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He joined the KQED News team in April of 2016. Prior to that, he worked as a Reporter for KPCC in Los Angeles and a producer at \u003cem>Marketplace.\u003c/em>\r\n\r\nDuring eight years at KPCC, Brian covered business and economics, and his work won several awards. In 2008, he won the Los Angeles Press Club’s first-place award for Business and Financial Reporting, Broadcast. He’s also received honorable mention and been first runner up for the Press Club’s Radio Journalist of the Year. He won two Golden Mike awards from the Radio and TV News Association of Southern California.\r\n\r\nBrian holds degrees in theater from Yale University and the Sorbonne, and has worked as an actor in France, Italy, Brazil, Hungary and . . . Hollywood. He appeared in a few television shows, including \u003cem>The West Wing, Judging Amy\u003c/em> and \u003cem>The District.\u003c/em>\r\n\r\nEmail: bwatt@KQED.org Twitter: @RadioBWatt","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/55393ff57ed34e2be773ba4789dd6a19?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"@RadioBWatt","facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"arts","roles":["contributor"]},{"site":"news","roles":["editor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Brian Watt | KQED","description":"Morning News Anchor","ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/55393ff57ed34e2be773ba4789dd6a19?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/55393ff57ed34e2be773ba4789dd6a19?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/bwatt"},"parcuni":{"type":"authors","id":"11368","meta":{"index":"authors_1591205172","id":"11368","found":true},"name":"Peter Arcuni","firstName":"Peter","lastName":"Arcuni","slug":"parcuni","email":"parcuni@KQED.org","display_author_email":false,"staff_mastheads":["science"],"title":"Reporter","bio":"Peter reports radio and online stories for \u003cem>KQED Science\u003c/em>. His work has also appeared on the \u003cem>The California Report\u003c/em> morning show and \u003cem>KQED News\u003c/em>. His production credits include \u003cem>The California Report, The California Report Magazine\u003c/em> and KQED's local news podcast \u003cem>The Bay\u003c/em>. Other credits include NPR's \u003cem>All Things Considered\u003c/em>, WNYC's \u003cem>Science Friday\u003c/em>, WBUR's \u003cem>Here & Now\u003c/em>, WIRED and SFGate. Peter graduated from Brown University and earned a master's degree in journalism from Stanford. He's covered everything from homelessness to wildfires, health, the environment, arts and Thanksgiving in San Quentin prison. In other lives, he played rock n roll music and studied neuroscience. You can email him at: parcuni@kqed.org","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/d5032f6f27199d478af34ad2e1d98732?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"peterarcuni","facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"news","roles":["editor"]},{"site":"science","roles":["editor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Peter Arcuni | KQED","description":"Reporter","ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/d5032f6f27199d478af34ad2e1d98732?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/d5032f6f27199d478af34ad2e1d98732?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/parcuni"},"agonzalez":{"type":"authors","id":"11724","meta":{"index":"authors_1591205172","id":"11724","found":true},"name":"Alexander Gonzalez","firstName":"Alexander","lastName":"Gonzalez","slug":"agonzalez","email":"AlexanderGonzalez@KQED.org","display_author_email":false,"staff_mastheads":[],"title":"KQED Contributor","bio":null,"avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/63d43593dd7ebcafcd638e851a9bce5a?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":null,"facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"arts","roles":["editor"]},{"site":"news","roles":["editor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Alexander Gonzalez | KQED","description":"KQED Contributor","ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/63d43593dd7ebcafcd638e851a9bce5a?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/63d43593dd7ebcafcd638e851a9bce5a?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/agonzalez"}},"breakingNewsReducer":{},"campaignFinanceReducer":{},"firebase":{"requesting":{},"requested":{},"timestamps":{},"data":{},"ordered":{},"auth":{"isLoaded":false,"isEmpty":true},"authError":null,"profile":{"isLoaded":false,"isEmpty":true},"listeners":{"byId":{},"allIds":[]},"isInitializing":false,"errors":[]},"navBarReducer":{"navBarId":"news","fullView":true,"showPlayer":false},"navMenuReducer":{"menus":[{"key":"menu1","items":[{"name":"News","link":"/","type":"title"},{"name":"Politics","link":"/politics"},{"name":"Science","link":"/science"},{"name":"Education","link":"/educationnews"},{"name":"Housing","link":"/housing"},{"name":"Immigration","link":"/immigration"},{"name":"Criminal Justice","link":"/criminaljustice"},{"name":"Silicon Valley","link":"/siliconvalley"},{"name":"Forum","link":"/forum"},{"name":"The California Report","link":"/californiareport"}]},{"key":"menu2","items":[{"name":"Arts & Culture","link":"/arts","type":"title"},{"name":"Critics’ Picks","link":"/thedolist"},{"name":"Cultural Commentary","link":"/artscommentary"},{"name":"Food & Drink","link":"/food"},{"name":"Bay Area Hip-Hop","link":"/bayareahiphop"},{"name":"Rebel Girls","link":"/rebelgirls"},{"name":"Arts Video","link":"/artsvideos"}]},{"key":"menu3","items":[{"name":"Podcasts","link":"/podcasts","type":"title"},{"name":"Bay Curious","link":"/podcasts/baycurious"},{"name":"Rightnowish","link":"/podcasts/rightnowish"},{"name":"The Bay","link":"/podcasts/thebay"},{"name":"On Our Watch","link":"/podcasts/onourwatch"},{"name":"Mindshift","link":"/podcasts/mindshift"},{"name":"Consider This","link":"/podcasts/considerthis"},{"name":"Political Breakdown","link":"/podcasts/politicalbreakdown"}]},{"key":"menu4","items":[{"name":"Live Radio","link":"/radio","type":"title"},{"name":"TV","link":"/tv","type":"title"},{"name":"Events","link":"/events","type":"title"},{"name":"For Educators","link":"/education","type":"title"},{"name":"Support KQED","link":"/support","type":"title"},{"name":"About","link":"/about","type":"title"},{"name":"Help Center","link":"https://kqed-helpcenter.kqed.org/s","type":"title"}]}]},"pagesReducer":{},"postsReducer":{"stream_live":{"type":"live","id":"stream_live","audioUrl":"https://streams.kqed.org/kqedradio","title":"Live Stream","excerpt":"Live Stream information currently unavailable.","link":"/radio","featImg":"","label":{"name":"KQED Live","link":"/"}},"stream_kqedNewscast":{"type":"posts","id":"stream_kqedNewscast","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/RDnews/newscast.mp3?_=1","title":"KQED Newscast","featImg":"","label":{"name":"88.5 FM","link":"/"}},"news_11947041":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11947041","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11947041","score":null,"sort":[1681995605000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"one-psychologists-tips-for-raising-strong-multiracial-kids","title":"One Psychologist’s Tips for Raising Strong Multiracial Kids","publishDate":1681995605,"format":"standard","headTitle":"One Psychologist’s Tips for Raising Strong Multiracial Kids | KQED","labelTerm":{"term":26731,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>More people are identifying as mixed race than ever before in the U.S. — the 2020 census showed a 256% jump in people identifying as multiracial over the previous 10 years. Mixed-race kids are a growing part of that demographic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Psychologist Jenn Noble has been helping mixed-race kids and their parents navigate issues of identity and belonging for over 15 years. Through the online community she’s created with the \u003ca href=\"https://www.drjennpsych.com/\">Mixed Life Academy\u003c/a>, she works to set kids up for success in a world that is often uncomfortable with liminality, and that prefers to put people in neat little boxes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>KQED’s Sasha Khokha and Marisa Lagos spoke with Noble about her tips for parents as part of the California Report Magazine series \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/tag/mixed-race\">Mixed: Stories from Mixed-Race Californians\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>1. Don’t be afraid to talk about race with your child\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>A lot of parents are hesitant to address race directly with their young children out of a desire to protect them from the ugliness of the world. Instead, they may use phrases like, “There’s only one race — the human race.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“That is going to be more harmful, because the kid is like, No, I know something is different here. I see you, and I see my dad and I see the mirror and my friends are saying, ‘Why do I look like this?’” Noble said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As hard as it might be to talk about race, ignoring the conversation means kids will encounter questions about their racial identity for the first time not in the safety of their own family, but at school or on the playground, and often in ways that are scary or unpleasant.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>2. Read books and watch films about mixed-race characters\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>“There are a lot of great books that introduce the idea of the mixed-race experience to a child,” Noble said. “You can do it as young as 3 and 4 years old. And sometimes, that allows the parents to find more words because if the parent is sitting there and reading the book, [they’ll realize], ‘Oh, is this what my kid is feeling or could be experiencing at some point? Or will their peers say this to them?’ I think that’s a great place to start.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Noble also recommends families watching films and shows together that feature racially mixed families, like \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Encanto\">Encanto\u003c/a>\u003c/em> or the Netflix series \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masaba_Masaba\">Masaba Masaba\u003c/a>\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Noble said the best place for kids to learn to talk about race and identity is at home, with their parents. Then, when the child goes out into the world and someone asks, “What are you?,” that child will be less likely to be hurt or surprised. Rather, they’ll be ready with answers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“You protect them more by doing it this way,” Noble said. “Rather than, ‘Oh, let me go talk to that teacher. Let me go talk to that kid so they never say that to you again,’ the kid’s like, ‘No, just help me understand why they even said that, and then I’ll take it from here.’”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>3. Expose your kids to their cultural backgrounds\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Noble said she hears a lot of mixed-race kids saying that different parts of their identity are validated in different spaces, leaving them feeling fractured, like their entire self is never fully acknowledged. She says helping them to connect to the language, food and cultural practices of all their various heritages can help mitigate that feeling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11947047\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 720px\">\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11947047\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2023/04/Parents-option-2-for-graphic.jpg\" alt=\"A family with an older mother and father stand on a boat with their grown-up daughter as they pose barefoot making silly faces. The boat looks as though it's inside a cave-like environment on the water.\" width=\"720\" height=\"960\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2023/04/Parents-option-2-for-graphic.jpg 720w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2023/04/Parents-option-2-for-graphic-160x213.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">From left to right, Noble’s dad, Noble and Noble’s mom pose for a silly photo together. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Jenn Noble)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>“Worlds are not split. I’m me everywhere I go. So, if I’m with one family and they’re saying, ‘You’re this,’ and I’m with another family and they’re saying, ‘You’re that,’ I’m still the same person in both environments. They may be acknowledging just one portion, but I’m always one person. And then stepping into that,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>4. Be bold\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Noble says it’s easy for mixed-race kids to feel they don’t belong anywhere, when actually they are members of more communities than many other people. The trick is to boldly step into those spaces and own the right to be there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size=\"medium\" align=\"right\" citation=\"Jenn Noble, psychologist\"]‘Worlds are not split. I’m me everywhere I go. So, if I’m with one family and they’re saying, ‘You’re this,’ and I’m with another family and they’re saying, ‘You’re that,’ I’m still the same person in both environments.’[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When your phenotype really doesn’t match one of the groups you belong to, you develop that skill of being like, ‘Well, I’m going to enter this space anyway and y’all are going to be all right and we’ll figure it out together,’” she said. “You should be there, and you should participate and you should feel comfortable to do so.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>5. Don’t use fractions\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Parents have many opportunities to name their child’s multiple heritages and model the normalcy of that. If a nosy neighbor asks, “What’s your kid’s background?,” answer by naming all their racial identities, but not breaking them into fractions. “Ands” and commas will be your friends. For example, say, “My kid is Black and Filipino and Chinese,” not, “She’s a quarter Black, a quarter Chinese and half Filipino.”[aside label='More from the 'Mixed Series' tag='mixed']“The more you model that, your kid is going to hear you,” Noble said. “Because your little child could be standing there when you assert their identity to someone else and they’re going to be like, ‘Oh, yeah, that’s right. I am all those things.’ [Modeling that] full embracing of identity is going to be helpful for that child.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>6. Remind your kids they are enough\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>There’s not a magic checklist of things that makes someone, for example, “Mexican enough,” “Black enough” or “Indian enough.” Chasing after one is exhausting and probably won’t work. Try to cultivate the mindset that you belong and don’t have to prove it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For more resources, check out \u003ca href=\"https://www.drjennpsych.com/\">Noble’s website\u003c/a> and take her “\u003ca href=\"https://www.drjennpsych.com/take-the-quiz\">How ‘Woke’ is Your Mixed Race Parenting? quiz\u003c/a>.” And the \u003ca href=\"https://www.drjennpsych.com/\">Mixed Life Academy\u003c/a> is one model of a parent support group for working through some of the tricky issues that come up in this space.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For tips and suggestions for mixed-race teens, check out our companion post featuring Rahul Yates, a high school senior from Los Angeles who hosts the \u003ca href=\"https://www.iheart.com/podcast/53-mixed-by-gen-z-103270911/\">Mixed by Gen Z podcast\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca id=\"anchor\">\u003c/a>\u003cbr>\n[hearken id=\"7528\" src=\"https://modules.wearehearken.com/kqed/embed/7528.js\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"A family psychologist offers tips for parents encountering tricky questions as they navigate a world that isn’t always welcoming to mixed-race kids.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1695673842,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":true,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":22,"wordCount":1235},"headData":{"title":"One Psychologist’s Tips for Raising Strong Multiracial Kids | KQED","description":"A family psychologist offers tips for parents encountering tricky questions as they navigate a world that isn’t always welcoming to mixed-race kids.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"audioUrl":"https://dcs.megaphone.fm/KQINC7278424455.mp3?key=ad6fd03899755f6599626c40609c0659&request_event_id=d25fd17c-4a25-4c9f-bfd1-b5e500f485b7","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","articleAge":"0","path":"/news/11947041/one-psychologists-tips-for-raising-strong-multiracial-kids","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>More people are identifying as mixed race than ever before in the U.S. — the 2020 census showed a 256% jump in people identifying as multiracial over the previous 10 years. Mixed-race kids are a growing part of that demographic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Psychologist Jenn Noble has been helping mixed-race kids and their parents navigate issues of identity and belonging for over 15 years. Through the online community she’s created with the \u003ca href=\"https://www.drjennpsych.com/\">Mixed Life Academy\u003c/a>, she works to set kids up for success in a world that is often uncomfortable with liminality, and that prefers to put people in neat little boxes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>KQED’s Sasha Khokha and Marisa Lagos spoke with Noble about her tips for parents as part of the California Report Magazine series \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/tag/mixed-race\">Mixed: Stories from Mixed-Race Californians\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>1. Don’t be afraid to talk about race with your child\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>A lot of parents are hesitant to address race directly with their young children out of a desire to protect them from the ugliness of the world. Instead, they may use phrases like, “There’s only one race — the human race.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“That is going to be more harmful, because the kid is like, No, I know something is different here. I see you, and I see my dad and I see the mirror and my friends are saying, ‘Why do I look like this?’” Noble said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As hard as it might be to talk about race, ignoring the conversation means kids will encounter questions about their racial identity for the first time not in the safety of their own family, but at school or on the playground, and often in ways that are scary or unpleasant.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>2. Read books and watch films about mixed-race characters\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>“There are a lot of great books that introduce the idea of the mixed-race experience to a child,” Noble said. “You can do it as young as 3 and 4 years old. And sometimes, that allows the parents to find more words because if the parent is sitting there and reading the book, [they’ll realize], ‘Oh, is this what my kid is feeling or could be experiencing at some point? Or will their peers say this to them?’ I think that’s a great place to start.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Noble also recommends families watching films and shows together that feature racially mixed families, like \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Encanto\">Encanto\u003c/a>\u003c/em> or the Netflix series \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masaba_Masaba\">Masaba Masaba\u003c/a>\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Noble said the best place for kids to learn to talk about race and identity is at home, with their parents. Then, when the child goes out into the world and someone asks, “What are you?,” that child will be less likely to be hurt or surprised. Rather, they’ll be ready with answers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“You protect them more by doing it this way,” Noble said. “Rather than, ‘Oh, let me go talk to that teacher. Let me go talk to that kid so they never say that to you again,’ the kid’s like, ‘No, just help me understand why they even said that, and then I’ll take it from here.’”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>3. Expose your kids to their cultural backgrounds\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Noble said she hears a lot of mixed-race kids saying that different parts of their identity are validated in different spaces, leaving them feeling fractured, like their entire self is never fully acknowledged. She says helping them to connect to the language, food and cultural practices of all their various heritages can help mitigate that feeling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11947047\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 720px\">\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11947047\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2023/04/Parents-option-2-for-graphic.jpg\" alt=\"A family with an older mother and father stand on a boat with their grown-up daughter as they pose barefoot making silly faces. The boat looks as though it's inside a cave-like environment on the water.\" width=\"720\" height=\"960\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2023/04/Parents-option-2-for-graphic.jpg 720w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2023/04/Parents-option-2-for-graphic-160x213.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">From left to right, Noble’s dad, Noble and Noble’s mom pose for a silly photo together. \u003ccite>(Courtesy Jenn Noble)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>“Worlds are not split. I’m me everywhere I go. So, if I’m with one family and they’re saying, ‘You’re this,’ and I’m with another family and they’re saying, ‘You’re that,’ I’m still the same person in both environments. They may be acknowledging just one portion, but I’m always one person. And then stepping into that,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>4. Be bold\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Noble says it’s easy for mixed-race kids to feel they don’t belong anywhere, when actually they are members of more communities than many other people. The trick is to boldly step into those spaces and own the right to be there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"‘Worlds are not split. I’m me everywhere I go. So, if I’m with one family and they’re saying, ‘You’re this,’ and I’m with another family and they’re saying, ‘You’re that,’ I’m still the same person in both environments.’","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Jenn Noble, psychologist","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When your phenotype really doesn’t match one of the groups you belong to, you develop that skill of being like, ‘Well, I’m going to enter this space anyway and y’all are going to be all right and we’ll figure it out together,’” she said. “You should be there, and you should participate and you should feel comfortable to do so.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>5. Don’t use fractions\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Parents have many opportunities to name their child’s multiple heritages and model the normalcy of that. If a nosy neighbor asks, “What’s your kid’s background?,” answer by naming all their racial identities, but not breaking them into fractions. “Ands” and commas will be your friends. For example, say, “My kid is Black and Filipino and Chinese,” not, “She’s a quarter Black, a quarter Chinese and half Filipino.”\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"tag":"mixed","label":"label='More from the 'Mixed Series'"},"numeric":["label='More","from","the","'Mixed","Series'"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>“The more you model that, your kid is going to hear you,” Noble said. “Because your little child could be standing there when you assert their identity to someone else and they’re going to be like, ‘Oh, yeah, that’s right. I am all those things.’ [Modeling that] full embracing of identity is going to be helpful for that child.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>6. Remind your kids they are enough\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>There’s not a magic checklist of things that makes someone, for example, “Mexican enough,” “Black enough” or “Indian enough.” Chasing after one is exhausting and probably won’t work. Try to cultivate the mindset that you belong and don’t have to prove it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For more resources, check out \u003ca href=\"https://www.drjennpsych.com/\">Noble’s website\u003c/a> and take her “\u003ca href=\"https://www.drjennpsych.com/take-the-quiz\">How ‘Woke’ is Your Mixed Race Parenting? quiz\u003c/a>.” And the \u003ca href=\"https://www.drjennpsych.com/\">Mixed Life Academy\u003c/a> is one model of a parent support group for working through some of the tricky issues that come up in this space.