Meryl Christ

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So I guess that means I’m kind of nuts because, every year, I think the Oscars won’t be super duper boring and they always are, except for those brief rays of light that keep us coming back for more. Here’s a rundown of the moments that were able to distract me from my three hour Seth McFarland-related eye-rolling.

1. Let’s just get the big one out of the way: THE FALL starring Jennifer Lawrence. You’ve probably rewatched that oops! moment at least twice so let’s use this space to focus on what we didn’t see during the telecast: both Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman rushing to her aid. Chivalry lives!

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2. How do you solve a problem like Renee Zellweger? We don’t see much of her these days (maybe ’cause she’s busy shilling lemon sour candy), but she emerged from the shadows last night to bring awareness to pre-gaming too hard before a work function.

BEFORE:

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AFTER:

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3. It didn’t quite feel like the Oscars until the godmother of celluloid, Meryl Streep, graced the stage. Despite having nothing to do with Lincoln, Daniel Day Lewis spent quite some time working her into his acceptance speech (apparently winners have a history of thanking her more than that dude upstairs). But let’s rewind a little to when she skipped the whole this-envelope-is-super-hard-to-open bit and just blurted out who won. Did she even read what was inside or just decide who should win on her own? The answer is it doesn’t matter. Meryl doesn’t abide by rules, she makes them, and rule #1 is she can do whatever she wants.

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4. Speaking of the trouble with envelopes, a couple people didn’t have the easiest time with them.

5. Kristen Stewart’s hobble, the latest brick in her I-don’t-care-about-fame-or-what-you-think bratitude.

Yahoo!

6. And last, but certainly not least, Quvenzhan√©’s guns.

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  • kim shepard

    This is by far is my favorite wrap up. I actually laughed out loud for 3 out of the 6.

  • SDixon

    This is a waste of time. Juvenile.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Green/1218307463 Karen Green

    What dude upstairs? The projectionist? Like god if she/he exists really cares about the oscars.

    • ehapsis

      That particular article is talking about god, but I really wish projectionists got that much love.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Karen-Green/1218307463 Karen Green

        I was being tongue in cheek. I know it was about god.

Author

Emmanuel Hapsis

Emmanuel Hapsis studied creative writing at University of Maryland, College Park and went on to receive his MFA in the field from California College of the Arts. After a few years of odd jobs, he landed at KQED, where he worked his way up from an intern to being the lead producer of a literature podcast and then the creator and editor of KQED Pop. In his free time, he teaches yoga and sings his heart out at karaoke.

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