Photos of Weird Victorian Couples to Ruin Your Valentine’s Day
'Lesbian Love Story' Unearths a Century of Queer Romance
Why Hip-Hop Artist Mystic is Devoting February to Revolutionary Love
A Conversation With a Stranger About Love
Community Love: The Fuel For Fighting the Machine
Finding Acceptance—and Self-Love—in a Naturist Community
How to Not Have a Totally Boring Valentine’s Day
How People are Dating When They're Stuck Together or Forced Apart
Love in the Time of COVID-19: Pickup Lines to Get You Through the Pandemic
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Eternal. Binding. Great when you’re in it. Often supremely irritating to look at when you’re not. If you find yourself lacking relationship inspiration as we approach this year’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/20463/the-dark-and-twisted-history-of-valentines-day\">Valentine’s Day\u003c/a>, please consider this a heart-shaped candy box from us to you. Ten couples from San Francisco history who just can’t help but remind us that relationships aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postid='arts_13874348']Please now gaze upon their perplexed, dejected faces and imagine the stilted conversations that occurred before and after these portraits were taken. May they stand as a reminder that sometimes, being alone is better than being saddled with someone else…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Up first! Look at this duo from 1890. Gaze deep into their eyes and ponder the souls within. An abyss of darkness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950574\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 637px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950574\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.02417.jpg\" alt=\"A Victorian era couple pose in a studio, she sitting, he standing. They both look confused and perhaps a little angry.\" width=\"637\" height=\"1000\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.02417.jpg 637w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.02417-160x251.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 637px) 100vw, 637px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">‘You talkin’ to us? You talkin’ to us?! Then who the hell else are you talkin’ to? We’re the only ones here…’ etc. \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp37.02417)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Ah, to be visiting the Cliff House with this cheery couple from 1900.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950531\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950531\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0172.jpg\" alt=\"A Victorian woman in a hat and a large man in a suit pose on a bench in front of an image of the Cliff House in San Francisco.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"706\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0172.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0172-800x565.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0172-160x113.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0172-768x542.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">‘The thing that really drew me to Malcolm was that really special way he does his jackets up.’ \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp70.0172)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Then there are these two from 1900, in the middle of paying a visit to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/13909983/victorian-attractions-san-francisco-chutes-gravity-railroad-woodwards-gardens-bonet-tower-auditorium-skating\">the Haight Street Chutes\u003c/a> (a giant waterslide, ridden in a flat-bottomed boat that existed between 1895 and 1902). What a barrel of laughs they’re having!\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950537\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 740px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950537\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp27.7774.jpg\" alt=\"A man and a woman sit very straight-faced in front of an image depicting a giant water slide.\" width=\"740\" height=\"1000\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp27.7774.jpg 740w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp27.7774-160x216.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 740px) 100vw, 740px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Fairly certain that Amanda Knox is a reincarnation of this woman. \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp27.7774)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Our next couple is clearly having the time of their lives, yes, but look where they’re doing it — all over the rubble of the 1906 earthquake. Like raging, fork-stealing psychopaths.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950530\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950530\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/earthqua.jpg\" alt=\"A Victorian couple gazes at each other and smiles while walking across piles of bricks and ruins.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"862\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/earthqua.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/earthqua-800x690.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/earthqua-160x138.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/earthqua-768x662.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">‘Babe, you’re so damn sexy that when I’m with you it feels, like, totally fine to dance on the rubble of other people’s hopes and dreams.’ ‘Same, Arnold. Same.’ \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp37.01299)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>I don’t want to make groundless accusations or anything but these two look like they’ve got a body hidden in their basement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950586\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 590px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950586\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp14.11172.jpg\" alt=\"A Victorian couple stands on the side of a road. \" width=\"590\" height=\"1000\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp14.11172.jpg 590w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp14.11172-160x271.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 590px) 100vw, 590px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">This was taken on the Great Highway circa 1910 — an excellent location to plot an escape strategy. Coincidence? \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp14.11172)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Don’t have a date this year? Please find comfort in this super-awkward double date that took place at the Premium Postal Studio at 1311 Fillmore Street in the 1910s.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950534\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950534\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1005.jpg\" alt=\"Two men and two women stand within a prop cutout that resembles a hot air balloon.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"740\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1005.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1005-800x592.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1005-160x118.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1005-768x568.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">This whole thing was masterminded by the guy on the left. You can just tell. \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp70.1005)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>These two are basically just in training for the haunting they’re going to do after they’ve crashed that car into the side of the house.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950575\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950575\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.03219.jpg\" alt=\"A Victorian couple sitting in an early automobile outside a large house.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"722\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.03219.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.03219-800x578.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.03219-160x116.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.03219-768x554.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Here we see a couple outside the McLaren Lodge on Stanyan Street in the 1910s. Ten bucks says they’re still there. \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp37.03219)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The photographer for this one really captured the unfiltered joy and unabashed closeness of this couple, didn’t he? Perfection!\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950576\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950576\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0174.jpg\" alt=\"A man and a woman pose inside a prop car in a photo studio. Turn of the century.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"667\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0174.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0174-800x534.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0174-160x107.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0174-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">I don’t know. Something about it just screams ‘I make her walk behind me in the street.’ \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp70.0174)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Look. \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/13866892/an-exhibit-explores-victorian-mourning-customs-ahead-of-halloween\">Victorian mourning garb\u003c/a> was weird and all, but letting anyone leave the house with half an emu on their head is just downright cruel and unusual. Bad husbanding, bro.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950533\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950533\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0977.jpg\" alt=\"A Victorian couple sits in front of an image of San Francisco's Cliff House. \" width=\"1000\" height=\"753\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0977.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0977-800x602.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0977-160x120.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0977-768x578.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">‘What’s the secret to a good marriage? Being really, really into unfathomable hats.’ \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp70.0977)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Finally, there’s this wild and wacky couple from 1911. Bob’s letting his lady friend sit at the wheel of the car, sure, but you can practically hear the sound of his ego breaking under the weight of it. Clench that jaw a little tighter, my man!\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950539\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950539\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1012.jpg\" alt=\"A man and woman pose inside a car in front of a backdrop featuring San Francisco’s Cliff House.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"755\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1012.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1012-800x604.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1012-160x121.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1012-768x580.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">‘Our marriage was in real trouble for a while, but now, every two weeks or so, I let Meredith pretend-drive this prop car. Really gives her a sense of independence, you know?’ \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp70.1012)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! May you ignore everything that just happened and go find a wooden rendition of a donkey to have a cuddle on — just like these cutie pies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950535\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950535\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1026.jpg\" alt=\"A 1920s-era couple sits on a prop donkey in front of a backdrop of San Francisco's cliff house.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"783\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1026.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1026-800x626.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1026-160x125.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1026-768x601.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Relationship goals. \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp70.1026)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"May your Feb. 14 not involve sitting in a prop car with half an emu on your head.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1707446055,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":15,"wordCount":725},"headData":{"title":"Victorian Portraits of Uncomfortable Couples for Valentine's Day | KQED","description":"May your Feb. 14 not involve sitting in a prop car with half an emu on your head.","ogTitle":"Photos of Weird Victorian San Francisco Couples to Inspire Your Valentine’s Day","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"Photos of Weird Victorian San Francisco Couples to Inspire Your Valentine’s Day","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialTitle":"Victorian Portraits of Uncomfortable Couples for Valentine's Day %%page%% %%sep%% KQED","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Photos of Weird Victorian Couples to Ruin Your Valentine’s Day","datePublished":"2024-02-09T17:00:42.000Z","dateModified":"2024-02-09T02:34:15.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","articleAge":"0","path":"/arts/13950526/san-francisco-couples-victorian-valentines-day-history-bay-area-portraits","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Ah, love. Eternal. Binding. Great when you’re in it. Often supremely irritating to look at when you’re not. If you find yourself lacking relationship inspiration as we approach this year’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/20463/the-dark-and-twisted-history-of-valentines-day\">Valentine’s Day\u003c/a>, please consider this a heart-shaped candy box from us to you. Ten couples from San Francisco history who just can’t help but remind us that relationships aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13874348","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>Please now gaze upon their perplexed, dejected faces and imagine the stilted conversations that occurred before and after these portraits were taken. May they stand as a reminder that sometimes, being alone is better than being saddled with someone else…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Up first! Look at this duo from 1890. Gaze deep into their eyes and ponder the souls within. An abyss of darkness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950574\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 637px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950574\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.02417.jpg\" alt=\"A Victorian era couple pose in a studio, she sitting, he standing. They both look confused and perhaps a little angry.\" width=\"637\" height=\"1000\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.02417.jpg 637w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.02417-160x251.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 637px) 100vw, 637px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">‘You talkin’ to us? You talkin’ to us?! Then who the hell else are you talkin’ to? We’re the only ones here…’ etc. \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp37.02417)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Ah, to be visiting the Cliff House with this cheery couple from 1900.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950531\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950531\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0172.jpg\" alt=\"A Victorian woman in a hat and a large man in a suit pose on a bench in front of an image of the Cliff House in San Francisco.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"706\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0172.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0172-800x565.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0172-160x113.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0172-768x542.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">‘The thing that really drew me to Malcolm was that really special way he does his jackets up.’ \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp70.0172)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Then there are these two from 1900, in the middle of paying a visit to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/13909983/victorian-attractions-san-francisco-chutes-gravity-railroad-woodwards-gardens-bonet-tower-auditorium-skating\">the Haight Street Chutes\u003c/a> (a giant waterslide, ridden in a flat-bottomed boat that existed between 1895 and 1902). What a barrel of laughs they’re having!\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950537\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 740px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950537\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp27.7774.jpg\" alt=\"A man and a woman sit very straight-faced in front of an image depicting a giant water slide.\" width=\"740\" height=\"1000\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp27.7774.jpg 740w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp27.7774-160x216.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 740px) 100vw, 740px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Fairly certain that Amanda Knox is a reincarnation of this woman. \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp27.7774)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Our next couple is clearly having the time of their lives, yes, but look where they’re doing it — all over the rubble of the 1906 earthquake. Like raging, fork-stealing psychopaths.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950530\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950530\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/earthqua.jpg\" alt=\"A Victorian couple gazes at each other and smiles while walking across piles of bricks and ruins.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"862\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/earthqua.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/earthqua-800x690.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/earthqua-160x138.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/earthqua-768x662.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">‘Babe, you’re so damn sexy that when I’m with you it feels, like, totally fine to dance on the rubble of other people’s hopes and dreams.’ ‘Same, Arnold. Same.’ \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp37.01299)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>I don’t want to make groundless accusations or anything but these two look like they’ve got a body hidden in their basement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950586\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 590px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950586\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp14.11172.jpg\" alt=\"A Victorian couple stands on the side of a road. \" width=\"590\" height=\"1000\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp14.11172.jpg 590w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp14.11172-160x271.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 590px) 100vw, 590px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">This was taken on the Great Highway circa 1910 — an excellent location to plot an escape strategy. Coincidence? \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp14.11172)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Don’t have a date this year? Please find comfort in this super-awkward double date that took place at the Premium Postal Studio at 1311 Fillmore Street in the 1910s.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950534\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950534\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1005.jpg\" alt=\"Two men and two women stand within a prop cutout that resembles a hot air balloon.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"740\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1005.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1005-800x592.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1005-160x118.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1005-768x568.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">This whole thing was masterminded by the guy on the left. You can just tell. \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp70.1005)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>These two are basically just in training for the haunting they’re going to do after they’ve crashed that car into the side of the house.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950575\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950575\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.03219.jpg\" alt=\"A Victorian couple sitting in an early automobile outside a large house.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"722\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.03219.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.03219-800x578.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.03219-160x116.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp37.03219-768x554.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Here we see a couple outside the McLaren Lodge on Stanyan Street in the 1910s. Ten bucks says they’re still there. \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp37.03219)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The photographer for this one really captured the unfiltered joy and unabashed closeness of this couple, didn’t he? Perfection!\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950576\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950576\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0174.jpg\" alt=\"A man and a woman pose inside a prop car in a photo studio. Turn of the century.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"667\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0174.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0174-800x534.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0174-160x107.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0174-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">I don’t know. Something about it just screams ‘I make her walk behind me in the street.’ \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp70.0174)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Look. \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/13866892/an-exhibit-explores-victorian-mourning-customs-ahead-of-halloween\">Victorian mourning garb\u003c/a> was weird and all, but letting anyone leave the house with half an emu on their head is just downright cruel and unusual. Bad husbanding, bro.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950533\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950533\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0977.jpg\" alt=\"A Victorian couple sits in front of an image of San Francisco's Cliff House. \" width=\"1000\" height=\"753\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0977.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0977-800x602.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0977-160x120.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.0977-768x578.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">‘What’s the secret to a good marriage? Being really, really into unfathomable hats.’ \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp70.0977)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Finally, there’s this wild and wacky couple from 1911. Bob’s letting his lady friend sit at the wheel of the car, sure, but you can practically hear the sound of his ego breaking under the weight of it. Clench that jaw a little tighter, my man!