The Post Where KQED Staff Imagine What Google Employees Complain About…

Fortune magazine has named Google the best place in America to work. And why not? Check out the perks bestowed on the privileged citizens of the Kingdom of Search:

  • Yoga
  • Car wash
  • Running trails
  • Subsidized massages
  • Free laundry machine
  • Rock climbing wall
  • Bike repair
  • Blah blah blah we get free tote bags here so shut up

What do they got going over there, Sweden? Well, paying tribute to the American worker’s right — nay, duty — to complain about his or her workplace no matter how much of a pampering paradise it may be, we asked our otherwise extremely busy newsroom staff to come up with some bones your average imaginary Googler might have to pick with their bosses.

Overheard at Google (in our heads)…

  • “This roll on my Kobe beef burger is not gluten-free.”
  • “The infinity pool is really over-chlorinated today.”
  • “No pilates instruction on the 4:18 shuttle?”
  • “The medical plan only paid for half my cousin’s liposuction.”
  • “This stock is never going to get out of triple digits, is it?”
  • “Sushi? Again?”
  • “Hey Frank, a couple of us are getting together after work to buy Yahoo! You in? C’mon!”
  • “I love this place, but why does it sound like it was named by a baby?”

It’s Friday. We’re out. Go Niners!

Author

Jon Brooks

Jon Brooks writes mostly on film for KQED Arts. He is also an online editor and writer for KQED's daily news blog, News Fix. Jon is a playwright whose work has been produced in San Francisco, New York, Italy, and around the U.S.

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