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As she leads him in by the hand, she gives him the pep talk.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Remember: My name is Tyran. I am loved. I am worthy. And I'm highly intelligent. Got it?”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Tyran has nonverbal autism, so Reece has come to intuit his every gesture and sound. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Early signs of autism can appear in children during their first two years of life, with\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/autism-spectrum-disorder-communication-problems-children\"> some children becoming verbal as they grow older\u003c/a>. Reece is wearing her “I Love Someone With Autism” T-shirt as she walks up to the classroom door. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“You know the drill. Big boys on one side of the door, mommies on the other,” Reece tells him. Tyran starts to cry as he’s led in, and Reece turns away. \"This is the hardest part of my day,\" she admits.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reece brings her son here in the afternoons to a special education preschool at the Hayward Unified School District’s Student Information and Assessment Center (SIAC). But she often feels like it's hard to get the school to respond to what she knows is best for her son. \u003c/span>[pullquote size=\"medium\" align=\"right\" citation=\"Keana Reece, parent\"]'It's a ton of work, but it's either do the work or let him fall under the bridge. It's the educational system.'[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“I talk to the teacher maybe two minutes a week. They take him in. They bring him out. I don't know what he's learning. I don't know anything,” Reece said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When the Hayward school district seemed to give her the runaround on buying a new electronic PECS board — a speech tablet that would make it easier for Tyran to communicate — she saved up and sacrificed to buy one herself. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When she learned the preschool wouldn’t do inclusion, where Tyran could be with children who did not have disabilities, she began looking for one that would. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“It's disheartening because I know who he is, I know what he's capable of. When I look at him, I see greatness,” she said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“It's a ton of work, but it's either do the work or let him fall under the bridge. It's the educational system. I just don't know how to navigate the system, and it's overwhelming.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">That kind of stress can take a toll.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“I was so involved in Tyran and making sure our time was together and making sure the house was together, making sure my husband was together. That Keana was falling by the wayside, and some days it was four or five o'clock and I realized I hadn't eaten anything all day,” she said.\u003c/span>\u003cb> \u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909837\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-scaled.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11909837\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Four children are climbing on a playground structure outside.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-2048x1536.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-1920x1440.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kids play at The Primary School East Bay on Oct. 13, 2021. Children with health care needs are seen by Kaiser medical staff who coordinate solutions with teachers and parents. \u003ccite>(Julia McEvoy/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parenting during the pandemic has been rough on a lot of families. According to research done by \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.626456/full\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Frontiers in Psychiatry\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, parents reported increased stress due to difficulty in parenting, with 1 in 5 reporting high stress over the course of the pandemic. Children's resulting social and emotional issues have been showing up inside school classrooms. But while \u003ca class=\"c-link\" href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11908813/california-to-funnel-billions-into-mental-health-resources-for-young-people-but-will-it-come-soon-enough\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-stringify-link=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11908813/california-to-funnel-billions-into-mental-health-resources-for-young-people-but-will-it-come-soon-enough\" data-sk=\"tooltip_parent\" data-remove-tab-index=\"true\">billions in pandemic tax dollars\u003c/a> have been allocated to help schools with kids’ mental health, little has been done for parents.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It took Reece finding a new preschool to get the help she needed.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reece has a trusting relationship with her pediatrician at the Kaiser Hayward-Sleepy Hollow medical clinic. So when she got an email from him about a new public preschool that Kaiser physicians were helping design, she was intrigued.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What she found was a place where she would get to be part of Tyran’s education, and where school staff would treat her as an equal partner. They would also give her a personal coach who would check in with her biweekly.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“If there's something at school that I just can't talk to the teacher about or I don't know who to go to, I can call Diane,” said Reece. “‘Hey, this is my problem, what do I do?’ And if it's something that I just can't bring up, she'll say, ‘I'll talk to them.’ So by the time they come to me, the issue was already brought out and the awkwardness of the situation has been taken away. It is pretty amazing.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The publicly funded preschool, called The Primary School East Bay, costs Reece nothing. The school prioritizes families who qualify based on income and enrolls them on a rolling basis when spots are available. Reece can also still keep Tyran in the traditional public school special education class in the afternoons, giving her full-day preschool. This allows her to keep her payroll job at the city of Oakland, though it means shuttling Tyran between schools during her lunch hour.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There was something else about this new school that appealed to her: It would have Kaiser medical staff on campus twice a week.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Inside the school, Dr. Paul Espinas points out two medical assistants and a nurse, all Kaiser staff, working outside at tables in the school’s grassy playground. Espinas is a Kaiser pediatrician and medical director at the preschool, which means he meets weekly with school staff to coordinate care for kids and their families.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“We should honor the work that school nurses have done in the area. We should honor the work that our school-based health clinics have done. But I feel like a lot of families are still trapped, trapped ping-ponging between different organizations within their community,” said Espinas.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Espinas had seen parents struggling to navigate the health care system, describing times when he’d screen a child for a developmental issue and make a referral, and the parent wouldn’t follow up.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“And if they don't make it, and I see them a year later still needing speech therapy or the speech, the speech problems are worse. Like, I feel like that's a systems fail on our part,” said Espinas.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Espinas says the clinic’s doctors work directly with teachers at the school to help parents schedule appointments, make sure families bring kids in for vaccines, or get the asthma medication they need. He said the teachers’ role in helping reach out to parents is pivotal, and called the intensive team effort unique.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“If we get this model right, other systems hopefully will replicate it. Other Kaisers, other big health systems,” said Espinas.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reece says the coordination takes stress off her. “I don't have a medical background and I don't have an educational background, either,” she said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When teachers at Hayward’s district-run preschool sends her to Tyran’s pediatrician to get more information about what Tyran needs, by the time she gets back to the school with the information, she has it confused. She said, \"I have answers, but I'm sure they're not as accurate as my Kaiser physician saying, 'I'll let the school know.'\"\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Because Kaiser staff communicate directly with The Primary School East Bay, now when Reece shows up at the school, teachers already have information her doctor has sent them, and she can sit down with staff to discuss next steps to best assist Tyran.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Teachers are also benefiting. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Remember last year during COVID? I didn't necessarily have to come up with a health plan. Our on-site doctor did,” explained Denise Laney, lead teacher at the school.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“As a teacher, I have had students come into my classroom with not the appropriate attire for the weather. I've had students that come in complaining of hunger. I've had families say, 'Hey, I know that my student needs glasses, but I can't afford it.' I know that someone's been complaining, their tooth hurting, but I'm not sure what to do, and we have resources for all of that.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Having health care staff on site also allows these early childhood educators to remain focused on teaching and creating a respectful way of including and engaging parents in how to best support their kids.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“So that we really are able to learn to not just assume things, but to ask a lot of open-ended questions,” said Natasha Hall-Sevilla, manager of parent wellness coaching. “To really learn and understand what our families are going through so that we can change ourselves, and change how we show up for families.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">All this can mean extra hours for teachers. But Laney says teachers like her are getting paid more than the norm for early childhood educators who have long complained about being undervalued. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There are only 48 children enrolled in The Primary School East Bay — three classrooms each with two teachers and a total staff of 15. So far, the estimated cost of the state-funded preschool is about $20,000 per child, with some of that coming from philanthropy.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">While there are other schools nationwide educators cite as the models they used to develop The Primary School East Bay, including the privately funded The Primary School in East Palo Alto, the East Bay school operates using state tax dollars. As it adds grades, it hopes to prove this kind of intensive wraparound support for families with public funding.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909836\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-scaled.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11909836\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Children and adults sit on the floor in a classroom.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-2048x1536.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-1920x1440.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Children gather around an instructor while Tyran is cradled by his applied behavior analysis therapist, to be part of a regular preschool class at The Primary School East Bay. \u003ccite>(Julia McEvoy/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">California is investing a historic $3 billion over the next five years to expand the community schools model. The goal is to make high-poverty schools into one-stop shops, serving students' social and emotional needs and, by extension, the needs of their families. The state is investing an additional $1 billion to help schools provide mental health services through partnerships with community health organizations. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Courtney Garcia oversees both The Primary School locations, and says public systems are not currently set up for different agencies to coordinate seamlessly and in a family-centered way, which complicates caregivers’ lives.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Parents really express, many of them, isolation, overwhelm and so many stressors that can make it really difficult for them to reach out and seek help, can make it difficult for them to overcome barriers to accessing resources that are there to serve their child and to serve their family in many cases,” Garcia said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Garcia points out that for children and families in Alameda who qualify for Medi-Cal, only 43% of children are having their annual preventive checkups. At The Primary School East Bay, 100% of students have had those checkups in the past year.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kaiser Permanente calls this integrated care between its medical staff and the school staff promising, though it wouldn’t say what share of the costs it was carrying. If Kaiser Permanente, one of California’s largest health care providers, were to supply medical staff to public schools, it could be a game changer.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This kind of coordination between her local health clinic and her school does take some stress out of Reece’s life, but not all of it. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When things get overwhelming, she turns to the parent coach hired by the school to focus on her well-being. The coach works with 40 to 50 parents. Hall-Sevilla, the parent coach coordinator, says coaches work on parent wellness, nutrition and stress management.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“And I'll say, 'Oh, my gosh, it sounds like you are really stressed out. I can hear and sense the stress in your voice. Would you be OK to take a breath with me?' And so we stop and we take a deep breath, and then they're able to continue on,” she said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Coaches also guide parents and guardians toward reaching their own goals, checking in every two weeks. Reece and other parents also are part of a monthly wellness group of parents who support one another.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Before they found The Primary School East Bay, Reece and her husband talked about her homeschooling Tyran, even though it would have meant giving up her job. They both decided Tyran’s needs have to come first.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“In my mind now, I don’t care if he's autistic, he's still going to grow up, he's still going to get married, he's still going to have kids … he's still, you know, he's still going to be a force to reckon with in this world,” she said. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reece has worked hard to get Tyran into the right preschool where she believes he can thrive. