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She also co-produces for KQED's bilingual news hub \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/kqedenespanol/\">KQED en Español\u003c/a>.\r\n\r\nLina previously worked for \u003ca href=\"https://kqed.org/arts\">KQED Arts\u003c/a> — supporting audience engagement efforts on the weekly \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/podcasts/rightnowish\">\u003cem>Rightnowish\u003c/em> \u003c/a>podcast, Webby-winning video series \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/if-cities-could-dance\">\u003cem>If Cities Could Dance\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, and daily Arts & Culture reporting. She won a \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pressroom/10884/murrow\">National 2019 Edward R. 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Frary has won six Moth StorySlams, StorySlam Oakland and Westside Stories and has been a featured storyteller on BackPocket Productions, Beyond Borders Storytelling and Six Feet Apart Productions.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>In honor of Day of the Dead and Halloween, he brings us this tale from his childhood in Mendocino County — about spirits, and a couple of mischievous kids.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I had to give up my bedroom to our Super-Sad Grandma when she came to live with us a year after Grandpa died. Us kids never called her that to her face, but always behind her back. Even my parents started calling her Super-Sad Grandma whenever she would stay locked up in my bedroom, which was most days.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My mom would say something like, ”Go tell Super-Sad Grandma that dinner’s ready. I mean, go get your grandmother for dinner.” Grandma was still wearing black dresses every day and she went to church a lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So I got moved into the attic with the slanted ceilings where you could only stand up straight if you were in the middle of the room. It had these exposed, splintery rafters that I kept bumping my head on, and the furnace was up there and it looked like some sort of giant mechanical octopus with all the pipes heading off in different directions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I protested the move at first, because it was creepy up there, but my sisters already shared a room and there was no way Super-Sad Grandma could climb the ladder up to the attic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I was 12 then. And I wasn’t getting along with my sisters. They were some kind of unified front that always voted against me whenever my folks let us choose anything. If I wanted to play Monopoly, they voted for Mystery Date. If I wanted fish sticks for dinner, they said macaroni and cheese. I wanted a dog … they made us get a cat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I felt isolated and outnumbered.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So the greatest day of my life was when my cousin Dennis’ parents got divorced. I don’t mean that like it sounds. I’m sure it was terribly sad for them and for him, too, but his parents were so flat broke and each of them was trying to figure out their own lives, that neither his mom or his dad could take him with them yet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I begged my parents to let Dennis live with us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He was my age and he was the closest thing I had in the world to a brother. The day he climbed that creaky ladder into the attic, it was like winning the lottery.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11930944\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Paddy-Caps.jpeg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11930944\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Paddy-Caps-800x781.jpeg\" alt=\"A vintage photo of two boys. The boy on the left has his arm around the boy on the right.\" width=\"800\" height=\"781\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Paddy-Caps-800x781.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Paddy-Caps-160x156.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Paddy-Caps.jpeg 985w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Cousins Dennis Goebel (left) and JP Frary wearing the 'Paddy caps' their grandparents brought back from Ireland, circa 1977. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of JP Frary)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>We went everywhere together, riding bikes through the orchard to talk with neighbor girls who smoked cigarettes and catching a bunch of crawdads in the Russian River and letting them all go in the same deep pool to see if they’d fight. Sometimes we’d even outvote my sisters and get to watch a Western or professional wrestling on the TV. It was the answer to my prayers — to have an instant brother.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Every night, we’d lie in our beds up in the attic and talk and talk and talk until one of us fell asleep. There was a furnace pipe that ran right next to Dennis’ bed, and one night, long after we’d been yelled at to go to sleep for the fifth time, he cocked his head and said, “I can hear Johnny Carson.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My parents were in the living room watching TV, and the furnace pipe next to Dennis’ bed led directly to a vent over the couch they were sitting on. The two of us put our ears against the metal furnace pipe and we could make out every word Johnny was saying. His guest that night was Robin Williams. We stayed glued at the hip with our heads on the furnace pipe until the closing music.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, we went from pipe to pipe to pipe putting our ears up against them. We could hear into every room in the entire house. We listened to my sister talk on the phone in the kitchen. We listened to my mom and dad argue about whether or not to buy a second car. And we listened to Super-Sad Grandma whispering words we could not make out at all, until we realized just by the rhythm that she was saying the Rosary prayer over and over: “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee … ”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At first, we just listened, to listen. But being 12-year-old boys, it quickly escalated to full-on spying. It became our evening entertainment. We both learned about menstruation from listening to my mom explain what was going on to my younger sister’s body to her, but we couldn’t let on that we knew she had just gotten her first period.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because we were spies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tracing the pipes back to the furnace, we saw that each pipe had a big sliding gate before it attached to the metal housing. And we realized that you could pull the door open on this gate and, not only was the sound clearer, but you could send sound the other way, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So Dennis could be down in the kitchen getting us root beers and I could say into the pipe, “Get Ding Dongs and corn chips, too.” And he could hear me. It became a big game where we were talking to each other all over the house without anyone knowing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11930945\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/JP-and-Dennis-in-kitchen-e1667417652569.jpeg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11930945\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/JP-and-Dennis-in-kitchen-e1667417652569-800x1181.jpeg\" alt=\"Two young men wearing white shirts in a kitchen with one holding a cooking tool in a bowl.\" width=\"800\" height=\"1181\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/JP-and-Dennis-in-kitchen-e1667417652569-800x1181.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/JP-and-Dennis-in-kitchen-e1667417652569-160x236.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/JP-and-Dennis-in-kitchen-e1667417652569.jpeg 996w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The author (left) and his cousin/best friend, Dennis Goebel, causing trouble in the kitchen, circa 1980. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of JP Frary)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>It was the week before Halloween and the whole family, except Super-Sad Grandma, was watching “Night of the Living Dead,” when my older sister just out of the blue said she didn’t believe in ghosts or zombies. The way she said it, it was like she was saying that Dennis and I \u003cem>did\u003c/em> believe in ghosts or zombies. I made eye contact with him, and I think we both had the same idea at exactly the same time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the movie was over, Dennis and I went straight up the ladder and right to the pipe that connects to my sisters’ room and listened in. We waited until we thought we heard my sisters get in bed, and once we didn’t hear them moving around, we started making moaning ghost sounds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Ooooh. Oooooooh,” we moaned, and then we listened. But we didn’t hear anything. So we made more sounds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Ooooh. Oooh,” we tried again, and then we listened. But we didn’t hear them scream or anything.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And I don’t know where it came from, but I started whispering really loudly, “I’m waiting for you. I’m waaaaaitinnnng for yooooouu!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We went on and on for 20 minutes and there was no reaction from their room. And that’s when I noticed that the furnace pipe door to my old bedroom, which was now Super-Sad Grandma’s, was also open. We had been sending ghost sounds to her, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I snuck down the ladder and saw my sisters at the dining room table sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of my mom, who was braiding their hair. So they weren’t even in their room. And I looked at my old bedroom door, but it was shut and I couldn’t see any light coming from underneath. So I just crept back up the ladder.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11930946\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-scaled.jpeg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11930946\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-800x1165.jpeg\" alt=\"A woman wearing glasses and black shirt with a white collar has her hands on a man wearing glasses wearing a white sweater.\" width=\"800\" height=\"1165\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-800x1165.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-1020x1485.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-160x233.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-1055x1536.jpeg 1055w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-1407x2048.jpeg 1407w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-scaled.jpeg 1758w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The author’s grandparents, Evelyn and Bob Hunt. Their love for each other spans this world and the next, circa late 1970s. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of JP Frary)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The next morning at breakfast, Super-Sad Grandma wasn’t wearing a black dress. She had on regular grandma clothes. And she looked a lot less sad somehow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My dad asked her how she was feeling, and she said, “I finally got an answer back from Grandpa. He said he will wait for me.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To this day I don’t know if she knew it was me and my cousin Dennis and not Grandpa, speaking to her from the great beyond. But I do know she never wore black again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"In honor of Day of the Dead and Halloween, storyteller JP Frary shares a tale from his childhood in Mendocino County — about spirits, and a couple of mischievous kids.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1667593112,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":31,"wordCount":1469},"headData":{"title":"How a Childhood Prank Accidentally Helped My Newly Widowed Grandmother Face Her Grief | KQED","description":"In honor of Day of the Dead and Halloween, storyteller JP Frary shares a tale from his childhood in Mendocino County — about spirits, and a couple of mischievous kids.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11930939 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11930939","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2022/11/04/how-a-childhood-prank-accidentally-helped-my-newly-widowed-grandmother-face-her-grief/","disqusTitle":"How a Childhood Prank Accidentally Helped My Newly Widowed Grandmother Face Her Grief","audioUrl":"https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/0af137ef-751e-4b19-a055-aaef00d2d578/ffca7e9f-6831-41c5-bcaf-aaef00f5a073/592c226f-bed6-403c-88e8-af43014bc83d/audio.mp3","nprByline":"JP Frary","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","path":"/news/11930939/how-a-childhood-prank-accidentally-helped-my-newly-widowed-grandmother-face-her-grief","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>JP Frary is a storyteller and woodworker who creates art in a studio on the old Naval air base in Alameda. Frary has won six Moth StorySlams, StorySlam Oakland and Westside Stories and has been a featured storyteller on BackPocket Productions, Beyond Borders Storytelling and Six Feet Apart Productions.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>In honor of Day of the Dead and Halloween, he brings us this tale from his childhood in Mendocino County — about spirits, and a couple of mischievous kids.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I had to give up my bedroom to our Super-Sad Grandma when she came to live with us a year after Grandpa died. Us kids never called her that to her face, but always behind her back. Even my parents started calling her Super-Sad Grandma whenever she would stay locked up in my bedroom, which was most days.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My mom would say something like, ”Go tell Super-Sad Grandma that dinner’s ready. I mean, go get your grandmother for dinner.” Grandma was still wearing black dresses every day and she went to church a lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So I got moved into the attic with the slanted ceilings where you could only stand up straight if you were in the middle of the room. It had these exposed, splintery rafters that I kept bumping my head on, and the furnace was up there and it looked like some sort of giant mechanical octopus with all the pipes heading off in different directions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I protested the move at first, because it was creepy up there, but my sisters already shared a room and there was no way Super-Sad Grandma could climb the ladder up to the attic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I was 12 then. And I wasn’t getting along with my sisters. They were some kind of unified front that always voted against me whenever my folks let us choose anything. If I wanted to play Monopoly, they voted for Mystery Date. If I wanted fish sticks for dinner, they said macaroni and cheese. I wanted a dog … they made us get a cat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I felt isolated and outnumbered.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So the greatest day of my life was when my cousin Dennis’ parents got divorced. I don’t mean that like it sounds. I’m sure it was terribly sad for them and for him, too, but his parents were so flat broke and each of them was trying to figure out their own lives, that neither his mom or his dad could take him with them yet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I begged my parents to let Dennis live with us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He was my age and he was the closest thing I had in the world to a brother. The day he climbed that creaky ladder into the attic, it was like winning the lottery.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11930944\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Paddy-Caps.jpeg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11930944\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Paddy-Caps-800x781.jpeg\" alt=\"A vintage photo of two boys. The boy on the left has his arm around the boy on the right.\" width=\"800\" height=\"781\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Paddy-Caps-800x781.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Paddy-Caps-160x156.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Paddy-Caps.jpeg 985w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Cousins Dennis Goebel (left) and JP Frary wearing the 'Paddy caps' their grandparents brought back from Ireland, circa 1977. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of JP Frary)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>We went everywhere together, riding bikes through the orchard to talk with neighbor girls who smoked cigarettes and catching a bunch of crawdads in the Russian River and letting them all go in the same deep pool to see if they’d fight. Sometimes we’d even outvote my sisters and get to watch a Western or professional wrestling on the TV. It was the answer to my prayers — to have an instant brother.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Every night, we’d lie in our beds up in the attic and talk and talk and talk until one of us fell asleep. There was a furnace pipe that ran right next to Dennis’ bed, and one night, long after we’d been yelled at to go to sleep for the fifth time, he cocked his head and said, “I can hear Johnny Carson.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My parents were in the living room watching TV, and the furnace pipe next to Dennis’ bed led directly to a vent over the couch they were sitting on. The two of us put our ears against the metal furnace pipe and we could make out every word Johnny was saying. His guest that night was Robin Williams. We stayed glued at the hip with our heads on the furnace pipe until the closing music.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, we went from pipe to pipe to pipe putting our ears up against them. We could hear into every room in the entire house. We listened to my sister talk on the phone in the kitchen. We listened to my mom and dad argue about whether or not to buy a second car. And we listened to Super-Sad Grandma whispering words we could not make out at all, until we realized just by the rhythm that she was saying the Rosary prayer over and over: “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee … ”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At first, we just listened, to listen. But being 12-year-old boys, it quickly escalated to full-on spying. It became our evening entertainment. We both learned about menstruation from listening to my mom explain what was going on to my younger sister’s body to her, but we couldn’t let on that we knew she had just gotten her first period.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because we were spies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tracing the pipes back to the furnace, we saw that each pipe had a big sliding gate before it attached to the metal housing. And we realized that you could pull the door open on this gate and, not only was the sound clearer, but you could send sound the other way, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So Dennis could be down in the kitchen getting us root beers and I could say into the pipe, “Get Ding Dongs and corn chips, too.” And he could hear me. It became a big game where we were talking to each other all over the house without anyone knowing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11930945\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/JP-and-Dennis-in-kitchen-e1667417652569.jpeg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11930945\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/JP-and-Dennis-in-kitchen-e1667417652569-800x1181.jpeg\" alt=\"Two young men wearing white shirts in a kitchen with one holding a cooking tool in a bowl.\" width=\"800\" height=\"1181\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/JP-and-Dennis-in-kitchen-e1667417652569-800x1181.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/JP-and-Dennis-in-kitchen-e1667417652569-160x236.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/JP-and-Dennis-in-kitchen-e1667417652569.jpeg 996w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The author (left) and his cousin/best friend, Dennis Goebel, causing trouble in the kitchen, circa 1980. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of JP Frary)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>It was the week before Halloween and the whole family, except Super-Sad Grandma, was watching “Night of the Living Dead,” when my older sister just out of the blue said she didn’t believe in ghosts or zombies. The way she said it, it was like she was saying that Dennis and I \u003cem>did\u003c/em> believe in ghosts or zombies. I made eye contact with him, and I think we both had the same idea at exactly the same time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the movie was over, Dennis and I went straight up the ladder and right to the pipe that connects to my sisters’ room and listened in. We waited until we thought we heard my sisters get in bed, and once we didn’t hear them moving around, we started making moaning ghost sounds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Ooooh. Oooooooh,” we moaned, and then we listened. But we didn’t hear anything. So we made more sounds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Ooooh. Oooh,” we tried again, and then we listened. But we didn’t hear them scream or anything.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And I don’t know where it came from, but I started whispering really loudly, “I’m waiting for you. I’m waaaaaitinnnng for yooooouu!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We went on and on for 20 minutes and there was no reaction from their room. And that’s when I noticed that the furnace pipe door to my old bedroom, which was now Super-Sad Grandma’s, was also open. We had been sending ghost sounds to her, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I snuck down the ladder and saw my sisters at the dining room table sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of my mom, who was braiding their hair. So they weren’t even in their room. And I looked at my old bedroom door, but it was shut and I couldn’t see any light coming from underneath. So I just crept back up the ladder.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11930946\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-scaled.jpeg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11930946\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-800x1165.jpeg\" alt=\"A woman wearing glasses and black shirt with a white collar has her hands on a man wearing glasses wearing a white sweater.\" width=\"800\" height=\"1165\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-800x1165.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-1020x1485.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-160x233.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-1055x1536.jpeg 1055w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-1407x2048.jpeg 1407w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/11/Bob-and-Evelyn-Hunt-scaled.jpeg 1758w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The author’s grandparents, Evelyn and Bob Hunt. Their love for each other spans this world and the next, circa late 1970s. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of JP Frary)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The next morning at breakfast, Super-Sad Grandma wasn’t wearing a black dress. She had on regular grandma clothes. And she looked a lot less sad somehow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My dad asked her how she was feeling, and she said, “I finally got an answer back from Grandpa. He said he will wait for me.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To this day I don’t know if she knew it was me and my cousin Dennis and not Grandpa, speaking to her from the great beyond. But I do know she never wore black again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11930939/how-a-childhood-prank-accidentally-helped-my-newly-widowed-grandmother-face-her-grief","authors":["byline_news_11930939"],"programs":["news_72","news_26731"],"categories":["news_8"],"tags":["news_20132","news_18143","news_30128","news_31944","news_31943","news_30233"],"featImg":"news_11930943","label":"news_26731"},"news_11923381":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11923381","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11923381","score":null,"sort":[1661373592000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"they-make-me-smile-inside-the-power-of-family-heirlooms-to-keep-loved-ones-close","title":"'They Make Me Smile Inside': The Power of Family Heirlooms to Keep Loved Ones Close","publishDate":1661373592,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>Recently, KQED Forum asked listeners: \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/2010101889960/family-heirlooms-unexpected-and-traditional-and-what-they-mean-to-us\">Do you have a treasured possession from your family?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"What's an object you treasure, that you'd be devastated if you lost?\" asked host Mina Kim. \"Maybe a family heirloom — a portrait, a wedding dress, a chess set linking generations — that speaks to who our families are? Or maybe something you're hoping to pass down someday?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The answers resulted in a conversation between Kim, New Yorker magazine staff writer Hua Hsu and visual artist Ari Bird about \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/2010101889960/family-heirlooms-unexpected-and-traditional-and-what-they-mean-to-us\">the significance of heirlooms\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bird noted that sometimes the objects that become heirlooms are unexpected, saying, \"These are objects that their loved ones actually used, and maybe they didn't intend necessarily for those to be the heirlooms right there.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Those are, I think, the objects that many of us are drawn to — that have that meaning,\" said Bird.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One listener, Ian, commented on KQED Forum's Instagram that his abuela gifted him her brother's stamp collection. It had stamps from all over the Americas and some from Europe, dating back through the 1930s.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another listener, Beth, wrote that her favorite heirlooms were her dad's fountain pen and his bamboo fly-fishing rod. She wrote that those had previously been gifted to her father himself when he graduated university during the Great Depression.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We ultimately received so many answers about family heirlooms from listeners that they couldn’t all fit into \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/2010101889960/family-heirlooms-unexpected-and-traditional-and-what-they-mean-to-us\">the hour-long KQED Forum show\u003c/a>, so we’ve compiled more of your stories here.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A clear through line in all the responses? It's that our heirlooms, no matter how big or small, can help us feel closer to a loved one who is no longer with us — something that's often totally disconnected from the actual monetary worth of an object. Or as KQED Forum listener Cassandra put it: \"Isn't it funny that our most valued objects have little value?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Submissions have been lightly edited for length and clarity.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11923438\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11923438\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/08/pexels-suzy-hazelwood-1157151.jpg\" alt=\"A handwritten letter lies on a table, with a stack of blue-toned envelopes -- presumably containing more letters -- in the background, tied with twine.\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1127\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/08/pexels-suzy-hazelwood-1157151.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/08/pexels-suzy-hazelwood-1157151-800x470.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/08/pexels-suzy-hazelwood-1157151-1020x599.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/08/pexels-suzy-hazelwood-1157151-160x94.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/08/pexels-suzy-hazelwood-1157151-1536x902.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">From letters and jewelry to clothing and furniture, you shared your treasured family heirlooms with us. \u003ccite>(Suzy Hazelwood/Pexels)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>As I grew up, I always loved a ring my grandmother wore with multiple diamonds. When she passed, it was going to be broken up so that my half-sisters could each have a piece of it. They voted, unbeknownst to me, that since I was the oldest girl, I should receive it.\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation=\"KQED Forum listener Sparrow\"]'When my dad passed away, I got a gold coin and a chain from him, and I never took it off. It stays right over my heart.'[/pullquote]\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I cry twice when I see it sparkle — once missing my grandmother and thinking of memories — sometimes laughing. And twice at the generosity of my sisters. \u003cstrong>\u003cem>— Anonymous\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I have two cherished heirlooms from my late mother: her wedding and engagement rings. I wear these only for the Christmas holiday. My mother wore her wedding band often, but rarely wore her one-carat diamond engagement band. I once asked her why and she thought it was \"too much.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My mother had a signature scent and it was called Blue Grass. She only wore it when she and my father went out, which wasn't very often. After she passed away, I made sure to take her (almost full) bottle of this cologne, which I still have over 20 years after her passing. \u003cstrong>\u003cem>— Susie\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the early '60s, my father managed a machine shop. Once to thank him, the owner gave him a gold diamond ring. My dad appreciated it but would never wear it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I was 16, I asked my dad for it. He was happy to have to give it to me. I put it on my finger then and I have been wearing it ever since, now as a reminder of my father, who was the most wonderful dad ever. \u003cstrong>\u003cem>— Martin\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My grandma, Ruth Murillo, was an avid crocheter and used to make everyone a very intricate mantle as a wedding gift. She stopped when her eyesight worsened and her hands got tired. But she made an exception for my wedding in 2014. She has since passed, but I hope to pass my mantle to my children to show her amazing craftsmanship.\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation=\"KQED Forum listener Marina, on their grandmother's wedding ring\"]'I wear it every day because I will remember her life, even when she doesn’t.'[/pullquote]\u003c/span>I’m a designer at Levi’s that works on women’s 501s [jeans]. I recently had my initials embroidered onto my personal favorite pair of 501s, as a way to celebrate my success at this company and in this industry. These jeans will be passed on to my kids once they don’t fit anymore. And with proper care, they’ll be worn by generations to come. \u003cem>\u003cstrong>— Marisela\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My grandmother had some beautiful silver that had been passed down to her. I loved to go underneath her bed and look at it, and one day she taught me how to polish it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My mom gifted it to me and I cherish it. It reminds me of my childhood, and the joy my grandmother showed when she taught me about all the different pieces. Also, when my dad passed away, I got a gold coin and a chain from him, and I never took it off. It stays right over my heart.\u003cem>\u003cstrong> — Sparrow\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I wear my grandmother's wedding ring every day. In a moment of lucidity a few years ago, before her Alzheimer’s got really bad, she slipped it on my finger and asked me to keep it safe after she was gone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It is the only object she kept since the day she received it. I wear it every day because I will remember her life, even when she doesn’t.\u003cstrong> — \u003cem>Marina\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My grandfather went to the Cleveland School of Art in 1914 and made a living in commercial graphic art. So we have various items that he made that are loved by our family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For instance, a plaster cast of my mother's hand when she was about 5 years old. Also two diaries that he and his wife-to-be kept for five years apart, including through his time in WWI, when he was working in a Base Hospital Unit in Rouen, France. And a pastel portrait of him made by a French artist acquaintance of his during that time. \u003cem>\u003cstrong>— John \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My mother, Irma Maidenberg, was an amateur artist in a small Indiana town. She was inspired by the greats — Picasso, Miró, Klee — in creating whimsical figurines. People saw them and fell in love with them.\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation=\"KQED Forum listener Reed, on their mother's artworks\"]'They make me smile inside, and I love sharing them with visitors. They convey a sense of joy and whimsy she embodied in her life.'