Since the dawn of time (the ’90s), Halloween has been a time for people to fly their political colors while simultaneously showing their friends/the world how clever and attractive they are. This year it is pretty much guaranteed that Halloween parties will be overrun with people creatively interpreting “Government Shutdown” with cardboard, felt, poster paint, caution tape and leggings from American Apparel. However, we know our readers are a deeper, more original bunch, and you will be looking for political Halloween costumes to set you apart from the herd. What follows are my suggestions. If you make any of them happen, please send me pictures!
1. Smoking Smokey
Last week The Daily Show had a good bit about how Smokey the Bear was off-duty and throwing cigarettes into the forest. If you have a bear costume, you owe it to your neighborhood to be this. Bonus points if you can get a child into this costume.
2. Miley Michele Bachmann
If you missed Miley Cyrus as Sexy Michele Bachmann on Saturday Night Live, you basically haven’t lived. If you dress as this this year, you can pull a Halloween Hat Trick: Miley, politics and sexiness!
3. Sexy Bashar al-Assad
Remember how Syria is like a thing guys? This is the I’m-a-Dude-and-Don’t-Want-to-Put-Effort-into-This Costume of the year. Put on a suit, grow some stubble, and when anyone asks you about chemical weapons, just say, “I haven’t seen any evidence yet.” Make it sexy by cutting your suit jacket into a crop-top. In need of a couple’s costume? Get your significant other to dress up as Charlie Rose.
4. Sexy Janet L. Yellen
President Obama has just nominated a new head of the Federal Reserve and guess what! She’s a lady! Sure she’s got brains (Obama says she’s “one of the nation’s foremost economists and policy makers”) but this is Halloween so sex it up by getting a wig in the shape of her soon-to-be-trademark short, white pixie cut and just wear whatever Miley Cyrus costume you already had planned. One idea: get/make a crop-top, preferably white and see-through, that says “WORLD’S MOST POWERFUL ECONOMIST!”
5. Sexy Obamacare Website
In some states the websites people need to go to to sign up for the health care exchange had a rough start. In California, the whole thing seemed to work pretty smoothly. This means that wherever you stand on Obamacare, you can make a costume out of it! All you need is a box, some markers/crayons/paint/or even just a screenshot of the home screen of an Affordable Care Act website. Make the box into a computer and put on a bikini. Then put the box on your head!
Happy Halloween friends! Don’t forget to send pictures!