With a Mayor whose life appears to need the same kind of control his gel exerts over his hair, and killer frogs stalking Golden Gate Park, spring has fully come to San Francisco.

To honor St. Patty’s Day, I had to write about my newest out-of-body experience: Guinness Floats.

I know there’s a lot of you out there who — for better or for hate — have already suckled at the vanilla-y, stout-y, creamy, heavenly goodness that has recently enraptured my small household. However, for those three of you who haven’t and have always been curious, please seize this holiday opportunity to satisfy yourselves. All it takes is a pint of Haagen-Dazs Vanilla Bean — definitely go whole bean hog on this one, you’ll thank me later — and a six-pack of fully widgeted Guinness cans.

Plop one, two, three, okay, FIVE scoops of ice cream in a pint glass and carefully pour the Guinness over the mound of decadent sensuality. With whorls and dips and swirls, the bitter bite of the Guinness surrounds, melds with, and accentuates the heady vanilla. I know it sounds weird, but it works and it’s beyond fantastic.

Are we all on the same page? Ice cream and beer is a taste only drunk angels could have imagined? Okay. Now, let’s check in with a brand new beer from Hawaii’s Kona Brewing Company that is so brilliant, it should be illegal. Well, hello, Pipeline Porter, what’s your story? What’s that? You say you’re made with 100% KONA COFFEE?! Seriously? Coffee and beer — another brilliant combination. On its own, Pipeline is smooth, rich, smokey, and definitely filled to the rim with coffee. It’s so wonderfully strange, and I can’t remember the last time I was so completely taken with a beer that I started thinking in terms of multiple cases. Oh, wait, I can.

Here it becomes time to apply what we learned earlier with ice cream and beer. My brilliant, BRILLIANT husband is the one who pointed out that if we can reach near nirvana with Guinness and ice cream, how far can we go if we match Pipeline Porter with ice cream? So far that I don’t think we’ve yet returned to Earth.

Guinness or Pipeline — it’s up to you, but you’ll be sorry if you don’t try one of them.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Beer Floats 15 March,2007Stephanie Lucianovic

  • Ryan

    Guinness floats are indeed brilliant, you can get a “Shaking Jesse” at Rudy’s Cant Fail Cafe in Emeryville, it’s Guinness plus two shots of espresso plus ice cream!

    Also, the Pipeline sounds great, but knowing about it is pretty useless since I don’t know where to buy it. I certainly haven’t seen it in any stores. Also, their website gives no information on this. Oh well.

  • Wendy

    I am one of the three…and even though I usually avoid St Patrick’s Day…bad memories of subway rides in nyc with wasted green teenagers…I am game to give the Pipeline Float a go! Wonder how it will taste with Straus Vanilla Bean?

  • Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic

    So sorry to be useless, Ryan. I found it at BevMo, Albertsons, and Andronico’s.

  • cucina testa rossa

    well i am the second of three opting for the wimpy uber pale ale when the occasion for beer presents itself. but i will defer to Your Beerness and if you say it’s divine, then i’m game.

  • Thy Tran

    I’m not a huge fan of beer but I LOVE Guinness Floats! What isn’t good with ice cream? Definitely looking forward to trying Pipeline. Thanks for a fun post!

  • Ryan

    Definitely didn’t mean to say the whole post is useless! And I take back saying that about the beer part; I emailed the company and they promptly sent me the phone number for the distributor, who I was about to call, but now you’ve saved me the time!

    Thanks for turning me on to this beer. I think I was just frustrated bc it sounded so good and I couldn’t get one ;->

  • jess

    I have a suggestion for you that will tie just about everything in your post together; Guinness & a shot of espresso. Seriously. I drank it when I lived in Scotland (no, not every morning). Now, if you added some ice cream to that . . .

  • Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic

    Oooh, sounds delish! I’m off to England soon, maybe — to reap the ultimate experience — I’ll have to indulge in this over there.


Stephanie Lucianovic

A former picky eater, Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic is a writer, editor, and lapsed cheesemonger in the San Francisco Bay Area. A culinary school grad with an English lit degree, she has written for CNN.com, MSNBC.com, Popular Science, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Boston Globe. Additionally, she has been writing for KQED’s Bay Area Bites since its inception and is the website editor for KQED’s Emmy-award winning show “Check, Please! Bay Area.”

Stephanie was an original recapper at Television Without Pity and worked on a line of cookbooks for William-Sonoma as well as in the back kitchen of a Jacques Pépin cooking show. Her first book, SUFFERING SUCCOTASH: A Picky Eater’s Quest To Understand Why We Hate the Foods We Hate (Perigee Books, 2012) is a non-fiction narrative and a heartfelt and humorous exposé on the inner lives of picky eaters that Scientific American called “hilarious” and “the perfect popular science book for a reader that doesn’t think he or she wants to read a popular science book.”

Stephanie lives in Menlo Park with her husband, three-year-old son, assorted cats, and has been blogging at The Grub Report for over a decade.

Follow her on Twitter at @grubreport

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