[/pullquote]\u003c/span>She made hundreds and I have many. They make me smile inside, and I love sharing them with visitors. They convey a sense of joy and whimsy she embodied in her life. \u003cstrong>\u003cem>— Reed\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My husband died young, at age 47. We discussed what he wanted to keep for our daughter. But something so surprising and wonderful is that I opened his closet and garage to friends.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I love to hear that they wore his cuff links to a wedding, or took his ski jacket or bike gear on a far-flung trip. And I know that those friends feel it, too. \u003cem>\u003cstrong>— Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My father moved our family to California from Rhode Island in 1955. I was 8 years old and heartbroken at leaving my grandparents and aunts behind. When I got to California, I started writing letters to my grandmother. I kept the letters she sent back to me. She died in 1965, and I flew back to Rhode Island for the funeral. When I was there, I found she had saved the letters I had written to her, and I took them home to California.\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[pullquote size='medium' align='right' citation=\"Anonymous KQED Forum listener, on gifting their husband's possessions to friends\"]'I love to hear that they wore his cuff links to a wedding, or took his ski jacket or bike gear on a far-flung trip. And I know that those friends feel it, too.'[/pullquote]\u003c/span>I still have that correspondence and it has prompted me to keep a journal for my 2-year-old granddaughter. I hope she'll treasure this as much as I've treasured the correspondence between me and my grandmother. \u003cstrong>\u003cem>—\u003c/em>\u003c/strong> \u003cem>\u003cstrong>Pat\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My mom passed away in December 2020 in Germany. I had little time to choose what I wanted to keep and pack things up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I took what was closest to my heart, her favorite cups, books, photos, her notebooks and the stuff passed down by previous generations. Then I invited my mom's friends and family to take what they wanted to remember her, followed by neighbors and friends to take what they needed. \u003cem>\u003cstrong>—\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I have brought back from France the lamp my mother kept on her bedside table. It was one of the gifts she and my father received when they got married in 1943. Because of the war, it is made out of wood — not metal or pottery.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I replaced the shade. I have it now in my living room, enjoying its soft light and remembering both of my parents. \u003cstrong>\u003cem>— Genevieve\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"KQED Forum listeners share their most treasured possessions passed down by family.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1661378222,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":33,"wordCount":1619},"headData":{"title":"'They Make Me Smile Inside': The Power of Family Heirlooms to Keep Loved Ones Close | KQED","description":"KQED Forum listeners share their most treasured possessions passed down by family.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11923381 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11923381","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2022/08/24/they-make-me-smile-inside-the-power-of-family-heirlooms-to-keep-loved-ones-close/","disqusTitle":"'They Make Me Smile Inside': The Power of Family Heirlooms to Keep Loved Ones Close","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","path":"/news/11923381/they-make-me-smile-inside-the-power-of-family-heirlooms-to-keep-loved-ones-close","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Recently, KQED Forum asked listeners: \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/2010101889960/family-heirlooms-unexpected-and-traditional-and-what-they-mean-to-us\">Do you have a treasured possession from your family?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"What's an object you treasure, that you'd be devastated if you lost?\" asked host Mina Kim. \"Maybe a family heirloom — a portrait, a wedding dress, a chess set linking generations — that speaks to who our families are? Or maybe something you're hoping to pass down someday?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The answers resulted in a conversation between Kim, New Yorker magazine staff writer Hua Hsu and visual artist Ari Bird about \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/2010101889960/family-heirlooms-unexpected-and-traditional-and-what-they-mean-to-us\">the significance of heirlooms\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bird noted that sometimes the objects that become heirlooms are unexpected, saying, \"These are objects that their loved ones actually used, and maybe they didn't intend necessarily for those to be the heirlooms right there.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Those are, I think, the objects that many of us are drawn to — that have that meaning,\" said Bird.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One listener, Ian, commented on KQED Forum's Instagram that his abuela gifted him her brother's stamp collection. It had stamps from all over the Americas and some from Europe, dating back through the 1930s.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another listener, Beth, wrote that her favorite heirlooms were her dad's fountain pen and his bamboo fly-fishing rod. She wrote that those had previously been gifted to her father himself when he graduated university during the Great Depression.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We ultimately received so many answers about family heirlooms from listeners that they couldn’t all fit into \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/2010101889960/family-heirlooms-unexpected-and-traditional-and-what-they-mean-to-us\">the hour-long KQED Forum show\u003c/a>, so we’ve compiled more of your stories here.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A clear through line in all the responses? It's that our heirlooms, no matter how big or small, can help us feel closer to a loved one who is no longer with us — something that's often totally disconnected from the actual monetary worth of an object. Or as KQED Forum listener Cassandra put it: \"Isn't it funny that our most valued objects have little value?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Submissions have been lightly edited for length and clarity.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11923438\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11923438\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/08/pexels-suzy-hazelwood-1157151.jpg\" alt=\"A handwritten letter lies on a table, with a stack of blue-toned envelopes -- presumably containing more letters -- in the background, tied with twine.\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1127\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/08/pexels-suzy-hazelwood-1157151.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/08/pexels-suzy-hazelwood-1157151-800x470.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/08/pexels-suzy-hazelwood-1157151-1020x599.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/08/pexels-suzy-hazelwood-1157151-160x94.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2022/08/pexels-suzy-hazelwood-1157151-1536x902.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">From letters and jewelry to clothing and furniture, you shared your treasured family heirlooms with us. \u003ccite>(Suzy Hazelwood/Pexels)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>As I grew up, I always loved a ring my grandmother wore with multiple diamonds. When she passed, it was going to be broken up so that my half-sisters could each have a piece of it. They voted, unbeknownst to me, that since I was the oldest girl, I should receive it.\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'When my dad passed away, I got a gold coin and a chain from him, and I never took it off. It stays right over my heart.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"KQED Forum listener Sparrow","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I cry twice when I see it sparkle — once missing my grandmother and thinking of memories — sometimes laughing. And twice at the generosity of my sisters. \u003cstrong>\u003cem>— Anonymous\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I have two cherished heirlooms from my late mother: her wedding and engagement rings. I wear these only for the Christmas holiday. My mother wore her wedding band often, but rarely wore her one-carat diamond engagement band. I once asked her why and she thought it was \"too much.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My mother had a signature scent and it was called Blue Grass. She only wore it when she and my father went out, which wasn't very often. After she passed away, I made sure to take her (almost full) bottle of this cologne, which I still have over 20 years after her passing. \u003cstrong>\u003cem>— Susie\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the early '60s, my father managed a machine shop. Once to thank him, the owner gave him a gold diamond ring. My dad appreciated it but would never wear it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I was 16, I asked my dad for it. He was happy to have to give it to me. I put it on my finger then and I have been wearing it ever since, now as a reminder of my father, who was the most wonderful dad ever. \u003cstrong>\u003cem>— Martin\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My grandma, Ruth Murillo, was an avid crocheter and used to make everyone a very intricate mantle as a wedding gift. She stopped when her eyesight worsened and her hands got tired. But she made an exception for my wedding in 2014. She has since passed, but I hope to pass my mantle to my children to show her amazing craftsmanship.\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'I wear it every day because I will remember her life, even when she doesn’t.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"KQED Forum listener Marina, on their grandmother's wedding ring","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/span>I’m a designer at Levi’s that works on women’s 501s [jeans]. I recently had my initials embroidered onto my personal favorite pair of 501s, as a way to celebrate my success at this company and in this industry. These jeans will be passed on to my kids once they don’t fit anymore. And with proper care, they’ll be worn by generations to come. \u003cem>\u003cstrong>— Marisela\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My grandmother had some beautiful silver that had been passed down to her. I loved to go underneath her bed and look at it, and one day she taught me how to polish it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My mom gifted it to me and I cherish it. It reminds me of my childhood, and the joy my grandmother showed when she taught me about all the different pieces. Also, when my dad passed away, I got a gold coin and a chain from him, and I never took it off. It stays right over my heart.\u003cem>\u003cstrong> — Sparrow\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I wear my grandmother's wedding ring every day. In a moment of lucidity a few years ago, before her Alzheimer’s got really bad, she slipped it on my finger and asked me to keep it safe after she was gone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It is the only object she kept since the day she received it. I wear it every day because I will remember her life, even when she doesn’t.\u003cstrong> — \u003cem>Marina\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My grandfather went to the Cleveland School of Art in 1914 and made a living in commercial graphic art. So we have various items that he made that are loved by our family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For instance, a plaster cast of my mother's hand when she was about 5 years old. Also two diaries that he and his wife-to-be kept for five years apart, including through his time in WWI, when he was working in a Base Hospital Unit in Rouen, France. And a pastel portrait of him made by a French artist acquaintance of his during that time. \u003cem>\u003cstrong>— John \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My mother, Irma Maidenberg, was an amateur artist in a small Indiana town. She was inspired by the greats — Picasso, Miró, Klee — in creating whimsical figurines. People saw them and fell in love with them.\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'They make me smile inside, and I love sharing them with visitors. They convey a sense of joy and whimsy she embodied in her life.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"KQED Forum listener Reed, on their mother's artworks","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/span>She made hundreds and I have many. They make me smile inside, and I love sharing them with visitors. They convey a sense of joy and whimsy she embodied in her life. \u003cstrong>\u003cem>— Reed\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My husband died young, at age 47. We discussed what he wanted to keep for our daughter. But something so surprising and wonderful is that I opened his closet and garage to friends.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I love to hear that they wore his cuff links to a wedding, or took his ski jacket or bike gear on a far-flung trip. And I know that those friends feel it, too. \u003cem>\u003cstrong>— Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My father moved our family to California from Rhode Island in 1955. I was 8 years old and heartbroken at leaving my grandparents and aunts behind. When I got to California, I started writing letters to my grandmother. I kept the letters she sent back to me. She died in 1965, and I flew back to Rhode Island for the funeral. When I was there, I found she had saved the letters I had written to her, and I took them home to California.\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'I love to hear that they wore his cuff links to a wedding, or took his ski jacket or bike gear on a far-flung trip. And I know that those friends feel it, too.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Anonymous KQED Forum listener, on gifting their husband's possessions to friends","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/span>I still have that correspondence and it has prompted me to keep a journal for my 2-year-old granddaughter. I hope she'll treasure this as much as I've treasured the correspondence between me and my grandmother. \u003cstrong>\u003cem>—\u003c/em>\u003c/strong> \u003cem>\u003cstrong>Pat\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My mom passed away in December 2020 in Germany. I had little time to choose what I wanted to keep and pack things up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I took what was closest to my heart, her favorite cups, books, photos, her notebooks and the stuff passed down by previous generations. Then I invited my mom's friends and family to take what they wanted to remember her, followed by neighbors and friends to take what they needed. \u003cem>\u003cstrong>—\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I have brought back from France the lamp my mother kept on her bedside table. It was one of the gifts she and my father received when they got married in 1943. Because of the war, it is made out of wood — not metal or pottery.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I replaced the shade. I have it now in my living room, enjoying its soft light and remembering both of my parents. \u003cstrong>\u003cem>— Genevieve\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11923381/they-make-me-smile-inside-the-power-of-family-heirlooms-to-keep-loved-ones-close","authors":["11530","243"],"categories":["news_8"],"tags":["news_18143","news_5946"],"featImg":"news_11923431","label":"news"},"news_11881047":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11881047","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11881047","score":null,"sort":[1626222635000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"low-wage-workers-in-california-cant-afford-to-take-family-leave","title":"For Some Californians, Family Leave Is 'Unattainable.' This Bill Seeks to Change That","publishDate":1626222635,"format":"standard","headTitle":"CALmatters | KQED News","labelTerm":{},"content":"\u003cp>Miranda Griswold and her partner were thrilled to grow their family when they had their first child in 2018. The less thrilling part: adding baby costs to their existing expenses — alimony payments, student loans and credit card bills.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Griswold had a C-section and her doctor recommended she stay at her Merced home for six weeks of recovery time. Her fiance, who works at a commercial printing press, returned to work after one week of vacation because they couldn’t afford for him to take more time off using family leave, which would replace only 60% of his wages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“There was no way we could make that percentage work,” said Griswold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote align=\"right\" size=\"medium\" citation=\"Assemblymember Lorena Gonzalez\"]'I think it is cruel that ... we actually deduct the 1.2% from their paycheck and yet we are dangling something that is unattainable if you can’t afford it.'[/pullquote]That’s the case for many workers in California. Assemblymember Lorena Gonzalez, a Democrat from San Diego County, authored a bill this year to increase that percentage — making it more realistic for low-income earners to use the leave that they’re required to fund with 1.2% of every paycheck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Assembly Bill 123, which the Assembly \u003ca href=\"https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billVotesClient.xhtml?bill_id=202120220AB123\">passed on a 65-0 vote\u003c/a> in May and is now in the Senate, would \u003ca href=\"https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billTextClient.xhtml?bill_id=202120220AB123\">increase the wage replacement rate\u003c/a> from at least 60% to 90% of a worker’s highest quarterly earnings in the past 18 months.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I think it is cruel that we actually deduct the 1.2% from their paycheck and yet we are dangling something that is unattainable if you can’t afford it,” Gonzalez said in an interview.\u003cbr>\n[ad fullwidth]\u003cbr>\nUnder current law, California’s paid family leave is often being used by those who can more easily afford going without full pay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Workers making less than $20,000 a year filed nearly 48,000 family leave claims in 2019, only slightly more than the 46,000 filed by those earning $100,000 or more a year, \u003ca href=\"https://www.edd.ca.gov/about_edd/pdf/Impact-of-Increasing-the-State-Disability-Insurance-Wage-Replacement.pdf\">according to the state Employment Development Department\u003c/a> (EDD). And between 2017 and 2019, the \u003ca href=\"https://www.edd.ca.gov/about_edd/pdf/Impact-of-Increasing-the-State-Disability-Insurance-Wage-Replacement.pdf\">number of claims from the lowest-wage workers declined\u003c/a> while claims by workers of every other income group increased, with claims from the highest earners rising most of all, by one-third.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://e.infogram.com/85faf7d8-12f0-4a13-96eb-d87eb3d4c7f7?src=embed\" title=\"Paid family leave claims\" width=\"800\" height=\"750\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" style=\"border:none;\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In total in 2019, the state paid nearly $1.1 billion in family leave benefits, including $287 million to those making $100,000 or more a year. The maximum benefit is $1,300 a week, for as long as eight weeks. \u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Expanding Access to Leave\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>AB 123 is the latest in a series of efforts to make paid family leave a more financially realistic option for more employees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2002, California became the first state to adopt a family leave benefit. It was included as an expansion of the state’s disability insurance program, compensating employees who took time off to care for a seriously ill family member or to bond with a new child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote align=\"right\" size=\"medium\" citation=\"Jill Thompson, Audrey Irmas Project for Women and Girls’ Rights at Public Counsel\"]'I almost feel like low-wage workers are subsidizing the rest of us because they’re paying into the system but not reaping the benefits.'[/pullquote]In 2016, then-Assemblymember Jimmy Gomez of Los Angeles authored a bill to \u003ca href=\"https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billTextClient.xhtml?bill_id=201520160AB908\">increase wage replacements based on income\u003c/a>: 70% for those earning below one-third of the state average, and 60% for those who earn more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2019, Gov. Gavin Newsom extended the amount of time employees could take off from six to eight weeks. And last year, he \u003ca href=\"https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billTextClient.xhtml?bill_id=201920200SB1383\">signed a bill\u003c/a> authored by Sen. Hannah-Beth Jackson of Santa Barbara, which expanded the law requiring large employers to \u003ca href=\"https://calmatters.org/politics/2020/09/family-leave-bill-working-moms/\">grant 12 weeks of unpaid leave\u003c/a> to any employer with at least five workers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The wage replacement rates in the 2016 law were due to expire on Jan. 1, 2022. In the budget deal last month between Newsom and the Legislature, the higher rates were extended to Jan. 1, 2023.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The wage replacement of at least 90% was also advocated in a December 2020 report from the California Health and Human Services Agency \u003ca href=\"https://cdn-west-prod-chhs-01.dsh.ca.gov/chhs/uploads/2020/12/01104743/Master-Plan-for-Early-Learning-and-Care-Making-California-For-All-Kids-FINAL.pdf\">outlining a revamp of the state’s early learning and child care system\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jill Thompson, directing attorney of the Audrey Irmas Project for Women and Girls’ Rights at Public Counsel, said she would like to see the higher benefits available for at least the lowest-wage earners.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I almost feel like low-wage workers are subsidizing the rest of us because they’re paying into the system but not reaping the benefits,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now, full-time workers at small businesses making California’s current minimum wage of $13 an hour get $6.24 a week deducted from their paycheck for family leave. Their pay before taxes is $520 a week, which means a weekly benefit of $364 under current law.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“That amount is under the poverty line,” Thompson said. “They’re expected to live under the poverty limit? No wonder people don’t do it. It’s not viable.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://e.infogram.com/eb949d75-af4b-4094-82b1-12bbcd53b706?src=embed\" title=\"Paid family leave for different employees\" width=\"800\" height=\"843\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" style=\"border:none;\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Paid Family Leave in Real Life\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>For Jerry Sandoval, a 36-year old San Diego resident, the 60% wage replacement was not enough. He made about $1,000 a week in 2014 and took paid family leave after the birth of his daughter. But he went back to work after getting his first reduced paycheck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sandoval, who now helps advocate for increased wages with the California Work and Family Coalition, recalls his hustle as a new father, working in a hotel by day and a graveyard shift at a casino at night. For a few hours in between, he’d go home to spend time with his baby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s tough. You don’t realize how hard it is until you go through it,” he said. “I do feel like in the future, if I ever have to use paid leave, I want to be able to take full advantage of it.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even for higher wage-earners, the coronavirus pandemic added new layers of financial difficulty to trying to take California’s paid family leave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Arissa Palmer, 44, of Orange, brought her mother-in-law for a visit from Maryland before the pandemic but she was unable to fly back. She suffers from dementia and needs care 24 hours a day. But with a mortgage to pay and a household to maintain, neither Palmer nor her husband could afford to take leave or hire someone to take care of her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11881098\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1024px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11881098\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_10.jpg\" alt=\"Two adults are sitting on the couch, looking at a baby, who is resting on the lap of one of the adults. Another young child plays with a dog on the carpet not too far from them.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_10.jpg 1024w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_10-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_10-1020x679.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_10-160x107.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Miranda Griswold dresses 23-month-old Jax for bed with her fiance, Matt Calhoun, while 3-year-old Rhys plays with the family dog at their Merced home on July 8, 2021. 'What are we doing to our families?' asked Griswold of the current family leave policy, and adds, 'there’s no support.' \u003ccite>(Anne Wernikoff/CalMatters)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>“We didn’t even know if it was safe to have someone in the home caring for her — and honestly, couldn’t even afford it,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Palmer switched jobs so she could work from home. She serves as the executive director of BreastfeedLA, which has been advocating for the passage of the bill alongside the Work and Family Coalition.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Allowing that paid time where parents and the babies can learn to get to know each other and learn each other’s cues is so important,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11881099\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1024px\">\u003cimg src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_04.jpg\" alt=\"The camera views at the arm of a child who plays with a toy train. The toy train is red and made of wood and moves around wooden railroad tracks that are set in a circle.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11881099\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_04.jpg 1024w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_04-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_04-1020x679.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_04-160x107.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Matt Calhoun, plays with this son Rhys, 3, at their Merced home on July 8, 2021. Calhoun was only able to afford to take one week off from his job at a printing press when Rhys was born in 2018. \u003ccite>(Anne Wernikoff/CalMatters)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>Looking at the Bottom Line\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The bill does not increase employer contributions; instead, it increases the amount that employees pay into the state family leave fund from each paycheck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While businesses will adapt and accommodate leaves as needed, the bill may be a bad deal for employees, according to the Central Valley Business Federation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote align=\"right\" size=\"medium\" citation=\"Clint Olivier, Business Federation of the Central Valley\"]'The state says, well, this is such a small amount of money the worker won’t be able to feel it. But the situation on the ground is much different.'[/pullquote]“In terms of this legislation, it’s a tax increase on everyday Californians, and so many workers in the state of California are having a hard time making ends meet with the cost of things going up,” said Clint Olivier, CEO of the federation, which represents about 70 businesses and associations across five counties, including Chevron and the California Association of Food Banks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bill would increase worker contributions by 0.1% to 0.2% per year, which Olivier estimates will be about $300 out of workers’ paychecks by 2025.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The state says, well, this is such a small amount of money the worker won’t be able to feel it. But the situation on the ground is much different,” Olivier told CalMatters. “It begs the question: Who is in a better place to determine how that money is spent, the individual or the state? And so I believe it’s the individual.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Miranda Griswold and her partner had their second child in 2019, when they had fewer debts to pay off. Her fiance picked up extra shifts beforehand, so his paychecks would be higher and he could take the full six weeks off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We still ended up having to save a ton to make up the difference. Rent is still due, bills are still due,” she said. “On the one hand I almost feel grateful that we got what we did. Having two kids, there’s no way I could have done it by myself.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“At least California offers this,” she said. “But for a lot of families, it’s still not enough.”\u003cbr>\n[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"AB 123 would increase the wage replacement rate for employees in California who go on family leave. Currently, family leave is deducted from the paychecks of Californians.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1626289702,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":true,"iframeSrcs":["https://e.infogram.com/85faf7d8-12f0-4a13-96eb-d87eb3d4c7f7","https://e.infogram.com/eb949d75-af4b-4094-82b1-12bbcd53b706"],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":37,"wordCount":1707},"headData":{"title":"For Some Californians, Family Leave Is 'Unattainable.' This Bill Seeks to Change That | KQED","description":"AB 123 would increase the wage replacement rate for employees in California who go on family leave. Currently, family leave is deducted from the paychecks of Californians.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11881047 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11881047","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2021/07/13/low-wage-workers-in-california-cant-afford-to-take-family-leave/","disqusTitle":"For Some Californians, Family Leave Is 'Unattainable.' This Bill Seeks to Change That","source":"CalMatters","sourceUrl":"https://calmatters.org/","nprByline":"\u003ca href=\"https://calmatters.org/author/sameea-kamal/\">Sameea Kamal\u003c/a>","path":"/news/11881047/low-wage-workers-in-california-cant-afford-to-take-family-leave","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Miranda Griswold and her partner were thrilled to grow their family when they had their first child in 2018. The less thrilling part: adding baby costs to their existing expenses — alimony payments, student loans and credit card bills.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Griswold had a C-section and her doctor recommended she stay at her Merced home for six weeks of recovery time. Her fiance, who works at a commercial printing press, returned to work after one week of vacation because they couldn’t afford for him to take more time off using family leave, which would replace only 60% of his wages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“There was no way we could make that percentage work,” said Griswold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'I think it is cruel that ... we actually deduct the 1.2% from their paycheck and yet we are dangling something that is unattainable if you can’t afford it.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"align":"right","size":"medium","citation":"Assemblymember Lorena Gonzalez","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>That’s the case for many workers in California. Assemblymember Lorena Gonzalez, a Democrat from San Diego County, authored a bill this year to increase that percentage — making it more realistic for low-income earners to use the leave that they’re required to fund with 1.2% of every paycheck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Assembly Bill 123, which the Assembly \u003ca href=\"https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billVotesClient.xhtml?bill_id=202120220AB123\">passed on a 65-0 vote\u003c/a> in May and is now in the Senate, would \u003ca href=\"https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billTextClient.xhtml?bill_id=202120220AB123\">increase the wage replacement rate\u003c/a> from at least 60% to 90% of a worker’s highest quarterly earnings in the past 18 months.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I think it is cruel that we actually deduct the 1.2% from their paycheck and yet we are dangling something that is unattainable if you can’t afford it,” Gonzalez said in an interview.