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For tips and suggestions for mixed-race teens, check out our companion post featuring Rahul Yates, a high school senior from Los Angeles who hosts the \u003ca href=\"https://www.iheart.com/podcast/53-mixed-by-gen-z-103270911/\">Mixed by Gen Z podcast\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca id=\"anchor\">\u003c/a>\u003cbr>\n\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"hearken","attributes":{"named":{"id":"7528","src":"https://modules.wearehearken.com/kqed/embed/7528.js","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11947041/one-psychologists-tips-for-raising-strong-multiracial-kids","authors":["234","254","3239"],"programs":["news_72","news_26731"],"categories":["news_8"],"tags":["news_18538","news_2043","news_28094","news_17762","news_28093","news_28092","news_28237","news_30625","news_689","news_21423","news_29068"],"featImg":"news_11947096","label":"news_26731"},"news_11943452":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11943452","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11943452","score":null,"sort":[1678834196000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"bay-area-behavioral-economist-says-psychology-has-a-lot-to-do-with-silicon-valley-bank-collapse","title":"Bay Area Behavioral Economist Says Psychology Has a Lot to Do With Silicon Valley Bank Collapse","publishDate":1678834196,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Bay Area Behavioral Economist Says Psychology Has a Lot to Do With Silicon Valley Bank Collapse | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>With the Biden administration taking \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2023/03/12/1162975615/the-u-s-takes-emergency-measures-to-protect-all-deposits-at-silicon-valley-bank\">emergency steps to address the failure of Silicon Valley Bank\u003c/a> (SVB) — the second largest bank collapse in U.S. history — Rep. Ro Khanna, who represents parts of Silicon Valley, said he’s glad the situation got resolved.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The venture capital money that was in the bank would have been protected regardless, but the small-businesses’ accounts were at risk and it would have affected hundreds of thousands of Americans, not just in our area but around the country, from getting paid,” he told KQED Monday morning.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Khanna said that, after the news of the collapse Friday, he was in touch with hundreds of constituents affected by the bank’s downfall, which was driven by an \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2023/03/10/1162599556/silicon-valley-bank-collapse-failure-fdic-regulators-run-on-bank\">apparent panic-induced bank run\u003c/a>.[pullquote size=\"medium\" align=\"right\" citation=\"Hersh Shefrin, behavioral economist, Santa Clara University\"]‘I think what you saw at Silicon Valley Bank was weakness in terms of risk management for psychological reasons that had to do with overconfidence on the part of the management leaders’ leadership and Silicon Valley Bank.’[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hersh Shefrin, behavioral economist at Santa Clara University, says the psychology underpinning this financial turning point can’t be ignored.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The most important part of the story is panic,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite the federal government’s measures on Monday that were meant to alleviate customers’ fears, many bank stocks, including those of First Republic, a regional bank based in San Francisco, tanked. The question is whether these ripple effects will last — especially when it comes to the trust between tech start-ups, which drive the Bay Area economy, and their financial institutions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>KQED’s Brian Watt discussed with Shefrin the role psychology played in the Silicon Valley Bank collapse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This interview has been edited for length and clarity.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>On how Shefrin understands the latest bank collapse\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>We know that bank runs are simply part and parcel of the banking industry. We had thought that we had it pretty much under control: the establishment of the FDIC, Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, that basically insures deposits up to $250,000.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What makes Silicon Valley Bank different from some of the other regional banks that are in trouble is that most of their deposits are too large to fall under the $250,000 limit. They’re just outsized. And that’s because the depositors are corporations rather than individuals who need large corporate checking balances. So if you’re a financial institution in that situation, you need to be more prudent than the other large commercial banks that cater to individuals. I think what you saw at Silicon Valley Bank was weakness in terms of risk management for psychological reasons that had to do with overconfidence on the part of the management leaders’ leadership and Silicon Valley Bank.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It was a breakdown in confidence and trust that led to a mass reaction on the part of depositors as they pulled out. And it’s that psychological aspect. Primitive fight or flight is really what you had take over last week on the part of depositors. And so it was that combination psychology on both sides.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>On how a financial institution can get overconfident, even after what the tech industry has experienced\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>It’s related to personality and it’s also related to the culture of the environment. So I would say Silicon Valley Bank executives were not atypical of an overconfident culture within Silicon Valley itself. And I want to be clear to say that this is a double-edged sword. You need to have a little overconfidence and a little excessive optimism to do great things. And so having that combination of mild excess has fueled innovation and creativity within the Valley. It’s when you get too much of a good thing that you wind up in trouble.[aside postID=\"news_11943347,forum_2010101892482\" label=\"Related Posts\"]I make a point of telling my students, don’t confuse overconfidence with stupidity. So executives who are successful are oftentimes very smart. But that doesn’t stop them from being overconfident. Overconfidence doesn’t mean they’re not smart. It just means they’re not as smart as they think they are. It’s like a Greek tragedy, where you have heroes who do great things but have fatal flaws. And that’s what I think we had happen at Silicon Valley Bank.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>On the role of state regulators in oversight\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Silicon Valley Bank is a state-chartered bank, and so state regulators have first-line responsibility in regulating these institutions. What we know historically is that the strength of regulation ebbs and flows depending on the political environment. So sometimes, especially after crises, there’s a demand for stronger regulation. That’s what we’re hearing now, and over time, when the threats and the risks aren’t as salient, then you will have efforts made to sort of dial back on regulation, because it is true regulation is costly. It’s a balancing act. The question is where is the right balance point.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>On how people should think about SVB’s failure and financial unrest with a potential recession this year\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>I think that the [Federal Reserve] is going to feel pressure to pull back on their inflation fight because they might make things a whole lot worse. JPMorgan and other financial institutions have been telling us they think that a recession is going to be in the cards. We get recessions as a natural part of economic activity. It shouldn’t be a surprise if it happens. The question is whether we’ll be able to have a fairly mild recession. I think that’s what we are sort of looking for and hoping for rather than no recession. And so can policymakers take very careful steps, do the best job they can, in order to not throw gasoline on the fire?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Behavioral economist Hersh Shefrin shares his thoughts on the role psychology played in the Silicon Valley Bank collapse and what this means with a potential recession this year.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1682705580,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":16,"wordCount":1019},"headData":{"title":"Bay Area Behavioral Economist Says Psychology Has a Lot to Do With Silicon Valley Bank Collapse | KQED","description":"Behavioral economist Hersh Shefrin shares his thoughts on the role psychology played in the Silicon Valley Bank collapse and what this means with a potential recession this year.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"audioUrl":"https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/0af137ef-751e-4b19-a055-aaef00d2d578/ffca7e9f-6831-4[…]f-aaef00f5a073/c63ac11d-2ca5-4d4b-a366-afc50119280c/audio.mp3","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","articleAge":"0","path":"/news/11943452/bay-area-behavioral-economist-says-psychology-has-a-lot-to-do-with-silicon-valley-bank-collapse","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>With the Biden administration taking \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2023/03/12/1162975615/the-u-s-takes-emergency-measures-to-protect-all-deposits-at-silicon-valley-bank\">emergency steps to address the failure of Silicon Valley Bank\u003c/a> (SVB) — the second largest bank collapse in U.S. history — Rep. Ro Khanna, who represents parts of Silicon Valley, said he’s glad the situation got resolved.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The venture capital money that was in the bank would have been protected regardless, but the small-businesses’ accounts were at risk and it would have affected hundreds of thousands of Americans, not just in our area but around the country, from getting paid,” he told KQED Monday morning.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Khanna said that, after the news of the collapse Friday, he was in touch with hundreds of constituents affected by the bank’s downfall, which was driven by an \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2023/03/10/1162599556/silicon-valley-bank-collapse-failure-fdic-regulators-run-on-bank\">apparent panic-induced bank run\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"‘I think what you saw at Silicon Valley Bank was weakness in terms of risk management for psychological reasons that had to do with overconfidence on the part of the management leaders’ leadership and Silicon Valley Bank.’","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Hersh Shefrin, behavioral economist, Santa Clara University","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hersh Shefrin, behavioral economist at Santa Clara University, says the psychology underpinning this financial turning point can’t be ignored.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The most important part of the story is panic,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite the federal government’s measures on Monday that were meant to alleviate customers’ fears, many bank stocks, including those of First Republic, a regional bank based in San Francisco, tanked. The question is whether these ripple effects will last — especially when it comes to the trust between tech start-ups, which drive the Bay Area economy, and their financial institutions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>KQED’s Brian Watt discussed with Shefrin the role psychology played in the Silicon Valley Bank collapse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This interview has been edited for length and clarity.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>On how Shefrin understands the latest bank collapse\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>We know that bank runs are simply part and parcel of the banking industry. We had thought that we had it pretty much under control: the establishment of the FDIC, Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, that basically insures deposits up to $250,000.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What makes Silicon Valley Bank different from some of the other regional banks that are in trouble is that most of their deposits are too large to fall under the $250,000 limit. They’re just outsized. And that’s because the depositors are corporations rather than individuals who need large corporate checking balances. So if you’re a financial institution in that situation, you need to be more prudent than the other large commercial banks that cater to individuals. I think what you saw at Silicon Valley Bank was weakness in terms of risk management for psychological reasons that had to do with overconfidence on the part of the management leaders’ leadership and Silicon Valley Bank.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It was a breakdown in confidence and trust that led to a mass reaction on the part of depositors as they pulled out. And it’s that psychological aspect. Primitive fight or flight is really what you had take over last week on the part of depositors. And so it was that combination psychology on both sides.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>On how a financial institution can get overconfident, even after what the tech industry has experienced\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>It’s related to personality and it’s also related to the culture of the environment. So I would say Silicon Valley Bank executives were not atypical of an overconfident culture within Silicon Valley itself. And I want to be clear to say that this is a double-edged sword. You need to have a little overconfidence and a little excessive optimism to do great things. And so having that combination of mild excess has fueled innovation and creativity within the Valley. It’s when you get too much of a good thing that you wind up in trouble.\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"news_11943347,forum_2010101892482","label":"Related Posts "},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>I make a point of telling my students, don’t confuse overconfidence with stupidity. So executives who are successful are oftentimes very smart. But that doesn’t stop them from being overconfident. Overconfidence doesn’t mean they’re not smart. It just means they’re not as smart as they think they are. It’s like a Greek tragedy, where you have heroes who do great things but have fatal flaws. And that’s what I think we had happen at Silicon Valley Bank.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>On the role of state regulators in oversight\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Silicon Valley Bank is a state-chartered bank, and so state regulators have first-line responsibility in regulating these institutions. What we know historically is that the strength of regulation ebbs and flows depending on the political environment. So sometimes, especially after crises, there’s a demand for stronger regulation. That’s what we’re hearing now, and over time, when the threats and the risks aren’t as salient, then you will have efforts made to sort of dial back on regulation, because it is true regulation is costly. It’s a balancing act. The question is where is the right balance point.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>On how people should think about SVB’s failure and financial unrest with a potential recession this year\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>I think that the [Federal Reserve] is going to feel pressure to pull back on their inflation fight because they might make things a whole lot worse. JPMorgan and other financial institutions have been telling us they think that a recession is going to be in the cards. We get recessions as a natural part of economic activity. It shouldn’t be a surprise if it happens. The question is whether we’ll be able to have a fairly mild recession. I think that’s what we are sort of looking for and hoping for rather than no recession. And so can policymakers take very careful steps, do the best job they can, in order to not throw gasoline on the fire?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11943452/bay-area-behavioral-economist-says-psychology-has-a-lot-to-do-with-silicon-valley-bank-collapse","authors":["11724","11238"],"categories":["news_8"],"tags":["news_32527","news_32529","news_32530","news_21423","news_28844","news_6927"],"featImg":"news_11943469","label":"news"},"news_11903506":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11903506","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11903506","score":null,"sort":[1643935585000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"i-felt-as-if-i-failed-why-do-some-people-feel-shame-at-getting-covid","title":"'I Felt As If I Failed': Why Do Some People Feel Shame at Getting COVID?","publishDate":1643935585,"format":"image","headTitle":"KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>[dropcap]G[/dropcap]etting COVID can make a person feel a variety of emotions: anger, fear, frustration. But many folks have reported experiencing another kind of reaction to their own positive test result: a feeling of shame.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those who haven’t experienced it themselves, the idea of being ashamed at getting COVID — during a literal pandemic, no less — might seem odd. And yet \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11902308\">when we asked KQED audiences for their stories\u003c/a>, \"COVID shame\" was something that many people told us they couldn’t help but feel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I cried the second I saw the pink line,\" one audience member told KQED. \"I felt as if I failed myself and society.\" Like most people who sent us their stories, they asked to remain anonymous.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I thought I would be a disappointment to [my staff], I thought I’d let them down,\" a person who worked in hospitality wrote. Another person said social media had been compounding their feelings of guilt and shame after testing positive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I saw a friend's post of a small, masked gathering on Instagram,\" they wrote. \"The caption said something about how no one in the photo had ever had COVID because they took 'the right precautions.' Ouch.\" The post, they wrote, \"made me feel like I caught COVID because I hadn't [taken precautions].\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation=\"Dr. Marissa Raymond-Flesch, UCSF physician\"]'[Getting COVID] felt like a moral failing on some level — like there would be an assumption that I took an unnecessary risk, or did something to get myself sick.'[/pullquote]Not even medical professionals are immune from feeling shame at testing positive. UCSF physician Marissa Raymond-Flesch told KQED about her experience of catching the delta variant \"after being incredibly COVID-cautious for the entire pandemic.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It felt,\" wrote Raymond-Flesch, \"like a moral failing on some level — like there would be an assumption that I took an unnecessary risk, or did something to get myself sick. It helped me to understand how much judgment people harbor about those who get COVID.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And judging from KQED's audience responses, you don’t have to get COVID to feel COVID shame. \"If I ever do test positive, I know it will feel like I did something wrong,\" one anonymous audience member said. \"I feel a lot of shame and anxiety related to any minor sniffle, even when I test negative,\" said another.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of course, this isn't everyone's COVID reality. There are many people who continue to feel fear or anxiety rather than shame when they test positive — people more concerned about lost wages, or being immunocompromised and high-risk, or not having access to reliable health information in languages other than English, than being ashamed of what others might think of them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it begs the question: How did we get to a point where contracting the disease that’s been raging at pandemic level across the globe still feels, for some, like a personal failing?\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Why talking about COVID can be like talking about sexual health\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>There’s a long history of shame — and shaming — when it comes to viruses and disease. Especially when it involves contagion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This history is something that’s often most keenly felt in the world of sexual health and sexually transmitted infections. Bay Area teacher and sex educator Julia Feldman said the parallels between how we talk about COVID and conversations about sexual health have been there since the start of the pandemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11902462\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 804px\">\u003cimg src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/gettyimages-1237291550-dabc9b233c1a9c6516b0c2f0b08a5324dfcf86bc.jpg\" alt=\"A hand holding a white and red rapid antigen test.\" width=\"804\" height=\"603\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11902462\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/gettyimages-1237291550-dabc9b233c1a9c6516b0c2f0b08a5324dfcf86bc.jpg 804w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/gettyimages-1237291550-dabc9b233c1a9c6516b0c2f0b08a5324dfcf86bc-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/gettyimages-1237291550-dabc9b233c1a9c6516b0c2f0b08a5324dfcf86bc-160x120.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 804px) 100vw, 804px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Some audience members told KQED they felt intense shame and guilt about the ripple effects their positive diagnosis had created for others in their lives. \u003ccite>(Joseph Prezioso/AFP via Getty Images)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The major overlap, said Feldman, is that \"from the beginning of the pandemic, we've been taught that it's our responsibility to stay healthy, and that we can do things to \u003cem>do\u003c/em> that.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The \"major misconception\" underlying feelings of shame in regard to both sexual health and COVID, she said, is that \"if we do 'all the right things,' we won't get it. And that the logical extension of that is, well, if you do get it, it must mean you've done something wrong.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In this environment, you don't need to have caught COVID to feel like you're constantly teetering on the precipice of shame. Despite never having tested positive, audience member Rachel S. said she experienced intense \"guilt and shame\" just waiting for test results anytime she felt she might have COVID symptoms — and quizzed herself constantly about what she might have done \"wrong\": \"'Was it from when I sat at that outdoor patio the other day? Or visited my parents last week? I knew I shouldn't have!' etc.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation=\"Julia Feldman, teacher and sex educator\"]'From the beginning of the pandemic, we've been taught that it's our responsibility to stay healthy, and that we can do things to \u003cem>do\u003c/em> that.'[/pullquote]Audience members also reported feeling intense shame and guilt about the ripple effects their positive diagnosis created for others in their lives — the exposure they’d caused family members, or the impact on their work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I held my baby niece the day before I tested positive. I’d also met my sisters, parents, and my 3-year-old had gone to preschool,\" wrote one audience member. \"I was so upset that I had exposed so many people, some vulnerable without being able to be vaccinated, and hadn’t just stayed home.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Exposure, close contact, wearing protection, getting tested, vaccination: It’s striking how much of our language around COVID mirrors the vocabulary of sexual health. (One anonymous audience member even referred to her COVID diagnosis — and how she felt others would judge her for it — as \"my Scarlet Letter.\")\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And of course, shame and shaming around infection is nothing new.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"As a tool for social control, shame around sexuality and sexual health has existed as long as we know,\" said Feldman. \"Because especially our current society is so deeply impacted by purity culture from religion.