View the full episode transcript.
Most parents have a story about their kid and music. Maybe there’s footage of an embarrassing singing performance or video of an entertaining dance rendition. Either way, I’m sure it’s a worthwhile tale where lessons were learned. And that’s because music, one of the highest forms of art, is also one of the greatest teaching tools.
My daughter and I discuss music from the time we wake up to the time we go to sleep, that’s because I’m always playing music. I’m raising her that way, largely because that’s how I grew up.
My mother’s love for funk and R&B, as well as new jack swing and hip-hop, laid the foundation for my musical pallet. Now that I’m raising my own little one, I’ve built on the foundation I had as a kid and I’m passing all of that musical knowledge down, song by song.
In return, my daughter is teaching me some things I need to know about tunes we listen to on a daily basis. This interaction is a reminder: not only is music a great teaching tool, but the lessons go both ways.
On this week’s podcast, we discuss how my daughter and I bond over music, especially while taking trips in the car. It’s a joyride every time!
Episode Transcript
Pendarvis Harshaw: Growing up, music was always playing in my house.
[Music playing]
We had the big wicker covered speakers with the red, white and yellow RCA cables connected to an amplifier. The dual tape players and the multiple disc changer was where music lived.
Prince and Teena Marie were constant. Earth, Wind, and Fire was always in rotation. The soundtracks for movies like The Bodyguard and Crooklyn were staples.
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: Moms even got into New Jack Swing and eventually hip-hop. She loved the group Arrested Development, and because of that, I did too.
And now I’m raising my daughter the same way. But uh, slightly remixed.
It’s Golden Era hip-hop in the morning. Fela in the afternoon. Sade after dinner. Miles Davis at midnight. Or maybe it’s Kaytranda in the morning. Sublime in the midday. Rihanna during the afterschool drive, and then a mix of Japanese Jazz Fusion artists as we read and get ready for bed in the evening.
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: Even though the genres have slightly expanded from how I was raised, my daughter is soaking it all up all the same.
Zuri: Hi, I’m Zuri and I’m seven years old.
Pendarvis Harshaw: We talk about how music is subtle and ubiquitous, playing at the grocery store or in the background of a TV show. And, at the same time, music is a magical artform that takes listeners into a world of different emotional responses.
I’m waxing poetically, but I’m no musician. Far from it. I tried rapping when I was a teen, but I forgot my lyrics. Tried singing but my voice changed; now I couldn’t hold a note even if I had special note-holding-gloves.
But I’m a student of music, and I attribute that to being raised in a house where music was always playing– and in that, I was always learning, because music is one hell of a teaching tool.
Today on the show, I want to share with you some of things that I’ve learned along the way, right after this.
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: One weekend, I was driving around with my daughter Zuri, looking for something with a funky bassline for our sunny Saturday drive. My aim was to find some music with kid-friendly lyrics, but not too “kiddie,” because it was my Saturday too.
I landed on Zapp and Roger, their greatest hits.
A few seconds into the first track my daughter asked me:
Zuri: Are these the guys who make music with the tubes in their mouth?
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: Yes! She remembered.
The next step is remembering the artists’ actual names, and then maybe the instrument– a voice box, autotune or even more broadly, a synthesizer. But she remembered something, so I was juiced!
I played another track by Zapp and Roger, and then she followed up
Zuri: Do all of their songs sound like this?
Pendarvis Harshaw: Well, no. They have this one song I really like…
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: Within the first few beats of the song, she blurts out:
Zuri: Tupac!
Pendarvis Harshaw: YES! That’s it! That’s the song Tupac sampled for “Keep Your Head Up”. Bruh, I was ecstatic!
Posted at the red light, I got a lil choked up– I looked out the window pretending something caught my attention, holding back a lil tear.
My approach to musicology was working… And then I got greedy.
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: I tried to explain to her that in the song “Keep Your Head Up,” Tupac’s producer, DJ Daryl, sampled the melody of the Zapp’s “Be Alright,” but the lyrics of Tupac’s song were a reference to another classic track.
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: He was inspired by a group called The Five Stairsteps, who had a song called, “O-H-H-Child.”
We got about thirty seconds into the song, when she asked me to turn down the music and said:
Zuri: Daddy, this sounds like the chipmunks.
Pendarvis Harshaw: I didn’t see that coming. But that’s what happens when we talk about music in the car: There’s always something new.
The conversations touch on history and spirituality, sexism and racism. There’s almost always a tie in to Oakland. And just about every time she asks me about an artist, she asks if they’re still alive– which made me realize just how often I listen to recordings of people who are in the realm of the ancestors.
And of course, as when talking to just about any kid, there’s jokes. Like that one time she put in a request from the backseat…
[Music playing]
Zuri: Daddy, can you play that one Michael Jackson song, “BLT”???
Pendarvis Harshaw: She’s not just learning from me, she’s getting it while she’s at school, by attending extracurricular programs, and when she’s at her mom’s house.
One week, I thought I was cool by showing her the version of the story of Cinderella starring Brandy. As soon the film started she was like…
Zuri: Daddy, is that Moesha?
Pendarvis Harshaw: Her mom introduced her to both Moesha and Brandy, got her a Whitney Houston t-shirt, and helped her with her school project about Aretha Franklin.
They also often watch “The Masked Singer”. Now, she knows Motown hits, but has a hard time believing Smokey Robinson wrote ‘em, instead of a person wearing an owl costume.