\u003cbr>\n\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cbr>\nUnder current law, California’s paid family leave is often being used by those who can more easily afford going without full pay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Workers making less than $20,000 a year filed nearly 48,000 family leave claims in 2019, only slightly more than the 46,000 filed by those earning $100,000 or more a year, \u003ca href=\"https://www.edd.ca.gov/about_edd/pdf/Impact-of-Increasing-the-State-Disability-Insurance-Wage-Replacement.pdf\">according to the state Employment Development Department\u003c/a> (EDD). And between 2017 and 2019, the \u003ca href=\"https://www.edd.ca.gov/about_edd/pdf/Impact-of-Increasing-the-State-Disability-Insurance-Wage-Replacement.pdf\">number of claims from the lowest-wage workers declined\u003c/a> while claims by workers of every other income group increased, with claims from the highest earners rising most of all, by one-third.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://e.infogram.com/85faf7d8-12f0-4a13-96eb-d87eb3d4c7f7?src=embed\" title=\"Paid family leave claims\" width=\"800\" height=\"750\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" style=\"border:none;\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In total in 2019, the state paid nearly $1.1 billion in family leave benefits, including $287 million to those making $100,000 or more a year. The maximum benefit is $1,300 a week, for as long as eight weeks. \u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Expanding Access to Leave\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>AB 123 is the latest in a series of efforts to make paid family leave a more financially realistic option for more employees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2002, California became the first state to adopt a family leave benefit. It was included as an expansion of the state’s disability insurance program, compensating employees who took time off to care for a seriously ill family member or to bond with a new child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'I almost feel like low-wage workers are subsidizing the rest of us because they’re paying into the system but not reaping the benefits.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"align":"right","size":"medium","citation":"Jill Thompson, Audrey Irmas Project for Women and Girls’ Rights at Public Counsel","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>In 2016, then-Assemblymember Jimmy Gomez of Los Angeles authored a bill to \u003ca href=\"https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billTextClient.xhtml?bill_id=201520160AB908\">increase wage replacements based on income\u003c/a>: 70% for those earning below one-third of the state average, and 60% for those who earn more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2019, Gov. Gavin Newsom extended the amount of time employees could take off from six to eight weeks. And last year, he \u003ca href=\"https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billTextClient.xhtml?bill_id=201920200SB1383\">signed a bill\u003c/a> authored by Sen. Hannah-Beth Jackson of Santa Barbara, which expanded the law requiring large employers to \u003ca href=\"https://calmatters.org/politics/2020/09/family-leave-bill-working-moms/\">grant 12 weeks of unpaid leave\u003c/a> to any employer with at least five workers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The wage replacement rates in the 2016 law were due to expire on Jan. 1, 2022. In the budget deal last month between Newsom and the Legislature, the higher rates were extended to Jan. 1, 2023.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The wage replacement of at least 90% was also advocated in a December 2020 report from the California Health and Human Services Agency \u003ca href=\"https://cdn-west-prod-chhs-01.dsh.ca.gov/chhs/uploads/2020/12/01104743/Master-Plan-for-Early-Learning-and-Care-Making-California-For-All-Kids-FINAL.pdf\">outlining a revamp of the state’s early learning and child care system\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jill Thompson, directing attorney of the Audrey Irmas Project for Women and Girls’ Rights at Public Counsel, said she would like to see the higher benefits available for at least the lowest-wage earners.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I almost feel like low-wage workers are subsidizing the rest of us because they’re paying into the system but not reaping the benefits,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now, full-time workers at small businesses making California’s current minimum wage of $13 an hour get $6.24 a week deducted from their paycheck for family leave. Their pay before taxes is $520 a week, which means a weekly benefit of $364 under current law.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“That amount is under the poverty line,” Thompson said. “They’re expected to live under the poverty limit? No wonder people don’t do it. It’s not viable.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://e.infogram.com/eb949d75-af4b-4094-82b1-12bbcd53b706?src=embed\" title=\"Paid family leave for different employees\" width=\"800\" height=\"843\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" style=\"border:none;\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Paid Family Leave in Real Life\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>For Jerry Sandoval, a 36-year old San Diego resident, the 60% wage replacement was not enough. He made about $1,000 a week in 2014 and took paid family leave after the birth of his daughter. But he went back to work after getting his first reduced paycheck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sandoval, who now helps advocate for increased wages with the California Work and Family Coalition, recalls his hustle as a new father, working in a hotel by day and a graveyard shift at a casino at night. For a few hours in between, he’d go home to spend time with his baby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s tough. You don’t realize how hard it is until you go through it,” he said. “I do feel like in the future, if I ever have to use paid leave, I want to be able to take full advantage of it.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even for higher wage-earners, the coronavirus pandemic added new layers of financial difficulty to trying to take California’s paid family leave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Arissa Palmer, 44, of Orange, brought her mother-in-law for a visit from Maryland before the pandemic but she was unable to fly back. She suffers from dementia and needs care 24 hours a day. But with a mortgage to pay and a household to maintain, neither Palmer nor her husband could afford to take leave or hire someone to take care of her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11881098\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1024px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11881098\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_10.jpg\" alt=\"Two adults are sitting on the couch, looking at a baby, who is resting on the lap of one of the adults. Another young child plays with a dog on the carpet not too far from them.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_10.jpg 1024w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_10-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_10-1020x679.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_10-160x107.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Miranda Griswold dresses 23-month-old Jax for bed with her fiance, Matt Calhoun, while 3-year-old Rhys plays with the family dog at their Merced home on July 8, 2021. 'What are we doing to our families?' asked Griswold of the current family leave policy, and adds, 'there’s no support.' \u003ccite>(Anne Wernikoff/CalMatters)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>“We didn’t even know if it was safe to have someone in the home caring for her — and honestly, couldn’t even afford it,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Palmer switched jobs so she could work from home. She serves as the executive director of BreastfeedLA, which has been advocating for the passage of the bill alongside the Work and Family Coalition.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Allowing that paid time where parents and the babies can learn to get to know each other and learn each other’s cues is so important,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11881099\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1024px\">\u003cimg src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_04.jpg\" alt=\"The camera views at the arm of a child who plays with a toy train. The toy train is red and made of wood and moves around wooden railroad tracks that are set in a circle.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11881099\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_04.jpg 1024w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_04-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_04-1020x679.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2021/07/070821_FamilyLeave_AW_sized_04-160x107.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Matt Calhoun, plays with this son Rhys, 3, at their Merced home on July 8, 2021. Calhoun was only able to afford to take one week off from his job at a printing press when Rhys was born in 2018. \u003ccite>(Anne Wernikoff/CalMatters)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>Looking at the Bottom Line\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The bill does not increase employer contributions; instead, it increases the amount that employees pay into the state family leave fund from each paycheck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While businesses will adapt and accommodate leaves as needed, the bill may be a bad deal for employees, according to the Central Valley Business Federation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'The state says, well, this is such a small amount of money the worker won’t be able to feel it. But the situation on the ground is much different.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"align":"right","size":"medium","citation":"Clint Olivier, Business Federation of the Central Valley","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>“In terms of this legislation, it’s a tax increase on everyday Californians, and so many workers in the state of California are having a hard time making ends meet with the cost of things going up,” said Clint Olivier, CEO of the federation, which represents about 70 businesses and associations across five counties, including Chevron and the California Association of Food Banks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bill would increase worker contributions by 0.1% to 0.2% per year, which Olivier estimates will be about $300 out of workers’ paychecks by 2025.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The state says, well, this is such a small amount of money the worker won’t be able to feel it. But the situation on the ground is much different,” Olivier told CalMatters. “It begs the question: Who is in a better place to determine how that money is spent, the individual or the state? And so I believe it’s the individual.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Miranda Griswold and her partner had their second child in 2019, when they had fewer debts to pay off. Her fiance picked up extra shifts beforehand, so his paychecks would be higher and he could take the full six weeks off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We still ended up having to save a ton to make up the difference. Rent is still due, bills are still due,” she said. “On the one hand I almost feel grateful that we got what we did. Having two kids, there’s no way I could have done it by myself.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“At least California offers this,” she said. “But for a lot of families, it’s still not enough.”\u003cbr>\n\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11881047/low-wage-workers-in-california-cant-afford-to-take-family-leave","authors":["byline_news_11881047"],"categories":["news_457","news_8"],"tags":["news_29671","news_18538","news_28339","news_18143","news_18919","news_29670","news_26062","news_25405","news_25523"],"affiliates":["news_18481"],"featImg":"news_11881050","label":"source_news_11881047"},"news_11848660":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11848660","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11848660","score":null,"sort":[1606521627000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"in-a-year-of-isolation-remembering-thanksgiving-togetherness","title":"In a Year of Isolation, Remembering Thanksgiving Togetherness","publishDate":1606521627,"format":"audio","headTitle":"The California Report Magazine | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":26731,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-california-report-magazine/id1314750545?mt=2\">\u003ci>Listen to this and more in-depth storytelling by subscribing to The California Report Magazine podcast.\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This weekend, when so many of us have had to make the difficult choice to spend the holiday away from our loved ones, we’re inviting you to a virtual family gathering, with some of our favorite stories from Thanksgiving 2017.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11629987/a-family-expanded\">My ‘Family-Esque’\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>You know the saying, “You can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends?” Well, for KQED’s Bianca Taylor, her friends have become her family. Literally. She tells us how her unconventional family was transformed by an unexpected romance.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Food and Family From Students at 826 Valencia\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Food is a big part of spending time with family over the holidays. For 13-year-old Makhai Hunt, it's a chance to learn recipes passed down through generations. Twelve-year-old Stevie Rivas is thinking about sharing with people who don't have enough to eat. They bring us two essays we first aired back in 2017, produced with the San Francisco writing program, 826 Valencia.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/13812974/trans-singer-encounters-mother-and-bathroom-laws-on-tour-in-the-south\">Trans Singer Encounters Mother (and Bathroom Laws) on Tour in the South\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>For more than 40 years, the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus has used its music to help create community and inspire activism. In 2017, they toured five southern states to support local LGBTQ communities. KQED’s Chloe Veltman caught up with them on the tour bus and brought us the story of a reunion between one of the singers and his mom.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11632699/the-sons-of-the-soul-revivers-lifting-up-spirits-outside-the-church-walls\">Vallejo’s Sons of the Soul Revivers: Lifting Up Spirits, Outside the Church Walls\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Some families figure out their groove together by making music, like the Bay Area gospel quartet, the Sons of the Soul Revivers. They’ve been singing together for 50 years, since they were kids in church. They’re the Morgan brothers: Dwayne, James and Walter Jr., together with their nephew Quantae Johnson. Back in 2017, they had a new album out, \"Live at Rancho Nicasio,\" and we invited them to our studio to give a mini concert.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":null,"status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1606776728,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":8,"wordCount":357},"headData":{"title":"In a Year of Isolation, Remembering Thanksgiving Togetherness | KQED","description":"Many of us have had to make the tough choice to spend the holiday away from our loved ones, so join our virtual family gathering, with some of our favorite stories from Thanksgiving 2017.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11848660 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11848660","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2020/11/27/in-a-year-of-isolation-remembering-thanksgiving-togetherness/","disqusTitle":"In a Year of Isolation, Remembering Thanksgiving Togetherness","sourceUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/californiareportmagazine","audioUrl":"https://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.megaphone.fm/KQINC5845069204.mp3","nprByline":"KQED News Staff","path":"/news/11848660/in-a-year-of-isolation-remembering-thanksgiving-togetherness","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-california-report-magazine/id1314750545?mt=2\">\u003ci>Listen to this and more in-depth storytelling by subscribing to The California Report Magazine podcast.\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This weekend, when so many of us have had to make the difficult choice to spend the holiday away from our loved ones, we’re inviting you to a virtual family gathering, with some of our favorite stories from Thanksgiving 2017.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11629987/a-family-expanded\">My ‘Family-Esque’\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>You know the saying, “You can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends?” Well, for KQED’s Bianca Taylor, her friends have become her family. Literally. She tells us how her unconventional family was transformed by an unexpected romance.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Food and Family From Students at 826 Valencia\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Food is a big part of spending time with family over the holidays. For 13-year-old Makhai Hunt, it's a chance to learn recipes passed down through generations. Twelve-year-old Stevie Rivas is thinking about sharing with people who don't have enough to eat. They bring us two essays we first aired back in 2017, produced with the San Francisco writing program, 826 Valencia.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/13812974/trans-singer-encounters-mother-and-bathroom-laws-on-tour-in-the-south\">Trans Singer Encounters Mother (and Bathroom Laws) on Tour in the South\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>For more than 40 years, the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus has used its music to help create community and inspire activism. In 2017, they toured five southern states to support local LGBTQ communities. KQED’s Chloe Veltman caught up with them on the tour bus and brought us the story of a reunion between one of the singers and his mom.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11632699/the-sons-of-the-soul-revivers-lifting-up-spirits-outside-the-church-walls\">Vallejo’s Sons of the Soul Revivers: Lifting Up Spirits, Outside the Church Walls\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Some families figure out their groove together by making music, like the Bay Area gospel quartet, the Sons of the Soul Revivers. They’ve been singing together for 50 years, since they were kids in church. They’re the Morgan brothers: Dwayne, James and Walter Jr., together with their nephew Quantae Johnson. Back in 2017, they had a new album out, \"Live at Rancho Nicasio,\" and we invited them to our studio to give a mini concert.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11848660/in-a-year-of-isolation-remembering-thanksgiving-togetherness","authors":["byline_news_11848660"],"programs":["news_72","news_26731"],"categories":["news_21291"],"tags":["news_18143","news_333","news_1425","news_293"],"featImg":"news_11846952","label":"news_26731"},"news_11846759":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11846759","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11846759","score":null,"sort":[1605050621000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"saying-no-to-a-covid-thanksgiving-holidays-how-to-break-it-to-family-or-friends","title":"Saying No to the Holidays During COVID-19? How to Break It to Family (or Friends)","publishDate":1605050621,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>Updated Dec. 1 at 11:30 a.m.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Traveling during the COVID-19 pandemic raises a person's risk of contracting — or spreading — the coronavirus. Gathering in groups with other households, especially indoors, does just the same.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Put these two facts together and it's clear: Even when following all advised precautions, traveling to visit your family for the holidays carries undeniable risk factors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nationally, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention strongly\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/11/19/936715870/dont-travel-for-thanksgiving-cdc-warns\"> recommended that people stay home for Thanksgiving\u003c/a> last month. In California, nonessential travel outside of the state was already strongly discouraged by Gov. Gavin Newsom's \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/coronavirusliveupdates/news/11847404/newsom-urges-against-out-of-state-travel-advises-quarantine-for-those-who-do\">travel advisory\u003c/a> issued before Thanksgiving, which continues to ask people to self-quarantine for 14 days after arriving from another state or country.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This state guidance comes on the heels of \u003ca href=\"https://cchealth.org/press-releases/2020/1109-ABAHO-Holiday-Recommendations.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">recommendations\u003c/a> that were recently released by the nine Bay Area counties plus the city of Berkeley around travel, with the holidays specifically in mind. The guidance states that \"nonessential travel, including holiday travel, is not recommended. Traveling outside the Bay Area will increase your chance of getting infected and spreading the virus to others after your return.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So it's no surprise that many people chose to forgo Thanksgiving with their families and friends altogether, and are planning on doing the same for Hanukkah, Christmas or Kwanzaa during the pandemic. But how can you have that tricky conversation with loved ones without creating a rift, or unduly hurting someone's feelings?\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/science/1970886/visiting-family-over-the-holidays-heres-how-to-lower-your-risk-for-covid-19\">Determined to visit family or friends for the holidays after all? Get prep tips and harm reduction guidance from experts\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch3>Remember: This Is \u003cem>Always\u003c/em> Your Choice\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Let’s get this out of the way: Even in a holiday season without a pandemic to consider, your movements and actions regarding an event like Thanksgiving are always yours to decide. Regardless of what others — family, friends, strangers — may think, your time and your personal space are completely and utterly your business and yours to direct as you see fit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postID=\"science_1970886\" hero=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/35/2020/11/GettyImages-1214738416-1020x682.jpg\"]There are many reasons why a person might not welcome visiting with family over the holidays. Money issues around travel, scarcity of vacation time, simmering family drama, tension with relatives over core beliefs or their failure to respect your identity, your lifestyle or your boundaries, a lack of desire to mark certain holidays or just \u003cem>wanting to sit your behind at home instead;\u003c/em> these are all 100% valid reasons to forgo a family gathering — pandemic or no pandemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yet in the most communicative of family dynamics, telling loved ones that you won’t be joining their gathering is still no picnic. As a teacher and sex educator in the Bay Area, \u003ca href=\"https://www.givingthetalk.com/\">Julia Feldman\u003c/a> advises on navigating delicate, difficult conversations when it comes to health and harm reduction. She's previously shared her advice for clear, respectful communication around \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11825738/negotiating-safe-socializing-has-a-lot-in-common-with-negotiating-safe-sex\">socializing\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11826988/sex-and-dating-during-coronavirus-from-masks-to-kissing-a-guide-to-your-risks\">dating during the pandemic\u003c/a>, and \"COVID Thanksgiving\" was a subject particularly close to Feldman's heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's because she herself made the decision to decline a wider family Thanksgiving this year because of the pandemic and the need to preserve her own family's \"pod.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We kept trying to find a way to make it work,\" Feldman said. \"And at a certain point realized that like a lot of things this year, we just need to approach things differently.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Why \u003cem>does\u003c/em> it feel so much tougher declining an invitation to a family holiday gathering than, say, a party or a birthday?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's a lot of sentimentality, and a lot of history and a lot of tradition there,\" Feldman explains. \"And so it's a lot for people to let go of.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Be Firm, But Lead With Feelings\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>When navigating a difficult conversation, or delivering \"bad news,\" there can sometimes be a temptation to stay extra-firm and resolute in your communication — in case the recipient interprets any hesitation as a cause for hope that you haven't \u003cem>really\u003c/em> made up your mind. Being firm in what we can and cannot do is great, Feldman says, but don't let that stop you from \"expressing [your] sadness and regret,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postID=\"news_11836745\" hero=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/09/open-road-1-1038x576.jpg\"]Many of us are taught that to effectively traverse tough talks, we need to be \"very decisive, and and maybe even kind of emotionless or unemotional about it,\" Feldman says. But rather than shying away from emotion in such a discussion, it's actually better to embrace it, and in this case, \"express our genuine sadness.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of her own Thanksgiving situation, Feldman says, \"I needed to be able to tell my family 'I really wish we could be with you, and it's really hard for us that we can't.' \" Being honest about the difficulty of the decision \u003cem>and\u003c/em> the pain it's causing — for you and for your family — is the best way to ask for and hopefully achieve some understanding.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ultimately, you're making this decision to reduce your family's risk of contracting and spreading COVID-19, and it's your way of keeping them safe from harm. \"That is an ultimate act of care and we need to focus on that,\" Feldman says.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Acknowledge That This Sucks ...\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Addressing the pain your decision may cause can be productive — and so can acknowledging the magnitude of it, and how disappointing it is. Over these last eight months, the pandemic has forced many people to cancel dearly anticipated plans and forgo contact with loved ones. Rather than minimizing the impact of your decision and the disruption caused by the virus that led you to \u003cem>make\u003c/em> it, make it clear, advises Feldman, that this is nobody's ideal, and, frankly, it sucks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It perhaps becomes even harder to make and stick to a decision like this because of a collective fatigue with the pandemic and its pernicious ability to alter seemingly every plan in our lives. And yes, it's tempting to throw your hands up in the air and soften those boundaries you might have firmly held at the beginning of shelter-in-place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Staying strong is tough, but \u003cem>you\u003c/em> know why you're doing this: to keep your loved ones safe. Pretending it's not a big deal isn't being truthful, and you — and your family — are \u003cem>allowed\u003c/em> to be saddened, frustrated or downright pissed off about it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If we deny that,\" Feldman says, \"there's going to be a lot of pent-up resentment and sadness and miscommunication later on.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11846886\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11846886\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/11/pexels-breakingpic-3056.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/11/pexels-breakingpic-3056.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/11/pexels-breakingpic-3056-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/11/pexels-breakingpic-3056-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/11/pexels-breakingpic-3056-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/11/pexels-breakingpic-3056-1536x1024.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Changing plans for the holidays because of the COVID-19 pandemic can result in difficult conversations with loved ones. \u003ccite>(Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>... But Make Your New Plans Clear\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>During difficult discussions, you might find that family members are holding out hope you'll change your mind — whether they articulate that or not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Communicating that you have new plans for the holidays can greatly aid your kind-but-clear efforts to let folks know you're not changing your mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For Feldman, ordering her own turkey for her different Thanksgiving this year was a big deal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"For me, that was kind of like a decisive move,\" she says, and one which she actually found helpful to communicate to her family. To introduce this conversation, Feldman says a helpful phrase might be: \"I've decided to make other plans so that I can feel like I'm celebrating this holiday.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again, you can keep it real with your family, and convey the strangeness or jarring nature of your new plans to sustain that crucial emotional honesty: \"This is what I'm going to do this year, and it feels right in the context of this crazy world that's going on right now,\" suggests Feldman. You don't have to convey that you're thrilled with your new plans — only that you \u003cem>have\u003c/em> them, and you're sticking to them.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>What if Your Family Downplays COVID-19?\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>If your family — incorrectly — believes that the pandemic isn't \"that big a deal,\" or doesn't think it's enough reason to forgo the usual holiday gatherings, that's undeniably a tough situation to navigate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trying to \"convince\" your loved ones of the pandemic's devastating seriousness by sending them statistics and literature probably isn't going to change their minds at this point, Feldman says. So, what can you do?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You just really have to come from an emotional place of being honest,\" Feldman says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Be clear with your family that the travel process alone puts both you and them at a heightened risk of contracting or spreading COVID-19 — and that regardless of their feelings about that, you're personally committed to your responsibility to keep your family safe. Be honest that you know the decision could cause some hurt, but because your priority is their safety, \"you're still acting from a place of love, and that's going to have to guide you,\" Feldman says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is, after all, your way of showing your care for the people you love.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>What if It's Friends, Not Family?\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Because of the variance between family dynamic and friend/peer dynamics, declining to gather with friends for a holiday celebration will be quite a different conversation to have. In some cases, it might feel even \u003cem>harder\u003c/em> to inform your best friend than your family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our friendships can be complex in origin, form and dynamics, so emotions between peers can be highly mixed — and can quickly get fraught. Friends can also have very different expectations from each other, Feldman says: \"So I could imagine that a friend could feel like you have a sense of loyalty, or maybe a sense of responsibility, or maybe that you respect them and trust them,\" in a way that you \u003cem>don't\u003c/em> necessarily trust your relatives. Which might make hearing your decision even tougher for a pal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size=\"medium\" align=\"right\" citation=\"Julia Feldman\"]'[L]et's focus on being thankful for what we have ... And not be reckless now, at the expense of of all the things we're thankful for, or at the expense of loved ones.'[/pullquote]Feldman recommends that you navigate holiday discussions with the same honesty, frankness and emotional openness that you'd bring to your family. If it's breaking your heart that you can't celebrate with your friend, tell them that — and propose any ideas you might have for how to meet virtually or at a distance outside instead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One extra element to remember where friends are concerned: Make sure that they know that you trust and respect them, especially when it comes to their conduct around COVID-19. When you decline a holiday gathering, bear in mind that many folks can — even unconsciously — infer moral judgments around socializing during the pandemic. They might think that you don't feel comfortable gathering with \u003cem>them\u003c/em>, because of how they've been behaving during the pandemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's a lot of reading into this that people can do,\" Feldman says, \"that somehow you're suggesting that people aren't being careful, or being safe, because you're not going to celebrate with them.