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>'It's our job to not get sick'\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The idea of personal wrongdoing always being to blame for infection — whether it’s COVID or an STI — is just not accurate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Every doctor will tell you that you can take every precaution and use condoms, get tested regularly, communicate as much as you can with your partners, and you can still contract an STI — even if you do all 'the right things,'\" said Feldman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yet notions of shame persist around sexual health and COVID in ways they don’t with the common cold, or a bout of flu, precisely because of that idea of being well behaved enough to escape infection. In contrast to those winter bugs, with STIs and COVID Feldman said \"we're taught that it's our job to not get sick.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11902464\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1706px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11902464\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/rapid-antigen-getty-1360218499-68f8812df7a058f0fe404fbc8c7f3736393405d4.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1706\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/rapid-antigen-getty-1360218499-68f8812df7a058f0fe404fbc8c7f3736393405d4.jpg 1706w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/rapid-antigen-getty-1360218499-68f8812df7a058f0fe404fbc8c7f3736393405d4-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/rapid-antigen-getty-1360218499-68f8812df7a058f0fe404fbc8c7f3736393405d4-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/rapid-antigen-getty-1360218499-68f8812df7a058f0fe404fbc8c7f3736393405d4-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/rapid-antigen-getty-1360218499-68f8812df7a058f0fe404fbc8c7f3736393405d4-1536x1152.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1706px) 100vw, 1706px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">An AccessBio CareStart COVID-19 antigen home test. \u003ccite>(Ben Hasty/MediaNews Group/Reading Eagle via Getty Images)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Several audience members told KQED they actually felt more ashamed to get COVID \u003cem>because\u003c/em> they’d been so cautious previously — and been vocal about their caution — as if their positive test was some kind of divine punishment for their hubris, inviting judgment upon them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I was ashamed because I felt like I would be judged, having been vocal about wearing masks and getting tested regularly on my social media,” one person told us. “It felt like a failure.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another audience member, Nicole, said that after two years of working from home, masking, rarely socializing and “being critical of others who weren't doing everything ‘right’, I got it anyway.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Of course it was embarrassing to have the thing I had considered so avoidable, that only ignorant or selfish people got,” wrote Nicole.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation=\"Anonymous\"]'I was ashamed because I felt like I would be judged, having been vocal about wearing masks and getting tested regularly on my social media. It felt like a failure.'[/pullquote]In some cases, the sense of responsibility felt by people at getting COVID can have truly devastating consequences. Earlier this month, the \u003ca href=\"https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2022-01-16/covid-took-his-dad-away-then-his-dreams-began-to-fade\">Los Angeles Times featured the story of Anthony Michael Reyes Jr.\u003c/a>, a 17-year-old who contracted COVID at school and brought it back into his LA household.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After his father was placed on a ventilator and died from the disease, Reyes is reported as having spoken of blaming himself for getting COVID at school and infecting his father. Almost three months after his father’s death, Reyes took his own life.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>'Not a moral failing'\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>If a person tells themself that getting COVID can be a moral slipup, that also confers a kind of goodness — superiority, even — on the people who haven’t gotten it yet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This notion of avoiding COVID if you make \"the right choices\" can also lead to framing ourselves (and other people) as accordingly trustworthy or not, Feldman said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's something echoed in the story of one anonymous audience member who told us how they contracted COVID from a house guest whose assurances of having tested negative earlier turned out to be false.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I felt ashamed of myself for trusting blindly and not taking enough precautions to protect myself,\" said the commenter. \"I should have used my judgment.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When a person is surrounded by messages that COVID only happens to the careless and the reckless, actually \u003cem>getting\u003c/em> COVID can create a kind of jarring dissonance in the mind, between the kind of person someone thinks themselves to be (cautious, COVID-negative) and the kind of person a positive test \"reveals\" them to be. Another audience member told us of her \"mistake\" sharing an unmasked indoor meal with another person, which led to her own positive COVID test.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Why did I trust this young man? … The guilt and shame I felt was intense,\" she said. \"I had prided myself on being a responsible person and very cautious about COVID.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11901091\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 2560px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11901091\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-scaled.jpg\" alt='Several small boxes are stacked next to each other on a counter, each one has the same design and label, which read, \"COVID-19 Antigen Home Test.\"' width=\"2560\" height=\"1706\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-scaled.jpg 2560w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-1920x1280.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Rapid COVID-19 test kits await distribution at Union Station in Los Angeles on Jan. 7, 2022. \u003ccite>(Frederic J. Brown/AFP via Getty Images)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>“When we infuse so much meaning into these concepts, we're really doing ourselves a great disservice,” said Feldman. “Because it's not a moral failing if you get sick. And that's kind of the messaging that people have been given from the start of the pandemic: that if you get it, you're failing.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>'Accountability without shame'\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Of course, not everyone thinks shaming some people who get COVID is necessarily a bad thing. (As \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/ukgirlinsf/status/1484696098568499202\">one Twitter user responded to KQED's callout\u003c/a> about COVID shame: \"If they didn’t take precautions or wear a mask, or get vaccinated, and get COVID then they absolutely should feel guilty! Only those taking precautions who still contract COVID should feel guilt free.\")\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's easy to find people who think those who are reckless — with their socializing, with not getting vaccinated — should be shamed. But as a tool for change and a public health mitigation, shame doesn’t actually work, said Feldman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The data shows us that fear and shame are not effective strategies,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation=\"Julia Feldman, teacher and sex educator\"]'It's not a moral failing if you get sick.'[/pullquote]Feldman wants to see us talk less in terms of shame and more about accountability: for the choices we make, and how they affect others in our lives. Many of us default to binary thinking, she said, because of how complex these conversations can be. And much of sex education historically has not been \"able to hold space for those complexities, for teaching people how to navigate risk and also understand personal and collective risk — and when your risk can impact other people.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When it comes to sexual health, that's one of the few areas where our personal decisions about risk impact other people's risk,\" Feldman said — a dynamic with clear parallels to COVID. Yet rather than rushing to feel or impart shame, \"can we hold responsibility for making informed decisions for being communicative about our risk?\" asked Feldman, so that \"we're also not shaming people when it turns out that the risks they took didn't pan out?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Can we have accountability without shame?” she asked.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>A painful history\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>In a place like the Bay Area, the notion of feeling shame for contracting a contagious disease with high community spread — or being made to feel ashamed for it — can’t help but raise difficult memories of the height of the AIDS epidemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jesus Guillen is an independent consultant on HIV and aging. For him, the shame he’s seeing people exhibit around their positive COVID results is a reminder that when it comes to contagious disease, \"after 40 years of the first HIV/AIDS cases, we still have so much stigma and discrimination.\" And shame, said Guillen, \"will not \u003cem>be\u003c/em> there without the stigma and discrimination.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>An important connection Guillen draws between HIV/AIDS and COVID is that still-pervasive notion that a person can contract either condition \"because you are not being careful.\" In reality, of course, \"it takes only one person, one distraction,\" he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation=\"Jesus Guillen, founder, HIV Long Term Survivors\"]'Shame will not \u003cem>be\u003c/em> there without the stigma and discrimination.'[/pullquote]As the San Francisco-based founder of the online support network HIV Long Term Survivors, Guillen’s focus is on the kinds of practical and emotional assistance that people living with HIV/AIDS receive — and what they’ve historically been denied. For Guillen, when it comes to COVID, a glaring indication of the sheer lack of support your average person receives is found in the absence of post-diagnosis follow-up, or even counseling, for those who test positive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Guillen said a question he often gets is, \"How soon should I seek out a therapist after my HIV diagnosis?\" Over the decades, his answer remains the same: \"The first day.\" And while AIDS and COVID are of course markedly dissimilar as diseases in many important ways, Guillen said he’s nonetheless struck by the parallels in the all-too-frequent silence at the point of diagnosis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11901097\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 2560px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11901097\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"A person wearing scrubs and a face mask and a plastic protector sticks a nose swab into another person's nose.\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1706\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-scaled.jpg 2560w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-1920x1280.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Merline Jimene administers a COVID-19 test swab at a testing site in the international terminal of Los Angeles International Airport amid a surge in omicron variant cases on Dec. 21, 2021. \u003ccite>(Mario Tama/Getty Images)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Unless you’re receiving your test results from your regular health care provider, who is more likely to offer a follow-up treatment plan, a positive COVID test result from a provider or laboratory isn’t usually followed by an offer of professional emotional support, or guidance navigating next steps. For folks testing positive through rapid at-home antigen tests, that absence of support is likely to be felt more strongly. And Guillen suggests that for many, this — the absence of support at diagnosis — is when a lack of communication sets in, and the shame can soon follow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Knowledge levels around COVID and how it affects the body (specifically, how it might affect yours) also wildly vary from person to person, said Guillen. To generalize about how much the average person knows about the coronavirus is “just a huge mistake,” he said, and it's something that's only exacerbated by a lack of support at the point of diagnosis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After all, if a person has had access to reliable, accurate information about COVID and to a regular health care provider to make them aware of their own risk levels, then that person is more likely to weigh their positive test result with the facts. For others who lack that access, getting diagnosed with COVID can feel like facing something utterly terrifying — and shameful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Shame and silence\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The thing about shame is that it’s a deeply lonely place to be. So perhaps it’s no surprise that the pandemic — a time of frequent isolation, whether you’re COVID-positive or not — has provided such fertile ground for shame.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I cried every day in isolation,\" one anonymous audience member told KQED.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shame also feeds off silence. Feldman said it’s telling that many folks who get COVID often wait to reveal their diagnosis to their wider circles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"A lot of people aren't announcing that they have tested positive until they've recovered, and can show on the other side that they are strong — and that it didn't affect them negatively,\" she observed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In his work with people living with HIV/AIDS, Guillen has seen too many patients feel like they have to hide a diagnosis to all but a select few. \"The reality is that every time that we hide it, of course, then we are not comfortable with ourselves,\" he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Feldman was struck that even New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez — a public figure noted for her radical transparency and vulnerability online — only shared her own positive COVID test after her recovery. Whether they realize it or not, Feldman said, by waiting to disclose their diagnosis after the fact, many people are sharing \"only in light of their proof that they are healthy enough to come out the other side.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.instagram.com/p/CYxZkQOgyjI/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shame is also practically unhelpful during COVID — the secrecy that it feeds can have a chilling effect on transparent communication. In Dec. 2021, Crystal Clark, a psychiatrist and associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine, \u003ca href=\"https://news.northwestern.edu/stories/2021/12/covid-shame-torments-the-infected/\">said she’d observed how COVID shame was even resulting in some people not getting tested\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"They believe that they have been doing everything as they should, and feel like, ‘I can’t have this,'\" said Clark. \"They avoid finding out, because if they do, it’s that guilt and shame that goes with that.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Feldman gave the example of a person who chooses to dine indoors, but also chooses to tell their elderly family members that they’ve done so “so they know the risks that I took, and will probably choose to be outdoors for the next week because that was a risk I took.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"But there's nothing shameful about \u003cem>taking\u003c/em> that risk,” she stressed. “If there's anything shameful, it would be about taking that risk and then not being transparent about the people that you're potentially endangering.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>'Felt like I wasn't doing my part'\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Throughout the pandemic, official public health language has consistently laid emphasis on the role of the individual in fighting COVID: stop the spread, flatten the curve, do your part. It’s perhaps no surprise then that in comments from KQED's audience, the idea of personal responsibility — and its often-crushing weight — looms so large.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's like I felt I wasn't doing my part as well as I could have to help end this pandemic,\" wrote Rachel S. Another anonymous audience member wrote of their guilt at feeling \"like I could have made better choices (even though we don’t go anywhere or travel.).\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bad choices, good choices, never being quite sure which is which: Shame may thrive within silence and stigma, but it also feeds off isolation and confusion — two things that have been in overabundance during the pandemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation=\"Rachel S., KQED audience member\"]'It's like I felt I wasn't doing my part as well as I could have to help end this pandemic.'[/pullquote]Physical isolation has been enforced during COVID, both for people who test positive and for all of us during periods of what we’ve collectively called \"lockdown\" or \"quarantine,\" as a precautionary measure to avoid community spread. But we’ve also been isolated from reliable information — whether by being flooded with misinformation about vaccines online, or by confusion borne out of a lack of clarity around what’s safe, and what’s not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In many ways it’s possible to see the idea that anyone would even experience shame at testing positive for COVID as an entirely predictable, inevitable consequence of the sheer amount of personal responsibility placed upon individuals over the last two years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/ScrewyDecimal/status/1480205386665844736\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We’re told testing is the responsible thing to do to stop community spread of COVID, and to keep our loved ones and communities safe. And yet, as we’ve seen during the omicron surge, a PCR test with results that come back soon enough to be meaningful can be extremely hard to locate. Twenty-two months into the pandemic, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11901928/you-can-now-order-free-covid-at-home-tests-via-usps\">you can now order four free at-home COVID tests per household from the federal government via the United States Postal Service\u003c/a> — but that’s not nearly enough to cover a house full of roommates, or a multigenerational home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside label='Coronavirus Resources' tag='coronavirus-resources-and-explainers']To wear a mask is to do your part and to do the right thing, we’re told. But assistance in acquiring the right mask has been spotty at best. The first nationwide program to offer free high-quality masks launched in January 2022. For almost two years, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention stressed wearing masks as a crucial way to slow the spread of COVID. But its guidance on which masks were safest was only updated in mid-January 2022, confirming that N95s offered \"the highest level of protection.\" Until now, people have largely been left to work out which mask will protect them best on their own.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When vaccines became widely available in 2021, people were told that getting their shot was the best way to protect not just themselves but their communities. Yet finding an appointment in those first weeks and months was such a complicated, frustrating process that it involved word-of-mouth tips and a degree of tech proficiency that left many people simply unable to find the vaccine they desperately wanted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So if things go wrong — and you already carry the notion that getting COVID is somehow a personal failing — it might be easy to feel like you chose the wrong path and, because you did, you’re to blame.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>'We need a reframing'\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Increasing numbers of vaccinated people have been testing positive for COVID in recent weeks due to the surging omicron variant — most of them not requiring hospitalization thanks to the effectiveness of vaccines. Could there be a silver lining to the spread of omicron, in the sense of decreasing shame by making catching COVID a more universal experience?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/danahull/status/1480319166959611906?s=21\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>UCSF's Dr. Marissa Raymond-Flesch hopes so.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think that any experience that becomes more and more universal becomes less shameful, and I think that's good and wonderful,\" she told KQED — but said she also hopes that COVID potentially becoming endemic isn't the only reason to wave goodbye to the shame of a positive test. \"I think that there is room to trust each other — that we are all doing the very best that we can every day — and to figure out what those trade-offs are for our own health and well-being,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But with the sheer weight of personal responsibility placed on individuals during the pandemic, set against a centuries-long backdrop of shaming around disease, can we \u003cem>ever\u003c/em> truly escape the specter of shame as long as COVID is with us? Or for the next great contagious threat to public health?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I want to believe that we can learn from our mistakes,\" said Julia Feldman. “But I think it's very similar to sexual health. You can't learn from your mistakes without access to accurate information … I think as a society, we need a reframing.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For Feldman, it’s not just about evolving our thinking around disease, but also \"our understanding of risk and responsibility\" — and learning to accept the complexity and nuances of those conversations. As a collective, she said, it’s about finding a way to \"hold space\" for those competing ideas: \"Yes, we want to do everything we can to keep ourselves safe — and at the same time, no matter how much you tried, the reality is that there's nothing you can do to stay 100% safe.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If we're going to accept that shame does not correct people's behavior in an effective and long-term way, what does?\" Feldman asked. \"I think it's something that's very antithetical to our cultural approach to individualism, this notion that there is collective responsibility, that my actions impact you — and that that's not a bad thing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation=\"Jesus Guillen, founder, HIV Long Term Survivors\"]'I really believe that if we don't deal with the stigma and discrimination in one health issue, we will never [move] ahead with the next one.'[/pullquote]Jesus Guillen suggests that these internalized social judgments will persist as long as diseases like AIDS and COVID continue to be seen less as health conditions and more as symbols, loaded with moral and political meaning. And Guillen said that if unaddressed, our collective inability to divorce diseases from judgment will only get worse for those who contract those diseases — whatever they are.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I really believe that if we don't deal with the stigma and discrimination in one health issue, we will never [move] ahead with the next one,\" he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And in the meantime, as we approach the three-year mark of the coronavirus pandemic, if someone still experiences shame as their default emotion when they test positive, UCSF’s Dr. Marissa Raymond-Flesch offers a perspective that she found personally comforting after her own positive diagnosis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"My husband told me, 'It’s like you've been standing in a hurricane for more than a year with an umbrella and you finally got wet,'\" said Raymond-Flesch. \"It was an incredibly helpful metaphor that I've shared with many patients and colleagues who have tested positive since then.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She tells those people \"that we are in the middle of a pandemic, and we are each doing the best that we can to get by, in so many ways.