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Now she just has to find the right place for him to go to kindergarten.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"A publicly funded preschool called The Primary School East Bay offers services from Kaiser medical staff for children, as well as coaches to guide parents and guardians toward reaching their own goals.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1648835670,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":51,"wordCount":2234},"headData":{"title":"When Parents Melt Down, This School Hires a Coach to Help Them | KQED","description":"A publicly funded preschool called The Primary School East Bay offers services from Kaiser medical staff for children, as well as coaches to guide parents and guardians toward reaching their own goals.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"When Parents Melt Down, This School Hires a Coach to Help Them","datePublished":"2022-03-31T16:00:58.000Z","dateModified":"2022-04-01T17:54:30.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png","isAccessibleForFree":"Y","publisher":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","@id":"https://www.kqed.org/#organization","name":"KQED","url":"https://www.kqed.org","logo":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}}},"disqusIdentifier":"11909793 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11909793","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2022/03/31/when-parents-melt-down-this-school-hires-a-coach-to-help-them/","disqusTitle":"When Parents Melt Down, This School Hires a Coach to Help Them","audioUrl":"https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/0af137ef-751e-4b19-a055-aaef00d2d578/ffca7e9f-6831-4[…]f-aaef00f5a073/901fa651-fd7e-47cb-91c4-ae690134ad47/audio.mp3","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","path":"/news/11909793/when-parents-melt-down-this-school-hires-a-coach-to-help-them","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Keana Reece always makes sure she is last in line when she drops off her 4-year-old son, Tyran, at preschool, so she can minimize the trauma of handing him off to his teacher. As she leads him in by the hand, she gives him the pep talk.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Remember: My name is Tyran. I am loved. I am worthy. And I'm highly intelligent. Got it?”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Tyran has nonverbal autism, so Reece has come to intuit his every gesture and sound. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Early signs of autism can appear in children during their first two years of life, with\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/autism-spectrum-disorder-communication-problems-children\"> some children becoming verbal as they grow older\u003c/a>. Reece is wearing her “I Love Someone With Autism” T-shirt as she walks up to the classroom door. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“You know the drill. Big boys on one side of the door, mommies on the other,” Reece tells him. Tyran starts to cry as he’s led in, and Reece turns away. \"This is the hardest part of my day,\" she admits.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reece brings her son here in the afternoons to a special education preschool at the Hayward Unified School District’s Student Information and Assessment Center (SIAC). But she often feels like it's hard to get the school to respond to what she knows is best for her son. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'It's a ton of work, but it's either do the work or let him fall under the bridge. It's the educational system.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Keana Reece, parent","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“I talk to the teacher maybe two minutes a week. They take him in. They bring him out. I don't know what he's learning. I don't know anything,” Reece said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When the Hayward school district seemed to give her the runaround on buying a new electronic PECS board — a speech tablet that would make it easier for Tyran to communicate — she saved up and sacrificed to buy one herself. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When she learned the preschool wouldn’t do inclusion, where Tyran could be with children who did not have disabilities, she began looking for one that would. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“It's disheartening because I know who he is, I know what he's capable of. When I look at him, I see greatness,” she said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“It's a ton of work, but it's either do the work or let him fall under the bridge. It's the educational system. I just don't know how to navigate the system, and it's overwhelming.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">That kind of stress can take a toll.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“I was so involved in Tyran and making sure our time was together and making sure the house was together, making sure my husband was together. That Keana was falling by the wayside, and some days it was four or five o'clock and I realized I hadn't eaten anything all day,” she said.\u003c/span>\u003cb> \u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909837\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-scaled.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11909837\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Four children are climbing on a playground structure outside.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-2048x1536.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6352-1920x1440.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kids play at The Primary School East Bay on Oct. 13, 2021. Children with health care needs are seen by Kaiser medical staff who coordinate solutions with teachers and parents. \u003ccite>(Julia McEvoy/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parenting during the pandemic has been rough on a lot of families. According to research done by \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.626456/full\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Frontiers in Psychiatry\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, parents reported increased stress due to difficulty in parenting, with 1 in 5 reporting high stress over the course of the pandemic. Children's resulting social and emotional issues have been showing up inside school classrooms. But while \u003ca class=\"c-link\" href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11908813/california-to-funnel-billions-into-mental-health-resources-for-young-people-but-will-it-come-soon-enough\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-stringify-link=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11908813/california-to-funnel-billions-into-mental-health-resources-for-young-people-but-will-it-come-soon-enough\" data-sk=\"tooltip_parent\" data-remove-tab-index=\"true\">billions in pandemic tax dollars\u003c/a> have been allocated to help schools with kids’ mental health, little has been done for parents.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It took Reece finding a new preschool to get the help she needed.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reece has a trusting relationship with her pediatrician at the Kaiser Hayward-Sleepy Hollow medical clinic. So when she got an email from him about a new public preschool that Kaiser physicians were helping design, she was intrigued.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What she found was a place where she would get to be part of Tyran’s education, and where school staff would treat her as an equal partner. They would also give her a personal coach who would check in with her biweekly.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“If there's something at school that I just can't talk to the teacher about or I don't know who to go to, I can call Diane,” said Reece. “‘Hey, this is my problem, what do I do?’ And if it's something that I just can't bring up, she'll say, ‘I'll talk to them.’ So by the time they come to me, the issue was already brought out and the awkwardness of the situation has been taken away. It is pretty amazing.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The publicly funded preschool, called The Primary School East Bay, costs Reece nothing. The school prioritizes families who qualify based on income and enrolls them on a rolling basis when spots are available. Reece can also still keep Tyran in the traditional public school special education class in the afternoons, giving her full-day preschool. This allows her to keep her payroll job at the city of Oakland, though it means shuttling Tyran between schools during her lunch hour.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There was something else about this new school that appealed to her: It would have Kaiser medical staff on campus twice a week.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Inside the school, Dr. Paul Espinas points out two medical assistants and a nurse, all Kaiser staff, working outside at tables in the school’s grassy playground. Espinas is a Kaiser pediatrician and medical director at the preschool, which means he meets weekly with school staff to coordinate care for kids and their families.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“We should honor the work that school nurses have done in the area. We should honor the work that our school-based health clinics have done. But I feel like a lot of families are still trapped, trapped ping-ponging between different organizations within their community,” said Espinas.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Espinas had seen parents struggling to navigate the health care system, describing times when he’d screen a child for a developmental issue and make a referral, and the parent wouldn’t follow up.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“And if they don't make it, and I see them a year later still needing speech therapy or the speech, the speech problems are worse. Like, I feel like that's a systems fail on our part,” said Espinas.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Espinas says the clinic’s doctors work directly with teachers at the school to help parents schedule appointments, make sure families bring kids in for vaccines, or get the asthma medication they need. He said the teachers’ role in helping reach out to parents is pivotal, and called the intensive team effort unique.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“If we get this model right, other systems hopefully will replicate it. Other Kaisers, other big health systems,” said Espinas.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reece says the coordination takes stress off her. “I don't have a medical background and I don't have an educational background, either,” she said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When teachers at Hayward’s district-run preschool sends her to Tyran’s pediatrician to get more information about what Tyran needs, by the time she gets back to the school with the information, she has it confused. She said, \"I have answers, but I'm sure they're not as accurate as my Kaiser physician saying, 'I'll let the school know.'\"\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Because Kaiser staff communicate directly with The Primary School East Bay, now when Reece shows up at the school, teachers already have information her doctor has sent them, and she can sit down with staff to discuss next steps to best assist Tyran.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Teachers are also benefiting. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Remember last year during COVID? I didn't necessarily have to come up with a health plan. Our on-site doctor did,” explained Denise Laney, lead teacher at the school.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“As a teacher, I have had students come into my classroom with not the appropriate attire for the weather. I've had students that come in complaining of hunger. I've had families say, 'Hey, I know that my student needs glasses, but I can't afford it.' I know that someone's been complaining, their tooth hurting, but I'm not sure what to do, and we have resources for all of that.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Having health care staff on site also allows these early childhood educators to remain focused on teaching and creating a respectful way of including and engaging parents in how to best support their kids.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“So that we really are able to learn to not just assume things, but to ask a lot of open-ended questions,” said Natasha Hall-Sevilla, manager of parent wellness coaching. “To really learn and understand what our families are going through so that we can change ourselves, and change how we show up for families.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">All this can mean extra hours for teachers. But Laney says teachers like her are getting paid more than the norm for early childhood educators who have long complained about being undervalued. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There are only 48 children enrolled in The Primary School East Bay — three classrooms each with two teachers and a total staff of 15. So far, the estimated cost of the state-funded preschool is about $20,000 per child, with some of that coming from philanthropy.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">While there are other schools nationwide educators cite as the models they used to develop The Primary School East Bay, including the privately funded The Primary School in East Palo Alto, the East Bay school operates using state tax dollars. As it adds grades, it hopes to prove this kind of intensive wraparound support for families with public funding.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11909836\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-scaled.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11909836\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Children and adults sit on the floor in a classroom.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-2048x1536.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/03/IMG_6346-1920x1440.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Children gather around an instructor while Tyran is cradled by his applied behavior analysis therapist, to be part of a regular preschool class at The Primary School East Bay. \u003ccite>(Julia McEvoy/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">California is investing a historic $3 billion over the next five years to expand the community schools model. The goal is to make high-poverty schools into one-stop shops, serving students' social and emotional needs and, by extension, the needs of their families. The state is investing an additional $1 billion to help schools provide mental health services through partnerships with community health organizations. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Courtney Garcia oversees both The Primary School locations, and says public systems are not currently set up for different agencies to coordinate seamlessly and in a family-centered way, which complicates caregivers’ lives.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Parents really express, many of them, isolation, overwhelm and so many stressors that can make it really difficult for them to reach out and seek help, can make it difficult for them to overcome barriers to accessing resources that are there to serve their child and to serve their family in many cases,” Garcia said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Garcia points out that for children and families in Alameda who qualify for Medi-Cal, only 43% of children are having their annual preventive checkups. At The Primary School East Bay, 100% of students have had those checkups in the past year.