Both The Bachelor segment and the Bunheads derby scenes were filmed at the Doll House, famed warehouse home of the Los Angeles Derby Dolls (L.A.D.D.). On The Bachelor, Vaguely-Handsome-Chiseled-Bachelor-Dude takes his gaggle of slim-shiny-haired suitors to the Doll House where they are told they will learn the basics of roller derby and then compete in a bout against each other. After several injuries and a trip to the hospital for one contestant, they all realize that roller derby is actually really freaking difficult and, instead of the bout, they free skate around the track (womp womp).

What does it mean that contestants on The Bachelor are doing roller derby? On the one hand, I want to be like: Yeah! Mainstream culture is getting feminist! It values representations of a women’s sport that embraces women’s physical power and independence! But, on the other hand, this is The Bachelor we’re talking about. It’s right behind Jan Brewer and the wage gap on the list of Stuff Holding Women Back. Having a bunch of adult women doing derby as part of a competition to win marriage to an alpha-male kind of annihilates whatever inherent feminism derby might bring to the situation. However, back on the first hand, the producers of The Bachelor wouldn’t have the opportunity to appropriate derby for their nefarious purposes if it hadn’t exploded in popularity via a totally DIY, grassroots movement -- the representation, however disappointing, is still a testament to the impact roller derby has made on our culture at large. It’s sort of like how on America’s Next Top Model, you can always tell a girl is doing well by how much crap the other girls are talking about her in the confessional.

On Bunheads, which is an ABC Family show about a ballet school, a student looks to roller derby to provide an outlet for her aggression. She gets obsessed with it and ends up ditching her BFF during a crucial life-moment because she’s too busy skating, a plot line you may recognize from the movie Whip-It.

Whoa! ABC Family. That means Grandmas in the Bible Belt are up on roller derby. Is it only a matter of time before Derby Moms on Lifetime?

Of course, anyone who’s played the game will tell you that these most recent portrayals only reveal a tiny slice of the magnificent, sweaty, hard-hitting pie that is modern roller derby.

For starters, L.A.D.D. skates on a banked track. Out of over 1,400 leagues world-wide, only 22 skate on a banked track. The rest skate on varying flat surfaces on a track of standardized dimensions. Also, you’re way more likely to find women in compression pants than fishnets at your average roller derby practice.

What do these recent representations of roller derby on network television tell us? (I mean, besides that some exec at ABC probably skates for L.A.D.D.?) Is the Bunheads plot a sign that even in ABC Family territory, girls are being given the message that being tough and aggressive is a totally cool thing for a girl to do? Is it a big deal that The Bachelor took a sport that has empowered a crap-ton of women and made it into just another forum for women to compete for patriarchal security?

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