Astrological Signs as Castro Cocktails

I still remember my first time in the Castro after an awkward date where we “bumped into his family” in Japantown. I had a first cocktail (equally as awkward!) when he took me to the now-closed Badlands, the tart grapefruit of their Greyhound easing the pain of being at an empty nightclub while the sun was still out.

I’ve come to know the corners of the Castro after almost a decade of reveling in its queer magic. Even after visiting the various gayborhoods around the world, I’m always drawn back here. Maybe it’s because of the memories I’ve built, the history I get to soak in, or the fact that there’s literally something here for everyone.

That’s the prevailing sentiment around the Castro: It’s for everyone. And to prove it, I’ve paired each of the astrological signs with a different specialty drink crafted and served at a beloved establishment in the Castro. Whether or not you jam with the stars, there’s a constellation of places to hang out, especially during Pride Month!

Some might question why I paired Aries, the spark of the astrological signs, to an Irish coffee at Twin Peaks Tavern. Don’t be fooled by the relaxed atmosphere: This historic spot was the first gay bar in the city, and possibly the country, to have full-length windows — a bold move at a time when even being seen inside a gay bar could get you into trouble. The nerve continues with fire sign Leo, where karaoke nights at Midnight Sun on Wednesdays with some frosé mean the time is ripe for you to shine in the spotlight, including contests during the last Wednesday of every month. And for the adventurous fire sign Sagittarius? One step into Last Rites transports you to a tropical scene, and the No Doctor on Board cocktail brings the Legend of the Hidden Temple fantasy to life.

The emotionally perceptive Cancer might crave a glass of red wine to pair with tarot nights on Monday evenings at Blush! Wine Bar, if you can get them out of the house. For more of a brooding and cheeky time, a whisk(e)y neat might be more of Scorpio’s speed at the leather-laden 440. Scorpio thrives in intensity, but dreamy Pisces, the last water sign, is perfect for white wine and musical nights at The Edge on Monday, Wednesday and Sunday nights, singing about their on-screen dreams alongside a bar full of people.

Libra, always looking for balance, is perfect for the equally posh and untamed weekend drag brunches at Beaux, complete with mimosas (the balance of which is up to them!). The inquisitive Aquarius, on the other hand, seeks novel ideas and inventive cocktails at Lobby Bar. Will they go for the spicy Carly Rae Jepsen or the unconventional Umi — or perhaps, something entirely unexpected from their seasonally rotating menu. Gemini, the last of the air signs, is perfect for the signature Haterade cocktail at Hi Tops during trivia nights on Tuesdays. Because we get it: You drink and you know things.

Finally, the grounded and pragmatic Earth signs: Capricorn works hard and plays equally as hard, so a shot of tequila at The Café is as to the point as they are. Although Capricorn came out to party, you might have to drag out the cozy-loving Taurus, whose love for comfort matches a warming Old Fashioned at The Blackbird (perfect for the book-loving Taurus at the bar and the social Taurus by the pool table alike). Finally, the discerning Virgo needs a glass of sparkling wine at Lookout at the end of a long week: nothing helps them unwind more than people watching and assessing the passerby’s life choices.

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Josh Decolongon is a certified sommelier and holds the WSET Level 4 Diploma. He is the host and producer of “No Crumbs,” a new digital video series from KQED. Find it on Instagram @KQEDFood. Follow Josh on Instagram at @sommeligay.