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kaiser Permanente calls this integrated care between its medical staff and the school staff promising, though it wouldn’t say what share of the costs it was carrying. If Kaiser Permanente, one of California’s largest health care providers, were to supply medical staff to public schools, it could be a game changer.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This kind of coordination between her local health clinic and her school does take some stress out of Reece’s life, but not all of it. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When things get overwhelming, she turns to the parent coach hired by the school to focus on her well-being. The coach works with 40 to 50 parents. Hall-Sevilla, the parent coach coordinator, says coaches work on parent wellness, nutrition and stress management.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“And I'll say, 'Oh, my gosh, it sounds like you are really stressed out. I can hear and sense the stress in your voice. Would you be OK to take a breath with me?' And so we stop and we take a deep breath, and then they're able to continue on,” she said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Coaches also guide parents and guardians toward reaching their own goals, checking in every two weeks. Reece and other parents also are part of a monthly wellness group of parents who support one another.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Before they found The Primary School East Bay, Reece and her husband talked about her homeschooling Tyran, even though it would have meant giving up her job. They both decided Tyran’s needs have to come first.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“In my mind now, I don’t care if he's autistic, he's still going to grow up, he's still going to get married, he's still going to have kids … he's still, you know, he's still going to be a force to reckon with in this world,” she said. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reece has worked hard to get Tyran into the right preschool where she believes he can thrive. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Now she just has to find the right place for him to go to kindergarten.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11909793/when-parents-melt-down-this-school-hires-a-coach-to-help-them","authors":["231"],"categories":["news_18540","news_8"],"tags":["news_980","news_30894","news_27626","news_421","news_30893","news_28373","news_17763","news_24739"],"featImg":"news_11909838","label":"news"},"news_11842747":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11842747","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11842747","score":null,"sort":[1603037120000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"helping-hands-need-a-break-too-how-to-lend-support-without-burning-out","title":"Helping Hands Need a Break, Too: How to Lend Support Without Burning Out","publishDate":1603037120,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED News","labelTerm":{},"content":"\u003cp>Feeling overwhelmed? Maybe the parent of a preschooler in your family just called to say they need extra help with child care, and a sick neighbor wants to know if you can pick up some groceries for her. Meanwhile, your best friend keeps calling, wanting to vent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In less stressful times, perhaps, you'd have jumped to help out and lend an ear. But after months of social isolation, juggling work demands, and caring for loved ones, the balance has started to tip. Suddenly your own need for emotional support is outweighing your capacity for kindness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's understandable, and OK. If you're feeling numb or overburdened these days in response to another's pain or request for help, that doesn't make you unkind. What you're feeling could instead be what we mental health professionals call \u003ca href=\"https://www.naadac.org/assets/2416/sharon_foley_ac15_militarycultureho2.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\"compassion fatigue.\"\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anxiety, sadness and low self-worth can also be \u003ca href=\"https://www.stress.org/military/for-practitionersleaders/compassion-fatigue\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">symptoms\u003c/a> of this sort of emotional exhaustion, the American Institute of Stress notes in guidance to therapists. Often we associate this \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7356120/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">stress condition\u003c/a> with counselors and other health care workers, but the \u003ca href=\"https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19/compassion-fatigue\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">American Psychological Association \u003c/a>warns that anyone who continually cares for others or who witnesses trauma is also at risk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J189v01n03_03\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Research\u003c/a> shows compassion fatigue \u003ca href=\"https://academic.oup.com/swr/article-abstract/42/1/33/4788592\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">can be successfully treated\u003c/a> — with stress-reduction techniques, such as meditation, as well as with therapy. The key is learning how to recognize the symptoms so that you can get help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the two of us — a psychologist and a social worker — feel like we have \"nothing left to give,\" supporting our own grieving friends or caring for a sick relative can feel like running a marathon with sore muscles. But showing compassion — and avoiding emotional burnout — doesn't have to be painful for therapists or anyone else. As Stanford psychologist \u003ca href=\"https://profiles.stanford.edu/jamil-zaki\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Jamil Zaki\u003c/a> notes in his book \"The War for Kindness,\" \"empathy is a skill we can all strengthen through effort.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here are some exercises we use to keep ourselves fresh that might help you replenish your empathy stores, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842749\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842749\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-1536x863.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-2048x1150.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-1920x1078.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Social workers know 'compassion fatigue' is a risk of the job, and have learned ways stay healthy and empathetic. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Shift your perspective \u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>How we perceive someone's suffering can impact our own well-being. In one \u003ca href=\"https://isiarticles.com/bundles/Article/pre/pdf/122495.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">study,\u003c/a> researchers found that individuals who \u003cem>feel\u003c/em> someone's pain may be more likely to experience distress than those who \u003cem>think\u003c/em> about how the person is feeling. Apparently, when we not only imagine ourselves in the suffering person's shoes but actually feel as they do, the body's stress response gets triggered.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The solution is to get a little \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-04047-3__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzBWPd2zvA%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">psychological distance\u003c/a> between your thoughts and feelings by trying a technique called, \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnsys.2014.00175/full__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzA_3Lh0eA%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\"cognitive reappraisal,\"\u003c/a> which is reframing how you see a stressful situation. \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29384468/__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzA7dBWNMQ%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Research \u003c/a>suggests it can help you diffuse negative emotions, which can make a real difference physically.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For instance, if your dear friend's heartache feels like your own, pause and ask yourself: \"What are some of the different feelings they might be experiencing right now?\" If their sorrow overtakes you, take a few deep breaths, or reach out to them to ask, \"What do you need right now?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Both tactics can help you recognize your friend's point of view, researchers who study empathy say, while \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735811001115__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzCDNAIJzg%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">tamping down your own stress response\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842750\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842750\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-2048x1152.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-1920x1080.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Your acts of kindness don't have to be huge for others to feel nurtured. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Show up in small ways\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>When someone's suffering is immense, it's easy to feel you have to show up in grand ways. When you hear a friend has cancer, for instance, you may feel you need to jump in to set up a meal train, and send daily text messages and flowers. When a coworker loses their home to wildfire or flood, your first impulse may be to organize a fundraiser or a clothing drive. But if you're also struggling to keep your own life and household afloat, these well-meant gestures may be too much for you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The good news: Your acts of kindness don't have to be huge for others to feel nurtured. In a \u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0265407517724600\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">2017 study\u003c/a>, 495 men and women answered a series of questions about what makes them feel loved. Results showed that the participants saw human connection as more meaningful expressions of care than receiving lavish gifts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Start by deciding how much time you can spare, and identify kind acts that sync with your schedule. If you're working full time and helping your children with remote learning, 30 minutes may be your max, and that's OK. Decide on a few gestures, such as sending a handwritten card or a gift certificate for groceries. Or send a text message that says, \"I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm thinking of you.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842751\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842751\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-1536x863.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-2048x1150.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-1920x1078.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">When we feel compassion fatigue, it's because our desire and ability to help are incompatible. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Practice self-compassion\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>When we feel compassion fatigue, it's because our desire and ability to help are incompatible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If a friend's been in an accident or is seriously ill, for example, you may wish you could drive them to every medical appointment, even though devoting that much time may not be realistic for you. That can set up a negative loop if the guilt and shame of not being able to meet your own standards keeps you from doing anything at all – which only amplifies your feelings of self-loathing. The result: Nobody is helped.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Learn instead to \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.649546\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">start with self-compassion\u003c/a>, which psychologist \u003ca href=\"https://self-compassion.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Kristin Neff\u003c/a> defines as \"personal acceptance, regardless if we succeed or fail.\" That can help \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17439760.2013.831465\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">break this cycle of self-blame\u003c/a> and help deploy your empathy for others. With self-compassion guiding us, we may say: \"At this moment, I accept that I'm exhausted. It's OK to take care of myself,\" or \"I accept that I can't do everything, but I'll help in small ways.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If self-directed kindness is challenging, \u003ca href=\"https://self-compassion.org/exercise-1-treat-friend/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Neff\u003c/a> recommends imagining a friend who's in a dilemma similar to the one you're facing. What advice might you give? You'd probably be kind and understanding, which can serve as a reminder to treat yourself that way, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842752\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842752\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-2048x1152.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-1920x1080.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">In times of grief, people benefit from the support of a community, research suggests. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Enlist the help of others\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Showing up for others doesn't mean you have to manage someone's difficulty all by yourself. In times of grief, people \u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29754514/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">benefit from the support of a community\u003c/a>, research suggests. In a \u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29754514/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">study\u003c/a> of 678 bereaved individuals, researchers found that having the support of friends, family and community helpers made a more significant difference than having just one professional's help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, if a lonely neighbor needs company, see if someone in their \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2020/05/17/857531803/the-pros-and-cons-of-social-bubbles\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">social bubble\u003c/a> can pay them a visit that day, or have a tech-savvy friend set up a video chat. Other friends who bake can leave cookies on their doorstep, and those who enjoy writing can pen heartfelt notes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>An online support group is another resource you might help your neighbor tap. Directories like \u003ca href=\"https://www.supportgroupscentral.com/index.cfm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Support Groups Central\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.psychologytoday.com/us\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Psychology Today\u003c/a> provide a list of groups for people coping with depression, anxiety or grief. It can help to connect, even virtually, with a community of people who share the same struggles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During this year of collective suffering, we need each other more than ever. Expressing empathy in small ways, while also extending kindness toward ourselves, can once again \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00223980.2018.1495170?scroll=top&needAccess=true\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">make helping other people feel like a joy\u003c/a>, instead of a burden. And \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/05/05/719780061/from-gloom-to-gratitude-8-skills-to-cultivate-joy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">cultivating joy in your life\u003c/a> can make any burden \u003cem>you're\u003c/em> carrying feel lighter, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Juli Fraga is a psychologist and writer in San Francisco. You can find her on Twitter \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/dr_fraga\">\u003cem>@dr_fraga\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>. Kelsey Crowe teaches social work at California State University and is the author of \u003c/em> \u003ca href=\"https://www.empathybootcamp.com/pages/the-book\">\"There Is No Good Card For This: What To Say And Do When Life Is Scary, Awful And Unfair To People You Love.