Newly Appointed Executive Jupiter In a solar system shakeup, Jupiter has been promoted to Executive Planet. The International Solar Assembly Advisory Council has also endorsed Jupiter’s choice of Saturn to be its Deputy Executive Planet.

In their new roles, Jupiter will oversee intersolar relations and treaties, and Saturn will oversee domestic and budgetary affairs.

The management change was foreseen by many observers as a natural outgrowth of the coup that removed Pluto from the Planetary Congress in Earth Year 2006. Prior to the ouster, Pluto frequently voted with the once formidable inner circle of rock planets, which has backed efforts to restore Pluto’s planetary status.

Planetary Congress’ inner circle was initially shaken by Pluto’s abrupt departure, briefly deadlocked between the four gas giants and four remaining rock planets, but Venus’ swing vote has since tended more gaseous, giving the giants a clear majority.

In the event of a 4-4 vote, the sun, which normally presides over the Planetary Congress in a nonvoting role, is allowed to cast a tie breaking vote. While technically plasma, the sun still leaned gaseous in 75% of prior cases.

One of Jupiter’s most controversial campaign promises included demoting Mercury to a “toy planet,” a new category of not-quite-planet to be created specifically for objects of approximately Mercury’s size and obstinate disposition. This move would leave room in the nine-seat Congress for gas-sympathizers Ganymede and Titan. The Advisory Council has been silent on whether or not such a move would be permissible.

Jupiter has promised to lengthen the years of every planet, but particularly those of the gas giants. In Earth Year 1997, Mars, along with Mercury, Earth, and then-planet Pluto, famously questioned where the funding for these time increases will come from; Jupiter has maintained that the additional time provided per annum will leave ample opportunity for funding strategies to be developed.

While Earth’s jobs as Minority Whip and Prime Minister of the Inner Circle High Council remain unthreatened, it could find its political influence eclipsed by the rising gas giants’ power.

Europa has, as expected, refrained from comment, consistent with its change in border status in Earth Year 2001.

ISAAC Promotes Jupiter to Executive Planet 12 April,2012Brian Underwood

  • Andrew Alden

    This is typical of our increasingly dysfunctional solar system. Why can’t all states of matter get along?

  • Chandana Nimal Sepala Yoga

    Help Me NASA

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