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Made to be a portable version of a calming physical space in Kist’s early childhood education classroom, these small plastic pencil boxes hold everything Kist’s students need throughout the day to practice \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62194/is-social-emotional-learning-effective-new-meta-analysis-adds-to-evidence-but-debate-persists\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">self-regulation and emotional identification\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Developed when Kist’s classroom went virtual after the onset of covid, “little safe place” boxes are now a mainstay for Kist’s three to five year-old students. Each student is provided with their own box and practices self-regulating breathing techniques, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/58790/why-kindness-and-emotional-literacy-matters-in-raising-kids\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">providing compassion and empathy towards others\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and labeling and expressing their emotions throughout the school day.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kist, an early childhood educator with 27 years of experience, works at a school that follows the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://consciousdiscipline.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Conscious Discipline\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> framework, which is rooted in social-emotional learning and trauma-informed practices, and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://teachingstrategies.com/product/the-creative-curriculum-for-preschool/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Creative Curriculum\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a project-based early learning framework. Her school also encourages building a “school family” in order to foster safety and connection among the students, faculty and staff. For Kist, a big part of providing safety and connection in her classroom comes from \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61233/why-cultivating-emotional-intelligence-among-toddlers-has-become-more-urgent\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">helping young learners identify and process their emotions\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and “little safe place” boxes are a tool for that.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Being aware of your emotions is the first step in learning how to regulate them,” said \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cara Goodwin\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a child psychologist and author of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/parenting-translator\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parenting Translator newsletter\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Identifying and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62501/want-your-kids-to-be-happier-and-healthier-start-talking-with-them-about-uncomfortable-emotions\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">expressing emotions\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> are “essential for the development of empathy and for maintaining healthy social relationships,” Goodwin continued.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>“Little safe place” boxes\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kist starts the school year by introducing her young students to the four basic emotions: happy, sad, angry and scared. She spends a week on each one, starting with happiness, and uses books, songs, and other classroom visuals as learning aids. Kist continues like this until students are well acquainted with the concepts inside of the “little safe place” boxes. Then she distributes a box to each child.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_63571\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-63571\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-800x1067.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"1067\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-800x1067.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-1020x1360.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-160x213.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-768x1024.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-1536x2048.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-scaled.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jenny Kist created a “My Little Safe Place” box for every student in her early childhood classroom. It contains tools for emotional identification and regulation. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Jenny Kist)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">After that, each morning Kist guides students through using the different tools in their boxes. They take out a card that has faces for the four basic feelings and mark which feeling they identify with that morning. Then, the children take out their breathing strategy card, which has four different icons that indicate different breathing strategies that they have learned. The boxes also have a card in them that remind the students of what Kist calls “I love you” rituals – nursery rhymes with the lyrics changed and designed to help students with attachment and connection. Students practice an “I love you” ritual one-on-one with a classroom adult each morning.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kist’s “little safe place” boxes are modeled from the self-regulation and emotional identification tools in the “safe place” corner of her classroom, an area that also contains a rug and pillows to comfort students. In a moment of dysregulation, whether the student is using the box or the safe place corner, a classroom adult can guide them to use these tools to recognize and move through their emotions. Each student also has a family photo in their box. “\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63086/when-family-tree-projects-frustrate-students-community-maps-are-an-inclusive-alternative\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Connections to home\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> are just so helpful if they’re upset about anything,” said Kist.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Learning to identify emotions\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Identifying emotions is a complex process. For young children the first steps in this process are learning to recognize facial expressions, tone of voice and body language, according to Goodwin, the child psychologist. They also need to learn to label those context clues with language.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">According to Goodwin, children should be able to identify emotions by around three or four years old. Although most children will learn how to identify emotions naturally through social interaction, parents and educators can facilitate that learning. “The biggest thing you can do is just talk about emotions,” she said. Taking opportunities to talk about and label your own emotions or the emotions expressed in a children’s TV show or book can be helpful. It is also helpful for parents and educators to label emotions that a child is expressing for them so that “in the future they can then learn to label it themselves,” Goodwin said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">To help students \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62290/teaching-kids-the-right-way-to-say-im-sorry\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">build empathy\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, Goodwin recommends parents and educators ask young children what a character in a book or tv show might be feeling, and why they might be feeling that way. One activity that Goodwin has found useful in her personal and professional life is “\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://rainbowdays.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rainbow-Days-SEL-Resource-Feelings-Charades-on-website.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">feeling charades\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.” In this game, both children and adults act out a feeling, while the other participants guess what feeling they are expressing. Feeling charades can also be played with puppets or toys.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Learning to regulate emotions\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In Kist’s classroom, students practice emotional regulation strategies throughout the day, not just when there’s a peer conflict or an individual child is distressed. “You can’t teach it when they’re in the middle of it,” Kist said. When a child is upset, she takes time to acknowledge the student’s feelings, reflect back to them what their face is expressing and suggest an emotion that they might be feeling. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kist’s students also practice different breathing techniques throughout the day. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63039/to-help-students-deal-with-trauma-this-school-holds-mindfulness-lessons-over-the-loudspeaker\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Breathing exercises can be helpful for self-regulation\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, but young children need concrete explanations, so the techniques Kist uses have a symbol, such as a star or a balloon. The visual reminders are printed on a small laminated page in their “little safe place” box. When a student needs to access deep breathing, they can pull out their breathing card and choose an exercise. Kist and her students also make up their own breathing exercises, always involving a physical aspect like deep breathing while swinging their leg to kick an imaginary ball.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_63512\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-63512 size-medium\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-800x600.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-160x120.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-768x576.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-2048x1536.jpg 2048w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-1920x1440.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The “safe place” corner of Jenny Kist’s classroom contains a rug and pillows to comfort students, as well as tools to help them identify and process their feelings. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Jenny Kist)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Goodwin suggested encouraging children to breathe in through their nose and out through their mouth by pretending to smell a flower and blow out a candle. This can be given as a verbal explanation, but can also be helped by using fake flowers and candles, or even drawings for children to reference. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Goodwin also uses \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiMb2Bw4Ae8\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">belly breathing\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, where young children put their hands on their bellies as they breathe to feel how their abdomen expands and contracts with each breath, as well as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKdApTxsDP0\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">five-finger breathing\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, where children trace their fingers on one hand with the index finger on their other hand as they take slow breaths, one per finger. Teaching these techniques can be frustrating because kids at this age are easily distracted and learning these skills for the first time. It “just takes like a lot of modeling,” and “a lot of reminding,” said Goodwin.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>COVID-19 origins and ongoing impact\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kist originally created the “my little safe place” boxes when the early learning center went virtual in spring 2020 because of the COVID-19 pandemic. During the unfamiliar experience of virtual learning, she wanted to find a way to provide a portable and accessible version of the safe space corner for each student.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Initially, not every student was given a “little safe place” box. But as she saw how helpful they were to the students that she had given them to during at home learning, Kist decided that every student in her classroom should have one. Since incorporating the boxes in her in-person classroom, she has seen students bring other students their boxes in moments of dysregulation. She has also seen some of her young learners singing their “I love you” nursery rhymes with each other unprompted.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">According to Goodwin, we don’t yet have enough data to determine if distance learning had \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61310/are-the-pandemic-babies-and-kids-ok\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">any long-term effects\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> on young children’s ability to identify and process emotions, but she is encouraged by the knowledge that children’s brains are very plastic. There is a sensitive period for developing the skills to process emotions, but that “doesn’t mean that’s the only time you can learn those skills,” Goodwin said. At the same time, she added, it doesn’t hurt for parents and educators to focus on educating young children on emotional and social emotional skills that they may have missed out on during the early years of the pandemic.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"In Jenny Kist's preschool classroom, small plastic pencil boxes hold everything kids need to practice self-regulation and emotional identification.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1713272775,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":19,"wordCount":1500},"headData":{"title":"Young Children Need Help Identifying Emotions. “Little Safe Place” Boxes Give Them Tools. | KQED","description":"In Jenny Kist's preschool classroom, small plastic pencil boxes hold everything kids need to practice self-regulation and emotional identification.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"In Jenny Kist's preschool classroom, small plastic pencil boxes hold everything kids need to practice self-regulation and emotional identification.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Young Children Need Help Identifying Emotions. “Little Safe Place” Boxes Give Them Tools.","datePublished":"2024-04-16T10:00:28.000Z","dateModified":"2024-04-16T13:06:15.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/63506/young-children-need-help-identifying-emotions-little-safe-place-boxes-give-them-tools","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When Jenny Kist’s students walk through the classroom door every morning, they take out their “little safe place” boxes. Made to be a portable version of a calming physical space in Kist’s early childhood education classroom, these small plastic pencil boxes hold everything Kist’s students need throughout the day to practice \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62194/is-social-emotional-learning-effective-new-meta-analysis-adds-to-evidence-but-debate-persists\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">self-regulation and emotional identification\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Developed when Kist’s classroom went virtual after the onset of covid, “little safe place” boxes are now a mainstay for Kist’s three to five year-old students. Each student is provided with their own box and practices self-regulating breathing techniques, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/58790/why-kindness-and-emotional-literacy-matters-in-raising-kids\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">providing compassion and empathy towards others\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and labeling and expressing their emotions throughout the school day.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kist, an early childhood educator with 27 years of experience, works at a school that follows the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://consciousdiscipline.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Conscious Discipline\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> framework, which is rooted in social-emotional learning and trauma-informed practices, and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://teachingstrategies.com/product/the-creative-curriculum-for-preschool/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Creative Curriculum\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a project-based early learning framework. Her school also encourages building a “school family” in order to foster safety and connection among the students, faculty and staff. For Kist, a big part of providing safety and connection in her classroom comes from \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61233/why-cultivating-emotional-intelligence-among-toddlers-has-become-more-urgent\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">helping young learners identify and process their emotions\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and “little safe place” boxes are a tool for that.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Being aware of your emotions is the first step in learning how to regulate them,” said \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cara Goodwin\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a child psychologist and author of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/parenting-translator\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parenting Translator newsletter\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Identifying and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62501/want-your-kids-to-be-happier-and-healthier-start-talking-with-them-about-uncomfortable-emotions\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">expressing emotions\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> are “essential for the development of empathy and for maintaining healthy social relationships,” Goodwin continued.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>“Little safe place” boxes\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kist starts the school year by introducing her young students to the four basic emotions: happy, sad, angry and scared. She spends a week on each one, starting with happiness, and uses books, songs, and other classroom visuals as learning aids. Kist continues like this until students are well acquainted with the concepts inside of the “little safe place” boxes. Then she distributes a box to each child.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_63571\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-63571\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-800x1067.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"1067\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-800x1067.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-1020x1360.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-160x213.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-768x1024.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-1536x2048.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace5-scaled.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jenny Kist created a “My Little Safe Place” box for every student in her early childhood classroom. It contains tools for emotional identification and regulation. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Jenny Kist)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">After that, each morning Kist guides students through using the different tools in their boxes. They take out a card that has faces for the four basic feelings and mark which feeling they identify with that morning. Then, the children take out their breathing strategy card, which has four different icons that indicate different breathing strategies that they have learned. The boxes also have a card in them that remind the students of what Kist calls “I love you” rituals – nursery rhymes with the lyrics changed and designed to help students with attachment and connection. Students practice an “I love you” ritual one-on-one with a classroom adult each morning.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kist’s “little safe place” boxes are modeled from the self-regulation and emotional identification tools in the “safe place” corner of her classroom, an area that also contains a rug and pillows to comfort students. In a moment of dysregulation, whether the student is using the box or the safe place corner, a classroom adult can guide them to use these tools to recognize and move through their emotions. Each student also has a family photo in their box. “\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63086/when-family-tree-projects-frustrate-students-community-maps-are-an-inclusive-alternative\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Connections to home\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> are just so helpful if they’re upset about anything,” said Kist.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Learning to identify emotions\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Identifying emotions is a complex process. For young children the first steps in this process are learning to recognize facial expressions, tone of voice and body language, according to Goodwin, the child psychologist. They also need to learn to label those context clues with language.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">According to Goodwin, children should be able to identify emotions by around three or four years old. Although most children will learn how to identify emotions naturally through social interaction, parents and educators can facilitate that learning. “The biggest thing you can do is just talk about emotions,” she said. Taking opportunities to talk about and label your own emotions or the emotions expressed in a children’s TV show or book can be helpful. It is also helpful for parents and educators to label emotions that a child is expressing for them so that “in the future they can then learn to label it themselves,” Goodwin said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">To help students \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62290/teaching-kids-the-right-way-to-say-im-sorry\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">build empathy\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, Goodwin recommends parents and educators ask young children what a character in a book or tv show might be feeling, and why they might be feeling that way. One activity that Goodwin has found useful in her personal and professional life is “\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://rainbowdays.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Rainbow-Days-SEL-Resource-Feelings-Charades-on-website.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">feeling charades\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.” In this game, both children and adults act out a feeling, while the other participants guess what feeling they are expressing. Feeling charades can also be played with puppets or toys.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Learning to regulate emotions\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In Kist’s classroom, students practice emotional regulation strategies throughout the day, not just when there’s a peer conflict or an individual child is distressed. “You can’t teach it when they’re in the middle of it,” Kist said. When a child is upset, she takes time to acknowledge the student’s feelings, reflect back to them what their face is expressing and suggest an emotion that they might be feeling. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kist’s students also practice different breathing techniques throughout the day. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63039/to-help-students-deal-with-trauma-this-school-holds-mindfulness-lessons-over-the-loudspeaker\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Breathing exercises can be helpful for self-regulation\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, but young children need concrete explanations, so the techniques Kist uses have a symbol, such as a star or a balloon. The visual reminders are printed on a small laminated page in their “little safe place” box. When a student needs to access deep breathing, they can pull out their breathing card and choose an exercise. Kist and her students also make up their own breathing exercises, always involving a physical aspect like deep breathing while swinging their leg to kick an imaginary ball.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_63512\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-63512 size-medium\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-800x600.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-160x120.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-768x576.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-2048x1536.jpg 2048w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/04/safeplace3-1920x1440.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The “safe place” corner of Jenny Kist’s classroom contains a rug and pillows to comfort students, as well as tools to help them identify and process their feelings. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Jenny Kist)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Goodwin suggested encouraging children to breathe in through their nose and out through their mouth by pretending to smell a flower and blow out a candle. This can be given as a verbal explanation, but can also be helped by using fake flowers and candles, or even drawings for children to reference. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Goodwin also uses \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiMb2Bw4Ae8\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">belly breathing\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, where young children put their hands on their bellies as they breathe to feel how their abdomen expands and contracts with each breath, as well as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKdApTxsDP0\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">five-finger breathing\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, where children trace their fingers on one hand with the index finger on their other hand as they take slow breaths, one per finger. Teaching these techniques can be frustrating because kids at this age are easily distracted and learning these skills for the first time. It “just takes like a lot of modeling,” and “a lot of reminding,” said Goodwin.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>COVID-19 origins and ongoing impact\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kist originally created the “my little safe place” boxes when the early learning center went virtual in spring 2020 because of the COVID-19 pandemic. During the unfamiliar experience of virtual learning, she wanted to find a way to provide a portable and accessible version of the safe space corner for each student.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Initially, not every student was given a “little safe place” box. But as she saw how helpful they were to the students that she had given them to during at home learning, Kist decided that every student in her classroom should have one. Since incorporating the boxes in her in-person classroom, she has seen students bring other students their boxes in moments of dysregulation. She has also seen some of her young learners singing their “I love you” nursery rhymes with each other unprompted.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">According to Goodwin, we don’t yet have enough data to determine if distance learning had \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61310/are-the-pandemic-babies-and-kids-ok\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">any long-term effects\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> on young children’s ability to identify and process emotions, but she is encouraged by the knowledge that children’s brains are very plastic. There is a sensitive period for developing the skills to process emotions, but that “doesn’t mean that’s the only time you can learn those skills,” Goodwin said. At the same time, she added, it doesn’t hurt for parents and educators to focus on educating young children on emotional and social emotional skills that they may have missed out on during the early years of the pandemic.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/63506/young-children-need-help-identifying-emotions-little-safe-place-boxes-give-them-tools","authors":["11759"],"categories":["mindshift_194","mindshift_21280","mindshift_21385","mindshift_193"],"tags":["mindshift_20720","mindshift_21157","mindshift_20699","mindshift_841","mindshift_152","mindshift_943"],"featImg":"mindshift_63511","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_63497":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_63497","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"63497","score":null,"sort":[1712624410000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"parents-make-mistakes-when-setting-screen-time-rules-for-their-kids-thats-ok","title":"Parents Make Mistakes When Setting Screen Time Rules For Their Kids. That’s OK.","publishDate":1712624410,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Parents Make Mistakes When Setting Screen Time Rules For Their Kids. That’s OK. | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Oh my God! I can do that?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">That’s what one mother told \u003ca href=\"https://draliza.com/\">Aliza Pressman\u003c/a> when encouraged to change screen time rules that she struggled to enforce at home. Her son had been having a hard time peeling himself away from a video game and said he was feeling stress and anxiety when he wasn’t playing. But the parent was worried about changing recently agreed upon rules which allowed her son to play that video game a little bit every day. It was a big change from the previous ‘weekends only’ video game rule. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pressman’s response to the parent was simple: “Just change the rules.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pressman, a developmental psychologist, is the author of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-5-Principles-of-Parenting/Aliza-Pressman/9781668014530\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">5 Principles of Parenting\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and spoke with me about raising resilient children in the digital age. Parents tell her they feel defeated, especially during difficult and scary parenting moments, when they’re also trying to nurture a child’s autonomy. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Autonomy is developed in kids when they’re given the space and guidance to face their own challenges and stretch their abilities, as opposed to having things done for them, or being dependent on someone else – like an adult – to tell them exactly what to do. Autonomy with mundane tasks like knowing how to clean up after yourself has been encouraged for ages; however, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62233/how-to-help-your-kids-navigate-social-media-without-getting-lost\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">nurturing autonomy when it comes to screen time\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> can feel more challenging because of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61863/anti-dopamine-parenting-can-curb-a-kids-craving-for-screens-or-sweets\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">addictive design of technology\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“We forget that we’re still parents and we have permission to parent,” said Pressman, and that parents can tap into their inner authority, especially when enforcing \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61126/how-to-help-young-people-limit-screen-time-and-improve-their-body-image\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">rules for screen time\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Why rules make us uncomfortable \u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents can feel uncomfortable and guilty about implementing rules for their children, Pressman said. However, rules encompass boundaries and limits and are an essential piece in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60624/young-adults-are-struggling-with-their-mental-health-is-more-childhood-independence-the-answer\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">creating resilience\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “As parents, it’s our job to establish those rules, and then to hold them in an authoritative way,” writes Pressman; and it takes practice. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Autonomy is important to a developing child. When a parent supports their child’s autonomy, they are ultimately helping them develop \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/executive-function\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">executive function skills\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, which help people prioritize tasks, and exercise restraint and impulse control. These skills can be taught to children as their brains mature. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Supporting a child’s autonomy requires self-reflection, according to Pressman. By paying attention to the capacity of your child, and allowing them to see their own capacity, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61570/how-do-children-learn-right-from-wrong\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">you can exert control over what you can\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, but still \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60624/young-adults-are-struggling-with-their-mental-health-is-more-childhood-independence-the-answer\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">allow your child to guide their own development\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “It allows you to offer space for your child to be competent and have some ownership over their lives and their choices” and this “helps build an internal sense of worthiness” for your child, said Pressman.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This type of autonomy can be very valuable to a child navigating \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61026/10-things-to-know-about-how-social-media-affects-teens-brains\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">digital spaces that increasingly permeate our lives\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Supporting a child’s autonomy isn’t lazy parenting; kids need guidance and boundaries, and they won’t always receive supervision online as they grow older. But rules are hard, and different children present parents with different challenges. According to Pressman, “you want to reflect on what kind of child you have.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If a child craves a sense of agency and has big reactions to not being able to do something themselves, she advises parents to guide that child towards smaller, more manageable steps. Even if the child pushes back against this approach, Pressman encouraged parents to stick with it, letting the child know that they have their parent’s support.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pressman pointed to a mock contract provided at the end of her book to set concrete and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/our-sons-behavior-improved-with-a-tech-agreement\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">collaborative rules and limits\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to social media and digital technology use. This contract exercise gives the child freedom of choice, but still enforces logical and previously agreed upon consequences if they make a choice that breaks the contract. According to Pressman, a contractual agreement might also help parents navigate the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61654/what-happens-when-one-twin-scorns-social-media-and-the-other-embraces-it\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">differences between their children\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> when it comes to each child’s individual capacity to interact with digital technologies in a healthy way. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>It’s OK to revise the rules\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Because of the addictive design of social media and digital technologies, Pressman said that children need more guardrails rather than fewer, and parents are often divided or feel helpless. Some parents view all screens as evil while others find that tech is the only way forward.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“There’s space between those two extremes, and leaning into that space is what will best serve you and your kids,” according to Pressman. Denying children access to safely discovering the many uses of digital technology only sets them up for the misuse of these digital technologies and spaces, she said. Pressman encouraged parents to be \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62233/how-to-help-your-kids-navigate-social-media-without-getting-lost\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“social media mentors”\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> who \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60436/when-parents-practice-good-screen-habits-it-rubs-off-on-the-whole-family\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">model appropriate and reasonable online and on-screen behavior\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that reflects that family’s predetermined set of screen rules. These situations can create opportunities for parents to be the go-to guides. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As for entering the world of technology, she recommended small incremental exposures first \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62004/so-your-tween-wants-a-smartphone-read-this-first\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">when the child is ready\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “Know [your child’s] temperament and how they respond” to these incremental exposures to digital technology, said Pressman. Is your child a rule breaker or follower? What is a challenge for them in digital spaces and what comes easily for them? These questions allow parents to see what their child is ready for.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>If your kid hates the rule, maybe it’s not a good rule for YOUR kid\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If your child doesn’t respond well to the rules, then it might be time to change those rules. “We have to be there to help [our kids] as they’re navigating things that are developmentally challenging,” said Pressman.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s a parent’s job to reassess, and determine if rules need to be changed, said Pressman. Adding in a reminder to a child that there is room for growth after rules have been changed or established, is also part of the job, she continued. Revising the rules is part of the parenting process. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At the end of the day, Pressman has some good news for parents: You are the parent you want to be more often than not. If a less-than-ideal parenting decision has been made there’s always room for repair, and it’s these reparative moments that strengthen relationships, according to Pressman. Changing the rules can be a moment of repair.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"When a parent supports their child’s autonomy, they are ultimately helping them develop executive function skills.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1712601122,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":23,"wordCount":1131},"headData":{"title":"Parents Make Mistakes When Setting Screen Time Rules For Their Kids. That’s OK. | KQED","description":"When a parent supports their child’s autonomy, they are ultimately helping them develop executive function skills.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"When a parent supports their child’s autonomy, they are ultimately helping them develop executive function skills.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Parents Make Mistakes When Setting Screen Time Rules For Their Kids. That’s OK.","datePublished":"2024-04-09T01:00:10.000Z","dateModified":"2024-04-08T18:32:02.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/63497/parents-make-mistakes-when-setting-screen-time-rules-for-their-kids-thats-ok","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Oh my God! I can do that?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">That’s what one mother told \u003ca href=\"https://draliza.com/\">Aliza Pressman\u003c/a> when encouraged to change screen time rules that she struggled to enforce at home. Her son had been having a hard time peeling himself away from a video game and said he was feeling stress and anxiety when he wasn’t playing. But the parent was worried about changing recently agreed upon rules which allowed her son to play that video game a little bit every day. It was a big change from the previous ‘weekends only’ video game rule. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pressman’s response to the parent was simple: “Just change the rules.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pressman, a developmental psychologist, is the author of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-5-Principles-of-Parenting/Aliza-Pressman/9781668014530\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">5 Principles of Parenting\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and spoke with me about raising resilient children in the digital age. Parents tell her they feel defeated, especially during difficult and scary parenting moments, when they’re also trying to nurture a child’s autonomy. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Autonomy is developed in kids when they’re given the space and guidance to face their own challenges and stretch their abilities, as opposed to having things done for them, or being dependent on someone else – like an adult – to tell them exactly what to do. Autonomy with mundane tasks like knowing how to clean up after yourself has been encouraged for ages; however, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62233/how-to-help-your-kids-navigate-social-media-without-getting-lost\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">nurturing autonomy when it comes to screen time\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> can feel more challenging because of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61863/anti-dopamine-parenting-can-curb-a-kids-craving-for-screens-or-sweets\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">addictive design of technology\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“We forget that we’re still parents and we have permission to parent,” said Pressman, and that parents can tap into their inner authority, especially when enforcing \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61126/how-to-help-young-people-limit-screen-time-and-improve-their-body-image\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">rules for screen time\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Why rules make us uncomfortable \u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents can feel uncomfortable and guilty about implementing rules for their children, Pressman said. However, rules encompass boundaries and limits and are an essential piece in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60624/young-adults-are-struggling-with-their-mental-health-is-more-childhood-independence-the-answer\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">creating resilience\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “As parents, it’s our job to establish those rules, and then to hold them in an authoritative way,” writes Pressman; and it takes practice. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Autonomy is important to a developing child. When a parent supports their child’s autonomy, they are ultimately helping them develop \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/executive-function\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">executive function skills\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, which help people prioritize tasks, and exercise restraint and impulse control. These skills can be taught to children as their brains mature. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Supporting a child’s autonomy requires self-reflection, according to Pressman. By paying attention to the capacity of your child, and allowing them to see their own capacity, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61570/how-do-children-learn-right-from-wrong\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">you can exert control over what you can\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, but still \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60624/young-adults-are-struggling-with-their-mental-health-is-more-childhood-independence-the-answer\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">allow your child to guide their own development\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “It allows you to offer space for your child to be competent and have some ownership over their lives and their choices” and this “helps build an internal sense of worthiness” for your child, said Pressman.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This type of autonomy can be very valuable to a child navigating \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61026/10-things-to-know-about-how-social-media-affects-teens-brains\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">digital spaces that increasingly permeate our lives\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Supporting a child’s autonomy isn’t lazy parenting; kids need guidance and boundaries, and they won’t always receive supervision online as they grow older. But rules are hard, and different children present parents with different challenges. According to Pressman, “you want to reflect on what kind of child you have.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If a child craves a sense of agency and has big reactions to not being able to do something themselves, she advises parents to guide that child towards smaller, more manageable steps. Even if the child pushes back against this approach, Pressman encouraged parents to stick with it, letting the child know that they have their parent’s support.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pressman pointed to a mock contract provided at the end of her book to set concrete and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/our-sons-behavior-improved-with-a-tech-agreement\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">collaborative rules and limits\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to social media and digital technology use. This contract exercise gives the child freedom of choice, but still enforces logical and previously agreed upon consequences if they make a choice that breaks the contract. According to Pressman, a contractual agreement might also help parents navigate the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61654/what-happens-when-one-twin-scorns-social-media-and-the-other-embraces-it\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">differences between their children\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> when it comes to each child’s individual capacity to interact with digital technologies in a healthy way. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>It’s OK to revise the rules\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Because of the addictive design of social media and digital technologies, Pressman said that children need more guardrails rather than fewer, and parents are often divided or feel helpless. Some parents view all screens as evil while others find that tech is the only way forward.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“There’s space between those two extremes, and leaning into that space is what will best serve you and your kids,” according to Pressman. Denying children access to safely discovering the many uses of digital technology only sets them up for the misuse of these digital technologies and spaces, she said. Pressman encouraged parents to be \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62233/how-to-help-your-kids-navigate-social-media-without-getting-lost\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“social media mentors”\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> who \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60436/when-parents-practice-good-screen-habits-it-rubs-off-on-the-whole-family\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">model appropriate and reasonable online and on-screen behavior\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that reflects that family’s predetermined set of screen rules. These situations can create opportunities for parents to be the go-to guides. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As for entering the world of technology, she recommended small incremental exposures first \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62004/so-your-tween-wants-a-smartphone-read-this-first\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">when the child is ready\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “Know [your child’s] temperament and how they respond” to these incremental exposures to digital technology, said Pressman. Is your child a rule breaker or follower? What is a challenge for them in digital spaces and what comes easily for them? These questions allow parents to see what their child is ready for.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>If your kid hates the rule, maybe it’s not a good rule for YOUR kid\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If your child doesn’t respond well to the rules, then it might be time to change those rules. “We have to be there to help [our kids] as they’re navigating things that are developmentally challenging,” said Pressman.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s a parent’s job to reassess, and determine if rules need to be changed, said Pressman. Adding in a reminder to a child that there is room for growth after rules have been changed or established, is also part of the job, she continued. Revising the rules is part of the parenting process. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At the end of the day, Pressman has some good news for parents: You are the parent you want to be more often than not. If a less-than-ideal parenting decision has been made there’s always room for repair, and it’s these reparative moments that strengthen relationships, according to Pressman. Changing the rules can be a moment of repair.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/63497/parents-make-mistakes-when-setting-screen-time-rules-for-their-kids-thats-ok","authors":["11759"],"categories":["mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_21612","mindshift_20512","mindshift_21614","mindshift_20816"],"featImg":"mindshift_63499","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_63456":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_63456","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"63456","score":null,"sort":[1712106598000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"6-ways-educators-can-bolster-boys-social-skills","title":"6 Ways Educators Can Bolster Boys’ Social Skills","publishDate":1712106598,"format":"standard","headTitle":"6 Ways Educators Can Bolster Boys’ Social Skills | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">On a Thursday evening in January, parents sat at cafeteria tables with sixth-graders, eating pasta and discussing scripted questions, including “How does someone earn your trust?” and “What makes a good friend?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“So many boys describe feelings of loneliness, of having friends but longing for someone they can confide in about hard feelings,” said Adam Diaz, a school counselor and my colleague at Landon School, an independent boys school in Bethesda, Maryland. We designed this activity at the school’s annual spaghetti dinner to encourage conversation among caregivers and students about \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63184/when-parents-know-these-4-phases-of-friendship-they-can-help-their-child-make-friends-more-easily\">healthy friendships\u003c/a>. “This was an opportunity for the boys to practice social skills and for parents to model being honest and vulnerable,” Diaz continued.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At a time when \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34898234/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">rates of loneliness\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> are rising among young adults and researchers report that 15- to 24-year-olds spend nearly \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">70% less time\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> socializing in-person with friends than they did two decades ago, boys face some distinct challenges.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For instance, in their 2021 report, “\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.boyhoodinitiative.org/sites/default/files/2023-06/State-of-American-Boys-Report.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The State of America’s Boys: An Urgent Case for a More Connected Boyhood\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">,” researchers Michael Reichert and Joseph Derrick Nelson note that boys feel \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57024/for-adolescent-boys-maintaining-masculinity-can-stymie-genuine-connections\">pressure to conform to societal expectations about masculinity\u003c/a>, such as being stoic, dominant and competitive. That may help explain why boys are more likely to experience physical and verbal bullying and why they’re less academically engaged than girls.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Here are six ways \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54878/how-strengthening-relationships-with-boys-can-help-them-learn\">educators can help boys\u003c/a> acquire the skills and traits they need to strengthen their relationships and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/56979/what-the-research-says-about-the-academic-power-of-friendship\">thrive at school\u003c/a>.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>1. Connect the dots between self-regulation and reputation \u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys can turn off peers by calling out in class or elbowing a classmate. To \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53132/concrete-ways-to-help-students-self-regulate-and-prioritize-work\">help them self-regulate\u003c/a>, Diaz prompts boys to consider questions such as, “Can I sit next to someone whose presence calms me down?” and “Can I write down any questions I have before raising my hand?”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://news.fullerton.edu/press-release/child-development-expert-why-boys-are-falling-behind-in-education/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Ioakim Boutakidis\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, professor of child and adolescent studies at California State University, Fullerton, notes that t\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">he self-regulatory components of the brain aren’t integrated as quickly in boys as in girls\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and “boys \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">that have a harder time picking up on social cues are often the most aggressive because they misinterpret accidental gestures as malicious intent.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Scripts are created,” Boutakidis said, and students pick up on teachers’ attitudes toward students, too. To help repair a struggling student’s reputation, try to set them up for success and praise them publicly.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>2. Distinguish between “funny, mean and in-between” comments\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys are more likely to make a comment like, “‘You’re such an idiot; I can’t believe I hang out with you’ – said while smiling and patting them on the back,” said \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/mitchprinstein\">Mitch Prinstein\u003c/a>, chief s\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">cience officer for the American Psychological Association\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “It’s a way to express vulnerability but also be dominant.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Joking can be misinterpreted and lead to fights,” added \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.mrhealthteacher.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Christopher Pepper\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a teacher who coordinates boys’ groups in San Francisco Public Schools. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">He encourages boys to “lean into sincerity rather than hide behind ‘can’t you take a joke?’” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/ryanwexelblatt\">Ryan Wexelblatt\u003c/a>, the director of ADHD Dude, which offers in-person \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.adhddude.com/social-programs\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">social skills programs\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> for boys in Tucson, Arizona, teaches boys that there are some things you shouldn’t joke about, such as\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> physical appearance and race.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When I teach health and wellness in schools, I have students act out comments like “Oh, you got a haircut” or “We already have enough players on our team,” then determine whether it’s “nice, mean or in-between.” They quickly realize that the same comment can be perceived as mean or inoffensive depending on someone’s word choice, tone and past interactions with you.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb style=\"font-size: 24px\">3. Provide structured social opportunities \u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Adults have to take responsibility for creating structured engagement with young folks,” said \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/darylhowardphd\">Daryl Howard\u003c/a>, director of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://bondeducators.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Building Our Network of Diversity (BOND) Project\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and chair of the Maryland department of education’s \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://marylandpublicschools.org/programs/Pages/AAEEBB/index.aspx\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Advisory Council on Achieving Academic Equity and Excellence for Black Boys\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When Howard facilitates BOND boys groups, he starts each session with a community circle “so no one can sit by themselves or play on devices.” The boys introduce themselves and share a personal update, with the goal of helping them find connection points so they can interact more comfortably on their own, he explained.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At Sterling Hall, a boys school in Toronto, Ontario, students can join a group tailored to their needs or sign up to eat lunch with a “mystery teacher,” said Catriona Gallienne, the school’s director of student success. All students start the day with a 30-minute period designated for social-emotional learning, such as an assembly, health class or community circles.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">During circle time, boys might talk about a challenge at home or express frustration over how teams are picked at recess, said Rick Parsons, principal of Sterling Hall. “Inevitably, someone will validate their experience or share, ‘This is what happened to me.’” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The circles normalize boys’ experiences and combat harmful stereotypes about needing to “go it alone,” said Andrew Reiner, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">author of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.harpercollins.com/products/better-boys-better-men-andrew-reiner\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “They see that they not only have permission to open up, but it’s going to be met with support.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>4. Help boys socialize informally\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys who feel awkward might opt out of recess, lunch and other unstructured social time. To ease their discomfort, schools can add Spikeball games or extra balls to outdoor areas, designate a board game table in the cafeteria, or hold chess club meetings during lunch.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“I tell elementary schools, ‘have a Lego cart outside,’ but some \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60253/play-is-crucial-for-middle-schoolers-too\">teenagers like that too\u003c/a>,” said \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/katiefhurley\">Katie Hurley\u003c/a>, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a child and adolescent psychotherapist and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://jedfoundation.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Jed Foundation’s\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> senior clinical adviser for external affairs.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">View spaces with an eye to optimizing interaction. For instance, Hurley visited a school where students gather on couches in the hallway.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>5. Recognize that some boys need more help\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some students may need more help understanding the unwritten rules of socializing, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61966/how-parents-can-help-children-with-adhd-thrive-in-friendships\">including boys with ADHD\u003c/a>. “Some kids with an inattentive profile are what I call the stick collectors,” Wexelblatt said. “They get caught up in their own world and walk around the perimeter collecting sticks.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys with an impulsive profile can be more emotionally reactive, he said. “They might think they’re being bullied, but other kids find them controlling or just don’t want to do what they’re doing.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Praise boys for being flexible or showing interest in peers’ ideas. Diaz prompts students to ponder questions such as\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, “How close do you stand to someone? How do you ask a question? What’s okay to ask?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>6. Make caring for others a shared responsibility\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At Sterling Hall, Parsons said, educators have a saying: “Big boys look out for themselves; bigger boys look out for others.” To that end, older students mentor younger students, and eighth-grade boys partner with younger students to paint a buddy bench on the playground. If a student has no one to play with, they sit on the buddy bench.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Every boy is responsible for making sure no one is sitting on the buddy bench,” Parsons explained, adding that no one sits there for more than 60 seconds. As he noted, “boys want to be leaders, to be good, to look out for others and to get affirmation for that. Belonging is everything.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://phyllisfagell.com/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Phyllis L. Fagell\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a licensed clinical professional counselor and professional school counselor, is the author of \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/phyllis-l-fagell/middle-school-matters/9780738235080/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Middle School Matters\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/phyllis-l-fagell/middle-school-superpowers/9780306829758/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Young adults spend nearly 70% less time socializing in-person with friends than they did two decades ago, and boys face some distinct challenges.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1712151777,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":29,"wordCount":1360},"headData":{"title":"6 Ways Educators Can Bolster Boys’ Social Skills | KQED","description":"Young adults spend nearly 70% less time socializing in-person with friends than they did two decades ago, and boys face some distinct challenges.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"Young adults spend nearly 70% less time socializing in-person with friends than they did two decades ago, and boys face some distinct challenges.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"6 Ways Educators Can Bolster Boys’ Social Skills","datePublished":"2024-04-03T01:09:58.000Z","dateModified":"2024-04-03T13:42:57.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"nprByline":"Phyllis L. Fagell","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/63456/6-ways-educators-can-bolster-boys-social-skills","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">On a Thursday evening in January, parents sat at cafeteria tables with sixth-graders, eating pasta and discussing scripted questions, including “How does someone earn your trust?” and “What makes a good friend?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“So many boys describe feelings of loneliness, of having friends but longing for someone they can confide in about hard feelings,” said Adam Diaz, a school counselor and my colleague at Landon School, an independent boys school in Bethesda, Maryland. We designed this activity at the school’s annual spaghetti dinner to encourage conversation among caregivers and students about \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63184/when-parents-know-these-4-phases-of-friendship-they-can-help-their-child-make-friends-more-easily\">healthy friendships\u003c/a>. “This was an opportunity for the boys to practice social skills and for parents to model being honest and vulnerable,” Diaz continued.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At a time when \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34898234/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">rates of loneliness\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> are rising among young adults and researchers report that 15- to 24-year-olds spend nearly \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">70% less time\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> socializing in-person with friends than they did two decades ago, boys face some distinct challenges.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For instance, in their 2021 report, “\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.boyhoodinitiative.org/sites/default/files/2023-06/State-of-American-Boys-Report.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The State of America’s Boys: An Urgent Case for a More Connected Boyhood\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">,” researchers Michael Reichert and Joseph Derrick Nelson note that boys feel \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57024/for-adolescent-boys-maintaining-masculinity-can-stymie-genuine-connections\">pressure to conform to societal expectations about masculinity\u003c/a>, such as being stoic, dominant and competitive. That may help explain why boys are more likely to experience physical and verbal bullying and why they’re less academically engaged than girls.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Here are six ways \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54878/how-strengthening-relationships-with-boys-can-help-them-learn\">educators can help boys\u003c/a> acquire the skills and traits they need to strengthen their relationships and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/56979/what-the-research-says-about-the-academic-power-of-friendship\">thrive at school\u003c/a>.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>1. Connect the dots between self-regulation and reputation \u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys can turn off peers by calling out in class or elbowing a classmate. To \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53132/concrete-ways-to-help-students-self-regulate-and-prioritize-work\">help them self-regulate\u003c/a>, Diaz prompts boys to consider questions such as, “Can I sit next to someone whose presence calms me down?” and “Can I write down any questions I have before raising my hand?”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://news.fullerton.edu/press-release/child-development-expert-why-boys-are-falling-behind-in-education/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Ioakim Boutakidis\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, professor of child and adolescent studies at California State University, Fullerton, notes that t\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">he self-regulatory components of the brain aren’t integrated as quickly in boys as in girls\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and “boys \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">that have a harder time picking up on social cues are often the most aggressive because they misinterpret accidental gestures as malicious intent.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Scripts are created,” Boutakidis said, and students pick up on teachers’ attitudes toward students, too. To help repair a struggling student’s reputation, try to set them up for success and praise them publicly.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>2. Distinguish between “funny, mean and in-between” comments\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys are more likely to make a comment like, “‘You’re such an idiot; I can’t believe I hang out with you’ – said while smiling and patting them on the back,” said \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/mitchprinstein\">Mitch Prinstein\u003c/a>, chief s\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">cience officer for the American Psychological Association\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “It’s a way to express vulnerability but also be dominant.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Joking can be misinterpreted and lead to fights,” added \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.mrhealthteacher.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Christopher Pepper\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a teacher who coordinates boys’ groups in San Francisco Public Schools. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">He encourages boys to “lean into sincerity rather than hide behind ‘can’t you take a joke?’” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/ryanwexelblatt\">Ryan Wexelblatt\u003c/a>, the director of ADHD Dude, which offers in-person \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.adhddude.com/social-programs\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">social skills programs\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> for boys in Tucson, Arizona, teaches boys that there are some things you shouldn’t joke about, such as\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> physical appearance and race.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When I teach health and wellness in schools, I have students act out comments like “Oh, you got a haircut” or “We already have enough players on our team,” then determine whether it’s “nice, mean or in-between.” They quickly realize that the same comment can be perceived as mean or inoffensive depending on someone’s word choice, tone and past interactions with you.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb style=\"font-size: 24px\">3. Provide structured social opportunities \u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Adults have to take responsibility for creating structured engagement with young folks,” said \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/darylhowardphd\">Daryl Howard\u003c/a>, director of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://bondeducators.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Building Our Network of Diversity (BOND) Project\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and chair of the Maryland department of education’s \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://marylandpublicschools.org/programs/Pages/AAEEBB/index.aspx\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Advisory Council on Achieving Academic Equity and Excellence for Black Boys\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When Howard facilitates BOND boys groups, he starts each session with a community circle “so no one can sit by themselves or play on devices.” The boys introduce themselves and share a personal update, with the goal of helping them find connection points so they can interact more comfortably on their own, he explained.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At Sterling Hall, a boys school in Toronto, Ontario, students can join a group tailored to their needs or sign up to eat lunch with a “mystery teacher,” said Catriona Gallienne, the school’s director of student success. All students start the day with a 30-minute period designated for social-emotional learning, such as an assembly, health class or community circles.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">During circle time, boys might talk about a challenge at home or express frustration over how teams are picked at recess, said Rick Parsons, principal of Sterling Hall. “Inevitably, someone will validate their experience or share, ‘This is what happened to me.’” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The circles normalize boys’ experiences and combat harmful stereotypes about needing to “go it alone,” said Andrew Reiner, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">author of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.harpercollins.com/products/better-boys-better-men-andrew-reiner\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “They see that they not only have permission to open up, but it’s going to be met with support.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>4. Help boys socialize informally\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys who feel awkward might opt out of recess, lunch and other unstructured social time. To ease their discomfort, schools can add Spikeball games or extra balls to outdoor areas, designate a board game table in the cafeteria, or hold chess club meetings during lunch.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“I tell elementary schools, ‘have a Lego cart outside,’ but some \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60253/play-is-crucial-for-middle-schoolers-too\">teenagers like that too\u003c/a>,” said \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/katiefhurley\">Katie Hurley\u003c/a>, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a child and adolescent psychotherapist and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://jedfoundation.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Jed Foundation’s\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> senior clinical adviser for external affairs.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">View spaces with an eye to optimizing interaction. For instance, Hurley visited a school where students gather on couches in the hallway.