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you sense that a friend suspects you're declining their holiday gathering because you don't trust them, be sure to reassure them — and bring it back to the big picture.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It has nothing to do about someone being 'safe' or 'careful,' \" Feldman says. \"Our priority is to make sure that everyone that we want to celebrate with next year is going to be alive, and healthy, and well, and able to do that. And this year, we're making a lot of sacrifices. We've got bigger goals here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"[L]et's really focus on being thankful for what we have and thankful for the future that we can have,\" Feldman says. \"And not be reckless now, at the expense of of all the things we're thankful for, or at the expense of loved ones.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"So you've decided not to visit family for the holidays. How do you broach that conversation?","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1610566465,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":41,"wordCount":2045},"headData":{"title":"Saying No to the Holidays During COVID-19? How to Break It to Family (or Friends) | KQED","description":"So you've decided not to visit family for the holidays. How do you broach that conversation?","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11846759 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11846759","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2020/11/10/saying-no-to-a-covid-thanksgiving-holidays-how-to-break-it-to-family-or-friends/","disqusTitle":"Saying No to the Holidays During COVID-19? How to Break It to Family (or Friends)","path":"/news/11846759/saying-no-to-a-covid-thanksgiving-holidays-how-to-break-it-to-family-or-friends","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Updated Dec. 1 at 11:30 a.m.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Traveling during the COVID-19 pandemic raises a person's risk of contracting — or spreading — the coronavirus. Gathering in groups with other households, especially indoors, does just the same.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Put these two facts together and it's clear: Even when following all advised precautions, traveling to visit your family for the holidays carries undeniable risk factors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nationally, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention strongly\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/11/19/936715870/dont-travel-for-thanksgiving-cdc-warns\"> recommended that people stay home for Thanksgiving\u003c/a> last month. In California, nonessential travel outside of the state was already strongly discouraged by Gov. Gavin Newsom's \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/coronavirusliveupdates/news/11847404/newsom-urges-against-out-of-state-travel-advises-quarantine-for-those-who-do\">travel advisory\u003c/a> issued before Thanksgiving, which continues to ask people to self-quarantine for 14 days after arriving from another state or country.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This state guidance comes on the heels of \u003ca href=\"https://cchealth.org/press-releases/2020/1109-ABAHO-Holiday-Recommendations.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">recommendations\u003c/a> that were recently released by the nine Bay Area counties plus the city of Berkeley around travel, with the holidays specifically in mind. The guidance states that \"nonessential travel, including holiday travel, is not recommended. Traveling outside the Bay Area will increase your chance of getting infected and spreading the virus to others after your return.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So it's no surprise that many people chose to forgo Thanksgiving with their families and friends altogether, and are planning on doing the same for Hanukkah, Christmas or Kwanzaa during the pandemic. But how can you have that tricky conversation with loved ones without creating a rift, or unduly hurting someone's feelings?\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/science/1970886/visiting-family-over-the-holidays-heres-how-to-lower-your-risk-for-covid-19\">Determined to visit family or friends for the holidays after all? Get prep tips and harm reduction guidance from experts\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch3>Remember: This Is \u003cem>Always\u003c/em> Your Choice\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Let’s get this out of the way: Even in a holiday season without a pandemic to consider, your movements and actions regarding an event like Thanksgiving are always yours to decide. Regardless of what others — family, friends, strangers — may think, your time and your personal space are completely and utterly your business and yours to direct as you see fit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"science_1970886","hero":"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/35/2020/11/GettyImages-1214738416-1020x682.jpg","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>There are many reasons why a person might not welcome visiting with family over the holidays. Money issues around travel, scarcity of vacation time, simmering family drama, tension with relatives over core beliefs or their failure to respect your identity, your lifestyle or your boundaries, a lack of desire to mark certain holidays or just \u003cem>wanting to sit your behind at home instead;\u003c/em> these are all 100% valid reasons to forgo a family gathering — pandemic or no pandemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yet in the most communicative of family dynamics, telling loved ones that you won’t be joining their gathering is still no picnic. As a teacher and sex educator in the Bay Area, \u003ca href=\"https://www.givingthetalk.com/\">Julia Feldman\u003c/a> advises on navigating delicate, difficult conversations when it comes to health and harm reduction. She's previously shared her advice for clear, respectful communication around \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11825738/negotiating-safe-socializing-has-a-lot-in-common-with-negotiating-safe-sex\">socializing\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11826988/sex-and-dating-during-coronavirus-from-masks-to-kissing-a-guide-to-your-risks\">dating during the pandemic\u003c/a>, and \"COVID Thanksgiving\" was a subject particularly close to Feldman's heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's because she herself made the decision to decline a wider family Thanksgiving this year because of the pandemic and the need to preserve her own family's \"pod.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We kept trying to find a way to make it work,\" Feldman said. \"And at a certain point realized that like a lot of things this year, we just need to approach things differently.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Why \u003cem>does\u003c/em> it feel so much tougher declining an invitation to a family holiday gathering than, say, a party or a birthday?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's a lot of sentimentality, and a lot of history and a lot of tradition there,\" Feldman explains. \"And so it's a lot for people to let go of.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Be Firm, But Lead With Feelings\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>When navigating a difficult conversation, or delivering \"bad news,\" there can sometimes be a temptation to stay extra-firm and resolute in your communication — in case the recipient interprets any hesitation as a cause for hope that you haven't \u003cem>really\u003c/em> made up your mind. Being firm in what we can and cannot do is great, Feldman says, but don't let that stop you from \"expressing [your] sadness and regret,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"postid":"news_11836745","hero":"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/09/open-road-1-1038x576.jpg","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>Many of us are taught that to effectively traverse tough talks, we need to be \"very decisive, and and maybe even kind of emotionless or unemotional about it,\" Feldman says. But rather than shying away from emotion in such a discussion, it's actually better to embrace it, and in this case, \"express our genuine sadness.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of her own Thanksgiving situation, Feldman says, \"I needed to be able to tell my family 'I really wish we could be with you, and it's really hard for us that we can't.' \" Being honest about the difficulty of the decision \u003cem>and\u003c/em> the pain it's causing — for you and for your family — is the best way to ask for and hopefully achieve some understanding.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ultimately, you're making this decision to reduce your family's risk of contracting and spreading COVID-19, and it's your way of keeping them safe from harm. \"That is an ultimate act of care and we need to focus on that,\" Feldman says.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Acknowledge That This Sucks ...\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Addressing the pain your decision may cause can be productive — and so can acknowledging the magnitude of it, and how disappointing it is. Over these last eight months, the pandemic has forced many people to cancel dearly anticipated plans and forgo contact with loved ones. Rather than minimizing the impact of your decision and the disruption caused by the virus that led you to \u003cem>make\u003c/em> it, make it clear, advises Feldman, that this is nobody's ideal, and, frankly, it sucks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It perhaps becomes even harder to make and stick to a decision like this because of a collective fatigue with the pandemic and its pernicious ability to alter seemingly every plan in our lives. And yes, it's tempting to throw your hands up in the air and soften those boundaries you might have firmly held at the beginning of shelter-in-place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Staying strong is tough, but \u003cem>you\u003c/em> know why you're doing this: to keep your loved ones safe. Pretending it's not a big deal isn't being truthful, and you — and your family — are \u003cem>allowed\u003c/em> to be saddened, frustrated or downright pissed off about it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If we deny that,\" Feldman says, \"there's going to be a lot of pent-up resentment and sadness and miscommunication later on.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11846886\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11846886\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/11/pexels-breakingpic-3056.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/11/pexels-breakingpic-3056.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/11/pexels-breakingpic-3056-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/11/pexels-breakingpic-3056-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/11/pexels-breakingpic-3056-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/11/pexels-breakingpic-3056-1536x1024.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Changing plans for the holidays because of the COVID-19 pandemic can result in difficult conversations with loved ones. \u003ccite>(Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>... But Make Your New Plans Clear\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>During difficult discussions, you might find that family members are holding out hope you'll change your mind — whether they articulate that or not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Communicating that you have new plans for the holidays can greatly aid your kind-but-clear efforts to let folks know you're not changing your mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For Feldman, ordering her own turkey for her different Thanksgiving this year was a big deal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"For me, that was kind of like a decisive move,\" she says, and one which she actually found helpful to communicate to her family. To introduce this conversation, Feldman says a helpful phrase might be: \"I've decided to make other plans so that I can feel like I'm celebrating this holiday.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again, you can keep it real with your family, and convey the strangeness or jarring nature of your new plans to sustain that crucial emotional honesty: \"This is what I'm going to do this year, and it feels right in the context of this crazy world that's going on right now,\" suggests Feldman. You don't have to convey that you're thrilled with your new plans — only that you \u003cem>have\u003c/em> them, and you're sticking to them.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>What if Your Family Downplays COVID-19?\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>If your family — incorrectly — believes that the pandemic isn't \"that big a deal,\" or doesn't think it's enough reason to forgo the usual holiday gatherings, that's undeniably a tough situation to navigate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trying to \"convince\" your loved ones of the pandemic's devastating seriousness by sending them statistics and literature probably isn't going to change their minds at this point, Feldman says. So, what can you do?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You just really have to come from an emotional place of being honest,\" Feldman says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Be clear with your family that the travel process alone puts both you and them at a heightened risk of contracting or spreading COVID-19 — and that regardless of their feelings about that, you're personally committed to your responsibility to keep your family safe. Be honest that you know the decision could cause some hurt, but because your priority is their safety, \"you're still acting from a place of love, and that's going to have to guide you,\" Feldman says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is, after all, your way of showing your care for the people you love.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>What if It's Friends, Not Family?\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Because of the variance between family dynamic and friend/peer dynamics, declining to gather with friends for a holiday celebration will be quite a different conversation to have. In some cases, it might feel even \u003cem>harder\u003c/em> to inform your best friend than your family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our friendships can be complex in origin, form and dynamics, so emotions between peers can be highly mixed — and can quickly get fraught. Friends can also have very different expectations from each other, Feldman says: \"So I could imagine that a friend could feel like you have a sense of loyalty, or maybe a sense of responsibility, or maybe that you respect them and trust them,\" in a way that you \u003cem>don't\u003c/em> necessarily trust your relatives. Which might make hearing your decision even tougher for a pal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'[L]et's focus on being thankful for what we have ... And not be reckless now, at the expense of of all the things we're thankful for, or at the expense of loved ones.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Julia Feldman","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>Feldman recommends that you navigate holiday discussions with the same honesty, frankness and emotional openness that you'd bring to your family. If it's breaking your heart that you can't celebrate with your friend, tell them that — and propose any ideas you might have for how to meet virtually or at a distance outside instead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One extra element to remember where friends are concerned: Make sure that they know that you trust and respect them, especially when it comes to their conduct around COVID-19. When you decline a holiday gathering, bear in mind that many folks can — even unconsciously — infer moral judgments around socializing during the pandemic. They might think that you don't feel comfortable gathering with \u003cem>them\u003c/em>, because of how they've been behaving during the pandemic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's a lot of reading into this that people can do,\" Feldman says, \"that somehow you're suggesting that people aren't being careful, or being safe, because you're not going to celebrate with them.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you sense that a friend suspects you're declining their holiday gathering because you don't trust them, be sure to reassure them — and bring it back to the big picture.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It has nothing to do about someone being 'safe' or 'careful,' \" Feldman says. \"Our priority is to make sure that everyone that we want to celebrate with next year is going to be alive, and healthy, and well, and able to do that. And this year, we're making a lot of sacrifices. We've got bigger goals here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"[L]et's really focus on being thankful for what we have and thankful for the future that we can have,\" Feldman says. \"And not be reckless now, at the expense of of all the things we're thankful for, or at the expense of loved ones.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11846759/saying-no-to-a-covid-thanksgiving-holidays-how-to-break-it-to-family-or-friends","authors":["3243"],"categories":["news_457","news_8"],"tags":["news_27350","news_29029","news_27504","news_18143","news_20138","news_27808","news_293"],"featImg":"news_11846885","label":"news"},"news_11830886":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11830886","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11830886","score":null,"sort":[1596148724000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"i-had-to-stand-up-for-my-parents-your-childhood-memories-of-translating-for-family","title":"'I Had to Stand Up for My Parents': Your Childhood Memories of Translating for Family","publishDate":1596148724,"format":"image","headTitle":"KQED News","labelTerm":{"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>When a 10-year-old girl named Maggie \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/2010101878641/coronavirus-disproportinately-hits-latinos-in-california\">called KQED Forum\u003c/a> recently to ask a COVID-19 question on behalf of her parents, thousands of listeners heard her interpret from Spanish to English live on air — and recognized their own childhood in that moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>KQED's Adriana Morga was one of them. And when she \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11829745/when-a-10-year-old-translated-for-her-parents-on-live-radio-thousands-recognized-themselves\">wrote a story\u003c/a> about that experience, and how Maggie's call \"represented the epitome of what immigrant children have to do in order to get information to their parents,\" it struck another chord with our readers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11829745/when-a-10-year-old-translated-for-her-parents-on-live-radio-thousands-recognized-themselves#hearken\">We asked you\u003c/a> whether Maggie's story reminded you of your own experiences growing up. The stories you sent were moving, proud, painful, bittersweet and frank, each one emphasizing the shared aspects that unite your experiences across place and culture.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11829854\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11829854\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Maggie1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Maggie1.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Maggie1-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Maggie1-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Maggie1-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Maggie1-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Maggie Carillo, who called KQED Forum to ask a coronavirus question on behalf of her parents \u003ccite>(Courtesy Rosibel Vazquez Alvarado)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Your stories also reveal the full responsibility young multilingual family members now face while navigating the coronavirus crisis on behalf of their loved ones — and the sheer weight of that potentially lifesaving role. That's why we've collected \u003ca href=\"#resources\">a list of resources\u003c/a> to support kids like Maggie, or any families looking for multilingual information about COVID-19.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Scroll to read your stories and find those resources.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Some of these responses have been edited for length.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Being someone like Maggie for your family can be a heavy responsibility...\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>When I saw the tweet about Maggie, I cried. It was the first time I have ever heard or read anything in my whole life that so completely resonated with my experience as a young immigrant child translating for my mother. We immigrated to the Peninsula Bay Area when I was 5 years old, from Ukraine. I made so many calls, sent so many messages, did so many tasks as a kid that required me to translate between Ukrainian and English. These experiences forced me and many other kids to grow up too quickly. It’s now only exacerbated during these tumultuous times. Now I work in the state Legislature, hoping to be a part of improving how information is shared with all communities in our state, especially those most in need like Maggie’s family. — \u003cstrong>Anya\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I could share so many stories of parent/teacher conferences, doctor's visits, immigration appointments or visits from the landlord (among other things) when I would hear the familiar \"Ven, ven, Marisol... Dime qué dijo.\" Over the years, I picked up on certain words that I knew were important to know in preparation for these encounters, but there was always that moment of panic when an unfamiliar word would pop up. I would immediately imagine the possibility of being held back a grade, or having to pay extra for something, or leading to a misdiagnosis. Nothing that bad ever happened, but that pressure was always present. (As a teacher) my hope now is to be a part of and create learning communities and spaces where our students and our families can engage without having to imagine worst-case scenarios. — \u003cstrong>Marisol\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831200\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831200\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Glenda.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Glenda.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Glenda-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Glenda-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Glenda-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Glenda-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">'Being the child of an immigrant always comes with its own series of 'club rules',' said Glenda Cota, who grew up supporting her family with her language skills. \u003ccite>(Glenda Cota)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>...but for many, there are positive memories and pride\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Being the child of an immigrant always comes with its own series of \"club rules.\" If you know them, you know them. It’s a hard club to be a part of at times, but I’m happy to be a part of it. I’m happy to sacrifice my time and energy to an immigrant parent who has sacrificed so much, for me to be American. — \u003cstrong>Glenda Cota\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(At 8 years old) I had to go to my grandmother's doctor's appointments specifically to translate. It was just her and I, navigating our way through public transportation. I was intimidated by the front desk ladies, and scared of hospitals, afraid to miss important information to translate. However I was proud to stick up for my grandmother (the staff was not always kind) and be able to help her. To this day I still feel the same compassion to help translate for co-workers, family members and strangers that I see that need help. We all need the power of information. — \u003cstrong>Zara\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There was a period of time where I resented it a bit, because I felt like I was forced to grow up very quickly in order to help out when my parents didn't understand something. However, I learned to embrace my role because it was my way of giving back to my parents, for all that they have done for me. Growing up under the circumstances that I did is what forged the distinct Chicanx identity I have today. I knew what I was doing was important and bigger than me. I was helping my family navigate a system that I'd later learn was tricky and discriminatory. — \u003cstrong>Omar Vega\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831201\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831201\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Omar.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Omar.jpeg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Omar-800x539.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Omar-1020x687.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Omar-160x108.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Omar-1536x1035.jpeg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">'Growing up under the circumstances that I did is what forged the distinct Chicanx identity I have today,' said Omar Vega, pictured here age 7. \u003ccite>(Omar Vega)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>Your childhood experiences can steer your career path\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>My Vietnamese refugee parents resettled in Santa Ana, California after fleeing from the Vietnam War. Growing up, I translated documents for my parents and helped them navigate life here in the United States. I learned how to be an advocate at an early age because I had to stand up for my parents when I saw them experience discrimination. I am the first in my family to pursue a Master's degree and I chose to work in education because I want to work with youth who have gone through similar experiences. I want them to know that coming from an immigrant family is their superpower and to encourage them to keep advocating for their families even when times are hard. I also want to challenge our government agencies to be more inclusive of these immigrant experiences. Having translated documents is just the bare minimum. — \u003cstrong>Kathy Tran\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831202\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831202\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Kathy-Tran.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Kathy-Tran.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Kathy-Tran-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Kathy-Tran-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Kathy-Tran-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Kathy-Tran-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">'I learned how to be an advocate at an early age because I had to stand up for my parents when I saw them experience discrimination,' said Kathy Tran, pictured here with her father. \u003ccite>(Kathy Tran)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>When I was 14, I translated for my grandmother when she was battling cancer. That experience has left an indelible mark on my life. Because of those early experiences translating for my family, I have pursued a career in science, and am now working on my masters in public health at UC Berkeley and applying to medical school. — \u003cstrong>Daniel Mota\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I began interpreting for my parents as a child at school, stores, doctor's offices and pretty much anywhere my parents needed services. Both my parents are indigenous Mexicans, whose primary language is Mixteco and secondary language is Spanish. I was raised speaking Spanish, and so I primarily interpreted from English to Spanish and vice versa. I have dedicated my entire life to advocate for those that can’t be heard, and today I’m a proud co-founder of Herencia Indigena (Indigenous Heritage). We specialize in training trilingual individuals to become qualified advocates/interpreters for hospitals, clinics and government agencies both private and public. — \u003cstrong>Irebid Gilbert\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831203\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831203\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Daniel-Mota.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Daniel-Mota.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Daniel-Mota-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Daniel-Mota-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Daniel-Mota-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Daniel-Mota-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Translating for his grandmother during her cancer treatment 'left an indelible mark on my life,' said Daniel Mota, and led him into the career path he's pursuing today. \u003ccite>(Daniel Mota)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>For many, there's a standout memory that lingers\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>As a second-generation Vietnamese American, my parents relied on me often to look over everything from utility bills to dealing with landlords. One moment stands out to me when I was a teenager and having to write a letter to appeal to the landlord who wanted to take my family's whole security deposit, which would have been a lot of money. I remember trying to use everything I learned in English composition classes to write this letter, and I recall feeling a great sense of justice. We didn't end up getting that security deposit back, but I'm glad I was able to help my parents regardless. — \u003cstrong>Jeannie Pham\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I was six-years-old, I traveled to Mexico with my grandmother. Upon our return we were held at immigration at LAX and the TSA agents expected me, a six-year-old child, to explain my grandmother’s immigration status and to translate a very complex conversation using words I had never heard before. It was so scary. I did my best because I was worried my grandmother would be deported, because I was told by the TSA agent if my grandmother could not give them the information they needed she would be sent back to Mexico. I did not completely comprehend everything that was being said, yet I was expected to translate. — \u003cstrong>Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831204\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831204\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Irebid.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Irebid.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Irebid-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Irebid-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Irebid-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Irebid-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Interpreting for her Indigenous Mexican parents led Irebid Gilbert (right, with siblings Vianey and Judith) on the career path she has today. \u003ccite>(Irebid Gilbert)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>My mother had a court date for a traffic citation (come to think of it, this may be where my fear of public speaking began). She took me as the designated interpreter. As I stood before the judge and hearing mother tell me \"dile, dile lo que te dije\" (tell him, tell him what I told you), I froze. When I finally spoke, my voice was low and timid. I no longer recall what I said but luckily the judge sympathized with me. He asked me my age (I must have been 13 or 14 at the time) and then proceeded to tell me there were careers in the future for me. Nevertheless, the look I got from my mother told me I had failed. Many years later, I did in fact become a trained interpreter. Although that particular memory is bittersweet, I recognize the dire need for my mother to want to relay her thoughts and emotions, something perhaps she felt only a family member could do. — \u003cstrong>Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the most memorable (recollections) was how my mother loved the show \"Friends,\" but did not understand a lot of the jokes. So I would translate it for her. — \u003cstrong>Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831205\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831205\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Sally.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Sally.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Sally-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Sally-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Sally-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Sally-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">As a child, Sally Seraphin translated for Haitian relatives who were newly arrived in the U.S. With COVID-19, she said, the responsibility of kids doing this kind of work for families 'is doubly hard.' \u003ccite>(Sally Seraphin)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>One summer day, when I was 9, I was home alone with my mom. That's why, when the phone rang and it was her boss, she asked me to translate for her. I introduced myself to the man on the other end of the phone and he brusquely, and without preamble, said \"Tell your mom I'm laying her off, so she doesn't have to come to work on Monday.