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Nobody should ever have to feel ashamed of getting COVID — but many told KQED they still do. Why?","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1644005716,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":83,"wordCount":4498},"headData":{"title":"'I Felt As If I Failed': Why Do Some People Feel Shame at Getting COVID? | KQED","description":"Nobody should ever have to feel ashamed of getting COVID — but many told KQED they still do. Why?","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11903506 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11903506","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2022/02/03/i-felt-as-if-i-failed-why-do-some-people-feel-shame-at-getting-covid/","disqusTitle":"'I Felt As If I Failed': Why Do Some People Feel Shame at Getting COVID?","audioUrl":"https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/0af137ef-751e-4b19-a055-aaef00d2d578/ffca7e9f-6831-41c5-bcaf-aaef00f5a073/9be9b6ff-8754-40a1-b32e-ae3101347902/audio.mp3","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","path":"/news/11903506/i-felt-as-if-i-failed-why-do-some-people-feel-shame-at-getting-covid","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class=\"utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__dropcapShortcode__dropcap\">G\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>etting COVID can make a person feel a variety of emotions: anger, fear, frustration. But many folks have reported experiencing another kind of reaction to their own positive test result: a feeling of shame.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those who haven’t experienced it themselves, the idea of being ashamed at getting COVID — during a literal pandemic, no less — might seem odd. And yet \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11902308\">when we asked KQED audiences for their stories\u003c/a>, \"COVID shame\" was something that many people told us they couldn’t help but feel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I cried the second I saw the pink line,\" one audience member told KQED. \"I felt as if I failed myself and society.\" Like most people who sent us their stories, they asked to remain anonymous.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I thought I would be a disappointment to [my staff], I thought I’d let them down,\" a person who worked in hospitality wrote. Another person said social media had been compounding their feelings of guilt and shame after testing positive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I saw a friend's post of a small, masked gathering on Instagram,\" they wrote. \"The caption said something about how no one in the photo had ever had COVID because they took 'the right precautions.' Ouch.\" The post, they wrote, \"made me feel like I caught COVID because I hadn't [taken precautions].\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'[Getting COVID] felt like a moral failing on some level — like there would be an assumption that I took an unnecessary risk, or did something to get myself sick.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Dr. Marissa Raymond-Flesch, UCSF physician","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>Not even medical professionals are immune from feeling shame at testing positive. UCSF physician Marissa Raymond-Flesch told KQED about her experience of catching the delta variant \"after being incredibly COVID-cautious for the entire pandemic.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It felt,\" wrote Raymond-Flesch, \"like a moral failing on some level — like there would be an assumption that I took an unnecessary risk, or did something to get myself sick. It helped me to understand how much judgment people harbor about those who get COVID.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And judging from KQED's audience responses, you don’t have to get COVID to feel COVID shame. \"If I ever do test positive, I know it will feel like I did something wrong,\" one anonymous audience member said. \"I feel a lot of shame and anxiety related to any minor sniffle, even when I test negative,\" said another.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of course, this isn't everyone's COVID reality. There are many people who continue to feel fear or anxiety rather than shame when they test positive — people more concerned about lost wages, or being immunocompromised and high-risk, or not having access to reliable health information in languages other than English, than being ashamed of what others might think of them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it begs the question: How did we get to a point where contracting the disease that’s been raging at pandemic level across the globe still feels, for some, like a personal failing?\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Why talking about COVID can be like talking about sexual health\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>There’s a long history of shame — and shaming — when it comes to viruses and disease. Especially when it involves contagion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This history is something that’s often most keenly felt in the world of sexual health and sexually transmitted infections. Bay Area teacher and sex educator Julia Feldman said the parallels between how we talk about COVID and conversations about sexual health have been there since the start of the pandemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11902462\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 804px\">\u003cimg src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/gettyimages-1237291550-dabc9b233c1a9c6516b0c2f0b08a5324dfcf86bc.jpg\" alt=\"A hand holding a white and red rapid antigen test.\" width=\"804\" height=\"603\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11902462\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/gettyimages-1237291550-dabc9b233c1a9c6516b0c2f0b08a5324dfcf86bc.jpg 804w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/gettyimages-1237291550-dabc9b233c1a9c6516b0c2f0b08a5324dfcf86bc-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/gettyimages-1237291550-dabc9b233c1a9c6516b0c2f0b08a5324dfcf86bc-160x120.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 804px) 100vw, 804px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Some audience members told KQED they felt intense shame and guilt about the ripple effects their positive diagnosis had created for others in their lives. \u003ccite>(Joseph Prezioso/AFP via Getty Images)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The major overlap, said Feldman, is that \"from the beginning of the pandemic, we've been taught that it's our responsibility to stay healthy, and that we can do things to \u003cem>do\u003c/em> that.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The \"major misconception\" underlying feelings of shame in regard to both sexual health and COVID, she said, is that \"if we do 'all the right things,' we won't get it. And that the logical extension of that is, well, if you do get it, it must mean you've done something wrong.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In this environment, you don't need to have caught COVID to feel like you're constantly teetering on the precipice of shame. Despite never having tested positive, audience member Rachel S. said she experienced intense \"guilt and shame\" just waiting for test results anytime she felt she might have COVID symptoms — and quizzed herself constantly about what she might have done \"wrong\": \"'Was it from when I sat at that outdoor patio the other day? Or visited my parents last week? I knew I shouldn't have!' etc.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'From the beginning of the pandemic, we've been taught that it's our responsibility to stay healthy, and that we can do things to \u003cem>do\u003c/em> that.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Julia Feldman, teacher and sex educator","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>Audience members also reported feeling intense shame and guilt about the ripple effects their positive diagnosis created for others in their lives — the exposure they’d caused family members, or the impact on their work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I held my baby niece the day before I tested positive. I’d also met my sisters, parents, and my 3-year-old had gone to preschool,\" wrote one audience member. \"I was so upset that I had exposed so many people, some vulnerable without being able to be vaccinated, and hadn’t just stayed home.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Exposure, close contact, wearing protection, getting tested, vaccination: It’s striking how much of our language around COVID mirrors the vocabulary of sexual health. (One anonymous audience member even referred to her COVID diagnosis — and how she felt others would judge her for it — as \"my Scarlet Letter.\")\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And of course, shame and shaming around infection is nothing new.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"As a tool for social control, shame around sexuality and sexual health has existed as long as we know,\" said Feldman. \"Because especially our current society is so deeply impacted by purity culture from religion.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>'It's our job to not get sick'\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The idea of personal wrongdoing always being to blame for infection — whether it’s COVID or an STI — is just not accurate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Every doctor will tell you that you can take every precaution and use condoms, get tested regularly, communicate as much as you can with your partners, and you can still contract an STI — even if you do all 'the right things,'\" said Feldman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yet notions of shame persist around sexual health and COVID in ways they don’t with the common cold, or a bout of flu, precisely because of that idea of being well behaved enough to escape infection. In contrast to those winter bugs, with STIs and COVID Feldman said \"we're taught that it's our job to not get sick.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11902464\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1706px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11902464\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/rapid-antigen-getty-1360218499-68f8812df7a058f0fe404fbc8c7f3736393405d4.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1706\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/rapid-antigen-getty-1360218499-68f8812df7a058f0fe404fbc8c7f3736393405d4.jpg 1706w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/rapid-antigen-getty-1360218499-68f8812df7a058f0fe404fbc8c7f3736393405d4-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/rapid-antigen-getty-1360218499-68f8812df7a058f0fe404fbc8c7f3736393405d4-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/rapid-antigen-getty-1360218499-68f8812df7a058f0fe404fbc8c7f3736393405d4-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/rapid-antigen-getty-1360218499-68f8812df7a058f0fe404fbc8c7f3736393405d4-1536x1152.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1706px) 100vw, 1706px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">An AccessBio CareStart COVID-19 antigen home test. \u003ccite>(Ben Hasty/MediaNews Group/Reading Eagle via Getty Images)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Several audience members told KQED they actually felt more ashamed to get COVID \u003cem>because\u003c/em> they’d been so cautious previously — and been vocal about their caution — as if their positive test was some kind of divine punishment for their hubris, inviting judgment upon them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I was ashamed because I felt like I would be judged, having been vocal about wearing masks and getting tested regularly on my social media,” one person told us. “It felt like a failure.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another audience member, Nicole, said that after two years of working from home, masking, rarely socializing and “being critical of others who weren't doing everything ‘right’, I got it anyway.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Of course it was embarrassing to have the thing I had considered so avoidable, that only ignorant or selfish people got,” wrote Nicole.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'I was ashamed because I felt like I would be judged, having been vocal about wearing masks and getting tested regularly on my social media. It felt like a failure.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Anonymous","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>In some cases, the sense of responsibility felt by people at getting COVID can have truly devastating consequences. Earlier this month, the \u003ca href=\"https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2022-01-16/covid-took-his-dad-away-then-his-dreams-began-to-fade\">Los Angeles Times featured the story of Anthony Michael Reyes Jr.\u003c/a>, a 17-year-old who contracted COVID at school and brought it back into his LA household.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After his father was placed on a ventilator and died from the disease, Reyes is reported as having spoken of blaming himself for getting COVID at school and infecting his father. Almost three months after his father’s death, Reyes took his own life.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>'Not a moral failing'\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>If a person tells themself that getting COVID can be a moral slipup, that also confers a kind of goodness — superiority, even — on the people who haven’t gotten it yet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This notion of avoiding COVID if you make \"the right choices\" can also lead to framing ourselves (and other people) as accordingly trustworthy or not, Feldman said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's something echoed in the story of one anonymous audience member who told us how they contracted COVID from a house guest whose assurances of having tested negative earlier turned out to be false.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I felt ashamed of myself for trusting blindly and not taking enough precautions to protect myself,\" said the commenter. \"I should have used my judgment.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When a person is surrounded by messages that COVID only happens to the careless and the reckless, actually \u003cem>getting\u003c/em> COVID can create a kind of jarring dissonance in the mind, between the kind of person someone thinks themselves to be (cautious, COVID-negative) and the kind of person a positive test \"reveals\" them to be. Another audience member told us of her \"mistake\" sharing an unmasked indoor meal with another person, which led to her own positive COVID test.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Why did I trust this young man? … The guilt and shame I felt was intense,\" she said. \"I had prided myself on being a responsible person and very cautious about COVID.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11901091\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 2560px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11901091\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-scaled.jpg\" alt='Several small boxes are stacked next to each other on a counter, each one has the same design and label, which read, \"COVID-19 Antigen Home Test.\"' width=\"2560\" height=\"1706\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-scaled.jpg 2560w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1237588762-1920x1280.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Rapid COVID-19 test kits await distribution at Union Station in Los Angeles on Jan. 7, 2022. \u003ccite>(Frederic J. Brown/AFP via Getty Images)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>“When we infuse so much meaning into these concepts, we're really doing ourselves a great disservice,” said Feldman. “Because it's not a moral failing if you get sick. And that's kind of the messaging that people have been given from the start of the pandemic: that if you get it, you're failing.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>'Accountability without shame'\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Of course, not everyone thinks shaming some people who get COVID is necessarily a bad thing. (As \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/ukgirlinsf/status/1484696098568499202\">one Twitter user responded to KQED's callout\u003c/a> about COVID shame: \"If they didn’t take precautions or wear a mask, or get vaccinated, and get COVID then they absolutely should feel guilty! Only those taking precautions who still contract COVID should feel guilt free.\")\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's easy to find people who think those who are reckless — with their socializing, with not getting vaccinated — should be shamed. But as a tool for change and a public health mitigation, shame doesn’t actually work, said Feldman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The data shows us that fear and shame are not effective strategies,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'It's not a moral failing if you get sick.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Julia Feldman, teacher and sex educator","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>Feldman wants to see us talk less in terms of shame and more about accountability: for the choices we make, and how they affect others in our lives. Many of us default to binary thinking, she said, because of how complex these conversations can be. And much of sex education historically has not been \"able to hold space for those complexities, for teaching people how to navigate risk and also understand personal and collective risk — and when your risk can impact other people.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When it comes to sexual health, that's one of the few areas where our personal decisions about risk impact other people's risk,\" Feldman said — a dynamic with clear parallels to COVID. Yet rather than rushing to feel or impart shame, \"can we hold responsibility for making informed decisions for being communicative about our risk?\" asked Feldman, so that \"we're also not shaming people when it turns out that the risks they took didn't pan out?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Can we have accountability without shame?” she asked.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>A painful history\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>In a place like the Bay Area, the notion of feeling shame for contracting a contagious disease with high community spread — or being made to feel ashamed for it — can’t help but raise difficult memories of the height of the AIDS epidemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jesus Guillen is an independent consultant on HIV and aging. For him, the shame he’s seeing people exhibit around their positive COVID results is a reminder that when it comes to contagious disease, \"after 40 years of the first HIV/AIDS cases, we still have so much stigma and discrimination.\" And shame, said Guillen, \"will not \u003cem>be\u003c/em> there without the stigma and discrimination.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>An important connection Guillen draws between HIV/AIDS and COVID is that still-pervasive notion that a person can contract either condition \"because you are not being careful.\" In reality, of course, \"it takes only one person, one distraction,\" he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'Shame will not \u003cem>be\u003c/em> there without the stigma and discrimination.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Jesus Guillen, founder, HIV Long Term Survivors","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>As the San Francisco-based founder of the online support network HIV Long Term Survivors, Guillen’s focus is on the kinds of practical and emotional assistance that people living with HIV/AIDS receive — and what they’ve historically been denied. For Guillen, when it comes to COVID, a glaring indication of the sheer lack of support your average person receives is found in the absence of post-diagnosis follow-up, or even counseling, for those who test positive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Guillen said a question he often gets is, \"How soon should I seek out a therapist after my HIV diagnosis?\" Over the decades, his answer remains the same: \"The first day.\" And while AIDS and COVID are of course markedly dissimilar as diseases in many important ways, Guillen said he’s nonetheless struck by the parallels in the all-too-frequent silence at the point of diagnosis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11901097\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 2560px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11901097\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"A person wearing scrubs and a face mask and a plastic protector sticks a nose swab into another person's nose.\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1706\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-scaled.jpg 2560w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/01/GettyImages-1360301966-1920x1280.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Merline Jimene administers a COVID-19 test swab at a testing site in the international terminal of Los Angeles International Airport amid a surge in omicron variant cases on Dec. 21, 2021. \u003ccite>(Mario Tama/Getty Images)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Unless you’re receiving your test results from your regular health care provider, who is more likely to offer a follow-up treatment plan, a positive COVID test result from a provider or laboratory isn’t usually followed by an offer of professional emotional support, or guidance navigating next steps. For folks testing positive through rapid at-home antigen tests, that absence of support is likely to be felt more strongly. And Guillen suggests that for many, this — the absence of support at diagnosis — is when a lack of communication sets in, and the shame can soon follow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Knowledge levels around COVID and how it affects the body (specifically, how it might affect yours) also wildly vary from person to person, said Guillen. To generalize about how much the average person knows about the coronavirus is “just a huge mistake,” he said, and it's something that's only exacerbated by a lack of support at the point of diagnosis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After all, if a person has had access to reliable, accurate information about COVID and to a regular health care provider to make them aware of their own risk levels, then that person is more likely to weigh their positive test result with the facts. For others who lack that access, getting diagnosed with COVID can feel like facing something utterly terrifying — and shameful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Shame and silence\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The thing about shame is that it’s a deeply lonely place to be. So perhaps it’s no surprise that the pandemic — a time of frequent isolation, whether you’re COVID-positive or not — has provided such fertile ground for shame.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I cried every day in isolation,\" one anonymous audience member told KQED.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shame also feeds off silence. Feldman said it’s telling that many folks who get COVID often wait to reveal their diagnosis to their wider circles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"A lot of people aren't announcing that they have tested positive until they've recovered, and can show on the other side that they are strong — and that it didn't affect them negatively,\" she observed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In his work with people living with HIV/AIDS, Guillen has seen too many patients feel like they have to hide a diagnosis to all but a select few. \"The reality is that every time that we hide it, of course, then we are not comfortable with ourselves,\" he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Feldman was struck that even New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez — a public figure noted for her radical transparency and vulnerability online — only shared her own positive COVID test after her recovery. Whether they realize it or not, Feldman said, by waiting to disclose their diagnosis after the fact, many people are sharing \"only in light of their proof that they are healthy enough to come out the other side.\"\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"instagramLink","attributes":{"named":{"instagramId":"CYxZkQOgyjI"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Shame is also practically unhelpful during COVID — the secrecy that it feeds can have a chilling effect on transparent communication. In Dec. 2021, Crystal Clark, a psychiatrist and associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine, \u003ca href=\"https://news.northwestern.edu/stories/2021/12/covid-shame-torments-the-infected/\">said she’d observed how COVID shame was even resulting in some people not getting tested\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"They believe that they have been doing everything as they should, and feel like, ‘I can’t have this,'\" said Clark. \"They avoid finding out, because if they do, it’s that guilt and shame that goes with that.