The moment Haleema Bharoocha wakes up in the morning, she scrolls through social media to find out what’s happening in Gaza. The 25-year-old Muslim UC Berkeley graduate student said the footage makes her want to vomit, scream and cry.
Bharoocha couldn’t eat after watching footage of newborns found dead at a hospital in Gaza. Nurses had fled during intense fighting.
“How could you have an appetite after you saw decomposing babies in a hospital?” she asked. “It really does feel like I’m kind of hanging on by the last thread that I have in myself.”
Recently, while studying at the library, she said she started to hallucinate.
“There was a plastic wrapper that fell. But in my mind, for like two seconds, I thought it was a rat crawling towards me, and I just jumped,” she said. “Or I thought the person sitting next to me was moving. But they weren’t.”
As the Israel-Hamas war stretches into its 12th week, videos from overseas continue to shock viewers and listeners in the Bay Area. Footage from war has never been palatable. But today, social media provides instantaneous images from the battleground; horrific and violent videos — both real and fake. Every day, social media platforms are rivers of atrocities, which can leave people emotionally triggered, overwhelmed and unstable.
Shoshanna Howard learned about the initial attacks by Hamas on Israel when she was scrolling through social media. In the days following the Oct. 7 offensive, she happened upon a video that went viral showing what appeared to be Hamas fighters pulling a woman with blood seeping through her sweatpants out of a truck. She was limping, handcuffed and blindfolded.
“That broke me,” Howard said. “I could not fathom what was happening. And then seeing friends calling it liberation.”
Howard, who is Jewish and has cousins living in Israel, was mortified that people she cared about were responding to the horrific acts by making statements that, to her, felt anti-Jewish. As the days passed, it became harder and harder to focus on running her communications business in Oakland.
“That’s when I started to have night terrors,” Howard said. “I was ending my days going into my closet. I would just cry and turn off the lights. Close the door. It just felt like what I had to do.”
These symptoms reflect secondary trauma, according to Sara Ghalaini, a licensed psychotherapist in Berkeley. She said an individual may experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder if they are exposed to people who have been traumatized or hear descriptions of traumatic events.
“If you’re surrounded by it or witnessing it, you yourself are also part of that, even if you don’t realize you are,” Ghalaini said.
She recommended people who are suffering surround themselves with community. Some people may find relief praying at a mosque, temple or church. Others may feel better after hitting the gym. Ghalaini said we are experiencing a “collective grief” and advised people to be gentle on themselves as there is no quick fix.
Bharoocha said she feels less helpless when she is protesting. She volunteers for groups that have organized numerous rallies, including a mass student walkout on Oct. 25. “For me, those are spaces to grieve and process,” she said.
Howard found relief in listening to sermons or Hebrew songs online. She said she has Karolina’s “Af Echad Lo Ba li” on repeat. But Howard’s major lifeline is talking to her psychotherapist, who recommended taking a break from social media.
Howard said that has been “really, really significant” for her mental health. She also suggests people find somewhere safe to talk.
“A place that you can go, that you can let down your guard, that you can speak your truth, and even do the work of accessing deeper truths,” said Robyn Bloom, the director of adult services for Jewish Family and Children’s Services in San Francisco.
Many organizations in the Bay Area, like the Khalil Center or Jewish Family and Children Services offer mental health support. You can also join a sewing circle or take a walk in nature.
“What’s happening is not normal,” Ghalaini said. “What’s happening is awful, and it’s happening to a lot of people whether you’re there or not.”
Ghalaini’s best advice is to slow down. Give yourself and the people around you a lot of grace.
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