Report: A San Francisco One-Bedroom Costs ... How Much?

We're No. 1!

In terms of unaffordable one-bedroom apartments, that is.

That news -- which perhaps we should hesitate to describe as such,  but there you go --  comes courtesy of the September report on U.S. rents from the rental website Zumper.

According to the site, the median rent for a San Francisco one-bedroom apartment is now $3,530, up 13.9 percent from a year ago, and almost 1 percent from last month. Those figures, Zumper says, are based on analyzing "rental data from over 1 million active listings across the United States."

Just think: What else could you get for that amount of money? Well, a one-bedroom apartment in New York City plus $370 back, for instance. According to Zumper, the Big Apple is No. 2 in terms of stomach-churning one-bedroom rents, with a median of $3,160.

And just to show things are tough all over, Bay Area rent-wise, the report puts San Jose at No. 4, with a median rent of $2,220, and Oakland at No. 6, at $2,030.  Of course, you could always move to Sacramento, where a one-bedroom goes for a median of $970. On the other hand, you'll have to root for the Sacramento Kings, so think about it carefully.

And if all this depresses you, San Francisco one-bedroom shoppers, just be glad you're not looking for a two-bedroom. The median price on that is $4,900.

As for three-bedrooms, in order to view that data, you'll need a note from a mental health professional, so just forget it.