\"\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Helping+Hands+Need+A+Break%2C+Too%3A+How+To+Lend+Support+Without+Burning+Out&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"These days, there are hundreds of reasons to open your heart to others, but it's easy to get exhausted. Try these tips honed by social workers for staying healthy and empathetic. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1603132893,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":25,"wordCount":1362},"headData":{"title":"Helping Hands Need a Break, Too: How to Lend Support Without Burning Out | KQED","description":"These days, there are hundreds of reasons to open your heart to others, but it's easy to get exhausted. Try these tips honed by social workers for staying healthy and empathetic. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"Helping Hands Need a Break, Too: How to Lend Support Without Burning Out","datePublished":"2020-10-18T16:05:20.000Z","dateModified":"2020-10-19T18:41:33.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png","isAccessibleForFree":"Y","publisher":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","@id":"https://www.kqed.org/#organization","name":"KQED","url":"https://www.kqed.org","logo":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}}},"disqusIdentifier":"11842747 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11842747","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2020/10/18/helping-hands-need-a-break-too-how-to-lend-support-without-burning-out/","disqusTitle":"Helping Hands Need a Break, Too: How to Lend Support Without Burning Out","source":"NPR","sourceUrl":"http://npr.com/","nprByline":"Kelsey Crowe, Juli Fraga","nprImageAgency":"Hanna Barczyk for NPR","nprStoryId":"916105564","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=916105564&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/10/17/916105564/helping-hands-need-a-break-too-how-to-lend-support-without-burning-out?ft=nprml&f=916105564","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Sat, 17 Oct 2020 07:00:00 -0400","nprStoryDate":"Sat, 17 Oct 2020 07:00:33 -0400","nprLastModifiedDate":"Sat, 17 Oct 2020 07:00:33 -0400","path":"/news/11842747/helping-hands-need-a-break-too-how-to-lend-support-without-burning-out","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Feeling overwhelmed? Maybe the parent of a preschooler in your family just called to say they need extra help with child care, and a sick neighbor wants to know if you can pick up some groceries for her. Meanwhile, your best friend keeps calling, wanting to vent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In less stressful times, perhaps, you'd have jumped to help out and lend an ear. But after months of social isolation, juggling work demands, and caring for loved ones, the balance has started to tip. Suddenly your own need for emotional support is outweighing your capacity for kindness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's understandable, and OK. If you're feeling numb or overburdened these days in response to another's pain or request for help, that doesn't make you unkind. What you're feeling could instead be what we mental health professionals call \u003ca href=\"https://www.naadac.org/assets/2416/sharon_foley_ac15_militarycultureho2.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\"compassion fatigue.\"\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anxiety, sadness and low self-worth can also be \u003ca href=\"https://www.stress.org/military/for-practitionersleaders/compassion-fatigue\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">symptoms\u003c/a> of this sort of emotional exhaustion, the American Institute of Stress notes in guidance to therapists. Often we associate this \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7356120/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">stress condition\u003c/a> with counselors and other health care workers, but the \u003ca href=\"https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19/compassion-fatigue\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">American Psychological Association \u003c/a>warns that anyone who continually cares for others or who witnesses trauma is also at risk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J189v01n03_03\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Research\u003c/a> shows compassion fatigue \u003ca href=\"https://academic.oup.com/swr/article-abstract/42/1/33/4788592\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">can be successfully treated\u003c/a> — with stress-reduction techniques, such as meditation, as well as with therapy. The key is learning how to recognize the symptoms so that you can get help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the two of us — a psychologist and a social worker — feel like we have \"nothing left to give,\" supporting our own grieving friends or caring for a sick relative can feel like running a marathon with sore muscles. But showing compassion — and avoiding emotional burnout — doesn't have to be painful for therapists or anyone else. As Stanford psychologist \u003ca href=\"https://profiles.stanford.edu/jamil-zaki\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Jamil Zaki\u003c/a> notes in his book \"The War for Kindness,\" \"empathy is a skill we can all strengthen through effort.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here are some exercises we use to keep ourselves fresh that might help you replenish your empathy stores, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842749\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842749\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-1536x863.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-2048x1150.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-1920x1078.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Social workers know 'compassion fatigue' is a risk of the job, and have learned ways stay healthy and empathetic. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Shift your perspective \u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>How we perceive someone's suffering can impact our own well-being. In one \u003ca href=\"https://isiarticles.com/bundles/Article/pre/pdf/122495.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">study,\u003c/a> researchers found that individuals who \u003cem>feel\u003c/em> someone's pain may be more likely to experience distress than those who \u003cem>think\u003c/em> about how the person is feeling. Apparently, when we not only imagine ourselves in the suffering person's shoes but actually feel as they do, the body's stress response gets triggered.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The solution is to get a little \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-04047-3__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzBWPd2zvA%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">psychological distance\u003c/a> between your thoughts and feelings by trying a technique called, \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnsys.2014.00175/full__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzA_3Lh0eA%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\"cognitive reappraisal,\"\u003c/a> which is reframing how you see a stressful situation. \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29384468/__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzA7dBWNMQ%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Research \u003c/a>suggests it can help you diffuse negative emotions, which can make a real difference physically.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For instance, if your dear friend's heartache feels like your own, pause and ask yourself: \"What are some of the different feelings they might be experiencing right now?\" If their sorrow overtakes you, take a few deep breaths, or reach out to them to ask, \"What do you need right now?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Both tactics can help you recognize your friend's point of view, researchers who study empathy say, while \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735811001115__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzCDNAIJzg%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">tamping down your own stress response\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842750\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842750\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-2048x1152.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-1920x1080.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Your acts of kindness don't have to be huge for others to feel nurtured. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Show up in small ways\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>When someone's suffering is immense, it's easy to feel you have to show up in grand ways. When you hear a friend has cancer, for instance, you may feel you need to jump in to set up a meal train, and send daily text messages and flowers. When a coworker loses their home to wildfire or flood, your first impulse may be to organize a fundraiser or a clothing drive. But if you're also struggling to keep your own life and household afloat, these well-meant gestures may be too much for you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The good news: Your acts of kindness don't have to be huge for others to feel nurtured. In a \u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0265407517724600\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">2017 study\u003c/a>, 495 men and women answered a series of questions about what makes them feel loved. Results showed that the participants saw human connection as more meaningful expressions of care than receiving lavish gifts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Start by deciding how much time you can spare, and identify kind acts that sync with your schedule. If you're working full time and helping your children with remote learning, 30 minutes may be your max, and that's OK. Decide on a few gestures, such as sending a handwritten card or a gift certificate for groceries. Or send a text message that says, \"I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm thinking of you.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842751\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842751\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-1536x863.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-2048x1150.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-1920x1078.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">When we feel compassion fatigue, it's because our desire and ability to help are incompatible. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Practice self-compassion\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>When we feel compassion fatigue, it's because our desire and ability to help are incompatible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If a friend's been in an accident or is seriously ill, for example, you may wish you could drive them to every medical appointment, even though devoting that much time may not be realistic for you. That can set up a negative loop if the guilt and shame of not being able to meet your own standards keeps you from doing anything at all – which only amplifies your feelings of self-loathing. The result: Nobody is helped.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Learn instead to \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.649546\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">start with self-compassion\u003c/a>, which psychologist \u003ca href=\"https://self-compassion.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Kristin Neff\u003c/a> defines as \"personal acceptance, regardless if we succeed or fail.\" That can help \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17439760.2013.831465\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">break this cycle of self-blame\u003c/a> and help deploy your empathy for others. With self-compassion guiding us, we may say: \"At this moment, I accept that I'm exhausted. It's OK to take care of myself,\" or \"I accept that I can't do everything, but I'll help in small ways.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If self-directed kindness is challenging, \u003ca href=\"https://self-compassion.org/exercise-1-treat-friend/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Neff\u003c/a> recommends imagining a friend who's in a dilemma similar to the one you're facing. What advice might you give? You'd probably be kind and understanding, which can serve as a reminder to treat yourself that way, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842752\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842752\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-2048x1152.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-1920x1080.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">In times of grief, people benefit from the support of a community, research suggests. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Enlist the help of others\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Showing up for others doesn't mean you have to manage someone's difficulty all by yourself. In times of grief, people \u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29754514/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">benefit from the support of a community\u003c/a>, research suggests. In a \u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29754514/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">study\u003c/a> of 678 bereaved individuals, researchers found that having the support of friends, family and community helpers made a more significant difference than having just one professional's help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, if a lonely neighbor needs company, see if someone in their \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2020/05/17/857531803/the-pros-and-cons-of-social-bubbles\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">social bubble\u003c/a> can pay them a visit that day, or have a tech-savvy friend set up a video chat. Other friends who bake can leave cookies on their doorstep, and those who enjoy writing can pen heartfelt notes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>An online support group is another resource you might help your neighbor tap. Directories like \u003ca href=\"https://www.supportgroupscentral.com/index.cfm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Support Groups Central\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.psychologytoday.com/us\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Psychology Today\u003c/a> provide a list of groups for people coping with depression, anxiety or grief. It can help to connect, even virtually, with a community of people who share the same struggles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During this year of collective suffering, we need each other more than ever. Expressing empathy in small ways, while also extending kindness toward ourselves, can once again \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00223980.2018.1495170?scroll=top&needAccess=true\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">make helping other people feel like a joy\u003c/a>, instead of a burden. And \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/05/05/719780061/from-gloom-to-gratitude-8-skills-to-cultivate-joy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">cultivating joy in your life\u003c/a> can make any burden \u003cem>you're\u003c/em> carrying feel lighter, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Juli Fraga is a psychologist and writer in San Francisco. You can find her on Twitter \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/dr_fraga\">\u003cem>@dr_fraga\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>. Kelsey Crowe teaches social work at California State University and is the author of \u003c/em> \u003ca href=\"https://www.empathybootcamp.com/pages/the-book\">\"There Is No Good Card For This: What To Say And Do When Life Is Scary, Awful And Unfair To People You Love.