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: The best part of this journey through musical education: it works both ways! Now she’s teaching me about music.
One spicy summer afternoon in Sacramento, my daughter and her friends gathered out front of our apartment singing their hearts out on a small Karaoke machine.
They ran through the classics: Moana and Frozen. Then they hit some of the newer joints, like “We Don’t Talk About Bruno”– that’s the youngest kid’s favorite.
The boy across the way, he loves “Sunflower” off the Spiderman soundtrack. And Jack Black’s “Peaches” gets everybody going.
Then, a high schooler who lives in the apartment downstairs from me grabbed the mic and brought us into her world as she cued up this video of a rap battle between two animated characters:
It features Natsuki, from the Doki Doki Literature Club and DC Comics’ heroine, Raven. As the video played, the teenager stood on the apartment walkway spitting flames! Reciting the lyrics bar for bar!
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: I can only hope my daughter is that passionate about her own musical interests when she’s a teen.
But for now, she’s in first grade. And even with this exposure to classic music and cultural icons, we still get pummeled with high-pitched voices singing overly joyous jingles.
And through those kiddie jams, again, I find important musical lessons.
My daughter loves this one PBS Kids show called “Hero Elementary.” It’s about a group of children who have special superpowers, but they’re still learning how to properly use them– hence the schooling.
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: The show’s theme song is a catchy tune, one of the many children’s songs that unfortunately gets stuck in my head and plays on repeat at the worst times– like during important meetings.
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: A few weeks ago I was up late, writing and listening to some miscellaneous jazz tunes, when I heard Michel Camilo’s 1989 song “On Fire.”
I jumped up like my daughter did when she heard the Zapp song that Tupac sampled, “Hero Elementary!” I said to myself in the living room.
In listening to children’s song after children’s song, I’m reminded that the catchy music and melodic storytelling that works for the babies also works in grown folks’ music.
Listen closely to songs like Tupac’s “Hail Mary” Or “Ambitionz Az A Ridah,” aside from the menacing delivery and the vulgarity, he’s reciting his lyrics like they’re a Mother Goose tale.
My daughter and I listen to some select Tupac songs, and have discussed his impact– as well as the legacies of Amy Winehouse, Bob Marley, Aaliyah and other artists who’ve become ancestors too soon.
But it’s the Tupac songs that have brought about the best conversations.
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: Through them we’ve discussed oppression and liberation, Pac’s connection to Oakland and the Black Panther Party. And we’ve talked about the real meanings of the B-word and the N-word.
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: I’m mindful of the cuss words, as well as the sentiment in the songs I play when she’s around. I try to stay away from the R&B songs that have lyrics like “I can’t live without you,” because language about healthy relationships is just as important as learning not to cuss.
And we haven’t even gotten to the rap songs with violent lyrics, references to drugs or deep-seated misogyny.
Besides “Getting It” I haven’t played any Short for her, nor any E-40.
But she knows who Tupac, Snoop Dogg and Ice Cube are. And at the age of seven, she can identify the voices of Erykah Badu and Stevie Wonder.
The educational exploration of music hasn’t stopped her from learning “Baby Shark” or memorizing songs from The Little Mermaid soundtrack, she’s still very much so a kid.
And I’m enjoying seeing her grow. I’m fortunate to have this experience. Some people don’t have the luxury of playing music constantly, or riding around discussing art with their children. Some folks aren’t even able to be with their children at all. So I don’t take this time for granted.
[Nipsey Hussle memorial clip]
Pendarvis Harshaw: Four years ago at the funeral for the late hip-hop legend and entrepreneur, Nipsey Hussle, his longtime girlfriend, the talented actress Lauren London, said something that I think about a lot.
She stood behind a podium, wearing a bright white gown and dark black sunglasses, as her hair draped over her shoulders.
Speaking to the audience at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, she shared a prepared statement reflecting on what Nipsey brought to the world– and specifically their family.
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: She said that Nipsey would wake up in the morning and play music for the kids, simultaneously lighting sage and burning it around the house. It was his effort to get everyone’s energy right before walking out the door.
I think about that – as I’m lighting an incense or a candle as the sun rises, and i’m looking through my playlists trying to figure out the first song of the day. Knowing that I’m not just a dad posing as a DJ, but a human using one of the highest forms of art to lend some guidance to another human who is on their spiritual journey.
Pendarvis Harshaw: What do you like about music?
Zuri: I like that it sounds fun and funny sometimes and it’s cool.
Pendarvis Harshaw: How does music make you feel?
Zuri: Happy because you get to dance!
[Music playing]
Pendarvis Harshaw: This episode was written by me, Pendarvis Harshaw and my daughter, Zuri.
It was produced by Marisol Medina-Cadena and Maya Cueva
Our editor is Chris Hambrick and our engineer is Christopher Beale.
The Rightnowish team is supported by Sheree Bishop, Jen Chien , Holly Kernan, Xorje Olivares, Cesar Saldaña , and Katie Sprenger.
Thank you all for listening!
Until next time, peace.
Rightnowish is a KQED production.
Rightnowish is an arts and culture podcast produced at KQED. Listen to it wherever you get your podcasts or click the play button at the top of this page and subscribe to the show on NPR One, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, TuneIn, Stitcher or wherever you get your podcasts.