\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950539\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950539\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1012.jpg\" alt=\"A man and woman pose inside a car in front of a backdrop featuring San Francisco’s Cliff House.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"755\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1012.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1012-800x604.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1012-160x121.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1012-768x580.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">‘Our marriage was in real trouble for a while, but now, every two weeks or so, I let Meredith pretend-drive this prop car. Really gives her a sense of independence, you know?’ \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp70.1012)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! May you ignore everything that just happened and go find a wooden rendition of a donkey to have a cuddle on — just like these cutie pies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13950535\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1000px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13950535\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1026.jpg\" alt=\"A 1920s-era couple sits on a prop donkey in front of a backdrop of San Francisco's cliff house.\" width=\"1000\" height=\"783\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1026.jpg 1000w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1026-800x626.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1026-160x125.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/01/opensfhistory_wnp70.1026-768x601.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Relationship goals. \u003ccite>(OpenSFHistory / wnp70.1026)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13950526/san-francisco-couples-victorian-valentines-day-history-bay-area-portraits","authors":["11242"],"categories":["arts_1","arts_7862","arts_11615"],"tags":["arts_3931","arts_1146","arts_3923"],"featImg":"arts_13950580","label":"arts"},"arts_13930106":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13930106","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13930106","score":null,"sort":[1686073479000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"lesbian-love-story-unearths-a-century-of-queer-romance","title":"'Lesbian Love Story' Unearths a Century of Queer Romance","publishDate":1686073479,"format":"standard","headTitle":"‘Lesbian Love Story’ Unearths a Century of Queer Romance | KQED","labelTerm":{"term":140,"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cp>When publicist and writer Amelia Possanza moved to Brooklyn, N.Y., she found herself, for the first time, surrounded by queer stories — on historical placards, on her LGBTQ swim team and on her television screen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But these stories were rarely about lesbians — and even more rarely — lesbians \u003cem>in love\u003c/em>. So began Possanza’s journey into the archives to uncover the romances and role models written out of history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postid='arts_13930047']“I like to think of this project as me taking on being the publicist for lesbians,” Possanza tells me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Possanza’s book\u003cem> Lesbian Love Story: A Memoir in Archives\u003c/em> focuses on seven couples, each representing a different era in the 20th century. And, for the most part, they are not well-known figures.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s not, ‘Oh, here’s the story of how Eleanor Roosevelt was secretly a lesbian,’ or ‘Here is the story of Emily Dickinson, who was maybe in love with her brother’s wife,'” Possanza says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For her research, Possanza dove into the archives, searching for people who, she says, “lived daringly and left some record of living a queer life.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13930108\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13930108\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"A young woman with messy brown shoulder-length hair faces the camera. She is wearing round spectacles.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0-800x600.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0-160x120.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0-768x576.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0-1536x1151.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0.jpg 1645w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Author Amelia Possanza. \u003ccite>(Catapult)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>There’s also a surprising amount about swimming in the book. Part of that, Possanza says, could be her own bias. She swims for a gay and lesbian aquatic team in New York \u003ca href=\"https://www.tnya.org/\">(it’s actually the largest LGBTQ swim team in the world)\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another part is just feeling free in your own body.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postid='arts_13930013']“One sort of unexpected thing that came up for me in writing is there’s so much policing of what women, lesbians, queer people wore — and that policing actually became a way of just policing queerness in general,” Possanza says. “Today we have \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2023/05/25/1177727539/hamburger-marys-orlando-lawsuit-florida-desantis-drag-show\">drag bans in certain states\u003c/a>. And before those existed — before explicit terminology to ban these things — a lot of it was based on what you wore. And I think the beach was somewhere to be free of that, especially if you found a nude beach, if you could be in the water.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Possanza did not grow up with many stories about lesbians. But, she says they’re right there, even when the word is not used, even when that part of their story is erased.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I come from a really nerdy family of readers. My father is a classicist and my mother is a librarian. And I think they very much raised me to believe that if you’re going to have an experience and you’re nervous about it or you don’t know about it, you can go read a book about it,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s easy to find books about transitions that everyone goes through — getting ready for school or moving away from home. Now Possanza’s memoir fills a space long absent from bookshelves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I realized that there actually weren’t a lot of stories that I had about lesbians to guide me. And so I think doing this project made me start thinking about what gets you remembered, what generates records,” Possanza says. “You know, prisons generate records, governments generate records. Sometimes being in love doesn’t generate records.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postid='arts_13929396']But \u003ca href=\"https://outhistory.org/exhibits/show/casal\">Mary Casal\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.nyclgbtsites.org/site/mabel-hampton-residence/\">Mabel Hampton\u003c/a> did leave records. Casal met the love of her life in a hotel lobby in 1892 — and then wrote her own memoir. Hampton stayed with her partner for 40 years — and lent her voice to the \u003ca href=\"https://lesbianherstoryarchives.org/\">Lesbian Herstory Archives\u003c/a>, a New York City-based museum dedicated to preserving lesbian history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Too often, queer stories end in tragedy. What binds these stories together is how these lesbians create pockets of safety, security and community, even in the most hostile circumstances.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The audio and web versions of this story were edited by Reena Advani.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2023 NPR. To see more, \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">visit NPR\u003c/a>\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Lesbian+Love+Story%27+unearths+a+century+of+queer+romance&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">.\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Amelia Possanza's debut book ‘Lesbian Love Story: A Memoir in Archives’ chronicles queer couples throughout the 20th century.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705005413,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":18,"wordCount":679},"headData":{"title":"'Lesbian Love Story' Unearths a Century of Queer Romance | KQED","description":"Amelia Possanza's debut book ‘Lesbian Love Story: A Memoir in Archives’ chronicles queer couples throughout the 20th century.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"'Lesbian Love Story' Unearths a Century of Queer Romance","datePublished":"2023-06-06T17:44:39.000Z","dateModified":"2024-01-11T20:36:53.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"nprByline":"Julie Depenbrock","nprImageAgency":"Catapult","nprStoryId":"1179622122","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=1179622122&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/2023/06/06/1179622122/lesbian-love-story-unearths-a-century-of-queer-romance?ft=nprml&f=1179622122","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Tue, 06 Jun 2023 05:00:00 -0400","nprStoryDate":"Tue, 06 Jun 2023 05:00:29 -0400","nprLastModifiedDate":"Tue, 06 Jun 2023 05:00:29 -0400","templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/arts/13930106/lesbian-love-story-unearths-a-century-of-queer-romance","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>When publicist and writer Amelia Possanza moved to Brooklyn, N.Y., she found herself, for the first time, surrounded by queer stories — on historical placards, on her LGBTQ swim team and on her television screen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But these stories were rarely about lesbians — and even more rarely — lesbians \u003cem>in love\u003c/em>. So began Possanza’s journey into the archives to uncover the romances and role models written out of history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13930047","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>“I like to think of this project as me taking on being the publicist for lesbians,” Possanza tells me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Possanza’s book\u003cem> Lesbian Love Story: A Memoir in Archives\u003c/em> focuses on seven couples, each representing a different era in the 20th century. And, for the most part, they are not well-known figures.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s not, ‘Oh, here’s the story of how Eleanor Roosevelt was secretly a lesbian,’ or ‘Here is the story of Emily Dickinson, who was maybe in love with her brother’s wife,'” Possanza says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For her research, Possanza dove into the archives, searching for people who, she says, “lived daringly and left some record of living a queer life.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13930108\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13930108\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"A young woman with messy brown shoulder-length hair faces the camera. She is wearing round spectacles.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0-800x600.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0-160x120.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0-768x576.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0-1536x1151.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/06/amelia-possanza-author-photo-c-becca-farsace-for-arcs-and-final-copies-1-ce5cbd23237f9f48a668ae7f329cf30f189455f0.jpg 1645w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Author Amelia Possanza. \u003ccite>(Catapult)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>There’s also a surprising amount about swimming in the book. Part of that, Possanza says, could be her own bias. She swims for a gay and lesbian aquatic team in New York \u003ca href=\"https://www.tnya.org/\">(it’s actually the largest LGBTQ swim team in the world)\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another part is just feeling free in your own body.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13930013","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>“One sort of unexpected thing that came up for me in writing is there’s so much policing of what women, lesbians, queer people wore — and that policing actually became a way of just policing queerness in general,” Possanza says. “Today we have \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2023/05/25/1177727539/hamburger-marys-orlando-lawsuit-florida-desantis-drag-show\">drag bans in certain states\u003c/a>. And before those existed — before explicit terminology to ban these things — a lot of it was based on what you wore. And I think the beach was somewhere to be free of that, especially if you found a nude beach, if you could be in the water.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Possanza did not grow up with many stories about lesbians. But, she says they’re right there, even when the word is not used, even when that part of their story is erased.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I come from a really nerdy family of readers. My father is a classicist and my mother is a librarian. And I think they very much raised me to believe that if you’re going to have an experience and you’re nervous about it or you don’t know about it, you can go read a book about it,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s easy to find books about transitions that everyone goes through — getting ready for school or moving away from home. Now Possanza’s memoir fills a space long absent from bookshelves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I realized that there actually weren’t a lot of stories that I had about lesbians to guide me. And so I think doing this project made me start thinking about what gets you remembered, what generates records,” Possanza says. “You know, prisons generate records, governments generate records. Sometimes being in love doesn’t generate records.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13929396","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>But \u003ca href=\"https://outhistory.org/exhibits/show/casal\">Mary Casal\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.nyclgbtsites.org/site/mabel-hampton-residence/\">Mabel Hampton\u003c/a> did leave records. Casal met the love of her life in a hotel lobby in 1892 — and then wrote her own memoir. Hampton stayed with her partner for 40 years — and lent her voice to the \u003ca href=\"https://lesbianherstoryarchives.org/\">Lesbian Herstory Archives\u003c/a>, a New York City-based museum dedicated to preserving lesbian history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Too often, queer stories end in tragedy. What binds these stories together is how these lesbians create pockets of safety, security and community, even in the most hostile circumstances.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The audio and web versions of this story were edited by Reena Advani.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2023 NPR. To see more, \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">visit NPR\u003c/a>\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Lesbian+Love+Story%27+unearths+a+century+of+queer+romance&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">.\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13930106/lesbian-love-story-unearths-a-century-of-queer-romance","authors":["byline_arts_13930106"],"programs":["arts_140"],"categories":["arts_1","arts_73","arts_7862"],"tags":["arts_3226","arts_3931","arts_9054","arts_4506","arts_585"],"affiliates":["arts_137"],"featImg":"arts_13930110","label":"arts_140"},"arts_13925077":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13925077","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13925077","score":null,"sort":[1676336556000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"mystic-additional-love-black-history-month","title":"Why Hip-Hop Artist Mystic is Devoting February to Revolutionary Love","publishDate":1676336556,"format":"aside","headTitle":"Why Hip-Hop Artist Mystic is Devoting February to Revolutionary Love | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13906481\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13906481\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2-800x450.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2-160x90.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2-768x432.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">This month, hip-hop artist, educator and activist Mystic is making playlists, hosting discussions and dropping verses about the power of love. \u003ccite>(Nastia Voynovskaya/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Oakland hip-hop artist \u003ca href=\"https://mysticworldwide.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Mystic\u003c/a> is a deep thinker about many issues — the environment, social justice and healing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But connecting her activism, education work and art is love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Love is revolutionary,” said the Grammy-nominated artist and Oxford-educated community activist. “The only way that I believe that we can move forward is as a collective and grounded in love.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So as folks are likely thinking more about this on Valentine’s Day, Mystic has been running a programming series called Additional Love Month, and tying this in with what she calls Additional Black History Month in February.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The world is in need of more love, and I want to help with that,” she said on \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/reel/CoIRS6WDBRN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In trying to uplift and celebrate love in all its forms, Mystic has been \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/CoVeo72obV-/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">hosting discussions\u003c/a>, and posting love notes and verse performances of her own songs on Instagram. She has also been \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0HukqjZNH1u8qhry063lsS?si=7NhOuP3wRT2VhPf80eI80w&nd=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">curating a playlist\u003c/a> with contributions from her family, friends and collaborators.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She talked more about this with KQED morning host Brian Watt. [aside postid='arts_13906176']\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This interview has been edited for length and clarity.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRIAN WATT:\u003c/strong> This celebration of Additional Love Month is inspired in part by your latest work, which draws on the writings of bell hooks. Tell me more about that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>MYSTIC:\u003c/strong> [My album] \u003cem>Dreaming in Cursive: The Girl Who Loved Sparklers\u003c/em> is what I call my healed Black woman music. When I first started creating hip-hop, when I was 16, I was, what I call, a broken Black girl, having experienced sexual assault and just the kind of in and outs of daily life in the ’90s in Oakland. With this album, I was really intentional about wanting to create art and sound and visuals that are about affirmation, that are about love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so bell hooks, in her book \u003cem>All About Love\u003c/em>, which I encourage everyone to read multiple times across our lifetimes, it’s deeply striking to me because she’s exploring and examining love in a variety of different contexts, using her personal experiences, but also focusing on community, spirituality, on the connections between us. And even in the first chapter on clarity, she’s talking about our need to collectively define what does love mean. Love is nurturing and care, and it is in opposition to harm and to exploitation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://youtu.be/oOWb6An8pXg\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>My producer told me you almost called the album \u003cem>Love Songs\u003c/em>.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I wanted to call it that because every single song on the album is a love song, and whether it’s romantic or [like] in the song, “Here Alive,” I start off talking to young people and children around the world who may be living in slums, who are living lives in which we are often not valorized as people of color. And then I go on to speak to men and folks who are incarcerated, and then I go on and speak to my sisters and to women who have been oppressed and violated in the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But in saying “Here, Alive,” we need you here, alive, keep pushing on, it’s about that love that collectively we can move through this world in love with each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: 0; width: 100%; height: 120px;\" src=\"https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=1909652176/size=large/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/tracklist=false/artwork=small/track=3117910548/transparent=true/\" width=\"100%\" height=\"500\" scrolling=\"yes\" class=\"iframe-class\" frameborder=\"0\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>So what is it about the experience of writing love songs?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don’t think about them necessarily as far as love songs. They’re all love songs, right? But depending on what I’m writing, I’m not necessarily sitting down and going, okay, I’m going to write a romantic love song right now, or I’m going to write a love song for children or for the planet. And very often, as you said, these things are kind of mixed together in one piece of one piece of art. But, you know, I listen to the music, the production, and what does the music touch in my heart and in my spirit that opens up that story within me that needs to be told.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You grew up in Oakland. You live there now. What has the city taught you about love and how has it influenced your music?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My mother moved me to Oakland [in] ninth grade, summer. I was exposed to this really profound depth of sociopolitical thought that is a running thread in the community of Oakland, where the Black Panthers and others took it upon themselves to try to feed our communities and liberate our people and liberate our communities. That’s love. Love is liberation, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oakland taught me what it means to be devoted to your community, to be devoted to the alliances that can be made across physical borders of neighborhoods and ethnicities and races, and that we can be together. And there’s this feeling in Oakland, too, because so many families migrated from the South that is kind of like this relaxed, soothing place to be with this thriving, thriving life. And so it just it continues to inspire me everyday because there’s also such deep inequality.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It was also a beautiful time in hip-hop in Oakland. We were creating culture. At this time, we’ve got Souls of Mischief, we’ve got E-40 and The Click, and independent labels. A-plus from Souls of Mischief, his mom lived across the street from my mom, so I got to come up with Hieroglyphics and learn to freestyle with them. [aside postid='arts_13923938']\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At that time in my life, art saved my life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You have also asked people to give you suggestions on love songs as part of your \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0HukqjZNH1u8qhry063lsS?si=7NhOuP3wRT2VhPf80eI80w&nd=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Additional Love Month playlist\u003c/a>. What are some of the tracks that stand out to you?