\"\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Helping+Hands+Need+A+Break%2C+Too%3A+How+To+Lend+Support+Without+Burning+Out&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11842747/helping-hands-need-a-break-too-how-to-lend-support-without-burning-out","authors":["byline_news_11842747"],"categories":["news_457","news_8"],"tags":["news_28680","news_21636","news_27626","news_28683","news_18543","news_28682","news_21423","news_24739"],"featImg":"news_11842748","label":"source_news_11842747"},"news_11835324":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11835324","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11835324","score":null,"sort":[1598901560000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"managing-anxiety-in-the-age-of-everything","title":"Managing Anxiety in the Age of Everything","publishDate":1598901560,"format":"image","headTitle":"KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>Editor's Note: A previous version of this story was published on August 31, 2020. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The ongoing COVID pandemic. A deepening climate catastrophe. An international refugee crisis. Widespread racial injustice. Extreme wealth inequality. Financial distress. Social isolation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's beyond doubt: We're up against a long list of stressful realities playing havoc with our individual mental health right now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postID=\"arts_13881725\" label=\"Local resources\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As \u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/12/20/pandemic-mental-health-crisis-gao-report/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Washington Post reported in December\u003c/a>, more than four out of 10 adults — or 43% — said they suffered from anxiety or depression according to a Census Bureau pulse survey in November 2020. The pandemic's prolonged impact on youth mental health has also proved \"devastating\" according to \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/07/science/pandemic-adolescents-depression-anxiety.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">a public advisory from the U.S. surgeon general.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There's also the sheer number of ongoing stories detailing the graphic deaths and attacks on people of color — particularly on Black and Asian communities across the U.S. From 2019 to 2020, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11880068/as-hate-crime-reports-rise-attorney-general-bonta-offers-multilingual-support\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">crimes targeting the Asian community in California increased by 107 percent\u003c/a>. Such stories can reignite trauma and disproportionately weigh on people of color.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Individually and collectively, we're \u003cem>not\u003c/em> OK right now. \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/2010101879345/how-to-cope-in-a-time-of-cumulative-stress-and-anxiety\">KQED Forum spoke\u003c/a> to experts about how you might personally manage what seems like an unmanageable amount of stressors:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Tracy Foose\u003c/strong>, psychiatrist with a focus on anxiety disorders and associate clinical professor of psychiatry, UCSF School of Medicine\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Spring Washam\u003c/strong>, author of \"A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Courage, and Wisdom in Any Moment\", and meditation teacher and co-founder, East Bay Meditation Center in Oakland\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Emiliana Simon-Thomas\u003c/strong>, science director of the Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch3>If it feels especially difficult right now, there's a \u003cem>really\u003c/em> good reason\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The world seems overwhelming right now ... because it is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A pandemic, racial injustice, wildfires, family lives turned upside down: What these things have in common, says psychiatrist Tracy Foose, is \"a kind of cumulative uncertainty.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation='Psychiatrist Tracy Foose']'We're going through a lot of unresolved, unfinished, un-closed traumatic experiences.'[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Each one of these individual stressors, things \"that we have no ability to predict and no ability to control at the individual level,\" she says, are momentous in their own right. But put them all together, and the challenge can feel insurmountable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All of this at once can also make you feel like you're getting \"compassion fatigue\": an inability to \u003cem>keep\u003c/em> caring, to \u003cem>keep\u003c/em> feeling loss and grief as more terrible things keep happening in the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This can lead to a person feeling a state of \"just feeling exhausted,\" says Emiliana Simon-Thomas of the Greater Good Science Center. \"Feeling disconnected and hopeless, or what some might call callous, about the possibility of anything ever changing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside tag=\"mental-health\" label=\"more coverage\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If this description is reminding you of your own feelings right now, you're not alone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it's not just the number of things that are happening right now, Foose says, but the fact that they're taking place on a global scale and just don't seem like they'll stop any time soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When we compare current events to previous traumatic historical periods, with the benefit of hindsight we can see both how those events started \u003cem>and \u003c/em>when they ended. But we can't foresee the end of our own traumatic experiences right now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's something she calls \"trauma limbo.\" That, collectively, \"we're going through a lot of unresolved, unfinished, un-closed traumatic experiences,\" and have no way of knowing what we — and the world — will look like on the other side.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>You're going to need to approach your problems in a new way\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Another thing that makes all of this seem so much bigger: the fact that the pandemic means we can't manage these stresses in the usual ways.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We normally cope with stress in three basic ways, says Tracy Foose: connection to other human beings, physical activity and what she calls \"meaningful, purposeful, intentional activity\" — the sort of \"solvable problems that we look for in our life.\" (Solvable problems, she explains, are the kind of challenges that you can be \u003cem>pretty\u003c/em> sure your skills can overcome if you have enough time: like work tasks, or baking, or gardening.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But right now, you might not be able to see all your loved ones like you usually would, because of the risk of new COVID-19 variants. And the kinds of problems you're faced with are huge, and just aren't solvable in the ways you'd normally recognize.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11899883\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11899883\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/Three-friends-with-painted-nails-sitting-on-a-couch-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Three friends with painted nails sitting on a couch\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/Three-friends-with-painted-nails-sitting-on-a-couch-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/Three-friends-with-painted-nails-sitting-on-a-couch-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/Three-friends-with-painted-nails-sitting-on-a-couch-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/Three-friends-with-painted-nails-sitting-on-a-couch.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Listen to how you speak to yourself. Are you showing the same understanding and compassion that you'd extend to a friend? \u003ccite>(Gender Spectrum Collection)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>So what do you do about that? First off, accept the truth that you \"really do need these three things for wellness,\" Foose advises, and then get into the idea of \"some pursuit of adaptation.\" How are you going to get physical activity? How will you find social connection? And how might you take a situation that \"feels so out of control and uncertain\" and break it up into a kind of solvable problem that you can, in Foose's words, \"chew on every day\"?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Breaking down the issues at hand into manageable parts and attacking them from new angles — while recognizing that you've never really had to \u003cem>do\u003c/em> it like this before, without your usual coping methods — is \"the inevitable path to wellness, even during all of this uncertainty,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Stop judging yourself and expecting perfection ...\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The East Bay Meditation Center's Spring Washam advises that self-compassion is \"an ingredient that you could really cultivate right now.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We're all \"kind of hanging on,\" she reminds us. So acknowledging that you'll have good days and bad days amid it all — \"that you're going to experience these highs and lows\" — is surprisingly crucial, so you're not blindsided when the bad days hit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation='Spring Washam, East Bay Meditation Center']'I think we need to just make space for that with each other and be really honest when we need support.'[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's because our emotions \"are really triggered or activated where we're experiencing things that we haven't before,\" Washam says — but knowing that the harder days are inevitable can soften the blow when they arrive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We may need a moment to fall apart a little bit or take a break or pull out,\" she says, and we shouldn't be shy about asking for help when it happens. \"I think we need to just make space for that with each other and be really honest when we need support,\" Washam says. \"Like, 'Hey, I can't do this right now! Can you come over? Can you help, or can I call you?'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>... and start talking more nicely to yourself\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>We often criticize ourselves in ways we'd never direct at anyone else. Emiliana Simon-Thomas recommends \"giving yourself that same supportive inner voice that you would give a neighbor or a friend who might tell you that they're also struggling with this challenge.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We're actually pretty good at supporting each \u003cem>other\u003c/em>, but oftentimes adopt a much more critical inner voice towards ourselves. And this really just worsens the problem,\" Simon-Thomas says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11899882\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11899882\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/pexels-mental-health-america-mha-5543538-1-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Smiling person in a white floral shirt smiles at themself in a mirror next to a bush filled with red flowers. \" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/pexels-mental-health-america-mha-5543538-1-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/pexels-mental-health-america-mha-5543538-1-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/pexels-mental-health-america-mha-5543538-1-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/pexels-mental-health-america-mha-5543538-1.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Listen to how you speak to yourself. Are you showing the same understanding and compassion that you'd extend to a friend \u003ccite>(Mental Health America)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>And the thing about this \"enduring, hyper-critical self-talk,\" she says, is how it can make the challenges you're experiencing feel exaggerated beyond proportion and, accordingly, can make your supposed failures feel huge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So the next time you catch yourself using a harsh tone inward, remember: by doing that, you're not seeing things for what they really are.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Don't pretend you're fine when you're not\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Many of us have a tendency to \"mask a lot of things,\" Spring Washam says. That is, to reflexively say we're doing fine and \"hide the levels of stress that we really experience.\" And that's not actually helpful right now, she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think really it's a time to be very real with yourself, with our families and come together,\" and to not attempt to shoulder your emotional burdens solo, Washam advises. \"It's too much for any one person,\" she says. \"We need to be more real about what's happening.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So if you're struggling, don't keep it to yourself: Speak up and call on your support networks. Putting a brave face on things won't help, and might actually be harmful to your well-being.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Try to find the positive (even when it seems impossible)\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>This one might sound like it contradicts the idea of feeling your feelings. But at the Greater Good Science Center, Emiliana Simon-Thomas says staff encourage folks there with practices and exercises that \"enable a different emotional profile.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation='Spring Washam, East Bay Meditation Center']'It's too much for any one person ... We need to be more real about what's happening.'