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>5. Recognize that some boys need more help\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some students may need more help understanding the unwritten rules of socializing, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61966/how-parents-can-help-children-with-adhd-thrive-in-friendships\">including boys with ADHD\u003c/a>. “Some kids with an inattentive profile are what I call the stick collectors,” Wexelblatt said. “They get caught up in their own world and walk around the perimeter collecting sticks.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys with an impulsive profile can be more emotionally reactive, he said. “They might think they’re being bullied, but other kids find them controlling or just don’t want to do what they’re doing.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Praise boys for being flexible or showing interest in peers’ ideas. Diaz prompts students to ponder questions such as\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, “How close do you stand to someone? How do you ask a question? What’s okay to ask?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>6. Make caring for others a shared responsibility\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At Sterling Hall, Parsons said, educators have a saying: “Big boys look out for themselves; bigger boys look out for others.” To that end, older students mentor younger students, and eighth-grade boys partner with younger students to paint a buddy bench on the playground. If a student has no one to play with, they sit on the buddy bench.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Every boy is responsible for making sure no one is sitting on the buddy bench,” Parsons explained, adding that no one sits there for more than 60 seconds. As he noted, “boys want to be leaders, to be good, to look out for others and to get affirmation for that. Belonging is everything.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://phyllisfagell.com/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Phyllis L. Fagell\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a licensed clinical professional counselor and professional school counselor, is the author of \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/phyllis-l-fagell/middle-school-matters/9780738235080/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Middle School Matters\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/phyllis-l-fagell/middle-school-superpowers/9780306829758/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/63456/6-ways-educators-can-bolster-boys-social-skills","authors":["byline_mindshift_63456"],"categories":["mindshift_21445","mindshift_194","mindshift_21385","mindshift_193"],"tags":["mindshift_20698","mindshift_21336","mindshift_20568","mindshift_21252","mindshift_943"],"featImg":"mindshift_63458","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_63148":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_63148","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"63148","score":null,"sort":[1709722854000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"creating-a-welcoming-environment-for-linguistically-diverse-families-of-students-in-special-education","title":"Creating a Welcoming Environment for Linguistically Diverse Families of Students in Special Education","publishDate":1709722854,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Creating a Welcoming Environment for Linguistically Diverse Families of Students in Special Education | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In her recent book, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://rowman.com/ISBN/9781538180365/Partnering-with-Culturally-and-Linguistically-Diverse-Families-in-Special-Education\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Partnering with Culturally and Linguistically Diverse Families in Special Education\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kristin Vogel-C\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">mpbell\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> notes the difficulties that parents of students with disabilities face when there is a language barrier. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.smfcsd.net/our-district/communication/news/default-board-post-page/~board/suptcommsboard-district-news/post/kristin-vogel-campbell-of-smfcsd-recognized-with-national-award-for-equity-in-education\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Vogel-Campbell\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a 20-year veteran of special education, has seen a higher level of agency, access and knowledge of the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/special-education\">special education system\u003c/a> among white and English-speaking parents of children with disabilities. Families that don’t fall into these identities often lack the social and cultural capital to effectively advocate for their children within a bureaucratic system. For example, families who have access to resources like attorneys or legal advocates may be better able to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/58633/this-is-not-inclusive-some-students-with-disabilities-are-going-without-as-districts-scale-back-virtual-programs\">ensure their children receive the special education services\u003c/a> they need. “There are free and low-cost advocacy and attorneys, but their bandwidth is totally spread thin,” Vogel-Campbell said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Additionally, even though all parents and families have the \u003ca href=\"https://sites.ed.gov/idea/regs/b/d/300.322/e\">right to qualified interpretation\u003c/a>, schools can have difficulty finding interpreters that can accurately convey academic language during meetings about a student’s individualized education plan (IEP). According to Vogel-Campbell, not providing proper interpretation services during communication between educators and parents can break trust and delay the implementation of an IEP.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Though not all of these issues are within individual educators’ control, when special education teachers recognize these barriers, they can \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED/status/1751597264210911576/photo/1\">think creatively\u003c/a> about how to connect with and support families who speak languages other than English. Jeremy Jarvi and Ben Simson, two special education teachers who work with Vogel-Campbell in California’s San Mateo-Foster City School District, shared some of their strategies for doing just that. From using Google Translate, to creating systems of outreach and advocacy, Jarvi, Simson and Vogel-Campbell are dedicated to fostering a welcoming environment for the families of students with disabilities. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Overcoming language barriers during the IEP process\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">According to Vogel-Campbell, the IEP process is very structured, and doesn’t provide parents an opportunity to share their specific hopes for their children. Language barriers and lack of trust can exacerbate this issue. For example, when a teacher makes eye contact only with an interpreter, rather than the parent, this doesn’t communicate respect towards the families of the students being discussed, said Vogel-Campbell.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">While Vogel-Campbell’s school district obtains Spanish interpreter services relatively quickly, and is required to offer no-cost interpretation for all non-English speaking parents, she said that it may take up to a month to coordinate an interpreter of languages less frequently spoken in the area. \u003c/span>Vogel-Campbell suggested that educators make small efforts throughout the school year to reach out to parents in their preferred language. For instance, teachers can introduce themselves or greet a family in their native language, even if the rest of the meeting relies on an interpreter. Doing so communicates respect and eagerness to connect with those parents, said Vogel-Campbell. She urged educators to recognize that even if parents don’t understand the dominant language spoken by the teacher it “doesn’t mean that they’re not a source of knowledge and information for their students.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Jarvi and Simson both regularly use \u003ca href=\"https://translate.google.com/\">Google translate\u003c/a> to communicate with non-English speaking parents. Jarvi, whose classroom consists of nine kindergarten through third graders with moderate to severe disabilities, tries to translate all IEPs using Google Translate. He said that translating it himself for parents is often faster than sending it through the district for a translation, which he said can take up to two weeks to complete. \u003ca href=\"https://edsource.org/2023/immigrant-parents-report-faulty-slow-translation-of-special-education-documents/700531\">Monthslong waits for IEP translations, as well as poor translations, are common across California\u003c/a>, according to EdSource. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Jarvi said that the longer parents have to wait for the IEP document, the more drawn out the process is for parental consent, signature and implementation. “We want it to have a quick turnaround for consent and implementation, because the longer it takes for the parent to consent, the less time the child has to meet the goals,” he said. Without an IEP signed by a parent, the educator has to continue curriculum based off of the most recently signed IEP, which can be a year out of date. The quicker special education teachers can sit down with parents with an agreed upon IEP, the less likely students are to fall behind in meeting their curriculum goals whether those are academic or functional life skills.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Communicating effectively with families\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Jarvi and Simson have implemented similar strategies to close the communication gap between themselves and their students’ parents. Simson, who works with middle school students, uses Google Translate to send and receive text messages and emails to and from parents. His classroom consists of families that speak English and Spanish. He tells parents that he has no problem translating on his end and he lets them take the lead on which language to use. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Jarvi also uses Google Translate as much as he can to communicate with parents of his students that might speak a primary language at home other than English. Over the years, he has worked with families who speak Khmer, Cambodian, Japanese and Spanish. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Continuing to build those relationships with parents, Simson approaches IEP meetings wondering how he can foster an authentic connection with the family to solidify the partnership between educator and parent. He also texts or calls parents every couple of days with positive news about their student and encourages parents to praise their children. If the student has an obstacle to overcome, Simson makes sure to collaborate with parents to come up with a redirection or constructive solution to the problem. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Teachers might interpret parental deference to educators’ ideas as disengagement, but in her book Vogel-Campbell highlighted a diversity of non-Western cultural beliefs that may shape parents’ interactions with the school system. She said it’s important to recognize those differences and emphasize ways that parents can advocate for their children in the U.S. education system. Jarvi, who often speaks with parents who are new to the IEP process, makes sure to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52468/helping-families-ask-questions-could-be-your-most-powerful-engagement-tool\">create lasting relationships with parents\u003c/a> in the hopes that they continue advocacy for their children after they leave his classroom. In his weekly communications home, he offers a variety of messaging styles from a traditional email to text messages that consist of a smiley face or frowny face. Although he said it can take some trial and error, Jarvi works to tailor his communication to a parent’s bandwidth and to smooth out any challenges.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Translation resources and multilingual services for families\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Vogel-Campbell also shared some resources that her district uses for communicating with families speaking different languages. One is \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.parentsquare.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parent Square\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a communication tool designed for use in K-12 education that educators, administrators and district officials use to translate memos into more than 100 languages. Some teachers in Vogel-Campbell’s district also use \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.remind.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Remind\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, an education communication platform with two-way texting translation capabilities. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If parents ask educators for resources regarding support and advocacy, Vogel-Campbell recommended the organization \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://supportforfamilies.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Support For Families\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, which is based in San Francisco but offers many online resources, such as introductions to different diagnoses. Vogel-Campbell also recommended connecting families to parent centers that offer multilingual services and resources to families of children with disabilities. Parent centers can be found by location at \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.parentcenterhub.org/find-your-center/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">https://www.parentcenterhub.org/find-your-center\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Vogel-Campbell’s district also has recently partnered with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.footsteps2brilliance.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Footsteps To Brilliance\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a bilingual app that can be used by families to continue literacy lessons at home.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"When teachers recognize the barriers for non-English-speaking families in special education, they can think creatively about outreach.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1712330187,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":18,"wordCount":1279},"headData":{"title":"Creating a Welcoming Environment for Linguistically Diverse Families of Students in Special Education | KQED","description":"When teachers recognize the barriers for non-English-speaking families in special education, they can think creatively about outreach.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"When teachers recognize the barriers for non-English-speaking families in special education, they can think creatively about outreach.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Creating a Welcoming Environment for Linguistically Diverse Families of Students in Special Education","datePublished":"2024-03-06T11:00:54.000Z","dateModified":"2024-04-05T15:16:27.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/63148/creating-a-welcoming-environment-for-linguistically-diverse-families-of-students-in-special-education","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In her recent book, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://rowman.com/ISBN/9781538180365/Partnering-with-Culturally-and-Linguistically-Diverse-Families-in-Special-Education\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Partnering with Culturally and Linguistically Diverse Families in Special Education\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kristin Vogel-C\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">mpbell\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> notes the difficulties that parents of students with disabilities face when there is a language barrier. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.smfcsd.net/our-district/communication/news/default-board-post-page/~board/suptcommsboard-district-news/post/kristin-vogel-campbell-of-smfcsd-recognized-with-national-award-for-equity-in-education\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Vogel-Campbell\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a 20-year veteran of special education, has seen a higher level of agency, access and knowledge of the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/special-education\">special education system\u003c/a> among white and English-speaking parents of children with disabilities. Families that don’t fall into these identities often lack the social and cultural capital to effectively advocate for their children within a bureaucratic system. For example, families who have access to resources like attorneys or legal advocates may be better able to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/58633/this-is-not-inclusive-some-students-with-disabilities-are-going-without-as-districts-scale-back-virtual-programs\">ensure their children receive the special education services\u003c/a> they need. “There are free and low-cost advocacy and attorneys, but their bandwidth is totally spread thin,” Vogel-Campbell said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Additionally, even though all parents and families have the \u003ca href=\"https://sites.ed.gov/idea/regs/b/d/300.322/e\">right to qualified interpretation\u003c/a>, schools can have difficulty finding interpreters that can accurately convey academic language during meetings about a student’s individualized education plan (IEP). According to Vogel-Campbell, not providing proper interpretation services during communication between educators and parents can break trust and delay the implementation of an IEP.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Though not all of these issues are within individual educators’ control, when special education teachers recognize these barriers, they can \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED/status/1751597264210911576/photo/1\">think creatively\u003c/a> about how to connect with and support families who speak languages other than English. Jeremy Jarvi and Ben Simson, two special education teachers who work with Vogel-Campbell in California’s San Mateo-Foster City School District, shared some of their strategies for doing just that. From using Google Translate, to creating systems of outreach and advocacy, Jarvi, Simson and Vogel-Campbell are dedicated to fostering a welcoming environment for the families of students with disabilities. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Overcoming language barriers during the IEP process\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">According to Vogel-Campbell, the IEP process is very structured, and doesn’t provide parents an opportunity to share their specific hopes for their children. Language barriers and lack of trust can exacerbate this issue. For example, when a teacher makes eye contact only with an interpreter, rather than the parent, this doesn’t communicate respect towards the families of the students being discussed, said Vogel-Campbell.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">While Vogel-Campbell’s school district obtains Spanish interpreter services relatively quickly, and is required to offer no-cost interpretation for all non-English speaking parents, she said that it may take up to a month to coordinate an interpreter of languages less frequently spoken in the area. \u003c/span>Vogel-Campbell suggested that educators make small efforts throughout the school year to reach out to parents in their preferred language. For instance, teachers can introduce themselves or greet a family in their native language, even if the rest of the meeting relies on an interpreter. Doing so communicates respect and eagerness to connect with those parents, said Vogel-Campbell. She urged educators to recognize that even if parents don’t understand the dominant language spoken by the teacher it “doesn’t mean that they’re not a source of knowledge and information for their students.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Jarvi and Simson both regularly use \u003ca href=\"https://translate.google.com/\">Google translate\u003c/a> to communicate with non-English speaking parents. Jarvi, whose classroom consists of nine kindergarten through third graders with moderate to severe disabilities, tries to translate all IEPs using Google Translate. He said that translating it himself for parents is often faster than sending it through the district for a translation, which he said can take up to two weeks to complete. \u003ca href=\"https://edsource.org/2023/immigrant-parents-report-faulty-slow-translation-of-special-education-documents/700531\">Monthslong waits for IEP translations, as well as poor translations, are common across California\u003c/a>, according to EdSource. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Jarvi said that the longer parents have to wait for the IEP document, the more drawn out the process is for parental consent, signature and implementation. “We want it to have a quick turnaround for consent and implementation, because the longer it takes for the parent to consent, the less time the child has to meet the goals,” he said. Without an IEP signed by a parent, the educator has to continue curriculum based off of the most recently signed IEP, which can be a year out of date. The quicker special education teachers can sit down with parents with an agreed upon IEP, the less likely students are to fall behind in meeting their curriculum goals whether those are academic or functional life skills.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Communicating effectively with families\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Jarvi and Simson have implemented similar strategies to close the communication gap between themselves and their students’ parents. Simson, who works with middle school students, uses Google Translate to send and receive text messages and emails to and from parents. His classroom consists of families that speak English and Spanish. He tells parents that he has no problem translating on his end and he lets them take the lead on which language to use. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Jarvi also uses Google Translate as much as he can to communicate with parents of his students that might speak a primary language at home other than English. Over the years, he has worked with families who speak Khmer, Cambodian, Japanese and Spanish. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Continuing to build those relationships with parents, Simson approaches IEP meetings wondering how he can foster an authentic connection with the family to solidify the partnership between educator and parent. He also texts or calls parents every couple of days with positive news about their student and encourages parents to praise their children. If the student has an obstacle to overcome, Simson makes sure to collaborate with parents to come up with a redirection or constructive solution to the problem. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Teachers might interpret parental deference to educators’ ideas as disengagement, but in her book Vogel-Campbell highlighted a diversity of non-Western cultural beliefs that may shape parents’ interactions with the school system. She said it’s important to recognize those differences and emphasize ways that parents can advocate for their children in the U.S. education system. Jarvi, who often speaks with parents who are new to the IEP process, makes sure to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52468/helping-families-ask-questions-could-be-your-most-powerful-engagement-tool\">create lasting relationships with parents\u003c/a> in the hopes that they continue advocacy for their children after they leave his classroom. In his weekly communications home, he offers a variety of messaging styles from a traditional email to text messages that consist of a smiley face or frowny face. Although he said it can take some trial and error, Jarvi works to tailor his communication to a parent’s bandwidth and to smooth out any challenges.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Translation resources and multilingual services for families\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Vogel-Campbell also shared some resources that her district uses for communicating with families speaking different languages. One is \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.parentsquare.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parent Square\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a communication tool designed for use in K-12 education that educators, administrators and district officials use to translate memos into more than 100 languages. Some teachers in Vogel-Campbell’s district also use \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.remind.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Remind\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, an education communication platform with two-way texting translation capabilities. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If parents ask educators for resources regarding support and advocacy, Vogel-Campbell recommended the organization \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://supportforfamilies.