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I got sent some Beethoven. I got sent a lot of Sade “Cherish the Day.” But the range! It’s jazz, it’s country, it’s classical, it’s hip-hop, it’s soul. I’ve been really surprised by who sent me what — like hip-hop artists sent me country songs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Questlove sent me over some playlists that I could pull songs from. My momma, my cousin, my brother, all of those folks added in the songs as well. So I’m delighted. And just like Additional Love Month is going to be every month of February from this year going forward. I will do one of these collective playlists every year.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"To celebrate the healing power of love, she's hosting discussions, dropping verses and curating playlists.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705005850,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":true,"iframeSrcs":["https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=1909652176/size=large/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/tracklist=false/artwork=small/track=3117910548/transparent=true/"],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":27,"wordCount":1120},"headData":{"title":"Why Hip-Hop Artist Mystic is Devoting February to Revolutionary Love | KQED","description":"To celebrate the healing power of love, she's hosting discussions, dropping verses and curating playlists.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Why Hip-Hop Artist Mystic is Devoting February to Revolutionary Love","datePublished":"2023-02-14T01:02:36.000Z","dateModified":"2024-01-11T20:44:10.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"audioUrl":"https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/0af137ef-751e-4b19-a055-aaef00d2d578/ffca7e9f-6831-41c5-bcaf-aaef00f5a073/8cc0681a-6e3f-441a-b67e-afa901414633/audio.mp3","sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","articleAge":"0","path":"/arts/13925077/mystic-additional-love-black-history-month","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13906481\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13906481\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2-800x450.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2-160x90.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2-768x432.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/Mystic-2.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">This month, hip-hop artist, educator and activist Mystic is making playlists, hosting discussions and dropping verses about the power of love. \u003ccite>(Nastia Voynovskaya/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Oakland hip-hop artist \u003ca href=\"https://mysticworldwide.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Mystic\u003c/a> is a deep thinker about many issues — the environment, social justice and healing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But connecting her activism, education work and art is love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Love is revolutionary,” said the Grammy-nominated artist and Oxford-educated community activist. “The only way that I believe that we can move forward is as a collective and grounded in love.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So as folks are likely thinking more about this on Valentine’s Day, Mystic has been running a programming series called Additional Love Month, and tying this in with what she calls Additional Black History Month in February.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The world is in need of more love, and I want to help with that,” she said on \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/reel/CoIRS6WDBRN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In trying to uplift and celebrate love in all its forms, Mystic has been \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/CoVeo72obV-/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">hosting discussions\u003c/a>, and posting love notes and verse performances of her own songs on Instagram. She has also been \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0HukqjZNH1u8qhry063lsS?si=7NhOuP3wRT2VhPf80eI80w&nd=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">curating a playlist\u003c/a> with contributions from her family, friends and collaborators.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She talked more about this with KQED morning host Brian Watt. \u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13906176","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This interview has been edited for length and clarity.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRIAN WATT:\u003c/strong> This celebration of Additional Love Month is inspired in part by your latest work, which draws on the writings of bell hooks. Tell me more about that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>MYSTIC:\u003c/strong> [My album] \u003cem>Dreaming in Cursive: The Girl Who Loved Sparklers\u003c/em> is what I call my healed Black woman music. When I first started creating hip-hop, when I was 16, I was, what I call, a broken Black girl, having experienced sexual assault and just the kind of in and outs of daily life in the ’90s in Oakland. With this album, I was really intentional about wanting to create art and sound and visuals that are about affirmation, that are about love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so bell hooks, in her book \u003cem>All About Love\u003c/em>, which I encourage everyone to read multiple times across our lifetimes, it’s deeply striking to me because she’s exploring and examining love in a variety of different contexts, using her personal experiences, but also focusing on community, spirituality, on the connections between us. And even in the first chapter on clarity, she’s talking about our need to collectively define what does love mean. Love is nurturing and care, and it is in opposition to harm and to exploitation.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/oOWb6An8pXg'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/oOWb6An8pXg'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>My producer told me you almost called the album \u003cem>Love Songs\u003c/em>.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I wanted to call it that because every single song on the album is a love song, and whether it’s romantic or [like] in the song, “Here Alive,” I start off talking to young people and children around the world who may be living in slums, who are living lives in which we are often not valorized as people of color. And then I go on to speak to men and folks who are incarcerated, and then I go on and speak to my sisters and to women who have been oppressed and violated in the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But in saying “Here, Alive,” we need you here, alive, keep pushing on, it’s about that love that collectively we can move through this world in love with each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: 0; width: 100%; height: 120px;\" src=\"https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=1909652176/size=large/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/tracklist=false/artwork=small/track=3117910548/transparent=true/\" width=\"100%\" height=\"500\" scrolling=\"yes\" class=\"iframe-class\" frameborder=\"0\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>So what is it about the experience of writing love songs?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don’t think about them necessarily as far as love songs. They’re all love songs, right? But depending on what I’m writing, I’m not necessarily sitting down and going, okay, I’m going to write a romantic love song right now, or I’m going to write a love song for children or for the planet. And very often, as you said, these things are kind of mixed together in one piece of one piece of art. But, you know, I listen to the music, the production, and what does the music touch in my heart and in my spirit that opens up that story within me that needs to be told.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You grew up in Oakland. You live there now. What has the city taught you about love and how has it influenced your music?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My mother moved me to Oakland [in] ninth grade, summer. I was exposed to this really profound depth of sociopolitical thought that is a running thread in the community of Oakland, where the Black Panthers and others took it upon themselves to try to feed our communities and liberate our people and liberate our communities. That’s love. Love is liberation, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oakland taught me what it means to be devoted to your community, to be devoted to the alliances that can be made across physical borders of neighborhoods and ethnicities and races, and that we can be together. And there’s this feeling in Oakland, too, because so many families migrated from the South that is kind of like this relaxed, soothing place to be with this thriving, thriving life. And so it just it continues to inspire me everyday because there’s also such deep inequality.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It was also a beautiful time in hip-hop in Oakland. We were creating culture. At this time, we’ve got Souls of Mischief, we’ve got E-40 and The Click, and independent labels. A-plus from Souls of Mischief, his mom lived across the street from my mom, so I got to come up with Hieroglyphics and learn to freestyle with them. \u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13923938","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At that time in my life, art saved my life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You have also asked people to give you suggestions on love songs as part of your \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0HukqjZNH1u8qhry063lsS?si=7NhOuP3wRT2VhPf80eI80w&nd=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Additional Love Month playlist\u003c/a>. What are some of the tracks that stand out to you?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I got sent some Beethoven. I got sent a lot of Sade “Cherish the Day.” But the range! It’s jazz, it’s country, it’s classical, it’s hip-hop, it’s soul. I’ve been really surprised by who sent me what — like hip-hop artists sent me country songs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Questlove sent me over some playlists that I could pull songs from. My momma, my cousin, my brother, all of those folks added in the songs as well. So I’m delighted. And just like Additional Love Month is going to be every month of February from this year going forward. I will do one of these collective playlists every year.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13925077/mystic-additional-love-black-history-month","authors":["11238","11724"],"categories":["arts_69"],"tags":["arts_4096","arts_10278","arts_3931","arts_3477","arts_3923"],"featImg":"arts_13906481","label":"arts"},"arts_13921914":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13921914","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13921914","score":null,"sort":[1669852852000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"a-conversation-with-a-stranger-about-love","title":"A Conversation With a Stranger About Love","publishDate":1669852852,"format":"aside","headTitle":"A Conversation With a Stranger About Love | KQED","labelTerm":{},"content":"\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13922094\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/ConvoAboutLove.uncropped-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"A young woman, back to the camera, walks alone at night, illuminated by a lamp along a park path\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13922094\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/ConvoAboutLove.uncropped-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/ConvoAboutLove.uncropped-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/ConvoAboutLove.uncropped-160x107.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/ConvoAboutLove.uncropped-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/ConvoAboutLove.uncropped.jpg 1254w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">What does love’s fullness look and feel like? And how will I know that what I’m experiencing is the real thing? \u003ccite>(iStock)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This week, as we near the end of 2022, the writers and editors of KQED Arts & Culture are reflecting on \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/one-beautiful-thing\">One Beautiful Thing\u003c/a> from the year. Here, recalling a late-night chat with a stranger on the internet, intern Kristie Song reflects on love’s possibility, and the forms its arrival may take.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 4.6875em;float: left;line-height: 0.733em;padding: 0.05em 0.1em 0 0;font-family: times, serif, georgia\">I\u003c/span>n April, I asked a stranger what it felt like to be in love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As we sat in our dimly lit rooms miles away from each other, threaded together by a weak internet connection, Erik told me about the first time they had ever truly and profoundly felt in love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s just a feeling of fullness. A feeling of sunshine, of comfort, of warmth and safety that has never really left me since that relationship.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/Kristie.headshot.bio_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"182\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13922096\">I had asked because I’d never experienced this kind of love myself. Like a child trying to make sense of outer space, or insects, I leaned in and prodded. \u003ci>Why? How? And then what? \u003c/i>What does this fullness look and feel like? And how do I know that what I’m experiencing is the real thing?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’ve had hundreds of crushes over the years, but those brief minglings with affection and projected fantasies of love never lasted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In my first year of college, I hopped from dorm to dorm, avoiding my own as much as possible. One evening, I was resting on my friend’s bed when one of her roommates walked in, huffed and plopped herself beside me. “I had a shit day,” she said. “Can we cuddle?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’d never held someone or been held in this way, but nodded and turned to my side. She wrapped an arm around my torso tightly, pressing herself into me. I don’t remember how long it lasted, but my new and normally rambunctious friend was silent the whole time, her pulse steady in the small of my back, her breath even in the crook of my neck. That moment, in the quiet of that room, where our tired bodies met — did that constitute fullness?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the past, I projected love onto people who’d affirmed me in some way, who made me feel that my body and mind were of value. I yearned for a love that treasured what I loathed about myself, a voice to blanket the one inside my head that berated my every move, feature and action. (This is, perhaps, an impossible goal.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, in late March, I went to the theater to watch Joachim Trier’s \u003cem>The Worst Person in the World\u003c/em>. In the film, a woman not much older than I stumbles into relationship and relationship, seeking a kind of romantic salve to quiet her turbulent mind. Afterward, I walked the winding road home and thought of the ways I, too, had tried to convince people to love and “fix” me. How I yielded to kisses shared on unfamiliar beds and offered myself up emotionally, opening my heart wider and wider to others, telling myself that this is how I can properly give and receive romantic intimacy. When these people would inevitably leave, I searched for others to fill the fissures left behind, repeating the cycle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still, this urgency envelops my brain. \u003ci>I need to experience it now or I never will!\u003c/i> I want to know what love feels like, but how do I know I’ve stumbled upon something right when all I’ve come across are its caricatures? It’s like peering at a silhouette: you can gaze at its shape, its apparition, but all you can do is trace its outlines over and over, hoping in vain that the image will make itself clear someday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I told Erik about this, as we neared the end of our conversation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“You’ll know when it happens. It’s a feeling, it’s not a thought,” they replied. “It’s not like, ‘Okay, this checks all my boxes.’ It’s an emotional, visceral feeling of safety and trust, basically.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, I’ve laid my search for love to rest. I’m looking for something else. A feeling: the warm bubbling of easy laughter, the comfort of being able to speak openly and stumble over my words without the pressure to be witty or inquisitive in moments where I just want to be silent. I’m looking for contentment, something slow and sure and which doesn’t need convincing. I’m seeking intimacy that doesn’t harbor ulterior motives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’m seeking a love that doesn’t need to be earned, because after this year, I’m finally understanding that it never really needed to be.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"This year, I realized that love — slow and sure love — doesn't need convincing. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705006111,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":17,"wordCount":842},"headData":{"title":"A Conversation With a Stranger About Love | KQED","description":"This year, I realized that love — slow and sure love — doesn't need convincing. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"A Conversation With a Stranger About Love","datePublished":"2022-12-01T00:00:52.000Z","dateModified":"2024-01-11T20:48:31.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"source":"One Beautiful Thing from 2022","sourceUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/one-beautiful-thing","sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","path":"/arts/13921914/a-conversation-with-a-stranger-about-love","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13922094\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/ConvoAboutLove.uncropped-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"A young woman, back to the camera, walks alone at night, illuminated by a lamp along a park path\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13922094\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/ConvoAboutLove.uncropped-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/ConvoAboutLove.uncropped-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/ConvoAboutLove.uncropped-160x107.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/ConvoAboutLove.uncropped-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/ConvoAboutLove.uncropped.jpg 1254w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">What does love’s fullness look and feel like? And how will I know that what I’m experiencing is the real thing? \u003ccite>(iStock)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This week, as we near the end of 2022, the writers and editors of KQED Arts & Culture are reflecting on \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/tag/one-beautiful-thing\">One Beautiful Thing\u003c/a> from the year. Here, recalling a late-night chat with a stranger on the internet, intern Kristie Song reflects on love’s possibility, and the forms its arrival may take.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 4.6875em;float: left;line-height: 0.733em;padding: 0.05em 0.1em 0 0;font-family: times, serif, georgia\">I\u003c/span>n April, I asked a stranger what it felt like to be in love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As we sat in our dimly lit rooms miles away from each other, threaded together by a weak internet connection, Erik told me about the first time they had ever truly and profoundly felt in love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s just a feeling of fullness. A feeling of sunshine, of comfort, of warmth and safety that has never really left me since that relationship.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/11/Kristie.headshot.bio_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"182\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13922096\">I had asked because I’d never experienced this kind of love myself. Like a child trying to make sense of outer space, or insects, I leaned in and prodded. \u003ci>Why? How? And then what? \u003c/i>What does this fullness look and feel like? And how do I know that what I’m experiencing is the real thing?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’ve had hundreds of crushes over the years, but those brief minglings with affection and projected fantasies of love never lasted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In my first year of college, I hopped from dorm to dorm, avoiding my own as much as possible. One evening, I was resting on my friend’s bed when one of her roommates walked in, huffed and plopped herself beside me. “I had a shit day,” she said. “Can we cuddle?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’d never held someone or been held in this way, but nodded and turned to my side. She wrapped an arm around my torso tightly, pressing herself into me. I don’t remember how long it lasted, but my new and normally rambunctious friend was silent the whole time, her pulse steady in the small of my back, her breath even in the crook of my neck. That moment, in the quiet of that room, where our tired bodies met — did that constitute fullness?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the past, I projected love onto people who’d affirmed me in some way, who made me feel that my body and mind were of value. I yearned for a love that treasured what I loathed about myself, a voice to blanket the one inside my head that berated my every move, feature and action. (This is, perhaps, an impossible goal.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, in late March, I went to the theater to watch Joachim Trier’s \u003cem>The Worst Person in the World\u003c/em>. In the film, a woman not much older than I stumbles into relationship and relationship, seeking a kind of romantic salve to quiet her turbulent mind. Afterward, I walked the winding road home and thought of the ways I, too, had tried to convince people to love and “fix” me. How I yielded to kisses shared on unfamiliar beds and offered myself up emotionally, opening my heart wider and wider to others, telling myself that this is how I can properly give and receive romantic intimacy. When these people would inevitably leave, I searched for others to fill the fissures left behind, repeating the cycle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still, this urgency envelops my brain. \u003ci>I need to experience it now or I never will!\u003c/i> I want to know what love feels like, but how do I know I’ve stumbled upon something right when all I’ve come across are its caricatures? It’s like peering at a silhouette: you can gaze at its shape, its apparition, but all you can do is trace its outlines over and over, hoping in vain that the image will make itself clear someday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I told Erik about this, as we neared the end of our conversation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“You’ll know when it happens. It’s a feeling, it’s not a thought,” they replied. “It’s not like, ‘Okay, this checks all my boxes.’ It’s an emotional, visceral feeling of safety and trust, basically.