\" I didn't know what that meant so I asked him if she could go on Tuesday. — \u003cstrong>Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>You frequently tackled complex adult administrative work...\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>As a young girl, I often translated for Haitian relatives who were newly arrived in the U.S. I would take them on rounds to all the usual places one needs to go in order to get established in a new land, such as the Social Security Administration. It taught me a sort of resourcefulness and built my resilience, but it was also a challenging burden for someone so young. Under normal circumstances, the life of an immigrant child is not carefree and often complicated by real economic hardship. With COVID their work is doubly hard. Immigrant children and families deserve better support. — \u003cstrong>Sally Seraphin\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831206\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831206\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Elodia.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Elodia.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Elodia-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Elodia-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Elodia-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Elodia-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Elodia Caballero said she began supporting her parents with her language skills 'as soon as I learned to write and read in English.' \u003ccite>(Elodia Caballero)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>As soon as I learned to write and read in English, it was my responsibility to fill out applications and write letters of earned household income so my siblings and I could get Medicaid. I was also responsible for reading all government and official documents for my family. I had a hard time reading the documents, and don't know if I told them the right thing every time. — \u003cstrong>Elodia Caballero\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As the oldest kid, just having turned 13 when we arrived (in San Francisco from Mexico in 1984), I remember the many times I translated for my parents things that children should not be aware or exposed to. My mother became pregnant shortly after our arrival and I had to go to her medical appointments and translate. One time I had to translate the risk of her pregnancy and the possibility that her baby in the womb might have Down syndrome. Even as a teen or young adult, translating legal and financial issues is intense as one becomes fully aware of the fragility of our family’s situation. — \u003cstrong>Maru Salazar\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831209\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831209\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Angel-and-Manuel.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Angel-and-Manuel.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Angel-and-Manuel-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Angel-and-Manuel-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Angel-and-Manuel-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Angel-and-Manuel-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Angel Luis Martinez, now 80 (pictured here around the age of 12 with his uncle Manuel) said navigating the attitudes of U.S. officials after he and his family arrived from Puerto Rico left 'a bitter taste in my soul.' \u003ccite>(Angel Luis Martinez)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>...and you learned a lot about adult systems of power and discrimination\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>I am 80 years old and arrived in NYC from Puerto Rico in 1947. I was the oldest child in our family and the first one to learn English. I still have a bitter taste in my soul from having to translate the scorn of the then-called \"home relief\" (later welfare, later AFDC) workers who queried every aspect of our lives. I send Maggie love and admiration. — \u003cstrong>Angel Luis Martinez\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My parents were hard-working immigrants from Nicaragua. While they eventually became somewhat fluent, I was the one they depended upon to navigate their dealings in their adopted country. It was always so interesting to hear the change of tone, clarification or additional information I would get once I took over, when they were having a hard time communicating with others. So sad that so many others did not have the benefit of a daughter who could go toe-to-toe with those who sought to take advantage of their lack of English-speaking skills! — \u003cstrong>Anita Martinez\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831211\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831211\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Anita-Carlos.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Anita-Carlos.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Anita-Carlos-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Anita-Carlos-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Anita-Carlos-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Anita-Carlos-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Anita Martinez (here with brother Carlos) recalls translating for her Nicaraguan parents, and observing the 'change of tone ... I would get once I took over, when they were having a hard time communicating with others.' \u003ccite>(Anita Martinez)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>I remember feeling frustrated and fearful trying to make sense of bills, notices, and other official documents. At the same time, there was such an acute awareness that I had to do it. I remember accompanying my parents to health care appointments to fill out forms and translate. I don’t ever recall anyone questioning it. Why did that ever seem acceptable? I’m now a health care professional and it’s one reason I feel so strongly about advocating for appropriate and consistent access to language resources. It’s not OK for a child to be in a position to interpret important information for others. Our immigrant parents deserve better. — \u003cstrong>Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the '90s, medical letters were sent in English only, so imagine having to translate life-changing medical notices at 8 years old to your parents. It took advocates years of fighting for language access to be available in publicly funded places like rec centers, libraries, public transit, DMVs, public hospitals, etc in San Francisco. As a kid of monolingual immigrant parents, you learn early on how to navigate large institutions like courts, hospitals, schools, etc. It's a feeling that never leaves you. You witness at a young age how these institutions make your relatives matter less just because they don't speak English. You grow up with a \"get shit done because no one else will help you\" mentality. More people need to know our stories. Having language access allows for immigrant communities to thrive and regain agency. — \u003cstrong>Vida\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003ca id=\"resources\">\u003c/a>Multilingual Resources for Families\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>COVID-19 Information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The CDC's website is available in Spanish \u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/spanish/\">here\u003c/a>. The organization also has printable information about the coronavirus and preventing the spread of COVID-19 available in 64 languages \u003ca href=\"https://wwwn.cdc.gov/pubs/other-languages?Sort=Lang%3A%3Aasc\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED en Español\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We have coronavirus information, guides and advice available in Spanish \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/elcoronavirus\">here\u003c/a>. Sign up for the bilingual \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/elcoronavirus\">newsletter\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Legal Assistance\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.centrolegal.org/\">Centro Legal de la Raza\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Financial\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://missionassetfund.org/immigrant-families-grant/\">Mission Asset Fund's Immigrant Families Fund\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Housing & Shelter\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://baylegal.org/homepage/baylegals-covid-19-response/resources-and-news-for-tenants-during-the-covid-19-emergency/\">Bay Area Legal Aid's 'How to Protect Yourself If You Can’t Pay Rent On-Time During the Emergency' guide \u003c/a>is available in:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://baylegal.org/covid-19-protecciones-para-inquilinos/\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://baylegal.org/covid-19-bao-ve-nguoi-thue-nha/\">Trong tiếng việt\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://baylegal.org/covid-19%e6%96%b0%e5%86%a0%e7%97%85%e6%af%92-%e7%a7%9f%e5%ae%a2%e4%bf%9d%e9%9a%9c/\">用中文（表達\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tenants Rights Consultation\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\n\u003ca href=\"https://www.centrolegal.org/tenants-rights/\">Centro Legal de la Raza\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Free Shelters in San Francisco via \u003ca href=\"http://www.freeprintshop.org/\">Free Print Shop\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://www.freeprintshop.org/download/shelter_english.pdf\">English \u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://www.freeprintshop.org/download/shelter_spanish.pdf\">Español \u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bay Area Newspapers and Media\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>El Tecolote\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://eltecolote.org/content/en/\">English\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://eltecolote.org/content/es/\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>El Tímpano\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://www.eltimpano.org/\">English\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://www.eltimpano.org/pagina-de-inicio\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>The Oaklandside\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://oaklandside.org/\">English\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://oaklandside.org/tag/en-espanol/\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Mission Local\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://missionlocal.org/\">English \u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://missionlocal.org/es/\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>El Observador\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://el-observador.com/\">English + español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Univision KDTF\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://www.univision.com/local/san-francisco-kdtv\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Kstati\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://issuu.com/kstatinews\">Pусский\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>KTSF\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ktsf.com/\">中國傳統的\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Immigration/Migration\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">State of California's COVID-19 Guide for Immigrant Californians\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://files.covid19.ca.gov/pdf/wp/listos_covid_19_immigrant_guidance_es_daf.pdf\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://files.covid19.ca.gov/pdf/wp/covid-19-immigrant-guidance_ch-traditional-accessible-2.pdf\">中國傳統的\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://files.covid19.ca.gov/pdf/COVID_immigrant_guidance-zh-Hans.pdf\">简体中文\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://files.covid19.ca.gov/pdf/COVID_immigrant_guidance-ko.pdf\">한국어\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://files.covid19.ca.gov/pdf/COVID_immigrant_guidance_Tagalog.pdf\">Tagalog\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://files.covid19.ca.gov/pdf/COVID_immigrant_guidance_Vietnamese.pdf\">Tiếng Việt\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://carecensf.org/\">Carecen SF\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Many kids grow up acting as a translator or interpreter for their families. Here are your stories.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1596151352,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":52,"wordCount":2956},"headData":{"title":"'I Had to Stand Up for My Parents': Your Childhood Memories of Translating for Family | KQED","description":"Many kids grow up acting as a translator or interpreter for their families. These are your stories.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11830886 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11830886","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2020/07/30/i-had-to-stand-up-for-my-parents-your-childhood-memories-of-translating-for-family/","disqusTitle":"'I Had to Stand Up for My Parents': Your Childhood Memories of Translating for Family","path":"/news/11830886/i-had-to-stand-up-for-my-parents-your-childhood-memories-of-translating-for-family","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>When a 10-year-old girl named Maggie \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/forum/2010101878641/coronavirus-disproportinately-hits-latinos-in-california\">called KQED Forum\u003c/a> recently to ask a COVID-19 question on behalf of her parents, thousands of listeners heard her interpret from Spanish to English live on air — and recognized their own childhood in that moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>KQED's Adriana Morga was one of them. And when she \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11829745/when-a-10-year-old-translated-for-her-parents-on-live-radio-thousands-recognized-themselves\">wrote a story\u003c/a> about that experience, and how Maggie's call \"represented the epitome of what immigrant children have to do in order to get information to their parents,\" it struck another chord with our readers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/11829745/when-a-10-year-old-translated-for-her-parents-on-live-radio-thousands-recognized-themselves#hearken\">We asked you\u003c/a> whether Maggie's story reminded you of your own experiences growing up. The stories you sent were moving, proud, painful, bittersweet and frank, each one emphasizing the shared aspects that unite your experiences across place and culture.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11829854\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11829854\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Maggie1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Maggie1.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Maggie1-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Maggie1-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Maggie1-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Maggie1-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Maggie Carillo, who called KQED Forum to ask a coronavirus question on behalf of her parents \u003ccite>(Courtesy Rosibel Vazquez Alvarado)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Your stories also reveal the full responsibility young multilingual family members now face while navigating the coronavirus crisis on behalf of their loved ones — and the sheer weight of that potentially lifesaving role. That's why we've collected \u003ca href=\"#resources\">a list of resources\u003c/a> to support kids like Maggie, or any families looking for multilingual information about COVID-19.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Scroll to read your stories and find those resources.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Some of these responses have been edited for length.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Being someone like Maggie for your family can be a heavy responsibility...\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>When I saw the tweet about Maggie, I cried. It was the first time I have ever heard or read anything in my whole life that so completely resonated with my experience as a young immigrant child translating for my mother. We immigrated to the Peninsula Bay Area when I was 5 years old, from Ukraine. I made so many calls, sent so many messages, did so many tasks as a kid that required me to translate between Ukrainian and English. These experiences forced me and many other kids to grow up too quickly. It’s now only exacerbated during these tumultuous times. Now I work in the state Legislature, hoping to be a part of improving how information is shared with all communities in our state, especially those most in need like Maggie’s family. — \u003cstrong>Anya\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I could share so many stories of parent/teacher conferences, doctor's visits, immigration appointments or visits from the landlord (among other things) when I would hear the familiar \"Ven, ven, Marisol... Dime qué dijo.\" Over the years, I picked up on certain words that I knew were important to know in preparation for these encounters, but there was always that moment of panic when an unfamiliar word would pop up. I would immediately imagine the possibility of being held back a grade, or having to pay extra for something, or leading to a misdiagnosis. Nothing that bad ever happened, but that pressure was always present. (As a teacher) my hope now is to be a part of and create learning communities and spaces where our students and our families can engage without having to imagine worst-case scenarios. — \u003cstrong>Marisol\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831200\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831200\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Glenda.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Glenda.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Glenda-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Glenda-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Glenda-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Glenda-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">'Being the child of an immigrant always comes with its own series of 'club rules',' said Glenda Cota, who grew up supporting her family with her language skills. \u003ccite>(Glenda Cota)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>...but for many, there are positive memories and pride\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Being the child of an immigrant always comes with its own series of \"club rules.\" If you know them, you know them. It’s a hard club to be a part of at times, but I’m happy to be a part of it. I’m happy to sacrifice my time and energy to an immigrant parent who has sacrificed so much, for me to be American. — \u003cstrong>Glenda Cota\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(At 8 years old) I had to go to my grandmother's doctor's appointments specifically to translate. It was just her and I, navigating our way through public transportation. I was intimidated by the front desk ladies, and scared of hospitals, afraid to miss important information to translate. However I was proud to stick up for my grandmother (the staff was not always kind) and be able to help her. To this day I still feel the same compassion to help translate for co-workers, family members and strangers that I see that need help. We all need the power of information. — \u003cstrong>Zara\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There was a period of time where I resented it a bit, because I felt like I was forced to grow up very quickly in order to help out when my parents didn't understand something. However, I learned to embrace my role because it was my way of giving back to my parents, for all that they have done for me. Growing up under the circumstances that I did is what forged the distinct Chicanx identity I have today. I knew what I was doing was important and bigger than me. I was helping my family navigate a system that I'd later learn was tricky and discriminatory. — \u003cstrong>Omar Vega\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831201\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831201\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Omar.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Omar.jpeg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Omar-800x539.jpeg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Omar-1020x687.jpeg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Omar-160x108.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Omar-1536x1035.jpeg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">'Growing up under the circumstances that I did is what forged the distinct Chicanx identity I have today,' said Omar Vega, pictured here age 7. \u003ccite>(Omar Vega)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>Your childhood experiences can steer your career path\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>My Vietnamese refugee parents resettled in Santa Ana, California after fleeing from the Vietnam War. Growing up, I translated documents for my parents and helped them navigate life here in the United States. I learned how to be an advocate at an early age because I had to stand up for my parents when I saw them experience discrimination. I am the first in my family to pursue a Master's degree and I chose to work in education because I want to work with youth who have gone through similar experiences. I want them to know that coming from an immigrant family is their superpower and to encourage them to keep advocating for their families even when times are hard. I also want to challenge our government agencies to be more inclusive of these immigrant experiences. Having translated documents is just the bare minimum. — \u003cstrong>Kathy Tran\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831202\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831202\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Kathy-Tran.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Kathy-Tran.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Kathy-Tran-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Kathy-Tran-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Kathy-Tran-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Kathy-Tran-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">'I learned how to be an advocate at an early age because I had to stand up for my parents when I saw them experience discrimination,' said Kathy Tran, pictured here with her father. \u003ccite>(Kathy Tran)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>When I was 14, I translated for my grandmother when she was battling cancer. That experience has left an indelible mark on my life. Because of those early experiences translating for my family, I have pursued a career in science, and am now working on my masters in public health at UC Berkeley and applying to medical school. — \u003cstrong>Daniel Mota\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I began interpreting for my parents as a child at school, stores, doctor's offices and pretty much anywhere my parents needed services. Both my parents are indigenous Mexicans, whose primary language is Mixteco and secondary language is Spanish. I was raised speaking Spanish, and so I primarily interpreted from English to Spanish and vice versa. I have dedicated my entire life to advocate for those that can’t be heard, and today I’m a proud co-founder of Herencia Indigena (Indigenous Heritage). We specialize in training trilingual individuals to become qualified advocates/interpreters for hospitals, clinics and government agencies both private and public. — \u003cstrong>Irebid Gilbert\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831203\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831203\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Daniel-Mota.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Daniel-Mota.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Daniel-Mota-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Daniel-Mota-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Daniel-Mota-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Daniel-Mota-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Translating for his grandmother during her cancer treatment 'left an indelible mark on my life,' said Daniel Mota, and led him into the career path he's pursuing today. \u003ccite>(Daniel Mota)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>For many, there's a standout memory that lingers\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>As a second-generation Vietnamese American, my parents relied on me often to look over everything from utility bills to dealing with landlords. One moment stands out to me when I was a teenager and having to write a letter to appeal to the landlord who wanted to take my family's whole security deposit, which would have been a lot of money. I remember trying to use everything I learned in English composition classes to write this letter, and I recall feeling a great sense of justice. We didn't end up getting that security deposit back, but I'm glad I was able to help my parents regardless. — \u003cstrong>Jeannie Pham\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I was six-years-old, I traveled to Mexico with my grandmother. Upon our return we were held at immigration at LAX and the TSA agents expected me, a six-year-old child, to explain my grandmother’s immigration status and to translate a very complex conversation using words I had never heard before. It was so scary. I did my best because I was worried my grandmother would be deported, because I was told by the TSA agent if my grandmother could not give them the information they needed she would be sent back to Mexico. I did not completely comprehend everything that was being said, yet I was expected to translate. — \u003cstrong>Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831204\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831204\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Irebid.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Irebid.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Irebid-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Irebid-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Irebid-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Irebid-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Interpreting for her Indigenous Mexican parents led Irebid Gilbert (right, with siblings Vianey and Judith) on the career path she has today. \u003ccite>(Irebid Gilbert)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>My mother had a court date for a traffic citation (come to think of it, this may be where my fear of public speaking began). She took me as the designated interpreter. As I stood before the judge and hearing mother tell me \"dile, dile lo que te dije\" (tell him, tell him what I told you), I froze. When I finally spoke, my voice was low and timid. I no longer recall what I said but luckily the judge sympathized with me. He asked me my age (I must have been 13 or 14 at the time) and then proceeded to tell me there were careers in the future for me. Nevertheless, the look I got from my mother told me I had failed. Many years later, I did in fact become a trained interpreter. Although that particular memory is bittersweet, I recognize the dire need for my mother to want to relay her thoughts and emotions, something perhaps she felt only a family member could do. — \u003cstrong>Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the most memorable (recollections) was how my mother loved the show \"Friends,\" but did not understand a lot of the jokes. So I would translate it for her. — \u003cstrong>Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831205\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831205\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Sally.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Sally.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Sally-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Sally-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Sally-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Sally-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">As a child, Sally Seraphin translated for Haitian relatives who were newly arrived in the U.S. With COVID-19, she said, the responsibility of kids doing this kind of work for families 'is doubly hard.' \u003ccite>(Sally Seraphin)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>One summer day, when I was 9, I was home alone with my mom. That's why, when the phone rang and it was her boss, she asked me to translate for her. I introduced myself to the man on the other end of the phone and he brusquely, and without preamble, said \"Tell your mom I'm laying her off, so she doesn't have to come to work on Monday.\" I didn't know what that meant so I asked him if she could go on Tuesday. — \u003cstrong>Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>You frequently tackled complex adult administrative work...\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>As a young girl, I often translated for Haitian relatives who were newly arrived in the U.S. I would take them on rounds to all the usual places one needs to go in order to get established in a new land, such as the Social Security Administration. It taught me a sort of resourcefulness and built my resilience, but it was also a challenging burden for someone so young. Under normal circumstances, the life of an immigrant child is not carefree and often complicated by real economic hardship. With COVID their work is doubly hard. Immigrant children and families deserve better support. — \u003cstrong>Sally Seraphin\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831206\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831206\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Elodia.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Elodia.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Elodia-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Elodia-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Elodia-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Elodia-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Elodia Caballero said she began supporting her parents with her language skills 'as soon as I learned to write and read in English.' \u003ccite>(Elodia Caballero)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>As soon as I learned to write and read in English, it was my responsibility to fill out applications and write letters of earned household income so my siblings and I could get Medicaid. I was also responsible for reading all government and official documents for my family. I had a hard time reading the documents, and don't know if I told them the right thing every time. — \u003cstrong>Elodia Caballero\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As the oldest kid, just having turned 13 when we arrived (in San Francisco from Mexico in 1984), I remember the many times I translated for my parents things that children should not be aware or exposed to. My mother became pregnant shortly after our arrival and I had to go to her medical appointments and translate. One time I had to translate the risk of her pregnancy and the possibility that her baby in the womb might have Down syndrome. Even as a teen or young adult, translating legal and financial issues is intense as one becomes fully aware of the fragility of our family’s situation. — \u003cstrong>Maru Salazar\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831209\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831209\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Angel-and-Manuel.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Angel-and-Manuel.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Angel-and-Manuel-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Angel-and-Manuel-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Angel-and-Manuel-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Angel-and-Manuel-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Angel Luis Martinez, now 80 (pictured here around the age of 12 with his uncle Manuel) said navigating the attitudes of U.S. officials after he and his family arrived from Puerto Rico left 'a bitter taste in my soul.' \u003ccite>(Angel Luis Martinez)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003ch3>...and you learned a lot about adult systems of power and discrimination\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>I am 80 years old and arrived in NYC from Puerto Rico in 1947. I was the oldest child in our family and the first one to learn English. I still have a bitter taste in my soul from having to translate the scorn of the then-called \"home relief\" (later welfare, later AFDC) workers who queried every aspect of our lives. I send Maggie love and admiration. — \u003cstrong>Angel Luis Martinez\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My parents were hard-working immigrants from Nicaragua. While they eventually became somewhat fluent, I was the one they depended upon to navigate their dealings in their adopted country. It was always so interesting to hear the change of tone, clarification or additional information I would get once I took over, when they were having a hard time communicating with others. So sad that so many others did not have the benefit of a daughter who could go toe-to-toe with those who sought to take advantage of their lack of English-speaking skills! — \u003cstrong>Anita Martinez\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11831211\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 1900px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11831211\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Anita-Carlos.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1900\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Anita-Carlos.jpg 1900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Anita-Carlos-800x539.