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Support For Families\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, which is based in San Francisco but offers many online resources, such as introductions to different diagnoses. Vogel-Campbell also recommended connecting families to parent centers that offer multilingual services and resources to families of children with disabilities. Parent centers can be found by location at \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.parentcenterhub.org/find-your-center/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">https://www.parentcenterhub.org/find-your-center\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Vogel-Campbell’s district also has recently partnered with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.footsteps2brilliance.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Footsteps To Brilliance\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a bilingual app that can be used by families to continue literacy lessons at home.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/63148/creating-a-welcoming-environment-for-linguistically-diverse-families-of-students-in-special-education","authors":["11759"],"categories":["mindshift_21512","mindshift_21385","mindshift_21579","mindshift_193"],"tags":["mindshift_21250","mindshift_21036","mindshift_21471","mindshift_21718","mindshift_20851","mindshift_397","mindshift_21416","mindshift_21707","mindshift_21230","mindshift_163","mindshift_231","mindshift_20934"],"featImg":"mindshift_63153","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_63184":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_63184","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"63184","score":null,"sort":[1709636433000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"when-parents-know-these-4-phases-of-friendship-they-can-help-their-child-make-friends-more-easily","title":"When Parents Know These 4 phases of Friendship, They Can Help Their Child Make Friends More Easily","publishDate":1709636433,"format":"standard","headTitle":"When Parents Know These 4 phases of Friendship, They Can Help Their Child Make Friends More Easily | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>Excerpted from \u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/dr-stephen-nowicki/raising-a-socially-successful-child/9780316516471/\">Raising a Socially Successful Child\u003c/a> by Stephen Nowicki. Copyright © 2024 by Stephen Nowicki. Used with permission of Little, Brown Spark, an imprint of Little, Brown and Company. New York, NY. All rights reserved.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When your child is younger, you as a parent have a lot of control over his social life, selecting whom he should interact with, the length of the interaction and where the interaction takes place. That changes when your child reaches school age. Suddenly, these decisions — with whom to be friends, how much time to spend with a friend and how to spend that time together — are made largely on his own (though teachers may also play an important role). School is a place where children \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/56979/what-the-research-says-about-the-academic-power-of-friendship\">can begin to form rewarding friendships\u003c/a>, but it is also a place where children \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57010/how-understanding-middle-school-friendships-can-help-students\">can experience rejection and isolation\u003c/a>, often because of nonverbal messages they are unwittingly sending and erroneously reading.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-63188 alignleft\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-800x1238.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"230\" height=\"356\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-800x1238.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-1020x1579.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-160x248.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-768x1189.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-992x1536.jpg 992w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-1323x2048.jpg 1323w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-scaled.jpg 1654w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 230px) 100vw, 230px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From the late childhood phase on, any friendship a child forms follows a pattern. And this sequence, which my colleague Marshall Duke and I first codified back in the 1980s, provides a template for the relationships those children will form as adults: children \u003cem>choose \u003c/em>a likely candidate for friendship, they \u003cem>initiate\u003c/em> the relationship, they \u003cem>deepen \u003c/em>the relationship and lastly, they go through a relationship \u003cem>transition \u003c/em>when the social occasion, school day, week, semester or year ends. Each of these phases of the relationship requires the use of nonverbal and verbal language skills — but some skills play a more important role in certain phases than in others. Understanding the patterns by which late childhood friendships form and develop can help you identify where your child is doing well and where he may need to learn more in order to connect meaningfully with others.\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>1. Choosing\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The choice phase is where every relationship begins. Research shows that a child’s decision about whom he’s going to befriend usually takes place in a matter of seconds. This means that children are using information gathered from nonverbal cues in clothing, facial expressions and posture to decide to approach another child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ideally, when parents of very young children make these choices for them, they will share the reasons for their choices with their children. For example, when \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61966/how-parents-can-help-children-with-adhd-thrive-in-friendships\">inviting a child for a playdate\u003c/a>, the parent could say something like, “I think you are going to have a good time with Ravi. She always listens to me and shares her playthings with you.” Not only does this sharing of information help children understand their parents’ choices, but it also tells the children what is expected of them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By the time your child reaches school age, then, he should already have some sense of how to choose a friend. You can imagine him faced with a schoolyard filled with children he doesn’t know on the first day of school. He wants to find someone to play with. Over to his left, a few boys are playing ball and a ball comes loose and rolls toward him. A boy in a Green Bay Packers cap runs after the ball, picks it up and smiles. In that friendly smile, your child senses an invitation. He smiles back and begins walking toward the boy wearing the Packers cap. He has chosen to make a new friend.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>2. Initiating\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The initiation phase is what happens next. Your child follows his new friend as he joins the three other boys playing ball. He waits until there’s a break in what is going on. “Hi,” he says with a smile. “Can I join in?” The other boys introduce themselves quickly and your child says, “I’m a Packer Backer too. I’ve got a Packers cap at home. I’ll wear it tomorrow.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The boy with the Packers cap says, “Remember when they won that game when it was a million degrees below zero?” Your child excitedly comments about how the field was like ice, and soon there are five boys happily playing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For a five-year-old meeting new peers for the first time on a playground, even a seemingly simple interaction like this one is a difficult task involving both nonverbal and verbal behaviors: Your child waited patiently and, sensing the rhythm of the game, chose the right moment to cut in. He didn’t intrude on their game, showing his respect for their personal space. When he did introduce himself, he smiled warmly and made eye contact. Then he made “small talk” before he asked to join in. I think we all can imagine many ways that the interaction could have gone much less successfully than it did.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The initiation phase is when the real give-and-take of social information through nonverbal and verbal channels gets under way. Your child is in uncharted relationship waters now. For the first time, he is running his own show and it is up to him to get this potential relationship off to a successful start.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>3. Deepening\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Over time, if all goes well, your child’s friendships will deepen in ways that would have been all but impossible in the earlier phases of development, in which friendships are usually fleeting and revolve around a shared activity. Hallmarks of a deepening relationship include trust, self- disclosure, acceptance and mutual understanding. As C. S. Lewis put it: Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The process of deepening a friendship involves a lot of give- and- take, much of it nonverbal; when one person speaks, the other responds not only through their words but through facial expressions, body language and tone of voice as well. Your child will disclose something about himself, then look to his friend to gauge the reaction. If the friend nods, smiles or makes encouraging gestures, your child will know to keep going. As children spend more and more time together, they become increasingly attuned to the nonverbal cues that communicate what the other is thinking or feeling. They begin to inhabit the same physical space and share the same rhythms and can often be seen hugging or walking arm in arm, with smiles on their faces.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>4. Transitioning\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>While deepening a relationship can be hard work for some kids, virtually all children will struggle with \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61082/how-grown-ups-can-help-kids-transition-to-post-pandemic-school-life\">handling relationship transitions positively\u003c/a>. In late childhood, these transitions happen more often than you may be aware: at the end of the school day or a playdate, for example. Sometimes the transition is more intense, such as the end of the school year or the Little League season or the last day of camp. Other times a transition in a friendship happens when a child has to move to a new town or school. And of course, there are times when one or both children actively decide not to continue the friendship, whether it’s over some fight or disagreement or the friendship simply having run its course.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Although transitions can sometimes be painful, it’s important to remember that each transition can also be a new beginning. Even as adults, transitions can make us uncomfortable, so we often rush through them as quickly as possible, without considering the unique information the experience can offer us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Picture two ten-year-old girls, Gina and Ilana, on the last day of school. These friends sat next to each other during class for the whole school year because their last names both begin with \u003cem>M. \u003c/em>While not “best-best friends,” their bond has deepened over the course of the school year, and they are sad they probably won’t see much of each other over the summer. As they clean out their desks, they talk about the past school year. They remember how they were so shy with each other at first. They reminisce about the science fair, field day and other memorable events leading up to this the final day of school. Not all the times were fun, though, they admit. There were disagreements, and they both remember a particularly bad one during field day, when Ilana didn’t choose Gina for her team.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When their desks are cleaned out and have passed the teacher’s inspection, it’s time to leave. Each girl reaches sheepishly into her book bag and retrieves the present that they bought for the other. They hold hands as they walk out to their separate school buses. It’s time to part ways. Usually, their exchanges with each other are lively, but today they are much quieter and more subdued, which makes their goodbye hugs more meaningful. In hushed tones, they tell each other to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61888/4-parenting-priorities-to-prevent-mental-health-summer-slide\">have a good summer\u003c/a>. Transitioning is the point in the life of a relationship when you can help your child look back and see discernable patterns in how the relationship developed. Reflecting how she chose, began and deepened her ties with another person can yield valuable lessons that can be applied to the next set of relationships. And the more complex and important the relationship, the more she can learn from it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-63187\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/fcB04_7m-160x240.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"240\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/fcB04_7m-160x240.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/fcB04_7m.jpg 576w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003cem>Stephen Nowicki is the Charles Howard Candler Professor of Psychology Emeritus at Emory University, where he has served as director of clinical training, head of the psychological center and head of the counseling center. Nowicki maintains an active clinical practice as a diplomate in psychology.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Childhood friendships involve four distinct phases: choosing, initiating, deepening and transitioning. Each phase plays a role in the development of social connections.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1712104667,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":20,"wordCount":1606},"headData":{"title":"When Parents Know These 4 phases of Friendship, They Can Help Their Child Make Friends More Easily | KQED","description":"Choosing, initiating, deepening and transitioning — each of these phases plays a role in the development of social connections.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"Choosing, initiating, deepening and transitioning — each of these phases plays a role in the development of social connections.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"When Parents Know These 4 phases of Friendship, They Can Help Their Child Make Friends More Easily","datePublished":"2024-03-05T11:00:33.000Z","dateModified":"2024-04-03T00:37:47.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/63184/when-parents-know-these-4-phases-of-friendship-they-can-help-their-child-make-friends-more-easily","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Excerpted from \u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/dr-stephen-nowicki/raising-a-socially-successful-child/9780316516471/\">Raising a Socially Successful Child\u003c/a> by Stephen Nowicki. Copyright © 2024 by Stephen Nowicki. Used with permission of Little, Brown Spark, an imprint of Little, Brown and Company. New York, NY. All rights reserved.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When your child is younger, you as a parent have a lot of control over his social life, selecting whom he should interact with, the length of the interaction and where the interaction takes place. That changes when your child reaches school age. Suddenly, these decisions — with whom to be friends, how much time to spend with a friend and how to spend that time together — are made largely on his own (though teachers may also play an important role). School is a place where children \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/56979/what-the-research-says-about-the-academic-power-of-friendship\">can begin to form rewarding friendships\u003c/a>, but it is also a place where children \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57010/how-understanding-middle-school-friendships-can-help-students\">can experience rejection and isolation\u003c/a>, often because of nonverbal messages they are unwittingly sending and erroneously reading.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-63188 alignleft\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-800x1238.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"230\" height=\"356\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-800x1238.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-1020x1579.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-160x248.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-768x1189.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-992x1536.jpg 992w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-1323x2048.jpg 1323w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/KyizpEjm-scaled.jpg 1654w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 230px) 100vw, 230px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From the late childhood phase on, any friendship a child forms follows a pattern. And this sequence, which my colleague Marshall Duke and I first codified back in the 1980s, provides a template for the relationships those children will form as adults: children \u003cem>choose \u003c/em>a likely candidate for friendship, they \u003cem>initiate\u003c/em> the relationship, they \u003cem>deepen \u003c/em>the relationship and lastly, they go through a relationship \u003cem>transition \u003c/em>when the social occasion, school day, week, semester or year ends. Each of these phases of the relationship requires the use of nonverbal and verbal language skills — but some skills play a more important role in certain phases than in others. Understanding the patterns by which late childhood friendships form and develop can help you identify where your child is doing well and where he may need to learn more in order to connect meaningfully with others.\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>1. Choosing\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The choice phase is where every relationship begins. Research shows that a child’s decision about whom he’s going to befriend usually takes place in a matter of seconds. This means that children are using information gathered from nonverbal cues in clothing, facial expressions and posture to decide to approach another child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ideally, when parents of very young children make these choices for them, they will share the reasons for their choices with their children. For example, when \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61966/how-parents-can-help-children-with-adhd-thrive-in-friendships\">inviting a child for a playdate\u003c/a>, the parent could say something like, “I think you are going to have a good time with Ravi. She always listens to me and shares her playthings with you.” Not only does this sharing of information help children understand their parents’ choices, but it also tells the children what is expected of them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By the time your child reaches school age, then, he should already have some sense of how to choose a friend. You can imagine him faced with a schoolyard filled with children he doesn’t know on the first day of school. He wants to find someone to play with. Over to his left, a few boys are playing ball and a ball comes loose and rolls toward him. A boy in a Green Bay Packers cap runs after the ball, picks it up and smiles. In that friendly smile, your child senses an invitation. He smiles back and begins walking toward the boy wearing the Packers cap. He has chosen to make a new friend.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>2. Initiating\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The initiation phase is what happens next. Your child follows his new friend as he joins the three other boys playing ball. He waits until there’s a break in what is going on. “Hi,” he says with a smile. “Can I join in?” The other boys introduce themselves quickly and your child says, “I’m a Packer Backer too. I’ve got a Packers cap at home. I’ll wear it tomorrow.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The boy with the Packers cap says, “Remember when they won that game when it was a million degrees below zero?” Your child excitedly comments about how the field was like ice, and soon there are five boys happily playing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For a five-year-old meeting new peers for the first time on a playground, even a seemingly simple interaction like this one is a difficult task involving both nonverbal and verbal behaviors: Your child waited patiently and, sensing the rhythm of the game, chose the right moment to cut in. He didn’t intrude on their game, showing his respect for their personal space. When he did introduce himself, he smiled warmly and made eye contact. Then he made “small talk” before he asked to join in. I think we all can imagine many ways that the interaction could have gone much less successfully than it did.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The initiation phase is when the real give-and-take of social information through nonverbal and verbal channels gets under way. Your child is in uncharted relationship waters now. For the first time, he is running his own show and it is up to him to get this potential relationship off to a successful start.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>3. Deepening\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Over time, if all goes well, your child’s friendships will deepen in ways that would have been all but impossible in the earlier phases of development, in which friendships are usually fleeting and revolve around a shared activity. Hallmarks of a deepening relationship include trust, self- disclosure, acceptance and mutual understanding. As C. S. Lewis put it: Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The process of deepening a friendship involves a lot of give- and- take, much of it nonverbal; when one person speaks, the other responds not only through their words but through facial expressions, body language and tone of voice as well. Your child will disclose something about himself, then look to his friend to gauge the reaction. If the friend nods, smiles or makes encouraging gestures, your child will know to keep going. As children spend more and more time together, they become increasingly attuned to the nonverbal cues that communicate what the other is thinking or feeling. They begin to inhabit the same physical space and share the same rhythms and can often be seen hugging or walking arm in arm, with smiles on their faces.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>4. Transitioning\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>While deepening a relationship can be hard work for some kids, virtually all children will struggle with \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61082/how-grown-ups-can-help-kids-transition-to-post-pandemic-school-life\">handling relationship transitions positively\u003c/a>. In late childhood, these transitions happen more often than you may be aware: at the end of the school day or a playdate, for example. Sometimes the transition is more intense, such as the end of the school year or the Little League season or the last day of camp. Other times a transition in a friendship happens when a child has to move to a new town or school. And of course, there are times when one or both children actively decide not to continue the friendship, whether it’s over some fight or disagreement or the friendship simply having run its course.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Although transitions can sometimes be painful, it’s important to remember that each transition can also be a new beginning. Even as adults, transitions can make us uncomfortable, so we often rush through them as quickly as possible, without considering the unique information the experience can offer us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Picture two ten-year-old girls, Gina and Ilana, on the last day of school. These friends sat next to each other during class for the whole school year because their last names both begin with \u003cem>M. \u003c/em>While not “best-best friends,” their bond has deepened over the course of the school year, and they are sad they probably won’t see much of each other over the summer. As they clean out their desks, they talk about the past school year. They remember how they were so shy with each other at first. They reminisce about the science fair, field day and other memorable events leading up to this the final day of school. Not all the times were fun, though, they admit. There were disagreements, and they both remember a particularly bad one during field day, when Ilana didn’t choose Gina for her team.