea is not to squelch the negative thought. Research has found that attempted \"thought stopping\" can actually make the idea stickier. Rather, you want your child to face the thought, thoroughly examine it and replace it with a more realistic and helpful perspective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Questions that you might pose to carefully weigh the evidence include: \"You had a group of friends at your old school and at camp – realistically, what are the chances you can't make friends now? What actions can you take to reach out? What would you say to somebody else who worries about this?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A helpful replacement thought might be: \"It probably will take a few weeks to get to know people, but I've made friends before and there are things I can try. I can sign up for the photography or robotics club and meet people that way.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More realistic and balanced thinking leads to positive action, which, in turn, tends to bolster confidence, enhance self-esteem and result in greater happiness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Mary K. Alvord, Ph.D., is a psychologist and director of Alvord, Baker & Associates, LLC, in Rockville, Md. She is the co-author of \u003c/em>Conquer Negative Thinking for Teens: A Workbook to Break the Nine Thought Habits That Are Holding You Back\u003cem>, as well as the audio recording \u003c/em>Relaxation and Self-Regulation Techniques for Children and Teens\u003cem>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=For+Teens+Knee-Deep+In+Negativity%2C+Reframing+Thoughts+Can+Help&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Irritation and gloom may seem like the default mode for teenagers, but parents can help them gain a more realistic and resilient way of thinking. A clinical psychologist explains how.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1585038385,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":22,"wordCount":927},"headData":{"title":"For Teens Knee-Deep In Negativity, Reframing Thoughts Can Help | KQED","description":"Irritation and gloom may seem like the default mode for teenagers, but parents can help them gain a more realistic and resilient way of thinking. A clinical psychologist explains how.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"49190 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/?p=49190","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2017/09/11/for-teens-knee-deep-in-negativity-reframing-thoughts-can-help/","disqusTitle":"For Teens Knee-Deep In Negativity, Reframing Thoughts Can Help","nprByline":"Mary Alvord","nprImageAgency":"Jenn Liv for NPR","nprStoryId":"549133027","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=549133027&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/09/09/549133027/for-teens-knee-deep-in-negativity-reframing-thoughts-can-help?ft=nprml&f=549133027","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Sat, 09 Sep 2017 05:00:00 -0400","nprStoryDate":"Sat, 09 Sep 2017 05:00:00 -0400","nprLastModifiedDate":"Sat, 09 Sep 2017 13:07:26 -0400","path":"/mindshift/49190/for-teens-knee-deep-in-negativity-reframing-thoughts-can-help","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\"Why didn't she text me back yet? She doesn't like me anymore!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's no way I'm trying out for the team. I suck at basketball\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's not fair that I have a curfew!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sound familiar? Parents of tweens and teens often shrug off such anxious and gloomy thinking as normal irritability and moodiness — because it is. Still, the beginning of a new school year, with all of the required adjustments, is a good time to consider just how closely the habit of negative, exaggerated \"self-talk\" can affect academic and social success, self-esteem and happiness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Psychological research shows that what we think can have a powerful influence on how we feel emotionally and physically, and on how we behave. Research also shows that our harmful thinking patterns can be changed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You may not be of much help when it comes to sharpening your son's calculus skills. But during my 35-plus years of clinical practice it's become clear to me that parents can play a huge role in helping their children to develop a critical life skill: the ability to take notice of their thoughts, to step back and view the bigger picture, and to decide how to act based on that more realistic perspective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taking heed of an alarmist or pessimistic inner voice is a universal experience. It has survival value; it often protects people from danger. And it's often true that a worrying thought can act as a motivating force – to study, for example.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still, the insecurities that adolescents feel as they undergo the multiple transitions necessary in growing up make them especially vulnerable to believing the worst. This tendency can lead to chronic anxiety, depression and anger, and can interfere with relationships and success in school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Helping children grasp the importance of thinking more realistically may help protect them later when they make the huge transition to college. A 2016 \u003ca href=\"http://www.acha-ncha.org/docs/NCHA-II_FALL_2016_REFERENCE_GROUP_EXECUTIVE_SUMMARY.pdf\">survey\u003c/a> by the American College Health Association of undergraduates at over 50 colleges and universities found that about 38 percent had felt so depressed at some time during the previous year that it was tough to function. Some 60 percent had experienced an episode of debilitating anxiety.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The power of thoughts to affect feelings and behavior is a foundational principle of cognitive behavioral therapy, which is the form of therapy that I practice. CBT teaches people how to recognize faulty negative self-talk, to notice how it makes them feel and act, and to challenge it. Parents can practice this skill themselves, and act as models as they guide their kids to question a thought by looking at the evidence for and against it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If your child often seems withdrawn, sad or angry, you may be able to identify a problematic thinking pattern by listening closely. Here are four key styles of negative self-talk to listen for:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Catastrophizing.\u003c/strong> One common thought habit is the tendency to jump to the worst-case scenario (\"What if I fail the test? I'm never going to get into college!\") Scanning constantly for disaster ahead acts as a huge contributor to anxiety. And catastrophizing often leads teens to avoid people or become reluctant to try new things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Zooming in on the negative.\u003c/strong> Ruminating on a disappointment without taking into account the many positive and neutral aspects of one's experience is often associated with sadness and depression. A missed soccer goal might overshadow everything else that happens one day – the lunch with friends, the good grade on a test, the hilarious TV show – and consume your high-schooler for days.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>It's not fair! \u003c/strong>Interpreting every letdown as a grave injustice – the \"it's not fair!\" habit – often underlies teens' anger and can harm friendships and family relationships.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I can't!\u003c/strong> Reacting habitually to difficult situations or to new opportunities with \"I can't,\" rather than \"I can try,\" leads to helplessness. Changing the thought to \"I can try!\" encourages problem-solving and a willingness to be proactive, to take positive action — both keys to being successful and resilient.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For parents, the idea is not to squelch the negative thought. Research has found that attempted \"thought stopping\" can actually make the idea stickier. Rather, you want your child to face the thought, thoroughly examine it and replace it with a more realistic and helpful perspective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Questions that you might pose to carefully weigh the evidence include: \"You had a group of friends at your old school and at camp – realistically, what are the chances you can't make friends now? What actions can you take to reach out? What would you say to somebody else who worries about this?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A helpful replacement thought might be: \"It probably will take a few weeks to get to know people, but I've made friends before and there are things I can try. I can sign up for the photography or robotics club and meet people that way.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More realistic and balanced thinking leads to positive action, which, in turn, tends to bolster confidence, enhance self-esteem and result in greater happiness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Mary K. Alvord, Ph.D., is a psychologist and director of Alvord, Baker & Associates, LLC, in Rockville, Md. She is the co-author of \u003c/em>Conquer Negative Thinking for Teens: A Workbook to Break the Nine Thought Habits That Are Holding You Back\u003cem>, as well as the audio recording \u003c/em>Relaxation and Self-Regulation Techniques for Children and Teens\u003cem>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=For+Teens+Knee-Deep+In+Negativity%2C+Reframing+Thoughts+Can+Help&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/49190/for-teens-knee-deep-in-negativity-reframing-thoughts-can-help","authors":["byline_mindshift_49190"],"categories":["mindshift_192","mindshift_20874"],"tags":["mindshift_21093","mindshift_21137","mindshift_20784","mindshift_1040","mindshift_20865","mindshift_1038"],"featImg":"mindshift_49191","label":"mindshift"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. 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