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Anita-Carlos-1020x687.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Anita-Carlos-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2020/07/Anita-Carlos-1536x1035.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1900px) 100vw, 1900px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Anita Martinez (here with brother Carlos) recalls translating for her Nicaraguan parents, and observing the 'change of tone ... I would get once I took over, when they were having a hard time communicating with others.' \u003ccite>(Anita Martinez)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>I remember feeling frustrated and fearful trying to make sense of bills, notices, and other official documents. At the same time, there was such an acute awareness that I had to do it. I remember accompanying my parents to health care appointments to fill out forms and translate. I don’t ever recall anyone questioning it. Why did that ever seem acceptable? I’m now a health care professional and it’s one reason I feel so strongly about advocating for appropriate and consistent access to language resources. It’s not OK for a child to be in a position to interpret important information for others. Our immigrant parents deserve better. — \u003cstrong>Anonymous\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the '90s, medical letters were sent in English only, so imagine having to translate life-changing medical notices at 8 years old to your parents. It took advocates years of fighting for language access to be available in publicly funded places like rec centers, libraries, public transit, DMVs, public hospitals, etc in San Francisco. As a kid of monolingual immigrant parents, you learn early on how to navigate large institutions like courts, hospitals, schools, etc. It's a feeling that never leaves you. You witness at a young age how these institutions make your relatives matter less just because they don't speak English. You grow up with a \"get shit done because no one else will help you\" mentality. More people need to know our stories. Having language access allows for immigrant communities to thrive and regain agency. — \u003cstrong>Vida\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003ca id=\"resources\">\u003c/a>Multilingual Resources for Families\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>COVID-19 Information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The CDC's website is available in Spanish \u003ca href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/spanish/\">here\u003c/a>. The organization also has printable information about the coronavirus and preventing the spread of COVID-19 available in 64 languages \u003ca href=\"https://wwwn.cdc.gov/pubs/other-languages?Sort=Lang%3A%3Aasc\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED en Español\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We have coronavirus information, guides and advice available in Spanish \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/elcoronavirus\">here\u003c/a>. Sign up for the bilingual \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/elcoronavirus\">newsletter\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Legal Assistance\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.centrolegal.org/\">Centro Legal de la Raza\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Financial\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://missionassetfund.org/immigrant-families-grant/\">Mission Asset Fund's Immigrant Families Fund\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Housing & Shelter\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://baylegal.org/homepage/baylegals-covid-19-response/resources-and-news-for-tenants-during-the-covid-19-emergency/\">Bay Area Legal Aid's 'How to Protect Yourself If You Can’t Pay Rent On-Time During the Emergency' guide \u003c/a>is available in:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://baylegal.org/covid-19-protecciones-para-inquilinos/\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://baylegal.org/covid-19-bao-ve-nguoi-thue-nha/\">Trong tiếng việt\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://baylegal.org/covid-19%e6%96%b0%e5%86%a0%e7%97%85%e6%af%92-%e7%a7%9f%e5%ae%a2%e4%bf%9d%e9%9a%9c/\">用中文（表達\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tenants Rights Consultation\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\n\u003ca href=\"https://www.centrolegal.org/tenants-rights/\">Centro Legal de la Raza\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Free Shelters in San Francisco via \u003ca href=\"http://www.freeprintshop.org/\">Free Print Shop\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://www.freeprintshop.org/download/shelter_english.pdf\">English \u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://www.freeprintshop.org/download/shelter_spanish.pdf\">Español \u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bay Area Newspapers and Media\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>El Tecolote\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://eltecolote.org/content/en/\">English\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://eltecolote.org/content/es/\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>El Tímpano\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://www.eltimpano.org/\">English\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://www.eltimpano.org/pagina-de-inicio\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>The Oaklandside\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://oaklandside.org/\">English\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://oaklandside.org/tag/en-espanol/\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Mission Local\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://missionlocal.org/\">English \u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://missionlocal.org/es/\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>El Observador\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://el-observador.com/\">English + español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Univision KDTF\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://www.univision.com/local/san-francisco-kdtv\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Kstati\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://issuu.com/kstatinews\">Pусский\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>KTSF\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ktsf.com/\">中國傳統的\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Immigration/Migration\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">State of California's COVID-19 Guide for Immigrant Californians\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://files.covid19.ca.gov/pdf/wp/listos_covid_19_immigrant_guidance_es_daf.pdf\">Español\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://files.covid19.ca.gov/pdf/wp/covid-19-immigrant-guidance_ch-traditional-accessible-2.pdf\">中國傳統的\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://files.covid19.ca.gov/pdf/COVID_immigrant_guidance-zh-Hans.pdf\">简体中文\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://files.covid19.ca.gov/pdf/COVID_immigrant_guidance-ko.pdf\">한국어\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://files.covid19.ca.gov/pdf/COVID_immigrant_guidance_Tagalog.pdf\">Tagalog\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"https://files.covid19.ca.gov/pdf/COVID_immigrant_guidance_Vietnamese.pdf\">Tiếng Việt\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://carecensf.org/\">Carecen SF\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11830886/i-had-to-stand-up-for-my-parents-your-childhood-memories-of-translating-for-family","authors":["3243","11357"],"categories":["news_457","news_1169","news_8"],"tags":["news_18538","news_2043","news_18143","news_20202","news_17762","news_28331"],"featImg":"news_11831199","label":"news"},"news_11820290":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11820290","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11820290","score":null,"sort":[1590529514000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"it-was-hell-when-both-parents-get-covid-19","title":"'It Was Hell': When Both Parents Get COVID-19","publishDate":1590529514,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED News","labelTerm":{},"content":"\u003cp>In early April, as coronavirus outbreaks spread rapidly across the San Francisco Bay Area, Lorena found herself trapped in her apartment obsessively disinfecting surfaces, wearing gloves to cook meals and abstaining from holding her own two children.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Both Lorena and her husband, Jorge, had tested positive for COVID-19.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It was hell, to be honest with you,” said Lorena, 30, who works as a receptionist at a doctor’s office.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>KQED is only using Lorena's first name because she worries her daughter will be bullied if classmates learn both of her parents were diagnosed with the disease.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lorena was terrified of transmitting the coronavirus to their 1-year-old son, who wheezes and needs an inhaler if he gets sick with a simple cold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But a doctor told Lorena and Jorge that their baby and 8-year-old daughter had likely already been exposed to the virus and they must quarantine together. The normally active family who loves spending weekends at parks suddenly found themselves confined to their three-bedroom apartment in Richmond.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The pandemic’s toll has disproportionately impacted Latinos statewide, who comprise more than half of all confirmed COVID-19 cases, according to the \u003ca href=\"https://www.cdph.ca.gov/Programs/CID/DCDC/Pages/COVID-19/Race-Ethnicity.aspx\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">California Department of Public Health\u003c/a>. Lorena’s story is one family’s nightmarish experience with recovering from the disease. But it also points to vulnerabilities many Latinos and others face as they get sick with the coronavirus.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The Ordeal Begins\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On March 21, Jorge came down with a bad cough, high fever and intense headaches. His sweat soaked through the bed sheets at night. Lorena's worry for her husband grew. [pullquote size=\"medium\" align=\"right\" citation=\"Lorena\"]\"It was hell, to be honest with you.\"[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doctors at Kaiser Permanente initially declined to test Jorge, 34, for COVID-19. At the time only a limited number of test kits were available in the Bay Area, and Contra Costa County public health officials \u003ca href=\"https://cchealth.org/coronavirus/pdf/Health-Alert-Coronavirus-2020-0320.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">recommended\u003c/a> tests be prioritized for the most vulnerable symptomatic patients, including those who were hospitalized.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Six days later, Jorge’s symptoms worsened. He landed in the emergency room at the Kaiser Permanente Richmond Medical Center. He was tested and confirmed positive for COVID-19. But doctors believed Jorge would recover on his own and sent him home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I did worry a lot because he had to sleep almost sitting down, he couldn't breathe when he would lay on his back,” said Lorena, a legal permanent resident originally from Mexico. “He'd cough so much that his chest wouldn't stop hurting all day.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lorena’s symptoms were relatively mild compared to her husband’s: light headaches, exhaustion and a loss of sense of smell and taste. She was able to cook and keep an eye on her kids at home. And she avoided hospitalization, as well as a potentially costly health care bill down the road.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unlike her husband, Lorena doesn’t have health insurance. Her employer, a workers' compensation doctor, doesn’t offer the benefit to her 12 employees, Lorena said. Under the Affordable Care Act, only businesses with 50 or more full-time employees may be \u003ca href=\"https://www.coveredca.com/forsmallbusiness/mandate/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">financially penalized\u003c/a> if they don’t offer health coverage.[aside tag=\"coronavirus,covid-19\" label=\"More coronavirus coverage\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Jorge has insurance through his maintenance job at a seniors apartment complex in San Francisco, Lorena is not on his plan because the premiums are too expensive, she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But her family’s income, about $60,000 per year, means Lorena earns too much to qualify for Medi-Cal, the state’s coverage for low-income people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Latinos Have Highest Uninsured Rates\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lorena's story is not uncommon. Latinos are more than twice as likely to be uninsured than other racial or ethnic groups in the state, according to a \u003ca href=\"https://healthpolicy.ucla.edu/publications/Documents/PDF/2019/LatinoInsurance-policybrief-aug2019.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">study\u003c/a> by the UCLA Center for Health Policy Research. That’s in part because only about a third of Latinos get their health coverage through an employer, the lowest job-based coverage of all racial or ethnic groups.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As the pandemic continues, the state has committed to covering the cost of COVID-19 testing and treatment for uninsured Californians who need it. The demand for that safety net may increase as the pandemic ravages the economy, and millions of Californians lose their jobs and health coverage for themselves, their \u003ca href=\"http://laborcenter.berkeley.edu/health-coverage-ca-workers-at-risk-of-job-loss-covid-19/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">spouses and their children\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still, it’s unclear how much medical treatment related to COVID-19 the state would ultimately pay for those who lack full coverage, said Anthony Wright, executive director of the consumer advocacy coalition \u003ca href=\"https://health-access.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Health Access California\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Frankly, if you end up in the ICU on a ventilator for a week, it may not cover the follow-up care afterwards,” Wright said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lorena said she used to be covered by Medi-Cal in the past. She has received medical care for years at the Lifelong Brookside \u003ca href=\"https://www.lifelongmedical.org/locations/our-locations/brookside-san-pablo-health-center.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">San Pablo Health Center\u003c/a>. Now that she’s uninsured, she pays for medical visits at the community clinic on a sliding scale. That's where she, and eventually her children, were tested for COVID-19 free of charge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In retrospect, Lorena said the risks of being uninsured weren’t top of mind while she was sick with the coronavirus, as her symptoms didn’t deteriorate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During the nearly three weeks it took for Lorena and Jorge to recover, they tried to stay away from their kids at home to avoid getting them infected. Their 8-year-old girl took on more responsibilities, helping to feed the baby, change his diapers and carry him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Having to do things that she shouldn't be doing ‘cause she's a kid,” Lorena said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lorena said she was overcome with sadness as the baby would stare out of the window and then come towards her and ask to be picked up, holding his little arms up. She told herself, as emotionally hurtful as it may be, she would not touch or hold her children, even when they were afraid, sad or worried.[pullquote size=\"medium\" align=\"right\" citation=\"Anthony Wright, executive director of Health Access California\"]\"Frankly, if you end up in the ICU on a ventilator for a week, it may not cover the follow-up care afterwards.\"[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“My daughter was scared when she heard that I was positive, too. And of course, she needed a hug,” she said. As she spoke, Lorena started to cry, and said, “We couldn’t give it to her. Not being able to hold the baby, it was just ... bad.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The family got by with Jorge’s paid leave from work. Lorena filed for disability. Her parents, both diabetics in their 50s, left bags of groceries at her door. While grateful for the help, she worried her mom and dad would contract the virus while at grocery stores or streets.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“This whole experience drains you mentally,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Recovered and Relieved\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lorena and Jorge are back at work. Both kids tested negative for COVID-19, Lorena said with relief.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But in some ways, the family is still dealing with the trauma of their experience. When Lorena and Jorge were finally able to touch their children without fear of getting them sick, their son wouldn’t let his parents hug him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I don’t know if the baby was mad, but he wouldn't want to come to us,” Lorena said. “I felt so bad. Like, ‘Hey, it wasn’t our fault.' \"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Their daughter is recovering emotionally from her fear her dad wasn’t going to make it. She recently told Lorena that she’d stay up at night, hearing her father’s labored breathing and coughing fits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I'm so happy my dad got better because I was really scared,” Lorena's daughter said.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Latinos represent more than half of California's confirmed COVID-19 cases. One family shares their nightmarish experience recovering from the disease.\r\n","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1590771787,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":37,"wordCount":1337},"headData":{"title":"'It Was Hell': When Both Parents Get COVID-19 | KQED","description":"Latinos represent more than half of California's confirmed COVID-19 cases. One family shares their nightmarish experience recovering from the disease.\r\n","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11820290 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11820290","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2020/05/26/it-was-hell-when-both-parents-get-covid-19/","disqusTitle":"'It Was Hell': When Both Parents Get COVID-19","source":"Coronavirus","audioUrl":"https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/0af137ef-751e-4b19-a055-aaef00d2d578/ffca7e9f-6831-41c5-bcaf-aaef00f5a073/720c3136-2581-4431-bfbb-abc701265828/audio.mp3","templateType":"standard","featuredImageType":"standard","path":"/news/11820290/it-was-hell-when-both-parents-get-covid-19","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In early April, as coronavirus outbreaks spread rapidly across the San Francisco Bay Area, Lorena found herself trapped in her apartment obsessively disinfecting surfaces, wearing gloves to cook meals and abstaining from holding her own two children.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Both Lorena and her husband, Jorge, had tested positive for COVID-19.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It was hell, to be honest with you,” said Lorena, 30, who works as a receptionist at a doctor’s office.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>KQED is only using Lorena's first name because she worries her daughter will be bullied if classmates learn both of her parents were diagnosed with the disease.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lorena was terrified of transmitting the coronavirus to their 1-year-old son, who wheezes and needs an inhaler if he gets sick with a simple cold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But a doctor told Lorena and Jorge that their baby and 8-year-old daughter had likely already been exposed to the virus and they must quarantine together. The normally active family who loves spending weekends at parks suddenly found themselves confined to their three-bedroom apartment in Richmond.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The pandemic’s toll has disproportionately impacted Latinos statewide, who comprise more than half of all confirmed COVID-19 cases, according to the \u003ca href=\"https://www.cdph.ca.gov/Programs/CID/DCDC/Pages/COVID-19/Race-Ethnicity.aspx\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">California Department of Public Health\u003c/a>. Lorena’s story is one family’s nightmarish experience with recovering from the disease. But it also points to vulnerabilities many Latinos and others face as they get sick with the coronavirus.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The Ordeal Begins\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On March 21, Jorge came down with a bad cough, high fever and intense headaches. His sweat soaked through the bed sheets at night. Lorena's worry for her husband grew. \u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"\"It was hell, to be honest with you.\"","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Lorena","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doctors at Kaiser Permanente initially declined to test Jorge, 34, for COVID-19. At the time only a limited number of test kits were available in the Bay Area, and Contra Costa County public health officials \u003ca href=\"https://cchealth.org/coronavirus/pdf/Health-Alert-Coronavirus-2020-0320.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">recommended\u003c/a> tests be prioritized for the most vulnerable symptomatic patients, including those who were hospitalized.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Six days later, Jorge’s symptoms worsened. He landed in the emergency room at the Kaiser Permanente Richmond Medical Center. He was tested and confirmed positive for COVID-19. But doctors believed Jorge would recover on his own and sent him home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I did worry a lot because he had to sleep almost sitting down, he couldn't breathe when he would lay on his back,” said Lorena, a legal permanent resident originally from Mexico. “He'd cough so much that his chest wouldn't stop hurting all day.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lorena’s symptoms were relatively mild compared to her husband’s: light headaches, exhaustion and a loss of sense of smell and taste. She was able to cook and keep an eye on her kids at home. And she avoided hospitalization, as well as a potentially costly health care bill down the road.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unlike her husband, Lorena doesn’t have health insurance. Her employer, a workers' compensation doctor, doesn’t offer the benefit to her 12 employees, Lorena said. Under the Affordable Care Act, only businesses with 50 or more full-time employees may be \u003ca href=\"https://www.coveredca.com/forsmallbusiness/mandate/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">financially penalized\u003c/a> if they don’t offer health coverage.\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"tag":"coronavirus,covid-19","label":"More coronavirus coverage "},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Jorge has insurance through his maintenance job at a seniors apartment complex in San Francisco, Lorena is not on his plan because the premiums are too expensive, she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But her family’s income, about $60,000 per year, means Lorena earns too much to qualify for Medi-Cal, the state’s coverage for low-income people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Latinos Have Highest Uninsured Rates\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lorena's story is not uncommon. Latinos are more than twice as likely to be uninsured than other racial or ethnic groups in the state, according to a \u003ca href=\"https://healthpolicy.ucla.edu/publications/Documents/PDF/2019/LatinoInsurance-policybrief-aug2019.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">study\u003c/a> by the UCLA Center for Health Policy Research. That’s in part because only about a third of Latinos get their health coverage through an employer, the lowest job-based coverage of all racial or ethnic groups.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As the pandemic continues, the state has committed to covering the cost of COVID-19 testing and treatment for uninsured Californians who need it. The demand for that safety net may increase as the pandemic ravages the economy, and millions of Californians lose their jobs and health coverage for themselves, their \u003ca href=\"http://laborcenter.berkeley.edu/health-coverage-ca-workers-at-risk-of-job-loss-covid-19/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">spouses and their children\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still, it’s unclear how much medical treatment related to COVID-19 the state would ultimately pay for those who lack full coverage, said Anthony Wright, executive director of the consumer advocacy coalition \u003ca href=\"https://health-access.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Health Access California\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Frankly, if you end up in the ICU on a ventilator for a week, it may not cover the follow-up care afterwards,” Wright said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lorena said she used to be covered by Medi-Cal in the past. She has received medical care for years at the Lifelong Brookside \u003ca href=\"https://www.lifelongmedical.org/locations/our-locations/brookside-san-pablo-health-center.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">San Pablo Health Center\u003c/a>. Now that she’s uninsured, she pays for medical visits at the community clinic on a sliding scale. That's where she, and eventually her children, were tested for COVID-19 free of charge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In retrospect, Lorena said the risks of being uninsured weren’t top of mind while she was sick with the coronavirus, as her symptoms didn’t deteriorate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During the nearly three weeks it took for Lorena and Jorge to recover, they tried to stay away from their kids at home to avoid getting them infected. Their 8-year-old girl took on more responsibilities, helping to feed the baby, change his diapers and carry him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Having to do things that she shouldn't be doing ‘cause she's a kid,” Lorena said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lorena said she was overcome with sadness as the baby would stare out of the window and then come towards her and ask to be picked up, holding his little arms up. She told herself, as emotionally hurtful as it may be, she would not touch or hold her children, even when they were afraid, sad or worried.\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"\"Frankly, if you end up in the ICU on a ventilator for a week, it may not cover the follow-up care afterwards.\"","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","citation":"Anthony Wright, executive director of Health Access California","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“My daughter was scared when she heard that I was positive, too. And of course, she needed a hug,” she said. As she spoke, Lorena started to cry, and said, “We couldn’t give it to her. Not being able to hold the baby, it was just ... bad.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The family got by with Jorge’s paid leave from work. Lorena filed for disability. Her parents, both diabetics in their 50s, left bags of groceries at her door. While grateful for the help, she worried her mom and dad would contract the virus while at grocery stores or streets.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“This whole experience drains you mentally,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Recovered and Relieved\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lorena and Jorge are back at work. Both kids tested negative for COVID-19, Lorena said with relief.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But in some ways, the family is still dealing with the trauma of their experience. When Lorena and Jorge were finally able to touch their children without fear of getting them sick, their son wouldn’t let his parents hug him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I don’t know if the baby was mad, but he wouldn't want to come to us,” Lorena said. “I felt so bad. Like, ‘Hey, it wasn’t our fault.' \"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Their daughter is recovering emotionally from her fear her dad wasn’t going to make it. She recently told Lorena that she’d stay up at night, hearing her father’s labored breathing and coughing fits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I'm so happy my dad got better because I was really scared,” Lorena's daughter said.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11820290/it-was-hell-when-both-parents-get-covid-19","authors":["8659"],"categories":["news_457","news_8"],"tags":["news_27350","news_27989","news_27504","news_18143","news_20605","news_2109"],"featImg":"news_11820767","label":"source_news_11820290"},"news_11793182":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11793182","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11793182","score":null,"sort":[1577570019000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"feeling-like-we-belong-u-s-adoptees-return-to-south-korea-to-trace-their-roots","title":"'Feeling Like We Belong': U.S. Adoptees Return to South Korea to Trace Their Roots","publishDate":1577570019,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED News","labelTerm":{},"content":"\u003cp>In September, Seattle resident Barbara Kim celebrated Chuseok — the Korean midautumn festival — with her family members in Seoul. Chuseok is a time to give thanks for plentiful harvests, and for Kim, who was adopted by an American family in the 1960s, this was a particularly special occasion: She was able to spend the holiday with several of her birth relatives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the celebration they, and a group of South Korean orphans now in their teens and 20s, dug into platters of bulgogi, kimbap, japche and other traditional Korean dishes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kim was among the first wave of a 200,000-strong exodus of adoptees, as South Korea became the world's first source of international adoptions. She was born in 1955, two years after the Korean War cease-fire.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In recent decades, adoptees like Kim have been returning to South Korea to find out more about where they come from, build ties with their birth families and connect with others with similar experiences.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After being separated from her three siblings for about half a century, Kim managed to track all of them down and reunite with them. She says they have overcome an initial sense of awkwardness in knowing one another and feel proud to be part of the same family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We have a lot in common, even though we grew up so far apart,\" she said. \"I feel like there's this sense of feeling like we belong.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Abandoned, then adopted\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Now 64, Kim was the eldest child born to impoverished parents at a time when South Korea was recovering from the conflict that killed millions and left about 100,000 children orphaned.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After giving birth, Kim's mother abandoned her in the hospital. Korean society traditionally \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5272884/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">prefers\u003c/a> boys over girls, and Kim was born with \u003ca href=\"https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hip-dysplasia/symptoms-causes/syc-20350209\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">hip dysplasia.\u003c/a> Kim's grandmother raised her until she was about 8. Her parents wanted nothing to do with her, and eventually, she was sent to an orphanage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside tag='identity' label='Related Coverage.']\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The orphanage was run by \u003ca href=\"https://www.holtinternational.org/historybg.shtml\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Harry Holt\u003c/a>, the American evangelical Christian who, with his wife Bertha, founded an international adoption agency that matched thousands of Korean orphans with parents in the U.S. in the 1950s and 1960s. A family of dairy farmers in Nebraska adopted Kim, but when they fell on hard times, she says, they vented their anger by abusing her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"And I remember one time thinking: 'Dear God, wasn't it bad enough I had a first mother that was so horrible? Did you have to bring me to a second mother that was like this?' \" Kim recalls.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kim later went into the U.S. foster care system. Studying became her refuge. She earned a bachelor's degree, then a master's degree and, after that, worked for the very adoption agency that sent her to the U.S.