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, I’ve laid my search for love to rest. I’m looking for something else. A feeling: the warm bubbling of easy laughter, the comfort of being able to speak openly and stumble over my words without the pressure to be witty or inquisitive in moments where I just want to be silent. I’m looking for contentment, something slow and sure and which doesn’t need convincing. I’m seeking intimacy that doesn’t harbor ulterior motives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’m seeking a love that doesn’t need to be earned, because after this year, I’m finally understanding that it never really needed to be.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13921914/a-conversation-with-a-stranger-about-love","authors":["11813"],"categories":["arts_1"],"tags":["arts_10342","arts_3931","arts_19127","arts_2391"],"featImg":"arts_13922093","label":"source_arts_13921914"},"arts_13909645":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13909645","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13909645","score":null,"sort":[1646430485000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"oakland-community-love","title":"Community Love: The Fuel For Fighting the Machine","publishDate":1646430485,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Community Love: The Fuel For Fighting the Machine | KQED","labelTerm":{},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 4.6875em;float: left;line-height: 0.733em;padding: 0.05em 0.1em 0 0;font-family: times, serif, georgia\">E\u003c/span>arlier this week, \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/mx.san_chez/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Maurice André San-Chez\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/craft_ed._x/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Moses Omolade\u003c/a>, an educator and school administrator who in February held a hunger strike \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11904278/teachers-and-families-rally-ahead-of-upcoming-vote-on-oakland-school-closures\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">to protest Oakland Unified School District’s proposed school closures\u003c/a> in predominantly Black and brown neighborhoods, returned to the location of their protest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-13833985\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2018/05/OGPenn.Cap_-160x184.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"184\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2018/05/OGPenn.Cap_-160x184.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2018/05/OGPenn.Cap_.jpg 180w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\">They cleaned the site at Westlake Middle School, held a restorative justice circle and planted two avocado trees. They chose the non-messy fruit that yields healthy fat after the duo asked themselves, “What’s a fruit that we both enjoy that can be really beneficial to the community?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Omolade and San-Chez’s hunger strike lasted \u003ca style=\"color: #41a62a\" href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/CaOMXP9Fcoe/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">20 days\u003c/a>, and left San-Chez hospitalized for a short period and Omolade requiring medical treatment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We initially went out on a hunger strike, and there was a deep, deep, \u003cem>deep\u003c/em> commitment to death,” Omolade tells me during a phone call. “That shit was, like, really wild, to look at one another in the face—and to look at ourselves individually—and be like: ‘I’m willing to die.'”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But that perspective shifted over time, and for that he’s grateful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He credits his changed perspective to community. The students and elders who visited them during the strike spoke words that resonated. “People were coming by,” Omolade says, “being like, ‘Hold up, what ya’ll are doing here is actually important for the longevity of this fight. So, if you can find it within yourselves, take a step back from a commitment to death—because these folks will allow you to die.'”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910134\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910134\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-800x600.jpeg\" alt=\"André San-Chez, Moses Omolade and community members pose for a photo after planting avocado trees in front of West Lake Middle school in Oakland.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-800x600.jpeg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-1020x765.jpeg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-160x120.jpeg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-768x576.jpeg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-1536x1152.jpeg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-2048x1536.jpeg 2048w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-1920x1440.jpeg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">André San-Chez, Moses Omolade and community members pose for a photo after planting avocado trees in front of West Lake Middle school in Oakland. \u003ccite>(Via Moses Omolade.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Along with San-Chez, Omolade is now recharging and strategizing. The fight is much larger, he says, than the closure of a few schools. It’s about systems of racism, structural oppression, and the privatization of schools and public land.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They’re currently gathering signatures to recall the school board seats of District 1 and District 7, held respectively by Benjamin “Sam” Davis and Clifford Thompson. And on \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/CaTM30GJJqY/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Saturday, March 5\u003c/a>, they’ll participate in a protest and march against the proposed East Oakland school closures—gathering at 1390 66th Ave. (the site of Coliseum Prep Academy) at 10am, marching at 11am, and arriving at International Community School with music and performances.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So much for rest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As of now, the school board \u003ca href=\"https://oaklandside.org/2022/02/09/oakland-school-board-votes-to-close-seven-schools-over-the-next-two-years/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">plans to close fewer schools\u003c/a> than initially suggested, but still closing seven schools. Despite that, I’m intrigued by San-chez and Omolade’s efforts. In effect, they were laying down in front of the machine and willing to die for their cause.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It resonated with me. Finding the fuel to keep fighting is something I had been struggling with for a while.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910127\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910127\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Artist, educator and friend Venus Morris stands by Lake Merritt at sunset while wearing a jacket with the logo of the Black Panther Party, made by MADOW FUTUR. \" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-800x600.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-160x120.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-768x576.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-2048x1536.jpg 2048w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-1920x1440.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Artist, educator and friend Venus Morris stands by Lake Merritt at sunset while wearing a jacket with the logo of the Black Panther Party, made by MADOW FUTUR. \u003ccite>(Pendarvis Harshaw)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 4.6875em;float: left;line-height: 0.733em;padding: 0.05em 0.1em 0 0;font-family: times, serif, georgia\">A\u003c/span>s February flew by, the Oakland school closures, war abroad, COVID’s sustained impact and a few interpersonal issues had been weighing on me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somehow, I still took a bunch of photos, from the first day of Black History Month to the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/13909853/black-joy-parade-2022-oakland-photos\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Black Joy Parade\u003c/a> on its final Sunday. Fly shots. Birthday smiles and nature blossoming. Memories etched in the digital archives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But there’s one image from February that sticks with me. I have no photo of it, but it paints a picture of my recent mind state.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At about 2pm on Feb. 5, I sat at the light on West Grand Avenue and Northgate Avenue in Oakland. A middle-aged African American man sporting a bomber jacket with “Security” printed across the back and the word “fuck” written above it in Sharpie started to cross the street.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The man halted after a few steps into the crosswalk and turned to square up with a white Tesla that, in its attempt to make a right turn, came too close for comfort.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I watched as the driver, an older white woman, threw her arms up and urged the man to move across the street. The man stood his ground with words I couldn’t hear, but with a posture I definitely recognized: he was daring the driver to do something. The car swerved far enough around him so as to not hit him, but close enough for the man to pull off a textbook right-legged roundhouse kick to the driver-side door as the car sped past.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The mental snapshot has been inside my dome ever since.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>He almost get run over by a machine 20 times his size, so he kicks it in protest. Only to see the machine turn and keep rollin’, while he’s left with an injured foot.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Add race and class to that simple synopsis, and it’s a metaphorical breakdown of what I see damn near everyday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910128\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910128\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-800x373.jpg\" alt=\"A mural by the Bay Area Mural Program located on 22nd Street, between Broadway and Valley Street in Oakland. \" width=\"800\" height=\"373\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-800x373.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-1020x476.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-160x75.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-768x358.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-1536x716.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-2048x955.jpg 2048w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-1920x895.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">A mural by the Bay Area Mural Program located on 22nd Street, between Broadway and Valley Street, in Oakland. \u003ccite>(Pendarvis Harshaw)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The intersection where the punt, pass and kick-a-Tesla competition went down is just around the corner from one of the larger unsheltered encampments in Oakland. For a solid few blocks, tents are strewn down Dr. Martin Luther King Way; a lot of African American folks over there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>How many? Well, we don’t know. But we do know that in 2019 about three out four of the 4,000 unsheltered people in Oakland were Black, according to the \u003ca href=\"https://cao-94612.s3.amazonaws.com/documents/2019-Oakland-Point-In-Time-Count-2-page-infographic.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Point in Time Count data from that year\u003c/a>. The first survey of unhoused individuals \u003ca href=\"https://www.eastbaytimes.com/2022/02/23/how-bad-is-it-for-first-time-in-3-years-bay-area-counts-homeless-residents/\">since the pandemic started\u003c/a> just got underway last month, so we’ll see the current numbers soon enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even without the data, the image is enough to make you want to punch one of the new luxury high-rises casting shadows over people living on the street.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Beyond the issue of finding basic housing for folks, there’s the problem of increased homicides in a number of major cities across the nation, including Oakland. Last week it was announced that \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2022/02/23/1082564685/guns-leading-cause-of-premature-deaths\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">firearms\u003c/a> are now the leading cause of premature death in America, and that \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2022/02/23/1082564685/guns-leading-cause-of-premature-deaths\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">younger Black males are the group most affected by homicide\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910129\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910129\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"A mural of the late Shock G (aka Humpty Hump) located at Frank Ogawa Plaza, painted by Kufue. \" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-800x600.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-160x120.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-768x576.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-2048x1536.jpg 2048w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-1920x1440.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">A mural of the late Shock G (a.k.a. Humpty Hump) located at Frank Ogawa Plaza, painted by Kufue. \u003ccite>(Pendarvis Harshaw)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Add to that a few interpersonal issues of loneliness and detachment that often come during the winter months, plus news of international war and the potential for a third year of a pandemic, and you can see why being an arts writer and covering the latest rapper with a hot mixtape isn’t always inspiring work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I quit my job like three times since Jan. 1. I’m tired of kicking the machine to keep it from running us over. It always swerves and drives away. \u003cem>The work ain’t working.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So I quit. Well, mentally. I’m not officially part of \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2021/06/24/1007914455/as-the-pandemic-recedes-millions-of-workers-are-saying-i-quit\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">the great resignation\u003c/a>, but similar circumstances. Call it burnout, fatigue, soul-searching or whatever you want, but man, I struggled just sending emails. Gravity got really heavy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910131\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910131\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/49A488F7-44C2-4DA1-A491-A9AD2EB4768F-800x537.jpg\" alt=\"Filmmaker, poet and friend Nijla Mu'min poses for a photo in front of a mural that reads Oakland Dreams, by Trust Your Struggle. \" width=\"800\" height=\"537\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/49A488F7-44C2-4DA1-A491-A9AD2EB4768F-800x537.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/49A488F7-44C2-4DA1-A491-A9AD2EB4768F-1020x685.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/49A488F7-44C2-4DA1-A491-A9AD2EB4768F-160x107.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/49A488F7-44C2-4DA1-A491-A9AD2EB4768F-768x516.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/49A488F7-44C2-4DA1-A491-A9AD2EB4768F.jpg 1440w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Filmmaker, poet and friend Nijla Mu’min poses for a photo in front of a mural that reads Oakland Dreams, by Trust Your Struggle. \u003ccite>(Pendarvis Harshaw)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 4.6875em;float: left;line-height: 0.733em;padding: 0.05em 0.1em 0 0;font-family: times, serif, georgia\">T\u003c/span>rying to kickstart my ambition the day of the great electric car-kick-and-connection, I was on assignment: taking over KQED Arts’ Instagram stories to give a glimpse into “a day in the life” of what it’s like for me running around town. I figured some inspiration might find me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I posted images of murals and matched them with music from local artists. A shared a quick meeting with a movie maker named \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/CZuxRowBvBh/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Nijla Mu’min\u003c/a>, who shared her message about her forthcoming film named after Mosswood. A few shots taken by Lake Merritt at sunset.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then it was time for the evening’s main event: a retirement celebration for the former head of East Oakland Youth Development Center, Ms. Regina Jackson. I stood in the back of the room, underdressed and hiding behind my camera, as the decadent Rotunda building in Oakland’s Frank Ogawa Plaza swelled with elected officials and community members praising Ms. Regina’s 27 years of fighting against the machine.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910137\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910137\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/JacksonRetirement_15266-800x532.jpeg\" alt=\"Ms. Regina Jackson receives a standing ovation during her retirement party. \" width=\"800\" height=\"532\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/JacksonRetirement_15266-800x532.jpeg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/JacksonRetirement_15266-1020x678.jpeg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/JacksonRetirement_15266-160x106.jpeg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/JacksonRetirement_15266-768x511.jpeg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/JacksonRetirement_15266.jpeg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Ms. Regina Jackson receives a standing ovation during her retirement party. \u003ccite>(Via EOYDC)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>I’ve seen Ms. Regina’s work in Deep East Oakland and in the Far East. In 2014, I served as chaperone on a trip where she took a group of young African American men to China. I didn’t get a chance to give her a hug and some appreciation at her retirement celebration, but if I had, I couldn’t have thanked her enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I posted a beautiful dance performance by educator and artist \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/queen_iminah/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Queen Imïnah\u003c/a>, and I headed home. There were a bunch of photos left untaken that day, more than just the assault of the battery-charged car.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While en route to Ms. Regina’s celebration, for example, I passed something else that lingered on my mind all month: Westlake Middle School, where Omolade and San-chez held their hunger strike. I saw their tents, and didn’t stop. But I followed their story all month.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I finally I talked to Omolade earlier this week, the first thing I did was apologize for not covering their story earlier. At the end of our talk, I told him about the interaction at the intersection—the man kicking the Tesla. Omolade knew about tenacity. I asked him: how do you \u003cem>keep\u003c/em> fighting the system? I figured that someone who was willing to die for what they believe in might have some guidance for a struggling writer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His answer?\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910135\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910135\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-04-at-10.01.31-AM-800x1004.png\" alt=\"Maurice André San-Chez and Moses Omolade receive medical attention from community members during their hunger strike. \" width=\"800\" height=\"1004\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-04-at-10.01.31-AM-800x1004.png 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-04-at-10.01.31-AM-160x201.png 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-04-at-10.01.31-AM-768x964.png 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-04-at-10.01.31-AM.png 986w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Maurice André San-Chez and Moses Omolade receive medical attention from community members during their hunger strike. \u003ccite>(Via Moses Omolade )\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>“Love,” said Omolade. “Love was centered, big time. The community really centered love—and it is currently centered. It’s continuously the fire that we use.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know what might be wiser than trying to kick against a machine? Investing in organizing, strategizing and community—specifically community love. Note to self.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Ever feel like kicking a Tesla?","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705007124,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":39,"wordCount":1784},"headData":{"title":"Community Love: The Fuel For Fighting the Machine | KQED","description":"Ever feel like kicking a Tesla?","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Community Love: The Fuel For Fighting the Machine","datePublished":"2022-03-04T21:48:05.000Z","dateModified":"2024-01-11T21:05:24.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"source":"Commentary","sourceUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/artscommentary","sticky":false,"WpOldSlug":"community-love-the-fuel-for-fighting-the-machine","templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","path":"/arts/13909645/oakland-community-love","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 4.6875em;float: left;line-height: 0.733em;padding: 0.05em 0.1em 0 0;font-family: times, serif, georgia\">E\u003c/span>arlier this week, \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/mx.san_chez/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Maurice André San-Chez\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/craft_ed._x/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Moses Omolade\u003c/a>, an educator and school administrator who in February held a hunger strike \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11904278/teachers-and-families-rally-ahead-of-upcoming-vote-on-oakland-school-closures\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">to protest Oakland Unified School District’s proposed school closures\u003c/a> in predominantly Black and brown neighborhoods, returned to the location of their protest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-13833985\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2018/05/OGPenn.Cap_-160x184.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"184\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2018/05/OGPenn.Cap_-160x184.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2018/05/OGPenn.Cap_.jpg 180w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\">They cleaned the site at Westlake Middle School, held a restorative justice circle and planted two avocado trees. They chose the non-messy fruit that yields healthy fat after the duo asked themselves, “What’s a fruit that we both enjoy that can be really beneficial to the community?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Omolade and San-Chez’s hunger strike lasted \u003ca style=\"color: #41a62a\" href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/CaOMXP9Fcoe/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">20 days\u003c/a>, and left San-Chez hospitalized for a short period and Omolade requiring medical treatment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We initially went out on a hunger strike, and there was a deep, deep, \u003cem>deep\u003c/em> commitment to death,” Omolade tells me during a phone call. “That shit was, like, really wild, to look at one another in the face—and to look at ourselves individually—and be like: ‘I’m willing to die.'”