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When their desks are cleaned out and have passed the teacher’s inspection, it’s time to leave. Each girl reaches sheepishly into her book bag and retrieves the present that they bought for the other. They hold hands as they walk out to their separate school buses. It’s time to part ways. Usually, their exchanges with each other are lively, but today they are much quieter and more subdued, which makes their goodbye hugs more meaningful. In hushed tones, they tell each other to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61888/4-parenting-priorities-to-prevent-mental-health-summer-slide\">have a good summer\u003c/a>. Transitioning is the point in the life of a relationship when you can help your child look back and see discernable patterns in how the relationship developed. Reflecting how she chose, began and deepened her ties with another person can yield valuable lessons that can be applied to the next set of relationships. And the more complex and important the relationship, the more she can learn from it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-63187\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/fcB04_7m-160x240.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"240\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/fcB04_7m-160x240.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/fcB04_7m.jpg 576w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003cem>Stephen Nowicki is the Charles Howard Candler Professor of Psychology Emeritus at Emory University, where he has served as director of clinical training, head of the psychological center and head of the counseling center. Nowicki maintains an active clinical practice as a diplomate in psychology.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/63184/when-parents-know-these-4-phases-of-friendship-they-can-help-their-child-make-friends-more-easily","authors":["4354"],"categories":["mindshift_21512","mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_21250","mindshift_21488","mindshift_21036","mindshift_21336","mindshift_20568","mindshift_290","mindshift_498","mindshift_21565","mindshift_21134","mindshift_21213","mindshift_943","mindshift_20719"],"featImg":"mindshift_63186","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_63086":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_63086","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"63086","score":null,"sort":[1708426854000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"when-family-tree-projects-frustrate-students-community-maps-are-an-inclusive-alternative","title":"When family tree projects frustrate students, community maps are an inclusive alternative","publishDate":1708426854,"format":"standard","headTitle":"When family tree projects frustrate students, community maps are an inclusive alternative | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>From \u003ca href=\"https://www.routledge.com/Nourishing-Caregiver-Collaborations-Elevating-Home-Experiences-and-Classroom/Qarooni/p/book/9781625316196\">\u003ci>Nourishing Caregiver Collaborations: Elevating Home Experiences and Classroom Practices for Collective Care\u003c/i>\u003c/a> by Nawal Qarooni © 2024 by \u003ca href=\"http://www.routledge.com/stenhouse-publishing.\">Stenhouse Publishers/Taylor & Francis\u003c/a>. Reproduced with permission.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-63202\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/nawal-160x201.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"201\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/nawal-160x201.jpeg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/nawal.jpeg 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\">No doubt, you’re familiar with the traditional family tree project. My own kids come home with these year after year, a stenciled outline that they need to fill in with great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, and siblings. For my children, being raised in a two-parent household with strong connections to both sets of grandparents, this has been a fine project that goes fairly smoothly in each instance. A few phone calls to Mama Mahnaz and Abuelo get them the names of family members from Iran and Puerto Rico that they need. But as we know, all families are different. These family tree projects have the potential to be both frustrating for students and alienating to their caregivers. When I spoke with longtime educator and school leader Nefertari Nkenge, she shared such an example of frustration about her daughter’s experience, particularly around a “normed expectation of who lives in the house.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It would have just been Mom and her. But she made it about 12 brothers and sisters, and that made me grin. The teacher interrogated her and made her feel some kind of way. Jendayi considered her godsiblings who spend the night; I’m Mama Nefertari to all these children; my daughter calls their mothers Aunties — so she’s listing names. The teacher says, these are your siblings? The teacher just couldn’t understand.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A more \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62672/using-picture-books-and-classroom-dialogue-to-honor-and-respect-students-name\">inclusive and culturally sustaining approach\u003c/a> would replace these experiences of othering and frustration. Nefertari contended: “Our family experiences — verbal tradition as an African people — it’s not something that’s going to be captured in a paper-and-pencil family tree. Nor is the respect we give our non-blood relatives, many of whom are elders we learn from. It would never get the depth of what I shared now, or what my daughter understood in the third grade. To visualize and draw illustrations of experiences with this large family — even though it’s just the two of us — it needs the narrative for us. For Black and Brown people, for you to see the depth of what we’re describing . . . in the end, I wanted to communicate: see how rich the narrative is in who we are? That is never captured in literacy assignments in schools, nor is it captured in the ways we give credence to it in our own traditional way.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Black, Brown and Indigenous communities, especially, have longstanding and deep understandings of the importance of the collective and, furthermore, the far-reaching relational ties that shape knowledge of ourselves and who we are. \u003ca href=\"https://www.nahwilet.com/\">Indigenous scholar\u003c/a> Shelbi Nahwilet Meissner \u003ca href=\"https://drive.google.com/file/d/191twpmym1vKaLhqsF1DLnVgjBKsFkFs4/view\">writes\u003c/a>, “Kinship, as conceived of by Indigenous scholars, does not refer merely to hetero-nuclear families or biological relatives (\u003ca href=\"https://uwethicsofcare.gws.wisc.edu/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/TallBear-Making-Love-and-Relations-Beyond-Settler-Sex-and-Family.pdf\">TallBear 2018\u003c/a>; \u003ca href=\"https://kylewhyte.seas.umich.edu/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Time-as-Kinship-April-2021.pdf\">Whyte 2021\u003c/a>). Rather, ‘kinship’ is used to describe the relationships between all entities that share responsibilities for one another.” And also, “Indigenous conceptions of kinship expand beyond Western conceptions of family and include relationships among humans, non-humans, animals, plants and spirits — these relationships inform Indigenous knowledge systems.” We can learn from these \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62784/how-incorporating-indigenous-knowledge-can-deepen-outdoor-education\">deeply rooted ways of being\u003c/a>. If we are to honor all families and their ways of being, we must design curricular activities with collective inclusivity in mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-63087\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture1-160x186.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"215\" height=\"250\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture1-160x186.png 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture1.png 354w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 215px) 100vw, 215px\">I imagine the objective of the original family tree exercise was never to fill in box after box in rote fashion but to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62762/how-parents-can-help-their-kids-feel-seen\">foster curiosity among children and conversation with their elders\u003c/a> around history, connection and contribution. An alternative that acknowledges a more nuanced reality of family structures, while, at the same time, speaking to a broader collective behind every child, would be a free-form community map, taking the same concept of illustrating connections between the child and those who have an impact on their lives, while still eliciting conversation between the students and adults around the history of connections. Community maps can thoughtfully tease out a literacy ideal we all appreciate, weaving a textured tapestry of unique individuals with myriad experiences toward a greater collective that is inherently beautiful \u003cem>because \u003c/em>of its nuances.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-63088\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture2-160x121.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"151\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture2-160x121.png 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture2.png 437w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">Some people who have played an enormous role in raising me would never have shown up on a traditional family tree graphic organizer. Amu Hamid, with his ceaseless guidance, unending support and unconditional love, wouldn’t have had a place on a simple stencil, because he was my father’s sister’s husband. But the reality is, he was one of the people who raised me. I was one of his daughters. He piloted my daily decision making with compassion, care, and experience. If I were a student able to design the outline of my adult community, he would’ve shown up as the family giant.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To get started with community map projects, you might offer students and their caregivers an open-ended set of ideas along with a few quick parameters and find this is plenty to inspire a variety of individual products. Leaving the process open allows for families to cocreate and coimagine with their children. And, when they share their final projects, I often marvel at folks’ oohing and ahhing, which almost always results in an even greater degree of imaginative iterating and dreaming of interesting projects further down the line. I generally make the following suggestions and leave the rest to them:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Visually represent the people in your collective who support you.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>You’re welcome to use a tree form to guide you, but feel free to diverge from that template to represent your loved ones in the way that makes most sense to you.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Draw connections between the people in your life using visuals.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Just as my Amu Hamid had superhero-like individual strengths that contributed to our family collective as a whole, as students and their caregivers work on this project, invite them to highlight how different individuals have made them stronger together with prompts like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Who is this person to me?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>What makes them unique?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>What talents do they bring to our family/group/community?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>How does having them with us bring us closer and make us stronger?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>What might our collective look like if we were missing this person’s contributions?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>How did our loved ones who have passed contribute meaning to our family? How did they shape us? How might we keep their legacies alive?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>How do we ensure their memories are a continued blessing?\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Dream big here. \u003ca href=\"https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ScL1FxV4mGoavHwFZI8Zs22Ntj5SYjK-LXlQbKYDIOU/edit?usp=sharing\">Read aloud from books where families look different\u003c/a>. Prompt children to share with peers before brainstorming on paper. In one second-grade Chicago classroom, students discarded the tree image altogether and, instead, talked about who grows in their hearts after their teacher mentioned all the different contributors to her garden: bees, flowers, weeds, birds. All of those elements contribute to and nurture the garden’s vibrancy, just like all of the people in our hearts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These community maps can even be co-constructed with caregivers or orchestrated as a collaborative family project in schools, which is particularly impactful with siblings in multiple grades. They can begin on family literacy nights and end in a cumulative showcase, or they can be smaller-scale and more personal in nature. Either way, the conversations that ensue as a result of creating community maps are invaluable representations of a literacy ideal that ultimately frames much of what we aim to accomplish as teachers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cspan style=\"color: #212529;background: white\">Nawal Qarooni is a Jersey City-based educator, writer and adjunct professor who supports a holistic approach to literacy instruction and family experiences in schools across the country. Drawing on her work as an inquiry-based leader, mother and proud daughter of immigrants, Nawal’s pedagogy is centered in the rich and authentic\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-63089 alignleft\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture3.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"279\" height=\"175\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture3.png 637w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture3-160x100.png 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 279px) 100vw, 279px\"> learning all families gift their children every day. She and her team of coaches at NQC Literacy work with schools and districts to collectively grow teacher practice and children’s literacy lives. In addition, she is a member of the National Council for Teachers of English Committee Against Racism and Bias in the Teaching of English; she evaluates manuscripts for Reese Witherspoon’s LitUp program, which platforms historically underrepresented voices in publishing; and she serves on the Library of Congress Literacy Awards Advisory Board, which funds powerful literacy programming across the country. Nawal holds a Bachelor of English from the University of Michigan, a Master of Teaching from Brooklyn College and a Master of Journalism from Syracuse University’s Newhouse School. She won a New Jersey Press Association Award for her international reporting and transitioned into education as a New York City Teaching Fellow.\u003c/span>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Family tree projects can alienate students from diverse family structures. Author Nawal Qarooni offers a more inclusive and culturally sustaining approach.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1708390288,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":14,"wordCount":1479},"headData":{"title":"When family tree projects frustrate students, community maps are an inclusive alternative | KQED","description":"Family tree projects can alienate students from diverse family structures. Nawal Qarooni offers a more inclusive and culturally sustaining approach.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"Family tree projects can alienate students from diverse family structures. Nawal Qarooni offers a more inclusive and culturally sustaining approach.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"When family tree projects frustrate students, community maps are an inclusive alternative","datePublished":"2024-02-20T11:00:54.000Z","dateModified":"2024-02-20T00:51:28.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/63086/when-family-tree-projects-frustrate-students-community-maps-are-an-inclusive-alternative","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>From \u003ca href=\"https://www.routledge.com/Nourishing-Caregiver-Collaborations-Elevating-Home-Experiences-and-Classroom/Qarooni/p/book/9781625316196\">\u003ci>Nourishing Caregiver Collaborations: Elevating Home Experiences and Classroom Practices for Collective Care\u003c/i>\u003c/a> by Nawal Qarooni © 2024 by \u003ca href=\"http://www.routledge.com/stenhouse-publishing.\">Stenhouse Publishers/Taylor & Francis\u003c/a>. Reproduced with permission.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-63202\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/nawal-160x201.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"201\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/nawal-160x201.jpeg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/nawal.jpeg 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\">No doubt, you’re familiar with the traditional family tree project. My own kids come home with these year after year, a stenciled outline that they need to fill in with great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, and siblings. For my children, being raised in a two-parent household with strong connections to both sets of grandparents, this has been a fine project that goes fairly smoothly in each instance. A few phone calls to Mama Mahnaz and Abuelo get them the names of family members from Iran and Puerto Rico that they need. But as we know, all families are different. These family tree projects have the potential to be both frustrating for students and alienating to their caregivers. When I spoke with longtime educator and school leader Nefertari Nkenge, she shared such an example of frustration about her daughter’s experience, particularly around a “normed expectation of who lives in the house.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It would have just been Mom and her. But she made it about 12 brothers and sisters, and that made me grin. The teacher interrogated her and made her feel some kind of way. Jendayi considered her godsiblings who spend the night; I’m Mama Nefertari to all these children; my daughter calls their mothers Aunties — so she’s listing names. The teacher says, these are your siblings? The teacher just couldn’t understand.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A more \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62672/using-picture-books-and-classroom-dialogue-to-honor-and-respect-students-name\">inclusive and culturally sustaining approach\u003c/a> would replace these experiences of othering and frustration. Nefertari contended: “Our family experiences — verbal tradition as an African people — it’s not something that’s going to be captured in a paper-and-pencil family tree. Nor is the respect we give our non-blood relatives, many of whom are elders we learn from. It would never get the depth of what I shared now, or what my daughter understood in the third grade. To visualize and draw illustrations of experiences with this large family — even though it’s just the two of us — it needs the narrative for us. For Black and Brown people, for you to see the depth of what we’re describing . . . in the end, I wanted to communicate: see how rich the narrative is in who we are? That is never captured in literacy assignments in schools, nor is it captured in the ways we give credence to it in our own traditional way.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Black, Brown and Indigenous communities, especially, have longstanding and deep understandings of the importance of the collective and, furthermore, the far-reaching relational ties that shape knowledge of ourselves and who we are. \u003ca href=\"https://www.nahwilet.com/\">Indigenous scholar\u003c/a> Shelbi Nahwilet Meissner \u003ca href=\"https://drive.google.com/file/d/191twpmym1vKaLhqsF1DLnVgjBKsFkFs4/view\">writes\u003c/a>, “Kinship, as conceived of by Indigenous scholars, does not refer merely to hetero-nuclear families or biological relatives (\u003ca href=\"https://uwethicsofcare.gws.wisc.edu/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/TallBear-Making-Love-and-Relations-Beyond-Settler-Sex-and-Family.pdf\">TallBear 2018\u003c/a>; \u003ca href=\"https://kylewhyte.seas.umich.edu/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Time-as-Kinship-April-2021.pdf\">Whyte 2021\u003c/a>). Rather, ‘kinship’ is used to describe the relationships between all entities that share responsibilities for one another.” And also, “Indigenous conceptions of kinship expand beyond Western conceptions of family and include relationships among humans, non-humans, animals, plants and spirits — these relationships inform Indigenous knowledge systems.” We can learn from these \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62784/how-incorporating-indigenous-knowledge-can-deepen-outdoor-education\">deeply rooted ways of being\u003c/a>. If we are to honor all families and their ways of being, we must design curricular activities with collective inclusivity in mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-63087\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture1-160x186.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"215\" height=\"250\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture1-160x186.png 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture1.png 354w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 215px) 100vw, 215px\">I imagine the objective of the original family tree exercise was never to fill in box after box in rote fashion but to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62762/how-parents-can-help-their-kids-feel-seen\">foster curiosity among children and conversation with their elders\u003c/a> around history, connection and contribution. An alternative that acknowledges a more nuanced reality of family structures, while, at the same time, speaking to a broader collective behind every child, would be a free-form community map, taking the same concept of illustrating connections between the child and those who have an impact on their lives, while still eliciting conversation between the students and adults around the history of connections. Community maps can thoughtfully tease out a literacy ideal we all appreciate, weaving a textured tapestry of unique individuals with myriad experiences toward a greater collective that is inherently beautiful \u003cem>because \u003c/em>of its nuances.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-63088\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture2-160x121.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"151\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture2-160x121.png 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture2.png 437w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">Some people who have played an enormous role in raising me would never have shown up on a traditional family tree graphic organizer. Amu Hamid, with his ceaseless guidance, unending support and unconditional love, wouldn’t have had a place on a simple stencil, because he was my father’s sister’s husband. But the reality is, he was one of the people who raised me. I was one of his daughters. He piloted my daily decision making with compassion, care, and experience. If I were a student able to design the outline of my adult community, he would’ve shown up as the family giant.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To get started with community map projects, you might offer students and their caregivers an open-ended set of ideas along with a few quick parameters and find this is plenty to inspire a variety of individual products. Leaving the process open allows for families to cocreate and coimagine with their children. And, when they share their final projects, I often marvel at folks’ oohing and ahhing, which almost always results in an even greater degree of imaginative iterating and dreaming of interesting projects further down the line. I generally make the following suggestions and leave the rest to them:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Visually represent the people in your collective who support you.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>You’re welcome to use a tree form to guide you, but feel free to diverge from that template to represent your loved ones in the way that makes most sense to you.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Draw connections between the people in your life using visuals.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Just as my Amu Hamid had superhero-like individual strengths that contributed to our family collective as a whole, as students and their caregivers work on this project, invite them to highlight how different individuals have made them stronger together with prompts like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Who is this person to me?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>What makes them unique?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>What talents do they bring to our family/group/community?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>How does having them with us bring us closer and make us stronger?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>What might our collective look like if we were missing this person’s contributions?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>How did our loved ones who have passed contribute meaning to our family? How did they shape us? How might we keep their legacies alive?