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\"For the first time, we're developing this relationship\"\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Despite the difficulties she faced growing up, Kim says she feels grateful for the opportunities that adoption by a U.S. family brought her — particularly when she considers the stigma and other challenges disabled people often contend with in South Korea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Others are still wrestling with their experience of adoption. Denver-based filmmaker Glenn Morey, who was adopted by an American family after he was abandoned as an infant in Seoul, interviewed 100 Korean orphans raised in the U.S. for \u003cem>Side by Side, \u003c/em>a \u003ca href=\"http://sidebysideproject.com/about\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">film project with his wife Julie Morey\u003cem>.\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite the diversity of adoptees' experiences, certain threads connect their stories, he says. Chief among these is \"a sense of loss, sadness and perhaps even trauma related to thinking about it, or remembering in some cases their time in Korea and how their lives got started.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One woman, born in 1979, told Morey: \"I feel like I was sold. I feel like I don't know who I am. I don't even know if my name is real or my birthdate is real.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another said, \"I never felt I was actually Asian until later on in life.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Kim first became acquainted with her siblings in South Korea in the 1970s, she didn't speak Korean and they didn't speak English. They found one another after one of her sisters happened to read a Korean magazine piece in which Kim had written about her life story. Through the magazine publisher, who contacted Kim's father, Kim, her sister and a brother were able to meet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After that, there were decades of little or no contact, and they only started to build their relationship in earnest over the past year, when Kim decided to spend more time in Seoul.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I decided that I wanted to stay here to learn the language so I can get to know my family,\" Kim explains, \"and for the first time, we're developing this relationship.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She and her sister and brother found another sister who had been placed in an orphanage. Nobody had adopted her, and she had gone to work in a factory.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Kim and her siblings visited her in 1978, \"They all cried to see me because maybe they thought I was not doing so well,\" the sister recalled at the Chuseok gathering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She asked that NPR not use her name because of the stigma of being an orphan in South Korea. \"But I just didn't feel anything, because I had lived my whole life thinking that I was alone. I didn't have anybody. So I just felt blank, empty.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\"Children who were not fully Korean would never be accepted\"\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Unlike Kim, many of South Korea's early adoptees were biracial children whose fathers were American GIs fighting in the Korean War.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a country that valued homogeneity, \"adoption initially was thought of as like the 'solution' to mixed-race children,\" says \u003ca href=\"https://faculty.sites.uci.edu/eleanakim/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Eleana Kim\u003c/a>, an anthropologist at the University of California, Irvine.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In its early years, the South Korean government crafted a narrative of a racially homogeneous nation, she says, \"the idea being that children who were not fully Korean would never be accepted in South Korean society. And the South Korean government realized that there was an interest among Americans to adopt these children.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">[pullquote size='medium' align='right']'I just didn't feel anything, because I had lived my whole life thinking that I was alone. I didn't have anybody. So I just felt blank, empty.'[/pullquote]\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 1965, Son Jeong-seon, then vice minister of welfare and society, \u003ca href=\"http://law.nanet.go.kr/lawservice/knowledgemanagement/knowledgemanagementView.do?searchCon=total&searchKey=&searchValue01=&searchValue02=&searchValue03=&code01=2&code02=MA&number01_str=6&number01_end=6&number02_str=48&number02_end=48&searchFromDate=&searchToDate=&pageUnit=10&pos=7&pageNum=1&cn=PROC2014010828&sort=SessDate_SORT&dir=reversealphabetical\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">told lawmakers \u003c/a>debating South Korea's adoption law: \"One can't help but feel ashamed by the fact that [an ethnic Korean] would get together with a foreign person and give birth to a baby that doesn't belong to our homogeneous people.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Critics of South Korea's adoption system say the government also sought to \"export\" other stigmatized groups, including disabled children or those born to unmarried women, via adoption.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There were also economic factors in play, says Eleana Kim, noting that South Korea spends less on social welfare than almost any other developed economy. \"Why do people believe that it's better to remove a child from its country of origin rather than to provide money for the parents who can't afford to raise it?\" she asks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many Korean adoptees were not truly orphans, she says. They were abandoned because their parents couldn't afford to raise them, and international adoptions allowed South Korea to shift some of its welfare burden overseas. Adoption agencies charged adoptive parents hefty \u003ca href=\"https://www.holtinternational.org/adoption/fees.php\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">fees\u003c/a>, which at times exceeded Korea's gross domestic product per capita.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\"A law that produces orphans\"\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\"We can ask if South Korea is fulfilling the state's duty to protect children, and the answer is pretty doubtful,\" says Kyung-eun Lee, the director of Amnesty International Korea and a former South Korean official who worked on adoption policy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lee says that according to international law, children must not be separated from their parents unless a court rules it's in the kids' interest. But South Korea, she said, leaves it to parents and adoption agencies to make the decisions, which South Korean courts simply rubber-stamp.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She argues that South Korea's government has allowed parents and adoption agencies to erase children's identities in order to make them more adoptable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"They were made orphans,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2013, South Korea's adoption law was revised, requiring all international adoptees to have family registration showing whom the birth parents are. This appears to have reduced abuses of the system, says Lee.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sung Changhyun, an official with South Korea's Ministry of Health and Welfare, told NPR via email that since the 2013 reforms, Korean courts have \"held adoption confirmation hearings with sufficient review and investigation required to approve adoptions.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sung did not respond to NPR's request for comment on allegations of birth record falsification.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since the 2013 reforms were enacted, South Korea's number of international adoptions has declined. There were 755 in 2012 and 303 last year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sung said the government will initiate additional reforms that \"will further strengthen public responsibility over the entire adoption procedure and establish adoption system that prioritizes children's interests.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While reforms have stopped the falsification of documents, Lee believes the government still fails to do an adequate job of protecting children's rights throughout the adoption process.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The [adoption] law, even after many amendments, to this day is basically still a law that produces orphans,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Feeling+Like+We+Belong%27%3A+U.S.+Adoptees+Return+To+South+Korea+To+Trace+Their+Roots&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"South Korea was once the largest source of children for international adoptions. Now some adoptees are building ties with birth family members. Critics say South Korean adoption laws need improvement.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1577570019,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":44,"wordCount":1592},"headData":{"title":"'Feeling Like We Belong': U.S. Adoptees Return to South Korea to Trace Their Roots | KQED","description":"South Korea was once the largest source of children for international adoptions. Now some adoptees are building ties with birth family members. Critics say South Korean adoption laws need improvement.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11793182 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11793182","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2019/12/28/feeling-like-we-belong-u-s-adoptees-return-to-south-korea-to-trace-their-roots/","disqusTitle":"'Feeling Like We Belong': U.S. Adoptees Return to South Korea to Trace Their Roots","source":"NPR","sourceUrl":"https://www.npr.org","nprByline":"\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/people/4458700/anthony-kuhn\">Anthony Kuhn\u003c/a>","nprImageAgency":"Grace Heejung Kim for NPR","nprStoryId":"775355015","nprApiLink":"http://api.npr.org/query?id=775355015&apiKey=MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004","nprHtmlLink":"https://www.npr.org/2019/12/27/775355015/feeling-like-we-belong-u-s-adoptees-return-to-south-korea-to-trace-their-roots?ft=nprml&f=775355015","nprRetrievedStory":"1","nprPubDate":"Fri, 27 Dec 2019 17:50:00 -0500","nprStoryDate":"Fri, 27 Dec 2019 16:27:00 -0500","nprLastModifiedDate":"Fri, 27 Dec 2019 19:41:03 -0500","nprAudio":"https://ondemand.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/atc/2019/12/20191227_atc_feeling_like_we_belong_us_adoptees_return_to_south_korea_to_trace_their_roots.mp3?orgId=1&topicId=1004&d=360&p=2&story=775355015&ft=nprml&f=775355015","nprAudioM3u":"http://api.npr.org/m3u/1791918174-e1bc54.m3u?orgId=1&topicId=1004&d=360&p=2&story=775355015&ft=nprml&f=775355015","audioTrackLength":361,"path":"/news/11793182/feeling-like-we-belong-u-s-adoptees-return-to-south-korea-to-trace-their-roots","audioUrl":"https://ondemand.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/atc/2019/12/20191227_atc_feeling_like_we_belong_us_adoptees_return_to_south_korea_to_trace_their_roots.mp3?orgId=1&topicId=1004&d=360&p=2&story=775355015&ft=nprml&f=775355015","parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In September, Seattle resident Barbara Kim celebrated Chuseok — the Korean midautumn festival — with her family members in Seoul. Chuseok is a time to give thanks for plentiful harvests, and for Kim, who was adopted by an American family in the 1960s, this was a particularly special occasion: She was able to spend the holiday with several of her birth relatives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the celebration they, and a group of South Korean orphans now in their teens and 20s, dug into platters of bulgogi, kimbap, japche and other traditional Korean dishes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kim was among the first wave of a 200,000-strong exodus of adoptees, as South Korea became the world's first source of international adoptions. She was born in 1955, two years after the Korean War cease-fire.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In recent decades, adoptees like Kim have been returning to South Korea to find out more about where they come from, build ties with their birth families and connect with others with similar experiences.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After being separated from her three siblings for about half a century, Kim managed to track all of them down and reunite with them. She says they have overcome an initial sense of awkwardness in knowing one another and feel proud to be part of the same family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We have a lot in common, even though we grew up so far apart,\" she said. \"I feel like there's this sense of feeling like we belong.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Abandoned, then adopted\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Now 64, Kim was the eldest child born to impoverished parents at a time when South Korea was recovering from the conflict that killed millions and left about 100,000 children orphaned.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After giving birth, Kim's mother abandoned her in the hospital. Korean society traditionally \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5272884/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">prefers\u003c/a> boys over girls, and Kim was born with \u003ca href=\"https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hip-dysplasia/symptoms-causes/syc-20350209\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">hip dysplasia.\u003c/a> Kim's grandmother raised her until she was about 8. Her parents wanted nothing to do with her, and eventually, she was sent to an orphanage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"tag":"identity","label":"Related Coverage. "},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The orphanage was run by \u003ca href=\"https://www.holtinternational.org/historybg.shtml\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Harry Holt\u003c/a>, the American evangelical Christian who, with his wife Bertha, founded an international adoption agency that matched thousands of Korean orphans with parents in the U.S. in the 1950s and 1960s. A family of dairy farmers in Nebraska adopted Kim, but when they fell on hard times, she says, they vented their anger by abusing her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"And I remember one time thinking: 'Dear God, wasn't it bad enough I had a first mother that was so horrible? Did you have to bring me to a second mother that was like this?' \" Kim recalls.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kim later went into the U.S. foster care system. Studying became her refuge. She earned a bachelor's degree, then a master's degree and, after that, worked for the very adoption agency that sent her to the U.S.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\"For the first time, we're developing this relationship\"\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Despite the difficulties she faced growing up, Kim says she feels grateful for the opportunities that adoption by a U.S. family brought her — particularly when she considers the stigma and other challenges disabled people often contend with in South Korea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Others are still wrestling with their experience of adoption. Denver-based filmmaker Glenn Morey, who was adopted by an American family after he was abandoned as an infant in Seoul, interviewed 100 Korean orphans raised in the U.S. for \u003cem>Side by Side, \u003c/em>a \u003ca href=\"http://sidebysideproject.com/about\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">film project with his wife Julie Morey\u003cem>.\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite the diversity of adoptees' experiences, certain threads connect their stories, he says. Chief among these is \"a sense of loss, sadness and perhaps even trauma related to thinking about it, or remembering in some cases their time in Korea and how their lives got started.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One woman, born in 1979, told Morey: \"I feel like I was sold. I feel like I don't know who I am. I don't even know if my name is real or my birthdate is real.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another said, \"I never felt I was actually Asian until later on in life.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Kim first became acquainted with her siblings in South Korea in the 1970s, she didn't speak Korean and they didn't speak English. They found one another after one of her sisters happened to read a Korean magazine piece in which Kim had written about her life story. Through the magazine publisher, who contacted Kim's father, Kim, her sister and a brother were able to meet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After that, there were decades of little or no contact, and they only started to build their relationship in earnest over the past year, when Kim decided to spend more time in Seoul.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I decided that I wanted to stay here to learn the language so I can get to know my family,\" Kim explains, \"and for the first time, we're developing this relationship.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She and her sister and brother found another sister who had been placed in an orphanage. Nobody had adopted her, and she had gone to work in a factory.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Kim and her siblings visited her in 1978, \"They all cried to see me because maybe they thought I was not doing so well,\" the sister recalled at the Chuseok gathering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She asked that NPR not use her name because of the stigma of being an orphan in South Korea. \"But I just didn't feel anything, because I had lived my whole life thinking that I was alone. I didn't have anybody. So I just felt blank, empty.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\"Children who were not fully Korean would never be accepted\"\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Unlike Kim, many of South Korea's early adoptees were biracial children whose fathers were American GIs fighting in the Korean War.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a country that valued homogeneity, \"adoption initially was thought of as like the 'solution' to mixed-race children,\" says \u003ca href=\"https://faculty.sites.uci.edu/eleanakim/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Eleana Kim\u003c/a>, an anthropologist at the University of California, Irvine.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In its early years, the South Korean government crafted a narrative of a racially homogeneous nation, she says, \"the idea being that children who were not fully Korean would never be accepted in South Korean society. And the South Korean government realized that there was an interest among Americans to adopt these children.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"'I just didn't feel anything, because I had lived my whole life thinking that I was alone. I didn't have anybody. So I just felt blank, empty.'","name":"pullquote","attributes":{"named":{"size":"medium","align":"right","label":""},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 1965, Son Jeong-seon, then vice minister of welfare and society, \u003ca href=\"http://law.nanet.go.kr/lawservice/knowledgemanagement/knowledgemanagementView.do?searchCon=total&searchKey=&searchValue01=&searchValue02=&searchValue03=&code01=2&code02=MA&number01_str=6&number01_end=6&number02_str=48&number02_end=48&searchFromDate=&searchToDate=&pageUnit=10&pos=7&pageNum=1&cn=PROC2014010828&sort=SessDate_SORT&dir=reversealphabetical\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">told lawmakers \u003c/a>debating South Korea's adoption law: \"One can't help but feel ashamed by the fact that [an ethnic Korean] would get together with a foreign person and give birth to a baby that doesn't belong to our homogeneous people.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Critics of South Korea's adoption system say the government also sought to \"export\" other stigmatized groups, including disabled children or those born to unmarried women, via adoption.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There were also economic factors in play, says Eleana Kim, noting that South Korea spends less on social welfare than almost any other developed economy. \"Why do people believe that it's better to remove a child from its country of origin rather than to provide money for the parents who can't afford to raise it?\" she asks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many Korean adoptees were not truly orphans, she says. They were abandoned because their parents couldn't afford to raise them, and international adoptions allowed South Korea to shift some of its welfare burden overseas. Adoption agencies charged adoptive parents hefty \u003ca href=\"https://www.holtinternational.org/adoption/fees.php\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">fees\u003c/a>, which at times exceeded Korea's gross domestic product per capita.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\"A law that produces orphans\"\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\"We can ask if South Korea is fulfilling the state's duty to protect children, and the answer is pretty doubtful,\" says Kyung-eun Lee, the director of Amnesty International Korea and a former South Korean official who worked on adoption policy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lee says that according to international law, children must not be separated from their parents unless a court rules it's in the kids' interest. But South Korea, she said, leaves it to parents and adoption agencies to make the decisions, which South Korean courts simply rubber-stamp.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She argues that South Korea's government has allowed parents and adoption agencies to erase children's identities in order to make them more adoptable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"They were made orphans,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2013, South Korea's adoption law was revised, requiring all international adoptees to have family registration showing whom the birth parents are. This appears to have reduced abuses of the system, says Lee.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sung Changhyun, an official with South Korea's Ministry of Health and Welfare, told NPR via email that since the 2013 reforms, Korean courts have \"held adoption confirmation hearings with sufficient review and investigation required to approve adoptions.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sung did not respond to NPR's request for comment on allegations of birth record falsification.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since the 2013 reforms were enacted, South Korea's number of international adoptions has declined. There were 755 in 2012 and 303 last year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sung said the government will initiate additional reforms that \"will further strengthen public responsibility over the entire adoption procedure and establish adoption system that prioritizes children's interests.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While reforms have stopped the falsification of documents, Lee believes the government still fails to do an adequate job of protecting children's rights throughout the adoption process.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The [adoption] law, even after many amendments, to this day is basically still a law that produces orphans,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Feeling+Like+We+Belong%27%3A+U.S.+Adoptees+Return+To+South+Korea+To+Trace+Their+Roots&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11793182/feeling-like-we-belong-u-s-adoptees-return-to-south-korea-to-trace-their-roots","authors":["byline_news_11793182"],"categories":["news_8"],"tags":["news_21690","news_18143","news_4035","news_23757","news_6148"],"featImg":"news_11793183","label":"source_news_11793182"},"news_11736901":{"type":"posts","id":"news_11736901","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"news","id":"11736901","score":null,"sort":[1554274896000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"childhood-poverty-californias-moral-outrage","title":"Childhood Poverty: California's 'Moral Outrage'","publishDate":1554274896,"format":"audio","headTitle":"Starting Blocks | The California Report | KQED News","labelTerm":{"term":72,"site":"news"},"content":"\u003cp>[dropcap]W[/dropcap]hen Norma Sandoval of Merced looks at her baby son Alex, and really stares into his eyes, she sees a wise, old man. His eyebrows have this way of zigging and then zagging, he sucks his lips into his mouth as if he is pondering the universe. He makes Sandoval laugh, because really, what could a four-month old be contemplating? For Sandoval, Alex is the best thing in her life, which is otherwise full of challenges.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like many first-time moms, Sandoval has been on a steep learning curve caring for Alex. She gets a lot of help from her own mother, who has eight other children, and from the child care workers who care for Alex while she finishes high school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sandoval’s mother was a teen when she had her, and despite swearing she wouldn’t do the same, here she is at 17 with a four-month old.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I would see all these mothers so young and I would be like, oh my god they’re so stupid, how did they get pregnant so early,” Sandoval said. She laughed and added, “and then I got pregnant and now I’m like them.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sandoval knows what everyone thinks of her being a teen mom, but she is resolute — she wants the best for her baby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His mom’s determination might mean Alex will have a very bright future ahead of him, but right now he is part of a statistic that doesn’t bode well for his life chances: \u003ca href=\"https://www.kidsdata.org/blog/?p=8727\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">43 percent of all children under three years-old in Merced county live in poverty\u003c/a>. Sandoval doesn’t know a single person her age who isn’t struggling to make ends meet. It’s just how life is, she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Poverty has long been a political football, and the current polarized climate lays bare the tussle. At one end, child poverty has been called a “moral outrage” by California’s progressive governor, Gavin Newsom, who has vowed to end it. At the other end of the political spectrum, Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson has said poverty is a “state of mind,” echoing the Trump administration position that government aid is not the answer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Almost two decades ago, Norma Sandoval was herself born into an impoverished family. Her father, an immigrant from Mexico, went off daily to work the fields and her mother ran an ad-hoc childcare service out of their tiny apartment, mostly to help other families so parents could go work in the fields while she looked after the children.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside label=\"The Starting Blocks Series\" tag=\"starting-blocks\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite both her parents working full-time much of her life, in her 17 years, Sandoval nor her parents have been able to climb above their challenging economic circumstances. So, like her mother before her, and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kidsdata.org/PovertyDeeperLook\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">285,162 parents statewide\u003c/a>, she too now raises her baby while living below the federal poverty line.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sandoval has all the usual concerns and anxieties of a 17-year-old, but on a recent Wednesday morning she was particularly worried about how many times Alex had pooped. Her brow was deeply creased as she discussed what to do with Emily Maltva, the lead teacher at the child development center that sits on the campus of Yosemite High School where Sandoval is a junior.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“He pooped like twice,” Sandoval told Maltva. “I changed him and then like 10 minutes later he pooped again.” Maltva reassured her that this was completely normal for a baby. Then Sandoval confessed that it wasn’t really the pooping that worried her. Diapers are expensive. Sandoval’s brow furrowed further.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We don’t have like that money or nothing,” she confessed. “But I don’t think money makes you a good mother or not,” she said, declaring that she was a very good mother for Alex. Not having money just makes things harder, Sandoval said as she prepared Alex for the half-hour trudge to her boyfriend's parents' apartment where they are currently living.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Child poverty in California is definitely a serious problem,” said Sara Kimberlin, senior policy analyst with the California Budget and Policy Center (CBPC).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s a problem that has gotten steadily worse over the years as the numbers of babies and children living in poverty has increased. The numbers are stark. One in five babies and toddlers in California were born into poverty in the last few years. That’s down from five years ago when one quarter of all babies statewide lived below the federal poverty line. In some places it is much higher, like Alex’s home, in Merced County, and the counties of Glenn, Colusa, Trinity and Tehama, where almost half of all babies born start life in impoverished families.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Is California's Housing Crisis to Blame?\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The earliest data on early childhood poverty came soon after standards for measuring poverty were first developed in the 1960s. By 1970 — one of the first years this data for young children was collected — about 14 percent of kids under five were poor in California. That number climbed steadily over the years. In 2012 it was 26 percent of all children statewide, according to Census and American Community Survey data.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More recent studies, like one from the San Francisco-based Center for the Next Generation, highlight the long-term economic threat posed by California's high rates of childhood poverty.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So how did the baby poverty numbers get so high? The answer has little to do with babies themselves. While the cost of diapers and infant formula has risen, Kimberlin points to macro-economic factors that have seen more families fall below the poverty line.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The CBPC's Kimberlin said California’s rising housing costs have perhaps been the biggest factor in pushing more families out from self sufficiency.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“From 2006 to 2016, rents in California rose by about three times as much median annual earnings for a full-time worker,” said Kimberlin. “That just creates a long-term problem where more and more families find themselves squeezed trying to cover their basic costs.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the 2008 subprime mortgage crisis hit, the number of California children under two-years-old in poverty climbed steeply, Kimberlin said. “The great recession definitely made things worse.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11737459\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11737459\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Alex-And-Mom-Mobile-800x544.jpg\" alt=\"Alex Sandoval, age four months, begins his day at a child care center with his mom, Norma, playing with one of his favorite toys. Norma attends Yosemite High School while Alex attends the child care center attached to the school.\" width=\"800\" height=\"544\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Alex-And-Mom-Mobile-800x544.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Alex-And-Mom-Mobile-160x109.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Alex-And-Mom-Mobile-1020x694.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Alex-And-Mom-Mobile-1200x816.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Alex-And-Mom-Mobile.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Alex Sandoval, age four months, begins his day at a child care center with his mom, Norma, playing with one of his favorite toys. Norma attends Yosemite High School while Alex attends the child care center attached to the school. \u003ccite>(Matt Rogers/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Kimberlin said the recession’s impact can be traced to the spike in impoverished babies and toddlers. One of the most decisive budget cuts in the years of the recession was to subsidized child care that the state of California provided for low-income families. So add to the stagnating wages and high housing costs the “shrinking availability of affordable childcare,” and Kimberlin said and you have “a perfect storm that really made it difficult for families with children to make ends meet.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yet during the years of the recession, many Californians suffered, and the worsening situation for the state’s youngest residents didn’t sound alarm bells. Many children who are now in elementary school were babies and toddlers during the recession. They missed out on quality early education as preschool seats disappeared after 2008, and parents had to figure out babysitting or drop out of the workforce. With less family income the nutrition they received in their critical early development years was likely poorer, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lori Turk of the Lucile Packard Foundation for Children’s Health (LPFCH) wonders why the moral outrage at the increasing child poverty numbers isn’t more widespread.