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'RuPaul's Drag Race: All Stars 2' Cast Revealed! Here's Who Will Win and Who Doesn't Have a Shot in Hell

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Photo: Logo and Entertainment Weekly

Last summer, a second season of RuPaul's Drag Race: All Stars was announced. I immediately put together a list of the queens that needed to be involved and then waited. And waited. Interviewed Season 8 winner, Bob the Drag Queen. And waited some more.

11 long months later, we're finally getting our first glimpse of the cast! Six of the 10 queens I requested last July are accounted for, so there's a 31% chance RuPaul read my piece and thought Cogent points! (He must have been skimming though cause he missed the whole this-will-be-nothing-without-Willam bit.) Half of the All Stars 2 girls are from Season 5, which is odd, but (almost) all of them are great so (almost) no complaints here.

Word on the street (i.e. gay Reddit) is that there will be no teams this time around, which was a major criticism of the first All Stars. Also unlike the last time around, there aren't any obvious filler queens (*cough*Mimi Imfurst*cough*). The competition, which starts airing on August 25, 2016, is sure to bring all the death drops, filthy reads, fireworks and everything else we've come to expect. But who is poised to snatch the crown and who doesn't have a shot in hell? Using a very unscientific, very subjective point system, I'm going to try and figure it out!

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Tatianna

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(Season 2, 4th place)

Strength:

Always says 'Thank you.' (+1 point)

She's the only queen from the first three seasons so she's clearly learned something from her idol Britney Spears about staying power. (+2 points)

Isn't afraid to tell loud, obnoxious queens singing Beyonce's "Halo" to shut up. Reality TV producers are known to rig shows to keep girls who aren't afraid of a little confrontation. (+2 points)

Drag Race judges love when a queen takes their critiques, applies them without attitude and grows from them. Judging by the look above, Tati has evolved a lot over the past six years. (+3 points)

Weakness:

Her personality is a bit understated (early seasons weren't so amped) so she might struggle to stand out amongst these big personalities. (-5 points)

 

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Phi Phi O'Hara

(Season 4, third place)

Strength:

The internet loves her recent cosplay reinvention. (+3 points)

She has stepped up her image by moving away from pageantry to artsy glamour. (+3 points)

She has a problem with everyone and brings the drama, which is the life blood of all reality TV shows. (+5 points)

Weakness:

Her stank, evil, bitter personality. (I wanna say -2098, but - 3 points, I guess).

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Katya

(Season 7, fifth place)

Strength: 

Her kooky sense of humor. (+4 points)

Her ability to jump into the splits. (+2 points)

Her Miss Congeniality title. (+4 points)

The fact that so many people thought she was robbed that RuPaul pretended to crown her at the finale for laughs. (+5 points)

Weakness: 

All Stars 2 was taped right after Katya's season so, while some of the other queens have had years to augment their personas, Katya hasn't had the time to reflect, find new inspiration and grow. (-3 points)

Her sometimes tragic sense of style. (-1 points)

Her anxiety and nerves really got the best of her during her first lap. That could hurt her again, if she hasn't developed a coping mechanism yet. (-2 points)

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Alaska

(Season 5, second place)

Strength:

She's a catchphrase machine. (+3 points)

She's a weirdo (in the best way). (+1 point)

She's water-out-your-nose hilarious. (+3 points)

She lost in what felt like a photo finish. (+2 points)

She's one of the most beloved queens to come out of the show. (+5 points)

She always thinks outside the box and surprises the judges. (+4 points)

Weakness: N/A

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Coco Montrese

(Season 5, fifth place)

Strength:

Her rivalry with Alyssa. That's the only reason she's here. She knows it. I know it. You know it. Let's all know it together. (+1 point)

Weakness:

RuPaul and the judges love a queen who stuns visually, as well as on a comedic level. The only funny thing about Coco is when she cakes on orange make-up. (-4 points).

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Adore Delano

(Season 6, second place)

Strength:

Her singing voice. (+2 points)

Her irreverent sense of humor. (+2 points)

Her popularity outside of the show. (+2 points)

Her runner-up status. (+1 points)

Her shameless Libra-ness. (+1 point)

Weakness:

Her "hog body" struggles. (-2 points)

Her often lazy drag looks. (-4 points)

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Alyssa Edwards

(Season 6, sixth place)

Strength:

Her tongue pops. (+1 point)

Her ability to turn gibberish into catchphrase gold (i.e. "Squirpin' like a chirpin' like a bird"). (+4 points)

Her dancing prowess (splits, kicks, and twists, oh my!). (+3 points)

Her overblown personality (so overblown that Violet Chatchki impersonated her for the Snatch Game, which is usually reserved for high-profile celebrities). (+3 points)

Her overwhelming success post-Drag Race. (+4 points)

Her ability to make delicious television without being polarizing. (+2 points)

Weakness:

Her blindness to her own flaws (back rolls?!). (-5 points)

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Detox

(Season 5, fourth place)

Strength:

Usually creates looks that the judges haven't seen before. (+3 points)

Inspired the black-and-white challenge from Season 8. (+2 points)

Founding member of drag group DWV of "Boy Is A Bottom" fame. (+1 points)

Weakness:

Tendency to clique up, instead of keeping the focus on herself. (-3 points)

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Roxxxy Andrews

(Season 5, third place)

Strength:

Her makeup skills. (+4 points)

Her reveal-in-case-of-emergency hideaway wigs. (+2 points)

Weakness:

Whatever she's wearing above. (-1 points)

Her bullying tendencies. (-5 points)

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Ginger Minj

(Season 7, second place)

Strength:

Great at improv, which usually plays a part in every challenge. (+5 points)

Polished looks. (+3 points)

Makes RuPaul laugh. (+4 points)

Weakness:

Forgets that there's a difference between reading someone and being a jerk. (-2 points)

Is committed to an older style of drag, while the judges like to reward queens who push the envelope. (-3 points)

Like Katya, hasn't had time after her season to grow. (-3 points)

So what do all these arbitrary numbers predict will happen?

10th place: Coco Montrese

9th place: Roxxxy Andrews

8th place: Adore Delano

7th place: Tatianna

6th place: Detox

5th place: Ginger Minj

4th place: Phi Phi

3rd place: Katya

2nd place: Alyssa Edwards

ALL STAR WINNER: Alaska!

 

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But math isn't really my thing so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. We'll find out on August 25! See y'all then!

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