[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"So instead of getting kind of lost in that downward spiral of negative self-talk, or complaining or worrying or feeling anxious about all the things that could go wrong,\" she advises, be intentional about the kinds of thoughts and reflexive judgments that you're making in each moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That means that if you have the possibility of engaging in a conversation with a friend about what's going well in life — rather than badly — you might find you're able to \"just shift the balance a little bit and bring yourself moments of levity,\" Simon-Thomas says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's not about putting a \"brave face\" on things or straining for a falsely positive spin. It's about finding some feeling of safety, she says, to \"balance the scales, so that you're not always in fight or flight mode.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Find more tips for managing stress and anxiety, including advice on mindfulness and resentment, in \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/2010101879345/how-to-cope-in-a-time-of-cumulative-stress-and-anxiety\">the full KQED Forum show\u003c/a>.\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"How can you manage anxiety and stress right now, at a time when so much is happening to us all? We spoke to the experts.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1640108331,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":43,"wordCount":1715},"headData":{"title":"Managing Anxiety in the Age of Everything | KQED","description":"How can you manage anxiety and stress right now, at a time when so much is happening to us all? We spoke to the experts.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"Managing Anxiety in the Age of Everything","datePublished":"2020-08-31T19:19:20.000Z","dateModified":"2021-12-21T17:38:51.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png","isAccessibleForFree":"Y","publisher":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","@id":"https://www.kqed.org/#organization","name":"KQED","url":"https://www.kqed.org","logo":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}}},"disqusIdentifier":"11835324 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11835324","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2020/08/31/managing-anxiety-in-the-age-of-everything/","disqusTitle":"Managing Anxiety in the Age of Everything","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","path":"/news/11835324/managing-anxiety-in-the-age-of-everything","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Editor's Note: A previous version of this story was published on August 31, 2020. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The ongoing COVID pandemic. A deepening climate catastrophe. An international refugee crisis. Widespread racial injustice. Extreme wealth inequality. Financial distress. Social isolation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's beyond doubt: We're up against a long list of stressful realities playing havoc with our individual mental health right now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"arts_13881725","label":"Local resources "},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As \u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/12/20/pandemic-mental-health-crisis-gao-report/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Washington Post reported in December\u003c/a>, more than four out of 10 adults — or 43% — said they suffered from anxiety or depression according to a Census Bureau pulse survey in November 2020. The pandemic's prolonged impact on youth mental health has also proved \"devastating\" according to \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/07/science/pandemic-adolescents-depression-anxiety.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">a public advisory from the U.S. surgeon general.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There's also the sheer number of ongoing stories detailing the graphic deaths and attacks on people of color — particularly on Black and Asian communities across the U.S. From 2019 to 2020, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11880068/as-hate-crime-reports-rise-attorney-general-bonta-offers-multilingual-support\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">crimes targeting the Asian community in California increased by 107 percent\u003c/a>. Such stories can reignite trauma and disproportionately weigh on people of color.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Individually and collectively, we're \u003cem>not\u003c/em> OK right now. \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/2010101879345/how-to-cope-in-a-time-of-cumulative-stress-and-anxiety\">KQED Forum spoke\u003c/a> to experts about how you might personally manage what seems like an unmanageable amount of stressors:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Tracy Foose\u003c/strong>, psychiatrist with a focus on anxiety disorders and associate clinical professor of psychiatry, UCSF School of Medicine\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Spring Washam\u003c/strong>, author of \"A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Courage, and Wisdom in Any Moment\", and meditation teacher and co-founder, East Bay Meditation Center in Oakland\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Emiliana Simon-Thomas\u003c/strong>, science director of the Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch3>If it feels especially difficult right now, there's a \u003cem>really\u003c/em> good reason\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The world seems overwhelming right now ... because it is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A pandemic, racial injustice, wildfires, family lives turned upside down: What these things have in common, says psychiatrist Tracy Foose, is \"a kind of cumulative uncertainty.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'We're going through a lot of unresolved, unfinished, un-closed traumatic experiences.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Psychiatrist Tracy Foose","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Each one of these individual stressors, things \"that we have no ability to predict and no ability to control at the individual level,\" she says, are momentous in their own right. But put them all together, and the challenge can feel insurmountable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All of this at once can also make you feel like you're getting \"compassion fatigue\": an inability to \u003cem>keep\u003c/em> caring, to \u003cem>keep\u003c/em> feeling loss and grief as more terrible things keep happening in the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This can lead to a person feeling a state of \"just feeling exhausted,\" says Emiliana Simon-Thomas of the Greater Good Science Center. \"Feeling disconnected and hopeless, or what some might call callous, about the possibility of anything ever changing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"tag":"mental-health","label":"more coverage "},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If this description is reminding you of your own feelings right now, you're not alone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it's not just the number of things that are happening right now, Foose says, but the fact that they're taking place on a global scale and just don't seem like they'll stop any time soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When we compare current events to previous traumatic historical periods, with the benefit of hindsight we can see both how those events started \u003cem>and \u003c/em>when they ended. But we can't foresee the end of our own traumatic experiences right now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's something she calls \"trauma limbo.\" That, collectively, \"we're going through a lot of unresolved, unfinished, un-closed traumatic experiences,\" and have no way of knowing what we — and the world — will look like on the other side.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>You're going to need to approach your problems in a new way\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Another thing that makes all of this seem so much bigger: the fact that the pandemic means we can't manage these stresses in the usual ways.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We normally cope with stress in three basic ways, says Tracy Foose: connection to other human beings, physical activity and what she calls \"meaningful, purposeful, intentional activity\" — the sort of \"solvable problems that we look for in our life.\" (Solvable problems, she explains, are the kind of challenges that you can be \u003cem>pretty\u003c/em> sure your skills can overcome if you have enough time: like work tasks, or baking, or gardening.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But right now, you might not be able to see all your loved ones like you usually would, because of the risk of new COVID-19 variants. And the kinds of problems you're faced with are huge, and just aren't solvable in the ways you'd normally recognize.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11899883\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11899883\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/Three-friends-with-painted-nails-sitting-on-a-couch-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Three friends with painted nails sitting on a couch\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/Three-friends-with-painted-nails-sitting-on-a-couch-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/Three-friends-with-painted-nails-sitting-on-a-couch-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/Three-friends-with-painted-nails-sitting-on-a-couch-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/Three-friends-with-painted-nails-sitting-on-a-couch.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Listen to how you speak to yourself. Are you showing the same understanding and compassion that you'd extend to a friend? \u003ccite>(Gender Spectrum Collection)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>So what do you do about that? First off, accept the truth that you \"really do need these three things for wellness,\" Foose advises, and then get into the idea of \"some pursuit of adaptation.\" How are you going to get physical activity? How will you find social connection? And how might you take a situation that \"feels so out of control and uncertain\" and break it up into a kind of solvable problem that you can, in Foose's words, \"chew on every day\"?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Breaking down the issues at hand into manageable parts and attacking them from new angles — while recognizing that you've never really had to \u003cem>do\u003c/em> it like this before, without your usual coping methods — is \"the inevitable path to wellness, even during all of this uncertainty,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Stop judging yourself and expecting perfection ...\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The East Bay Meditation Center's Spring Washam advises that self-compassion is \"an ingredient that you could really cultivate right now.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We're all \"kind of hanging on,\" she reminds us. So acknowledging that you'll have good days and bad days amid it all — \"that you're going to experience these highs and lows\" — is surprisingly crucial, so you're not blindsided when the bad days hit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'I think we need to just make space for that with each other and be really honest when we need support.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Spring Washam, East Bay Meditation Center","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's because our emotions \"are really triggered or activated where we're experiencing things that we haven't before,\" Washam says — but knowing that the harder days are inevitable can soften the blow when they arrive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We may need a moment to fall apart a little bit or take a break or pull out,\" she says, and we shouldn't be shy about asking for help when it happens. \"I think we need to just make space for that with each other and be really honest when we need support,\" Washam says. \"Like, 'Hey, I can't do this right now! Can you come over? Can you help, or can I call you?'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>... and start talking more nicely to yourself\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>We often criticize ourselves in ways we'd never direct at anyone else. Emiliana Simon-Thomas recommends \"giving yourself that same supportive inner voice that you would give a neighbor or a friend who might tell you that they're also struggling with this challenge.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We're actually pretty good at supporting each \u003cem>other\u003c/em>, but oftentimes adopt a much more critical inner voice towards ourselves. And this really just worsens the problem,\" Simon-Thomas says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11899882\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11899882\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/pexels-mental-health-america-mha-5543538-1-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Smiling person in a white floral shirt smiles at themself in a mirror next to a bush filled with red flowers. \" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/pexels-mental-health-america-mha-5543538-1-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/pexels-mental-health-america-mha-5543538-1-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/pexels-mental-health-america-mha-5543538-1-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/12/pexels-mental-health-america-mha-5543538-1.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Listen to how you speak to yourself. Are you showing the same understanding and compassion that you'd extend to a friend \u003ccite>(Mental Health America)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>And the thing about this \"enduring, hyper-critical self-talk,\" she says, is how it can make the challenges you're experiencing feel exaggerated beyond proportion and, accordingly, can make your supposed failures feel huge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So the next time you catch yourself using a harsh tone inward, remember: by doing that, you're not seeing things for what they really are.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Don't pretend you're fine when you're not\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Many of us have a tendency to \"mask a lot of things,\" Spring Washam says. That is, to reflexively say we're doing fine and \"hide the levels of stress that we really experience.\" And that's not actually helpful right now, she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think really it's a time to be very real with yourself, with our families and come together,\" and to not attempt to shoulder your emotional burdens solo, Washam advises. \"It's too much for any one person,\" she says. \"We need to be more real about what's happening.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So if you're struggling, don't keep it to yourself: Speak up and call on your support networks. Putting a brave face on things won't help, and might actually be harmful to your well-being.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Try to find the positive (even when it seems impossible)\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>This one might sound like it contradicts the idea of feeling your feelings. But at the Greater Good Science Center, Emiliana Simon-Thomas says staff encourage folks there with practices and exercises that \"enable a different emotional profile.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'It's too much for any one person ... We need to be more real about what's happening.