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9 Fake Things That Went Wrong With the Facebook IPO

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It's been a week since Facebook went public, and investors have been defriending it ever since. And that may be the least of the company's worries.

As a public service, and for the historical record, we gave our crack financial team the task of ferreting out what, exactly, happened.

Here are nine things they discovered that went wrong with the Facebook IPO...

  1. Mark Zuckerberg updating his status to "well...that didn't go very well" an hour after launch provides impetus for short selling
  2. Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg's defriending of Morgan Stanley and Nasdaq immediately after first trade results in a mini-panic
  3. Zuckerberg ringing the Nasdaq bell in his bathing suit gives institutional investors pause
  4. Virtual shares sold on Farmville dilutes the offering
  5. "Strong Buy" rating from Bernie Madoff sends smart money to the sidelines
  6. Facebook referring all questions about improper disclosures to Andy Samberg rubs media the wrong way
  7. Zuckerberg's drunken "I am the mayor of Crapville" update interpreted negatively by analysts
  8. Sole warning of "potentially increased competition from Friendster" considered not enough of a risk assessment by SEC
  9. Mid-day changing of Facebook's ticker symbol from "FB" to "FU" -- not a good sign for anyone

Happy Memorial Day weekend, everyone!

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