Pussy Pop

A few weeks ago I was buying a six-pack of Red Bull for my aunt, and since I'm not a huge soda fan, I was taking a minute to peruse the beverage aisle of my local grocery store to see what newcomers have arrived in the world of pop. My former favorites were there, such as Pepsi, Coke, Barq's, and 7-Up. But the selection of new sodas on the market was staggering.

Did you know that Mountain Dew is now making a breakfast soda? That Pepsi has created "Pepsi Max," which contains ginseng and even more caffeine that a regular cola? And that there's a new brand of soda called Pussy Pop?

Wait, what? Yes, you heard me. Pussy Pop.

I stopped to look again, and sure enough, the can said exactly what I thought it did. The name was followed by a catchy subtitle, describing the beverage as "a refreshing delicious drink for your cat." A quick flip of the can revealed a frightening list of ingredients that includes carbonated water, coconut extract, whey protein, caramel coloring, sugar, and three different kinds of meat-based flavorings.

So, I bought a can. What else was I supposed to do? Then, like a good little blogger, I came home and started to research my bizarre find. Pussy Pop is indeed meant for cats, but I discovered that there is an actual human market for this stuff. Meaning, people drink it.

Again, you heard me. There is a surprisingly large demographic of people who drink this sweetened, carbonated meat broth. And apparently it's become quite a popular drink to mix with any number of alcoholic beverages.

A little digging revealed that the company that produces Pussy Pop--Pet Pro, Co.--at first manufactured the soda to a few very small distribution centers, but the product took off to the point that Pet Pro couldn't keep up with demand. They were eventually able to produce enough cat soda to sate a hoard of thirsty customers, and now the craze is spreading across the nation.

I was still aghast that this vile product even existed, but that incredulity was beginning to turn to curiosity. I eyeballed the can on my desk, still cold from the refrigerated aisle at the supermarket. It was a lovely false-spring day here in Oakland; temperatures had hit 70 degrees that afternoon, and a small rivulet of moisture ran down the side of the can, not unlike those images from 80s Coke commercial that showed a sweaty basketball player drinking an ice cold bottle of Gatorade. An impulse came over me. I had to taste it. I mean, how could I not?

I poured a cold glass of Pussy Pop, then set it down on the counter. I stared at the glass for a few minutes before taking a sniff, which revealed an aroma somewhere between Doctor Pepper and chicken soup. A quick sip wasn't so bad - sweet and weirdly savory - but a full-fledged gulp left me gagging and flailing as I reached for the faucet to get the ghastly flavor of cold, over-sweetened beef udon off my palate. People drink this stuff? Really?

The rest of the soda went down the drain, but I saved the can just for the fun of it. It will be a great conversation piece for parties.

And no, my cat wouldn't touch it.

Ed note: we do not recommend that you google the name of this soda, especially while at work.

Happy April Fool's Day!