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But that perspective shifted over time, and for that he’s grateful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He credits his changed perspective to community. The students and elders who visited them during the strike spoke words that resonated. “People were coming by,” Omolade says, “being like, ‘Hold up, what ya’ll are doing here is actually important for the longevity of this fight. So, if you can find it within yourselves, take a step back from a commitment to death—because these folks will allow you to die.'”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910134\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910134\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-800x600.jpeg\" alt=\"André San-Chez, Moses Omolade and community members pose for a photo after planting avocado trees in front of West Lake Middle school in Oakland.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-800x600.jpeg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-1020x765.jpeg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-160x120.jpeg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-768x576.jpeg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-1536x1152.jpeg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-2048x1536.jpeg 2048w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_3159-1920x1440.jpeg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">André San-Chez, Moses Omolade and community members pose for a photo after planting avocado trees in front of West Lake Middle school in Oakland. \u003ccite>(Via Moses Omolade.)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Along with San-Chez, Omolade is now recharging and strategizing. The fight is much larger, he says, than the closure of a few schools. It’s about systems of racism, structural oppression, and the privatization of schools and public land.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They’re currently gathering signatures to recall the school board seats of District 1 and District 7, held respectively by Benjamin “Sam” Davis and Clifford Thompson. And on \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/CaTM30GJJqY/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Saturday, March 5\u003c/a>, they’ll participate in a protest and march against the proposed East Oakland school closures—gathering at 1390 66th Ave. (the site of Coliseum Prep Academy) at 10am, marching at 11am, and arriving at International Community School with music and performances.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So much for rest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As of now, the school board \u003ca href=\"https://oaklandside.org/2022/02/09/oakland-school-board-votes-to-close-seven-schools-over-the-next-two-years/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">plans to close fewer schools\u003c/a> than initially suggested, but still closing seven schools. Despite that, I’m intrigued by San-chez and Omolade’s efforts. In effect, they were laying down in front of the machine and willing to die for their cause.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It resonated with me. Finding the fuel to keep fighting is something I had been struggling with for a while.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910127\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910127\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Artist, educator and friend Venus Morris stands by Lake Merritt at sunset while wearing a jacket with the logo of the Black Panther Party, made by MADOW FUTUR. \" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-800x600.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-160x120.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-768x576.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-2048x1536.jpg 2048w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7498-1920x1440.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Artist, educator and friend Venus Morris stands by Lake Merritt at sunset while wearing a jacket with the logo of the Black Panther Party, made by MADOW FUTUR. \u003ccite>(Pendarvis Harshaw)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 4.6875em;float: left;line-height: 0.733em;padding: 0.05em 0.1em 0 0;font-family: times, serif, georgia\">A\u003c/span>s February flew by, the Oakland school closures, war abroad, COVID’s sustained impact and a few interpersonal issues had been weighing on me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somehow, I still took a bunch of photos, from the first day of Black History Month to the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/13909853/black-joy-parade-2022-oakland-photos\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Black Joy Parade\u003c/a> on its final Sunday. Fly shots. Birthday smiles and nature blossoming. Memories etched in the digital archives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But there’s one image from February that sticks with me. I have no photo of it, but it paints a picture of my recent mind state.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At about 2pm on Feb. 5, I sat at the light on West Grand Avenue and Northgate Avenue in Oakland. A middle-aged African American man sporting a bomber jacket with “Security” printed across the back and the word “fuck” written above it in Sharpie started to cross the street.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The man halted after a few steps into the crosswalk and turned to square up with a white Tesla that, in its attempt to make a right turn, came too close for comfort.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I watched as the driver, an older white woman, threw her arms up and urged the man to move across the street. The man stood his ground with words I couldn’t hear, but with a posture I definitely recognized: he was daring the driver to do something. The car swerved far enough around him so as to not hit him, but close enough for the man to pull off a textbook right-legged roundhouse kick to the driver-side door as the car sped past.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The mental snapshot has been inside my dome ever since.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>He almost get run over by a machine 20 times his size, so he kicks it in protest. Only to see the machine turn and keep rollin’, while he’s left with an injured foot.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Add race and class to that simple synopsis, and it’s a metaphorical breakdown of what I see damn near everyday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910128\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910128\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-800x373.jpg\" alt=\"A mural by the Bay Area Mural Program located on 22nd Street, between Broadway and Valley Street in Oakland. \" width=\"800\" height=\"373\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-800x373.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-1020x476.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-160x75.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-768x358.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-1536x716.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-2048x955.jpg 2048w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7455-1920x895.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">A mural by the Bay Area Mural Program located on 22nd Street, between Broadway and Valley Street, in Oakland. \u003ccite>(Pendarvis Harshaw)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The intersection where the punt, pass and kick-a-Tesla competition went down is just around the corner from one of the larger unsheltered encampments in Oakland. For a solid few blocks, tents are strewn down Dr. Martin Luther King Way; a lot of African American folks over there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>How many? Well, we don’t know. But we do know that in 2019 about three out four of the 4,000 unsheltered people in Oakland were Black, according to the \u003ca href=\"https://cao-94612.s3.amazonaws.com/documents/2019-Oakland-Point-In-Time-Count-2-page-infographic.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Point in Time Count data from that year\u003c/a>. The first survey of unhoused individuals \u003ca href=\"https://www.eastbaytimes.com/2022/02/23/how-bad-is-it-for-first-time-in-3-years-bay-area-counts-homeless-residents/\">since the pandemic started\u003c/a> just got underway last month, so we’ll see the current numbers soon enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even without the data, the image is enough to make you want to punch one of the new luxury high-rises casting shadows over people living on the street.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Beyond the issue of finding basic housing for folks, there’s the problem of increased homicides in a number of major cities across the nation, including Oakland. Last week it was announced that \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2022/02/23/1082564685/guns-leading-cause-of-premature-deaths\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">firearms\u003c/a> are now the leading cause of premature death in America, and that \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2022/02/23/1082564685/guns-leading-cause-of-premature-deaths\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">younger Black males are the group most affected by homicide\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910129\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910129\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"A mural of the late Shock G (aka Humpty Hump) located at Frank Ogawa Plaza, painted by Kufue. \" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-800x600.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-160x120.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-768x576.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-2048x1536.jpg 2048w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/IMG_7510-1920x1440.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">A mural of the late Shock G (a.k.a. Humpty Hump) located at Frank Ogawa Plaza, painted by Kufue. \u003ccite>(Pendarvis Harshaw)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Add to that a few interpersonal issues of loneliness and detachment that often come during the winter months, plus news of international war and the potential for a third year of a pandemic, and you can see why being an arts writer and covering the latest rapper with a hot mixtape isn’t always inspiring work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I quit my job like three times since Jan. 1. I’m tired of kicking the machine to keep it from running us over. It always swerves and drives away. \u003cem>The work ain’t working.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So I quit. Well, mentally. I’m not officially part of \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2021/06/24/1007914455/as-the-pandemic-recedes-millions-of-workers-are-saying-i-quit\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">the great resignation\u003c/a>, but similar circumstances. Call it burnout, fatigue, soul-searching or whatever you want, but man, I struggled just sending emails. Gravity got really heavy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910131\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910131\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/49A488F7-44C2-4DA1-A491-A9AD2EB4768F-800x537.jpg\" alt=\"Filmmaker, poet and friend Nijla Mu'min poses for a photo in front of a mural that reads Oakland Dreams, by Trust Your Struggle. \" width=\"800\" height=\"537\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/49A488F7-44C2-4DA1-A491-A9AD2EB4768F-800x537.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/49A488F7-44C2-4DA1-A491-A9AD2EB4768F-1020x685.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/49A488F7-44C2-4DA1-A491-A9AD2EB4768F-160x107.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/49A488F7-44C2-4DA1-A491-A9AD2EB4768F-768x516.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/49A488F7-44C2-4DA1-A491-A9AD2EB4768F.jpg 1440w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Filmmaker, poet and friend Nijla Mu’min poses for a photo in front of a mural that reads Oakland Dreams, by Trust Your Struggle. \u003ccite>(Pendarvis Harshaw)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 4.6875em;float: left;line-height: 0.733em;padding: 0.05em 0.1em 0 0;font-family: times, serif, georgia\">T\u003c/span>rying to kickstart my ambition the day of the great electric car-kick-and-connection, I was on assignment: taking over KQED Arts’ Instagram stories to give a glimpse into “a day in the life” of what it’s like for me running around town. I figured some inspiration might find me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I posted images of murals and matched them with music from local artists. A shared a quick meeting with a movie maker named \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/CZuxRowBvBh/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Nijla Mu’min\u003c/a>, who shared her message about her forthcoming film named after Mosswood. A few shots taken by Lake Merritt at sunset.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then it was time for the evening’s main event: a retirement celebration for the former head of East Oakland Youth Development Center, Ms. Regina Jackson. I stood in the back of the room, underdressed and hiding behind my camera, as the decadent Rotunda building in Oakland’s Frank Ogawa Plaza swelled with elected officials and community members praising Ms. Regina’s 27 years of fighting against the machine.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910137\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910137\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/JacksonRetirement_15266-800x532.jpeg\" alt=\"Ms. Regina Jackson receives a standing ovation during her retirement party. \" width=\"800\" height=\"532\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/JacksonRetirement_15266-800x532.jpeg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/JacksonRetirement_15266-1020x678.jpeg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/JacksonRetirement_15266-160x106.jpeg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/JacksonRetirement_15266-768x511.jpeg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/JacksonRetirement_15266.jpeg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Ms. Regina Jackson receives a standing ovation during her retirement party. \u003ccite>(Via EOYDC)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>I’ve seen Ms. Regina’s work in Deep East Oakland and in the Far East. In 2014, I served as chaperone on a trip where she took a group of young African American men to China. I didn’t get a chance to give her a hug and some appreciation at her retirement celebration, but if I had, I couldn’t have thanked her enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I posted a beautiful dance performance by educator and artist \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/queen_iminah/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Queen Imïnah\u003c/a>, and I headed home. There were a bunch of photos left untaken that day, more than just the assault of the battery-charged car.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While en route to Ms. Regina’s celebration, for example, I passed something else that lingered on my mind all month: Westlake Middle School, where Omolade and San-chez held their hunger strike. I saw their tents, and didn’t stop. But I followed their story all month.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I finally I talked to Omolade earlier this week, the first thing I did was apologize for not covering their story earlier. At the end of our talk, I told him about the interaction at the intersection—the man kicking the Tesla. Omolade knew about tenacity. I asked him: how do you \u003cem>keep\u003c/em> fighting the system? I figured that someone who was willing to die for what they believe in might have some guidance for a struggling writer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His answer?\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13910135\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13910135\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-04-at-10.01.31-AM-800x1004.png\" alt=\"Maurice André San-Chez and Moses Omolade receive medical attention from community members during their hunger strike. \" width=\"800\" height=\"1004\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-04-at-10.01.31-AM-800x1004.png 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-04-at-10.01.31-AM-160x201.png 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-04-at-10.01.31-AM-768x964.png 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-04-at-10.01.31-AM.png 986w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Maurice André San-Chez and Moses Omolade receive medical attention from community members during their hunger strike. \u003ccite>(Via Moses Omolade )\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>“Love,” said Omolade. “Love was centered, big time. The community really centered love—and it is currently centered. It’s continuously the fire that we use.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know what might be wiser than trying to kick against a machine? Investing in organizing, strategizing and community—specifically community love. Note to self.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13909645/oakland-community-love","authors":["11491"],"categories":["arts_1","arts_2303","arts_835"],"tags":["arts_11374","arts_14452","arts_2767","arts_10278","arts_1355","arts_3931","arts_3851","arts_1143","arts_7292","arts_9159","arts_3901"],"featImg":"arts_13910051","label":"source_arts_13909645"},"arts_13892534":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13892534","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13892534","score":null,"sort":[1613158897000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"finding-acceptance-and-self-love-in-a-naturalist-community","title":"Finding Acceptance—and Self-Love—in a Naturist Community","publishDate":1613158897,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Finding Acceptance—and Self-Love—in a Naturist Community | KQED","labelTerm":{},"content":"\u003cp>\u003ci>It’s Tuesday morning and my phone is ringing. Before even looking at the screen, I know it’s my sister, Erikka. Every week for the past six months or so, my sister has spent 10 minutes telling me about her weekend escapades. The accounts are adventurous, liberating, and oddly enough, about love.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>My sister, a mother of two, has been through some harrowing experiences. Just about all of the foul things a young woman can be involved in while growing up in the inner city—from selling sex to selling crack—she’s done it. And she’s open about how those experiences have left marks on her, physically, mentally, and emotionally.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Now recently married, my sister’s phone calls aren’t about the pain she’s experienced, and really aren’t about the romantic relationship she and her partner share. They’re more about her discovery of a loving community. And most importantly, her stories are about an East Oakland girl finding self-love near the Santa Cruz Mountains.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Because it’s her story, I figured she’d be the best person to tell it.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>—Pendarvis Harshaw\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13892748\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13892748\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_-800x555.jpg\" alt=\"Erikka Ransom and husband Dom at Lake Merritt in Oakland.\" width=\"800\" height=\"555\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_-800x555.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_-1020x708.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_-160x111.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_-768x533.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_-1536x1066.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_.jpg 1556w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Erikka Ransom and husband Dom at Lake Merritt in Oakland. \u003ccite>(Pendarvis Harshaw)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Love… We tend to throw the word around like confetti, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">but it means more and comes with so much responsibility. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I found my love when I was only 15. He was my neighbor, my friend, and the love of my life, even though he didn’t know it yet. We grew up together and separated when both our families moved from the Skyline Hills Apartment complex in the East Oakland hills. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We individually went through a great deal of hurt during our lives. Hard times financially, run-ins with the law, and relationships that scarred us for life.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In adulthood, we talked periodically, remaining good friends. We’d often discuss our relationships, and how they were missing \u003cem>something\u003c/em>. We were both suffering, both missing love.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">My last relationship ended after 11 years—there was no love there for me. His 20-year relationship ended just before mine.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">About four years ago I saw the love of my life again. I was driving down the street near Foothill Square in East Oakland. I had just moved into an apartment in the neighborhood. About a block away from my new home, I saw him outside taking a break from work. I almost left the car in drive as I jumped out! Happiness rushed back into my heart as I remembered love again. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Despite the pandemic, we married on July 27, 2020. We wanted to be together forever, so much that we held a small ceremony in our backyard, over an iPad, with the Justice of Peace. It was beautiful. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13892739\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13892739\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.jpg\" alt=\"Erikka Ransom and husband Dom, pictured together.\" width=\"800\" height=\"804\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka-160x161.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka-768x772.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Erikka Ransom and husband Dom, pictured together. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Erikka Ransom)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We’re both lovers of camping; time spent in nature actually helped solidify our relationship. We decided to find a place to enjoy the outdoors during the shelter-in-place orders. But most campsites were closed.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And then we found a place that was unlike any other: \u003ca href=\"https://www.lupinlodge.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lupin Lodge\u003c/a>. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is a community that welcomes newcomers with open arms. We started going in August and we’ve been back every weekend, just because of the love we feel. The first day we were there, people invited us to eat with them, and asked if we needed anything. They even recited poems just to help us relax in a new environment. It was amazing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I have to mention that Lupin is a “naturist community,” where people are free to be nude, so it was a little different than the camping experiences we’ve had in the past. During previous camping trips to places like Lake Camanche, I’d jump in the lake naked when no one was around. So once I found a place where I could walk around naked without having the police called on me, I was down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There’s nothing sexual about it. It’s about being free. You feel the nature, and the love from everyone around you. And best of all: there’s no judgement. You could be fat, skinny or whatever, and people are just accepting. I’ve been self-conscious of my stretch marks for a long time, and I didn’t feel that when I was out there. I don’t know if I’ve ever been to a place where I felt no judgement, even when I’m fully clothed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13892752\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 320px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13892752\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Lupin.jpg\" alt=\"Lupin Lodge. \" width=\"320\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Lupin.jpg 320w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Lupin-160x200.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 320px) 100vw, 320px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Lupin Lodge. \u003ccite>(Yelp)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>My husband, Dom, is a man’s man: a barber and Mustang driver. He was able to stand naked, and give handshakes and hugs to other naked men without feeling any type of way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The experience was never weird or uncomfortable, like the movies about stereotypical “nudist colonies.” It was like meeting a family you didn’t know for the first time. And taking no time in really getting to \u003cem>know \u003c/em>them. People do yoga and play sports, sing songs and break bread. Most of all, people simply spread love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We’ve recently purchased an RV trailer and more camping equipment, and now we make the trek from the East Bay to the Santa Cruz area weekly. Each time it’s refreshing to get away, if only for just a little while. The new family we have now has given us something to look forward to on the weekends; a blessing during these times.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s also made me question: where does love come from? In my life, I’ve learned that it’s possible to feel love from others, just as it’s possible to feel hate. They’re both strong feelings that people can sense, almost like pheromones.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And there’s also people who are able to send “fake love,” feelings that damage peoples’ ability to sense and accept real love. I experienced a lot of fake love in my life, and it’s refreshing to find the real thing. It takes time to find out what’s really real. Trips to nature, and being in your natural state can help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In my opinion, the easiest way to decipher the real from the fake is that when you question love, maybe you should let it go. And when you feel love with your whole heart—be it the love of a person or a place—embrace it and give love back in return.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Love to all.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cem>—Erikka Ransom\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-12127869\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Correction: The original version of this story inaccurately referred to Lupin Lodge as a “naturalist community,” rather than a “naturist community.” The story has been edited to correct the term.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"After a life in the inner city, Erikka Ransom found a welcoming community in the Santa Cruz mountains.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705019477,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":29,"wordCount":1166},"headData":{"title":"Finding Acceptance—and Self-Love—in a Naturist Community | KQED","description":"After a life in the inner city, Erikka Ransom found a welcoming community in the Santa Cruz mountains.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Finding Acceptance—and Self-Love—in a Naturist Community","datePublished":"2021-02-12T19:41:37.000Z","dateModified":"2024-01-12T00:31:17.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"source":"Commentary","sticky":false,"nprByline":"Pendarvis Harshaw and Erikka Ransom","templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/arts/13892534/finding-acceptance-and-self-love-in-a-naturalist-community","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ci>It’s Tuesday morning and my phone is ringing. Before even looking at the screen, I know it’s my sister, Erikka. Every week for the past six months or so, my sister has spent 10 minutes telling me about her weekend escapades. The accounts are adventurous, liberating, and oddly enough, about love.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>My sister, a mother of two, has been through some harrowing experiences. Just about all of the foul things a young woman can be involved in while growing up in the inner city—from selling sex to selling crack—she’s done it. And she’s open about how those experiences have left marks on her, physically, mentally, and emotionally.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Now recently married, my sister’s phone calls aren’t about the pain she’s experienced, and really aren’t about the romantic relationship she and her partner share. They’re more about her discovery of a loving community. And most importantly, her stories are about an East Oakland girl finding self-love near the Santa Cruz Mountains.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Because it’s her story, I figured she’d be the best person to tell it.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>—Pendarvis Harshaw\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13892748\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13892748\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_-800x555.jpg\" alt=\"Erikka Ransom and husband Dom at Lake Merritt in Oakland.\" width=\"800\" height=\"555\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_-800x555.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_-1020x708.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_-160x111.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_-768x533.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_-1536x1066.jpg 1536w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.Lake_.jpg 1556w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Erikka Ransom and husband Dom at Lake Merritt in Oakland. \u003ccite>(Pendarvis Harshaw)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Love… We tend to throw the word around like confetti, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">but it means more and comes with so much responsibility. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I found my love when I was only 15. He was my neighbor, my friend, and the love of my life, even though he didn’t know it yet. We grew up together and separated when both our families moved from the Skyline Hills Apartment complex in the East Oakland hills. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We individually went through a great deal of hurt during our lives. Hard times financially, run-ins with the law, and relationships that scarred us for life.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In adulthood, we talked periodically, remaining good friends. We’d often discuss our relationships, and how they were missing \u003cem>something\u003c/em>. We were both suffering, both missing love.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">My last relationship ended after 11 years—there was no love there for me. His 20-year relationship ended just before mine.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">About four years ago I saw the love of my life again. I was driving down the street near Foothill Square in East Oakland. I had just moved into an apartment in the neighborhood. About a block away from my new home, I saw him outside taking a break from work. I almost left the car in drive as I jumped out! Happiness rushed back into my heart as I remembered love again. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Despite the pandemic, we married on July 27, 2020. We wanted to be together forever, so much that we held a small ceremony in our backyard, over an iPad, with the Justice of Peace. It was beautiful. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13892739\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13892739\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.jpg\" alt=\"Erikka Ransom and husband Dom, pictured together.\" width=\"800\" height=\"804\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka-160x161.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Erikka-768x772.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Erikka Ransom and husband Dom, pictured together. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Erikka Ransom)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We’re both lovers of camping; time spent in nature actually helped solidify our relationship. We decided to find a place to enjoy the outdoors during the shelter-in-place orders. But most campsites were closed.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And then we found a place that was unlike any other: \u003ca href=\"https://www.lupinlodge.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Lupin Lodge\u003c/a>. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is a community that welcomes newcomers with open arms. We started going in August and we’ve been back every weekend, just because of the love we feel. The first day we were there, people invited us to eat with them, and asked if we needed anything. They even recited poems just to help us relax in a new environment. It was amazing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I have to mention that Lupin is a “naturist community,” where people are free to be nude, so it was a little different than the camping experiences we’ve had in the past. During previous camping trips to places like Lake Camanche, I’d jump in the lake naked when no one was around. So once I found a place where I could walk around naked without having the police called on me, I was down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There’s nothing sexual about it. It’s about being free. You feel the nature, and the love from everyone around you. And best of all: there’s no judgement. You could be fat, skinny or whatever, and people are just accepting. I’ve been self-conscious of my stretch marks for a long time, and I didn’t feel that when I was out there. I don’t know if I’ve ever been to a place where I felt no judgement, even when I’m fully clothed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13892752\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 320px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13892752\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Lupin.jpg\" alt=\"Lupin Lodge. \" width=\"320\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Lupin.jpg 320w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/Lupin-160x200.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 320px) 100vw, 320px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Lupin Lodge. \u003ccite>(Yelp)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>My husband, Dom, is a man’s man: a barber and Mustang driver. He was able to stand naked, and give handshakes and hugs to other naked men without feeling any type of way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The experience was never weird or uncomfortable, like the movies about stereotypical “nudist colonies.” It was like meeting a family you didn’t know for the first time. And taking no time in really getting to \u003cem>know \u003c/em>them. People do yoga and play sports, sing songs and break bread. Most of all, people simply spread love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We’ve recently purchased an RV trailer and more camping equipment, and now we make the trek from the East Bay to the Santa Cruz area weekly. Each time it’s refreshing to get away, if only for just a little while. The new family we have now has given us something to look forward to on the weekends; a blessing during these times.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s also made me question: where does love come from? In my life, I’ve learned that it’s possible to feel love from others, just as it’s possible to feel hate. They’re both strong feelings that people can sense, almost like pheromones.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And there’s also people who are able to send “fake love,” feelings that damage peoples’ ability to sense and accept real love. I experienced a lot of fake love in my life, and it’s refreshing to find the real thing. It takes time to find out what’s really real. Trips to nature, and being in your natural state can help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In my opinion, the easiest way to decipher the real from the fake is that when you question love, maybe you should let it go. And when you feel love with your whole heart—be it the love of a person or a place—embrace it and give love back in return.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Love to all.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cem>—Erikka Ransom\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-800x78.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"78\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-12127869\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-400x39.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Q.Logo_.Break_-768x75.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Correction: The original version of this story inaccurately referred to Lupin Lodge as a “naturalist community,” rather than a “naturist community.” The story has been edited to correct the term.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13892534/finding-acceptance-and-self-love-in-a-naturalist-community","authors":["byline_arts_13892534"],"categories":["arts_1","arts_2303"],"tags":["arts_2767","arts_5016","arts_10342","arts_3931","arts_1143","arts_6672","arts_3923"],"featImg":"arts_13892749","label":"source_arts_13892534"},"arts_13892333":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13892333","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13892333","score":null,"sort":[1612807641000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-to-not-have-a-totally-boring-valentines-day","title":"How to Not Have a Totally Boring Valentine’s Day","publishDate":1612807641,"format":"standard","headTitle":"How to Not Have a Totally Boring Valentine’s Day | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cp>You’re not alone if matters of the heart feel a little uninspired these days. A romantic evening might include takeout and splitting a bottle of wine—again—or an awkward, masked outdoor dining experience where your server dances around you to avoid inhaling your droplets. (Please tip extra.) And if you’re looking to meet someone new, getting to know them now requires an added layer of COVID conversations on top of the usual questions about compatibility and sexual safety.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s a lot for anyone to handle, but that doesn’t mean we should declare romance dead. So, to help you get in the mood for Valentine’s Day, we at KQED Arts & Culture came up with a few creative ways to celebrate love at home, whether you’re hanging out with your partner, crush, polycule, friend, pet or yourself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We also want to hear from you, our readers. What are you doing for Valentine’s Day? \u003ca href=\"#submit\">Tell us in the submission form at the bottom of this post\u003c/a>.\u003cem>—Nastia Voynovskaya\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13892341\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13892341\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1148922475-800x400.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1148922475-800x400.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1148922475-1020x510.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1148922475-160x80.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1148922475-768x384.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1148922475.jpg 1448w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Instead of going on a non-essential trip, turn your house into a vacation destination. \u003ccite>(elenabs/iStock)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch2>Bring a Taste of the Tropics Home\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>If you’re anything like me, globetrotting gives you life. And with no clear end to travel restrictions in sight, Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to take your significant other on an in-home beach getaway. My escape is going to be a kitschy albeit valiant attempt to simulate a Caribbean vacation. Grab some uber-fake grass skirts, inflatable palm trees and plastic pineapples for piña coladas. Where to splurge? On the spread! Prep real young coconuts and top them with rum, marinate jerk chicken and veggie skewers for a main course and fry up your own plantain chips with a spicy aioli dip to really wow your special someone. Bonus tip: show your thoughtfulness by having a swim outfit in their size ready for them to put on before you slip into your plastic kiddie pool.\u003cem>—Cecilia Phillips\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Draw, Collage or Write an Ode to Your Beloved\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Deep eye contact sparks intimacy, so go even deeper by doing a blind contour line drawing of your person. This is a portrait where you put pencil to paper and don’t look down. Move the pencil along with your eyes as you study the alluring shapes and curves of their features. Sure, if you don’t practice this a lot, it might turn out totally hideous—but you’ll probably share a good laugh, which promotes intimacy too. To spice up the evening, draw each other wearing whatever makes you feel sexy and confident—or nothing at all. It also works if you draw yourself while looking in the mirror. And if drawing isn’t your speed, then collaging, writing haikus or painting with watercolors could be the move for a low-stakes art night.\u003cem>—N.V.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13892335\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13892335\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1293716516-800x492.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"492\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1293716516-800x492.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1293716516-1020x628.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1293716516-160x98.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1293716516-768x473.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1293716516.jpg 1305w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Art is a great way to show someone you care. \u003ccite>(DmitryMo/iStock)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch2>Dine Al Fresco Somewhere Unusual\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>True romance is all about newness. So for a Valentine’s Day date after 11 months of sheltering-in-place, it’s time to change your surroundings. Even a mild change makes a big difference, like finally buying a tablecloth and moving the dining table to the living room. If it won’t be too cold on Feb. 14, then Craigslist has a handful of \u003ca href=\"https://sfbay.craigslist.org/search/sss?query=%22card+table%22&sort=rel&purveyor-input=all\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">affordable card tables\u003c/a> for moving the whole dinner operation al fresco: in the backyard, say, or the rooftop, if your building has one. If you’re really ambitious, you could cook up dinner, load it into the trunk and drive to a nearby park. One time, I had my date meet me \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/CK5a3YiF_oM/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">at the post office\u003c/a>, where I had set up a table and chairs with spaghetti, garlic bread and candles in the 24-hour lobby for a date among the P.O. boxes. Sure, it was weird, but come on! This whole year is weird. Go for it and dine somewhere unusual.\u003cem>—Gabe Meline\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Give Useful Gifts\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Candy? Flowers? These are sweet gestures, but ultimately ephemeral. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that these “unprecedented times” look a lot like the dystopias we’ve seen in various science fiction films over the years. And maybe we should all be a little better prepared? In that spirit, may I propose: Survival Valentine’s! Bestow upon your sweetheart/roomie/dear friend things that might actually come in handy in the end-times—or, you know, just after an earthquake or during a wildfire evacuation. Think flashlights, portable radios, strike-anywhere matches and sturdy multitools. Nothing says “I love you” like \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11833686/what-to-pack-in-your-emergency-bag-with-covid-19-in-mind\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">things\u003c/a> that keep people alive to be loved!\u003cem>—Sarah Hotchkiss\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13892336\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13892336\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-995948332-800x550.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"550\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-995948332-800x550.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-995948332-1020x701.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-995948332-160x110.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-995948332-768x528.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-995948332.jpg 1236w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">A gift of survival gear will let your loved one know that you want them to make it through these apocalyptic times. \u003ccite>(Vect0r0vich/iStock)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch2>Shower Your Pets With Love\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>This Valentine’s Day, I will be cooking a special Italian meal for two… rats. Not rats of the love variety (à la \u003ca href=\"https://brokegirlinthecity.com/10-things-we-love-about-holly-golightly/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Holly Golightly\u003c/a>), but actual, real-life rodents. Feb. 14 has long been a pet holiday for me, having adopted a dog from the SFSPCA during a V-Day promotion ten years ago. “Can’t, it’s my dog’s birthday” quickly became my go-to excuse. Unfortunately, my decade-long Valentine’s get-out clause shuffled off this mortal coil last summer. This month, though, I was inspired to take the adoption plunge once more and, thanks to Bay Area rat rescue \u003ca href=\"https://www.rattieratz.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Rattie Ratz\u003c/a>, I am now the proud mama of two black and white rats named Thelma and Louise. If I can’t lavish love onto my dog this year, the rat babies are going to get it… via a comically tiny bowl of pasta. My boyfriend’s only request is that we watch \u003cem>Ratatouille\u003c/em> while this is happening. Nothing takes the pressure out of the holiday like focusing on your pets. Shower them with love whether you’re partnered or single.\u003cem>—Rae Alexandra\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Valentine’s Day Rocks—Literally\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>No, I didn’t own a pet rock growing up, but recently I have seen people post their \u003ca href=\"https://www.pinterest.com/suerobin61/rock-painting/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">rock paintings on Pinterest\u003c/a> during stay-at-home orders. This Valentine’s Day my evening will consist of painting rocks with my partner. Back in university, I had a roommate who would leave sticky notes on our bedroom doors on Valentine’s Day, but instead of it being cute and sweet, it was the opposite. So using her idea, I will do the same using stone cold rocks (it saves paper). I’m going to paint items I don’t like or funny puns I won’t dare say in person, and I plan to use it as a date night conversation starter, like 20 questions. Not only will the pieces be a great addition to my front yard, but I’m sure neighbors will wonder why there’s a banana drawn on a rock.