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Feldman gave the example of a person who chooses to dine indoors, but also chooses to tell their elderly family members that they’ve done so “so they know the risks that I took, and will probably choose to be outdoors for the next week because that was a risk I took.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"But there's nothing shameful about \u003cem>taking\u003c/em> that risk,” she stressed. “If there's anything shameful, it would be about taking that risk and then not being transparent about the people that you're potentially endangering.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>'Felt like I wasn't doing my part'\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Throughout the pandemic, official public health language has consistently laid emphasis on the role of the individual in fighting COVID: stop the spread, flatten the curve, do your part. It’s perhaps no surprise then that in comments from KQED's audience, the idea of personal responsibility — and its often-crushing weight — looms so large.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's like I felt I wasn't doing my part as well as I could have to help end this pandemic,\" wrote Rachel S. Another anonymous audience member wrote of their guilt at feeling \"like I could have made better choices (even though we don’t go anywhere or travel.).\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bad choices, good choices, never being quite sure which is which: Shame may thrive within silence and stigma, but it also feeds off isolation and confusion — two things that have been in overabundance during the pandemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'It's like I felt I wasn't doing my part as well as I could have to help end this pandemic.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Rachel S., KQED audience member","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>Physical isolation has been enforced during COVID, both for people who test positive and for all of us during periods of what we’ve collectively called \"lockdown\" or \"quarantine,\" as a precautionary measure to avoid community spread. But we’ve also been isolated from reliable information — whether by being flooded with misinformation about vaccines online, or by confusion borne out of a lack of clarity around what’s safe, and what’s not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In many ways it’s possible to see the idea that anyone would even experience shame at testing positive for COVID as an entirely predictable, inevitable consequence of the sheer amount of personal responsibility placed upon individuals over the last two years.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"singleTwitterStatus","attributes":{"named":{"id":"1480205386665844736"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>We’re told testing is the responsible thing to do to stop community spread of COVID, and to keep our loved ones and communities safe. And yet, as we’ve seen during the omicron surge, a PCR test with results that come back soon enough to be meaningful can be extremely hard to locate. Twenty-two months into the pandemic, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11901928/you-can-now-order-free-covid-at-home-tests-via-usps\">you can now order four free at-home COVID tests per household from the federal government via the United States Postal Service\u003c/a> — but that’s not nearly enough to cover a house full of roommates, or a multigenerational home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"label":"Coronavirus Resources ","tag":"coronavirus-resources-and-explainers"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>To wear a mask is to do your part and to do the right thing, we’re told. But assistance in acquiring the right mask has been spotty at best. The first nationwide program to offer free high-quality masks launched in January 2022. For almost two years, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention stressed wearing masks as a crucial way to slow the spread of COVID. But its guidance on which masks were safest was only updated in mid-January 2022, confirming that N95s offered \"the highest level of protection.\" Until now, people have largely been left to work out which mask will protect them best on their own.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When vaccines became widely available in 2021, people were told that getting their shot was the best way to protect not just themselves but their communities. Yet finding an appointment in those first weeks and months was such a complicated, frustrating process that it involved word-of-mouth tips and a degree of tech proficiency that left many people simply unable to find the vaccine they desperately wanted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So if things go wrong — and you already carry the notion that getting COVID is somehow a personal failing — it might be easy to feel like you chose the wrong path and, because you did, you’re to blame.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>'We need a reframing'\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Increasing numbers of vaccinated people have been testing positive for COVID in recent weeks due to the surging omicron variant — most of them not requiring hospitalization thanks to the effectiveness of vaccines. Could there be a silver lining to the spread of omicron, in the sense of decreasing shame by making catching COVID a more universal experience?\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"singleTwitterStatus","attributes":{"named":{"id":"1480319166959611906"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>UCSF's Dr. Marissa Raymond-Flesch hopes so.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think that any experience that becomes more and more universal becomes less shameful, and I think that's good and wonderful,\" she told KQED — but said she also hopes that COVID potentially becoming endemic isn't the only reason to wave goodbye to the shame of a positive test. \"I think that there is room to trust each other — that we are all doing the very best that we can every day — and to figure out what those trade-offs are for our own health and well-being,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But with the sheer weight of personal responsibility placed on individuals during the pandemic, set against a centuries-long backdrop of shaming around disease, can we \u003cem>ever\u003c/em> truly escape the specter of shame as long as COVID is with us? Or for the next great contagious threat to public health?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I want to believe that we can learn from our mistakes,\" said Julia Feldman. “But I think it's very similar to sexual health. You can't learn from your mistakes without access to accurate information … I think as a society, we need a reframing.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For Feldman, it’s not just about evolving our thinking around disease, but also \"our understanding of risk and responsibility\" — and learning to accept the complexity and nuances of those conversations. As a collective, she said, it’s about finding a way to \"hold space\" for those competing ideas: \"Yes, we want to do everything we can to keep ourselves safe — and at the same time, no matter how much you tried, the reality is that there's nothing you can do to stay 100% safe.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If we're going to accept that shame does not correct people's behavior in an effective and long-term way, what does?\" Feldman asked. \"I think it's something that's very antithetical to our cultural approach to individualism, this notion that there is collective responsibility, that my actions impact you — and that that's not a bad thing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'I really believe that if we don't deal with the stigma and discrimination in one health issue, we will never [move] ahead with the next one.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Jesus Guillen, founder, HIV Long Term Survivors","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>Jesus Guillen suggests that these internalized social judgments will persist as long as diseases like AIDS and COVID continue to be seen less as health conditions and more as symbols, loaded with moral and political meaning. And Guillen said that if unaddressed, our collective inability to divorce diseases from judgment will only get worse for those who contract those diseases — whatever they are.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I really believe that if we don't deal with the stigma and discrimination in one health issue, we will never [move] ahead with the next one,\" he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And in the meantime, as we approach the three-year mark of the coronavirus pandemic, if someone still experiences shame as their default emotion when they test positive, UCSF’s Dr. Marissa Raymond-Flesch offers a perspective that she found personally comforting after her own positive diagnosis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"My husband told me, 'It’s like you've been standing in a hurricane for more than a year with an umbrella and you finally got wet,'\" said Raymond-Flesch. \"It was an incredibly helpful metaphor that I've shared with many patients and colleagues who have tested positive since then.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She tells those people \"that we are in the middle of a pandemic, and we are each doing the best that we can to get by, in so many ways.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11903506/i-felt-as-if-i-failed-why-do-some-people-feel-shame-at-getting-covid","authors":["3243"],"categories":["news_457","news_8"],"tags":["news_29464","news_27350","news_29029","news_27989","news_27626","news_21423"],"featImg":"news_11903823","label":"news"},"news_11842747":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11842747","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11842747","score":null,"sort":[1603037120000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"helping-hands-need-a-break-too-how-to-lend-support-without-burning-out","title":"Helping Hands Need a Break, Too: How to Lend Support Without Burning Out","publishDate":1603037120,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED News","labelTerm":{},"content":"\u003cp>Feeling overwhelmed? Maybe the parent of a preschooler in your family just called to say they need extra help with child care, and a sick neighbor wants to know if you can pick up some groceries for her. Meanwhile, your best friend keeps calling, wanting to vent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In less stressful times, perhaps, you'd have jumped to help out and lend an ear. But after months of social isolation, juggling work demands, and caring for loved ones, the balance has started to tip. Suddenly your own need for emotional support is outweighing your capacity for kindness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's understandable, and OK. If you're feeling numb or overburdened these days in response to another's pain or request for help, that doesn't make you unkind. What you're feeling could instead be what we mental health professionals call \u003ca href=\"https://www.naadac.org/assets/2416/sharon_foley_ac15_militarycultureho2.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\"compassion fatigue.\"\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anxiety, sadness and low self-worth can also be \u003ca href=\"https://www.stress.org/military/for-practitionersleaders/compassion-fatigue\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">symptoms\u003c/a> of this sort of emotional exhaustion, the American Institute of Stress notes in guidance to therapists. Often we associate this \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7356120/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">stress condition\u003c/a> with counselors and other health care workers, but the \u003ca href=\"https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19/compassion-fatigue\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">American Psychological Association \u003c/a>warns that anyone who continually cares for others or who witnesses trauma is also at risk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J189v01n03_03\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Research\u003c/a> shows compassion fatigue \u003ca href=\"https://academic.oup.com/swr/article-abstract/42/1/33/4788592\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">can be successfully treated\u003c/a> — with stress-reduction techniques, such as meditation, as well as with therapy. The key is learning how to recognize the symptoms so that you can get help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the two of us — a psychologist and a social worker — feel like we have \"nothing left to give,\" supporting our own grieving friends or caring for a sick relative can feel like running a marathon with sore muscles. But showing compassion — and avoiding emotional burnout — doesn't have to be painful for therapists or anyone else. As Stanford psychologist \u003ca href=\"https://profiles.stanford.edu/jamil-zaki\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Jamil Zaki\u003c/a> notes in his book \"The War for Kindness,\" \"empathy is a skill we can all strengthen through effort.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here are some exercises we use to keep ourselves fresh that might help you replenish your empathy stores, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842749\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842749\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-1536x863.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-2048x1150.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-1920x1078.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Social workers know 'compassion fatigue' is a risk of the job, and have learned ways stay healthy and empathetic. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Shift your perspective \u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>How we perceive someone's suffering can impact our own well-being. In one \u003ca href=\"https://isiarticles.com/bundles/Article/pre/pdf/122495.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">study,\u003c/a> researchers found that individuals who \u003cem>feel\u003c/em> someone's pain may be more likely to experience distress than those who \u003cem>think\u003c/em> about how the person is feeling. Apparently, when we not only imagine ourselves in the suffering person's shoes but actually feel as they do, the body's stress response gets triggered.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The solution is to get a little \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-04047-3__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzBWPd2zvA%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">psychological distance\u003c/a> between your thoughts and feelings by trying a technique called, \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnsys.2014.00175/full__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzA_3Lh0eA%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\"cognitive reappraisal,\"\u003c/a> which is reframing how you see a stressful situation. \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29384468/__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzA7dBWNMQ%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Research \u003c/a>suggests it can help you diffuse negative emotions, which can make a real difference physically.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For instance, if your dear friend's heartache feels like your own, pause and ask yourself: \"What are some of the different feelings they might be experiencing right now?\" If their sorrow overtakes you, take a few deep breaths, or reach out to them to ask, \"What do you need right now?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Both tactics can help you recognize your friend's point of view, researchers who study empathy say, while \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735811001115__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzCDNAIJzg%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">tamping down your own stress response\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842750\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842750\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-2048x1152.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-1920x1080.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Your acts of kindness don't have to be huge for others to feel nurtured. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Show up in small ways\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>When someone's suffering is immense, it's easy to feel you have to show up in grand ways. When you hear a friend has cancer, for instance, you may feel you need to jump in to set up a meal train, and send daily text messages and flowers. When a coworker loses their home to wildfire or flood, your first impulse may be to organize a fundraiser or a clothing drive. But if you're also struggling to keep your own life and household afloat, these well-meant gestures may be too much for you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The good news: Your acts of kindness don't have to be huge for others to feel nurtured. In a \u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0265407517724600\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">2017 study\u003c/a>, 495 men and women answered a series of questions about what makes them feel loved. Results showed that the participants saw human connection as more meaningful expressions of care than receiving lavish gifts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Start by deciding how much time you can spare, and identify kind acts that sync with your schedule. If you're working full time and helping your children with remote learning, 30 minutes may be your max, and that's OK. Decide on a few gestures, such as sending a handwritten card or a gift certificate for groceries. Or send a text message that says, \"I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm thinking of you.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842751\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842751\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-1536x863.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-2048x1150.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-1920x1078.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">When we feel compassion fatigue, it's because our desire and ability to help are incompatible. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Practice self-compassion\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>When we feel compassion fatigue, it's because our desire and ability to help are incompatible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If a friend's been in an accident or is seriously ill, for example, you may wish you could drive them to every medical appointment, even though devoting that much time may not be realistic for you. That can set up a negative loop if the guilt and shame of not being able to meet your own standards keeps you from doing anything at all – which only amplifies your feelings of self-loathing. The result: Nobody is helped.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Learn instead to \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.649546\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">start with self-compassion\u003c/a>, which psychologist \u003ca href=\"https://self-compassion.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Kristin Neff\u003c/a> defines as \"personal acceptance, regardless if we succeed or fail.\" That can help \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17439760.2013.831465\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">break this cycle of self-blame\u003c/a> and help deploy your empathy for others. With self-compassion guiding us, we may say: \"At this moment, I accept that I'm exhausted. It's OK to take care of myself,\" or \"I accept that I can't do everything, but I'll help in small ways.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If self-directed kindness is challenging, \u003ca href=\"https://self-compassion.org/exercise-1-treat-friend/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Neff\u003c/a> recommends imagining a friend who's in a dilemma similar to the one you're facing. What advice might you give? You'd probably be kind and understanding, which can serve as a reminder to treat yourself that way, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842752\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842752\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-2048x1152.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-1920x1080.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">In times of grief, people benefit from the support of a community, research suggests. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Enlist the help of others\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Showing up for others doesn't mean you have to manage someone's difficulty all by yourself. In times of grief, people \u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29754514/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">benefit from the support of a community\u003c/a>, research suggests. In a \u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29754514/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">study\u003c/a> of 678 bereaved individuals, researchers found that having the support of friends, family and community helpers made a more significant difference than having just one professional's help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, if a lonely neighbor needs company, see if someone in their \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2020/05/17/857531803/the-pros-and-cons-of-social-bubbles\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">social bubble\u003c/a> can pay them a visit that day, or have a tech-savvy friend set up a video chat. Other friends who bake can leave cookies on their doorstep, and those who enjoy writing can pen heartfelt notes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>An online support group is another resource you might help your neighbor tap. Directories like \u003ca href=\"https://www.supportgroupscentral.com/index.cfm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Support Groups Central\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.psychologytoday.com/us\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Psychology Today\u003c/a> provide a list of groups for people coping with depression, anxiety or grief. It can help to connect, even virtually, with a community of people who share the same struggles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During this year of collective suffering, we need each other more than ever. Expressing empathy in small ways, while also extending kindness toward ourselves, can once again \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00223980.2018.1495170?scroll=top&needAccess=true\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">make helping other people feel like a joy\u003c/a>, instead of a burden. And \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/05/05/719780061/from-gloom-to-gratitude-8-skills-to-cultivate-joy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">cultivating joy in your life\u003c/a> can make any burden \u003cem>you're\u003c/em> carrying feel lighter, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Juli Fraga is a psychologist and writer in San Francisco. You can find her on Twitter \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/dr_fraga\">\u003cem>@dr_fraga\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>. Kelsey Crowe teaches social work at California State University and is the author of \u003c/em> \u003ca href=\"https://www.empathybootcamp.com/pages/the-book\">\"There Is No Good Card For This: What To Say And Do When Life Is Scary, Awful And Unfair To People You Love.\"\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Helping+Hands+Need+A+Break%2C+Too%3A+How+To+Lend+Support+Without+Burning+Out&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"These days, there are hundreds of reasons to open your heart to others, but it's easy to get exhausted. Try these tips honed by social workers for staying healthy and empathetic. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1603132893,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":25,"wordCount":1362},"headData":{"title":"Helping Hands Need a Break, Too: How to Lend Support Without Burning Out | KQED","description":"These days, there are hundreds of reasons to open your heart to others, but it's easy to get exhausted. Try these tips honed by social workers for staying healthy and empathetic. