Turkey legs, cotton candy, various fried regrets on sticks -- gone are the days when "festival food" means forking over your hard-earned cash for fare that's (at best) boring and (more often) leaves you queasy. At least, if you live in the Bay Area.

Chris Consentino (pictured at GastroMagic 2014) will be back to host and roast a full albacore to the global beats of Jillionaire from Major Lazer. (Wendy Goodfriend)

Never mind the 80 restaurants, 40 wineries, 28 breweries and cocktail bars that will be on hand to feed and intoxicate you at this year's Outside Lands. In San Francisco, where chefs are rock stars, culinary entertainment -- we're talking spectacles -- now receives nearly equal billing with artists like LCD Soundsystem, Radiohead and Lionel Richie. (For the uninitiated: Those are the headliners for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights, respectively, at this year's fest, which takes place Aug. 5 through 7 in Golden Gate Park.)

Now, first, the bad news: If you don't have a ticket to the festival yet, you're out of luck -- unless you've got, say, $2400 burning a hole in your pocket for a pair of VIP passes.

If, on the other hand, you're one of the lucky souls who nabbed tickets before the fest sold out: Hold your breath. Count to three. The GastroMagic lineup has been announced, and hedonistic food-based pleasures the likes of which Willy Wonka never dreamed await.

What is GastroMagic?

According to festival organizers, GastroMagic is a "wild stage devoted to magical mash-ups in food, breakdancing, comedy, music, and cocktails" that "invites fans to suspend their sense of reality and normalcy while stepping into a fantastic party." This year it will be hosted by local chef and "Master of the Culinary Wonder," Chris Cosentino. Media partner ChefsFeed, a community of local chefs, will be curating a "Culinary Olympics Throwdown" and capturing the madness.

Where is it, and how can I go?

The main GastroMagic stage is located in the “wooded wonderland” that is McLaren Pass, in the festival’s home of Golden Gate Park, and there’ll also be GastroMagic events neighboring that stage. “Performances” will be taking place on all three days of Outside Lands, and entrance is included in your festival ticket.

What should I see and/or eat?

Okay, so no one seems to peddling edible wallpaper just yet. But if you've never visited this fest within a fest, there's certainly some unexpected magic -- not to mention comedy, talks, twerk sessions, and cocktails -- in store. Here are a few of our stand-out picks; you can check the full lineup below.

Trash Talk Cook Off With CUESA in 2015 (Wendy Goodfriend)

CUESA's Trash Talk Redux with Bar Tartine, Calavera, 20th CenturyCafe and Namu Gaji (Friday, 2:55pm)

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Trash has never tasted this good. CUESA's very own Marcy Coburn will guide San Francisco star chefs Cortney Burns, Sophina Uong and Michelle Polzine through an Iron Chef-style competition to create a winning masterpiece from food waste. Using discarded items from Outside Lands' favorite food vendors, along with some of the ugliest produce the city has to offer, the chefs will attempt true culinary alchemy. DJ David Lee, one half of hip-hop duo Golden Age (and co-owner of Namu Gaji) will be keeping the kitchen hot with a tasty trash fire DJ set.

Bay Area Hipster Chef Roast (Friday, 5:45pm)

Local comedians Kyle Kinane, Kaseem Bentley, Krista Fatka, and Clare O'Kane roast three-time "James Mustache Award" winner, "Chef Kale Hendrix," hosted by San Francisco's own "adorably self-deprecating" Paco Romane -- while locally beloved Hapa Ramen guru Richie Nakano will be "roasting a dish of his very own."

Paco Romane and Richie Nakano (Photo via Outside Lands)

Raspberry Beret: A Prince Tribute with Humphry Slocombe (Friday, 7:25pm)

"Express your inner Purple One as you indulge in the delights of Humphry Slocombe's limited edition Ube (purple yam) and Raspberry Ice Cream alongside a performance of Prince's all-time classics."

