It's Friday, April 15, and across these great United States, that loud thump you're hearing is the sound of hard-working Americans' foreheads hitting their desks in the universal sign for "Goddammit, THIS AGAIN."
If you're one of those virtuous people who filed their forms weeks or even months ago, congratulations. How lovely for you. Pat yourself on the back. Now get outta here.
I'm talking to my people: the dawdlers, the heel-draggers, the last-minute panickers. The good news is that, because of a Washington, D.C. holiday called Emancipation Day, the Internal Revenue Service is actually closed on April 15, so your taxes aren't due until next Monday, April 18. We love you, Emancipation Day. We'd never heard of you before, but we love you.
With this in mind -- the fact that you have the entire, glorious weekend to sift through insurance forms and bank statements and scrutinize thousands of tiny numbered boxes and ponder questions like "Could my income from my last job technically be considered wages earned as an inmate?" while you could be taking a beautiful hike outside or belting Whitney Houston at karaoke or sharing a meal with your loved ones -- here are a handful of tax- and empty bank account-themed tunes to keep you company as you toil.
Pro tip: You can't claim cats as dependents. I checked.