\u003cem>—Jackelyn Carbajal\u003c/em>\u003ca id=\"submit\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv id=\"my-embedded-typeform\" style=\"width: 100%; height: 600px;\">\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>\u003cscript src=\"https://embed.typeform.com/embed.js\" type=\"text/javascript\">\u003c/script>\u003cbr>\n\u003cscript type=\"text/javascript\">\n window.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\", function() {\n var el = document.getElementById(\"my-embedded-typeform\");\n window.typeformEmbed.makeWidget(el, \"https://form.typeform.com/to/rJytnNXm\", {\n hideFooter: true,\n hideHeaders: true,\n opacity: 0\n });\n });\n\u003c/script>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Turn your apartment into a vacation, make art for your beloved or pamper your pets—this is the year to be as creative as you want.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705019524,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":12,"wordCount":1257},"headData":{"title":"How to Not Have a Totally Boring Valentine’s Day | KQED","description":"Turn your apartment into a vacation, make art for your beloved or pamper your pets—this is the year to be as creative as you want.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"How to Not Have a Totally Boring Valentine’s Day","datePublished":"2021-02-08T18:07:21.000Z","dateModified":"2024-01-12T00:32:04.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/arts/13892333/how-to-not-have-a-totally-boring-valentines-day","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>You’re not alone if matters of the heart feel a little uninspired these days. A romantic evening might include takeout and splitting a bottle of wine—again—or an awkward, masked outdoor dining experience where your server dances around you to avoid inhaling your droplets. (Please tip extra.) And if you’re looking to meet someone new, getting to know them now requires an added layer of COVID conversations on top of the usual questions about compatibility and sexual safety.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s a lot for anyone to handle, but that doesn’t mean we should declare romance dead. So, to help you get in the mood for Valentine’s Day, we at KQED Arts & Culture came up with a few creative ways to celebrate love at home, whether you’re hanging out with your partner, crush, polycule, friend, pet or yourself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We also want to hear from you, our readers. What are you doing for Valentine’s Day? \u003ca href=\"#submit\">Tell us in the submission form at the bottom of this post\u003c/a>.\u003cem>—Nastia Voynovskaya\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13892341\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13892341\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1148922475-800x400.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1148922475-800x400.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1148922475-1020x510.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1148922475-160x80.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1148922475-768x384.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1148922475.jpg 1448w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Instead of going on a non-essential trip, turn your house into a vacation destination. \u003ccite>(elenabs/iStock)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch2>Bring a Taste of the Tropics Home\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>If you’re anything like me, globetrotting gives you life. And with no clear end to travel restrictions in sight, Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to take your significant other on an in-home beach getaway. My escape is going to be a kitschy albeit valiant attempt to simulate a Caribbean vacation. Grab some uber-fake grass skirts, inflatable palm trees and plastic pineapples for piña coladas. Where to splurge? On the spread! Prep real young coconuts and top them with rum, marinate jerk chicken and veggie skewers for a main course and fry up your own plantain chips with a spicy aioli dip to really wow your special someone. Bonus tip: show your thoughtfulness by having a swim outfit in their size ready for them to put on before you slip into your plastic kiddie pool.\u003cem>—Cecilia Phillips\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Draw, Collage or Write an Ode to Your Beloved\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Deep eye contact sparks intimacy, so go even deeper by doing a blind contour line drawing of your person. This is a portrait where you put pencil to paper and don’t look down. Move the pencil along with your eyes as you study the alluring shapes and curves of their features. Sure, if you don’t practice this a lot, it might turn out totally hideous—but you’ll probably share a good laugh, which promotes intimacy too. To spice up the evening, draw each other wearing whatever makes you feel sexy and confident—or nothing at all. It also works if you draw yourself while looking in the mirror. And if drawing isn’t your speed, then collaging, writing haikus or painting with watercolors could be the move for a low-stakes art night.\u003cem>—N.V.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13892335\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13892335\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1293716516-800x492.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"492\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1293716516-800x492.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1293716516-1020x628.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1293716516-160x98.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1293716516-768x473.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-1293716516.jpg 1305w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Art is a great way to show someone you care. \u003ccite>(DmitryMo/iStock)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch2>Dine Al Fresco Somewhere Unusual\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>True romance is all about newness. So for a Valentine’s Day date after 11 months of sheltering-in-place, it’s time to change your surroundings. Even a mild change makes a big difference, like finally buying a tablecloth and moving the dining table to the living room. If it won’t be too cold on Feb. 14, then Craigslist has a handful of \u003ca href=\"https://sfbay.craigslist.org/search/sss?query=%22card+table%22&sort=rel&purveyor-input=all\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">affordable card tables\u003c/a> for moving the whole dinner operation al fresco: in the backyard, say, or the rooftop, if your building has one. If you’re really ambitious, you could cook up dinner, load it into the trunk and drive to a nearby park. One time, I had my date meet me \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/CK5a3YiF_oM/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">at the post office\u003c/a>, where I had set up a table and chairs with spaghetti, garlic bread and candles in the 24-hour lobby for a date among the P.O. boxes. Sure, it was weird, but come on! This whole year is weird. Go for it and dine somewhere unusual.\u003cem>—Gabe Meline\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Give Useful Gifts\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Candy? Flowers? These are sweet gestures, but ultimately ephemeral. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that these “unprecedented times” look a lot like the dystopias we’ve seen in various science fiction films over the years. And maybe we should all be a little better prepared? In that spirit, may I propose: Survival Valentine’s! Bestow upon your sweetheart/roomie/dear friend things that might actually come in handy in the end-times—or, you know, just after an earthquake or during a wildfire evacuation. Think flashlights, portable radios, strike-anywhere matches and sturdy multitools. Nothing says “I love you” like \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11833686/what-to-pack-in-your-emergency-bag-with-covid-19-in-mind\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">things\u003c/a> that keep people alive to be loved!\u003cem>—Sarah Hotchkiss\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13892336\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13892336\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-995948332-800x550.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"550\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-995948332-800x550.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-995948332-1020x701.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-995948332-160x110.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-995948332-768x528.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/02/iStock-995948332.jpg 1236w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">A gift of survival gear will let your loved one know that you want them to make it through these apocalyptic times. \u003ccite>(Vect0r0vich/iStock)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch2>Shower Your Pets With Love\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>This Valentine’s Day, I will be cooking a special Italian meal for two… rats. Not rats of the love variety (à la \u003ca href=\"https://brokegirlinthecity.com/10-things-we-love-about-holly-golightly/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Holly Golightly\u003c/a>), but actual, real-life rodents. Feb. 14 has long been a pet holiday for me, having adopted a dog from the SFSPCA during a V-Day promotion ten years ago. “Can’t, it’s my dog’s birthday” quickly became my go-to excuse. Unfortunately, my decade-long Valentine’s get-out clause shuffled off this mortal coil last summer. This month, though, I was inspired to take the adoption plunge once more and, thanks to Bay Area rat rescue \u003ca href=\"https://www.rattieratz.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Rattie Ratz\u003c/a>, I am now the proud mama of two black and white rats named Thelma and Louise. If I can’t lavish love onto my dog this year, the rat babies are going to get it… via a comically tiny bowl of pasta. My boyfriend’s only request is that we watch \u003cem>Ratatouille\u003c/em> while this is happening. Nothing takes the pressure out of the holiday like focusing on your pets. Shower them with love whether you’re partnered or single.\u003cem>—Rae Alexandra\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Valentine’s Day Rocks—Literally\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>No, I didn’t own a pet rock growing up, but recently I have seen people post their \u003ca href=\"https://www.pinterest.com/suerobin61/rock-painting/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">rock paintings on Pinterest\u003c/a> during stay-at-home orders. This Valentine’s Day my evening will consist of painting rocks with my partner. Back in university, I had a roommate who would leave sticky notes on our bedroom doors on Valentine’s Day, but instead of it being cute and sweet, it was the opposite. So using her idea, I will do the same using stone cold rocks (it saves paper). I’m going to paint items I don’t like or funny puns I won’t dare say in person, and I plan to use it as a date night conversation starter, like 20 questions. Not only will the pieces be a great addition to my front yard, but I’m sure neighbors will wonder why there’s a banana drawn on a rock.\u003cem>—Jackelyn Carbajal\u003c/em>\u003ca id=\"submit\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv id=\"my-embedded-typeform\" style=\"width: 100%; height: 600px;\">\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>\u003cscript src=\"https://embed.typeform.com/embed.js\" type=\"text/javascript\">\u003c/script>\u003cbr>\n\u003cscript type=\"text/javascript\">\n window.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\", function() {\n var el = document.getElementById(\"my-embedded-typeform\");\n window.typeformEmbed.makeWidget(el, \"https://form.typeform.com/to/rJytnNXm\", {\n hideFooter: true,\n hideHeaders: true,\n opacity: 0\n });\n });\n\u003c/script>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13892333/how-to-not-have-a-totally-boring-valentines-day","authors":["92"],"categories":["arts_1"],"tags":["arts_10126","arts_11014","arts_10278","arts_3931","arts_3930","arts_3923"],"featImg":"arts_13892343","label":"arts"},"arts_13877358":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13877358","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13877358","score":null,"sort":[1585252473000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-people-are-dating-when-theyre-stuck-together-or-forced-apart","title":"How People are Dating When They're Stuck Together or Forced Apart","publishDate":1585252473,"format":"standard","headTitle":"How People are Dating When They’re Stuck Together or Forced Apart | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cp>In a clinical sense, the coronavirus causes respiratory illness, but it has also complicated matters of the heart—as if they weren’t complicated enough already.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With the shelter-in-place ordinance, some of us are feeling woefully alone, and some of us have found creative ways to stay connected to distant lovers. And still others have suddenly found ourselves in high-stakes cohabitation situations that put relationships to the test: How much of one another can we \u003cem>really\u003c/em> handle?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wearing my most expensive pair of (inside) shoes and sipping a cosmopolitan (OK, green tea), I channeled my inner Carrie Bradshaw and asked my Twitter following, \u003ci>How’s your love life going during the pandemic?\u003c/i> DMs led to phone interviews, which led to tales that were titillating, heartrending and sometimes simply adorable. Here’s how we’re weathering love in the time of coronavirus.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Note:\u003c/strong> Some names and details have been changed to protect respondents’ privacy.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13877555\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13877555\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/two-people-holding-hands-1101732-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/two-people-holding-hands-1101732-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/two-people-holding-hands-1101732-160x107.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/two-people-holding-hands-1101732-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/two-people-holding-hands-1101732-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/two-people-holding-hands-1101732.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Shelter-in-place orders aren’t stopping some couples from seeing each other. \u003ccite>(Albert Rafael)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch2>An Open Marriage on the Outs\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Julia, an Oakland resident in her 40s, began the process of separating from her husband last fall, though they still haven’t established separate living arrangements. Of the two decades they’ve spent together, nearly half of that time has been been in an open relationship—and while Julia is certain it’s over, she senses her ex thinks living in close quarters might bring them closer romantically.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Complicating things further is the fact that Julia’s been dealing with some COVID-19-like symptoms for weeks, so she’s been self-quarantining on the couch. “Since I’ve been sick it’s almost like living with a roommate, and trying to be respectful and grateful, so there’s that aspect of it,” she says. “We’re also still family even though we’re separating, and we still care for each other.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then there’s this other matter: For the last year and some change, Julia has also been involved in a relationship with her boyfriend. She and her ex typically have a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy with regard to the other people they’re dating—and since she’s spending her days in the common area, keeping in touch with her boo has been tough. She’s used to seeing him two or three nights a week, but to avoid tensions at home, they’ve only talked on the phone and watched movies while chatting on Zoom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Because of these circumstances, it makes [the living arrangement] more flammable,” she says. “It will bring bad blood and I’m not trying to do that right now.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13877557\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13877557\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/couple-eating-breakfast-on-the-bed-3575143-800x1200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"1200\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/couple-eating-breakfast-on-the-bed-3575143-800x1200.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/couple-eating-breakfast-on-the-bed-3575143-160x240.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/couple-eating-breakfast-on-the-bed-3575143-768x1152.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/couple-eating-breakfast-on-the-bed-3575143-1020x1530.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/couple-eating-breakfast-on-the-bed-3575143-1920x2880.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Cohabitation is going better than expected amid shelter-in-place for some couples who didn’t previously live together. \u003ccite>(Lamngakan Eka)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch2>When U-Hauling Goes Right\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>A stereotype—inside joke, really—among queer women is that we’re apt to U-Haul, meaning get serious and move in together right away, likely with some horoscope sharing and emotional processing in the mix. Betsy swears that she and her new girlfriend didn’t do this on purpose—it just made the most sense for sheltering in place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the orders came down, “We were like, ‘Oh shit, let’s prepare,’” she says, adding that the couple, dating since early February, was already spending a lot of time at her place anyway. “We started going to the grocery store.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Betsy, an Oakland marketing professional and artist in her 20s, says it’s been going wonderfully. She and her girlfriend cook their meals together and share chores, and there’s been plenty of time for deep conversations that wouldn’t normally come up this soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What are the wildest things you’ve ever done and when did that part of your life end? What are your past traumas? We’ve had all those kinds of conversations,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While she’s talking to me on the phone outside her house—I kid you not—she gets a flower delivery from her girlfriend, who is a few feet away indoors. Naturally, Betsy is smitten. This feels like a love that’s going to last.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“This is making us realize we could totally cohabitate in the future, it’s not a question at this point,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Grocery Workers in a Secret Romance\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Katie, a grocery store employee in her 30s, was single until she hit it off with a slightly younger coworker a few months ago. After exchanging numbers, they began to steal away together for beers after work, hoping the rest of the staff wouldn’t notice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“[The store] is like high school, gossip travels,” she says. “And much like high school, I’ve opted out of socializing.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When shelter-in-place orders hit, Katie and her boyfriend became some of the front-line workers putting supplies on grocery store shelves. And even with the store practicing some crowd control measures, she says it’s still too packed for customers and workers to follow the six-foot distance rule.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She worries that her employer is leaving workers like her vulnerable and exposed to infection—which is why she decided that breaking shelter-in-place rules to visit her boyfriend’s place isn’t really putting either of them at much greater risk than they’re undertaking already.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We’re all there touching the same stuff,” she says. “We’re all basically in one gigantic living room.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>FaceTime Dates with Strangers\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Daniel, a single Oakland guy in his 30s, says dating apps have been bustling since shelter in place. Not knowing when they’ll meet in person isn’t stopping people from seeking connection on Zoom and FaceTime.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I’ve had maybe about four FaceTime dates and three of them have been whatever,” he says as he preps for a dinner date with a new lady. “The one I’m having right now I’d convert into a real thing.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daniel and his new crush decided to cook the same meal together at their separate places—a veggie dish with lentils and turmeric—and virtually break bread through their screens. He’s coming up with other creative ideas for how to interact, like doing yoga together on Zoom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daniel says sexting has never been his preference, and that maybe if coronavirus testing becomes widely available, he’ll meet his girl in person. Of course, with the country’s medical system on overload, that may be wishful thinking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13877556\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13877556\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/greyscale-photo-of-man-using-laptop-computer-1181388-800x534.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/greyscale-photo-of-man-using-laptop-computer-1181388-800x534.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/greyscale-photo-of-man-using-laptop-computer-1181388-160x107.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/greyscale-photo-of-man-using-laptop-computer-1181388-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/greyscale-photo-of-man-using-laptop-computer-1181388-1020x681.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/greyscale-photo-of-man-using-laptop-computer-1181388.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">New crushes, established couples and friends with benefits alike are turning to Zoom and FaceTime to maintain their connections. \u003ccite>(Christina Morillo)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch2>New Etiquette for Friends with Benefits\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Susan, a freelancer in her 20s in New York, has a friend with benefits she sees a few times a month. Their relationship isn’t built on occasionally sending each other “U up?” texts—this guy is her actual friend. They’ve been checking in on each other and sending supportive messages as they shelter in place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With both of them practicing social distancing, she wonders whether meeting up is safe enough to be worth the risk. “What’s the standard etiquette for a situation neither of us has come across before?” she wonders.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Though the two of them may refrain from seeing each other in person, she’s actually optimistic and excited about the prospect of some virtual sexy fun.