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11842747 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11842747","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2020/10/18/helping-hands-need-a-break-too-how-to-lend-support-without-burning-out/","disqusTitle":"Helping Hands Need a Break, Too: How to Lend Support Without Burning Out","source":"NPR","sourceUrl":"http://npr.com/","nprByline":"Kelsey Crowe, Juli Fraga","nprImageAgency":"Hanna Barczyk for NPR","nprStoryId":"916105564","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=916105564&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/10/17/916105564/helping-hands-need-a-break-too-how-to-lend-support-without-burning-out?ft=nprml&f=916105564","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Sat, 17 Oct 2020 07:00:00 -0400","nprStoryDate":"Sat, 17 Oct 2020 07:00:33 -0400","nprLastModifiedDate":"Sat, 17 Oct 2020 07:00:33 -0400","path":"/news/11842747/helping-hands-need-a-break-too-how-to-lend-support-without-burning-out","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Feeling overwhelmed? Maybe the parent of a preschooler in your family just called to say they need extra help with child care, and a sick neighbor wants to know if you can pick up some groceries for her. Meanwhile, your best friend keeps calling, wanting to vent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In less stressful times, perhaps, you'd have jumped to help out and lend an ear. But after months of social isolation, juggling work demands, and caring for loved ones, the balance has started to tip. Suddenly your own need for emotional support is outweighing your capacity for kindness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's understandable, and OK. If you're feeling numb or overburdened these days in response to another's pain or request for help, that doesn't make you unkind. What you're feeling could instead be what we mental health professionals call \u003ca href=\"https://www.naadac.org/assets/2416/sharon_foley_ac15_militarycultureho2.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\"compassion fatigue.\"\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anxiety, sadness and low self-worth can also be \u003ca href=\"https://www.stress.org/military/for-practitionersleaders/compassion-fatigue\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">symptoms\u003c/a> of this sort of emotional exhaustion, the American Institute of Stress notes in guidance to therapists. Often we associate this \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7356120/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">stress condition\u003c/a> with counselors and other health care workers, but the \u003ca href=\"https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19/compassion-fatigue\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">American Psychological Association \u003c/a>warns that anyone who continually cares for others or who witnesses trauma is also at risk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J189v01n03_03\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Research\u003c/a> shows compassion fatigue \u003ca href=\"https://academic.oup.com/swr/article-abstract/42/1/33/4788592\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">can be successfully treated\u003c/a> — with stress-reduction techniques, such as meditation, as well as with therapy. The key is learning how to recognize the symptoms so that you can get help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the two of us — a psychologist and a social worker — feel like we have \"nothing left to give,\" supporting our own grieving friends or caring for a sick relative can feel like running a marathon with sore muscles. But showing compassion — and avoiding emotional burnout — doesn't have to be painful for therapists or anyone else. As Stanford psychologist \u003ca href=\"https://profiles.stanford.edu/jamil-zaki\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Jamil Zaki\u003c/a> notes in his book \"The War for Kindness,\" \"empathy is a skill we can all strengthen through effort.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here are some exercises we use to keep ourselves fresh that might help you replenish your empathy stores, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842749\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842749\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-1536x863.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-2048x1150.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-4_wide-4e60a6ef51b0d151984731b1047e1fbc53613f8f-1920x1078.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Social workers know 'compassion fatigue' is a risk of the job, and have learned ways stay healthy and empathetic. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Shift your perspective \u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>How we perceive someone's suffering can impact our own well-being. In one \u003ca href=\"https://isiarticles.com/bundles/Article/pre/pdf/122495.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">study,\u003c/a> researchers found that individuals who \u003cem>feel\u003c/em> someone's pain may be more likely to experience distress than those who \u003cem>think\u003c/em> about how the person is feeling. Apparently, when we not only imagine ourselves in the suffering person's shoes but actually feel as they do, the body's stress response gets triggered.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The solution is to get a little \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-04047-3__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzBWPd2zvA%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">psychological distance\u003c/a> between your thoughts and feelings by trying a technique called, \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnsys.2014.00175/full__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzA_3Lh0eA%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\"cognitive reappraisal,\"\u003c/a> which is reframing how you see a stressful situation. \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29384468/__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzA7dBWNMQ%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Research \u003c/a>suggests it can help you diffuse negative emotions, which can make a real difference physically.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For instance, if your dear friend's heartache feels like your own, pause and ask yourself: \"What are some of the different feelings they might be experiencing right now?\" If their sorrow overtakes you, take a few deep breaths, or reach out to them to ask, \"What do you need right now?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Both tactics can help you recognize your friend's point of view, researchers who study empathy say, while \u003ca href=\"https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735811001115__;!!Iwwt!EWBKXuCBnuHkH0U3iRdvvlC4SPHk_dUiVdSlpXvkqjBClQnW26QRpzCDNAIJzg%24\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">tamping down your own stress response\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842750\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842750\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-2048x1152.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-5_wide-de08d7de04954d5b6a4b515b57b3231abe74ab95-1920x1080.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Your acts of kindness don't have to be huge for others to feel nurtured. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Show up in small ways\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>When someone's suffering is immense, it's easy to feel you have to show up in grand ways. When you hear a friend has cancer, for instance, you may feel you need to jump in to set up a meal train, and send daily text messages and flowers. When a coworker loses their home to wildfire or flood, your first impulse may be to organize a fundraiser or a clothing drive. But if you're also struggling to keep your own life and household afloat, these well-meant gestures may be too much for you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The good news: Your acts of kindness don't have to be huge for others to feel nurtured. In a \u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0265407517724600\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">2017 study\u003c/a>, 495 men and women answered a series of questions about what makes them feel loved. Results showed that the participants saw human connection as more meaningful expressions of care than receiving lavish gifts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Start by deciding how much time you can spare, and identify kind acts that sync with your schedule. If you're working full time and helping your children with remote learning, 30 minutes may be your max, and that's OK. Decide on a few gestures, such as sending a handwritten card or a gift certificate for groceries. Or send a text message that says, \"I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm thinking of you.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842751\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842751\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-1536x863.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-2048x1150.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-3_wide-a3f684354ad1ca5b18411fec4f723731a1bad219-1920x1078.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">When we feel compassion fatigue, it's because our desire and ability to help are incompatible. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Practice self-compassion\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>When we feel compassion fatigue, it's because our desire and ability to help are incompatible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If a friend's been in an accident or is seriously ill, for example, you may wish you could drive them to every medical appointment, even though devoting that much time may not be realistic for you. That can set up a negative loop if the guilt and shame of not being able to meet your own standards keeps you from doing anything at all – which only amplifies your feelings of self-loathing. The result: Nobody is helped.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Learn instead to \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.649546\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">start with self-compassion\u003c/a>, which psychologist \u003ca href=\"https://self-compassion.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Kristin Neff\u003c/a> defines as \"personal acceptance, regardless if we succeed or fail.\" That can help \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17439760.2013.831465\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">break this cycle of self-blame\u003c/a> and help deploy your empathy for others. With self-compassion guiding us, we may say: \"At this moment, I accept that I'm exhausted. It's OK to take care of myself,\" or \"I accept that I can't do everything, but I'll help in small ways.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If self-directed kindness is challenging, \u003ca href=\"https://self-compassion.org/exercise-1-treat-friend/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Neff\u003c/a> recommends imagining a friend who's in a dilemma similar to the one you're facing. What advice might you give? You'd probably be kind and understanding, which can serve as a reminder to treat yourself that way, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11842752\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11842752\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-2048x1152.jpg 2048w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/10/compassionfatigue-2_wide-a6b459a95d9fe0fc8946c233cff11a661eb557dd-1920x1080.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">In times of grief, people benefit from the support of a community, research suggests. \u003ccite>(Hanna Barczyk for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>Enlist the help of others\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Showing up for others doesn't mean you have to manage someone's difficulty all by yourself. In times of grief, people \u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29754514/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">benefit from the support of a community\u003c/a>, research suggests. In a \u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29754514/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">study\u003c/a> of 678 bereaved individuals, researchers found that having the support of friends, family and community helpers made a more significant difference than having just one professional's help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, if a lonely neighbor needs company, see if someone in their \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2020/05/17/857531803/the-pros-and-cons-of-social-bubbles\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">social bubble\u003c/a> can pay them a visit that day, or have a tech-savvy friend set up a video chat. Other friends who bake can leave cookies on their doorstep, and those who enjoy writing can pen heartfelt notes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>An online support group is another resource you might help your neighbor tap. Directories like \u003ca href=\"https://www.supportgroupscentral.com/index.cfm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Support Groups Central\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.psychologytoday.com/us\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Psychology Today\u003c/a> provide a list of groups for people coping with depression, anxiety or grief. It can help to connect, even virtually, with a community of people who share the same struggles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During this year of collective suffering, we need each other more than ever. Expressing empathy in small ways, while also extending kindness toward ourselves, can once again \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00223980.2018.1495170?scroll=top&needAccess=true\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">make helping other people feel like a joy\u003c/a>, instead of a burden. And \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/05/05/719780061/from-gloom-to-gratitude-8-skills-to-cultivate-joy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">cultivating joy in your life\u003c/a> can make any burden \u003cem>you're\u003c/em> carrying feel lighter, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Juli Fraga is a psychologist and writer in San Francisco. You can find her on Twitter \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/dr_fraga\">\u003cem>@dr_fraga\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>. Kelsey Crowe teaches social work at California State University and is the author of \u003c/em> \u003ca href=\"https://www.empathybootcamp.com/pages/the-book\">\"There Is No Good Card For This: What To Say And Do When Life Is Scary, Awful And Unfair To People You Love.\"\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Helping+Hands+Need+A+Break%2C+Too%3A+How+To+Lend+Support+Without+Burning+Out&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11842747/helping-hands-need-a-break-too-how-to-lend-support-without-burning-out","authors":["byline_news_11842747"],"categories":["news_457","news_8"],"tags":["news_28680","news_21636","news_27626","news_28683","news_18543","news_28682","news_21423","news_24739"],"featImg":"news_11842748","label":"source_news_11842747"},"news_11809225":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11809225","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11809225","score":null,"sort":[1585348833000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"coronavirus-has-upended-our-world-its-ok-to-grieve","title":"Coronavirus Has Upended Our World. It's OK to Grieve","publishDate":1585348833,"format":"standard","headTitle":"NPR | KQED News","labelTerm":{},"content":"\u003cp>On weekday evenings, sisters Lesley Laine and Lisa Ingle stage online happy hours from the Southern California home they share. It's something they've been enjoying with local and faraway friends during this period of social distancing and self-isolation. And on a recent evening, I shared a toast with them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We laughed and had fun during our half-hour Facetime meetup. But unlike our pre-pandemic visits, we now worried out loud about a lot of things – like our millennial-aged kids: their health and jobs. And what about the fragile elders, the economy? Will life ever return to \"normal?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It feels like a free-fall,\" says \u003ca href=\"https://www.francisweller.net/\">Francis Weller\u003c/a>, a Santa Rosa psychotherapist. \"What we once held as solid is no longer something we can rely upon.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The coronavirus pandemic sweeping the globe has not only left many anxious about life and death issues, it's also left people struggling with a host of less obvious, existential losses as they heed stay-home warnings and wonder how bad all of this is going to get.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To weather these uncertain times, it's important to acknowledge and grieve lost routines, social connections, family structures and our sense of security — and then create new ways to move forward — says interfaith chaplain and trauma counselor \u003ca href=\"https://www.spiritualityandgrief.com/\">Terri Daniel\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size=\"medium\" align=\"right\" citation=\" Francis Weller, a Santa Rosa psychotherapist\"]'Grief is not a problem to be solved. It's a presence in the psyche awaiting, witnessing.'[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We need to recognize that mixed in with all the feelings we're having of anger, disappointment, perhaps rage, blame and powerlessness — is grief,\" says Daniel, who works with the dying and bereaved.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Left unrecognized and unattended, grief can negatively impact \"every aspect of our being — physically, cognitively, emotionally spiritually,\" says \u003ca href=\"https://drsonyalott.com/\">Sonya Lott\u003c/a>, a Philadelphia-based psychologist specializing in grief counseling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yet with our national focus on the daily turn of events as the coronavirus spreads and with the chaos it's brought, these underlying or secondary losses may escape us. People who are physically well may not feel entitled to their emotional upset over the disruption of normal life. Yet, Lott argues, it's important to honor our own losses even if those losses seem small compared to others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We can't heal what we don't have an awareness of,\" says Lott.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Recognize Our Losses\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Whether we've named them are not, these are some of the community-wide losses many of us are grieving. Consider how you feel when you think of these.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Social Connections \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Perhaps the most impactful of the immediate losses as we hunker down at home is the separation from close friends and family. \"Children aren't able to play together. There's no in-person social engagement, no hugging, no touching which is disruptive to our emotional well-being,\" says Daniel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Separation from our colleagues and officemates also creates significant loss. \"Our work environment is like a second family. Even if we don't love all the people we work with, we still depend on each other,\" says Lott.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Habits and Habitat\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>With the world outside our homes no longer safe to inhabit the way we once did, Daniel says we've lost our \"habits and habitats,\" as we can no longer engage in our usual routines and rituals. And no matter how mundane they may have seemed — whether grabbing a morning coffee at the local café, driving to work or picking up the kids from school — routines help define your sense of self in the world. Losing them, Daniel says, \"shocks your system.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Assumptions and Security\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We go to sleep assuming we'll wake up the next morning, \"that the sun will be there and your friends will all be alive and you'll be healthy,\" Weller says. But the spread of the virus has shaken nearly every assumption we once counted on. \"And so we're losing our sense of safety in the world and our assumptions about ourselves,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Trust in Our Systems\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When government leaders, government agencies, medical systems, religious bodies, the stock market and corporations fail to meet public expectations, it can leave citizens feeling betrayed and emotionally unmoored. \"We are all grieving this loss,\" Daniel says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sympathetic Loss for Others\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even if you're not directly affected by a particular loss, you may be feeling the grief of others, including those of displaced workers, of health care workers on the frontlines, of people barred from visiting elderly relatives in nursing homes, of those who have already lost friends and family to the virus and to those who will.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>4 Ways to Honor Your Grief\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Once you identify the losses you're feeling, look for ways to honor the grief surrounding you, grief experts urge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bear Witness and Communicate\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sharing our stories is an essential step, Daniel says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If you can't talk about what's happened to you and you can't share it, you can't really start working on it,\" Daniel says. \"So, communicate with your friends and family about your experience.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It can be as simple as picking up the phone and calling a friend or family member, says Weller. He suggests simply asking for and offering a space in which to share your feelings without either of you offering advice or trying to fix anything for the other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Grief is not a problem to be solved,\" he says. \"It's a presence in the psyche awaiting, witnessing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those with robust social networks, Daniel suggests gathering a group of friends virtually to share these losses together. Using apps, such as Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or Facebook Live, virtual meetups are easy to set up on a daily or weekly basis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Write, Create, Express \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whether you're an extrovert or introvert, keeping a written or recorded journal of these days offers another way to express, to identify and to acknowledge loss and grief.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postID=\"news_11807751\" label=\"Self-Care During Coronavirus\" hero=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2020/03/not-today-covid19-sign-on-wooden-stool-3952231-1020x657.jpg\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then there's art therapy, which can be especially helpful for children unable to express well with words, for teens and even for many adults.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Make a sculpture, draw a picture or create a ceremonial object,\" says Daniel, who often incorporates shamanic ceremonies into grief workshops she conducts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another exercise she often uses in grief workshops is a simple one in which participants use their breath to blow their sadness, fear and anger into a rock that they then throw away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"What this does is takes all that intense, painful energy out of your body and into an inanimate object that they symbolically throw far away from themselves,\" Daniel says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Meditate \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Regular meditation and just taking time to slow down and take several deep, calming breaths throughout the day also works to lower stress and is available to everyone, Lott says. For beginners who want guidance she suggests downloading a meditation app onto your smart phone or computer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Be Open to Joy\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And finally, Lott urges, make sure to let joy and gratitude into your life during these challenging times. Whether it's a virtual happy hour, tea time or dance party, reach out to others, she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If we can find gratitude in the creative ways that we connect with each other and help somebody,\" she says, \"then we can hold our grief better and move through it with less difficulty and more grace.