Loretta: I’m great gran. I’m 84 years old. Everybody calls me Lo.
What’s she like?
Jeffrey: She’s loving; she’s really open and accepting. She used to own a café a while back. She used to have a lot of different people come in. Remember, Lo, you told me that story when you were working, and then a whole bunch of drag queens came in, and they were having a good time and everything.
Did he miss anything in that story, Lo?
Lo: I had a restaurant for years. We had all sorts of people coming in there. This was in the '50s and '60s and '70s. We had soul food. I was raised up in Oklahoma; I learned how to cook back there. We had chittlins and barbeque, everything, around 2 o’clock after all the bars closed around town, everybody would come there, they partied and danced and did everything until daylight.
So you met drag queens and all kinds of different people in Fresno.
Lo: Oh yeah. I think I have been an open minded person. I always treated people like I wanted to be treated. That was just in me.
Jeffrey: She’s just so lovely. She just loves me being me. She just loves me being happy, you know.
How did you guys come to live together?
Lo: His mother, I raised her. When she had the babies, she handed them to me. I think she was about 16 when she had him.
Lo, what advice would you have for other families about their grandchildren if they are gay or lesbian?
Lo: I’d tell them, that’s still your child. If you love him, you’ll accept him, either way. He’s still a human being.
Jeffrey: I would tell them, maybe it’s in your religion to not love gay people, but maybe you could go against all the odds and just love your child. And they still really need you.
Is it in conflict with your beliefs to accept your gay great-grandson?
Lo: It could be, but he’s just my grandkid, the way it is with me.
Do you ever worry about Jeffrey?
Lo: Yes, I do. I sure do. Watching this on TV, this news about what was happening down in Florida, and that was a gay bar. [Jeffrey] wanted to come outside; it was quiet out here and everything. I just don’t want him standing around, out here by himself walking down the street or something. A lot of people just do things for meanness, you know.
Do you feel unsafe in your neighborhood?
Jeffrey: I mean, just not too long ago, people shot at my grandma’s house.
Lo: Some youngster passed through here and shot at the house, started right there, went around and hit the garage.
Jeffrey: And it was surprising what my grandma did. Everyone told her to leave the house, and she’s like no, I’m not leaving this house. She’s lived here for so long, just because some punk kid wants to shoot the house. I don’t know why, it was because of my brother or something.
I know you guys just had a tragedy in your family with your brother. You lost him to gun violence, he was shot. That must have been really hard.
Lo: That’s right, it was really sad. We were all in the house there that night, and some little young kid came over here on a bike. He said Sumar -- we called him Sumar -- just got shot. And that was just about two blocks up the street there. His chest was all tore up inside, you know.
I’m sure that was really painful to lose your brother. Was that your big brother?
Jeffrey: No, that was my little brother.
How old was he?
Lo: His birthday was April 17th, and this happened April 19th, two days after his 15th birthday.
Jeffrey: I didn’t know right at first. I was in my room, and I was watching the preview of a movie about the pyramids in Egypt. I heard the phone ringing, and it was my mom. You could hear the sadness in her voice, and how heartbroken she was. She was saying, ‘my baby’s gone, my baby’s gone.’ I hung up the phone, I took a deep breath, and I just accepted it.
Lo: You know, these teenagers getting these guns now, they don’t care, they don’t have no feelings, they don’t have no conscience. They just shoot first, just to be shootin'. It’s really rough about all of this gun violence.
Jeffrey: If they’re allowing guns, I’m saying, just have the guns that police officers can use. Don’t let someone randomly come up and say, ‘Oh, can I just buy a gun for my safety.”
Lo: They’re stealing guns and everything. Guns that can kill people. They just get ‘em any way they can.
Jeffrey, tell me what you love about your great grandma, Loretta.
Jeffrey: Well, that’s a long, that’s a long ... that’s like a lifetime of telling you how much I love my grandma. She’s always there for me.
Lo: Well, I guess 'cuz I raised him. He’s more like my child, I love him.
Jeffrey: For me, I like to always stay close to my grandma, if she needs anything. So I sleep right next to her, on the other side of the bed, just in case. Sometime when she wakes up, I ask her if she needs any water, do you want me to get you something? You remember, Lo, remember that one time when you weren’t feeling good? And you said to make you some lemon tea? I made it for you. Then you said you wanted soup, mostly soup, but no noodles, so I got that for you?
(Lo laughs)
He makes it sound like he moved in with you to take care of you. Or was it the other way around?
Lo: Other way around! (laughs)