Beignets & Bounce Brunch with Big Freedia and Brenda's Soul Food (Saturday, 1:30pm)

If it ain't broke, don't fix it: "Straight from New Orleans, Big Freedia AKA the 'Queen of Bounce' is back to shake and wobble during the Third Annual Bounce Brunch. Brenda's Soul Food beignets will be served to the best, bounciest twerkers in the crowd, so come ready to bust some serious moves."

This one put a huge grin on my face last year, and I have a hard time imagining it won't do that again. I mean, look.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGwxP_xV450

Skew It On The Bar-B with Big Boi, Animal's Jon Shook & Vinny Dotolo and State Bird's Stuart Brioza (Saturday, 7pm)

"Jon Shook, Vinny Dotolo and Stuart Brioza, powerhouse chefs from Los Angeles and San Francisco, share the stage and key 'skewing' tips with music icon Big Boi before he transfixes the audience with hip hop magic."

Big Boi at Outside Lands in 2012. (Photo by Wendy Goodfriend)

Sunday Bloody Mary Sunday with Zoo Station, Padrecito & BaconLand (Sunday, 2:05pm)

"It wouldn't be a Sunday without a Bloody Mary... or four. Padrecito will bring four fresh variations of the brunch-time cocktail to the GastroMagic table. Taste them all: Classic Bloody Mary, Bloody Maria, Mezcal Mary, and the Red Snapper. Put some grease in your belly with bacon flights from the BaconLand team. And of course, no better pairing for taking the edge off than a set from San Francisco's ultimate U2 cover band."

Oh, yeah. Did I forget to mention BaconLand? There's a BaconLand. It looks like this.

Enough with the watching. How can I eat all this stuff?

Pro tip: As with last year, several of the GastroMagic performances will have an “intimate tasting table component where fans will have the opportunity to indulge in creations from the show” (ie. you get to eat the stuff they made onstage.) Seats are free but will be offered at certain shows (look for the “**” here) on a first-come, first-served (literally) basis to the first ten fans to arrive before that particular performance, and that details will be released via the Outside Lands mobile app.

And the rest, my friends? That's up to you and your stomach. I'll see you out there -- don't forget those elastic-waist pants.

Full GastroMagic Lineup

FRIDAY AUGUST 5

CUESA's Trash Talk Redux with Bar Tartine, Calavera, 20th Century Cafeand Namu Gaji
2:55pm - 3:25pm

Trash has never tasted this good. CUESA's very own Marcy Coburn will guide San Francisco star chefs Cortney Burns, Sophina Uong & Michelle Polzine through an Iron Chef-style competition to create a winning masterpiece from food waste. Using discarded items from Outside Lands' favorite food vendors, along with some of the ugliest produce the city has to offer, the chefs will attempt true culinary alchemy. DJ David Lee, one half of hip-hop duo Golden Age (and co-owner of Namu Gaji) will be keeping the kitchen hot with a tasty trash fire DJ set.

Every Little Thing She Does Is... GastroMagic with Chef Melissa King and Ra Ra Riot Covering The Police
4:15pm - 4:45pm

Members of Ra Ra Riot will be performing as A Humiliating Kick in the Crotch, their brilliantly named Police cover band alter ego. While the Brooklyn indie faves spin us some sweet serenades, Chef Melissa King (Top Chef) will show you all priceless tricks and tips necessary to create gastro magic in the kitchen.

Bay Area Hipster Chef Roast with Kyle Kinane, Paco Romane, Drew Platt, Richie Nakano and More
5:45pm - 6:15pm

A host of Bay Area comedians join together to roast, toast, and broil three time "James Mustache Award" winner, "Chef Kale Hendrix." Featuring searing burns from Kyle Kinane, Kaseem Bentley, Krista Fatka, and Clare O'Kane, the show will be hosted by San Fran's own "adorably self-deprecating" Paco Romane. As the comedians put Hendrix to the test, SF's Chef Richie Nakano will be roasting a dish of his very own.

Raspberry Beret: A Prince Tribute with Humphry Slocombe
7:25pm - 7:55pm

Express your inner Purple One as you indulge in the delights of Humphry Slocombe's limited edition Ube (purple yam) and Raspberry Ice Cream alongside a performance of Prince's all-time classics.