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“One in five babies being born into poverty in California is just absolutely unforgivable,” Turk said. During the recession years, one quarter of all babies were born into poverty.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Perhaps the demographics of the impoverished babies and toddlers has something to do with the lack of attention and action. In California it’s disproportionately babies of color that are born into poverty, something Turk said has nothing to do with the babies themselves. “Really this is about historical discriminatory practices.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Each year Kidsdata, a project of LPFCH, releases a report documenting the number of children in poverty. Turk said the high numbers of children of color in poverty comes from the discrimination their parents have suffered over the years. “For housing, for employment, the parents may be treated differently,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It has been well documented that African-Americans, Latinos and other immigrant groups \u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2018/03/28/redlining-was-banned-50-years-ago-its-still-hurting-minorities-today/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.f359268f5cfc\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">have encountered redlining in housing\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.revealnews.org/article/for-people-of-color-banks-are-shutting-the-door-to-homeownership/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">banks not lending to them\u003c/a>, and \u003ca href=\"https://www.forbes.com/sites/eriksherman/2017/09/16/job-discrimination-against-blacks-and-latinos-has-changed-little-or-none-in-25-years/#8f4a5fc51e3e\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">outright discrimination in the job market\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turk said if a parent deals with discrimination when they try to rent a home, or in the job market, “there’s a trickle down effect [to] their babies and their children.” Unstable employment and housing “means then their babies are directly impacted by this,” Turk said.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Social Safety Net Helps\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>In California, poor families are not completely on their own. Experts estimate that the child poverty numbers would be almost 15 percent higher — around one in three kids — if it wasn’t for the social safety net, a tapestry of local, state and federal programs that give help to impoverished families. From Section 8 housing vouchers, to food stamps, cash aid and subsidized preschool, the welfare benefits in California are robust.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“There is funding for providing healthful food, milk or other dairy products. There’s subsidies for parent to make sure they’re in housing for their children. There are child care subsidies,” Turk said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She said these programs are clearly helping families from falling into complete disaster. Norma Sandoval agrees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“My mom she works, my dad works, my boyfriend’s parents they work, so no one would be able to watch the baby,” Sandoval said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She gets MediCal for her baby and food stamps, both state and federally funded programs. Her child care is also free, paid to her high school child care center by the state of California. But she's one of the lucky ones. \u003ca href=\"https://calbudgetcenter.org/resources/1-2-million-california-children-eligible-subsidized-child-care-not-receive-services-state-programs-2015/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">According to a 2016 report\u003c/a> from the California Budget and Policy Center, six out of seven parents eligible for child care subsidies did not get them, and the waiting list can be more than 1 million people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I think if I didn’t have child care I wouldn’t make it,” Sandoval said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11737401\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11737401\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Baby-in-Mirror-800x668.jpg\" alt=\"Merced County resident Norma Sandoval holds her four-month-old son, Alex.\" width=\"800\" height=\"668\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Baby-in-Mirror-800x668.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Baby-in-Mirror-160x134.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Baby-in-Mirror-1020x852.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Baby-in-Mirror-1200x1003.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Baby-in-Mirror.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Merced County resident Norma Sandoval holds her four-month-old son, Alex. \u003ccite>(Matt Rogers/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Despite the subsidies she gets, Sandoval still can’t buy all the basics for her baby. So she leans on her family, her unofficial safety net. She doesn’t pay rent to her boyfriend’s parents, and her own parents buy her extra food and the baby’s diapers, which add up to a lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And while the safety net that holds parents like Sandoval is working, it’s also a byzantine system to navigate. It’s something that Monika Grasley, president of a nonprofit community organization in Merced called Lifeline CDC, sees parents struggle with every day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I don’t understand why we have food stamps that allow us to buy junk food but do not provide diapers, it makes no sense to me,” Grasley said. “So what it encourages parents to do is sell their food stamps so they can purchase diapers for their babies.” And with less resources, parents tend to choose the cheapest food option for their children, which oftentimes have little nutritional value, she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Grasley said there are also many issues that impoverished families deal with for which government help is limited or nonexistent. Many that she works with don’t have transportation. They struggle to find child care, and some don’t even have a cell phone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s all about how do I survive, not how do I thrive,” Grasley said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Norma Sandoval herself grew up with very little. But she wants better for her baby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Slowly slowly we’re going to learn, slowly we’re going to get that help that we need to get a better life for us and our kids,” Sandoval said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so, on top of everything else she is juggling, Sandoval shows up to Yosemite High School which has a special program for teen moms like her. She’s got big dreams.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“My plan is to finish high school, go to college and be a nurse,” Sandoval said. She admits before getting pregnant she hated school and used to ditch classes often. Now she wouldn’t do that, “because I have a baby and I want a better life for him and me.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Note: This story is part of KQED's series \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/series/starting-blocks\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Starting Blocks\u003c/a>, which is examining the hurdles faced by California's kids, especially those in low income families.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Deepa Fernandes is an Early Childhood reporting fellow at Pacific Oaks College, which is funded in part by First 5 LA.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"A lack of affordable housing and scarce subsidized child care are two reasons why California has the nation's highest rate of child poverty.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1554831763,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":48,"wordCount":2267},"headData":{"title":"Childhood Poverty: California's 'Moral Outrage' | KQED","description":"A lack of affordable housing and scarce subsidized child care are two reasons why California has the nation's highest rate of child poverty.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11736901 https://ww2.kqed.org/news/?p=11736901","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2019/04/03/childhood-poverty-californias-moral-outrage/","disqusTitle":"Childhood Poverty: California's 'Moral Outrage'","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/RDnews/2019/04/FernandesBabyPovertypart1.mp3","nprByline":"\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/deepafern\">Deepa Fernandes\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>","audioTrackLength":312,"path":"/news/11736901/childhood-poverty-californias-moral-outrage","audioDuration":312000,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class=\"utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__dropcapShortcode__dropcap\">W\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>hen Norma Sandoval of Merced looks at her baby son Alex, and really stares into his eyes, she sees a wise, old man. His eyebrows have this way of zigging and then zagging, he sucks his lips into his mouth as if he is pondering the universe. He makes Sandoval laugh, because really, what could a four-month old be contemplating? For Sandoval, Alex is the best thing in her life, which is otherwise full of challenges.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like many first-time moms, Sandoval has been on a steep learning curve caring for Alex. She gets a lot of help from her own mother, who has eight other children, and from the child care workers who care for Alex while she finishes high school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sandoval’s mother was a teen when she had her, and despite swearing she wouldn’t do the same, here she is at 17 with a four-month old.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I would see all these mothers so young and I would be like, oh my god they’re so stupid, how did they get pregnant so early,” Sandoval said. She laughed and added, “and then I got pregnant and now I’m like them.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sandoval knows what everyone thinks of her being a teen mom, but she is resolute — she wants the best for her baby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His mom’s determination might mean Alex will have a very bright future ahead of him, but right now he is part of a statistic that doesn’t bode well for his life chances: \u003ca href=\"https://www.kidsdata.org/blog/?p=8727\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">43 percent of all children under three years-old in Merced county live in poverty\u003c/a>. Sandoval doesn’t know a single person her age who isn’t struggling to make ends meet. It’s just how life is, she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Poverty has long been a political football, and the current polarized climate lays bare the tussle. At one end, child poverty has been called a “moral outrage” by California’s progressive governor, Gavin Newsom, who has vowed to end it. At the other end of the political spectrum, Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson has said poverty is a “state of mind,” echoing the Trump administration position that government aid is not the answer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Almost two decades ago, Norma Sandoval was herself born into an impoverished family. Her father, an immigrant from Mexico, went off daily to work the fields and her mother ran an ad-hoc childcare service out of their tiny apartment, mostly to help other families so parents could go work in the fields while she looked after the children.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"aside","attributes":{"named":{"label":"The Starting Blocks Series ","tag":"starting-blocks"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite both her parents working full-time much of her life, in her 17 years, Sandoval nor her parents have been able to climb above their challenging economic circumstances. So, like her mother before her, and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kidsdata.org/PovertyDeeperLook\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">285,162 parents statewide\u003c/a>, she too now raises her baby while living below the federal poverty line.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sandoval has all the usual concerns and anxieties of a 17-year-old, but on a recent Wednesday morning she was particularly worried about how many times Alex had pooped. Her brow was deeply creased as she discussed what to do with Emily Maltva, the lead teacher at the child development center that sits on the campus of Yosemite High School where Sandoval is a junior.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“He pooped like twice,” Sandoval told Maltva. “I changed him and then like 10 minutes later he pooped again.” Maltva reassured her that this was completely normal for a baby. Then Sandoval confessed that it wasn’t really the pooping that worried her. Diapers are expensive. Sandoval’s brow furrowed further.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We don’t have like that money or nothing,” she confessed. “But I don’t think money makes you a good mother or not,” she said, declaring that she was a very good mother for Alex. Not having money just makes things harder, Sandoval said as she prepared Alex for the half-hour trudge to her boyfriend's parents' apartment where they are currently living.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Child poverty in California is definitely a serious problem,” said Sara Kimberlin, senior policy analyst with the California Budget and Policy Center (CBPC).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s a problem that has gotten steadily worse over the years as the numbers of babies and children living in poverty has increased. The numbers are stark. One in five babies and toddlers in California were born into poverty in the last few years. That’s down from five years ago when one quarter of all babies statewide lived below the federal poverty line. In some places it is much higher, like Alex’s home, in Merced County, and the counties of Glenn, Colusa, Trinity and Tehama, where almost half of all babies born start life in impoverished families.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Is California's Housing Crisis to Blame?\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The earliest data on early childhood poverty came soon after standards for measuring poverty were first developed in the 1960s. By 1970 — one of the first years this data for young children was collected — about 14 percent of kids under five were poor in California. That number climbed steadily over the years. In 2012 it was 26 percent of all children statewide, according to Census and American Community Survey data.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More recent studies, like one from the San Francisco-based Center for the Next Generation, highlight the long-term economic threat posed by California's high rates of childhood poverty.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So how did the baby poverty numbers get so high? The answer has little to do with babies themselves. While the cost of diapers and infant formula has risen, Kimberlin points to macro-economic factors that have seen more families fall below the poverty line.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The CBPC's Kimberlin said California’s rising housing costs have perhaps been the biggest factor in pushing more families out from self sufficiency.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“From 2006 to 2016, rents in California rose by about three times as much median annual earnings for a full-time worker,” said Kimberlin. “That just creates a long-term problem where more and more families find themselves squeezed trying to cover their basic costs.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the 2008 subprime mortgage crisis hit, the number of California children under two-years-old in poverty climbed steeply, Kimberlin said. “The great recession definitely made things worse.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11737459\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11737459\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Alex-And-Mom-Mobile-800x544.jpg\" alt=\"Alex Sandoval, age four months, begins his day at a child care center with his mom, Norma, playing with one of his favorite toys. Norma attends Yosemite High School while Alex attends the child care center attached to the school.\" width=\"800\" height=\"544\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Alex-And-Mom-Mobile-800x544.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Alex-And-Mom-Mobile-160x109.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Alex-And-Mom-Mobile-1020x694.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Alex-And-Mom-Mobile-1200x816.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Alex-And-Mom-Mobile.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Alex Sandoval, age four months, begins his day at a child care center with his mom, Norma, playing with one of his favorite toys. Norma attends Yosemite High School while Alex attends the child care center attached to the school. \u003ccite>(Matt Rogers/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Kimberlin said the recession’s impact can be traced to the spike in impoverished babies and toddlers. One of the most decisive budget cuts in the years of the recession was to subsidized child care that the state of California provided for low-income families. So add to the stagnating wages and high housing costs the “shrinking availability of affordable childcare,” and Kimberlin said and you have “a perfect storm that really made it difficult for families with children to make ends meet.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yet during the years of the recession, many Californians suffered, and the worsening situation for the state’s youngest residents didn’t sound alarm bells. Many children who are now in elementary school were babies and toddlers during the recession. They missed out on quality early education as preschool seats disappeared after 2008, and parents had to figure out babysitting or drop out of the workforce. With less family income the nutrition they received in their critical early development years was likely poorer, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lori Turk of the Lucile Packard Foundation for Children’s Health (LPFCH) wonders why the moral outrage at the increasing child poverty numbers isn’t more widespread.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“One in five babies being born into poverty in California is just absolutely unforgivable,” Turk said. During the recession years, one quarter of all babies were born into poverty.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Perhaps the demographics of the impoverished babies and toddlers has something to do with the lack of attention and action. In California it’s disproportionately babies of color that are born into poverty, something Turk said has nothing to do with the babies themselves. “Really this is about historical discriminatory practices.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Each year Kidsdata, a project of LPFCH, releases a report documenting the number of children in poverty. Turk said the high numbers of children of color in poverty comes from the discrimination their parents have suffered over the years. “For housing, for employment, the parents may be treated differently,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It has been well documented that African-Americans, Latinos and other immigrant groups \u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2018/03/28/redlining-was-banned-50-years-ago-its-still-hurting-minorities-today/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.f359268f5cfc\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">have encountered redlining in housing\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.revealnews.org/article/for-people-of-color-banks-are-shutting-the-door-to-homeownership/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">banks not lending to them\u003c/a>, and \u003ca href=\"https://www.forbes.com/sites/eriksherman/2017/09/16/job-discrimination-against-blacks-and-latinos-has-changed-little-or-none-in-25-years/#8f4a5fc51e3e\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">outright discrimination in the job market\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turk said if a parent deals with discrimination when they try to rent a home, or in the job market, “there’s a trickle down effect [to] their babies and their children.” Unstable employment and housing “means then their babies are directly impacted by this,” Turk said.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Social Safety Net Helps\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>In California, poor families are not completely on their own. Experts estimate that the child poverty numbers would be almost 15 percent higher — around one in three kids — if it wasn’t for the social safety net, a tapestry of local, state and federal programs that give help to impoverished families. From Section 8 housing vouchers, to food stamps, cash aid and subsidized preschool, the welfare benefits in California are robust.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“There is funding for providing healthful food, milk or other dairy products. There’s subsidies for parent to make sure they’re in housing for their children. There are child care subsidies,” Turk said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She said these programs are clearly helping families from falling into complete disaster. Norma Sandoval agrees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“My mom she works, my dad works, my boyfriend’s parents they work, so no one would be able to watch the baby,” Sandoval said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She gets MediCal for her baby and food stamps, both state and federally funded programs. Her child care is also free, paid to her high school child care center by the state of California. But she's one of the lucky ones. \u003ca href=\"https://calbudgetcenter.org/resources/1-2-million-california-children-eligible-subsidized-child-care-not-receive-services-state-programs-2015/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">According to a 2016 report\u003c/a> from the California Budget and Policy Center, six out of seven parents eligible for child care subsidies did not get them, and the waiting list can be more than 1 million people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I think if I didn’t have child care I wouldn’t make it,” Sandoval said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11737401\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-11737401\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Baby-in-Mirror-800x668.jpg\" alt=\"Merced County resident Norma Sandoval holds her four-month-old son, Alex.\" width=\"800\" height=\"668\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Baby-in-Mirror-800x668.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Baby-in-Mirror-160x134.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Baby-in-Mirror-1020x852.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Baby-in-Mirror-1200x1003.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2019/04/Baby-in-Mirror.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Merced County resident Norma Sandoval holds her four-month-old son, Alex. \u003ccite>(Matt Rogers/KQED)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Despite the subsidies she gets, Sandoval still can’t buy all the basics for her baby. So she leans on her family, her unofficial safety net. She doesn’t pay rent to her boyfriend’s parents, and her own parents buy her extra food and the baby’s diapers, which add up to a lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And while the safety net that holds parents like Sandoval is working, it’s also a byzantine system to navigate. It’s something that Monika Grasley, president of a nonprofit community organization in Merced called Lifeline CDC, sees parents struggle with every day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I don’t understand why we have food stamps that allow us to buy junk food but do not provide diapers, it makes no sense to me,” Grasley said. “So what it encourages parents to do is sell their food stamps so they can purchase diapers for their babies.” And with less resources, parents tend to choose the cheapest food option for their children, which oftentimes have little nutritional value, she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Grasley said there are also many issues that impoverished families deal with for which government help is limited or nonexistent. Many that she works with don’t have transportation. They struggle to find child care, and some don’t even have a cell phone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s all about how do I survive, not how do I thrive,” Grasley said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Norma Sandoval herself grew up with very little. But she wants better for her baby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Slowly slowly we’re going to learn, slowly we’re going to get that help that we need to get a better life for us and our kids,” Sandoval said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so, on top of everything else she is juggling, Sandoval shows up to Yosemite High School which has a special program for teen moms like her. She’s got big dreams.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“My plan is to finish high school, go to college and be a nurse,” Sandoval said. She admits before getting pregnant she hated school and used to ditch classes often. Now she wouldn’t do that, “because I have a baby and I want a better life for him and me.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Note: This story is part of KQED's series \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/news/series/starting-blocks\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Starting Blocks\u003c/a>, which is examining the hurdles faced by California's kids, especially those in low income families.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Deepa Fernandes is an Early Childhood reporting fellow at Pacific Oaks College, which is funded in part by First 5 LA.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/news/11736901/childhood-poverty-californias-moral-outrage","authors":["byline_news_11736901"],"programs":["news_72"],"series":["news_25328"],"categories":["news_1758","news_457","news_6266","news_8","news_13"],"tags":["news_25356","news_3921","news_20754","news_22569","news_2043","news_18143","news_19542","news_21358","news_1585","news_25327","news_17041"],"featImg":"news_11737448","label":"news_72"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.","airtime":"SUN 2pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Possible-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.possible.fm/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Possible"},"link":"/radio/program/possible","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/possible/id1677184070","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/730YpdUSNlMyPQwNnyjp4k"}},"1a":{"id":"1a","title":"1A","info":"1A is home to the national conversation. 1A brings on great guests and frames the best debate in ways that make you think, share and engage.","airtime":"MON-THU 11pm-12am","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/1a.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://the1a.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/1a","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=1188724250&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/1A-p947376/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510316/podcast.xml"}},"all-things-considered":{"id":"all-things-considered","title":"All Things Considered","info":"Every weekday, \u003cem>All Things Considered\u003c/em> hosts Robert Siegel, Audie Cornish, Ari Shapiro, and Kelly McEvers present the program's trademark mix of news, interviews, commentaries, reviews, and offbeat features. 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But is this once sleepy suburb ready for them?","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/American-Suburb-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"13"},"link":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?mt=2&id=1287748328","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/American-Suburb-p1086805/","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkMzMDExODgxNjA5"}},"baycurious":{"id":"baycurious","title":"Bay Curious","tagline":"Exploring the Bay Area, one question at a time","info":"KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Bay-Curious-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"\"KQED Bay Curious","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/baycurious","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"4"},"link":"/podcasts/baycurious","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bay-curious/id1172473406","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/500557090/bay-curious","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/category/bay-curious-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93dzIua3FlZC5vcmcvbmV3cy9jYXRlZ29yeS9iYXktY3VyaW91cy1wb2RjYXN0L2ZlZWQvcG9kY2FzdA","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/bay-curious","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/6O76IdmhixfijmhTZLIJ8k"}},"bbc-world-service":{"id":"bbc-world-service","title":"BBC World Service","info":"The day's top stories from BBC News compiled twice daily in the week, once at weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9pm-10pm, TUE-FRI 1am-2am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/BBC-World-Service-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/live:bbc_world_service","meta":{"site":"news","source":"BBC World Service"},"link":"/radio/program/bbc-world-service","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/global-news-podcast/id135067274?mt=2","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/BBC-World-Service-p455581/","rss":"https://podcasts.files.bbci.co.uk/p02nq0gn.rss"}},"code-switch-life-kit":{"id":"code-switch-life-kit","title":"Code Switch / Life Kit","info":"\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />","airtime":"SUN 9pm-10pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Code-Switch-Life-Kit-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/code-switch-life-kit","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/1112190608?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy9yc3MvcG9kY2FzdC5waHA_aWQ9NTEwMzEy","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3bExJ9JQpkwNhoHvaIIuyV","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510312/podcast.xml"}},"commonwealth-club":{"id":"commonwealth-club","title":"Commonwealth Club of California Podcast","info":"The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.","airtime":"THU 10pm, FRI 1am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.commonwealthclub.org/podcasts","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Commonwealth Club of California"},"link":"/radio/program/commonwealth-club","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/commonwealth-club-of-california-podcast/id976334034?mt=2","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5jb21tb253ZWFsdGhjbHViLm9yZy9hdWRpby9wb2RjYXN0L3dlZWtseS54bWw","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Commonwealth-Club-of-California-p1060/"}},"considerthis":{"id":"considerthis","title":"Consider This","tagline":"Make sense of the day","info":"Make sense of the day. Every weekday afternoon, Consider This helps you consider the major stories of the day in less than 15 minutes, featuring the reporting and storytelling resources of NPR. Plus, KQED’s Bianca Taylor brings you the local KQED news you need to know.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Consider-This-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"Consider This from NPR and KQED","officialWebsiteLink":"/podcasts/considerthis","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"7"},"link":"/podcasts/considerthis","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1503226625?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/coronavirusdaily","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5ucHIub3JnLzUxMDM1NS9wb2RjYXN0LnhtbA","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3Z6JdCS2d0eFEpXHKI6WqH"}},"forum":{"id":"forum","title":"Forum","tagline":"The conversation starts here","info":"KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9am-11am, 10pm-11pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"KQED Forum with Mina Kim and Alexis Madrigal","officialWebsiteLink":"/forum","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"8"},"link":"/forum","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kqeds-forum/id73329719","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM5NTU3MzgxNjMz","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/432307980/forum","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqedfm-kqeds-forum-podcast","rss":"https://feeds.megaphone.fm/KQINC9557381633"}},"freakonomics-radio":{"id":"freakonomics-radio","title":"Freakonomics Radio","info":"Freakonomics Radio is a one-hour award-winning podcast and public-radio project hosted by Stephen Dubner, with co-author Steve Levitt as a regular guest. 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