Malina Gleitsman: Finding Imperfections in Performance

Malina Gleitsman found that all of her hard work and perseverance paid off–just not in the way she expected.

My alarm blares in the room and jolts me from my sleep. The second my eyes fly open, I am reminded of where I am: Youth America Grand Prix finals, a dance competition. Nervousness slugs me in the stomach; my whole life has been working up to this day. My dance team and I will be performing a contemporary piece we have been working on for months. And this performance is a competition‒ one between many of the most amazing dancers in the world. That’s why our execution must be perfect.

Preparation passes by in a blur: breakfast, makeup, hair, costumes. As we arrive at the theater, I can hear the expanding and contracting of my heart. Inside, my mind races as I go through last minute rehearsals. Our teachers grill us one more time on their concerns.

Soon, I am backstage. I watch each routine before me tick away, each dancer at a caliber of complete perfection. How can I compare, much less compete, with that?

The announcer calls the name of our piece. There’s a moment, right before I go onstage, when my body is overcome by adrenaline and worry, my heartbeat crashing in my head. I must be perfect.

My music clicks on, and I begin my movement, just like I have a million times before. Despite what’s on the line, I feel my heartbeat syncing up to the pulse of the music. And while I’m being enveloped by evaluating eyes, I forget to think about being perfect. It’s just me, with my group, portraying our work in the best way we know possible. I fly through the air with pas de chats and use my fullest port de bras. It’s not perfect, but that’s not the point. We are conveying our months of effort in three minutes; we’re showing ourselves and the world what we can do.

And in an instant, it’s over, and I glide off the stage. But I take one thing with me, and it’s not a mental note of blemishes in my performance. It’s this:

I won’t be afraid to be seen trying. Trying shows that I care; it shows what a unique, imperfect, human being I am.

We didn’t win the competition, but it certainly felt like a victory.

With a Perspective, I’m Malina Gleitsman.

Malina Gleitsman is a high school freshman. She has been dancing since she was six years old and also enjoys reading, writing, and STEM.