Michael Procopio

I am terribly fond of martinis, Edward Gorey, and sleeping with many pillows. You are more than welcome to follow me on Twitter: @procopster

I Killed Audrey Hepburn

Michael Procopio shares a story about adolescent innocence, travel, synchronicity, and Hollywood stars. A recipe for a Slow-Acting Old Fashioned Cocktail is included.

When Life Gives You Melons…

There are so many melons one could possibly squeeze for juice, but I am currently loving Piel de Sapo. We sometimes eat it like candy at the end of our work shift when it’s in season. It’s flavor is sweet and subtle and vaguely cantaloupe-like. Apparently, it is also referred to as Santa Claus melon, because it can be stored for so long that it can sometimes keep until Christmas.

Horta Culture.

There’s an unassuming little dish we serve at our restaurant. The Greeks ask for it by its name: horta. Non-Greeks ask for “a side of braised greens” because they either don’t know the proper term for it or do know but are afraid to sound out the first, faintly phlegmy syllable in public.

Junk Food Porn: Cruising for Beefaroni

I popped into my corner store around noon to pick up some hot sauce in order to add a little zing to my falafel wrap, but as I stood in the back aisle trying to decide between the Sriracha and Tabasco and Cholula, the desire for an altogether different kind of heat began to overtake me.

KY Jelly Is My New Jam

I decided to make my own Kentucky jelly, the old-fashioned way, just to take the bad taste out of my mouth. And when I say “old-fashioned,” I mean like the cocktail of the same name.

The Corn Dogs of Easter

And in the middle of everything would be a treat which would really bring home the drama of Christ’s Passion in edible form. Something delicious and filling, but would still remind us of Christ’s suffering with each and every mouthful: corn dogs on a cross.

Eating Light

By "eat light," I mean feed myself with as many (good) mood-enhancing ingredients as I can get my hands on. This Holiday Season, while I still plan on consuming my fair share of spiked eggnog and Christmas cookies, I'll be self-medicating with more fruits and vegetables and less bourbon.

First Lady Cookie Toss-Up Part II: Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama's husband may have won The White House, but her citrus and amaretto-laced shortbread lost the Family Circle Bake-Off in 2008 to Cindy McCain's plagiarized Butterscotch Oatmeal cookies. To date, she is the only woman to lose the bake-off yet become first lady.

First Lady Cookie Toss-Up: Ann Romney’s M&M Cookies

What is interesting about this contest is not so much about how good these cookies are (or aren't), but rather, what each recipe says about the woman who submitted it. And, by extension, her husband's political philosophies. Do these treats adhere to their respective party platforms? The only way to find out is to bake them.

Touchscreen Dining: Out of Touch?

When my friend Roy alerted me to this new piece of technology, my first reaction as both a career server at a fine dining establishment and someone resistant to new technology was to view the E La Carte tablet as vilely impersonal and a threat to my profession. Over the last 24 hours, however, I have calmed myself as I weigh what I imagine the cons-- and the pros-- are of this particular piece of equipment.

Oscar Tribute: (Irene Irene) Cara Cara Granita

I thought long and hard about which singer to single out and pay tribute to. Judy Garland? Too obvious. And the only thing I could think of doing for her was making a meal comprised entirely of pills, which is beyond my scope as a home cook. Bing Crosby? I suppose I could have taken some young, tender chicken, beaten it mercilessly, and marinated it in Minute Maid orange juice, but I didn't have the stomach for it.