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This story was produced in partnership with Kaiser Health News.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\"> npr.org\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Coronavirus+Has+Upended+Our+World.+It%27s+OK+To+Grieve&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Psychologists say that what a lot of us are feeling these days is, in fact, a form of grief. Here's how to honor that feeling and regain equilibrium as we face an unknown future.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1587494694,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":43,"wordCount":1284},"headData":{"title":"Coronavirus Has Upended Our World. It's OK to Grieve | KQED","description":"Psychologists say that what a lot of us are feeling these days is, in fact, a form of grief. Here's how to honor that feeling and regain equilibrium as we face an unknown future.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11809225 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11809225","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2020/03/27/coronavirus-has-upended-our-world-its-ok-to-grieve/","disqusTitle":"Coronavirus Has Upended Our World. It's OK to Grieve","source":"NPR","sourceUrl":"npr.org","nprByline":"Stephanie O'Neill","nprImageAgency":"Tracy Lee for NPR","nprStoryId":"820304899","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=820304899&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/03/26/820304899/coronavirus-has-upended-our-world-its-ok-to-grieve?ft=nprml&f=820304899","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Fri, 27 Mar 2020 11:12:00 -0400","nprStoryDate":"Thu, 26 Mar 2020 17:08:00 -0400","nprLastModifiedDate":"Fri, 27 Mar 2020 11:12:18 -0400","path":"/news/11809225/coronavirus-has-upended-our-world-its-ok-to-grieve","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>On weekday evenings, sisters Lesley Laine and Lisa Ingle stage online happy hours from the Southern California home they share. It's something they've been enjoying with local and faraway friends during this period of social distancing and self-isolation. And on a recent evening, I shared a toast with them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We laughed and had fun during our half-hour Facetime meetup. But unlike our pre-pandemic visits, we now worried out loud about a lot of things – like our millennial-aged kids: their health and jobs. And what about the fragile elders, the economy? Will life ever return to \"normal?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It feels like a free-fall,\" says \u003ca href=\"https://www.francisweller.net/\">Francis Weller\u003c/a>, a Santa Rosa psychotherapist. \"What we once held as solid is no longer something we can rely upon.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The coronavirus pandemic sweeping the globe has not only left many anxious about life and death issues, it's also left people struggling with a host of less obvious, existential losses as they heed stay-home warnings and wonder how bad all of this is going to get.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To weather these uncertain times, it's important to acknowledge and grieve lost routines, social connections, family structures and our sense of security — and then create new ways to move forward — says interfaith chaplain and trauma counselor \u003ca href=\"https://www.spiritualityandgrief.com/\">Terri Daniel\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'Grief is not a problem to be solved. It's a presence in the psyche awaiting, witnessing.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":" Francis Weller, a Santa Rosa psychotherapist","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We need to recognize that mixed in with all the feelings we're having of anger, disappointment, perhaps rage, blame and powerlessness — is grief,\" says Daniel, who works with the dying and bereaved.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Left unrecognized and unattended, grief can negatively impact \"every aspect of our being — physically, cognitively, emotionally spiritually,\" says \u003ca href=\"https://drsonyalott.com/\">Sonya Lott\u003c/a>, a Philadelphia-based psychologist specializing in grief counseling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yet with our national focus on the daily turn of events as the coronavirus spreads and with the chaos it's brought, these underlying or secondary losses may escape us. People who are physically well may not feel entitled to their emotional upset over the disruption of normal life. Yet, Lott argues, it's important to honor our own losses even if those losses seem small compared to others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We can't heal what we don't have an awareness of,\" says Lott.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Recognize Our Losses\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Whether we've named them are not, these are some of the community-wide losses many of us are grieving. Consider how you feel when you think of these.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Social Connections \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Perhaps the most impactful of the immediate losses as we hunker down at home is the separation from close friends and family. \"Children aren't able to play together. There's no in-person social engagement, no hugging, no touching which is disruptive to our emotional well-being,\" says Daniel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Separation from our colleagues and officemates also creates significant loss. \"Our work environment is like a second family. Even if we don't love all the people we work with, we still depend on each other,\" says Lott.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Habits and Habitat\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>With the world outside our homes no longer safe to inhabit the way we once did, Daniel says we've lost our \"habits and habitats,\" as we can no longer engage in our usual routines and rituals. And no matter how mundane they may have seemed — whether grabbing a morning coffee at the local café, driving to work or picking up the kids from school — routines help define your sense of self in the world. Losing them, Daniel says, \"shocks your system.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Assumptions and Security\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We go to sleep assuming we'll wake up the next morning, \"that the sun will be there and your friends will all be alive and you'll be healthy,\" Weller says. But the spread of the virus has shaken nearly every assumption we once counted on. \"And so we're losing our sense of safety in the world and our assumptions about ourselves,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Trust in Our Systems\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When government leaders, government agencies, medical systems, religious bodies, the stock market and corporations fail to meet public expectations, it can leave citizens feeling betrayed and emotionally unmoored. \"We are all grieving this loss,\" Daniel says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sympathetic Loss for Others\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even if you're not directly affected by a particular loss, you may be feeling the grief of others, including those of displaced workers, of health care workers on the frontlines, of people barred from visiting elderly relatives in nursing homes, of those who have already lost friends and family to the virus and to those who will.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>4 Ways to Honor Your Grief\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Once you identify the losses you're feeling, look for ways to honor the grief surrounding you, grief experts urge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bear Witness and Communicate\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sharing our stories is an essential step, Daniel says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If you can't talk about what's happened to you and you can't share it, you can't really start working on it,\" Daniel says. \"So, communicate with your friends and family about your experience.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It can be as simple as picking up the phone and calling a friend or family member, says Weller. He suggests simply asking for and offering a space in which to share your feelings without either of you offering advice or trying to fix anything for the other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Grief is not a problem to be solved,\" he says. \"It's a presence in the psyche awaiting, witnessing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those with robust social networks, Daniel suggests gathering a group of friends virtually to share these losses together. Using apps, such as Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or Facebook Live, virtual meetups are easy to set up on a daily or weekly basis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Write, Create, Express \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whether you're an extrovert or introvert, keeping a written or recorded journal of these days offers another way to express, to identify and to acknowledge loss and grief.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"news_11807751","label":"Self-Care During Coronavirus ","hero":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2020/03/not-today-covid19-sign-on-wooden-stool-3952231-1020x657.jpg"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then there's art therapy, which can be especially helpful for children unable to express well with words, for teens and even for many adults.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Make a sculpture, draw a picture or create a ceremonial object,\" says Daniel, who often incorporates shamanic ceremonies into grief workshops she conducts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another exercise she often uses in grief workshops is a simple one in which participants use their breath to blow their sadness, fear and anger into a rock that they then throw away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"What this does is takes all that intense, painful energy out of your body and into an inanimate object that they symbolically throw far away from themselves,\" Daniel says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Meditate \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Regular meditation and just taking time to slow down and take several deep, calming breaths throughout the day also works to lower stress and is available to everyone, Lott says. For beginners who want guidance she suggests downloading a meditation app onto your smart phone or computer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Be Open to Joy\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And finally, Lott urges, make sure to let joy and gratitude into your life during these challenging times. Whether it's a virtual happy hour, tea time or dance party, reach out to others, she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If we can find gratitude in the creative ways that we connect with each other and help somebody,\" she says, \"then we can hold our grief better and move through it with less difficulty and more grace.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This story was produced in partnership with Kaiser Health News.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\"> npr.org\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Coronavirus+Has+Upended+Our+World.+It%27s+OK+To+Grieve&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11809225/coronavirus-has-upended-our-world-its-ok-to-grieve","authors":["byline_news_11809225"],"categories":["news_457","news_8"],"tags":["news_27350","news_2109","news_21423","news_27808"],"affiliates":["news_253"],"featImg":"news_11809226","label":"source_news_11809225"},"news_11649547":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11649547","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11649547","score":null,"sort":[1518474435000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"smartphone-detox-how-to-power-down-in-a-wired-world","title":"Smartphone Detox: How to Power Down in a Wired World","publishDate":1518474435,"format":"image","headTitle":"The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{},"content":"\u003cp>If the Russian psychologist Ivan Pavlov were alive today, what would he say about smartphones? He might not think of them as phones at all, but instead as remarkable tools for understanding how technology can manipulate our brains.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pavlov's own findings — from experiments he did more than a century ago, \u003ca href=\"https://www.nobelprize.org/educational/medicine/pavlov/readmore.html\">involving food, buzzers and slobbering dogs\u003c/a> — offer key insights into why our phones have become almost an extension of our bodies, modern researchers say. The findings also provide clues to how we can break our dependence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pavlov originally set off to study canine digestion. But one day, he noticed something peculiar while feeding his dogs. If he played a sound — like a metronome or buzzer — before mealtimes, eventually the sound started to have a special meaning for the animals. It meant food was coming! The dogs actually started drooling when they heard the sound, even if no food was around.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hearing the buzzer had become pleasurable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's exactly what's happening with smartphones, says \u003ca href=\"http://virtual-addiction.com/about-us/\">David Greenfield\u003c/a>, a psychologist and assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Connecticut.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When we hear a ding or little ditty alerting us to a new text, email or Facebook post, cells in our brains likely release dopamine — one of the chemical transmitters in the brain's reward circuitry. That dopamine makes us feel pleasure, Greenfield says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"That ping is telling us there is some type of reward there, waiting for us,\" Greenfield says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over time, that ping can become more powerful than the reward itself. Research on animals suggests dopamine levels in the brain can be twice as high when you anticipate the reward as when you actually receive it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In other words, just hearing the notification can be more pleasurable than the text, email or tweet. \"Smartphone notifications have turned us all into Pavlov's dogs,\" Greenfield says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://www.npr.org/player/embed/584389201/585032374\" width=\"100%\" height=\"290\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" title=\"NPR embedded audio player\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Signs You Might Need to Cut Back\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The average adult checks their phone 50 to 300 times each day, Greenfield says. And smartphones use psychological tricks that encourage our continued high usage — some of the same tricks slot machines use to hook gamblers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"For example, every time you look at your phone, you don't know what you're going to find — how relevant or desirable a message is going to be,\" Greenfield says. \"So you keep checking it over and over again because every once in a while, there's something good there.\" (This is called \u003ca href=\"https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brain-wise/201311/use-unpredictable-rewards-keep-behavior-going\">a variable ratio schedule\u003c/a> of reinforcement. Animal studies suggest it makes dopamine skyrocket in the brain's reward circuitry and is possibly one reason people keep playing slot machines.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A growing number of doctors and psychologists are concerned about our relationship with the phone. There's a debate about what to call the problem. Some say \"disorder\" or \"problematic behavior.\" Others think over-reliance on a smartphone can become a behavioral addiction, like gambling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[contextly_sidebar id=\"njX7g8sD0QkrqXdJDULJSCLfksKplOSf\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's a spectrum disorder,\" says \u003ca href=\"https://profiles.stanford.edu/anna-lembke\">Dr. Anna Lembke\u003c/a>, a psychiatrist at Stanford University, who studies addiction. \"There are mild, moderate and extreme forms.\" And for many people, there's no problem at all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In this way, the phone is kind of like alcohol, Lembke says. Moderate alcohol consumption can be beneficial, for some people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You can make an argument that a temperate amount of smartphone or screen use might be good for people,\" Lembke says. \"So I'm not saying, 'Everybody get rid of their smartphones because they're completely addictive.' But instead, let's be very thoughtful about how we're how we're using these devices, because we can use them in pathological ways.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Signs you might be experiencing problematic use, Lembke says, include these:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Interacting with the device keeps you up late or otherwise interferes with your sleep.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>It reduces the time you have to be with friends or family.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>It interferes with your ability to finish work or homework.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>It causes you to be rude, even subconsciously. \"For instance,\" Lembke asks, \"are you in the middle of having a conversation with someone and just dropping down and scrolling through your phone?\" That's a bad sign.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>It's squelching your creativity. \"I think that's really what people don't realize with their smartphone usage,\" Lembke says. \"It can really deprive you of a kind of seamless flow of creative thought that generates from your own brain.\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch2>Consider a Digital Detox One Day a Week\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.letitripple.org/about/tiffany-shlain/\">Tiffany Shlain\u003c/a>, a San Francisco Bay Area filmmaker, and her family power down all their devices every Friday evening, for a 24-hour period.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's something we look forward to each week,\" Shlain says. She and her husband, \u003ca href=\"http://goldberg.berkeley.edu/\">Ken Goldberg\u003c/a>, a professor in the field of robotics at the University of California, Berkeley, are very tech savvy. But they find they need a break.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"During the week, [we're] like an emotional pinball machine responding to all the external forces,\" Shlain says. The buzzes, beeps, emails, alerts and notifications never end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[contextly_sidebar id=\"CxusGEKMF5T7grXSkHBqSBiJdJgEJ0Lb\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shutting the smartphones off shuts out all those distractions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You're making your time sacred again — reclaiming it,\" Shlain says. \"You stop all the noise.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they started the digital break about nine years ago, which they call \"Tech Shabbat,\" Saturdays suddenly felt very different. The family's not religious, she says, but they love the Jewish Sabbath ritual of setting aside a day for rest or restoration.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The days felt much longer, and we generally feel much more relaxed,\" says Goldberg.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Their daughter, Odessa Shlain Goldberg, a ninth-grader, says the unplugging takes some of the pressure off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's no FOMO — fear of missing out — or seeing what my friends are doing,\" Odessa says. \"It's a family day.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The teen says the perspective she gains from the digital power-down carries over into the rest of the week. For instance, she thinks differently about social media. She realizes the social media feeds often make other people's lives appear more exciting or glamorous.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If you're sitting at home scrolling, you're not having that glamorous experience,\" she says. \"So it feels a little discouraging.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Smartphones Can Compound Teen Angst, But There's a Sweet Spot\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Odessa is definitely not alone in those observations. Social media can amplify the anxieties that come along with adolescence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A recent study of high school students, \u003ca href=\"http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-02758-001\">published\u003c/a> in the journal \u003cem>Emotion\u003c/em>, found that too much time spent on digital devices is linked to lower self-esteem and a decrease in well-being. The survey asked teens how much time they spent — outside of schoolwork — on activities such as texting, gaming, searching the internet or using social media.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[contextly_sidebar id=\"qFdcuTH84RQhsZDmgipLPSbDnCE4ZTOg\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We found teens who spend five or more hours a day online are twice as likely to say they're unhappy,\" compared to those who spend less time plugged in, explains the study's author, \u003ca href=\"http://www.psychology.sdsu.edu/people/jean-twenge/\">Jean Twenge\u003c/a>, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Twenge's research suggests digital abstinence is not good either. Teens who have no access to screens or social media may feel shut out, she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But there may be a sweet spot. According to the survey data, \"the teens who spend a little time — an hour or two hours a day [on their devices] — those are actually the happiest teens,\" Twenge says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At its best, technology connects us to new ideas and people. It makes the world smaller and opens up possibilities.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The ability to connect with people across the world is one of the great benefits,\" Odessa believes. She says she's made some of her friends \"purely online.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We need to wrestle with it more,\" her mother says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Technology is not going away. Our lives are becoming more wired all the time. But Shlain and Odessa say taking a weekly break helps their whole family find a happy medium in dealing with their phones.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Smartphone+Detox%3A+How+To+Power+Down+In+A+Wired+World&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"In an era when many kids get a first smartphone at age 10, psychologists say the devices have turned us into Pavlov's dogs — drooling for the next notification, buzz or text. Ready to dial back?","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1518486535,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":42,"wordCount":1338},"headData":{"title":"Smartphone Detox: How to Power Down in a Wired World | KQED","description":"In an era when many kids get a first smartphone at age 10, psychologists say the devices have turned us into Pavlov's dogs — drooling for the next notification, buzz or text. Ready to dial back?","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11649547 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11649547","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2018/02/12/smartphone-detox-how-to-power-down-in-a-wired-world/","disqusTitle":"Smartphone Detox: How to Power Down in a Wired World","source":"NPR","sourceUrl":"https://www.npr.org/","nprByline":"Allison Aubrey","nprImageAgency":"Ryan Johnson for NPR","nprStoryId":"584389201","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=584389201&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/02/12/584389201/smartphone-detox-how-to-power-down-in-a-wired-world?ft=nprml&f=584389201","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Mon, 12 Feb 2018 14:36:00 -0500","nprStoryDate":"Mon, 12 Feb 2018 05:03:00 -0500","nprLastModifiedDate":"Mon, 12 Feb 2018 14:59:19 -0500","nprAudio":"https://ondemand.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/me/2018/02/20180212_me_smartphone_detox_how_to_power_down_in_a_wired_world.mp3?orgId=1&topicId=1128&d=204&p=3&story=584389201&ft=nprml&f=584389201","nprAudioM3u":"http://api.npr.org/m3u/1585032374-b5b587.m3u?orgId=1&topicId=1128&d=204&p=3&story=584389201&ft=nprml&f=584389201","path":"/news/11649547/smartphone-detox-how-to-power-down-in-a-wired-world","audioUrl":"https://ondemand.