‘We Always Had A Bond’: Remembering a Dad Lost to COVID-19

Gaspar Gomez first came to this country from Mexico City when he was 16 years old. He lived in the San Fernando Valley and worked as a day laborer in construction for most of his life.

On May 3, he died of COVID-19.

He was 51 years old. His daughter, Lucia Gomez, said they've sometimes had a difficult relationship, but they’ve always had a special connection.

Gomez said banda music was a big part of her dad’s life — he loved listening to Chalino Sanchez’s "El Pavido Navido."

“He loved dancing and I did too,” said Gomez. “We would go to this place, it's called La Perla,” which used to be located in north Los Angeles on Vanowen and Sepulveda. “Him and I would just have dinner and have our dance. We’d love to be happy.”

Gomez’s parents split up when she was about 8 years old. Her mom moved with the kids to the Fresno area.

“I feel like that really hurt my dad because he really loves his family,” said Gomez. “He really was a family guy. And to not have his family … it made him get into a worse path in his life. He looked into drugs, and he went in and out of jail for a few years because he just was so lost.”

But Gomez tried to stay in touch with her dad.

“I always tried to stay by his side and make sure that he tried to follow his path and better his life,” she said. “But unfortunately, I spent so many years trying to make that happen, and it just wouldn't.”

Gomez and her dad stopped talking for three years. Then she started hearing from friends and family that he was doing better.

“He had met someone,” said Gomez. “Elba, his wife, really helped him to get on a better path.”

A few years ago, her father's wife Elba Regalado called Gomez. “‘Look, Lucy, your dad really has changed,’” Gomez said Elba told her. “‘Give him another chance, you know, and you'll see, you know, that he is doing a lot better and maybe you guys can bond again.’”

Gomez agreed with Regalado to meet with her dad.

“Me and my husband met with them at a Denny's,” said Gomez. “I saw my dad again, you know, I saw who he's always been — a happy soul, loving towards his family.”

Gomez said she's shared many more good moments with her dad since they reconnected. Two years ago Gaspar held a quinceañera for his stepdaughter, Janet.

“We got to dance once again,” said Gomez. “And who would have known that that was going to be the last time we were going to get to dance, but I'm very grateful that we did and thankfully we have a video of it.”

“La Loba Del Mal,” another classic Chalino Sanchez song, is playing in the background of the video, as Gomez and her dad tear up the dance floor.

“When I get sad or when I think of anything sad about him not being here, I look at that video and it just brings me back to reality that, at least, even though our life was tough, we at least most of our life always had a bond with each other,” said Gomez.

“Before he passed away, he understood that I never held a grudge on him and that I forgave him for anything that I felt he did wrong to us in our life,” said Gomez. “He left with that peace of mind.”

Gomez isn’t sure how her dad contracted COVID-19. But Gaspar was also able to reconnect with his other children before he passed away in Holy Cross Hospital in the San Fernando Valley. After a few weeks of treatment, the doctors told Regalado to choose whether or not to take her dad off life support. But Regalado wanted Gomez to make the decision.

“If we keep him, it's us being selfish because it's going to hurt us to lose him,” said Gomez. After talking to the doctors, Gomez made the decision to let him go.

“Even though he is gone, I know he will always be in our hearts. So Happy Father's Day, dad," Gomez said. "Until we meet again.”

Gomez has set up a family gofundme for memorial and hospital expenses.