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“There’s absolutely upsides to it,” she says. “I think a lot of people are into, even in the same room, mutual masturbation—that sort of thing. It’s a fetish for a lot of people.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>New Love with an Age Gap\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Things got serious quickly during shelter in place between Lydia, a Hayward educator in her 20s, and her boyfriend, Diego, who is more than two decades older. The two of them had been dating for six months when Bay Area residents were ordered to retreat into their homes, so the couple made the decision for Lydia to stay with him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s propelled me into a different world and fast-tracked our relationship,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Quickly, she found herself transitioning from the role of house guest to step-mom, helping with chores and also caring for Diego’s elementary school-aged daughter while he works from home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I’m taking care of a whole human who needs help all the time, needs you to cook, needs you to help her get in the shower,” she says, adding that there have been some tough household conversations about cleanliness and boundaries.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On top of that, other family members who live in the house haven’t been exactly warm to Lydia. Nonetheless, Lydia says that with everyone stuck at home, they’ve been forced to make peace and accept one another’s presence. Even if they’re not the best of friends, they still have family breakfast every morning.\u003cbr>\n[aside postID='arts_13876781,arts_13877428,arts_13877448' label='Read more']\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>When Berkeley to San Jose Feels Like Long Distance\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Lily is on the front lines of the coronavirus pandemic, working directly with doctors and nurses in hospitals, so she wasn’t able to quarantine with her boyfriend, who co-parents a young child with respiratory issues. She lives in Berkeley and he lives in San Jose; both are in their 30s.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Her voice wavers as she tells me that it’s been difficult for them to find ways to feel connected virtually. “I miss him so much and it just feels helpless,” she says. “When we first start talking it’s really nice, and as it goes on everything is a reminder that we’re not gonna be doing [anything in person] together anytime soon.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She recently dug her ukulele out of her closet to record videos of herself singing songs to him. They’ve tuned into a live-streamed concert together. How intensely the couple misses each other, she says, has forced them to have serious conversations about their relationship and its future down the line.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I just feel like we better come out of this like, OK, let’s get married and make sure this never happens again,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Coronavirus has made matters of the heart even more complicated.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705021009,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":38,"wordCount":1821},"headData":{"title":"How People are Dating When They're Stuck Together or Forced Apart | KQED","description":"Coronavirus has made matters of the heart even more complicated.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"How People are Dating When They're Stuck Together or Forced Apart","datePublished":"2020-03-26T19:54:33.000Z","dateModified":"2024-01-12T00:56:49.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/arts/13877358/how-people-are-dating-when-theyre-stuck-together-or-forced-apart","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In a clinical sense, the coronavirus causes respiratory illness, but it has also complicated matters of the heart—as if they weren’t complicated enough already.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With the shelter-in-place ordinance, some of us are feeling woefully alone, and some of us have found creative ways to stay connected to distant lovers. And still others have suddenly found ourselves in high-stakes cohabitation situations that put relationships to the test: How much of one another can we \u003cem>really\u003c/em> handle?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wearing my most expensive pair of (inside) shoes and sipping a cosmopolitan (OK, green tea), I channeled my inner Carrie Bradshaw and asked my Twitter following, \u003ci>How’s your love life going during the pandemic?\u003c/i> DMs led to phone interviews, which led to tales that were titillating, heartrending and sometimes simply adorable. Here’s how we’re weathering love in the time of coronavirus.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Note:\u003c/strong> Some names and details have been changed to protect respondents’ privacy.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13877555\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13877555\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/two-people-holding-hands-1101732-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/two-people-holding-hands-1101732-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/two-people-holding-hands-1101732-160x107.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/two-people-holding-hands-1101732-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/two-people-holding-hands-1101732-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/two-people-holding-hands-1101732.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Shelter-in-place orders aren’t stopping some couples from seeing each other. \u003ccite>(Albert Rafael)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch2>An Open Marriage on the Outs\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Julia, an Oakland resident in her 40s, began the process of separating from her husband last fall, though they still haven’t established separate living arrangements. Of the two decades they’ve spent together, nearly half of that time has been been in an open relationship—and while Julia is certain it’s over, she senses her ex thinks living in close quarters might bring them closer romantically.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Complicating things further is the fact that Julia’s been dealing with some COVID-19-like symptoms for weeks, so she’s been self-quarantining on the couch. “Since I’ve been sick it’s almost like living with a roommate, and trying to be respectful and grateful, so there’s that aspect of it,” she says. “We’re also still family even though we’re separating, and we still care for each other.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then there’s this other matter: For the last year and some change, Julia has also been involved in a relationship with her boyfriend. She and her ex typically have a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy with regard to the other people they’re dating—and since she’s spending her days in the common area, keeping in touch with her boo has been tough. She’s used to seeing him two or three nights a week, but to avoid tensions at home, they’ve only talked on the phone and watched movies while chatting on Zoom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Because of these circumstances, it makes [the living arrangement] more flammable,” she says. “It will bring bad blood and I’m not trying to do that right now.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13877557\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13877557\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/couple-eating-breakfast-on-the-bed-3575143-800x1200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"1200\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/couple-eating-breakfast-on-the-bed-3575143-800x1200.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/couple-eating-breakfast-on-the-bed-3575143-160x240.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/couple-eating-breakfast-on-the-bed-3575143-768x1152.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/couple-eating-breakfast-on-the-bed-3575143-1020x1530.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/couple-eating-breakfast-on-the-bed-3575143-1920x2880.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Cohabitation is going better than expected amid shelter-in-place for some couples who didn’t previously live together. \u003ccite>(Lamngakan Eka)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch2>When U-Hauling Goes Right\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>A stereotype—inside joke, really—among queer women is that we’re apt to U-Haul, meaning get serious and move in together right away, likely with some horoscope sharing and emotional processing in the mix. Betsy swears that she and her new girlfriend didn’t do this on purpose—it just made the most sense for sheltering in place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the orders came down, “We were like, ‘Oh shit, let’s prepare,’” she says, adding that the couple, dating since early February, was already spending a lot of time at her place anyway. “We started going to the grocery store.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Betsy, an Oakland marketing professional and artist in her 20s, says it’s been going wonderfully. She and her girlfriend cook their meals together and share chores, and there’s been plenty of time for deep conversations that wouldn’t normally come up this soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What are the wildest things you’ve ever done and when did that part of your life end? What are your past traumas? We’ve had all those kinds of conversations,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While she’s talking to me on the phone outside her house—I kid you not—she gets a flower delivery from her girlfriend, who is a few feet away indoors. Naturally, Betsy is smitten. This feels like a love that’s going to last.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“This is making us realize we could totally cohabitate in the future, it’s not a question at this point,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Grocery Workers in a Secret Romance\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Katie, a grocery store employee in her 30s, was single until she hit it off with a slightly younger coworker a few months ago. After exchanging numbers, they began to steal away together for beers after work, hoping the rest of the staff wouldn’t notice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“[The store] is like high school, gossip travels,” she says. “And much like high school, I’ve opted out of socializing.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When shelter-in-place orders hit, Katie and her boyfriend became some of the front-line workers putting supplies on grocery store shelves. And even with the store practicing some crowd control measures, she says it’s still too packed for customers and workers to follow the six-foot distance rule.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She worries that her employer is leaving workers like her vulnerable and exposed to infection—which is why she decided that breaking shelter-in-place rules to visit her boyfriend’s place isn’t really putting either of them at much greater risk than they’re undertaking already.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We’re all there touching the same stuff,” she says. “We’re all basically in one gigantic living room.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>FaceTime Dates with Strangers\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Daniel, a single Oakland guy in his 30s, says dating apps have been bustling since shelter in place. Not knowing when they’ll meet in person isn’t stopping people from seeking connection on Zoom and FaceTime.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I’ve had maybe about four FaceTime dates and three of them have been whatever,” he says as he preps for a dinner date with a new lady. “The one I’m having right now I’d convert into a real thing.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daniel and his new crush decided to cook the same meal together at their separate places—a veggie dish with lentils and turmeric—and virtually break bread through their screens. He’s coming up with other creative ideas for how to interact, like doing yoga together on Zoom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daniel says sexting has never been his preference, and that maybe if coronavirus testing becomes widely available, he’ll meet his girl in person. Of course, with the country’s medical system on overload, that may be wishful thinking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_13877556\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-13877556\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/greyscale-photo-of-man-using-laptop-computer-1181388-800x534.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/greyscale-photo-of-man-using-laptop-computer-1181388-800x534.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/greyscale-photo-of-man-using-laptop-computer-1181388-160x107.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/greyscale-photo-of-man-using-laptop-computer-1181388-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/greyscale-photo-of-man-using-laptop-computer-1181388-1020x681.jpg 1020w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/03/greyscale-photo-of-man-using-laptop-computer-1181388.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">New crushes, established couples and friends with benefits alike are turning to Zoom and FaceTime to maintain their connections. \u003ccite>(Christina Morillo)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch2>New Etiquette for Friends with Benefits\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Susan, a freelancer in her 20s in New York, has a friend with benefits she sees a few times a month. Their relationship isn’t built on occasionally sending each other “U up?” texts—this guy is her actual friend. They’ve been checking in on each other and sending supportive messages as they shelter in place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With both of them practicing social distancing, she wonders whether meeting up is safe enough to be worth the risk. “What’s the standard etiquette for a situation neither of us has come across before?” she wonders.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Though the two of them may refrain from seeing each other in person, she’s actually optimistic and excited about the prospect of some virtual sexy fun.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“There’s absolutely upsides to it,” she says. “I think a lot of people are into, even in the same room, mutual masturbation—that sort of thing. It’s a fetish for a lot of people.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>New Love with an Age Gap\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Things got serious quickly during shelter in place between Lydia, a Hayward educator in her 20s, and her boyfriend, Diego, who is more than two decades older. The two of them had been dating for six months when Bay Area residents were ordered to retreat into their homes, so the couple made the decision for Lydia to stay with him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s propelled me into a different world and fast-tracked our relationship,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Quickly, she found herself transitioning from the role of house guest to step-mom, helping with chores and also caring for Diego’s elementary school-aged daughter while he works from home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I’m taking care of a whole human who needs help all the time, needs you to cook, needs you to help her get in the shower,” she says, adding that there have been some tough household conversations about cleanliness and boundaries.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On top of that, other family members who live in the house haven’t been exactly warm to Lydia. Nonetheless, Lydia says that with everyone stuck at home, they’ve been forced to make peace and accept one another’s presence. Even if they’re not the best of friends, they still have family breakfast every morning.\u003cbr>\n\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13876781,arts_13877428,arts_13877448","label":"Read more "},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>When Berkeley to San Jose Feels Like Long Distance\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Lily is on the front lines of the coronavirus pandemic, working directly with doctors and nurses in hospitals, so she wasn’t able to quarantine with her boyfriend, who co-parents a young child with respiratory issues. She lives in Berkeley and he lives in San Jose; both are in their 30s.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Her voice wavers as she tells me that it’s been difficult for them to find ways to feel connected virtually. “I miss him so much and it just feels helpless,” she says. “When we first start talking it’s really nice, and as it goes on everything is a reminder that we’re not gonna be doing [anything in person] together anytime soon.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She recently dug her ukulele out of her closet to record videos of herself singing songs to him. They’ve tuned into a live-streamed concert together. How intensely the couple misses each other, she says, has forced them to have serious conversations about their relationship and its future down the line.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I just feel like we better come out of this like, OK, let’s get married and make sure this never happens again,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13877358/how-people-are-dating-when-theyre-stuck-together-or-forced-apart","authors":["11387"],"categories":["arts_835","arts_235"],"tags":["arts_10126","arts_10127","arts_10342","arts_10278","arts_3931","arts_9599"],"featImg":"arts_13877554","label":"arts"},"arts_13877273":{"type":"posts","id":"arts_13877273","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"arts","id":"13877273","score":null,"sort":[1584997410000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"love-in-the-time-of-covid-19-pickup-lines-to-get-you-through-the-pandemic","title":"Love in the Time of COVID-19: Pickup Lines to Get You Through the Pandemic","publishDate":1584997410,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Love in the Time of COVID-19: Pickup Lines to Get You Through the Pandemic | KQED","labelTerm":{"term":137,"site":"arts"},"content":"\u003cp>Yes, it’s a pandemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes, it’s got us all freaked out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And yes, it’s our civic duty to remain at least 6 feet away from each other throughout this crisis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But singles looking to mingle still have needs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So in this era, when it’s verboten to mack down with a stranger at a bar before last call or grind up on a hottie with incredible moves on a crowded dance floor, people are trying to safely capture one another’s hearts and minds with a new hashtag on Twitter: #\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/search?q=%23SocialDistancingPickUpLines&src=trend_click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">SocialDistancingPickUpLines\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here are a few coronavirus-revised lines that made us laugh, gasp, blush or just roll our eyes:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/AndstuffL/status/1240683528494465024\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/ThunderFerret/status/1240682150673989632\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/herotimeszero/status/1240763477205094402\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/RomanPhoenix4/status/1240689524360900613\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/poeticgirl86/status/1240743379857747986\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">NPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Love+In+The+Time+Of+COVID-19%3A+Some+Pickup+Lines+To+Get+You+Through+The+Pandemic&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Maybe it's not the way you imagined meeting that special someone. But if they can look passed that N95 mask, gazing into your eyes from a safe distance, who's to say it's not meant to last? ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1705021031,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":8,"wordCount":158},"headData":{"title":"Love in the Time of COVID-19: Pickup Lines to Get You Through the Pandemic | KQED","description":"Maybe it's not the way you imagined meeting that special someone. But if they can look passed that N95 mask, gazing into your eyes from a safe distance, who's to say it's not meant to last? ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Love in the Time of COVID-19: Pickup Lines to Get You Through the Pandemic","datePublished":"2020-03-23T21:03:30.000Z","dateModified":"2024-01-12T00:57:11.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"nprByline":"Vanessa Romo","nprStoryId":"818648131","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=818648131&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/03/19/818648131/love-in-the-time-of-covid-19-some-pickup-lines-to-get-you-through-the-pandemic?ft=nprml&f=818648131","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Thu, 19 Mar 2020 19:46:00 -0400","nprStoryDate":"Thu, 19 Mar 2020 19:46:27 -0400","nprLastModifiedDate":"Thu, 19 Mar 2020 19:46:27 -0400","templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/arts/13877273/love-in-the-time-of-covid-19-pickup-lines-to-get-you-through-the-pandemic","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Yes, it’s a pandemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes, it’s got us all freaked out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And yes, it’s our civic duty to remain at least 6 feet away from each other throughout this crisis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But singles looking to mingle still have needs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So in this era, when it’s verboten to mack down with a stranger at a bar before last call or grind up on a hottie with incredible moves on a crowded dance floor, people are trying to safely capture one another’s hearts and minds with a new hashtag on Twitter: #\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/search?q=%23SocialDistancingPickUpLines&src=trend_click\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">SocialDistancingPickUpLines\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here are a few coronavirus-revised lines that made us laugh, gasp, blush or just roll our eyes:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"singleTwitterStatus","attributes":{"named":{"id":"1240683528494465024"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"singleTwitterStatus","attributes":{"named":{"id":"1240682150673989632"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"singleTwitterStatus","attributes":{"named":{"id":"1240763477205094402"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"singleTwitterStatus","attributes":{"named":{"id":"1240689524360900613"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"singleTwitterStatus","attributes":{"named":{"id":"1240743379857747986"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">NPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Love+In+The+Time+Of+COVID-19%3A+Some+Pickup+Lines+To+Get+You+Through+The+Pandemic&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/arts/13877273/love-in-the-time-of-covid-19-pickup-lines-to-get-you-through-the-pandemic","authors":["byline_arts_13877273"],"categories":["arts_75"],"tags":["arts_10126","arts_11014","arts_3931","arts_3930"],"affiliates":["arts_137"],"featImg":"arts_13877282","label":"arts_137"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. 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