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/me/2018/02/20180212_me_smartphone_detox_how_to_power_down_in_a_wired_world.mp3?orgId=1&topicId=1128&d=204&p=3&story=584389201&ft=nprml&f=584389201","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>If the Russian psychologist Ivan Pavlov were alive today, what would he say about smartphones? He might not think of them as phones at all, but instead as remarkable tools for understanding how technology can manipulate our brains.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pavlov's own findings — from experiments he did more than a century ago, \u003ca href=\"https://www.nobelprize.org/educational/medicine/pavlov/readmore.html\">involving food, buzzers and slobbering dogs\u003c/a> — offer key insights into why our phones have become almost an extension of our bodies, modern researchers say. The findings also provide clues to how we can break our dependence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pavlov originally set off to study canine digestion. But one day, he noticed something peculiar while feeding his dogs. If he played a sound — like a metronome or buzzer — before mealtimes, eventually the sound started to have a special meaning for the animals. It meant food was coming! The dogs actually started drooling when they heard the sound, even if no food was around.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hearing the buzzer had become pleasurable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's exactly what's happening with smartphones, says \u003ca href=\"http://virtual-addiction.com/about-us/\">David Greenfield\u003c/a>, a psychologist and assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Connecticut.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When we hear a ding or little ditty alerting us to a new text, email or Facebook post, cells in our brains likely release dopamine — one of the chemical transmitters in the brain's reward circuitry. That dopamine makes us feel pleasure, Greenfield says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"That ping is telling us there is some type of reward there, waiting for us,\" Greenfield says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over time, that ping can become more powerful than the reward itself. Research on animals suggests dopamine levels in the brain can be twice as high when you anticipate the reward as when you actually receive it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In other words, just hearing the notification can be more pleasurable than the text, email or tweet. \"Smartphone notifications have turned us all into Pavlov's dogs,\" Greenfield says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://www.npr.org/player/embed/584389201/585032374\" width=\"100%\" height=\"290\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" title=\"NPR embedded audio player\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Signs You Might Need to Cut Back\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The average adult checks their phone 50 to 300 times each day, Greenfield says. And smartphones use psychological tricks that encourage our continued high usage — some of the same tricks slot machines use to hook gamblers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"For example, every time you look at your phone, you don't know what you're going to find — how relevant or desirable a message is going to be,\" Greenfield says. \"So you keep checking it over and over again because every once in a while, there's something good there.\" (This is called \u003ca href=\"https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brain-wise/201311/use-unpredictable-rewards-keep-behavior-going\">a variable ratio schedule\u003c/a> of reinforcement. Animal studies suggest it makes dopamine skyrocket in the brain's reward circuitry and is possibly one reason people keep playing slot machines.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A growing number of doctors and psychologists are concerned about our relationship with the phone. There's a debate about what to call the problem. Some say \"disorder\" or \"problematic behavior.\" Others think over-reliance on a smartphone can become a behavioral addiction, like gambling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's a spectrum disorder,\" says \u003ca href=\"https://profiles.stanford.edu/anna-lembke\">Dr. Anna Lembke\u003c/a>, a psychiatrist at Stanford University, who studies addiction. \"There are mild, moderate and extreme forms.\" And for many people, there's no problem at all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In this way, the phone is kind of like alcohol, Lembke says. Moderate alcohol consumption can be beneficial, for some people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You can make an argument that a temperate amount of smartphone or screen use might be good for people,\" Lembke says. \"So I'm not saying, 'Everybody get rid of their smartphones because they're completely addictive.' But instead, let's be very thoughtful about how we're how we're using these devices, because we can use them in pathological ways.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Signs you might be experiencing problematic use, Lembke says, include these:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Interacting with the device keeps you up late or otherwise interferes with your sleep.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>It reduces the time you have to be with friends or family.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>It interferes with your ability to finish work or homework.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>It causes you to be rude, even subconsciously. \"For instance,\" Lembke asks, \"are you in the middle of having a conversation with someone and just dropping down and scrolling through your phone?\" That's a bad sign.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>It's squelching your creativity. \"I think that's really what people don't realize with their smartphone usage,\" Lembke says. \"It can really deprive you of a kind of seamless flow of creative thought that generates from your own brain.\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch2>Consider a Digital Detox One Day a Week\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.letitripple.org/about/tiffany-shlain/\">Tiffany Shlain\u003c/a>, a San Francisco Bay Area filmmaker, and her family power down all their devices every Friday evening, for a 24-hour period.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's something we look forward to each week,\" Shlain says. She and her husband, \u003ca href=\"http://goldberg.berkeley.edu/\">Ken Goldberg\u003c/a>, a professor in the field of robotics at the University of California, Berkeley, are very tech savvy. But they find they need a break.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"During the week, [we're] like an emotional pinball machine responding to all the external forces,\" Shlain says. The buzzes, beeps, emails, alerts and notifications never end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shutting the smartphones off shuts out all those distractions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You're making your time sacred again — reclaiming it,\" Shlain says. \"You stop all the noise.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they started the digital break about nine years ago, which they call \"Tech Shabbat,\" Saturdays suddenly felt very different. The family's not religious, she says, but they love the Jewish Sabbath ritual of setting aside a day for rest or restoration.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The days felt much longer, and we generally feel much more relaxed,\" says Goldberg.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Their daughter, Odessa Shlain Goldberg, a ninth-grader, says the unplugging takes some of the pressure off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's no FOMO — fear of missing out — or seeing what my friends are doing,\" Odessa says. \"It's a family day.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The teen says the perspective she gains from the digital power-down carries over into the rest of the week. For instance, she thinks differently about social media. She realizes the social media feeds often make other people's lives appear more exciting or glamorous.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If you're sitting at home scrolling, you're not having that glamorous experience,\" she says. \"So it feels a little discouraging.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Smartphones Can Compound Teen Angst, But There's a Sweet Spot\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Odessa is definitely not alone in those observations. Social media can amplify the anxieties that come along with adolescence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A recent study of high school students, \u003ca href=\"http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-02758-001\">published\u003c/a> in the journal \u003cem>Emotion\u003c/em>, found that too much time spent on digital devices is linked to lower self-esteem and a decrease in well-being. The survey asked teens how much time they spent — outside of schoolwork — on activities such as texting, gaming, searching the internet or using social media.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We found teens who spend five or more hours a day online are twice as likely to say they're unhappy,\" compared to those who spend less time plugged in, explains the study's author, \u003ca href=\"http://www.psychology.sdsu.edu/people/jean-twenge/\">Jean Twenge\u003c/a>, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Twenge's research suggests digital abstinence is not good either. Teens who have no access to screens or social media may feel shut out, she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But there may be a sweet spot. According to the survey data, \"the teens who spend a little time — an hour or two hours a day [on their devices] — those are actually the happiest teens,\" Twenge says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At its best, technology connects us to new ideas and people. It makes the world smaller and opens up possibilities.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The ability to connect with people across the world is one of the great benefits,\" Odessa believes. She says she's made some of her friends \"purely online.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We need to wrestle with it more,\" her mother says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Technology is not going away. Our lives are becoming more wired all the time. But Shlain and Odessa say taking a weekly break helps their whole family find a happy medium in dealing with their phones.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Smartphone+Detox%3A+How+To+Power+Down+In+A+Wired+World&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11649547/smartphone-detox-how-to-power-down-in-a-wired-world","authors":["byline_news_11649547"],"programs":["news_6944","news_72"],"categories":["news_457","news_8","news_248"],"tags":["news_21434","news_21423","news_4950","news_17286"],"affiliates":["news_253"],"featImg":"news_11649548","label":"source_news_11649547"},"news_11611079":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11611079","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11611079","score":null,"sort":[1502955045000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"virtual-reality-unlocks-new-tools-for-facing-your-worst-fears","title":"Virtual Reality Unlocks New Tools for Facing Your Worst Fears","publishDate":1502955045,"format":"audio","headTitle":"The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":72,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>Imagine you’re terrified of dogs. The anxiety has gotten so bad you can’t even enter your best friend’s apartment for fear of his pet chihuahua.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now imagine being stranded alone in a forest with a pack of wild canines charging you from all directions. You're paralyzed by fear -- only it's not real. It just feels that way, because of a virtual reality headset.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A therapist walks you through the scenario. After some counseling, the idea of facing your friend’s lapdog may begin to seem more manageable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New software and the rise of low-cost portable headsets have enabled therapists to start treating phobias and other anxiety-based disorders using virtual reality exposure therapy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We are here at the doorstep of a virtual reality revolution in health care,” said Sean Sullivan, a San Francisco-based psychologist. \"Therapists are leading the way.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sullivan \u003ca href=\"https://blog.limbix.com/vr-is-enriching-my-therapy-practice-e907bdb57d03\">uses VR in his private practice\u003c/a>, and helped develop the software for \u003ca href=\"https://www.limbix.com/vr\">Limbix\u003c/a>, a Silicon Valley startup, where he is the director of psychology.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By stepping patients through a series of immersive experiences that gradually exposes them to their phobias -- be it snakes or public speaking -- they can learn to overcome their fears.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11612529\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-800x491.jpg\" alt=\"Psychologist Sean Sullivan uses VR in his private practice and helped develop the software for Limbix.\" width=\"800\" height=\"491\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-11612529\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-800x491.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-160x98.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-1020x626.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-1180x724.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-960x589.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-240x147.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-375x230.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-520x319.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Psychologist Sean Sullivan uses VR in his private practice and helped develop the software for Limbix. \u003ccite>(Peter Arcuni/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>In the case of dogs, Sullivan says the first step could be walking into a house where a dog lives, but is locked up outside. For many patients, just spending enough time in the virtual environment causes the physiological signs of stress to dissipate. Once they get comfortable in one scenario, they move on to the next challenge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This type of guided exposure also allows therapists to help patients work through the root cause of their fear or anxiety, which is often the memory of a traumatic experience that has spread to everyday situations that pose little objective threat. Over time, exposure therapy can change both the emotional and psychological responses to anxiety-inducing triggers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While the principles of exposure therapy have been around for decades, virtual reality offers unprecedented accessibility. Before VR, a therapist might have to go with a patient on a plane, for example, to help them face a fear of flying.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"To me as a therapist, it’s incredible that now with a four-inch headset that’s comfortable, you can deliver incredible treatments,\" Sullivan said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[contextly_sidebar id=\"y2701HqhGJOSEPhIcGeKM7bihSW94NpV\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A May 2017 article in the \u003ca href=\"https://www.e-mence.org/sites/default/files/domain-39/Maples-Keller%20Use%20VR%20in%20disorders%202017.pdf\">Harvard Review of Psychiatry\u003c/a> shows 20 years of research supporting the use of exposure-based VR interventions for anxiety disorders. A meta-analysis of existing studies showed that results were long-lasting and translated to real world situations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The application of VR-based therapy extends beyond the treatment of phobias to interventions for generalized anxiety, substance abuse and acute pain.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Sullivan, the power of Limbix’s tools is how present patients feel in the environments, which the company films with 360-degree video cameras. It can also pull any 360-degree video from \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzuqhhs6NWbgTzMuM09WKDQ\">YouTube\u003c/a> or tap into Google Maps’ street view feature to transport patients to any number of places, including a busy intersection or childhood home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The first scene, an intersection, could be used to help a patient process a car wreck. And the latter scenario, Sullivan says, could allow therapists to help patients work through early-life trauma. \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the unexpected benefits Sullivan has seen from the \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/30/technology/virtual-reality-limbix-mental-health.html?_r=1\">increasing public awareness\u003c/a> about VR-based therapies, is that more people are reaching out for help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“A lot of people think it’s only about depression or anxiety,” Sullivan said. “But there’s really a whole range of challenges that people face in great numbers, and they’re struggling with it alone, not knowing that there’s help out there.”\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"New software and the rise of low-cost headsets have enabled therapists to start treating phobias and other anxiety-based disorders with VR.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1502934017,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":20,"wordCount":650},"headData":{"title":"Virtual Reality Unlocks New Tools for Facing Your Worst Fears | KQED","description":"New software and the rise of low-cost headsets have enabled therapists to start treating phobias and other anxiety-based disorders with VR.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11611079 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11611079","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2017/08/17/virtual-reality-unlocks-new-tools-for-facing-your-worst-fears/","disqusTitle":"Virtual Reality Unlocks New Tools for Facing Your Worst Fears","audioUrl":"http://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/tcr/2017/08/170809ftcr.mp3","guestFields":"0","path":"/news/11611079/virtual-reality-unlocks-new-tools-for-facing-your-worst-fears","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Imagine you’re terrified of dogs. The anxiety has gotten so bad you can’t even enter your best friend’s apartment for fear of his pet chihuahua.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now imagine being stranded alone in a forest with a pack of wild canines charging you from all directions. You're paralyzed by fear -- only it's not real. It just feels that way, because of a virtual reality headset.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A therapist walks you through the scenario. After some counseling, the idea of facing your friend’s lapdog may begin to seem more manageable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New software and the rise of low-cost portable headsets have enabled therapists to start treating phobias and other anxiety-based disorders using virtual reality exposure therapy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We are here at the doorstep of a virtual reality revolution in health care,” said Sean Sullivan, a San Francisco-based psychologist. \"Therapists are leading the way.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sullivan \u003ca href=\"https://blog.limbix.com/vr-is-enriching-my-therapy-practice-e907bdb57d03\">uses VR in his private practice\u003c/a>, and helped develop the software for \u003ca href=\"https://www.limbix.com/vr\">Limbix\u003c/a>, a Silicon Valley startup, where he is the director of psychology.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By stepping patients through a series of immersive experiences that gradually exposes them to their phobias -- be it snakes or public speaking -- they can learn to overcome their fears.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11612529\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-800x491.jpg\" alt=\"Psychologist Sean Sullivan uses VR in his private practice and helped develop the software for Limbix.\" width=\"800\" height=\"491\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-11612529\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-800x491.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-160x98.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-1020x626.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-1180x724.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-960x589.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-240x147.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-375x230.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2017/08/SeanSullivan-520x319.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Psychologist Sean Sullivan uses VR in his private practice and helped develop the software for Limbix. \u003ccite>(Peter Arcuni/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>In the case of dogs, Sullivan says the first step could be walking into a house where a dog lives, but is locked up outside. For many patients, just spending enough time in the virtual environment causes the physiological signs of stress to dissipate. Once they get comfortable in one scenario, they move on to the next challenge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This type of guided exposure also allows therapists to help patients work through the root cause of their fear or anxiety, which is often the memory of a traumatic experience that has spread to everyday situations that pose little objective threat. Over time, exposure therapy can change both the emotional and psychological responses to anxiety-inducing triggers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While the principles of exposure therapy have been around for decades, virtual reality offers unprecedented accessibility. Before VR, a therapist might have to go with a patient on a plane, for example, to help them face a fear of flying.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"To me as a therapist, it’s incredible that now with a four-inch headset that’s comfortable, you can deliver incredible treatments,\" Sullivan said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A May 2017 article in the \u003ca href=\"https://www.e-mence.org/sites/default/files/domain-39/Maples-Keller%20Use%20VR%20in%20disorders%202017.pdf\">Harvard Review of Psychiatry\u003c/a> shows 20 years of research supporting the use of exposure-based VR interventions for anxiety disorders. A meta-analysis of existing studies showed that results were long-lasting and translated to real world situations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The application of VR-based therapy extends beyond the treatment of phobias to interventions for generalized anxiety, substance abuse and acute pain.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Sullivan, the power of Limbix’s tools is how present patients feel in the environments, which the company films with 360-degree video cameras. It can also pull any 360-degree video from \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzuqhhs6NWbgTzMuM09WKDQ\">YouTube\u003c/a> or tap into Google Maps’ street view feature to transport patients to any number of places, including a busy intersection or childhood home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The first scene, an intersection, could be used to help a patient process a car wreck. And the latter scenario, Sullivan says, could allow therapists to help patients work through early-life trauma. \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the unexpected benefits Sullivan has seen from the \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/30/technology/virtual-reality-limbix-mental-health.html?_r=1\">increasing public awareness\u003c/a> about VR-based therapies, is that more people are reaching out for help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“A lot of people think it’s only about depression or anxiety,” Sullivan said. “But there’s really a whole range of challenges that people face in great numbers, and they’re struggling with it alone, not knowing that there’s help out there.”\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11611079/virtual-reality-unlocks-new-tools-for-facing-your-worst-fears","authors":["11368"],"programs":["news_6944","news_72"],"categories":["news_457","news_8","news_356","news_248"],"tags":["news_2109","news_21423","news_17286","news_20782","news_6813"],"featImg":"news_11612525","label":"news_72"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. 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