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Spring Washam, East Bay Meditation Center","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"So instead of getting kind of lost in that downward spiral of negative self-talk, or complaining or worrying or feeling anxious about all the things that could go wrong,\" she advises, be intentional about the kinds of thoughts and reflexive judgments that you're making in each moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That means that if you have the possibility of engaging in a conversation with a friend about what's going well in life — rather than badly — you might find you're able to \"just shift the balance a little bit and bring yourself moments of levity,\" Simon-Thomas says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's not about putting a \"brave face\" on things or straining for a falsely positive spin. It's about finding some feeling of safety, she says, to \"balance the scales, so that you're not always in fight or flight mode.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Find more tips for managing stress and anxiety, including advice on mindfulness and resentment, in \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/2010101879345/how-to-cope-in-a-time-of-cumulative-stress-and-anxiety\">the full KQED Forum show\u003c/a>.\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11835324/managing-anxiety-in-the-age-of-everything","authors":["3243"],"categories":["news_457","news_8"],"tags":["news_25806","news_2109","news_24739"],"featImg":"news_11899886","label":"news"},"news_11811110":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11811110","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11811110","score":null,"sort":[1586299661000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"not-just-in-your-head-california-rolls-out-mental-health-guides-for-coping-with-coronavirus","title":"Not 'Just in Your Head': California Rolls Out Mental Health Guides for Coping With Coronavirus","publishDate":1586299661,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED News","labelTerm":{},"content":"\u003cp>Gov. Gavin Newsom opened his daily briefing Tuesday on the status of the coronavirus pandemic in California a bit differently than normal: With a mantra he says his mother used to repeat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"She said, 'Stand guard at the door of your mind,'\" Newsom said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Honestly, it took me a decade-plus to figure out what she was ultimately saying. But she was focused on, more than anything else, our capacity to be resilient and to meet challenges head-on, our capacity as human beings to refocus our energies, a sense of purpose, and a sense of optimism and faith that will get through times of challenges — times like today.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size=\"medium\" align=\"right\" citation=\"California Surgeon General Nadine Burke Harris\"]'The health impacts of coronavirus go beyond infection and COVID disease.'[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Newsom said he knows that Californians can’t do it alone. So he asked California's Surgeon General, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, to create a \u003ca href=\"https://covid19.ca.gov/manage-stress-for-health/#top\">series of guides to help people manage stress\u003c/a> during this time of crisis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Burke Harris said millions of Californians who aren't sick with COVID-19 are still managing a ton of stress — and that stress can manifest in real, physical pain.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The health impacts of coronavirus go beyond infection and COVID disease,\" she said. \"It’s important to know that these changes aren't just in your head, and to begin to identify how stress shows up for you — physically, emotionally and behaviorally.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Burke Harris, whose expertise is in childhood trauma and its long-term health impacts, said the way people manifest this stress is different for everyone. Some people drink too much. Some can't sleep. Some get headaches or other physical symptoms. And some may get violent, or be the victim of violence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The state's website includes \u003ca href=\"https://covid19.ca.gov/resources-for-emotional-support-and-well-being/#top\">a series of hotlines people can call\u003c/a> — including for people who are struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, are victims of violence, or if they are worried about the safety of a child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Additionally, Burke Harris said, there are things people can do at home to help manage this difficult period.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"While we keep our physical distance, our social supports to maintain emotional and spiritual connection are more important than ever for our physical and mental health,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postID=news_11808968,news_11807639 label='More Resources']Burke Harris urged Californians to exercise, eat right, get enough sleep and try to still connect — albeit virtually — to their social support networks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Safe, stable and nurturing relationships help to protect our brains and bodies from the harmful effects of stress and adversity,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She announced two \"\u003ca href=\"https://covid19.ca.gov/manage-stress-for-health/#top\">playbooks\u003c/a>\" that rely on evidence-based guidance for how to relieve stress. One is for everyone; the second is for parents and caregivers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://covid19.ca.gov/img/wp/california-surgeon-general_stress-busting-playbook_draft-v2clean_ada-04072020.pdf\">Stress Relief During COVID-19\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://covid19.ca.gov/pdf/caregivers_and_kids_california_surgeon_general_stress_busting_playbook_draft_v2_clean_ada_04072020v2.pdf\">Stress Relief for Caregivers and Kids During COVID-19\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Newsom urged Californians to stay optimistic — and to help themselves by helping others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Reach out to people. If there was ever a time when you wanted to call Aunt Margie — you hadn't called her in two years, this is the time,\" he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I had a beautiful letter ... it was sitting there at the gate of my home, right outside, and a note attached from a neighbor down the block, who just wanted to put in a good word,\" Newsom added.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Just dropping a note by — it made my day, look at me, it made my week. You can do the same, reach out to neighbors, reach out to loved ones, reach out to strangers.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/education/collection/above-the-noise\">Above the Noise\u003c/a>, KQED Education's video series, talks to a UCSF psychologist about coping tips for teenagers:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cT77fQ57IP4&feature=youtu.be\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Gov. Gavin Newsom asked California's surgeon general to create a series of guides to help people manage stress during the coronavirus pandemic.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1586381426,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":21,"wordCount":631},"headData":{"title":"Not 'Just in Your Head': California Rolls Out Mental Health Guides for Coping With Coronavirus | KQED","description":"Gov. Gavin Newsom asked California's surgeon general to create a series of guides to help people manage stress during the coronavirus pandemic.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"Not 'Just in Your Head': California Rolls Out Mental Health Guides for Coping With Coronavirus","datePublished":"2020-04-07T22:47:41.000Z","dateModified":"2020-04-08T21:30:26.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png","isAccessibleForFree":"Y","publisher":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","@id":"https://www.kqed.org/#organization","name":"KQED","url":"https://www.kqed.org","logo":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}}},"disqusIdentifier":"11811110 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11811110","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2020/04/07/not-just-in-your-head-california-rolls-out-mental-health-guides-for-coping-with-coronavirus/","disqusTitle":"Not 'Just in Your Head': California Rolls Out Mental Health Guides for Coping With Coronavirus","source":"Coronavirus","sourceUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/coronavirus","path":"/news/11811110/not-just-in-your-head-california-rolls-out-mental-health-guides-for-coping-with-coronavirus","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Gov. Gavin Newsom opened his daily briefing Tuesday on the status of the coronavirus pandemic in California a bit differently than normal: With a mantra he says his mother used to repeat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"She said, 'Stand guard at the door of your mind,'\" Newsom said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Honestly, it took me a decade-plus to figure out what she was ultimately saying. But she was focused on, more than anything else, our capacity to be resilient and to meet challenges head-on, our capacity as human beings to refocus our energies, a sense of purpose, and a sense of optimism and faith that will get through times of challenges — times like today.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'The health impacts of coronavirus go beyond infection and COVID disease.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"California Surgeon General Nadine Burke Harris","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Newsom said he knows that Californians can’t do it alone. So he asked California's Surgeon General, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, to create a \u003ca href=\"https://covid19.ca.gov/manage-stress-for-health/#top\">series of guides to help people manage stress\u003c/a> during this time of crisis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Burke Harris said millions of Californians who aren't sick with COVID-19 are still managing a ton of stress — and that stress can manifest in real, physical pain.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The health impacts of coronavirus go beyond infection and COVID disease,\" she said. \"It’s important to know that these changes aren't just in your head, and to begin to identify how stress shows up for you — physically, emotionally and behaviorally.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Burke Harris, whose expertise is in childhood trauma and its long-term health impacts, said the way people manifest this stress is different for everyone. Some people drink too much. Some can't sleep. Some get headaches or other physical symptoms. And some may get violent, or be the victim of violence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The state's website includes \u003ca href=\"https://covid19.ca.gov/resources-for-emotional-support-and-well-being/#top\">a series of hotlines people can call\u003c/a> — including for people who are struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, are victims of violence, or if they are worried about the safety of a child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Additionally, Burke Harris said, there are things people can do at home to help manage this difficult period.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"While we keep our physical distance, our social supports to maintain emotional and spiritual connection are more important than ever for our physical and mental health,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"news_11808968,news_11807639","label":"More Resources "},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>Burke Harris urged Californians to exercise, eat right, get enough sleep and try to still connect — albeit virtually — to their social support networks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Safe, stable and nurturing relationships help to protect our brains and bodies from the harmful effects of stress and adversity,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She announced two \"\u003ca href=\"https://covid19.ca.gov/manage-stress-for-health/#top\">playbooks\u003c/a>\" that rely on evidence-based guidance for how to relieve stress. One is for everyone; the second is for parents and caregivers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://covid19.ca.gov/img/wp/california-surgeon-general_stress-busting-playbook_draft-v2clean_ada-04072020.pdf\">Stress Relief During COVID-19\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://covid19.ca.gov/pdf/caregivers_and_kids_california_surgeon_general_stress_busting_playbook_draft_v2_clean_ada_04072020v2.pdf\">Stress Relief for Caregivers and Kids During COVID-19\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Newsom urged Californians to stay optimistic — and to help themselves by helping others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Reach out to people. If there was ever a time when you wanted to call Aunt Margie — you hadn't called her in two years, this is the time,\" he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I had a beautiful letter ... it was sitting there at the gate of my home, right outside, and a note attached from a neighbor down the block, who just wanted to put in a good word,\" Newsom added.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Just dropping a note by — it made my day, look at me, it made my week. You can do the same, reach out to neighbors, reach out to loved ones, reach out to strangers.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/education/collection/above-the-noise\">Above the Noise\u003c/a>, KQED Education's video series, talks to a UCSF psychologist about coping tips for teenagers:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/cT77fQ57IP4'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/cT77fQ57IP4'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11811110/not-just-in-your-head-california-rolls-out-mental-health-guides-for-coping-with-coronavirus","authors":["3239"],"categories":["news_457","news_8","news_13"],"tags":["news_18538","news_27350","news_27504","news_16","news_2109","news_5705","news_17968","news_24739"],"featImg":"news_11811146","label":"source_news_11811110"},"news_11714761":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11714761","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11714761","score":null,"sort":[1546005640000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"mental-health-experts-worry-digital-open-grade-books-are-stressing-kids-out","title":"Mental Health Experts Worry Digital 'Open Grade Books' Are Stressing Kids Out","publishDate":1546005640,"format":"image","headTitle":"The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":72,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>Soon, students will be receiving their latest report cards, even though many already know their grades. Thousands of schools nationwide have adopted what's called “open grade books,\" online portals that allow both parents and kids to get up-to-the-minute progress reports.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The purpose of open grade books is to allow students and parents to keep up with assignments, message teachers and see the latest grade tabulation. The idea is to get ahead of potential struggles before the final report cards.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Recently, I've noticed this whole system stresses out my 11-year-old daughter, Audrey, who says she often thinks about how I will react to the daily email I receive listing her grades.