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>How do we ensure their memories are a continued blessing?\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Dream big here. \u003ca href=\"https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ScL1FxV4mGoavHwFZI8Zs22Ntj5SYjK-LXlQbKYDIOU/edit?usp=sharing\">Read aloud from books where families look different\u003c/a>. Prompt children to share with peers before brainstorming on paper. In one second-grade Chicago classroom, students discarded the tree image altogether and, instead, talked about who grows in their hearts after their teacher mentioned all the different contributors to her garden: bees, flowers, weeds, birds. All of those elements contribute to and nurture the garden’s vibrancy, just like all of the people in our hearts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These community maps can even be co-constructed with caregivers or orchestrated as a collaborative family project in schools, which is particularly impactful with siblings in multiple grades. They can begin on family literacy nights and end in a cumulative showcase, or they can be smaller-scale and more personal in nature. Either way, the conversations that ensue as a result of creating community maps are invaluable representations of a literacy ideal that ultimately frames much of what we aim to accomplish as teachers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cspan style=\"color: #212529;background: white\">Nawal Qarooni is a Jersey City-based educator, writer and adjunct professor who supports a holistic approach to literacy instruction and family experiences in schools across the country. Drawing on her work as an inquiry-based leader, mother and proud daughter of immigrants, Nawal’s pedagogy is centered in the rich and authentic\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-63089 alignleft\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture3.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"279\" height=\"175\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture3.png 637w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2024/02/Picture3-160x100.png 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 279px) 100vw, 279px\"> learning all families gift their children every day. She and her team of coaches at NQC Literacy work with schools and districts to collectively grow teacher practice and children’s literacy lives. In addition, she is a member of the National Council for Teachers of English Committee Against Racism and Bias in the Teaching of English; she evaluates manuscripts for Reese Witherspoon’s LitUp program, which platforms historically underrepresented voices in publishing; and she serves on the Library of Congress Literacy Awards Advisory Board, which funds powerful literacy programming across the country. Nawal holds a Bachelor of English from the University of Michigan, a Master of Teaching from Brooklyn College and a Master of Journalism from Syracuse University’s Newhouse School. She won a New Jersey Press Association Award for her international reporting and transitioned into education as a New York City Teaching Fellow.\u003c/span>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/63086/when-family-tree-projects-frustrate-students-community-maps-are-an-inclusive-alternative","authors":["4354"],"categories":["mindshift_21491","mindshift_194","mindshift_21385","mindshift_193"],"tags":["mindshift_21250","mindshift_21371","mindshift_21707","mindshift_21230","mindshift_21223","mindshift_21415","mindshift_444","mindshift_290"],"featImg":"mindshift_63105","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_63173":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_63173","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"63173","score":null,"sort":[1707955213000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"3-research-backed-tips-for-teaching-forgiveness-to-children","title":"3 Research-backed tips for teaching forgiveness to children","publishDate":1707955213,"format":"standard","headTitle":"3 Research-backed tips for teaching forgiveness to children | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>This post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/teaching-forgiveness-to-children\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You may have never thought specifically about teaching your child forgiveness but we have all experienced a situation in which forgiveness comes into play. Maybe you’ve apologized to your child only to have them stare back at you blankly. Or maybe your child had a misunderstanding with their friend on the playground and even after it had been resolved refused to play with that friend. Or maybe their brother accidentally pushed them and they still lashed out and pushed back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Forgiving and moving on is just as important in repairing a relationship as \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62290/teaching-kids-the-right-way-to-say-im-sorry\">apologizing and making up for a mistake\u003c/a>. As adults, we know the importance of forgiveness in our relationships, but what about for our children? How do they learn to forgive others and move on? And is there anything we can do to teach them to be more forgiving?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324156892_The_Emergence_of_Forgiveness_in_Young_Children\">Research\u003c/a> finds that children as young as four show forgiveness, particularly when the offending party is is remorseful or apologetic. When children are more forgiving, it not only helps their social relationships, but is also associated with \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S014019711200053X\">increased self-esteem, lower levels of social anxiety\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Johan-Karremans/publication/288039910_Interpersonal_Forgiveness_and_Psychological_Well-being_in_Late_Childhood/links/568a80d208ae1e63f1fbcee0/Interpersonal-Forgiveness-and-Psychological-Well-being-in-Late-Childhood.pdf\">improved psychological well-being\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2021-92064-001\">A recent study\u003c/a> may help us to understand the factors that make children more likely to forgive. This study included 185 children from ages 5 to 14 years. The researchers interviewed children to find out how likely they were to forgive another child who left them out of an activity. The researchers also examined whether it mattered for forgiveness when the other child was on the same team versus on another team, whether the other child gave a sincere apology, and tested the children’s “theory of mind” skills (translation: children’s ability to take the perspectives of others and understand that other people have different thoughts, beliefs and emotions).\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Three main findings\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The researchers found that children were more likely to forgive others when:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>The other child gave a sincere apology\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>They thought of the other child as on the same team or part of their group\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>When they had more advanced theory of mind skills\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch3>Translation\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>This study suggests that forgiveness is complicated, even for young children. Of course this is a preliminary study and further research is needed to better understand the development of forgiveness in children, but it does provide some interesting insights. So how can this research help you to teach your children about forgiveness?\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Work with your child on their perspective-taking abilities.\u003c/strong> Ask them why another person might have acted in a certain way and what they might be feeling. Help them to see the other child’s point of view in a conflict. Explain to them your thoughts and perspectives in different situations. Point out the thoughts, feelings and perspectives of characters in books, movies and television shows, whenever you have the chance.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Explain how other children are similar to your children even when they seem different on the surface.\u003c/strong> Research finds that children are more likely to forgive others when they think of themselves on the same “team” as that child ,so seeing the child as more similar to themselves may help to generate these feelings.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Help your children learn to apologize in a sincere way and recognize a sincere apology \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/should-you-make-your-kids-apologize\">when they receive one\u003c/a>.\u003c/strong> This research suggests that sincere apologies are important in forgiveness. Apologizing sincerely means being clear in expressing that they understood what they did wrong and a plan to do better in the future. Parents should also try to model sincere apologies when apologizing to their children and practice it with them regularly.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of four and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Child psychologist Cara Goodwin shares research-backed ways to help your child learn how to forgive others.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1708006240,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":10,"wordCount":667},"headData":{"title":"3 Research-backed tips for teaching forgiveness to children | KQED","description":"Child psychologist Cara Goodwin shares research-backed ways to help your child learn how to forgive others.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"Child psychologist Cara Goodwin shares research-backed ways to help your child learn how to forgive others.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"3 Research-backed tips for teaching forgiveness to children","datePublished":"2024-02-15T00:00:13.000Z","dateModified":"2024-02-15T14:10:40.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"nprByline":"Cara Goodwin, \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.org\" target=\"_blank\">The Parenting Translator\u003c/a>","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/63173/3-research-backed-tips-for-teaching-forgiveness-to-children","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>This post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/teaching-forgiveness-to-children\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You may have never thought specifically about teaching your child forgiveness but we have all experienced a situation in which forgiveness comes into play. Maybe you’ve apologized to your child only to have them stare back at you blankly. Or maybe your child had a misunderstanding with their friend on the playground and even after it had been resolved refused to play with that friend. Or maybe their brother accidentally pushed them and they still lashed out and pushed back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Forgiving and moving on is just as important in repairing a relationship as \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62290/teaching-kids-the-right-way-to-say-im-sorry\">apologizing and making up for a mistake\u003c/a>. As adults, we know the importance of forgiveness in our relationships, but what about for our children? How do they learn to forgive others and move on? And is there anything we can do to teach them to be more forgiving?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324156892_The_Emergence_of_Forgiveness_in_Young_Children\">Research\u003c/a> finds that children as young as four show forgiveness, particularly when the offending party is is remorseful or apologetic. When children are more forgiving, it not only helps their social relationships, but is also associated with \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S014019711200053X\">increased self-esteem, lower levels of social anxiety\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Johan-Karremans/publication/288039910_Interpersonal_Forgiveness_and_Psychological_Well-being_in_Late_Childhood/links/568a80d208ae1e63f1fbcee0/Interpersonal-Forgiveness-and-Psychological-Well-being-in-Late-Childhood.pdf\">improved psychological well-being\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2021-92064-001\">A recent study\u003c/a> may help us to understand the factors that make children more likely to forgive. This study included 185 children from ages 5 to 14 years. The researchers interviewed children to find out how likely they were to forgive another child who left them out of an activity. The researchers also examined whether it mattered for forgiveness when the other child was on the same team versus on another team, whether the other child gave a sincere apology, and tested the children’s “theory of mind” skills (translation: children’s ability to take the perspectives of others and understand that other people have different thoughts, beliefs and emotions).\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Three main findings\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The researchers found that children were more likely to forgive others when:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>The other child gave a sincere apology\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>They thought of the other child as on the same team or part of their group\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>When they had more advanced theory of mind skills\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch3>Translation\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>This study suggests that forgiveness is complicated, even for young children. Of course this is a preliminary study and further research is needed to better understand the development of forgiveness in children, but it does provide some interesting insights. So how can this research help you to teach your children about forgiveness?\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Work with your child on their perspective-taking abilities.\u003c/strong> Ask them why another person might have acted in a certain way and what they might be feeling. Help them to see the other child’s point of view in a conflict. Explain to them your thoughts and perspectives in different situations. Point out the thoughts, feelings and perspectives of characters in books, movies and television shows, whenever you have the chance.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Explain how other children are similar to your children even when they seem different on the surface.\u003c/strong> Research finds that children are more likely to forgive others when they think of themselves on the same “team” as that child ,so seeing the child as more similar to themselves may help to generate these feelings.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Help your children learn to apologize in a sincere way and recognize a sincere apology \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/should-you-make-your-kids-apologize\">when they receive one\u003c/a>.\u003c/strong> This research suggests that sincere apologies are important in forgiveness. Apologizing sincerely means being clear in expressing that they understood what they did wrong and a plan to do better in the future. Parents should also try to model sincere apologies when apologizing to their children and practice it with them regularly.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of four and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/63173/3-research-backed-tips-for-teaching-forgiveness-to-children","authors":["byline_mindshift_63173"],"categories":["mindshift_21504","mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_21767","mindshift_21768","mindshift_21898","mindshift_20568","mindshift_21706"],"featImg":"mindshift_63174","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_63052":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_63052","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"63052","score":null,"sort":[1707130837000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"overscheduling-kids-lives-causes-depression-and-anxiety-study-finds","title":"Overscheduling kids’ lives causes depression and anxiety, study finds","publishDate":1707130837,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Overscheduling kids’ lives causes depression and anxiety, study finds | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Psychologists have long warned that children’s lives are overscheduled, which undermines their ability to develop non-academic skills that they’ll need in adulthood, from coping with setbacks to building strong relationships. Now a trio of economists say they’ve been able to calculate some of these psychological costs.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In a new \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272775723001504?via%3Dihub\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">data analysis published in the February 2024 issue of the Economics of Education Review\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, three economists from the University of Georgia and the Federal Reserve Board found that students are assigned so much homework and signed up for so many extracurricular activities that the “last hour” was no longer helping to build their academic skills. Instead, the activities were actually harming their mental well-being, making students more anxious, depressed or angry. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“We’re not saying that all these activities are bad, but that the total is bad,” said Carolina Caetano, one of the study’s authors and an assistant professor of economics at the University of Georgia. Homework and scheduled activities, she said, were eating away at time for sleep and socializing, which are also important. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The downsides of homework and scheduled activities were most pronounced during the high school years, when students are feeling pressure to earn high grades and load up on extracurriculars for their college applications, the researchers found.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Unfortunately, the researchers weren’t able to put a precise number on how many hours is too much, and Caetano explained to me that the number might not be the same for everyone.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents who worry that their children might be overscheduled should ask themselves whether they feel their days are so busy that their children don’t even have time for spontaneous play dates, Caetano said. “If you feel stretched, you’re probably on the too-much side of this,” she said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Caetano and her research team analyzed the time diaries of 4,300 children and teens, from kindergarten through 12th grade. The diaries had been collected over the years, dating back to 1997, as part of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psidonline.isr.umich.edu/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Panel Study of Income Dynamics (PSID)\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a large nationally representative household survey overseen by the University of Michigan. Children, parents and survey workers kept track of a random weekday and a random weekend day for each child, allowing the researchers to see how children spent every minute.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The researchers described a wide assortment of activities intended to improve children’s skills as “enrichment.” Homework was the largest component, adding up to two thirds of the total enrichment hours. The remainder of the enrichment time was occupied by reading (14% of the enrichment time), followed by before- and after-school programs (7%). In the diaries, relatively little time was spent being read to by parents, tutoring and other academic lessons, and on non-academic lessons, such as piano, soccer lessons or driver’s ed. On average, children spent 45 minutes a day on all of them, ranging from zero to four hours a day.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The researchers then compared time spent on these enrichment activities with academic test scores along with non-cognitive psychological measures, which were based on parent surveys of their children’s behaviors, such as being withdrawn, anxious or angry. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At first, there seemed to be a strong association between time spent on enrichment and academic skills and positive behaviors. That is, students who were more scheduled also had higher test scores and better behaviors. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But scheduled students also tend to be wealthier. Their families have the resources for tutors, after-school activities, or nannies who enforce homework time. It’s hard to tell how much the activities were responsible for boosting students’ skills or whether these highly resourced children would have done just as well on the tests and non-cognitive measures without the activities. After adjusting for family income and other demographic characteristics, some of these benefits melted away. Still, some association between scheduled activities and academic skills remained. In other words, even between two children with the same demographics and family income, the one that was more scheduled and spent more time on homework scored higher.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">However, these scheduled children of the same income and demographics still differ from each other in important ways. Some are more motivated or conscientious. Some have photographic memories or are hard working. Some have a gift for math or music. The children who choose to do more homework and participate in after-school activities are exactly the ones who are more likely to score higher anyway. It’s a thorny knot to disentangle how much the homework and scheduled activities are driving the improvement in skills.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In this study, the researchers used a new statistical technique for large datasets to disentangle it. And once they adjusted for the effects of the students’ unobservable or inner differences, all the academic benefits melted away, and well-being turned negative. That is, the final or marginal hour of homework and activities didn’t raise a student’s test scores at all and lowered a child’s non-cognitive behaviors.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The researchers also noticed a dilemma in the data. The psychological downsides of overscheduling hit before students’ cognitive skills were maximized. There’s a point where a child could still boost his academic skills by doing another hour of homework or tutoring, for example, but it would come at the expense of mental well-being. With more time spent on these activities, the academic returns eventually fall to zero, but by that time, there’s been a considerable hit to well-being.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A lot more research is needed to understand if some activities are harming students more than others. One question Caetano has concerns timing. She wonders what would happen if little kids were less scheduled in elementary school. Would they then have more resilience to deal with the time pressures in high school? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The statistical techniques in this study are new and researchers debate about how and when to use them. Josh Goodman, an education economist at Boston University who was not involved in the study, commented that the causal claims between overscheduling and academic skills and mental well-being aren’t “perfect,” but called them “good enough.” He said on X (formerly Twitter) that “the paper raises some very uncomfortable questions (including about my own parenting decisions!)” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Of course, parents aren’t entirely to blame. Schools assign the homework and their children’s grades will suffer if it isn’t done. College admissions departments value applicants with high grades and activities. Caetano sympathizes with parents who find it hard to individually push back against the current system. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s similarly difficult for one school to unilaterally change homework policies when colleges could penalize their students. Indeed, schools that have tried reducing the pressure have sometimes felt the wrath of parents who are worried that less homework will cause their children to fall behind the competition. Ultimately, Caetano says that education policymakers on the state or federal level need to set policies to ratchet down the pressure for all.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This story about \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/proof-points-overscheduling-kids-lives-causes-depression-and-anxiety-study-finds/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">extracurricular activities\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> was written by Jill Barshay and produced by \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Hechinger Report\u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a nonprofit, independent news organization focused on inequality and innovation in education. Sign up for the \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/proofpoints/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Proof Points newsletter\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Economists calculated the costs and benefits of homework and extracurriculars. They found troubling mental health costs.