(Image: "The Colbert Report")
(Image: “The Colbert Report”)

Eight hundred thousand workers furloughed, nutrition programs for women and children threatened, and our national panda cam blacked out. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, you’d have to have a heart of stone to read about our government shutdown without wanting a little comic relief.

And we’ve got that for you, right here, thanks first to NPR’s Two-Way news blog and its 8 Great ‘Shutdown Pickup Lines’:

— “You’re all the stimulus I need.”

— “I’m on furlough from the TSA. Want me to wand you?”

— “Do you work for the government? Because you shut. it. down.”

— “Where have you been sequestered all my life?”

— “Do you not carry health insurance? Because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.”

— “My resolution continues ALL NIGHT.”

— “The IRS is suspending all audit activities. But I’ll still check you out.”

— “The only thing nonessential about you are those pants.”

And the best of the rest, starting with NPR’s Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me“:

We also discover that NASA’s pioneering Voyager 2, hurtling along near the edge of the solar system, has a little bit of an attitude about events back home:

Next: Stephen Colbert, who has kept us sane through many a political melodrama:

From “The Daily Show,” fake news with Jon Stewart. (Warning: Partisan political views are expressed here):

And finally  — not comic really, but illuminating and entertaining — CNN’s Piers Morgan discusses the shutdown and the Affordable Care Act with Tea Party leader Amy Kremer:

Tea Party’s Amy Kremer: “Harry Reid wants a shutdown because he believes it’s a political victory for the Democrats”As the clock struck midnight in Washington, D.C., officially shutting down the American government, Piers Morgan invited Amy Kremer to offer her specific perspective on, among other things, Obamacare, the very bill that sits at the center of the debate currently holding up business in the nation’s c…

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Dan Brekke

Dan Brekke is a blogger, reporter and editor for KQED News, responsible for online breaking news coverage and specializing in topics ranging from California water issues and the Bay Area's transportation challenges. In a newsroom career that began in Chicago in 1972, Dan has worked as a city and foreign/national editor for The San Francisco Examiner, editor at Wired News, deputy editor at Wired magazine, managing editor at TechTV as well as for several web startups. Since joining KQED in 2007, Dan has reported, edited and produced both radio and online features and breaking news pieces. Dan has shared in two SPJ Norcal "Excellence in Journalism" awards at KQED: in 2012, for reporting on a KQED Science series on water and power in California; and in 2014, for KQED's comprehensive reporting on the South Napa Earthquake. In addition to his 44 years of on-the-job education, Dan is a lifelong student of history and is still pursuing an undergraduate degree. Email Dan at: dbrekke@kqed.org Twitter: twitter.com/danbrekke Facebook: www.facebook.com/danbrekke LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/danbrekke

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