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It seems that if my grades do decrease, I’m worried on what my parents are going to say,\" Audrey said during one late-night conversation. Hearing her say this breaks my heart. I wonder: Do other parents and kids feel this way? I put a call out to my network and found Carrie Du Bois.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I thought it was a mistake,\" says Du Bois, in reference to the open grade books. \"I thought our system was malfunctioning!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>About three years ago, Du Bois called the school superintendent of the Sequoia Union High School District in San Mateo County to find out why she was receiving a daily email of her son’s grades. The superintendent at the time told her the portal was working as it should.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I went crazy,\" said Du Bois. \"I couldn’t believe that was our intent.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Du Bois called every mental health professional she knew and they all told her the same thing: The supply of constant data on academic progress can overemphasize the importance of grades. Her district has since changed systems and no longer sends out daily grade updates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, hundreds of other schools in the Bay Area still do. Steven Adelsheim, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, said it takes away student's freedom to make mistakes, to work through and solve problems.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We talk about innovation in this area a lot. But you know the notion of innovation also includes being able to feel comfortable trying things and risking and failing,\" said Adelsheim. \"When our focus is always on being successful and getting the A, we're not allowing necessarily the room for creativity in the room to attempt things.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Adelsheim said that while there are no scientific studies out there about the mental health impacts, he has had troubling conversations with students about daily grades.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There’s already a great deal of pressure that they’re feeling on their own and from their friends, and this potentially adds to it. It creates both stress and anxiety,\" Adelsheim said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A spokeswoman for the Santa Clara Unified School District, the one my family is part of, said the feedback they’ve received from parents is overwhelmingly positive. The district uses the portal School Loop, which is also used by more than 3,500 schools in 30 states. Other parents have also told me the portals give them insights into their kids' lives and open up conversations beyond “how was your day.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But other critics say the portals have become a thorn in the sides of educators. Former high school English teacher Amanda Parrish Morgan wrote an op-ed piece in\u003cem> \u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2018/09/25/how-instant-access-to-grades-and-other-data-is-contributing-to-helicopter-parenting/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.6ffadbd0e58f\">The Washington Post\u003c/a>\u003c/em> about how disturbed she was, watching students in the hallways between classes frantically checking their phones to see their latest grades.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We could stand in front of a classroom and do a mental health initiative where we're trying to talk about ... being a whole person is more important than your accomplishments,\" said Parrish Morgan. \"But I feel like it really sends the message to kids that this number is what matters.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Most of the portals offer parents the option of turning off daily notifications.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mental health care professionals advise that a healthier and more accurate measure of progress is checking grades once a week or even once a month.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s what I have decided to do, so that Audrey and I can spend our time talking about the important things, her experiences in life, what she’s learning, and the stuff that makes being 11 cool.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Thousands of schools throughout the country have adopted online portals that allow both parents and kids to get up-to-the-minute progress reports.\r\n","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1545961093,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":20,"wordCount":724},"headData":{"title":"Mental Health Experts Worry Digital 'Open Grade Books' Are Stressing Kids Out | KQED","description":"Thousands of schools throughout the country have adopted online portals that allow both parents and kids to get up-to-the-minute progress reports.\r\n","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"Mental Health Experts Worry Digital 'Open Grade Books' Are Stressing Kids Out","datePublished":"2018-12-28T14:00:40.000Z","dateModified":"2018-12-28T01:38:13.000Z","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png","isAccessibleForFree":"Y","publisher":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","@id":"https://www.kqed.org/#organization","name":"KQED","url":"https://www.kqed.org","logo":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}}},"disqusIdentifier":"11714761 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11714761","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2018/12/28/mental-health-experts-worry-digital-open-grade-books-are-stressing-kids-out/","disqusTitle":"Mental Health Experts Worry Digital 'Open Grade Books' Are Stressing Kids Out","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/RDnews/2018/12/MosleyStudentGradePortals.mp3","audioTrackLength":292,"path":"/news/11714761/mental-health-experts-worry-digital-open-grade-books-are-stressing-kids-out","audioDuration":279000,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Soon, students will be receiving their latest report cards, even though many already know their grades. Thousands of schools nationwide have adopted what's called “open grade books,\" online portals that allow both parents and kids to get up-to-the-minute progress reports.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The purpose of open grade books is to allow students and parents to keep up with assignments, message teachers and see the latest grade tabulation. The idea is to get ahead of potential struggles before the final report cards.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Recently, I've noticed this whole system stresses out my 11-year-old daughter, Audrey, who says she often thinks about how I will react to the daily email I receive listing her grades.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It seems that if my grades do decrease, I’m worried on what my parents are going to say,\" Audrey said during one late-night conversation. Hearing her say this breaks my heart. I wonder: Do other parents and kids feel this way? I put a call out to my network and found Carrie Du Bois.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I thought it was a mistake,\" says Du Bois, in reference to the open grade books. \"I thought our system was malfunctioning!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>About three years ago, Du Bois called the school superintendent of the Sequoia Union High School District in San Mateo County to find out why she was receiving a daily email of her son’s grades. The superintendent at the time told her the portal was working as it should.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I went crazy,\" said Du Bois. \"I couldn’t believe that was our intent.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Du Bois called every mental health professional she knew and they all told her the same thing: The supply of constant data on academic progress can overemphasize the importance of grades. Her district has since changed systems and no longer sends out daily grade updates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, hundreds of other schools in the Bay Area still do. Steven Adelsheim, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, said it takes away student's freedom to make mistakes, to work through and solve problems.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We talk about innovation in this area a lot. But you know the notion of innovation also includes being able to feel comfortable trying things and risking and failing,\" said Adelsheim. \"When our focus is always on being successful and getting the A, we're not allowing necessarily the room for creativity in the room to attempt things.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Adelsheim said that while there are no scientific studies out there about the mental health impacts, he has had troubling conversations with students about daily grades.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There’s already a great deal of pressure that they’re feeling on their own and from their friends, and this potentially adds to it. It creates both stress and anxiety,\" Adelsheim said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A spokeswoman for the Santa Clara Unified School District, the one my family is part of, said the feedback they’ve received from parents is overwhelmingly positive. The district uses the portal School Loop, which is also used by more than 3,500 schools in 30 states. Other parents have also told me the portals give them insights into their kids' lives and open up conversations beyond “how was your day.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But other critics say the portals have become a thorn in the sides of educators. Former high school English teacher Amanda Parrish Morgan wrote an op-ed piece in\u003cem> \u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2018/09/25/how-instant-access-to-grades-and-other-data-is-contributing-to-helicopter-parenting/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.6ffadbd0e58f\">The Washington Post\u003c/a>\u003c/em> about how disturbed she was, watching students in the hallways between classes frantically checking their phones to see their latest grades.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We could stand in front of a classroom and do a mental health initiative where we're trying to talk about ... being a whole person is more important than your accomplishments,\" said Parrish Morgan. \"But I feel like it really sends the message to kids that this number is what matters.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Most of the portals offer parents the option of turning off daily notifications.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mental health care professionals advise that a healthier and more accurate measure of progress is checking grades once a week or even once a month.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s what I have decided to do, so that Audrey and I can spend our time talking about the important things, her experiences in life, what she’s learning, and the stuff that makes being 11 cool.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11714761/mental-health-experts-worry-digital-open-grade-books-are-stressing-kids-out","authors":["11373"],"programs":["news_72"],"categories":["news_18540","news_8","news_248"],"tags":["news_24739","news_3457","news_23369","news_23395"],"featImg":"news_11714878","label":"news_72"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. 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Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.","airtime":"SUN 2pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Possible-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.possible.fm/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Possible"},"link":"/radio/program/possible","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/possible/id1677184070","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/730YpdUSNlMyPQwNnyjp4k"}},"1a":{"id":"1a","title":"1A","info":"1A is home to the national conversation. 1A brings on great guests and frames the best debate in ways that make you think, share and engage.","airtime":"MON-THU 11pm-12am","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/1a.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://the1a.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/1a","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=1188724250&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/1A-p947376/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510316/podcast.xml"}},"all-things-considered":{"id":"all-things-considered","title":"All Things Considered","info":"Every weekday, \u003cem>All Things Considered\u003c/em> hosts Robert Siegel, Audie Cornish, Ari Shapiro, and Kelly McEvers present the program's trademark mix of news, interviews, commentaries, reviews, and offbeat features. 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But is this once sleepy suburb ready for them?","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/American-Suburb-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"13"},"link":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?mt=2&id=1287748328","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/American-Suburb-p1086805/","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkMzMDExODgxNjA5"}},"baycurious":{"id":"baycurious","title":"Bay Curious","tagline":"Exploring the Bay Area, one question at a time","info":"KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Bay-Curious-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"\"KQED Bay Curious","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/baycurious","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"4"},"link":"/podcasts/baycurious","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bay-curious/id1172473406","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/500557090/bay-curious","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/category/bay-curious-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93dzIua3FlZC5vcmcvbmV3cy9jYXRlZ29yeS9iYXktY3VyaW91cy1wb2RjYXN0L2ZlZWQvcG9kY2FzdA","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/bay-curious","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/6O76IdmhixfijmhTZLIJ8k"}},"bbc-world-service":{"id":"bbc-world-service","title":"BBC World Service","info":"The day's top stories from BBC News compiled twice daily in the week, once at weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9pm-10pm, TUE-FRI 1am-2am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/BBC-World-Service-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/live:bbc_world_service","meta":{"site":"news","source":"BBC World Service"},"link":"/radio/program/bbc-world-service","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/global-news-podcast/id135067274?mt=2","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/BBC-World-Service-p455581/","rss":"https://podcasts.files.bbci.co.uk/p02nq0gn.rss"}},"code-switch-life-kit":{"id":"code-switch-life-kit","title":"Code Switch / Life Kit","info":"\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />","airtime":"SUN 9pm-10pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Code-Switch-Life-Kit-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/code-switch-life-kit","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/1112190608?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy9yc3MvcG9kY2FzdC5waHA_aWQ9NTEwMzEy","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3bExJ9JQpkwNhoHvaIIuyV","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510312/podcast.xml"}},"commonwealth-club":{"id":"commonwealth-club","title":"Commonwealth Club of California Podcast","info":"The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. 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