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1706900711,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":21,"wordCount":1247},"headData":{"title":"Overscheduling kids’ lives causes depression and anxiety, study finds | KQED","description":"Economists calculated the costs and benefits of homework and extracurriculars. They found troubling mental health costs.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"Economists calculated the costs and benefits of homework and extracurriculars. They found troubling mental health costs.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Overscheduling kids’ lives causes depression and anxiety, study finds","datePublished":"2024-02-05T11:00:37.000Z","dateModified":"2024-02-02T19:05:11.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"nprByline":"Jill Barshay, \u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/\" target=\"_blank\">The Hechinger Report\u003c/a>","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/63052/overscheduling-kids-lives-causes-depression-and-anxiety-study-finds","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Psychologists have long warned that children’s lives are overscheduled, which undermines their ability to develop non-academic skills that they’ll need in adulthood, from coping with setbacks to building strong relationships. Now a trio of economists say they’ve been able to calculate some of these psychological costs.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In a new \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272775723001504?via%3Dihub\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">data analysis published in the February 2024 issue of the Economics of Education Review\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, three economists from the University of Georgia and the Federal Reserve Board found that students are assigned so much homework and signed up for so many extracurricular activities that the “last hour” was no longer helping to build their academic skills. Instead, the activities were actually harming their mental well-being, making students more anxious, depressed or angry. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“We’re not saying that all these activities are bad, but that the total is bad,” said Carolina Caetano, one of the study’s authors and an assistant professor of economics at the University of Georgia. Homework and scheduled activities, she said, were eating away at time for sleep and socializing, which are also important. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The downsides of homework and scheduled activities were most pronounced during the high school years, when students are feeling pressure to earn high grades and load up on extracurriculars for their college applications, the researchers found.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Unfortunately, the researchers weren’t able to put a precise number on how many hours is too much, and Caetano explained to me that the number might not be the same for everyone.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents who worry that their children might be overscheduled should ask themselves whether they feel their days are so busy that their children don’t even have time for spontaneous play dates, Caetano said. “If you feel stretched, you’re probably on the too-much side of this,” she said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Caetano and her research team analyzed the time diaries of 4,300 children and teens, from kindergarten through 12th grade. The diaries had been collected over the years, dating back to 1997, as part of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psidonline.isr.umich.edu/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Panel Study of Income Dynamics (PSID)\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a large nationally representative household survey overseen by the University of Michigan. Children, parents and survey workers kept track of a random weekday and a random weekend day for each child, allowing the researchers to see how children spent every minute.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The researchers described a wide assortment of activities intended to improve children’s skills as “enrichment.” Homework was the largest component, adding up to two thirds of the total enrichment hours. The remainder of the enrichment time was occupied by reading (14% of the enrichment time), followed by before- and after-school programs (7%). In the diaries, relatively little time was spent being read to by parents, tutoring and other academic lessons, and on non-academic lessons, such as piano, soccer lessons or driver’s ed. On average, children spent 45 minutes a day on all of them, ranging from zero to four hours a day.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The researchers then compared time spent on these enrichment activities with academic test scores along with non-cognitive psychological measures, which were based on parent surveys of their children’s behaviors, such as being withdrawn, anxious or angry. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At first, there seemed to be a strong association between time spent on enrichment and academic skills and positive behaviors. That is, students who were more scheduled also had higher test scores and better behaviors. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But scheduled students also tend to be wealthier. Their families have the resources for tutors, after-school activities, or nannies who enforce homework time. It’s hard to tell how much the activities were responsible for boosting students’ skills or whether these highly resourced children would have done just as well on the tests and non-cognitive measures without the activities. After adjusting for family income and other demographic characteristics, some of these benefits melted away. Still, some association between scheduled activities and academic skills remained. In other words, even between two children with the same demographics and family income, the one that was more scheduled and spent more time on homework scored higher.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">However, these scheduled children of the same income and demographics still differ from each other in important ways. Some are more motivated or conscientious. Some have photographic memories or are hard working. Some have a gift for math or music. The children who choose to do more homework and participate in after-school activities are exactly the ones who are more likely to score higher anyway. It’s a thorny knot to disentangle how much the homework and scheduled activities are driving the improvement in skills.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In this study, the researchers used a new statistical technique for large datasets to disentangle it. And once they adjusted for the effects of the students’ unobservable or inner differences, all the academic benefits melted away, and well-being turned negative. That is, the final or marginal hour of homework and activities didn’t raise a student’s test scores at all and lowered a child’s non-cognitive behaviors.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The researchers also noticed a dilemma in the data. The psychological downsides of overscheduling hit before students’ cognitive skills were maximized. There’s a point where a child could still boost his academic skills by doing another hour of homework or tutoring, for example, but it would come at the expense of mental well-being. With more time spent on these activities, the academic returns eventually fall to zero, but by that time, there’s been a considerable hit to well-being.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A lot more research is needed to understand if some activities are harming students more than others. One question Caetano has concerns timing. She wonders what would happen if little kids were less scheduled in elementary school. Would they then have more resilience to deal with the time pressures in high school? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The statistical techniques in this study are new and researchers debate about how and when to use them. Josh Goodman, an education economist at Boston University who was not involved in the study, commented that the causal claims between overscheduling and academic skills and mental well-being aren’t “perfect,” but called them “good enough.” He said on X (formerly Twitter) that “the paper raises some very uncomfortable questions (including about my own parenting decisions!)” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Of course, parents aren’t entirely to blame. Schools assign the homework and their children’s grades will suffer if it isn’t done. College admissions departments value applicants with high grades and activities. Caetano sympathizes with parents who find it hard to individually push back against the current system. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s similarly difficult for one school to unilaterally change homework policies when colleges could penalize their students. Indeed, schools that have tried reducing the pressure have sometimes felt the wrath of parents who are worried that less homework will cause their children to fall behind the competition. Ultimately, Caetano says that education policymakers on the state or federal level need to set policies to ratchet down the pressure for all.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This story about \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/proof-points-overscheduling-kids-lives-causes-depression-and-anxiety-study-finds/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">extracurricular activities\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> was written by Jill Barshay and produced by \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Hechinger Report\u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a nonprofit, independent news organization focused on inequality and innovation in education. Sign up for the \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/proofpoints/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Proof Points newsletter\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/63052/overscheduling-kids-lives-causes-depression-and-anxiety-study-finds","authors":["byline_mindshift_63052"],"categories":["mindshift_21504","mindshift_21280","mindshift_21385","mindshift_20874"],"tags":["mindshift_20589","mindshift_21612","mindshift_21070","mindshift_21100","mindshift_563","mindshift_20865","mindshift_20870","mindshift_290"],"featImg":"mindshift_63054","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_62994":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_62994","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"mindshift","id":"62994","score":null,"sort":[1705626028000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"kids-of-color-get-worse-health-care-across-the-board-in-the-u-s-research-finds","title":"Kids of color get worse health care across the board in the U.S., research finds","publishDate":1705626028,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Kids of color get worse health care across the board in the U.S., research finds | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>Imagine your child has broken a bone. You head to the emergency department, but the doctors won’t prescribe painkillers. This scenario is one that children of color in the U.S. are more likely to face than their white peers, according to \u003ca href=\"https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanchi/article/PIIS2352-4642(23)00251-1/fulltext\">new findings\u003c/a> published in \u003cem>The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Researchers reviewed dozens of recent studies looking at the quality of care children receive across a wide spectrum of pediatric specialties. The inequities are widespread, says \u003ca href=\"https://www.feinberg.northwestern.edu/faculty-profiles/az/profile.html?xid=39078\">Nia Heard-Garris\u003c/a>, a researcher at Northwestern University and a pediatrician at Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago, who oversaw the review.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“No matter where you look, there are disparities in care for Black Americans, Hispanic, Latinx, Asian Americans — pretty much every racial and ethnic group that’s not white,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Heard-Garris says there are lots of examples of inequalities across specialties. The review found children of color are less likely to get diagnostic imaging and more likely to experience complications during and after some surgical procedures. They face longer wait times for care at the emergency room, and they are less likely to get diagnosed and treated for a developmental disability.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The strongest disparity evidence was found in pain management. Kids of color are less likely than their white peers to get painkillers for a broken arm or leg, for appendicitis or for migraines. “Those are some really severe examples of how this plays out,” says\u003ca href=\"https://chicago.medicine.uic.edu/directory/name/monique-jindal/\"> Dr. Monique Jindal\u003c/a>, an assistant professor at the University of Illinois Chicago and one of the authors of the review.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The researchers looked only at studies that included children who had health insurance, “so we cannot blame the lack of insurance for causing these disparities,” Heard-Garris says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Compiling evidence of health inequities from across a wide array of pediatric specialties was a “tremendous” undertaking, says \u003ca href=\"https://research.childrensnational.org/people/monika-goyal\">Dr. Monika Goyal\u003c/a>, associate chief of emergency medicine at Children’s National Hospital in Washington, D.C., who was not involved in the research review.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“They have really done an amazing job in painstakingly pulling together the data that really highlights the widespread pervasiveness of inequities in care,” says Goyal, whose own research has examined disparities in pediatric care.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Researchers say the causes of the inequities are wide-ranging but are ultimately rooted in structural racism, including unequal access to healthy housing and economic opportunities, disparate policing of kids of color and unconscious bias among health care providers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Anyone who has their eyes open knows that the disparities exist. Where we’re really lacking is talking about tangible solutions,” says \u003ca href=\"https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanchi/article/PIIS2352-4642(23)00262-6/fulltext\">Jindal\u003c/a>, who was the lead author on a companion paper that offered policy recommendations to counteract these widespread disparities in pediatric care.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These solutions may ultimately require sweeping policy changes, Jindal says, because “we cannot have high-quality health care or equitable health care without addressing each of the policy issues with the other sectors of society,” Jindal says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But sweeping policy changes could take a long time, and some, like instituting universal health care, have proved politically unfeasible in the past. Some low-hanging fruit could be tackled at the state level, Jindal says, such as instituting continuous eligibility for social safety-net programs such as SNAP, Medicaid and CHIP, so that children don’t face losing insurance coverage and food assistance for administrative reasons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the meantime, Heard-Garris says health care providers should take some immediate steps to check their own practices for biases.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Even if you are the most progressive provider, you’re still going to have things that are blinders,” she says. Make sure you check on those, challenge them, learn more, push yourself, review your own charts, Heard-Garris advises.\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This story was edited by Jane Greenhalgh.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2024 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Kids+of+color+get+worse+health+care+across+the+board+in+the+U.S.%2C+research+finds&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"From neonatal and primary care to emergency medicine, kids got lower-quality care than their white peers, researchers found. Disparities include longer waits and less pain medication after surgery.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705626028,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":17,"wordCount":654},"headData":{"title":"Kids of color get worse health care across the board in the U.S., research finds | KQED","description":"From neonatal and primary care to emergency medicine, kids got lower-quality care than their white peers, researchers found. Disparities include longer waits and less pain medication after surgery.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"From neonatal and primary care to emergency medicine, kids got lower-quality care than their white peers, researchers found. Disparities include longer waits and less pain medication after surgery.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Kids of color get worse health care across the board in the U.S., research finds","datePublished":"2024-01-19T01:00:28.000Z","dateModified":"2024-01-19T01:00:28.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"nprImageCredit":"ER Productions Limited","nprByline":"Maria Godoy","nprImageAgency":"Getty Images","nprStoryId":"1225270442","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=1225270442&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2024/01/18/1225270442/health-inequities-pediatrics-kids-of-color-disparities?ft=nprml&f=1225270442","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Thu, 18 Jan 2024 17:22:00 -0500","nprStoryDate":"Thu, 18 Jan 2024 13:04:46 -0500","nprLastModifiedDate":"Thu, 18 Jan 2024 17:22:41 -0500","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/62994/kids-of-color-get-worse-health-care-across-the-board-in-the-u-s-research-finds","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Imagine your child has broken a bone. You head to the emergency department, but the doctors won’t prescribe painkillers. This scenario is one that children of color in the U.S. are more likely to face than their white peers, according to \u003ca href=\"https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanchi/article/PIIS2352-4642(23)00251-1/fulltext\">new findings\u003c/a> published in \u003cem>The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Researchers reviewed dozens of recent studies looking at the quality of care children receive across a wide spectrum of pediatric specialties. The inequities are widespread, says \u003ca href=\"https://www.feinberg.northwestern.edu/faculty-profiles/az/profile.html?xid=39078\">Nia Heard-Garris\u003c/a>, a researcher at Northwestern University and a pediatrician at Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago, who oversaw the review.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“No matter where you look, there are disparities in care for Black Americans, Hispanic, Latinx, Asian Americans — pretty much every racial and ethnic group that’s not white,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Heard-Garris says there are lots of examples of inequalities across specialties. The review found children of color are less likely to get diagnostic imaging and more likely to experience complications during and after some surgical procedures. They face longer wait times for care at the emergency room, and they are less likely to get diagnosed and treated for a developmental disability.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The strongest disparity evidence was found in pain management. Kids of color are less likely than their white peers to get painkillers for a broken arm or leg, for appendicitis or for migraines. “Those are some really severe examples of how this plays out,” says\u003ca href=\"https://chicago.medicine.uic.edu/directory/name/monique-jindal/\"> Dr. Monique Jindal\u003c/a>, an assistant professor at the University of Illinois Chicago and one of the authors of the review.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The researchers looked only at studies that included children who had health insurance, “so we cannot blame the lack of insurance for causing these disparities,” Heard-Garris says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Compiling evidence of health inequities from across a wide array of pediatric specialties was a “tremendous” undertaking, says \u003ca href=\"https://research.childrensnational.org/people/monika-goyal\">Dr. Monika Goyal\u003c/a>, associate chief of emergency medicine at Children’s National Hospital in Washington, D.C., who was not involved in the research review.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“They have really done an amazing job in painstakingly pulling together the data that really highlights the widespread pervasiveness of inequities in care,” says Goyal, whose own research has examined disparities in pediatric care.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Researchers say the causes of the inequities are wide-ranging but are ultimately rooted in structural racism, including unequal access to healthy housing and economic opportunities, disparate policing of kids of color and unconscious bias among health care providers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Anyone who has their eyes open knows that the disparities exist. Where we’re really lacking is talking about tangible solutions,” says \u003ca href=\"https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanchi/article/PIIS2352-4642(23)00262-6/fulltext\">Jindal\u003c/a>, who was the lead author on a companion paper that offered policy recommendations to counteract these widespread disparities in pediatric care.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These solutions may ultimately require sweeping policy changes, Jindal says, because “we cannot have high-quality health care or equitable health care without addressing each of the policy issues with the other sectors of society,” Jindal says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But sweeping policy changes could take a long time, and some, like instituting universal health care, have proved politically unfeasible in the past. Some low-hanging fruit could be tackled at the state level, Jindal says, such as instituting continuous eligibility for social safety-net programs such as SNAP, Medicaid and CHIP, so that children don’t face losing insurance coverage and food assistance for administrative reasons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the meantime, Heard-Garris says health care providers should take some immediate steps to check their own practices for biases.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Even if you are the most progressive provider, you’re still going to have things that are blinders,” she says. Make sure you check on those, challenge them, learn more, push yourself, review your own charts, Heard-Garris advises.\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This story was edited by Jane Greenhalgh.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2024 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Kids+of+color+get+worse+health+care+across+the+board+in+the+U.S.%2C+research+finds&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/62994/kids-of-color-get-worse-health-care-across-the-board-in-the-u-s-research-finds","authors":["byline_mindshift_62994"],"categories":["mindshift_21357","mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_21425","mindshift_21455","mindshift_268","mindshift_20819"],"featImg":"mindshift_62995","label":"mindshift"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? 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You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. 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Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. 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You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Mindshift-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"KQED MindShift: How We Will Learn","officialWebsiteLink":"/mindshift/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"2"},"link":"/podcasts/mindshift","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mindshift-podcast/id1078765985","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM1NzY0NjAwNDI5","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/464615685/mind-shift-podcast","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/stories-teachers-share","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/0MxSpNYZKNprFLCl7eEtyx"}},"morning-edition":{"id":"morning-edition","title":"Morning Edition","info":"\u003cem>Morning Edition\u003c/em> takes listeners around the country and the world with multi-faceted stories and commentaries every weekday. 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On Our Watch brings listeners into the rooms where officers are questioned and witnesses are interrogated to find out who this system is really protecting. 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