It's the Holiday Season, if you haven't noticed. Sappy music is piped into our ears if we dare venture pretty much anywhere outside. Macy's is back to putting live kittens in their store windows. People are stressed out at the thought of having to entertain, buy presents, and spend their dwindling piles of money.
And I'm busy-- I've got lots of parties to go to. Because I'm that popular.
I have decided that this year, in light of my own evaporating bankroll, I shall indulge in the spirit of giving by sharing with my friends and loved ones items I have made with my own little hands. Or not so little-- I have more than an octave reach, in piano terms. Not that I play the piano.
This year, I am making Bourbon Balls. No jokes, please. They contain all the vitamins and minerals necessary to get me through the Season: sugar, chocolate, and alcohol. They are relatively easy to make, but look as though I've slaved away at them. And they're good. Chocolaty, not too sweet, slightly salty, and just a little boozy.
The way I see it, the chocolate boosts not only one's endorphins, thus enhancing one's Holiday mood, it helps out the immune system, too. Alcohol, of course, lowers one's inhibitions, which helps at just about any party I've ever been to. This leads me to the conclusion that, if there is some hot stranger in a Christmas sweater you've been eyeing from across the room, I might prescribe several Bourbon Balls before making your move. With the resultant boost in mood, courage, and disease immunity, you'll be nicely set up for an approach. If he or she simply stares blankly and then proceeds to sneeze on you, you're well protected. If this is the case, return to the plate of Bourbon Balls and repeat with your #2 choice of mate.