SATURDAY AUGUST 6

Beignets & Bounce Brunch with Big Freedia and Brenda's Soul Food
1:30pm - 2:00pm

Straight from New Orleans, Big Freedia AKA the "Queen of Bounce" is back to shake and wobble during the Third Annual Bounce Brunch. Brenda's Soul Food beignets will be served to the best, bounciest twerkers in the crowd, so come ready to bust some serious moves.

Shark Bites with Jauz, Mother Of Pearl and Guittard
2:50pm - 3:20pm

New York City's spirited mixologist Jane Danger of Mother of Pearl will craft her signature whiskey Shark Eye cocktail before your eyes. Paired with Guittard chocolate bites, it's a combo you won't want to miss. The world touring, genre blending DJ Jauz will spin the beats for this party. It may not be Shark Week, but the water won't be safe.

Electric Beethoven Acid Test with The Electric Beethoven Band and Hampton Creek Innovator Ben Roche
4:10pm - 4:40pm

Futuristic food technologist Ben Roche, in conjunction with the Electric Beethoven Band will take you on the ultimate musical-culinary trip. Psychedelic tunes will echo throughout the forest while Roche provides a mysterious twist for your taste buds.

Culinary Olympics Throwdown with The Northern Chefs Alliance Team USA and Canada Judged By Jo Firestone
5:40pm - 6:10pm

All-star chefs from the USA and Canada, selected by San Francisco's own ChefsFeed, which has an inside connection to the best of food culture and the world's top chefs, will battle it out on the GastroMagic stage to see who will take home the gold from these culinary games. Fierce competitors - to name just a few, Matt Jennings, Jose Enrique and Gabriel Rucker will give Jo Firestone the difficult task of naming the winner after seeing their mastery skills. With her decision, we will finally know whether it's truly time for us all to move to Canada.

Skew It On The Bar-B with Big Boi, Animal's Jon Shook & Vinny Dotolo and State Bird's Stuart Brioza
7:00pm - 7:30pm

Jon Shook, Vinny Dotolo and Stuart Brioza, powerhouse chefs from Los Angeles and San Francisco, share the stage and key "skewing" tips with music icon Big Boi before he transfixes the audience with hip hop magic.

SUNDAY AUGUST 7

Sunday Bloody Mary Sunday with Zoo Station, Padrecito & BaconLand
2:05pm - 2:35pm

It wouldn't be a Sunday without a Bloody Mary... or four. Padrecito will bring four fresh variations of the brunch-time cocktail to the Gastro Magic table. Taste them all: Classic Bloody Mary, Bloody Maria, Mezcal Mary, and the Red Snapper. Put some grease in your belly with bacon flights from the BaconLand team. And of course, no better pairing for taking the edge off than a set from San Francisco's ultimate U2 cover band.

Chris Cosentino and Jillionaire from Major Lazer
4:25pm - 4:55pm

Find your Caribbean groove as one of San Francisco's most celebrated chefs, Chris Cosentino, roasts a full albacore to the global beats of Jillionaire, the Trinidadian born electronic mastermind known for mixing indie and house music with Caribbean rhythms, and a member of Major Lazer.

Breakdown Breakdance with Stephanie Izard, Belcampo Meat Co. and Beatz N Pieces
5:55pm - 6:25pm

Beats and meats what more could you want? B-boy dance troupe Beatz N Pieces will show you how to move ya body, while Stephanie Izard (Top Chef, Girl & The Goat) and butchers from Belcampo Meat Co. show you how to fill ya tummy! The scents of savory goodness will make your head spin, and the music might just make you spin on your head!

How To Make Your Yacht Rock with Mustache Harbor & Woodhouse Fish Co.
7:25pm - 8:05pm

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Don your best captain's hat and 'stache while you enjoy the high seas in this party straight out of the 70s & 80s. Enjoy custom cocktails, fresh lobster rolls from Woodhouse, and jam out to the smoothest soft rock classics, from Steely Dan to Kenny Loggins, performed by the well-dressed boys of Mustache Harbor.

Big FreediaBig Freedia

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